#this is such a depressing issue and that's probably why i love it. there is a happy ending tho so that def lightens the load jaELKVEJKA
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lostsoulofdragon · 2 days ago
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Hey, aroace here! I’d like to share my view of this issue here.
so, I mostly identify as female, and a super close friend of mine as male. Normally, many, MANY people around us started to see us as a couple, that probably dated in secret.
truth is, no, we’re just best friends. Even my other bestie shipped us (but she didn’t press us to show how ‘together’ we were, it was more of a joke with her, and that is something I personally don’t mind to much). But he just helped me out of a really really fucked up part of my life. I was suicidal, probably depressed, tried to end it, and I was practicing light SH.
he got me out of there by simply being a friend, supporting and listening to me.
we had little to no contact before that, and suddenly, we were bestest of friends. then the rumors set in. “Oh, you’re a cute couple! You’re a couple right? No? Well you should be!”
even my family, who I’ve stated to multiple times that I’m NOT interested in a relationship started to ask me if he was my boyfriend, and when I declined, they went ‘that’s a loss, he’s a nice guy!’
I don’t understand why platonic love and friendship are so underrated, almost seen as invaluable in this society. I’ve always felt pressured to get a relationship, and when I did get into one, I could not manage to take it seriously. To me, it was just weird. Why should I kiss and hold hands, when I’m perfectly fine with the occasional hug or just a playful shove? Why do I need to strive to be married when it just means sharing rent and blowing money on a ceremony? Why should I push my friends, who I’ve grown to like- REALLY REALLY like- into the background for someone who could leave even easier than them? And why should I then be heartbroken over it?
I just don’t get it. I wish we as a society would start accepting that no, friendships and platonic relationships are NOT necessary. Love and sex are NOT mandatory for a fulfilled life. If you want that to be a goal for you, it’s TOTALLY FINE. Just don’t go and try and press it onto others, that have different goals.
((a song that does a good job explaining how an especially Aromantic person feels about this is (in my opinion, which is NOT what you should take as a norm) ‘Aromantic’ by Mike Fonzarelli Roberts.))
Normalize super close friendships instead of assuming there must be a romantic and/or sexual factor—friends are a wonderful treasure!
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flower-boi16 · 1 day ago
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Octavia’s reaction is 100% justified, actually
So I already made an entire reblog about this but I feel as if this topic is deserving of being its own post because the fandom’s reaction to Octavia has hit a new low. I’m just gonna paste what I said from this reblog here.
So think of this; young girl living in a home with a close relationship to her father. The father is always there to comfort the young girl and even sang a song when she was little as a lullaby to help her sleep due to having nightmares of her father not being there for her, telling her that no matter what, he’ll never leave and she will always be okay.
Cut to many years later, and, suddenly, things change. The father that the young girl held close to…suddenly cheats on his wife and starts obsessing over a random imp over her, even to the point of making sexual remarks about him around her even when she’s uncomfortable. Everything was turned upside down for her, the parents who previously loved each other now loathe on another, and now the father who held his daughter dear starts neglecting her in favor of this random imp.
Which leads the daughter to grow a fear that her father will leave her in favor of that imp, a perfectly understandable one given that it was established before that she has fears of abandonment. THEN when that father takes the daughter to a carnival that she hated when she was a child, he spends most of the day flirting with that imp on the trip that was SUPPOSED TO CHEER HER UP. The daughter gets fed up with this and runs off where the father follows suit. The daughter expresses her fears of abandonment to her father and asks him if he is really going to leave her in favor of that imp. The father says no, realizing his mistake and assures her that he’ll never leave her and decides to take her to a place she actually enjoys as a way to make up for that…
…and then cut to 17 episodes later where the daughter then witnesses her father THROWING HIS LIFE AWAY ON LIVE TELEVISION FOR AN IMP. He told her that he would never leave her, that he wouldn’t chose that imp over her…and he does that with no hesitation. Without even telling her. Octavia doesn’t know shit about whatever close relationship Blitz and Stolas have, to her, Blitz is just some random nobody imp that Stolas is for some reason horny over.
And this effectively cements to Octavia that, she doesn’t matter to her father. He really would choose an imp over her. Sinmass further drives this home with a heart breaking song Octavia sings that offers as a dark reprise of you will be okay, as Octavia sings about her resentment and heart break over her father betraying her trust, for LYING to her. She says she’ll never be the same now and fully accepts the fact that Stolas cares more about Blitz than her. And she then finds out that Stolas was taking anti-depressant pills, making her believe that she was just nothing but a burden, an obligation to Stolas this whole time.
If she wasn’t, why would he leave her without hesitation? It’s infuriating to me how the one time the show has good writting the fandom STILL makes insane arguments trying to defend Stolas.
Is Stolas allowed to form other relationships outside of Octavia? Yea, he is, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that Stolas was placing those new relationships above his old ones, he chose Blitz over Octavia, his daughter, his FAMILY.
”probably called her a million times” actually we saw him call once and Octavia was happy to answer until Stella wouldn’t let her, taking Octavia’s phone and mocking Stolas for trying to call her. Octavia doesn’t see the whole picture because SHE DOESNT HAVE THE WHOLE PICTURE! Stolas never communicated ANYTHING to her, not about what was going on between him and Stella, and not about his relationship with Blitz. Stolas didn’t give Octavia ANY information about what was going on and guess what? Seeing Stars and Sinmass show the exact consequences of that.
In Seeing Stars Octavia runs away to try and see the stars for herself because Stolas was focusing more on arguing with Stella than her, which leads Octavia to thinking that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her, and she wouldn’t have started believing that IF STOLAS COMMUNICATED AND TOLD HER ABOUT THE ABUSE DURING OF THEIR MARRIAGE. Therefore she would be more understanding.
And in Sinmas, If Stolas ever explained to Octavia at any point in the show the full context of his relationship with Blitz, that would, at the very least, make Octavia understand his decision. Yet he never did. Octavia doesn’t have the full context for ANY of these situations because Stolas for SOME REASON never communicated to her.
And can people just fuck off with the whole “omg Octavia is such an immature/selfish teenager!” BECAUSE SHES NOT!! She’s not being a bratty, emotional teen for *checks notes* wanting attention from her father. Sinsmas is legitimately one of the best episodes of season 2 because it actually addresses Stolas acts as a father and calls him out for it, creating drama that doesn’t feel artificial for once and ends up being a step in the right direction for both Stolas AND Octavia as characters. But it’s sad to me that some people still miss blatantly obvious details like this.
Octavia is not a bratty teenager having a tantrum, she’s a girl that had her life turned upside down and is suffering through a divorce. I wish most of the fandom would actually see that.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 16 days ago
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sorry just got reminded of the entirety of uncanny x-men #309 and how it's charles having a therapy session with himself about his love life and desires and how he kept sacrificing himself and his wants for The Cause and the whole time he imagines erik to represent his innermost thoughts in the form of a therapist to have him unravel all this
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ladylaser07 · 9 months ago
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flower-boi16 · 1 day ago
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So I never once thought I would ever make a post defending Helluva Boss of all things but this post struck a certain chord within me and I feel the need to respond to it. It is legitimately sad to me how the fandom will bend over backwards to defend Stolas’ actions and demonize his victims even when the SHOW FRAMING DISAGREES WITH THAT EXACT FRAMING.
So let’s actually run down the context here and explain why Octavia’s reaction in this scene is perfectly understandable and valid, shall we?
So think of this; young girl living in a home with a close relationship to her father. The father is always there to comfort the young girl and even sang a song when she was little as a lullaby to help her sleep due to having nightmares of her father not being there for her, telling her that no matter what, he’ll never leave and she will always be okay.
Cut to many years later, and, suddenly, things change. The father that the young girl held close to…suddenly cheats on his wife and starts obsessing over a random imp over her, even to the point of making sexual remarks about him around her even when she’s uncomfortable. Everything was turned upside down for her, the parents who previously loved each other now loathe on another, and now the father who held his daughter dear starts neglecting her in favor of this random imp.
Which leads the daughter to grow a fear that her father will leave her in favor of that imp, a perfectly understandable one given that it was established before that she has fears of abandonment. THEN when that father takes the daughter to a carnival that she hated when she was a child, he spends most of the day flirting with that imp on the trip that was SUPPOSED TO CHEER HER UP. The daughter gets fed up with this and runs off where the father follows suit. The daughter expresses her fears of abandonment to her father and asks him if he is really going to leave her in favor of that imp. The father says no, realizing his mistake and assures her that he’ll never leave her and decides to take her to a place she actually enjoys as a way to make up for that…
…and then cut to 17 episodes later where the daughter then witnesses her father THROWING HIS LIFE AWAY ON LIVE TELEVISION FOR AN IMP. He told her that he would never leave her, that he wouldn’t chose that imp over her…and he does that with no hesitation. Without even telling her. Octavia doesn’t know shit about whatever close relationship Blitz and Stolas have, to her, Blitz is just some random nobody imp that Stolas is for some reason horny over.
And this effectively cements to Octavia that, she doesn’t matter to her father. He really would choose an imp over her. Sinmass further drives this home with a heart breaking song Octavia sings that offers as a dark reprise of you will be okay, as Octavia sings about her resentment and heart break over her father betraying her trust, for LYING to her. She says she’ll never be the same now and fully accepts the fact that Stolas cares more about Blitz than her. And she then finds out that Stolas was taking anti-depressant pills, making her believe that she was just nothing but a burden, an obligation to Stolas this whole time.
If she wasn’t, why would he leave her without hesitation?
Is Stolas allowed to form other relationships outside of Octavia? Yea, he is, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that Stolas was placing those new relationships above his old ones, he chose Blitz over Octavia, his daughter, his FAMILY.
”probably called her a million times” actually we saw him call once and Octavia was happy to answer until Stella wouldn’t let her, taking Octavia’s phone and mocking Stolas for trying to call her. Octavia doesn’t see the whole picture because SHE DOESNT HAVE THE WHOLE PICTURE! Stolas never communicated ANYTHING to her, not about what was going on between him and Stella, and not about his relationship with Blitz. Stolas didn’t give Octavia ANY information about what was going on and guess what? Seeing Stars and Sinmass show the exact consequences of that.
In Seeing Stars Octavia runs away to try and see the stars for herself because Stolas was focusing more on arguing with Stella than her, which leads Octavia to thinking that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her, and she wouldn’t have started believing that IF STOLAS COMMUNICATED AND TOLD HER ABOUT THE ABUSE HE O DURING OF THEIR MARRIAGE. Therefore she would be more understanding.
And in Sinmas, If Stolas ever explained to Octavia at any point in the show the full context of his relationship with Blitz, that would, at the very least, make Octavia understand his decision. Yet he never did. Octavia doesn’t have the full context for ANY of these situations because Stolas for SOME REASON never communicated to her.
And fuck off with the whole “oh look that’s typical teenager behavior!!” Bullshit right there. Ah yes Octavia is just acting like a bratty teenager for…*checks notes* wanting her dad to pay more attention to her. Cool.
Sinsmas is legitimately one of the best episodes of season 2 because it actually addresses Stolas acts as a father and calls him out for it, creating drama that doesn’t feel artificial for once and ends up being a step in the right direction for both Stolas AND Octavia as characters. But it’s sad to me that some people still miss blatantly obvious details like this.
Octavia is not a bratty teenager having a tantrum, she’s a girl that had her life turned upside down and is suffering through a divorce. I wish most of the fandom would actually see that.
Well honestly while I’m really sorry for Octavia and her feelings, she really needs to mature.
Unpopular opinion?
Parents also deserve a right to be happy and build their relationships. Stolas never neglected her and always was the loving and caring parent compared to Stella who only thinks of Via as of a tool for fulfilling her duty to the Goetia family. Stolas never hides his feelings and always makes Via sure that she’s valuable to him no matter what. But has Via ever thought about his happiness? She’s not a little girl anymore and gonna be an adult soon, so she needs to realize that there are other people around her who also deserve to be happy. Stolas was abused in his marriage with Stella, deeply depressed and taking antidepressants yet when he found someone who meant to him as much Via did he…what? Was supposed to let it go all of sudden? It’s not like I defend Stolitz romantic relationship over a parent/daughter relationship, but that would’ve never worked out irl.
Via baby, guess what? A parent can never stay around their child for all eternity, at some point of life you gotta separate. Once again that’s not about burning bridges with your family, you CAN still be a family and have your own business. Stolas probably called her around a million times in that ep and she knew that. She knew that he cared. Did she try to meet him? No. As we saw, nobody stopped her yet she only came when she decided to burn the said bridges. She simply refuses to see the whole picture and understand that sometimes there are CIRCUMSTANCES and REASONS for actions adults make. All she sees is Stolas somehow leaving her behind.
That’s a peak teenage behavior to me. And the saddest thing is that Stolas could never see such a point of view because a child is the most precious thing to a parent no matter what. He will slowly drown in his sorrow thinking that it’s his fault because he decided to have something for himself just for once in his life.
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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Just thinking about the fact Sora died because of the poison she drink to save her kids, because she is gentle and kind. And her only son who the desesperate act work is as kind as her.
But the StrawHats don't know she did that, this is something he don't have the courage to tell. And they know even less that Sanji is ready to do the same.
He isn't pround of that, but he ends up discovering the poison she drink and even have the recipe of how to do it. Because the germa soldiers teached them this and others poisons.
And this little fact is like a silent threat, a thing that if the crew discovers this, would be attentive about anything he drinks until they're certainly he's not gonna do the same thing his mother did.
And when the StrawHats learn about this fact, the exactly thing he expected happens, he notice Chopper and Robin always near the kitchen with the excuse of how's there was calmer, Nami and Usopp start to do his drinks for him or always are looking him while he's doing it, the others does things too. And Sanji notices all of this.
It's needed months to calm the crew, but still after they stop, all of them always have this fear in the back of they're minds (Luffy even goes as far as asking Law to do a check up on Sanji the next time they meet), that he will do this, but they want to believe he will not. They really want to.
(Just a thought that come to my mind yesterday, and I wanted to share, y'know? Based on some headcanons)
Oh, damn. This honestly hits close to home and it's really interesting so I wanna talk about it. But, you know, it's a serious topic so:
TW // Suicide, poison, self-harm, depression, etc etc you know the drill about Sanji and his issues. I don't go deep, tho, so It's not THAT explicit but could be triggering.
I think that after WCI and Wano, they'd all be worried. Sanji has always been pretty self-sacrificing with everyone and he doesn't value his life in the slightest. He doesn't show signs at first of being actively suicidal but the way he treats his own life makes it clear that he gets into self-sabotaging situations to the point of it being considered self-harm or even passive suicidal behavior. He just- Doesn't care about dying because he puts others first all the time. He has been doing that forever and Skypiea is just one of the times he does that. But, y'know, they never notice that. At least not everyone. I think Zoro is the first to know because of Thriller Bark, honestly. That's one of the biggest signs imo. But then they're separated and it's not like they can talk about it. Then two years happen and uh, shit goes downhill after that because WCI is just utterly traumatizing for Sanji and Wano makes everything worse to the point of asking Zoro to kill him if he loses himself. And we always say that's really gay (because it is) but we ignore the whole point of Sanji genuinely asking somebody to kill him without any fucking hesitation. And he spends all of Wano having the biggest crisis of his life wondering if he's human enough or worthy of being in the crew and???? What the actual fuck. Anyway, I think the crew ends up finding out about everything and I don't believe Sanji is well mentally after all of this. I know they don't write it like this because things are happening and they have to go to Egghead, but I think Sanji would end up really fucked up after WCI and Wano to the point of being worrisome.
If they do find out about the poison thing and Sanj's suicidal thoughts (honestly, I don't know how they would even find out about it unless Reiju tells them or Sanji snaps and yells about that, but, y'know. The point is that they know and Sanji is getting worse) I think you're completely right and they'd be all over him. Because that's exactly what happens when somebody acts this way. They look after him to a suffocating extent and watch his steps. They take turns to watch him. They prepare his drinks. They even make up something so he doesn't have to be on night watch so he can sleep, because he's probably not sleeping either. Or eating well, for that matter, which is what makes them all worry even more in the first place.
And hear me out, because I think he would try to do it. Like- Commit, I mean. Not gonna get into the topic too deep but I think he'd try and I think it wouldn't work because somebody would help him right away and I think he'd try to play it off as a mistake and a misunderstanding, but everyone would know. And he'd just try to ignore their pep talks and interventions.
This is projecting from personal experience and everyone goes through these things differently, but God, I think he'd fucking hate it if they looked after him. Because he knows he won't do it again. At least he doesn't want to do it again. But everybody keeps looking after him like he's about to break at any moment and it's so damn annoying to not have any type of privacy because they think he's gonna off himself the second he's alone. And he gets why they're doing it and appreciates their efforts to look after him, but acting this way is not the answer to his problems. It's just asphyxiating and it isn't helping him get better. You know how the crew is, they're NOT subtle and careful with anything and they're just-- They have good intentions but it's suffocating and he can't handle it anymore.
And I think he'd snap. I actually want to write a fic about this if you let me use your idea (I will credit you, ofc) because I think it'd be great to make him snap at Nami, specifically, and then regret it completely.
Long story short because this is getting long: I think Brook and Robin would end up talking things out with him because they're the ones who understand him the most in this situation. He'd apologize to Nami but also everyone else would apologize too for acting this way, they were just worried and wanted to look after him. I think, after this, the only ones watching Sanji would be Brook and Robin and they'd do it carefully, supporting him and helping him get better. And the whole crew would be next to him along the way but doing it with less assertiveness and just gentler.
I think the concept of Sanji thinking about death so often is great because it adds depth to his character and it's not a crazy thought. I think it's pretty damn canon, actually. At least him being careless about his own life.
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maliciousalice · 6 months ago
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Count the ways I've had a fucked up life:
-Shoved my twin sister when we were 3 and saw blood come out of her ears from the knock on her head. From that point on she was half-deaf. -Twin sister and I nearly drowned at age 6 by being pulled into a powerful rip-tide at an unsupervised beach. My parents thought it was cute until we couldn't swim back and they both had to swim out to get us. I remember being really tired, and them being unsure about being able to swim back to shore.
-At age 11 witnessed my mother forgetting to apply the brake to her car. She tried to get back in and tripped, it subsequently rolled over her, crushing her foot and dragging her down the road. She bled profusely. The crimson stained pavement haunted me for a long time. I blamed myself because I arrived home from a friend's house at the same exact same time and believed I distracted her.
-Accidently electrocuted myself when I was bored while watching my siblings play on the computer. Without looking, I fiddled with the back of an old lamp with my finger tips, but I didn't know that fumbling the cables would cause it to surge. The large shock sent my arm numb for about an hour. Didn't seek treatment because the power tripped and I was worried I would get yelled at.
-Deep in the bush, during a particularly dry summer, family friends stupidly made a bonfire, and I saw our campsite get quickly lit up. As the flames surrounded us and the cars, I was yelled at to go get help/manual water pumps as if it was my fault. Somehow we managed to put it all out. We had to try something because the alternative was getting trapped.
-Was on the phone to my grandma when she had a stroke, I had no idea what was going on, to the point I thought it was a prank. I was crying because it wasn't something I was even aware could happen to someone, I continued to listen and her language skills deteriorated the longer I was on the phone. She became convincedly desperate despite her incoherence and somehow I broke away from my fear and got my dad to help her.
-My mother stabbed my older sister in the arm with a kitchen knife and they both just walked off. I remember being around the corner listening to the argument escalate and saw my older sister clutching her arm. (my sister is very violent so I think it was done in self defense???)
-Dad threw that same sister into the drywall multiple times--Not to excuse it but she was a devil, and would attack / lunge at us, and disrespected my parents from a young age. Dull thudding against walls sends me on edge to this day because it was one way to identify a scuffle with her.
-Mum had a cabinet pushed onto her by my older sister. The cabinet had a glass panel that shattered on her leg and sliced it open.
-My twin sister got upset at me and swung a 10kg metal bar stool at my leg, the blunt force tore my leg open, I now have a very sensitive scar on my shin. -My mum ran at me in an anger spell and I blocked it by pushing her away from me (that's legitimately all), she slipped on the slippery cork floors we had and fell over hitting her head hard. She was unconscious for a few minutes. Her tongue was sticking out and her eyes were open. I thought I had killed her. I wanted to call an ambulance. She woke up and I begged to her that she needed to go to hospital but she brushed it off because we had to catch a flight.
-On my way back from a lunch break I saw a woman go under a Truck. Once again I blamed myself because I crossed in front of the driver at a crossing, and nodded to him. As he rolled forward to leave she sprinted across, I turned and saw that she got hit. -My older sister took advantage of my mum and got into large debts by getting her to co-sign loans behind my dad's back. My mum was paying off things like her phone bill and eventually a car loan. This caused a lot of violent contention.
-Older Sister was kicked out of multiple times but my parents never fully cut her out and now she lives scott-free in a brand new granny flat in the backyard because of their guilt.
-lived in relative poverty and mess most of my teenage life because it was too expensive to send 4 kids to school for my parents. They worked full time but didn't really provide us with any emotional security. Both parents were very messy but blamed us for it as we got older. I tried my best to keep things clean but it was often in vain (it is to this day as things have escalated to full hoarding)
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mako-island-moon-pool · 1 year ago
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
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#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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hyog-blog · 2 days ago
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This is so on point! And I believe ZYZ is actually heavily traumatized, psychologically, by everything that's happened. Losing Li Lun was bad enough (and causing him, unwillingly, deathly damage, like, he didn't even have the time to process it when Li Lun took off all hurt and burning with anger and the sheer betrayal of it all).
Mentally they were totally in their teens, with ZYZ being somewhat better in terms of emotional intelligence (in my headcanon) because he must have spent more time in the human realm, picking up on various things and coping mechanisms (or lack of them, but he could still witness and learn from humans how to deal with emotional stuff).
I assume he pretty much lost it and spiraled into depression long before the blood moon came, it just amplified that inner conflict that he had, just like the OP has described so well, leading to all those murders. But his personality, his sane self simply couldn't process it all upon coming back from that brink of darkness, hence he shoved it all away (along with Li Lun who became a living symbol of what he did, of him losing himself to the darkness).
ZYZ actually seriously started thinking that after he had done all he could do was only die, so he planned and seeked death willingly, specifically, painfully so. Like no amount of remorse could ever grant him the absolution for what he had done. And Li Lun, while being part of the whole thing, certainly became a much lesser issue in the grand scale of things (because ZYZ simply didn't want to live any longer, so why even bother making amends with his lover? Especially when he thought he didn't deserve to be forgiven). And as I see it, even if Li Lun saw reason earlier and came to him as a friend or at least as a former lover, it wouldn't have made any difference.
For ZYZ keeping any kind of relationship with Li Lun made no point at that exact moment - he'd be dead soon anyway. That, and he probably didn't have any mental capacity to be that ray of light that could bring Li Lun from the darkness he was facing himself. They simply couldn't be that for each other in that particular situation, and after everything that's happened. And Li Lun certainly didn't understand ZYZ and his motivation, or his deathwish, wallowing in his own pain and grief.
Even HMH said in his interview that Zhao Yuanzhou was constantly depressed - and this is something we can all understand. And he was depressed up to the point of getting suicidal - he didn't do it himself just because he couldn't (he wanted to stop this whole malicious energy vessel thing from happening ever again, ignoring the fact that was the natural cycle of things in that particular Universe they are living in). So he was intent on both dying and at least somehow fixing the world while he was at it [if I'm remembering the canon correctly.]
I mean, psychologically, it's an actual miracle he even got to feel some happiness, or something other than total despair and deathwish. And we have to thank Wen Xiao and Zhuo Yichen for that. Because Li Lun wouldn't have been able to do that for him, he was too much like him in a way. So it took one unapologetically human and open-hearted and forgiving Zhuo Yichen to heal him at least a little bit. And one caring, loving, accepting, and gentle, and humorous Goddess to heal him some more. And a bunch of cute kids. And being able to help someone, care for someone, bringing a new meaning to his whole existence. His healing arc is a topic for a whole different essay, but yeah))
Thank you OP, it's so pleasing to read such a beautiful analysis.
Zhao Yuanzhou is certainly a character with many flaws, but I see him in the situation with Li Lun not so much as cruel as weak.
He was also a teenager, like Li Lun, only a soft-hearted naive idealist. When his naive world collapsed, it shook him to the point of essentially a psychotic breakdown and a split personality. Because I am strongly convinced that the story with the ever burning wood and the red moon is not the cause, but a metaphor for what happened between them.
When Li Lun committed an act of aggression, the adults said that Li Lun should be isolated - and Zhao Yuanzhou obeyed the adults, because he is actually a very driven person. But his soul still could not accept this situation. And so in his breakdown, he killed the goddess - who had just imprisoned Li Lun.
And then he destroyed the Demon Hunting Bureau. Because well ... the subconscious, having entered into an aggressive rage, does not conduct an investigation and distinguishes who is right and who is guilty. He sees a sign that says "demon hunters" and takes out all his unexpressed anger on them, both for the demons in the clinic's cages and for Li Lun.
But then he woke up with blood on his hands, and after that, even thinking about Li Lun became unbearable. Because now Li Lun is not just a loved one who made a mistake. Li Lun is now his own unbearable guilt, that burning him from the inside.
And in my opinion, this is a fairly accurate metaphor for how the inability to face your own dark side makes you no less dangerous to others than the one who brings his dark side into the world.
All this certainly did not make the situation any easier for Li Lun, who first learned that in the human world, creatures like him are caged like wild animals. And then his closest and most beloved people essentially did the same to him. What meaning can he see in the world after that? And empathy and morality are actually very fragile things, easily dying if the world and your own life cease to have meaning for you.
And for me too, I would like, if not a better ending, then at least more sympathy for Li Lun from the other characters. The most he got in life was recognition that they did not want him to die in the eyes of Zhuo Yichen and Zhao Yuanzhou.
In general, of all the anomaly characters in the drama - Zhuo Yichen, Zhao Yuanzhou, Li Lun, Bai Jiu - only Zhuo Yichen received at least some explanation about how the world works from a respected adult in childhood. And how it changes things!
All the others fell into the world of prejudices, understanding almost nothing about themselves or about humans and immediately got into the most epic troubles.
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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jackett-slut · 1 year ago
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ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.
#vent. sort of.#okay. why do i have absolutely no clue what i want or like. like in life. career/job/college/life etc wise. no interests beyond casual.#and amateur level interests. which is fine but i don’t think i want them to go higher and therefore aren’t careers you know. i like them#for fun. but like all my friends have interests and things they’re studying or doing that i hear it and i’m like oh my god yeah that’s them#that’s perfect. that’s so them. of course. makes perfect sense. and they have the history of hobbies and interest in the topic to back that#choice up. but me? man i have fucking nothing. i feel like i have been in survival mode forever and i literally have not had the opportunit#or ability to develop myself and my interests or even my fucking STYLE or ANYTHING!!! it seems worthless FOR ME. WHY????????#that’s the survival mode talking. but like what am i supposed to do now. i feel like a fucking shell of a person. like the only thing that#passes through this brain is whatever my current hyperfixation is and whatever new hell/trauma/issue i’m dealing with in my life. that’s it#man i remember being a kid and having vibrancy and passion and interests. and it just left. maybe it left when my brother was born when i#was 10. maybe it left during any one of the traumautic experiences or abuse during my teenage years.#but then i wonder what my friends see. like do i have interests and likes in their eyes? i mean space has been My Thing to my friends for#years now but even my interest and love for that was a coping mechanism (escapism) and i’m not interested in the science beyond what i can#use to cope and mentally escape or use in my head as hope for escape.#MAN i feel like i’m so fucked. like i don’t know what the fuck to do. i don’t want to do anything. maybe i’m depressed?#i mean i know i do and have dealt with depression but i mean maybe that’s what this is from.#maybe i’m autistic? maybe adhd and maybe that’s why i have whims and phases that never stick? i don’t know.#maybe it’s from the dysphoria? maybe it’s like bc i can’t picture a future for myself bc of that? probably not cuz i have trans friends who#do indeed have solid interests and senses of self.#so. i don’t fucking know.#i don’t fucking know. i don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m falling behind and like i’ll never get out and i’ll never get my head into#my own real life and the present in order to figure out who i am and what i like and want. i’ve got NOTHING. HEAD. EMPTY. WHAT THE FUCK.#what the fuck. what do people do when they run up against this problem. i don’t know.#maybe this rn is just because i’m on my period. i don’t know. fuck.#maybe it’s dissociation. or like FROM my lifelong dissociation issues. hmm.#okay but THEN i’m like okay this is a really privileged problem to have like. i have a choice in what i want to do. which is nice. and i am#not even being rushed by my family. so like. then i feel even worse for feeling this way. fuck. maybe it’s fine maybe it’s all fine.#maybe this just happens sometimes and a person has no interests and it’s fine. i don’t fucking know. doesn’t seem to be that way for most#people but maybe. who knows#vent
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king-sassy08 · 4 months ago
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I'm back at it again, unfortunately
#jay jabbers#why does she always have to tell me his girlfriend looks like me. WHY#ive never seen her or met her but apparently EVERYONE thinks she looks like me and is some kind of substitute for me#TRUTH BE TOLD im right fucking here!!!!!!#yes I'm obsessed with him yes im in love with him#yes i know he doesnt like me back yes it is shattering me from the inside out yes i can feel myself slowly dying#yes i am aware that finding out he has a girlfriend was the beginning of a downward spiral over the summer that led me to be more depressed#than ive been in a Fucking While#i know we would never work i know we're too different but i would so desperately want us to work if it ever came to that#but i know it would never fucking happen#but#theres so much that SHE has fhat i dont#im disabled shes not im ugly shes not im fucking crippled for life shes not#im depressed anxious ocd shes not#shes skinny im not#were both from mexico apparently we fucking look alike byt shes smart and she doesnt have the fucking range of issues i have#ive told him far too much about whats wrong with me which. is another reason we could never work#she probably doesn't have anything wrong with her and if she does then shes never told him like i have#and of course the big one i give off a distinct air of queerness and most people think im a lesbian#i want to transition and get top surgery and a hysterectomy and be a handsome man named jared#i want a fucking beard and short hair and to be me and GAY!!!!!#meanwhile shes a fucken girl and he would never go for fucking some half baked wanna be fag#idfk. im tired and i like him and he doesnt like me back and i dont wsnt to be reminded of it#jay rambles
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localtrashstan · 3 days ago
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I've always agreed with this take. Just because you're older than just outta high school doesn't mean you're not into some or a lot of the same things you could've been in high school, but it also doesn't mean your problems just disappear.
I see people often say he's "too young" simply because of how he acts about his family. While I do agree he's immature for acting the way he does, it is understandable to some extent when you consider his family's situation and the fact that they're all very different individuals. It's kinda like he held onto grudges and let any kind of animosity fester, and, in turn, maybe Demetrius did the same. I mean, there's only so many "you're not my dad" arguments and angst one man can take before it just turns into a complete avoidance of him to avoid any kind of argument. Given Demetrius comes off as kind of awkward and very absorbed in his work, I imagine that probably led to a lot of misunderstandings between them, although that still doesn't necessarily mean he gets the sole blame for everything. I actually believe the fault lies in the entire family for their dysfunctionality.
With Maru, I actually imagine most of his dislike toward her is probably resentment and jealousy since people generally like Maru, and she's got a bright future that others are able to see and root for since she is more personable. I can see Sebastian letting his insecurities get the better of him in that regard, especially since he's obviously depressed and anxious, which does a number on your self-esteem, especially when you're isolating yourself like Sebastian does. He sees her as everything he isn't and it's turned into a strong dislike (I say dislike instead of hate because I don't believe he actually hates her. I genuinely do believe it's jealousy and resentment that causes him to act the way he does toward her). It could also be as an act of defiance against Demetrius, although I don't buy this one as much because it feels colder than I imagine Sebastian would dare to be, but it is still a possibility.
As for Robin, I just think she was overbearing and given that Sebastian was young when Maru was born, and I've always imagined that being shortly after her marriage to Demetrius, I'm sure that led him to feel "replaced" which is a common feeling some older siblings have, especially during the baby stages since they need more attention. I know I've had my fair share of that growing up as I have two younger siblings who were born when I was quite small. That could go along with his dislike of Maru as well. Plus, I mean, teenagers often get distant from their parents. It just could simply be that he never made the transition back into being close with her again after that, perhaps because he felt too awkward to.
Whatever the case may be, family problems don't just disappear because you're an adult, and his leaving to the city is honestly probably hugely motivated by these issues. It's sad, and like I said, he's not the most mature in how he handles them, but that's why I've always headcannoned that after he's married or maybe after he's left the house that it's only then that he's able to appreciate his family and mend his relationships with them. Overall, I think if Sebastian ever wanted things to change, he'd have to be the one to initiate it because I fear he's closed himself off so much from them that nobody else would make the attempt.
Maybe Im just projecting a little bit as I'm going through a lot right now myself with mental health, and it honestly has made me do and say some pretty stupid and honestly immature things. It's a problem that I'm working on, though. But, yeah, I do see myself a lot in Sebastian, so I very well could be projecting a little there.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I love Sebastian so much, sorry for the rant lol.
I really dislike it when Seb is portrayed like he's fresh out of high school or something and how often this happens. The guy is most likely over 25 already and while he might not have that much experience with relationships, he's way more mature and adult than given credit for.
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eats-the-stars · 1 year ago
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i think most parents do legit have a favorite child but what you gotta do is never let them figure it out. gotta keep em guessing. anyone w/siblings has had the "who is the favorite child" debate amongst themselves. if u didn't then it was probably too obvious to warrant debate, condolences. my dad, tho, he is a long-time pro at keeping us on our toes. middle sister is convinced youngest sister is the fave. youngest sister thinks it's me. i keep changing my vote based on new evidence. this is the correct way for a parent to go about this. if "who is the favorite child?" is a legit heated debate your kids get into frequently then you're doing it right. clear and consistent favoritism of one child is not good. spread that shit out.
#family stuff#my mom was a little more complicated#but i think she did have a least favorite child and it was my middle sister#mostly because of middle child syndrome and being the kid who complained the most out of us three#like i was the oldest so that won me points. and then the youngest gets points too for being the baby of the family so that evened out#if anyone is the least favorite of both parents i'm sorry to say but it's probably my middle sister#and she also believes this#and i think the reasons are this: she's a huge pessimist and frequently brings the mood down w/worst case scenario mentions#she doesn't like doing things so whenever we had something planned as a family she was unhappy about it#going to the cabin or the park or to visit relatives or go swimming. nope. she was going to be unhappy about it#picky eater issue complicated mealtimes#she was honestly just kind of a wet blanket of a kid. like i love her but if you said 'why was she the least favorite?' well...#not to say me and my youngest sis don't have flaws. the main issue here tho is just basic personality#and if you're constantly complaining and living life to a depressing soundtrack#then ppl are gonna maybe not like hanging out w/u as much#or maybe prefer their happier and more easygoing kids to you#it's not her fault but it would be hard to pretend that i can't think of a single reason she'd be the least favorite#also since she is a very pessimistic-minded person she actually brings these points up herself on the topic so...#yeah the competition is honestly probably just youngest vs oldest kid in our family for both parents
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steviescrystals · 1 year ago
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so my best friend’s little sister (who is also best friends with MY little sister) apparently removed almost everyone from her instagram and i just found out that for some reason included me :) my best friend thinks it’s funny but i’m so genuinely upset, like i’ve known her for 8 years and bc our sisters are best friends too we all practically lived at each other’s houses all through middle and high school. but whatever! i guess it’s fine!
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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago
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Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
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