#this is what undiagnosed ADHD can do to an individual

[69consellationsinatrenchcoat]

Random (sometimes rather specific) system shout outs!

You can totally be more than one <3

And hey, some of these can apply to alters individually, but I'll probably do hyper specific alter shout outs eventually lol

Shout out to systems who like animals but can't be around them for some reason

Shout out to late discovered systems

Shout out to systems who form extremely close friendships or want to but don't have anyone

Shout out to bilingual or multilingual systems

Shout out to trans fem systems

Shout out to enby systems

Shout out to trans masc systems

Shout out to systems who experience gender dysphoria but don't know where they fall on the gender spectrum (or if they do at all)

Shout out to systems who don't give a shit about gender

Shout out to cis systems (cis-tems.. heh)

Shout out to LGBTQ+ systems who don't like labels

Shout out to LGBTQ+ systems who love labels

Shout out to straight systems

Shout out to chronically ill systems

Shout out to systems who adore a particularly obscure fandom

Shout out to sapphic systems

Shout out to achillean systems

Shout out to straight aromantic systems

Shout out to aroace systems

Shout out to systems who can't get diagnosed

Shout out to systems diagnosed with PSTD

Shout out to systems with small head counts

Shout out to systems with lots of fragments

Shout out to questioning systems

Shout out to undiagnosed systems

Shout out to autistic and ADHD systems

Shout out to polyam systems

Shout out to systems that use mobility aids

Shout out to systems over the age of 25 (y'all are NOT appreciated and talked about enough in this community)

Shout out to systems that developed chronic illness due to their trauma

Shout out to systems who experienced disassociation their entire life and didn't understand it

Shout out to systems who can't/don't want to date

Shout out to systems who despise mirrors

Shout out to systems who are at or are going to university or tertiary study

Shout out to systems in the trades

Shout out to systems who can't work, either temporarily or permanently

Shout out to systems who are 'out' about being a system

Shout out to systems who love literature, film and art

Shout out to creative systems (whether that's visual art, dance, music, writing or anything else!)

Shout out to systems who will never tell anyone that they are a system

Shout out to systems with a bunch of littles

Shout out to systems with no/few littles

Shout out to systems where their main fronters don't match the shared bodies age

Shout out to systems who need a nap

Shout out to systems who struggle with being vulnerable

Shout out to systems who overshare and then immediately forget what they said

Shout out to systems with hidden alters

Shout out to systems who are insecure about their headcount

Shout out to systems still in abusive or unsafe situations

Shout out to systems who like "kids'" media

Shout out to systems who carry a safety item (whether that's a sensory fidget or a teddy bear or anything else)

Shout out to systems who struggled in school

Shout out to systems where their favourite fandom became unsafe

Shout out to systems who like chickens

Shout out to systems who can't drive

Shout out to systems who work full time

Shout out to systems who like dragons

Shout out to systems who related a little too much to Inside Out and/or Inside Out 2

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Hyacinthus Iceberg Meme EXPLAIN (P2)

Part 1 ✿ Part 2 ✿ Part 3 ✿ Part 4 ✿ Part 5

It's time for me to answer your questions about this Hyacinthus iceberg meme. There is a lot to tackle, so I'll divide it into 5 parts for the sake of my sanity.

Quick disclaimer: I am NOT an expert in Greek mythology, just a fan of Hyacinthus who wants to learn about him and anyone related to him. Most of the things I'm about to discuss are just theories and speculations of a passerby on the Internet, so do not take them as valid facts!

Apollo x Hyacinthus x Cyparissus

This OT3 has one painting made by Alexander Andreyevich Ivanov, but it's enough to convince me they are canon.

What's interesting about Hyacinthus and Cyparissus is that they are also pursued by Zephyrus, and the flower/tree they transform into after death represents mourning and sorrow.

"A young Lakonian [Hyakinthos] shook Zephyros; but he died, and the amorous Wind found young Cyparissus a consolation for Amyklaian Hyakinthos." - Nonnus, Dionysiaca

"[Apollo to Cyparissus] And the God, groaning with sorrow, said, 'You shall be mourned sincerely by me, surely as you mourn for others, and forever you shall stand in grief, where others grieve.'" - Ovid, "Metamorphoses"

Apollo x Hyacinthus x Boreas

I used to talk about this OT3 before. It's interesting because, unlike Zephyrus, Boreas seems fine with Hyacinthus dating Apollo and even dated Apollo before.

There aren't any paintings or ancient literature written explicitly about their relationship. It's more of an "if you think about it" thought.

(I won't discuss Apollo & Boreas because we will get off track, but there is a post about them for anyone interested!)

Hyacinthus' death symbolizes the vegetation wilted under the summer heat

Since Hyacinthus is assumed to be a pre-Hellenic nature god, and Apollo is the god of sunlight, we can piece together that Hyacinthus dying by Apollo is the metaphor of the plants dying under the scorching sun. This is why I said in Part 1 that Zephyrus killing Hyacinthus is a later version, and I'll say his present will ruin the myth. Having Zephyrus (the wind) as the "real" culprit will erase the original symbolism of the sun killing the plants.

(Sorry for hating you all this time, Zeph. You are in the clear now.)

Back to the main point.

Georg Friedrich Schömann seems to coin this theory in his book "Griechische Alterthümer" (1855), or he's only popularizing an existing theory. At least, that is the reference I get from the two of the sources I read.

(Hellenica World, "Hyacinthia")

(Michael Pettersson, "Cults of Apollo at Sparta: The Hyakinthia, the Gymnopaidai, and the Karneia")

Pettersson's essay also mentions G. F. Unger, another author who supports the theory.

Or we can take a step further and say this myth is about one god usurping another. As I said, Hyacinthus is a god worshipped in Amyclae long before the arrival of Apollo, so it's not a stretch to say his death at Apollo's hands also metaphorizes his cult getting replaced by Apollo's cult. It's the same as Apollo killing and replacing the Python as the patron of Delphi.

(Damian Pierzak, "The Case of Apollo and Hyacinth in the 'Second Tetralogy' Attributed to Antiphon")

However, there is one thing that I haven't understood.

In the myths, once Apollo killed the Python, he took over the Delphin temple for good. But in the case of Hyacinthus, Apollo is said to mourn Hyacinthus greatly and later revive him from death. He even shared the Hyacinthia festival and Amyclean shrine with Hyacinthus, with his statue built on top of Hyacinthus' tomb)

Is there a historical event that made the people worship both gods together instead of replacing one with another? Or are Apollo and Hyacinthus' joint worship an eventual thing? We'll never know for sure.

Hyacinthus is resurrected + Hyacinthus represents the death and rebirth cycle of nature

Hyacinthus' resurrection is like the hidden ending most people are unaware of, but it's a thing. No, we are not making it up because there are legit records and studies about it.

(Pausanias, "Description of Greece")

(Nonnus, "Dionysiaca")

(Angeliki Petropoulou, "Hyakinthos and Apollo of Amyklai: Identities and Cults A Reconsideration of the Written Evidence")

From here, we can assume that Hyacinthus' death and resurrection is the allegory for the cycle of plant life and death, like how Persephone descending to and ascending from the Underworld is the allegory for season change.

However, I only draw this conclusion from mythology blogs. Few ancient poets and professional scholars seem to talk about this theme of Hyacinthus.

As of now, I've only got these two sources that slightly discuss it:

(Ovid, "Metamorphoses")

Ovid's version is debatable because Hyacinthus still remains dead in his story. We can argue that Hyacinthus still "lives on" in the form of the flower, but it won't align with Hyacinthus' resurrection in the myths.

(Damian Pierzak, "The Case of Apollo and Hyacinth in the 'Second Tetralogy' Attributed to Antiphon")

Again, Mr. Pierzak cites Ovid's retelling when he mentions the "Hyacinthus is connected to nature's rebirth" theory.

I'm still looking for more accounts (both from ancient Greek and scholarly research) where Hyacinthus is fully revived and symbolizes the plants' cycle. If anyone has anything, please let me know! I would love to read more!

The Hyacinthia festival

The Hyacinthia festival is confirmed not only in mythology but also in history.

(Michael Pettersson, "Cults of Apollo at Sparta: The Hyakinthia, the Gymnopaidai, and the Karneia")

(Pausanias, "Description of Greece")

Until now, people are still studying about this ancient festival.

(Angeliki Petropoulou, "Hyakinthos and Apollo of Amyklai: Identities and Cults A Reconsideration of the Written Evidence")

I will talk about the Hyacinthia's rituals, practices, history, etc., but then we'll be here until next summer. So, I recommend everyone check out this post made by a Paganist for a deeper study.

TO BE CONTINUED

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

So. I just failed out of my masters program, because Reasons. (Ultimately, it came down to not being about to handle A Lot of Real Life and grad school at the same time). Do you have any words of reassurance when it comes to trying again?

Sure! The thing with situations like this is that you don't ask yourself 'What did I do wrong?' Instead, ask yourself 'What did I learn?' It's much more constructive and much more likely to actually result in useful life developments

In this case... what did you learn? You clearly had a rough time of things, so be specific. What was helpful? What wasn't? What would have been?

I failed my first attempt at a degree, back in the day, thanks to a combination of a bunch of family deaths and also undiagnosed ADHD. When it came to trying again, a few years later, I had to sit down and work out where the barriers were for me, and what I could do to overcome them. In my case, it's absolutely imperative, if I study academically, that I aim for 100%, and that I set my own early deadlines for every assignment. If I let myself aim for 'good enough', I start leaving things until the last minute, phoning things in, missing lectures... and then I fail.

But I also need to study part time. Full time study rushes me too much, and makes me phone it in, which as mentioned, is very bad for me. All of my subsequent study has been part time, and I've done much better with it.

So in your case, what would have helped? It's individual to everyone, but be honest with yourself. Would part time study have helped? Extra time on deadlines? A dedicated workspace? Working with the student support system sooner/more closely? These are things you can plan for when you try again. I never tried accessing student support the first time around, and who knows, maybe they'd have been shit. But I now know as a lecturer that they should have been my first port of call.

But I think the biggest thing I can tell you is that, sometimes, it just wasn't the right time in your life to try it, and that's okay, because it doesn't mean it's not right for you at all. Life is a series of peaks and troughs. Sometimes it turns out you were in a trough. That's going to be a challenging time to attempt post grad study! But a few years later you're out of the trough, and suddenly it's all much easier.

Don't be afraid of trying again. You didn't fail through lack of ability. You just need to work out the conditions that will work for you, that's all. Best of luck with your next turn on the merry-go-round, and please try not to let this hit your self esteem too badly.

[leebrontide]

I think, someday, people are going to understand the value of stories about disability. Not just stories about disabled people, which may or may not be about disability (both are 1000% useful and valid) but books that really interface with disability and ableism.

Because almost all of us are going to end up with some degree of disability sooner or later. And a LOT of us are walking around with disabilities without realizing it.

People think of disabilities as yet another all-or-nothing binary. That "real" disabled people are obvious and helpless and have nothing to give to others. That "nondisabled" people should be able to meet every expectation that the person next to them can meet, or they're "lazy" or "not trying".

It messes people up! This insistence that unless you have one of a small number of acceptable disabilities you're "fine" and should be highly consistent and functional all the time. It makes people push away help that would benefit them, because they're afraid of being one of those useless burdensome disabled people, and because they're afraid of the censure of others.

Ableism hurts everyone.

And, frankly, health and ability are always temporary conditions.

I hate that when I say my books are about disability too many people think about cheesy after school specials where highly unrealistic children learn to accept a classmate in a wheelchair as being really just like them after all. That's not what it's about.

Disability stories are about consent, and bodily autonomy, and interdependence, and ambiguity, and change, and trauma, and shame, and pride and helplessness and strength and systems and families and individuals.

There have always been disabled people. There will always be disabled people. Disabled people can be in any genre, with a wide array of abilities.

Because disabled people are normal.

But we ignore so many types of disabilities because of that damn binary, and the shame, fear, and derision of ableism.

My books have/will have characters with: limb loss, chronic pain, chemical dependence, ADHD, autism, depression, PTSD, undiagnosed chronic health problems, deafness, intermittent mobility issues, traumatic brain injuries, dyslexia, eating disorders, reduced vision from age, a stoma, as well as more shit that I made up because my world-building demanded it. Sometimes the story is about the disability, sometimes it's not. But all of these characters relate to each other in a way influenced by their own experience of not being able to get their brain or body to do what they wanted or needed it to do.

Everyone's abilities and disabilities influence how they view the abilities and disabilities of others.

And that's good stories. Stories that are satisfying to read and full of themes worth exploring.

It wasn't that long ago they people got sniffy about stories about queerness. Now we understand why those stories are valuable and also just enjoyable to read. We need the same thing for stories about disability.

Anyways if you want, or make, stories of disability, lmk.

[the-freckled-collective]

Diagnosis???

So I started the process with a clinical psychologist to get a diagnosis. Issue is she was transphobic and unprofessional and just not great (and lying about her credentials). My actual therapist was wildly upset and felt terrible. We haven’t decided on next moves yet if i should try to go forward anyways or not, because it seems like the CLP may literally only diagnose me with adhd and nothing else because she refused to listen to me talk about DID, but ADHD was mentioned in passing and she suddenly made the entire appointment about that??

Anyways. So

The thing is, my real therapist who I fucking adore, won’t clinically diagnose me because she can’t do the assessments (she isn’t trained) and so she doesn’t feel comfortable right now doing so. (But she is taking the assessment classes because of me, so in 2-3 years no matter what she can😂) But she said I hit the score on the DES (which she comfortably can use) and I fit all of the criteria for OSDD/DID and she genuinely believes me. She’s even working with us as alters individually and she also has seen us switch.

What I’m trying to convince myself of, does this count enough as a diagnosis? I want a diagnosis to validate me because I have issues with believing myself. She can’t clinically diagnose me due to her own comfort, but she has essentially medically recognized me.

Would you all consider this a diagnosis?

(I am only asking as a way to validate my own thoughts. Not as a diagnosis. Just as a way to quell my concerns and validate myself so I can get some relief and stop trying to gaslight myself.)

Tl;dr

Basically medically recognized, undiagnosed due to therapist not having done assessment courses and no clinical psychologistswho can test in the area: does this count as diagnosis?

[atarahderek]

Today on: INFP or ADHD?

Perspective taking

I get weekly bonus traits from Genomelink, and this week's trait is as follows:

I find this to be accurate to me. I can see things from others' viewpoints, but that's a skill I had to learn. It does not come naturally to me. So I have to consciously remind myself to slow down and listen, and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

Believe it or not, that is an Fi thing (ftr, I call it "eff-aye," not "fie" or "fee").

Or possibly a neurodivergent thing.

Let me explain...

Fi is kind of self-centered.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) is an analytical function, but what it analyzes are emotions and emotional experiences. Especially in the user. It is the idealism function and has its own idea of how the world should be. It is the moral core function. It is the function that makes the user adhere firmly and stubbornly to their own identity. It does not like compromise, especially on what it perceives to be a moral issue. The Fi-dom in particular has their worldview set in stone by a certain age and they'll be darned if they so much as entertain someone else's. This is why we're kind of easy to offend. Pick on us directly and we'll take it because we value harmony and being able to control our own emotions (we save them for when we want to write you as a character in our stories and then brutally kill that character off). But attack some person, ideal or issue near and dear to our hearts and we'll fly off the handle. And often it does not matter whether that attack is coming from pain or how calm and respectful your argument is. All we see is the attack itself and we lash out. We have to learn not to do this.

Contrast Ti, which is analytical on all fronts and will take an interest in other perspectives purely because they exist. Or Fe, which hears out the other side because it literally cannot do anything else. As the empath function, it feels what the other person is feeling the moment the user is in close proximity to the other person. And it seeks to know more about the source of that feeling so that it can manipulate it to its advantage (Fe can be devious). So for Fe/Ti users, perspective taking comes as naturally as breathing.

So the fact that perspective taking is not an inborn skill for me is definitely the result of my dominant Fi. Unless it's actually the result of ADHD. Because...

ADHD has rejection and anger management issues.

People with ADHD tend to have short tempers compared to neurotypicals. This is because the ADHD brain can be overwhelmed with too much information due to limited working memory (the RAM of the brain) and a deficit in the hormone dopamine which is required to motivate the brain to get to work processing information. This causes the individual to lash out in an attempt to get the flow of information to slow down, organize itself or cease altogether. People with ADHD also internalize all kinds of negative messages about themselves, and that can cause outbursts of anger. When you're angry and overwhelmed with information that you physically cannot process properly, you tend not to listen to people around you. Even if you could focus on what they're saying, you're not going to really hear them when your working memory is overloaded.

ADHD also causes rejection sensitivity. This can create problems in an argument. A person with ADHD can do just fine in a civilized debate. But if the debate becomes a heated argument, ADHD starts to get in the way. The opponent starts to take offense and go on the attack, and that's a clear case of rejection of the other person's viewpoint. This can cause the person with ADHD to either respond in kind and escalate the conflict, or shut down altogether and walk away. Neither response allows the person to hear their opponent's perspective. And it can permanently damage the relationship, as the person with ADHD will often try to avoid the person who rejected their viewpoint so as to avoid a similar conflict.

Undiagnosed neurodivergent people can sometimes be clued into their condition by their inability to consistently practice perception taking. Even if it's a skill they've worked hard to learn, the fact that they still fail at it sometimes can indicate that there's something going on upstairs that's a little more beyond their control than they realize. There may be an underlying cause to your inability to see through another's eyes, and it's not because of some personality flaw.

What do you think? INFP or ADHD?

For my part, I think both my dominant Fi and my ADHD are contributing factors in having to learn and actively practice perspective taking rather than coming by it naturally. I have learned how to do it, and yet I still struggle sometimes to do it when I'm blinded by anger. It's a trap anyone can fall into, but it's definitely something I think the Fi user with ADHD is the most prone to.

[crippl-hacker]

Let's review the manifesto for Cripple Punk again! [Addressing the discourse]

With all of the discourse I see about who is/can identify with Cripple Punk or Cpunk I think it's time to take some time to reaffirm the basics and take some time to shine a spotlight on the Madpunk movement.

You can find the original manifesto here but I copied it down below

principles of cripple punk: -cripple punk is exclusively by the physically disabled for the physically disabled -cripple punk is about solidarity & is open to all physically disabled people -cripple punk rejects pity, inspiration porn, & all other forms of ableism

-cripple punk rejects the “good cripple” mythos. cripple punk is here for the bitter cripple, the uninspirational cripple, the smoking cripple, the drinking cripple, the addict cripple, the cripple who hasn’t “tried everything”

-cripple punk fights internalized ableism & fully supports those struggling  with it

-cripple punk respects intersections of race, culture, gender, sexual/romantic orientation, size, intersex status, mental illness/neuroatypical status, survivor status, etc.

-cripple punk recognizes that there is no one universal disabled experience

-cripple punk does not pander to the able bodied

———————— other rules:

-cripple punk is not conditional on things like mobility aids & “functioning levels”

-always listen to those w/ different physical disabilities & different intersections than yourself. do not speak over them

-disabled people do not need to personally identify w/ the words “cripple” or “punk” individually to be a part of cripple punk

-able bodied people wishing to spread the message may only ever amplify the voices of the disabled

-able bodied people may never use uncensored slurs themselves but never censor our language

-able bodied people must always tag things like reblogs with “i’m able bodied”

-physically disabled people wanting to be a part of the movement who are uncomfortable using the slur may refer to it as “cpunk”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The thing is that there *is* an intersection between mental disabilities and physical disabilities but they are very different in my personal experience. That doesn't mean that one is worse than the other; just that their experiences are very different.

As someone who struggled as an adolescent with Ulcerative Colitis then spent my teenage years struggling with Treatment Resistant Depression, General Anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and Bipolar Type 2, followed by my twenties being taken over from having to deal with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder and GI issues again I have experience with both sides of the coin.

As a teenager my mental disabilities ruined my life. I struggled with motivation, suicidal ideation, hygiene, classwork and more. I found it hard to get out of bed most days. I struggled with insomnia. I failed half my classes freshman year due to undiagnosed depression. I cannot go to some places due to the loud noises, bright lights, and more that cause sensory issues.

What I have found to be useful for my mental disabilities is Madpunk. It actually talks about ways to cope with my mental issues and solutions. It talks about the negative and positive impacts of psychiatry.

However dealing with my physical disabilities is a completely different game. I have to think about whether public events will be accessible to me if I am using my rollator or a wheelchair. I get harassed by strangers for having a disability placard. I have to gauge my stamina and weigh the cost/benefits of going shopping. I am constantly using the bathroom - missing class time. Some days I cannot physically move out of my bed due to the amount of pain I am in. It can take me days to recover if I push myself past my limits. Sometimes my knees give out on me and I collapse.

Both my mental illness and physical illness have left me bed bound before - but the experiences are completely different. The treatment for mental and physical disabilities are different. The overlap of having a physical disability and then getting a mental disability is very common.

The cripple punk movement accepts the intersection between physical disability and mental disabilities. The definition of able-bodied is not having a physical disability. But if you only have mental disabilities and are able bodied there is space for you in the Madpunk movement. Mental Disabilities can be just as debilitating as Physical Disabilities - that is not in question. Just please don't be trying to take up space in a movement where we want to focus on our physical disabilities.

The Madpunk movement is under recognized and more people should help join in and further their cause. There is so much good discussion happening there - please go check it out! Talk about your personal experiences and help develop more theory.

The end message is that all disabled people are harmed by our current system. There should be more accommodations for mental disabilities. We need to focus on uplifting all of us rather than fighting each other and missing the real enemy.

[godlesshasideas]

Writing About Disabilities: ADHD

Here we go again.

When writing about anything you are not personally familiar with, research is your best friend. Don't use this post as a catch all and think it's all you need to write characters with ADHD. This is far from all the information about it, but it's a starting point.

Here's some basic information that I have found and I've also included some of my own experience since I have ADHD, which is at the bottom of this post. (Just as a note I won't always do things I have personal experience with. These are just the ones I feel comfortable sharing first.)

Information regarding ADHD

As most people know, ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. It's a neurological disorder that impacts many various things but mainly an individual's focus (both ability and where that focus is). Many people with ADHD usually are focused on something but they don't have control of where that focus is. The biggest example of this is in school settings (which often leads kids to be diagnosed) where they're in the classroom and even though they hear the teacher giving instructions they can't help but focus on what's happening outside or the posters on the wall, etc.

There are various types of ADHD and they have been updated by the DSM. It was once separated as ADHD and ADD, which pretty much meant you had A or B, which doesn't really work neurodivergence because every brain works differently and everyone has their own experience (it's a spectrum). There are now three types and they luckily aren't as cut and dry: Predominantly Inattentive, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive, and Combined Presentation. It's also important to note that presentations can change over time but it's always just ADHD. Source: CDC

Some more in-depth information:

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder | NIMH

Living with ADHD | Coping Strategies | ADDitude

Data and Statistics About ADHD | CDC

Things to Consider about the character you're writing:

When was your character diagnosed? Also, how did they go about this diagnosis process? While this may seem like some simple questions, the answer does contribute to your character's story and identity. Was it part of their K-12 years? If so, what part? Was it when they got to college? Were they never diagnosed until a friend/family member pointed it out to them? Are they still undiagnosed? You should look into the experiences people have shared online about their diagnosis because it may be helpful for creating your character.

Do they have other forms of neurodivergence? Many neurodivergent people have more than one diagnosis in neurodivergence. For example, there's a lot of overlap with ADHD and Autism. So much so, that there's a unofficial term for it: AuDHD. This term is unofficial in the sense that it was developed by the community for the community rather than medical professionals. If your character has multiple diagnoses, how do those diagnoses interact with each other?

*Also, be aware of statistics. It's been proven over and over again that women or AFAB people are less likely to receive a diagnosis for ADHD (they're more likely to be diagnosis with anxiety, depression or OCD; all of which can be contributed to ADHD)

My Experience with ADHD

I decided to create a section to share my experience just because of how much it's apart of my daily life. I've obviously had ADHD all my life but I wasn't diagnosed until my first/second year of high school. The reason for this is because I was "good in school" and wasn't "jumping off the walls". I was good in school because I was hyperfixated on academics and academia. I wasn't jumping off the walls with energy because I was constantly masking, because now as I have gotten older and more comfortable, those high energy symptoms are more apparent.

I didn't take ADHD medication for a very long time because I thought I was managing just fine. I actually requested medication a few months back (before my third year of university). Turns out I was not managing just fine. I was constantly procrastinating and leaving things to the last minute. I was relying on the pressure of a looming deadline. I was also in a constant state of executive dysfunction when that deadline wasn't there (like with household chores). Imagine my surprise when I'm suddenly able to work on tasks without pressure of a deadline or pressure of failure.

As a funny little note, whenever I spoke to healthcare professionals and I told them I had ADHD or they saw it in my chart, they would be shocked/surprised by the fact I was unmedicated. Another funny note, when I spoke with my psychiatrist about being put on an ADHD medication, he was like "I was wondering when this would happen" like sir??? lmao

**Once again, always do more research. Do not use this post as all you need. Anytime you write something or create a character that has something you aren't familiar with, you need to take the time to learn about it. Research Research Research!

[steakout-05]

i was ranting to myself in a really disorganised fashion just now about how Barry has ADHD and like. dude. he absolutely has it. there's no way he doesn't. i myself am an undiagnosed ADHDer and i see so many traits in Barry. like.

in the rock opera 'The Very Last Minute', Barry spends the entirety of it procrastinating on training for the monster apocalypse and literally having almost every trait of ADHD ever. like when i watch this video and see Barry legitimately trying to do what he needs to but repeatedly getting stuck in a loop of jumping from task to task and struggling at actually get started on The Big Task™, i see me. like. that is me.

Barry tries to train. he really does. he really does try to take a crack at it, but he just can't focus on it. he just keeps getting distracted by it over and over and avoiding what he needs to do with other little tasks to keep him occupied at every single moment. and like he knows he really needs to do it. he knows that it's super important that he gets started on it as soon as he can. in fact, there are several lyrics to this effect: "Gotta keep focused, gotta keep training, but I just can't seem to stop procrastinating" and "I should probably stop working on this rocking theme song" are a couple that come to mind. but for whatever reason, he just can't focus on it properly and it ends up with him looking like he's "lazy" or "not putting in the effort". like, you see him get exhausted by doing a single skiprope jump, and that is how i feel whenever i try to do a big task when i'm not ready for it or focused at all. it's really really heard to focus on something that seems so big and overwhelming when you have ADHD, so you often kind of try to avoid it and ignore it because it's super daunting by doing smaller tasks. the difference between executive dysfunction and perceived laziness is that if you were being lazy, you wouldn't care and would likely be having a great time slacking off, even when you are reminded of the task at hand. but with executive dysfunction, you can forget about it for a while, but deep inside you likely still care and know you NEED to get the task done soon, and when you're eventually reminded or suddenly remember, you feel a crushing sense of dread. at least, that's how it is for me. and all the excessive task switching and getting everything else done except The Big Task™ you need to get done the most? i do that! i do that!!!

Barry literally does the ADHD thing where he sets an alarm that tells him to do what he needs to do, but the thing is that he was already doing something else on his phone beforehand and presumably forgot about the alarm, so when the alarm goes off, he just feels like he suddenly can't and that it's way too daunting to actually start because it feels like an intrusion. like. that's the ADHD thing!!! he's doing it!!!! he's doing the ADHD thing!!!!! his executives are NOT functioning!!!!!!

Barry also shows a lot of ADHD traits in 'Rainbow Barry' as well, as they're the most prominent in that specific short. in fact, he shows literally every single inattentive trait in all of the shorts together. impulsiveness, distractibility, impatience, forgetfulness, commitment issues, not following instructions properly, he's even got the emotional problems that come with it like being easily angered and frustrated. he EVEN shows the same traits in the JJ2 event dialogues!!! like!!!! look at the dialogues on the JJ wiki and tell me he isn't having ADHD traits!!!!! bro is clearly showing each individual ADHD symptom in everything he's in and either no one is noticing it or no one is talking about it and i'm just SO obsessed with this headcanon/theory of mine. Barry Steakfries is an undiagnosed ADHDer and nobody can convince me otherwise

[story-book-sillies]

Having complicated emotions about my possible neurodivergency again

I just wish I could at least get tested to see if I have ADHD because I just want to know if my years of research and analyzing my brain means anything. Because I don’t want to self diagnose. But I just know something is up with my brain and I don’t know what it is

If I don’t get a diagnosis, then I’ll never know and I’ll never get the resources I need or the community of other neurodivergent individuals (in the case that I do have ADHD or something else) but if I do get a diagnosis and end up being neurodivergent, I’ll be shamed by my family and end up alone in that way. So I don’t win in either situations

And I know I can use resources if they help make my life easier, but I feel like such a fraud like, “Oh look at this loser, she’s using resources for people with ADHD and Autism even though she’s undiagnosed, I bet she’s just faking it.”

I don’t want to be unfair to those who do actually need help but I also feel like I need help with nobody to help me and I’m lost and scared and frustrated and confused and hghhghhjgfhhnn

[musingsofanaroace]

Realizing I was Agender

When did I realize I was agender?

I've never encountered this thing called gender. I was three or four years old when I fist realized that the gender binary confused me. I didn't innately feel like a girl nor did I innately feel like a boy. I always felt like I was just a person, an individual, a homo sapiens. I didn't understand why girls were supposed to like "these things" and boys were suppose to like "those things". To me, toys and clothes didn't have a gender assigned to them. I played with toys that I liked and dressed in clothes that made me feel comfortable. Disregarding the fact that my undiagnosed AuDHD made school and social situations a bit challenging, I had a pretty happy and carefree childhood.

Then, at ten years old, my idyllic world came crashing down upon my head when I learned about puberty. Even though I knew better, I was convinced that I would never get a period or grow boobs. For I knew that I wanted to remain gender neutral in appearance for the rest of my life. Essentially, I wanted people who looked at me to think, "Oh, no! Male? Female? I don't know which one you are."

When I got my first period at eleven, I was in denial. It took hours for my madre to convince me to use a sanitary product. And to this day, I still feel uncomfortable buying them at the supermarket. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to worry about it anymore.

And then came the boobs. And when the boobs came, gender dysphoria really dug its talons into me. I remember crying in the shower and trying to push the breast tissue back into my chest.

At fifteen, I came up with a term to describe my experience: nongender as in "no gender detected".

When did I discover the term agender?

In the last year of university, while doing an essay for a composition class, I came upon the word agender in a psychology journal, and it resonated with me strongly. And from that day, I have used this term to describe my gender identity.

Note: I don't remember when I learned that agender fell under the trans nonbinary umbrella. And it was only recently that I heard an agender person say that it could fall under the aspec umbrella as well.

For me, my agender identity definitely falls under the trans nonbinary umbrella. But for someone like Ace Dad Advice, it falls under the aspec umbrella. Which umbrella an agender individual falls under will depend on that agender individual.

When did I learn about top surgery?

While at university, I read Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg for a queer literature class.

It was a revelation to me that I could remove the lumps from my chest that caused me such intense dysphoria. From that moment, I knew that I wanted top surgery.

What was my coming out experience?

In high school, I told my best friend that I had no gender, and he just accepted it. My parents never really understood it, but they do hold many liberal beliefs and accept the fact that people experience life differently than they do. For them, all that matters is that I'm happy and healthy. I haven't told my other family members because I know they wouldn't accept it.

Which pronouns do I use?

I use they/them pronouns.

Do I get misgendered?

Yes, it happens all the time. I even got misgendered in the ASD and ADHD reports even though the doctors had stated in the first paragraph that I use gender neutral pronouns. I even got misgendered in the author biography of my self published novel Secrets Within because the cover designer refused to respect my pronouns.

When I get misgendered in my everyday life, I politely correct them. Sometimes they respect my pronouns and sometimes they don't. When someone continually misgenders me on purpose, I simply cut them out of my life, for I don't need toxic people around me.

After all, using my correct pronouns isn't that difficult. It's not rocket science; it's basic English grammar. Repeat after me, "You can use they/them pronouns in the third person singular." Also, I have the Merriam-Webster dictionary on my side. It states that the word "they" can be used for nonbinary people.

And this concludes how I realized I was agender. If you have anything to add, please leave it in the comments. Until next time, take care and stay curious.

[cypanache]

Hi! What are some of your favorite Obidala headcanons?

So true confession time? I'm terrible with head canons. Or at least I feel like I am? Not sure. But if I reframe it as 'commonalities' in how I approach the characters in my writing, I can give you a few. Hopefully this is sort of what you're looking for ...

There was something between them first -- So far at least almost every Obidala story I've constructed, whether published or not, has an element where Obi-Wan and Padme met/connected first. Exactly what that connection looks likes varies greatly, but it's pretty universally there in my story telling and often a pivotal element of how they relate to each other. The only exception to this might be the Manny AU. I'm pretty sure they didn't meet in that one ... but stay tuned. (Interestingly this doesn't apply to my obianidala stuff ... don't know why)

They love Anakin -- This feels sort of obvious, but I'm still going to say it because it's so universal to how I write them and how they relate to each other. Much like point one the nature and character of that love and its impact on them is highly variable depending on the piece, but its so integral to both their characters and their relationship that "placing Anakin' in the piece is almost always on the first things I do when I'm spinning a story in my head.

They Fight -- My obidala can go at it. They're not mean, but they are principled and passionate and do not always see eye to eye. The result being ... they fight. Sometimes its just light sparring, but they can and do tear great gaping chunks out of each other because in many ways they see each other as strong enough to take it and trust each other enough to be honest in a way I don't think either quite manages with Anakin. But sometimes that honesty is ... explosive.

Their sexuality is flexible -- I rarely use labels in my writing or my tagging partly because I don't feel comfortable that I will use them correctly, but moreso because its not important enough to the overarching storyline to feel like a valid or necessary tag. But in my head both Obi-Wan and Padme are people who can and do become sexually attracted to the personality/spirit of an individual first and their physical qualities second. And that translates to having no strong preference as to gender when choosing a partner. I tend to write Padme as being more physically passionate and driven by a desire for that kind of intimacy and connection, where my Obi-Wan is a little more 'neutral'. He can and does enjoy sex, he's had it, and will have a one night stand if he feels a connection, or 'companionable' sex with a good friend (I have a scene upcoming in Trap with Quinlan that speaks to that as part of their history). But he's really not driven by it. He won't seek sex out for the sake of sex alone. What turns him on is the emotional connection. So the man could go months or even years and simply not have sex just because he had other things to do and there was really no opportunity he found that interesting.

Padme has undiagnosed ADHD -- So this is a very closely held personal head canon that I hesitate to share, but the more I work with Padme the more I feel like it fits. She's capable of amazing things. Principled and indefatigable are words that were coined for her. And yet some of her choices seem to make no sense. That impulsivity combined with her almost hyper fixation on Anakin and saving him. Then there's that incredible duality in RotS where she can feel competent and controlled and commanding in her professional world and yet at the slightest indication of Anakin's displeasure in her home life she seeks to soothe. That rejection sensitivity, along with that inability to truly understand/face that the 'someday' they've been trying to put off has come due ... that all feels very true to my lived experience/struggles, and while I'll probably never put it central to a story, those elements and character traits certainly inform some of how I write her.

Bail Organa is the #1 obidala shipper -- that man is such a stan ... really one of the very first things I wrote for Trap was to take the exchange between Obi-Wan and Bail in the cave during OWK and spin it with the idea that Bail knew about him and Padme ... it actually works pretty well. But seriously, if Bail shows up in my stories, I can guarantee you he will be pro-obidala

[unnervinglyferal]

I just randomly started thinking about how school totally fucked me up

Like I only went those like 2 years because I wanted friends

Bad decision

School just gave me more anxiety, depression, self esteem issues, trust issues, and to top it all off it gave me another bad friendship

School did not do anything new but it sure as hell just compounded everything

Like for some reason I got totally obsessed with the spelling tests

Not all of my grades, although I would absolutely hate it when I got below certain numbers in my grades, but specifically the spelling tests

I would memorize them perfectly because I had to get 100% on them

Of course that was completely unsustainable for a kid with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD

After one instance in which I cheated on one word to get the perfect grade I completely stopped giving a shit about the spelling tests

Of course by then I’m pretty sure I was dealing with the spawn of satan and her bitchy lackeys so that probably had something to do with it

Also the last few weeks of school were ass

I start public school at 3rd grade and lasted till the beginning of 5th

Not enough to count as 3 years though

My fifth grade teacher was a condescending bitch who gave zero shits about the 504 plan I had, punished everyone for one persons mistake, and the offense that personally offends me the most

OUR FUCKING SCIENCE HOMEWORK WAS DRAWING FUCKING BACTERIA, NOT EVEN SCIENTIFIC ONES JUST COLORFUL BLOBS, AND THE TEST THAT CAME WITH IT ASKED WHAT A FUCKING MICROSCOPE WAS

Okay that sounds like dogshit. In Finland public school is more or less mandatory, but at least it's mostly not bullshit and decent quality. The only exception that I can name being religions classes for kids who are not christian. Whatever you had to put up with was clearly a completely different animal.

Also I'm pretty damn sure that punishing a whole group for one person's mistake is just the indirect method to make the rest of the group punish that individual any way they deem necessary. The classic law-abiding "I am legally not allowed to beat the shit out of you, but now that I've ensured that the rest of this group hates you, I'm going to look the other way for 15 minutes."

[doin-just-fine]

!! System Introductions !!

We are at a spot where we feel comfy enough officially introducing everyone! We'll dive into who everyone is, what they do, and what their experiences are in the system to provide insight to other questioning systems!

Welcome to our system!! We have a collective system name but is based on our host's real name and they aren't comfortable sharing that information yet so here you can refer to us collectively as:

✨ The Super Fine System ✨

We are a median system as of now because that is the best label we have found and we think we formed due to our neurodivergence (we have diagnosed ADHD and undiagnosed autism) making us a neurogenic. There are possible other origins but nothing is clearer than the struggles we've had our whole life that came with our neurodivergence. We don't really understand how the different consciousness identities work so we don't really use them. Let's get into who everyone is and how we work!!

Name: DoinFine (wants to be anon online for now) Emoji: 🛸 (flying saucer) Age Slide: 23~19 Pronouns: They/Them Star Sign: Virgo Identity: Queer and Non-binary Time of Origin: Birth I guess lol Role: Front stuck Host Brief Bio: DoinFine enjoys the winter, blue hour, cloudy skies, and their favorite colors are blue and green. They enjoy hot chocolate, garlic bread, and cookies. The animal they identify with (not as) is a crow. They are kind, gentle, and goofy. Information: DoinFine is our front stuck Host, this means amnesia is not the same for us like it is for more diagnosable/traditional systems. Since DoinFine is around all the time we don't usually forget things completely though it can happen. Our amnesia looks and feels like having difficulty in recall of events but with enough description from an outside party we can pull up the memory as well as emotional amnesia where we can recall memories but not the emotions attached. It's almost like we have the memory the color has been stripped from it. DoinFine has also started having some identity issues with who they are with in the system. They are starting to realize that personality traits they thought were theirs were actually someone else's and they are having to relearn who they are as an individual which is harder for them specifically than anyone else in our system due to their role and how our system operates.

Name: cloud Emoji: ☁️/🌩️ depends on the day (cloud or cloud with lighting) Age Outside: 19~23 Pronouns: He/Him Star Sign: idfk this one is dumb (🛸 I'd say Scorpio or Aries) Identity: i'm a dude and i don't really like anyone Time of Origin: wouldn't you all like to know (🛸 He won't tell us but I know it's early early) Role: protector and gatekeeper Brief Bio: they wrote this for me but here you go - Cloud appreciates the fall, night time, cloudy skies and his favorite color is deep red (only cus they said black doesn't count). He likes monster energy and pizza (i'm not a sweets guy so no dessert). The animal he identifies with (not as) is on the scale from black cat to king cheetah, depends on how he feels. Cloud is direct, nicer than he looks, and unattached. Information: doinfine is our eyes and ears on the inside and out so to them our headspace looks like a couch that has a plug in seat (the front) and spot next to them for anyone to sit down and watch/give in put but with no way of controlling. everyone uses the couch but i don't i stand behind doinfine and tap in sometimes. we don't share thoughts , our minds are our own unless you sit in the chair or in my case stand behind. as far as anyones aware "touch" can link us a little bit but doinfine can never access anyones entire mind. so information retrieval is limited on and i'm not handing it to them freely so this might not be as clear as doinfine would like. i was the one who broke through first to doinfine. what happened was we lost access to our ADHD medication. we have been on ADHD medication since we were 8 with no breaks (which we think may have to do with our origin) so suddenly we were off it for like a week and a half. thats the longest we've gone with zero meds in 15 years. the no meds dropped some barriers and doinfine started thinking about system things again. systemhood has been an interest of theirs since they were 18 and they were starting to wonder why they found it so interesting and personal. i'm a gatekeeper and they we're piecing stuff together so i had to push back and that actually made it more obvious what we were. and now here we are.

Name: Summer Emoji: 🌾 (Grass) Age: 24 Pronouns: She/Her/they Star Sign: Libra Identity: Fem Lesbian Time of Origin: I believe around middle school/high school Role: Caretaker Brief Bio: Summer enjoys the spring (silly I know), golden hour, partially cloudy skies, and her favourite colour is golden yellow or green. She likes fruity teas, creamy soups, and pastries (bonus if they have chocolate in them). The animal she identifies with (not as) is an old bear basking in the sun or a deer. Summer is quiet, gentle, and easily overwhelmed. A bit shy but absolutely wonderful when you get to know her and she opens up. Information: Summer was the reason we started thinking about the possibility of being a system before the whole medication debacle. We were at home and we got the weirdest sensation when we took a passing glance at a mirror. We expected to see ourselves with long straight hair tied back and when we didn't see that it felt very uncomfortable and disturbing to the point of being unable to look at ourselves again for a bit. There was a bit where we went through a denial spiral and wrote off everyone else beyond Cloud as not being real because at the time we only had hard evidence from Cloud. Summer saw that we were in distress and disappeared to make things easier on us. For awhile it was the three of us, DoinFine, Cloud, and Bean. Then we got validation from our therapist about our experience and felt much more comfortable in our situation. Since that, Summer has slowly come back and, with it being summer time, she co-cons quite a bit. Also fun fact about Summer: we think she may be British. She got a lot of inspiration and influence from the things we were watching at the age she developed during. People like Dodie Clark and characters like Clara Oswald were big influences over her style and vibe.

Name: BEAN!!!! Emoji: 🧸 (Teddy bear) Age Slide: 8~10 Pronouns: I'm a kid! (🛸 🌾 She doesn't quite understand so we interpret that answer as neutral and use They/She) Star Sign: Taurus Identity: N/A Time of Origin: Early Role: No role Brief Bio: Bean enjoys the summer , mid day sun, blue skies, and their favorite color is all of them. She enjoys bubbly drinks, Annie's brand pasta, and rainbow sherbert ice cream. The animal that Bean identifies with (not as) is a baby chick or a kitten. Bean is energetic, impulsive, and can be shy at first. Information: Bean comes out when the stars align. She is very shy around other people despite wanting to be friends with our partner system's littles. We think that they may have been the "original". They came back out really strong last summer when we were back home and didn't recognize where we were because we had moved 2 years earlier and when I🛸 gave her the tour of the new house we came down stairs and Bean didn't recognize our pets. This told me that she hadn't been around since we were 8 or 9. Around that age we went through some medical trauma and I🛸 think she retreated far far back after that. Usually she just kinda wonders by the front and feels like a passing thought, impulse, or emotion and when I🛸 got to respond she's already gone. I🛸 don't think she understand who she is or who we are and why we're all here, but I🛸 do think living deep inside the head for 15 years has made her really good at navigating it. They have been the only one to front so strongly that I🛸 was bumped out of my seat for a second. I🛸 was still on the couch but I🛸 was shotgun and they were driving. I🛸 remember being impressed and then feeling someone else (☁️) feeling nervous which made me🛸 nervous and us both just gently holding the steering wheel while she drove and then she just got out of the chair and wondered off like it was no big deal.

We realized that we wanna do a separate post for how we operate, interact, and all that stuff because it will already be a massive post on it's own let alone being attached to this post so look out for that soon!

Welp! This is us! Feel free to ask us any questions either as a collective or individuals! We would be happy to answer them!

[spooniechef]

Cooking With Spoons: Intro

Hi; I go by Thess most of the time, and I have a lot of chronic conditions. The worst of them is the fibromyalgia, with its attendant fibro fog, fatigue, and IBS as well as the chronic pain. I also have chronic migraine, a gluten intolerance that may or may not be coeliac disease, lactose intolerance, chronic sinusitis, and what is probably undiagnosed ADHD. I am, in short, a bit of a mess.

All of the above conditions, individually or all together, really affect how people function, especially in the kitchen. The food intolerances make ready-made meals impossible or at least expensive. The pain and fatigue make cooking difficult to bear, and conditions like fibro fog and ADHD make following recipes tricky. With food prices skyrocketing, cooking at home is a necessity, but spoonies generally struggle with it. I know that for my own part, I round up just clinging to a few very simple recipes, and not expanding my range much more than that. It got boring. It got depressing. I wanted variety, but I didn’t want to suffer too badly to get it.

I’ve been doing well at picking up recipes and kitchen hints that make life a lot easier for me, and allows me to add variety to my meals while still not necessarily cooking every day. I’m still learning, and there’s a lot of trial and error involved, but it’s helping. So I thought, “Why not share what I’m learning with others?”

That’s what this blog is for. I’ll be posting recipes, tips and tricks to make things easier in the kitchen, notes on worthwhile kitchen utensils and what makes or breaks a gluten-free or milk-free substitution, and everything else I’ve been figuring out to make sure I’m eating right in a very tricky situation. Obviously you don’t have to have a chronic illness to enjoy any of these hints and recipes; just that I’m writing these posts with the understanding that not everyone can do the things recipes ask us to do easily - like “stirring continuously”, just for example.

So welcome to notes from the Spoonie Chef - all of the cooking, with a minimum of spoon usage.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Something about Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day not being the finale actually opens up such interesting and nice possibilities because this seems to be a season more about family, about doing things together again, and maybe about going back to basics while still going forward, and for DTAMHD to be the ep that likely has Dennis going off on his own, further separating him from this dynamic, (like that end shot in s15 where they’re all together holding each other up but Dennis is slightly off to the side, or the only still we think might be from it being the one with the gang behind the pool table with no Dennis in sight, or even the just released CD cover promo image where all the gang is looking in one direction but Dennis is looking in the other), much like Carries a Corpse separates Charlie and MFHP separates Mac to be more individually focused, anyway, for that to happen prior to a gang titled episode where they *seem* kind of happy and working as one again, what if the whole final episode is the big "I get it" or the "no man left behind" type scene of the season, like one full entire episode of the gang is together again, the gang is at its peak, like Mac and Charlie are happy cheering Dennis on, Dennis is open with them and warns about the fact he’s gonna scream, and even the screaming itself says something about a shift in things when before he would’ve probably tried to keep it in, but doors are opening this season, and in dtamhd maybe a door opens inside him and what does it all mean I’m connecting the dots-you didn’t connect shit.jpeg I’m connecting them, The Gang doing more things together but Dennis still feeling separate somehow —> Dennis slowly breaking pulling away all season —> the final straw causing him to snap and take a mental health day away from the gang —> Dennis’ big breakdown/emotional moment of his own that finally lets out something he’s been keeping inside of him this whole time —> this opening him up to finally get closer with the gang again/have the gang help him --> Dennis screaming in Goes Bowling, further showing him letting out something he can no longer keep inside —> 3 holes in a bowling ball --> holes getting filled --> something something I have undiagnosed adhd but! --> (also may perhaps open up a new path to follow with Dee becoming the one to focus on next season, with her doing her thing with the women's bowling, thus now becoming the one slightly separated, but that's a different post.)