#this job was supposed to be THE job
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#why can't i be happy :(#i cried 3 times at work on tuesday#and once in front of everyone on wednesday#this job was supposed to be THE job#i'm quitting#i don't care about the money at this point i'm miserable#personal
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ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL
#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GAIN EXPERIENCE YOU STUPID FUCKS#I HATE THIS I HATE JOB HUNTING THIS SYSTEM IS ABSOLUTE DOG SHIT
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Something tells me this isn't Flowey...
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#deltarune#undertale#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#my art#kris dreemurr#susie deltarune#frisk#so much for avoiding fights#how are they supposed to get past that thing?#things are only gonna gett weirder from here on out#also great job susie#you and your big mouth#unsuspecting tiny thing turning into a big monster is the trope ever
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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I truly, TRULY do not know how to say this, because the fact that I have to say it makes me feel like I am losing my grip on reality. But no, in the post-capitalistic anarchist utopia, I will not be relying on “autistic minecraft girlies” to be building inspectors because - and this may shock you - one of those occupations takes years of education in how to read and interpret hundreds of thousands of lines of regulations based on complicated math and physics that were the result of decades of tragedy and death, and the other one involves playing a children’s video game.
#i am begging this website. BEGGING it. to stop acting like building codes are state oppression#and please stop reducing blue collar jobs to 'so easy any handyman could do it with a youtube video'#that's how people fucking die#i didn't spend five years learning how to do my job safely to watch people online tell me it could've just been a course in high school#i know that this is like. a minority minority opinion and not really worth getting worked up over#but it's so annoying to see supposed leftists denigrating blue collar jobs like this#same poster also opined that we won't need garbagemen#because 'if the trash is bothering people they'll figure out a way to clean it without having to pick it up'#like what??? does that even fucking mean????#construction
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It was easy to lure the newest Titan away from the rest, back the boy into a corner. He was the weakest link, the newest hero, the easiest to manipulate-
Then, the ghost child transformed, glowing rings passing over his body to reveal a familiar black-haired boy. "Uncle Slade, what the fuck are you doing?"
#Danny: is this your midlife crisis? Do I need to tell Joey?#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc prompt#c: danny fenton#c: slade wilson#reluctant murder uncle slade wilson#this time literally!#former alicia walker x slade wilson#Danny had no idea of his uncle slade's job#slade is still in contact with his ex-sister in law because she makes great guns#danny recognized slade's voice#Danny: you didn't even use a voice changer! You're using your first name!#Slade: my villain name is Deathstroke and you're a bunch of teenagers; what was I supposed to do!?#Danny: NOT BE A VILLAIN!
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no thoughts just These TwoTM touch-starved losers gradually evolving into the epitome of casual touching/cuddling for absolutely no reason and they probably don't even realize they're doing it lol <'3
#bitching to the bartender (affectionate)#''but how can Angel be touch starved with the job he has?'' well it's not about the Quantity of the touch but the Quality you see---#ough.. they make me so............. TTTwTTT#angelhusk#huskerdust#hazbin hotel#angel dust#husk#my art#this was just supposed to be a doodle but alas! i'm not complaining tho gjsdgjjsdg#anyways. is this also covertly a piece of my [REDACTED] agenda?? ...maybe but i'm still not ready for that yet x3c#SOMEDAY. someday i will make y'all suffer alongside me gjjfdgs but that day is not yet x'D#also screw it imma start tagging angelhusk too bc i like that one better lmfaoooooo
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my chemical romance albums but make them (a24(ish)) film posters
#just for funsies…..#well they’re SUPPOSED to be a24 type posters bc i think they’re always neat but if they miss the mark who gives a fuck#i missed doing like strictly graphics based work instead of always cramming illustration in somewhere#also losing my job means i have a Lot of free time in the evenings after freelance and i am so bored all the time#anyways.#mcr#my chemical romance#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love#three cheers for sweet revenge#the black parade#danger days#gerard way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way#mine#arty art
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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Jazz always wanted a little brother.
Her best friend's mommy having a baby brother in her tummy, but right now they were at gotham, mom was meeting with some important people while she stay safe in the car with dad sleeping in the front passenger seat.
When she asked her mom and dad for a baby brother earlier that same week, mom had to explained that her tummy was broken after she had her because she was a very special miracle baby because they tried so hard to have her.
Jazz understood but at the same time, she wanted- no she need a baby brother, maybe one with dad's hair and mom's eyes, or maybe one with hair like hair and dad's eyes.
And she was determined, as she snuck out of the fentomobile car, sneaking inside beside the scary ninjas guards that were temporarily distracted.
She was very good at sneaking around thanks to mom training her to stay quiet and hide better then a ghost.
There was pools of ectoplasmic but much dirtier and less cleaner then the stuff mom and dad work with. Container and chambers full of them.
She saw doctor walking out of one room and snuck in before the the door close on her. There was another ectoplasmic container that had babies in them..
One sleeping upside down and the other upside up. The one of the bottom was sleeping but the older has his eyes open, revealing pretty blue eyes like dad's eyes.
She chewed on her bottom lip a bit and weigh her short limited choices as nodding.
She close her eyes, focusing as she quickly started to float a bit wobbly, sticking her small hands onto the glass ectoplasmic ball using her secret powers that she had learned without mom and dad noticing.
Her invisible hand grabbed the baby slowly, making it invisible as she pulled it out of the ectoplasmic ball.
The baby was very small and light then a feather while covered in wet ectoplasm goop.. the baby cough a bit, dripping ectoplasm out his mouth, squirming a bit as he was about to male a fuzz but quiet down as she held him close into her warm fuzzy jacket.
She snuck back out of the room and quickly out of the place all the way back into fentonmobile..
Covering the baby with her Einstein beat designed blanket, cleaning the baby up like she would with her baby dolls, and she open the empty toy baby bottle and open her mini almond milk jug, then pour the milk in and close it, after remembering to cut a little open hole on the tip of the hard plastic nibble part.
Scooting over to the baby, and carefully picking him up and helding him close onto her lap like she seen the mommy do on TV as she press the toy baby bottle again the baby's mouth.
It would be 1 hour later before mom came back looking excited then 2 hours later after they left gotham before a soft baby wail woke her dad from the backseat of the fenton car where jazz was.
Jazz was pink in the face as she was trying to hide the baby but she couldn't stop him from crying.
It would 20 minutes of jazz lying straight to her parents's faces on where she found the baby, and it would forever be her only best lie she ever told that convinced them to adopt the baby boy that was now named danny..
Meanwhile back at league of Assassin headquarters. The head scientist has noticed that the first unborn twin baby has been removed early then schedule, probably due to natural condition of death since the first one has a much weaker pulse compared to the second unborn baby which Talia had name Damian later.
The leading scientist check off the existence of the supposed first born who went without a name on the data base...
Unknownly to both parties, Jazz was very happy to have a little brother of her own now, even if his eyes flashes green a bit from time to time.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp prompt#dcxdp#danny and damian are twins#danny was the first born#that was supposed to be disposed before birth due to a weak heart#jazz wanted a little brother no matter the cost#maddie were former members of the League of assassin#Jack fenton was her retirement choice and her reason to keep him out of her former past job#maddie fell in love with Jack and his love for ghost hunting and he was her reason to leave her life as a undecover assassin#even if she took some of his info gather of 'ectoplasm' and send them to the league as a payment of her leaving them#league of assassins#jazz is liminal#how you expect a toddler to not eat the shiny green liquids that her parents experiment with#she will never admit to tell them that she had eaten more then a few of the missing vials after they told her that it was danger to people
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The Angel Wings
#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun maximum#it was supposed to be called a smile that doesn't reach the eyes#but i wasn't sure i did a good job on that#so angel wings it is#which is also the name of the plant#...it is also called a sea cabbage and i love that dearly#las!art
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Arthur: I'm tired
Merlin, who hasn't slept in 72 hours and has his fifteenth coffee intus: maybe you should go to bed
#bbc merlin#merlin#merthur#merlin bbc#arthur#concept#i'm actually tired#with a little headache#so this is all i can do for today#you know how my teachers all want us to calculate in 8 hours per week for one course?#I have 10 courses#and a job that's 17 hours per week because legally I'd loose my Student status if I worked more than 20 hours#when am i supposed to write fanfiction????
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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