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feels really bad when everything was just as you predicted, and will continue to get worse, as you predicted, but people act shocked that it really is that bad. where the fuck have you been the past 8 years? of course it's going to get fucking bad. if you are somehow blindsided by how BAD it's getting then i don't know what to tell you. nothing is off the table anymore. it will get worse, infinitely worse, before it finally runs its course. go with it or don't, i don't care, but don't clutch your pearls and act surprised.

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There is no way of accidentally doing a nazi salute twice in a row while the entire world is watching. This man needs to be killed

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hate when my posts blow up. please be nice

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and if you see a situation that is escalating in which a trans person is being harassed and might be assaulted, say or DO something. you have a responsibility to do this and i will not forgive you if you do nothing. you cannot afford to be a passive witness. we have to protect eachother.

now is a very very good time to start learning basic self defense if you’re trans

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if you are trans in the USA please listen to me. your only option now is to learn how to fight back. carry pepper spray, a screwdriver, a knife, anything you can use to seriously hurt someone. concealed carry if your state permits it and if you are capable of responsibly owning a firearm. (understand your limits with this. owning a firearm is a massive responsibility. this is a very in-depth topic that i will not get into in this post.)

look up resources on self defense. take martial arts classes. i know i sound like i’m fearmongering but it is going to be a very hard 4 years and you don’t have a choice anymore. do not go out alone. keep tabs on your friends. be extremely aware of your surroundings. you do not have a choice. if someone is trying to hurt you, you have to do everything in your power to hurt them back and secure your survival. the police will not help you. no one in authority will help you. only the people in your community will, and if you do not have a community, you have to find it. you have to learn how to hurt people. you do not have a choice.

my assignment for you is to read this pdf. principles of personal defense by jeff cooper. it does not get into how to fight, which is why you should always take classes for it, but does teach important survival skills in case you are assaulted and is very accessible.

now is a very very good time to start learning basic self defense if you’re trans

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regarding ICE as someone who has done some reporting on it and talked to both ICE and immigration lawyers

in different states, there are often different levels of law enforcement with ICE. california, for example, has the california values act and so in many jurisdictions, law enforcement is less likely to involve itself with immigration matters. pay attention to the history of your area's compliance with ICE. it also means law enforcement may not know ICE is around.

ICE vehicles do not have to be marked. oftentimes their enforcement and removal cars are not marked as "border patrol" or "ICE" or anything. their plates are usually "exempt" plates.

ICE officers are SUPPOSED to wear identifiable clothing and gear when performing operations, but are often in plainclothes, even during operations.

for reasons above, it might not be obvious that ICE is in your area or that a car you see is involved with ICE operations. FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH LOCAL COMMUNITIES. trusted nonprofits and people who work with undocumented and nonstatus people will often be keeping tabs on ICE. law enforcement in some areas may know as well. find out if ICE is in your area through vetting sources and then keep tabs on them too.

try to provide information in as many languages as you can.

tell people: ICE NEEDS A JUDICIAL WARRANT TO ENTER YOUR HOME--not one signed by a higher up ICE official, it MUST be signed by a judge. ICE may insist that they don't need a warrant, that they operate differently. they are using scare tactics.

lastly, regardless of your immigration status: KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. you can access the Immigration Legal Resource Center's red cards page, which can express your rights in a legally defensible way when ICE comes to your door. print some for your community. distribute them to people. they can be a useful resource! (https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards-tarjetas-rojas)

stay safe and protect each other, especially the most vulnerable groups among us.

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now is a very very good time to start learning basic self defense if you’re trans

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it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

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also a snowstorm rolled in today so my neighbor and i were stressed out of our minds trying to get around town for car parts. it was -2 degrees outside while we were working on it. doesn't take away from the beautiful friendship world but i just wanted to make a note of ITS FUCKING COLD

no longer suicidal. it really does take a village

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day started off really bad. then my partner's car wouldn't start - it just gave out. i immediately called my neighbor, the coolest woman i know, who i knew works on cars. the stars aligned and it was her day off, so she offered to spend the day trying to fix it. we figured out what likely went out, and my neighbor and i ran around grabbing parts to fix it. she offered to cover the parts as long as we pay her back "whenever you can, but don't worry about it." and, miraculously, she managed to get it running again. (the car still needs some work, but she's not dead yet. she's from 2004, so it's a true miracle.)

two of my friends who work with my partner drove them home for lunch, and i got to introduce my neighbor to them. we're all going to grab ramen when we're all free! but one of my friends offered to get us groceries because we've been struggling and haven't been able to buy groceries in weeks.

my neighbor made it her mission to fix the car. my friend made it her mission to help us get food. all of this we could not do on our own. we've been struggling, losing our minds, barely eating and barely making it by. and yet. jesus christ! and yet! the people in our lives are taking care of us. i cannot express how emotional i am about it. i am so very grateful for all of the people in my life.

no longer suicidal. it really does take a village

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no longer suicidal. it really does take a village

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gf’s car broke down. we’re barely surviving. no groceries no fucking anything and certainly no money to fix it. this year has been fucking awful. if I don’t get this job I interviewed for I don’t know what im going to do. SHOULD I END IT ALL VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES

NOTHING I DO FUCKING MATTERS

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NOTHING I DO FUCKING MATTERS

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i had my job interview at the YMCA yesterday and it went better than i ever could have expected. the ladies that interviewed me were very kind and welcoming, and i was very open about being nervous and having little practical experience but they were SO reassuring. they were also very transparent about problems i might run into working with troubled kids and parents, what the job responsibilities are, and ran me through difficult scenarios i might come across. they said i would be a perfect fit for working with the elementary school kids based on my answers. i was also open about being motivated by my rough upbringing to provide support and care for kids (especially neurodivergent kids) from troubled homes and one of the ladies confided in me that she went through similar neglect..... i felt very very comfortable in that room. they seemed to really, really care about their employees and said they prioritize their employee's health and happiness.

they were also upfront about the problems one of the programs they recently implemented faced. they have a new middle school program, which is *very* difficult to supervise for, and the position doesn't pay very well for the labor that's involved. they're currently fighting to get it licensed through the state so they can give people better wages. which just made me realize damn not all supervisors suck. there are people that actually really do care about what they're doing and want their employees to have livable wages.

i'd be making 15 an hour working with the elementary kids. it'll be part time, and i won't have many hours, but 15 an hour is 15 an hour. that's more than i was being paid working retail! i'm very hopeful that i'll get hired. one of the ladies said i interviewed "perfectly" even though i was nervous, so i think i left a positive impression despite it all. i'm supposed to hear back next friday. so here's to hoping.

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the world can be dark and cruel and full of unknown dangers. things will get worse before they get better, but they will get better. it takes time, effort, patience, and the willingness to throw bricks at people who are trying to hurt you.

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outlanders

jensey + kristin from splendor & misery

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THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭