#idk idk idk i just
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outfoxt · 9 months ago
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this is going to sound really fucked up but i just need to say it i think.
I never realized that people could actually care. I always thought that the depictions of friendship in movies and TV shows were over-the-top portrayals, and weren't things that actually happened. This was then exacerbated by the fact that my entire life I always wanted people to just Know How I Was Feeling like they do on TV and I found out that that's Not How It Works. I always thought I was naive for caring so much about my friends and for doing nice things for them out of the blue, and I always resented myself for resenting my parents for not doing more for me as a child.
So when I got to uni, and my friends started caring about me and asking if I was ok when I looked sad and doing nice things for me, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in a long time. When I was staying with a friend, and she said that she left the window open in the room I was going to be staying in because I liked it to be cold when i sleep, I bluescreened. I didn't know how to respond. It is quite literally one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me. No one had ever paid that much attention to the things I liked. Every year on my birthday it was either a gamble if I would get something I actually wanted from my parents (spoiler alert: I was often disappointed) or I would just have to straight up tell them what I wanted. I got accustomed to the latter, and now I don't mind, but receiving two gifts from friends about languages this year made me realize that I could have it so much better.
And don't even get me started on online friends. I sort of thought that everyone was lying about them? Or that it was something unattainable, and reserved only for God's Chosen Favorites or something. But no, there are little people in my phone who care about me. They legitimately care about me as much as I care about them. I've been nervous to ask them about their well-being because I'm still nervous about being naive and getting a wake-up call that no one cares again, but after being told that they were worried about me when I overslept, I think i should know that I'm in the clear. And that's not even including all the times they tell me to go to bed when it's late, and when they ping me about things I may enjoy or things I was involved in.
All this is to say I guess that I'm touched that people remember my existence. It makes me feel good to be wanted. I will be eternally grateful to both my irl and online friends who made me realize that just because my parents or my friends from home didn't care enough to remember what I like or to go out of their way to do nice things for me, it doesn't mean that no one will. I need to step up and do more for you guys. I trained myself to push down my desire to help and check in with people because I thought I was betting on something that I'd never get in return, but now I know I can.
Thank you all, and I love you 💚
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blabberoo · 3 months ago
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Idk what au im cooking.. but Im cooking..
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everoutoftouch · 9 months ago
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If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.
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daisyofwaterdeep · 3 months ago
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had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb
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jasric · 22 days ago
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Another one… just endless inspiration It’s so heartbreaking
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so-many-ocs · 1 year ago
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
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nathaniacolver · 2 months ago
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arcane ships be like
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i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)
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evidently-endless · 9 months ago
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
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wormspoodle · 2 months ago
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compiled some things
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sheepydraws · 9 months ago
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The secret Dungeon Meshi sauce that's getting people to eat better is that it's so non-judgmental. Senshi and the rest of the gang never talk about what not to eat besides things that taste bad and literal poison. They don't even talk about "health" that much besides the importance of a balanced diet. It's so much easier to eat well when you think of food simply as something your body needs, and that it's often worth the extra effort to make it taste good, especially when you understand how to connect "things your body needs" with "things that taste good"
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ciderjacks · 6 months ago
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Sometimes I’m reminded that in universe Chilchuck is an actually influential figure who like. Made huge advancements for his people and community. Like as in gave them rights and protections. And who is widely known by half-foots because of that. Like. He’s not just some guy.
Idk For some reason that just makes his role in canon really funny to me. Like this older, extremely important and accomplished figure is just willingly putting himself thru it for the sake of this random autistic 26 year old.
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12neonlit-stage · 3 months ago
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you're allowed to discuss and work together, reblog for a higher sample size or something
You have 1 week, good luck!
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dramatic-dolphin · 3 months ago
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when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"
the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.
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inkedberries · 1 year ago
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after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...
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throw the man a bone batman geez
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starridge · 5 months ago
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puppet hour was brutal
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