#this isn’t even really a “ship” thing

[starburstminibot]

Ok, seeing the post about the playlist, you mentioned how Breakdown only gets his act together after finding out that Bee was carrying

So it got me thinking (and this has actually been in my mind since i first came across the au tbh), but how was it while Bee was like, carrying?? There's the fact that, at first, many of the bots probably don't like Breakdown too since, well, he was not the best bf let's be honest.

Idk, I'm just curious to how things were before Breakcheck came to see the world

(Im going out of town for a week and cant draw so im just answering this with a straight up fanfiction-esk paragraph I’m so sorry wish I could be artistic for you anon)

Long story short: the Autobots are very forgiving but they can also be petty motherfuckers.

I mean they welcomed Megatron among their ranks and treat him (for the most part) as an equal and sometimes even a friend. Of course, Megatron earned that trust after years and years of repentance.

I imagine Breakdown is going through a similar arc. He’s never really been THAT loyal to the Decepticon cause. He just… kinda ended up there and didn’t care enough to do anything about it. He views Autobots as these goody, righteous people that he doesn’t feel like he belongs with. So really… what’s left besides Decepticons (considering yourself a neutral at one point was pretty much a death wish. A faction was the only way to acquire any sort of Energon or medical attention. Something Optimus tried hard to avoid, but the reality was safety in numbers.) the only kinship Breakdown ever felt was with the Stunticons… and they’ve been scattered to who knows where… if they’re even still alive.

Except he did have one friend. A friend he’s somehow managed to keep despite being on opposite sides of the war. He tried to convince Bee to join the Decepticons a few times but it was never with genuine intent. Bee was too good for the Cons; Breakdown knew that. He asked to get a rile out of him more than anything. Of course Bee would retort with his own argument of why BD should defect. He was serious about it… but Breakdown knew his place. He’d already done too much…

Now the war is over. And the leader of his faction doesn’t even believe in the cause anymore. Now, Breakdown’s never been a fan of Megatron anyways, but he sure as hell is pissed off when he abandons them to go be buddies with the Autobots. Maybe Breakdown is a little jealous (Of course, he’d never admit it) That Megatron, possibly the cruelest and most unforgiving of them all, is allowed to be redeemed.

He feels betrayed. All the Decepticons do really… He feels like he was led down a path that would only end in self destruction and at the last moment, the one who was paving the way jumped ship, leaving them all to suffer the consequences alone.

He never even wanted this.

But it’s way too late now. He dug this grave and he’s going to see to it that he’s buried in it. But despite the betrayal, and most of the Decepticons now stabbing each other in the back, trying to claim whatever power they can while holding on to this flimsy cause they can barely call a functioning faction, he still has Bee… who is maybe more than just a friend at this point but that’s a lot of feelings Breakdown isn’t ready to unpack.

And he still runs every time it feels a little too good to be true. Still proclaims his loyalty to the Decepticons because he’s too stubborn to admit he’s on a sinking ship. And he still keeps his distance because he refuses to take Bumblebee down with him when it finally goes under.

And maybe they’ve got a fling going… and maybe the autobots start to catch on. It doesn’t matter though, Breakdown doesn’t stick around long enough to see their sneers.

Until… he finds out Bee’s carrying that is… because damn he may not be the best bot in the galaxy but he’s not a complete deadbeat.

And when it hits him… that he’s going to be a sire… well maybe… he start’s sticking around to see the sneers. He hears the mumbles of disapproval. And boyyy does it make him so angry at first. How dare these holier-than-thou bots. They don’t know him or what he’s had to do to survive. How many comrades he’s lost thanks to them. They don’t know what Bee means to him. They don’t know just how much he loves Bumblebee. How he would lay down his spark for him in a klick.

Then Breakdown questions… Does Bee even know that?

From then on… Breakdown realizes, preserving his ego isn’t worth this. He has a chance now. A real honest chance. To do better… to have the life he actually wants… with the one bot who hasn’t ever given up on him.

He wants it so bad.

So he puts up with the comments and the obvious distrust. Because he’s willing to put in the work it takes to earn it. He’s going to prove how much he wants this. He’s going to prove how much he cares. He’s going to prove he is capable of doing better… and maybe along the way he’ll learn… he’s deserving of better too…

Breakdown is lucky Bumblebee has always been a little spoiled because it didn’t take too much convincing for the autobots to give him a shot. To attempt to accept him into their ranks.

He thought Optimus would be the worst of it. The one who practically raised the bot Breakdown knocked up. And for a while it is. Optimus lectures him every chance he gets. Any small hiccup, any little mistake. He doesn’t go easy on breakdown. Optimus at least pretends to be polite about it, or at least professional.He doesn’t yell, or make unnecessary insults. His words are always very honest (which makes them that much harder to hear) but Breakdown will take it… he’ll sit through it, no matter how hard he has to bite his tongue against saying something he’ll regret. He knows how thin the ice is. But he’ll do it for Bee.

The others are a little more brutal… Elita especially so… they are more sharp with their words (and sometimes their blasters) letting him know just what they think of him.

But no… the worst of all… is Megatron. Because Megatron is probably the only bot in the whole faction who looks at him and empathizes. Breakdown doesn’t want empathy. Especially not from the damn bot who betrayed him. Megatron doesn’t give lectures, he doesn’t verbally or physically abuse him when he steps out of line. He barely even raises his voice. And it pisses Breakdown off more than anything. Sometimes he slips up in front of Megatron just to push his boundaries, just to see if he can break this peaceful facade the ex-brutal-dictator seems to be taking. He’s witnessed the warlord beat bots into scrap for far less… and yet… Megatron won’t. Megatron seems to be attempting to guide Breakdown, to offer a new start to their relationship, and Primus Breakdown wants nothing to do with it. He’d rather be lectured and assigned extra training.

And it takes a long while… longer than Bee’s carrying term, and a little while into Breakcheck’s sparklinghood for the Autobots to really start to come around to him. Optimus’ lectures seem to have a bit of fondness to them. And perhaps Breakdown listens a bit more earnestly and takes to heart some of the genuine advice the Prime gives him. And maybe the sparring with Elita has turned less from a one-sided fight and into an enjoyable workout. And MAYBE… he doesn’t intentionally push Megatron as much, and has come to a realization of his own that his Megatron… is nothing like the one who betrayed him… and perhaps there is more in common between them than he’d like to admit.

And when people look at him now, he’s not just the Con Bumblebee has been sneaking around with. He’s a Sire… and a devoted Conjux…

And maybe this is what he’s always wanted. And he can be deserving of it too.

[cyberphuck]

Couple weeks ago my friend sent me a link to @vaspider shop with their promotion for a buy one get one free on hot/cold packs:

Razz loves to spread the word about shops they buy from, especially small businesses or shops owned and operated by queer people. I did not need a popcorn scented heat pack, so I did not buy anything, but they did.

Tonight I got these messages: 



Emails, you say? Let’s see…

I just want you guys to know that this last line, “after this interaction I can no longer in good conscience promote your work or buy from you,” is akin to burning your crops and salting your fields coming from Razz. They are the most polite person I know. They do not want to stir up trouble. Part of it is because, as a blind person, they have had to learn to be non-confrontational in order to protect themselves, but it’s also because Razz is just genuinely a kind hearted and understanding person.

They live off of disability and occasional commissions, but they use what little money they have to support small businesses and independent artists because they appreciate the quality as well as the work that goes into each item. You can see here that Raz was trying to figure out if it was a genuine misunderstanding on their part because they hadn’t read the site correctly.

They were not able to read the site correctly because they’re blind.

This isn’t really about a misunderstanding, or Razz wanting to get the other item. It’s about Vaspider immediately treating them with contempt when Razz sent an email asking what had gone wrong. Is it the businesses responsibility to eat the cost of shipping due to someone not being able to understand the terms of the sale? It’s certainly good business practice, but I think Razz would have understood if they had been told that it would cost the store too much for another item to be sent if Vaspider hadn’t been such an asshole about it.

Razz is, unfortunately, used to disappointment. They are used to having to struggle to navigate websites that are not made with people like them in mind. They are even, at this point, used to having to lose money on things due to brain damage suffered from being forced into a botched medical procedure last year. But that isn’t how they opened this conversation. They opened with, “I think something may have gone wrong, can you help me understand what happened? “

The way Vaspider treated my friend is disgusting. I hope that those of you reading this will take Vaspiders behavior in this exchange into account when you’re deciding where to spend your money. The next time that you see one of their posts, a link to their store, or receive an email about a sale, I hope that you remember these emails and recall how Vaspider treats people that they don’t think are important. I want you to think about whether the group of people that Vaspider considers to be worthless might include you. 

I know that there are a lot of people willing to come to Vaspiders defense because they’re well-known and popular. They are so well-known and popular that they’re willing to treat one of their customers like garbage over $10 in shipping, and they’re willing to do it right out in the open for everyone to see.

Happy holidays, and eat a big old bag of dicks. 

Let’s fucking go.

[interestingturnofthetables]

Don’t get me wrong, I do also enjoy watching them duke it out in the cage. I think they have a really interesting relationship between them that I love exploring because it’s toxic. I think your version of ‘ship them’ here is pretty much my thoughts on most things too. I just didn’t want to rehash points made above in the tags.

When I say they don’t work together and it makes me sad to see I was more so talking about a specific interpretation (which I didn’t make clear that is on me lol) of post-canon; any variation of Bill shows up at the shack after theraprism and within a week him and ford are somehow in a weirdly stable romantic relationship. I don’t like seeing them in a ‘good’ relationship because it feels disingenuous given their entire history and Ford especially doesn’t deserve that after everything.

As for the au’s, I think there are certain aspects of both their characters that do work well together if they were accentuated. I find it just as interesting to explore that ‘what if’ of any version of such as I do to explore their canon situation. It’s sort of just a chance to mix and match personality traits or motives in a character and see how it turns out. I often very much feel like a mad scientist running a simulation over and over to figure out the perfect scenario and circumstances for my evil plans to unfold.

Even in au situations I tend to lean more towards the ‘everything is terrible! But hey, these guys seem happy!’ premises. (What if Ford was actually just pretty chill with the end of the world? There’s also so much more potential for family angst if Stan is trying to fight this demon but also his brother). I can also appreciate a ‘bill has other motives’ au or the Mr bill pines au where everything is just pretty ideal for everyone involved, because it’s very much just “wow, look what it could’ve been like. How did [canon] happen!?” Which only serves to make the distinction that “yeah. Canon billford is SO toxic” all the clearer.

This isn’t to say I don’t enjoy au’s without romantic/healthy billford. I just think in a different set of circumstances there might be a chance to explore it without it clearly (to the audience) being a manipulation tactic or anything else that is obviously not a healthy relationship. And even without changing every part of their characters, their dynamic is so interesting to explore all the different possible situations, and some of those situations can give them a shot at actually being a good (albeit odd) couple which to me is such a funny concept.

Hopefully that made sense. Tldr: canon billford is toxic but interesting as heck to look at. I just don’t want to see that magically twisted into a ‘healthy’ romantic relationship. And au’s are just like character trait jigsaw puzzles that can give you so many more options of positive or negative relationships under new and interesting circumstances.

The fandom interpretation of billford vs how I interpret it personally has such stark contrast that I kind of wonder if we all read the same book/watched the same show sometimes.

I don’t mean that in a bad way (sorry if I come across as condescending). I find it really interesting actually. I think fandom, in general, has a tendency to ignore darker themes present in a work because they’re difficult to talk about.

I feel a little odd seeing so much fluff and domesticity type stuff surrounding them when their relationship was so terrible. There’s nothing wrong with fluff obviously (I like it sometimes!), it’s just hard for me to fully enjoy … I can’t help but view any moments of Bill treating Ford nicely as underhanded. I am also probably projecting though - part of why I like Billford and interpret it the way I do is because I find it (particularly the darker parts) relatable to me.

I’m curious to hear other peoples opinions on this matter. Sorry for the random rant - don’t worry, I’m working on something! This has just been on my mind lately.

[quadrantadvisor]

DP x DC, revenant!Jason Todd

Shortly after meeting, Danny and Jason have a late night conversation about what it means to come back. 1281 words

On AO3

-

Danny woke groggily, in a dark place that he didn't recognize, and took a moment to get his bearings.

He felt the warning ache in his neck that came from being propped up against an arm rest. There were two sources of dim light in the room—the glow of city street lights, muffled behind a curtain, and the green eyes of the man whose lap Danny's feet were propped on.

Right. Danny hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the revenant’s—on Jason’s—couch, but they’d been talking for so long, he must’ve dozed off.

Jason had had so many questions, about ectoplasm, about the zone, about Danny’s own experiences. Danny had done his best to clear up everything he could. A revenant may not be quite the same as he was, but still, it made Danny happy to be able to pass on his hard won knowledge and maybe save someone else a bit of the hurt and confusion that he’d gone through. It was what he’d always wished someone would do for him.

Jason was slumped into the couch, but he didn’t look relaxed. Danny examined his still profile, cast in strange shadows by its own green glow, and wondered how long it had been since he’d moved.

Danny shifted slightly, purposefully producing the fabric sounds of a body against upholstery, to make sure Jason knew he was awake. No reaction. Danny gave him one more moment, then asked, “You okay?”

Jason didn’t look at him when he answered, “You told me I’m basically possessing my own corpse, and I’m supposed to not be upset about that?”

Really, Danny should’ve predicted something like that. How long had he spent, trying to pretend that death hadn’t really touched him? It wasn’t an easy thing to accept.

“What’s the difference between a body and a corpse?” Danny asked.

Jason’s eyes snapped to Danny, their glow intensifying. “I am not dealing with riddle bullshit right now, I swear to-”

“No, I’m being serious,” Danny interrupted, pulling his feet from Jason’s lap and sitting himself up. “There’s one difference between a corpse and a living body, and that’s that someone is living in it. Jason—” he reached out, gripping one of Jason’s hands in his “—you’re alive. That’s what matters. The rest is details.”

Jason’s shoulders bent inwards, his other hand raising to rub at his chest. “You don’t get it,” he said, quiet. “People don’t just come back from what they did to me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“However you died, it’s not-”

Jason huffed an ugly sound, a short and bitter laugh that Danny hurt to hear. “Is it crazy that that isn’t even what I was talking about? I meant after.” The motion on his chest was repetitive, like he was tracing something underneath his shirt, and Danny got the sinking feeling that he knew just what sort of scar it might be. “I was gone, okay? I was gone, and this body was still here. And they took it, and they cut it open and rummaged around inside to figure out what happened. Which is—” he cut off, sniffed, and Danny gripped his hand tighter “—which is stupid, right? It’s not like it wasn’t obvious.” His fingers twitched, and he continued, haltingly, “I mean, I’ve read the report. Pulled it off his stupid files. The smoke inhalation did me in. After everything that happened, it was the smoke.”

Jasons’ hand pulled out of Danny’s, and they both rose to cover his face, cutting off the glow while he curled in on himself even tighter. His voice was slightly muffled when he said, “And then they had to ship me home, right? So they bled me dry and pumped me full of formaldehyde, and they prettied me up so they could pretend I wasn’t just some empty thing, and Bruce held the tiniest most depressing little funeral known to man and put my ass in the ground, and I had to wake up down there.” His words and his breaths were coming too quick, and Danny didn’t know how to help. He didn’t want Jason to stop, not when it seemed like he needed to say all of this, but he could see just how badly the revenant was hurting.

“But you did wake up,” he whispered.

“Woke up in my own mutilated corpse!” Jason snarled. “Everything I’ve forgotten, and that memory is still crystal fucking clear! It stank in there, like death and vinegar and mud, and it was so small, and I couldn’t even try to scream for help because they sewed my fucking mouth shut—!” He broke off into a sob, and Danny couldn’t stand it anymore, had to lean into Jason’s side and wrap an arm around him as he shook with all the emotion he couldn’t reign in.

“Okay,” Danny said. Not you’re okay, just okay. “Okay, so that’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard, and I regularly hang out with a guy who wants to skin me.”

Jason sniffed. “What?”

“Nevermind. It’s just-”

“No, I think we should go back to the skinning thing-”

“I just don’t want you to let it define you,” Danny interrupted. “I did that. I got into my head about it, the whole ‘being dead’ thing, feeling like I was…” Danny gave himself a second, swallowed, “like some sort of freak. A thing that didn’t belong anywhere. But I’m still alive, and you’re alive, and even if we weren’t, it wouldn’t matter, because we’re still here, and as long as you’re here you can find something that’s worth staying for.” Danny rubbed what he hoped was a soothing pattern into Jason’s admittedly impressive bicep.

Jason let out a sigh. “I must really be pathetic if you’ve gotta pep talk me like that, huh?” he said, and Danny pretended not to see him wiping at his eyes. “Sorry,” he added, “about all this. I’ve got some shit I haven’t dealt with, and this ‘revenant’ stuff brought it up pretty bad.”

“I get it,” Danny said, and hoped Jason could tell how much he meant it.

Jason sighed again, heavy, like he was trying to release something else with his breath, and said, “It still doesn’t make any sense. Logically, I can’t be alive. Where did my blood come from?”

Danny shrugged. “Do you have blood?”

“I definitely have blood. I’ve seen a lot of it.”

That gave Danny pause. “Just like, around?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jason said, deadpan. “I’ve got a surplus, so I like to leave some here and there, make sure everyone gets a chance to appreciate it.”

“I have no idea how much you’re joking and it frightens me,” Danny told him.

“Weak,” Jason replied.

“Anyways, you gotta not think about it too much. The interdimensional goop is already logic-defying, and you’re mixing magic with it with your special soul willpower or something. Your brain will explode if you try to make it make sense.”

Jason huffed a little laugh, bouncing Danny on his shoulder, and this time it made him feel lighter. “Can I just say that I hate that I’m full of interdimensional goop?”

“Valid,” Danny said.

Even without looking at Jason, Danny could tell that he just rolled his eyes by the way the soft green light moved.

Danny had his ear pressed to Jason’s shoulder, feeling his warmth, and if he focused, he could just make out the revenant’s pulse. Personally, Danny thought it was pretty cool to be full of magic and goop and blood. Much cooler than Danny, who was way more science goop than magic goop. They’d have to compare notes on that sometime.

Maybe Jason would come around to it.

[conundrumoftime]

As promised to a few people, the finally finished post about why I enjoy thinking/writing about Celeborn in a Haladriel context. 

[short note to say: this is me, talking about what I personally find interesting/fun. I am not interested in trying to prove anyone else’s likes and preferences right or wrong and I firmly believe that transformative fandom has infinite space for ideas. I won’t be disclaimering every single thing in here with ‘for me!’ and ‘ymmv’ and ‘obviously not everyone’s into this, but personally’ and so on, but the fandom’s been so weird about fandom things lately that I’m adding this here at the start.]

So I am deeply into Haladriel as a ship (this is probably not a huge surprise after two years and 30+ fics). And I’m also really interested in Celeborn, mainly from a books perspective - for now at least! - but also in the potential of him turning up in TROP. And the thing about this is, for me: I can write and chat and think about Galadriel’s relationship with Celeborn without Sauron being much of a factor at all, but when it comes to Haladriel as a show ship it always comes with the spectre of her missing husband there at the back of my mind.

This works great with my general shipping tastes. I don’t care much for love triangles in the traditional ‘heroine must choose between two romantic interests’ sense, but I love ships that get tangled up in each other; I love established relationships being complicated and interesting; I love conflicted feelings and divided loyalties. So it is very much a feature, rather than a bug, to be thinking “but she’s married and the husband’s going to come back at some point, so where does that leave this ship?” Because that’s the fun question: where does that leave this ship? 

When I’m writing Haladriel, Celeborn intrigues me in his absence. I like thinking about what fleeting thoughts Galadriel might have about him, and how that fits in her head with how she’s thinking of Halbrand (before or after she learns who he is). When she describes Celeborn to Theo, her memory of him seems very bound up with her memory of her younger self - they were happy, there was dancing in flowery forest glades, she didn’t really think the war would affect her - and it feels like she’s mourning that younger Galadriel as much as she is Celeborn. 

So how does the idea of feeling close to someone else now, feeling desire for someone else, sit with that? Would she feel guilty? Would she find herself comparing who she is now and who she was then? Does anything she feels for Saurbrand remind her of how she felt about Celeborn - the attraction, the bickering, the sense of being really deeply seen - and is it “this is so different” or “this is disturbingly familiar”? And if it’s the second one, how does she process that with the knowledge that this guy is Sauron? 

And he also intrigues me in his presence, and all the possibilities that creates.

At the moment in TROP canon Celeborn isn’t there. With the exception of Galadriel’s “and my husband” lines to Theo, he isn’t even mentioned. He’s been gone a very long time and it’s unlikely any of the characters we’ve met would have ever even met him other than Galadriel and possibly Círdan (and given that Adar mentioned Melian, possibly him too). Galadriel thinks he’s dead, an entirely reasonable assumption for a soldier who didn’t come back from battles that looked like this:

Which feels like a deliberate echo of the First World War that Tolkien fought in (another one I can think of is the Númenorean volunteer soldiers going off to war through cheering crowds): 

One of the many newly awful things about that war for Tolkien’s generation was the sheer number of the missing, soldiers who were never buried at all or whose graves say ‘Known Unto God’. The Menin Gate memorial to the missing has fifty thousand names; the idea of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier came about after this war, a way to give a grave and a funeral and a ceremony to one soldier who stood in for them all. So the idea of a character who went away to the war and then was never seen again feels fitting.

But the thing is, we know Celeborn isn’t dead. We know he’s going to come back because unlike the characters, we know what happens in LOTR; we know this show’s set up as a prequel; and we know the Tolkien estate has rules in place about how far it’s allowed to diverge from where LOTR ends up, including ‘no killing off characters who don’t canonically die then’, so he’s almost certainly coming back in the show itself. 

So in show canon Galadriel will end up where she ends up in canon-canon. (This is not a show prediction (although I do have those too!), I’m talking about where her story ends up by LOTR). She will have Celeborn back; she will describe him as someone who has stood by her for thousands of years while they have ‘fought the long defeat’ together. And she will be leading the fight against Sauron in a very personal way, stuck in mental warfare with him, ‘ever they strive now in thought’ - and in TROP fic where I’m playing about with that connection as an interpersonal one that goes back to Halbrand, well, what does that mean for her and her returned husband? 

So I like thinking and writing about how those two people and two relationships sit together in her head. I like thinking about how much Celeborn must know about it, three thousand years later. (I joke about Celeborn occasionally being her answering service when she wants some time off from the mind-battle: sitting by her Mirror reading a book with his feet up, saying ’She’s busy just now, please leave a message’, or joining in with the ‘fair as the sea and the sun…’ in a slightly bored tone when Sauron tries to shock him with it. He fell in love with rebellious “I don’t care what the gods say” First Age Galadriel, he knows who he married). 

And for both of these, I find the relationship that TROP has set up for its take on Galadriel and Celeborn to have such potential for playing around with in fic. (Canon might let me down! But there will always and ever be AO3.) Because they’re not the two people they were, so they will to some degree have to get to know each other all over again. How do you reconcile someone who exists to you as a memory with the reality of them back now but changed maybe just as much as you’ve been changed? We know where they started, and we know where they end up, but this whole middle bit of their relationship in TROP canon is hugely uncertain and there are so many intriguing and wonderful ways it could play out. 

And I like thinking about what other angles the presence of Sauron adds to Galadriel and Celeborn’s book interactions, in this take on the story. She calling him “giver of gifts beyond the power of kings”, he calling her his “treasure”, which in his Sindarin would be ‘mîr’ and so could be equally translated as ‘precious’… Because, if he comes back in TROP canon when Sauron is still a very active adversary and antagonist, then they have to rebuild that marriage with his presence as this huge weight that’s just There. What has he been to them both? And where might that go?

[toxycodone]

mouthwashing characters when you’re depressed

ship. tulpar crew x reader cw. sfw + fluff/comfort

an. s/o to @xyfanficarchive for the Daisuke ideas!!!! my muse…

Curly

Oh he gets it. Full understands what you’re going through. (You can’t tell me he isn’t on some sort of anxiety/depression meds or at least got a potential diagnosis).

Curly most likely predicted that a depressive episode was coming. Whatever your key “tell” is: whether you start pulling back, issues sleeping, more nonchalant, appetite changes, it starts setting off bells in his head and he’s prepping.

He doesn’t wanna outright ask “are you depressed?” (He doesn’t know how to approach the subject at first really). So he just acts/reacts accordingly. He makes meals, helps you shower/bathe (he’s not gonna force you every day but if you go 2 or more days without it he’s putting you in there himself).

He even does little things like making sure you wash your face at least once a day and brush your teeth too.

Honestly, he does enjoy taking care of you. I think this is how he’d show he loves you for real. Even when you’re at your lowest you’re worth caring for. (It also distracts from his own issues buuuuut. That’s another story.)

My only qualm is I think he has that “toxic positivity” mindset unknowingly. He’s always like “it’s gonna get better! you need to drink more water/take vitamins/work out!” (these are just things he’s constantly telling himself tbh).

But Curly isn’t stupid. Like he will quickly pick up that’s not working for you and not what you need to hear and shift into a “shut up and help out” mindset. He moves from self help mode to just being there for you. I really have this mental image of him just hugging you on the couch and talking about his day. Sneaking in a few kisses or just giving compliments. But also if you’re not into that he just rubs your back while you bedrot. You’re quiet but enjoying time together and you know he’s there for you.

Jimmy

Been there, done that.

Okay, but seriously. He’s not to pressed at first. He’s basically living between bouts of depression, general neutrality, and mania. So this just seems like an inevitable “phase” you gotta go through.

But this is what makes him the most realistic when dealing with this. Jimmy isn’t gonna baby you or anything. He’s just like “it be like that” forreal. And unlike curly he’s not gonna rebuttal with reasons why life is great and why you shouldn’t be sad, he’s gonna agree. You say life is shit? Yeah, Jimmy 100% agrees. You two commiserate and it’s actually really cathartic because for once someone doesn’t make you feel crazy for being so down when there’s “so much to live for”.

He self medicates when he’s depressed. You’re getting offered pills or alcohol or a blunt or something. Whether you take it is up to you.

I can say Jimmy, for once, would stay sober. If he’s in a good enough mental state he’ll take one for the team and trip sit you or whatever so you can get that nice dopamine rush in peace.

Jimmy thinks it’s insane that he’s doing this, but when you’re depressed, and like really depressed—going through one of those terrible phases he’s been through before, he genuinely feels sympathetic. And it prompts him to do things he never thought. By that I mean doing your laundry, cooking what he can, making the bed. He doesn’t really get why, but he wants to do this and only for you. He really is angry about the fact no one has done this for him when he was in the same boat, but the thought of you having to suffer like he did? Just no. He’s gonna pitch in. He just has to.

But again, he’s best for commiserating. You two bitch heavily about how much the world sucks over way too many beers on his back porch. Probably throw rocks or smash junk while absolutely hammered, too. Then the next morning you’re hungover as shit and spend the day recovering before it’s back to “it is what it is.” Like yeah, it sucks and you feel like shit, but at least you have each other in your corners. If one of you is still kicking, it’s only fair the other is too.

Anya

Like Curly, she knew this was coming a mile away. Anya is not stupid. She’s spent so much time with her nose in psychology books that she gets tipped off insanely fast.

Unlike Curly though, she wants to address the problem. Anya starts gently at first with a simple “are you okay?” It opens the floor for you to be honest. And if you aren’t willing to talk about it or if you mask it with an “I’m fine!” She just. Frowns. Anya does not believe it, but she’s not gonna force you.

Until you start with more textbook symptoms. Then she’s like “I think you might be having a depressive episode.” She’s not letting you dance around it by then. You two are facing this head on.

and the good thing is that you guys talk about it. Like actually talk. Anya listens, lets you say your peace. Nods in understanding and shows you she’s actively taking her time to understand you. Then instead of giving her two cents, she asks you what you want her to do. Anya wants to know how she can help you in the moment and in the long run.

And she does it! Whatever she’s able to, she’s gonna do it. Anya is a really reliable partner and just truly solid. It can be anything from sharing a shower, ordering takeout and chilling on the couch, or even if you just need her to be in the same room but leave you the fuck alone—she’s there for you.

She’s definitely recommending tips from psychology books too. Journaling, eating spicy foods, getting a little exercise if possible—you guys go down a laundry list to help kick this episode in the butt.

And then when the time comes, you two have a good conversation about therapy/medication. (Don’t worry she won’t offer to be your therapist and encourages you to see a neutral third party you can be honest with)

Daisuke

Okay…Daisuke is a bit of a mixed bag. I think he’s been sad, but not truly depressed.

He doesn’t catch the warning signs, so at first when it hits, Daisuke just thinks you’re in a bit of a funk. It’s okay! He’s been through this before. And he’s happy to help you out of it!

Daisuke takes you to the arcade, thrifting, maybe on a little shopping spree…but when that doesn’t work (or when he can’t even encourage you to do it in the first place), Dai hits a wall.

He’s confused. And worried. Really worried about you. This depends on you as a person and whether it makes you feel better or worse, but I think it’s very visible how your depressive episodes affect him. Until he really understands what it is and what it means, Daisuke’s really fretting when this happens.

And so…he voices that concern. “I just noticed that you seem sad. Like, really sad. And I don’t know what to do!” So!! He asks!! What can he do to help you? Or do you even want his help?

And whatever your answer is, he does it. He’ll give you reminders that he loves you, takes care of you, even binges shitty tv shows over even more terrible for you junk food. As long as he can just keep showing he’s there for you and that you’re worth it. That he loves you even when you’re at your lowest…that’s what matters the most.

And just being the goof he is, he’s gonna do things to make you smile. Dancing around the kitchen, showing you his playlist of funny TikToks, cracking some stupid jokes he may or may not have stolen from Twitter. Any time he can crack even a hint of a smile he’s fist pumping and celebrating.

And then…he is probably going to recommend therapy. (He has an awesome adhd therapist he’s working w so. He’s singing the praises for it to you.)

Swansea

Oddly enough I really see him similar to Jimmy. Swansea’s so realistic he’s just like “you’re depressed? Yeah life sucks, so what? You keep going.”

But he’s smart enough to not be like “just get off your ass”. He takes pity on you, whether he likes it or not. Seeing you out of your element does make him upset.

He’s a comiserater, but he’s always going to counter with like “but we keep going anyways.” And if you’re like “but why?” He’s like “why not?”

Like yeah, shit isn’t always good, so you settle for mediocrity. Because the mundane can actually be really nice. Swansea’s a simple pleasures man—good coffee, good food, good times spent relaxing either alone or with the ones you love. That’s what makes it all worth it.

Swansea’s like “you can have your little moments where it all seems like shit, but eventually you gotta face the music and go back to reality.”

He’s a very grounding presence, though. I’ll give him that. He’s also 100% going to cook for you. And you can tell he cares because he has difficulty leaving you alone. He hopes that you seeing him doing stuff. Persisting. That it’ll give you some hope.

and when you start getting more back to normal, showing interest again in your usual hobbies or responsibilities—you can see a weight visibly lift off his shoulders.

[vroombeams]

winter warmers ⛄ day fourteen (read on ao3)

prompts ❅ pillow humping | holiday shopping ship ❅ landoscar words ❅ 444

“D’you suppose I need to get something for Jon?”

It’s not Oscar’s forte, Christmas shopping. She likes it in theory. Or, well. She likes the results in theory. But it’s always just such a pain to find exactly the right thing for exactly the right person, isn’t it? Especially now that she’s got an entirely too bloated bank account, it feels like the pressure’s on tenfold.

“For Jon?” Lando snorts in her ear. “Why are you even thinking about Jon?”

Oscar scowls, setting back the figurine of a shirtless, absolutely yoked Father Christmas. He’s even got a little barbell raised over his head. “No reason,” Oscar says. 

Lando snorts again. She’s agreed to get on FaceTime and stay there while Oscar’s out, moral support and all that. 

“You’re still in the Christmas decor, aren’t you?”

“Yep.”

“Not a great place for gifts, Osc.”

“Well it is Christmas—”

Lando makes a weird little noise. Something rustles, tinny in Oscar’s Airpod. 

“You don’t have to be rude about it,” Oscar mutters, but wanders out of the seasonal department anyway. The housewares section might hit. Linens, or something. People like linens. Her mum likes linens. “Hey, do I need to get your mum a gift?”

Lando makes another sound, distinctly more off-put. “I don’t want to talk about my mum right now,” she says. 

Oscar, in the process of working her hand into a rolled up duvet, halts. Listens. The rustling has gone on. Rhythmic. She’s got her free hand around her phone, in her coat pocket, and she glances around the empty aisle before she goes to pull it out. 

“Girl,” Oscar says. 

It doesn’t have the chastising effect she’s hoping for, really. Lando beams at the camera and shriek-laughs at her, even as she keeps right on rocking her skinny hips down, over and over. From this angle, Oscar can just barely see the pillow between her thighs.

“Girl?” Lando echoes. “You’re not allowed to talk to Logan anymore. Ever. Girl. You have never said girl like that in your fucking life.”

She breaks off to moan, because of course she does.

Oscar’s cheeks burn. “Really couldn’t have waited till I got home, huh.”

Lando rolls her eyes. Her lashes flutter, though, as she grinds down. “I don’t have to do everything with you,” she says, faux-petulant. “I’m strong and indefensive.”

“Independent.”

“Girl, shut up,” Lando says, and then starts laughing again. She’s never going to let that one go, Oscar thinks sullenly. 

“I’m coming home,” Oscar says, wheeling around and bee-lining for the exit.

“Better hurry," Lando says. She moans again, quite showy this time. Jesus Christ. "Chop-chop, girl."

Oscar hangs up on her. 

[brdfcker]

I really dislike stolitz too and feels like it’s being forced into our throats at this point.. the show isn’t about IMP anymore but it’s about a toxic relationship with side characters sometimes . I really miss some of the themes in season 1 where they actually do their job and hunt people

Why even bother making those apology tour and whatever episodes of they’re gonna end up together again ? Ugh 🤦

Also what does self shipping mean?

Ugh, yes! I completely agree!

First of all, I’m sorry for not replying to this sooner, I’ve had some funky things happen recently that has left me sort of down in the dumps. Anywho, I totally level with you on this.

The plot points of the first season have basically been tossed aside. The show now feels like it’s being written by a horny teenager who just discovered Wattpad for the first time. It’s so infuriating! All of the characters - especially the female leads - had so much potential. At this point they’re just figures of glory to boost the dumpster fire of toxic yaoi that has become the focal point of the show. Don’t even get me started on the finale of season two…

For your second part, self-shipping basically just means shipping yourself or a version of yourself with a fictional character! Me personally, I prefer to use my sona or an OC to self-ship, but everyone does it differently. There’s truly no right or wrong way to self-ship!

Thank you so much for your questions! Peace and love :)

[saiintvalentiine]

okay. sorry saiint for spamming your inbox but i am now actually considering horace x wifies. i think theyd actually be cute... could you write horace building something for wifies for free out of his own will this time because he thinks hes cute... this will be my last request i prommy... maybe

i cant keep defending myself against the "makes my mutuals ship weird shit" allegations..............

Word count: 592

Wifies does, in fact, feel incredibly bad for Horace and the builders. The whole payment thing is kind of. . . He’s not sure what to do about that, though. Parrot isn’t easy to convince, even when it’s Wifies doing the convincing, and they really don’t have much of anything right now. There is, though, one thing Wifies can do at least kind of effectively, and that’s baking really good treats. Ken skimmed off the top of this batch of stuffed croissants, but it should still be enough for the whole team. They’re working on the northern side of the island when Wifies finally finds them.

Horace is an easy form to spot, standing on top of a quartz support beam. He lands a few blocks away on the ground level and waves at Horace.

“Hey!”

Horace sees him and waves back, Elytra wings spreading as he hops down.

“Hey, it’s been a minute!”

“It has, sorry about that.”

Wifies digs a shulkerbox out of his inventory and places it down between them with a smile.

“I made ham and cheese stuffed croissants.”

Horace takes two before calling over the rest of his builders, who descend upon the shulkerbox like vultures. Golden carrots are great for healing, but nothing beats actual food in terms of taste.

“Actually, I wanted to show you something,” Horace says around a mouthful. “You got a minute?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

It’s difficult to not start worrying immediately. Horace finishes eating and waves Wifies down a paved path that weaves between buildings and courtyards and flowering trees that shiver with the void cold.

“So I noticed you don’t really like the color palette,” Horace says, scratching his jaw absently.

“I do like it,” Wifies says automatically. “It’s pretty. Regal.”

“White and blue isn’t for everyone.”

“Really, I like it!”

He’s more of a warm, jewel toned guy, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s left everything in regards to the building in Horace’s capable hands, and everything does look wonderful.

“Regardless, I wanted to show you this.”

The stop in front of a building that looks all the same to Wifies. It’s white with a blue roof, but the door is spruce strangely enough.

“Go in.”

Wifies doesn’t get the feeling that this is some kind of trap, but he slides a totem into his hand subtly as he pushes the door open. Nothing happens— of course nothing happens, duh— but he’s surprised by the inside decor. The whole room is warm with candles and lanterns, floor padded with deep violet carpets and walls lined with spruce planks.

“What?” he says dumbly.

“Come on now, enter properly.”

So he does, slipping the totem back into his inventory as he steps in. There's not a lot of space inside, but there’s a kitchen on one end and something like a couch-bed hybrid on the other end. Horace taps the lid of a stack of barrels lightly and grins.

“I wasn’t going to let you be miserable in a Civ I’m building,” he says as Wifies pokes around. “You’re way too nice. So I bothered Ken into telling me what you like.”

“Why not ask Parrot?” Wifies asks, picking up a black pillow and squeezing it.

Horace doesn’t answer. Instead he asks, “Do you like it?”

“I do. Thank you.”

Wifies turns to smile at him, hugging the pillow a little. Horace looks proud, practically preening on the spot.

“Did you just want easy access to my food?” Wifies teases.

“No! I’m chivalrous. I have good intentions.”

Wifies snorts but believes him anyway.

[coffeeviolinist]

Y’know I was staying silent about this before but I’m just going to come out now and say it: the way Azusa is written these days makes it really, REALLY hard to like her.

And that sucks because I used to love her when she was just a fun background character working a minimum wage job who happened to pop up every once in a while. Unfortunately, that isn’t how she’s being written these days.

Sure, she’s still sweet and all. But a big part of her character these days is being Amuro’s not-girlfriend - or, more specifically, how she always has to act all bothered about the fact that people keep shipping her with him. She even said, and this is a direct quote, “if someone like me was seen with Amuro-san, it would be hot gossip all over the internet”.

For one, I find it hard to buy that because a potential relationship between two waiters of all people being gossiped about “all over the internet” is just not something that happens no matter how attractive one of them is. Most people have better things to worry about than whether the people serving them their coffee are dating each other - yes, even high school girls.

For another, and this is really the crux of the matter, if Azusa is actually as bothered as she says about the possibility that people would see her with Amuro and jump to conclusions about them…well, you’d think she would also recognize that there’s an obvious solution, right? All she has to do is not go out in public with Amuro, and she won’t be inadvertently fueling any potential rumors. Problem solved!

Except, well, for all her talk about how she doesn’t want to be shipped with Amuro and how much it bothers her that everyone is supposedly gossiping about her online, Azusa has still gone out alone with Amuro in public multiple times. At this point, it’s honestly starting to make her look like a pick me. She’s starting to feel like one of those girls who talk about how “gross” it is that they keep getting shipped with their guy friend but actually not-so-secretly really, really want everyone to assume they’re dating.

Of course, the Doylist explanation for all of this is that Gosho is just using Azusa as a mouthpiece for a cheap ship bait joke. The problem is that (at least from what it seems) he’s approaching this entirely from a Doylist perspective and isn’t considering how it actually looks from a Watsonian perspective.

It’s probably also his inability to write women coming through yet again. Like yes, of course women and girls are all a bunch of catty bullies who go around saying horrible things about other women on social media for no reason other than the fact that these women have attractive coworkers. It’s not like women have better things to worry about, no, our only concern is competing with each other for male attention 💕. Our one and only goal in life is to be someone’s wife 💕💕💕.

Just. Ugh. Azusa is a perfect example of why some background characters should just stay background characters, especially since Gosho can’t write women for shit.

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 82

Another one that I love!~ Gonna be a lot of those from here on if you couldn’t tell!

Junko’s the Ultimate Fashionista (in the english release at least but hey Ultimate Gyaru has to have a little crossover right??), so of course she handles Mikan’s wardrobe the moment she’s allowed to. So . . . Extremely cute scene of her having Mikan try out clothes to see what she does and doesn’t like. 

An opportunity for Junko to pamper Mikan, AND i get to draw Mikan in a sweater???? Heaven. Also like are we all in agreement that sweaters just look fuckin amazing on Mikan?? Like I admit, I think I just like drawing Sweaters on Mikan but they just make her look so much cuter because of how god damn cozy she looks in em. 

Unfortunately that’s all I have to talk about for that topic? I think? So instead let’s shift over to a recent development involving Junkan!

I’m in the midst of working on the Junkan Christmas Eve comic, which hopefully will be getting posted on time a few days after this, and during the process of making there’s been something new with my current abilities.

I have officially hit the point of proper freehanding on these two.

Y’see this probably won’t make too much sense but i’ll do my best to explain. 

So normally when it comes to sketches I’ve done things a bit less proper compared to more professional artists. I usually get a little start on the anatomy, and then just start sketching all the character details and moving out from there. It isn’t often that I do a full sketch for the basic anatomy of a character, I only do it when I really wanna not fuck up a pose. And as you also know up till now only one piece in this event was drawn normally. Everything else is a sketch that i cleaned up and colored, or just a sketch. 

This is because generally speaking I can’t do art using my normal pen tool without a sketch to work off of, it requires a lot more finesse to use the G-Pen both because of the larger shifts that can occur in line width, and the slightly looser feel it has compared to my Pencil Tool. 

That’s all to say that I have drawn Junko and Mikan so many fucking times that I can just, draw them without proper sketches now. I’m at a point where I just need to draw the head, torso, and legs for an anatomy sketch, and then with the G-Pen I can just, draw from there. That’s big for me personally, and also fucked up because god how even??? There hasn’t been a drop in quality either so far, i’m still able to refine the expressions and i haven’t fucked up with the arms too much yet, I’d even say it’s resulted in some of my favorite Junkos and Mikans period.

Now, the catch is that again, this is only Junko and Mikan. I could prooooobably get to this point with Mukuro eventually just because her design is much simpler compared to other DR Characters? I struggle with getting her colors right rather than linework, but that’s about it and still not really useful in my main line of work unless I memorize every character that’s ever existed, and it took like 150 fucking times for Junkan I can’t do that for an obscure RPG character that I might get commissioned once and then never again. 

It’s also not something that I think i’ll apply to my normal Junkan works, because I am a perfectionist to a fault when it comes to pieces I care about and I want to make sure every detail these is exact. I need to be meticulous for ship art like this, every detail is important. And I can maximize that with sketching.

This new skill is basically useful for one thing. Speed. 

I pride myself on my efficiency, even if I have waned over the years due to burnout and overwork, when I get into it I can fuckin move with my art. And so if I need to say, make a 28 page comic in under a month? Being able to mostly skip an entire phase of the art process is very, VERY useful, ESPECIALLY because it’s a comic. Something which generally takes more time than my normal art by nature of it’s format and what it involves. When making the Comic for Day 60 it was all sketches, which was equally fast but could leave small imperfections at the time that either went under my radar or I just let slide because i was trying to be efficient. 

This is basically perfect for having to speedrun a Junkan comic, it’s all the speed with the usual amount of visual quality.

So in short . . . I’m turning into a nightmarish hell machine but specifically for drawing Junkan. I am genuinely curious how much farther I can go up from here, like, what the hell else could I be capable of with this???? Am I just gonna learn how to fuckin beam the art onto the canvas with my brain???

Moral of the story is just get mind numbingly obsessed with a ship and I guess you’ll get better at stuff??? I have no idea, i’m still kind of processing the comedic value of what this year has been because I was desperate for these two to make out. 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[deathdetermineslife]

any tips on stuff I could do that isn’t ai related? I try to stay away from character ai but it’s getting a little hard since I have an f/o who’s a very minor character so he has no fics about him

I’ve used all the generators, I don’t have any fic ideas right now, I’ve used the picrews and now I’m just really stuck 😔

any tips? You’re like the self shipping expert imo

idk if id say I'm the expert but I do have a huge masterlist of a bunch of stuff you can do with your f/o! I recommend looking through the specific ones even if maybe they don't apply because there's tons of different stuff on each list.

I also of course have all my templates and ask games linked in my pinned :) as for the ask games sometimes I just go through and answer them all. I see tons of people reblog them answering them if you just wanna yap about your selfship or expand lore or whatever.

there's many things on there! like I said skim through em and see if there's anything you wanna do in particular. I tried to do at least 10 bullet points per list!

[fandomsoda]

I know I’m in no way special for this but seeing the bad guys getting along and being cute and fluffy and helping each other heal their trauma and being better companions for each other than any of them have ever had before literally melts me and makes me so happy it hurts and I just- aagsgdgdftdgdhhdgdggdgd

[invisiblearsonist]

underrated supernatural duo — sam and rowena

like come ON. they are actually everything to me.

[dykedvonte]

I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.

Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.

I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.

[read-write-thrive]

the dead boy detective agency main four are a polycule on various points of the aromantic/asexual spectrum (in addition to their various sexualities), with the various side characters playing the roles of parental figures or talking stages. thank you for coming to my ted talk