#self deprecation

[mizaryy]

and the second it’s possible, 

they are going through something and can’t handle it.

It feels like no matter who I mirror, no matter how hard I try to please people, no matter how nice I try to be— no one fucking likes me enough to stay or just return my energy equally. It’s so exhausting but I keep trying and trying to get this love and attention but it’s not sticking.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

[yourgirlinpieces]

i hate that kind of sadness where your chest physically hurts

[aamerchive]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s my body is a slaughterhouse.

[image credit: pinterest]

[defire]

Defiant whumpees joking around with whumper

Content: degradation, beating, whipping

Whumper doesn't slap them for their sarcastic comments, instead they laugh

Randomly punishes defiant whumpee for their sass, but not consistently enough to make it stick. They don't actually want whumpee to stop, it's entertaining.

"I think you're enjoying torturing me too much." "No such thing as too much fun."

Whumper coming back down to the basement where whumpee is tied up. "What's it gonna be this time, whumper?" "Oh, maybe the brass knuckles today." *Whumpee goes silent.*

Whumpee trying even harder to push whumper's buttons and getting a laugh and ten lashes for it.

Over time whumpee stops joking. They get that dead, glassy-eyed look as the last piece of their personality is erased.

Whumper ordering them to sass them so they can punish them for it. But also punishing them for not speaking.

"it's alright." Whumpee mutters. "I know I'm just a piece of shit. you don't have to keep trying to prove it."

[whumpster-dumpster]

"Honestly, you couldn't have picked anyone worse to ransom. Everybody knows I'm the throwaway. Expendable."

[mouthfxllofwhiteliess]

Tell me I’m pretty so the depression goes away 😇🎀✨

[jiangshinigami]

I'm a terrible person

thought of "femboy milking idle game" and I had to make my brain to shut up

[niabridges]

Lowkey cringing. Brainrot.

[bookishpraiseprincess]

abandonment issues 🤝 attachment issues

crying when he's not replying

because im afraid he doesn't

actually like me and wants

to stop talking to me

[ineffectualdemon]

Hey if you can't stop being self deprecating because it hurts yourself do it because it hurts others

When you post a fic and leave a note saying "sorry it's so bad!" You have just insulted every reader who enjoyed it

When you say "god I'm so ugly" you just insulted the people who think you're pretty

When you say "I am so annoying and awful" you just insulted everyone who likes you and hangs out with you

Your self deprecation hurts everyone around you as well as you. It's telling them that you think they are wrong or stupid or have bad taste etc

And for friends who think you are prettier then insulting your appearance also says "if I'M ugly then YOU are hideous"

And I get it. It's so hard. I struggle with this daily

Do you know how many times a day I say I hate myself out loud?

This is something I am still constantly working on. I know it's a real struggle. Especially in real life where the compulsive need to degrade yourself verbally is really hard to overcome

(I try to push it into talking about how much I love my friends and family instead. That helps a little)

But when you're online you have the time to stop and delete the self deprecation before you post it. And you might even get to a point where you don't write it at all. With writing you have time to deal with that compulsion.

And you don't have to write praise for yourself either. Just practice not being mean about yourself online. Remind yourself that it hurts more than just you

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’

[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]

[yourgirlinpieces]

i be like communication is the key and then not tell people i dont like what they did/do and just keep my feelings to myself cause i feel like if i say it out loud its not gonna get better and it'll turn get worse but oh well its getting worse either ways

[sir-fenris]

can I use my "technically inspired cyrus via the prompt response you wrote a drabble out of" privileges to give him a rlly nice warm bath and brush and clean his hair when it's wet and apologize whenever I tug too hard plsplsplspls

Yes! You do have that privilege! You prepared the soil for Cyrus' story to grow :D (Sorry for the wait)

This is technically the first time you ever see Cyrus actually in a scene :)

Self-deprecation and kinda unreliable narrator ahead

-

(Curse of Withering)

Cyrus really thinks you're just bringing him to the bathtub to drown him as punishment, so he apologizes instantly, trying to step back.

When he realizes you're allowing him to bathe with warm water, and you're even letting him use his hand freely to wash himself... His eyes fill with tears. Cyrus thanks you over and over again in a quiet voice, and says he'll behave.

You even allowed him to use actual bath products! His hair never smelled so nice before, and his body feels so floaty, so much cleaner... Cyrus thanks you again for allowing him happy time (that is, indeed, how he calls it), and he promises once again to keep behaving.

He leaves the bathtub feeling cleaner than ever, floaty in a happy way he hasn't felt in a long time.

When you reach to brush his hair, he doesn't even flinch. It's okay if you hurt him now. After you gave him such a rare happy time, he won't even whimper in pain from the yanks, he'll behave very well and be very quiet.

But... you're not yanking his hair carelessly or hissing about how "stupidly hard" his hair is to detangle. Cyrus knows he has a lot of knots, but you are careful, and even when you tug a little (nothing compared to what his handler does), you apologize.

He doesn't understand what he did to deserve this, and he's not sure how to respond to apologies. So he just mutters, "Okay, ma'am", trying really hard to keep his tears away.

No one wants his annoying crying, and he doesn't want you to be angry at him.

His eyes close from how nice it is to have his hair brushed so gently. It has been so many years since the last time someone had done that. Memories flood his mind, and he can't help but to cry again, but he makes sure it's quiet so as not to bother you. You're being kind, he won't repay it by being annoying.

When you're done with his hair, he's already asleep sitting up. Cyrus is good at sleeping in any position. For the first time in months, he has pleasant dreams.

Once he wakes up to the lonely room, he whispers, "Thank you," one last time, hoping you can still hear.

-

Taglist: @whump-till-ya-jump @floral-comet-whump @paingoes

-

[aannonn]

had the sudden urge to talk about this scene

something something

"i will let you live, freedom in your hands, just help me animate and you're free to do whatever." offer of peace..

something something Second casually rejects

"no. i dont want to." offer of living peace.

something something about the way they don't care.

something something about the way they refuse.

something something about the way they deny the chance to have freedom.

something something about the way they are willing to risk their own life.

something something about the way they don't seem to want to live.

something something about the way they-

-prioritize their friends' lives over their own life.

You are trapped, locked in a tight box with no way out. You are completely vulnerable, unarmed, and much, much smaller than the human who created you. You are about to be deleted, forever and all eternity. You don't want to be deleted, do you?

Suddenly, a text. Suddenly, an offer. Suddenly, a chance for freedom. Suddenly, a chance to live.

That would be good, wouldn't it? You are free. You are alive. Freedom is in your hands, and you can do whatever you want whenever you want, as long as you don't destroy anything and help the human with his animations. Wouldn't it be good? Wouldn't it be cool?

And still… You decline it.

You threw away the opportunity you had - the only and possibly last opportunity you had to be free, to live.

…All because you couldn't visualize a world where you wouldn't be with your friends. All because the mere thought of having to live with the freedom that was given to you so willingly hurts, because your friends didn't have that same opportunity. They were gone before they even had the chance.

What is there to live for? Your friends are gone. There is nothing else to live for.

...Something about the way Second didn't even hesitate- They were risking their own life because they didn't want to live without their friends; They were terrified to be deleted, but after c!Alan's offer, now they didn't even seem to care anymore ; Freedom? Give me my friends back then I will think about it.

I guess this is another thing that shows how much Second was willing to sacrifice just for their friends, even if it costs their own life

argshws thinking about this - Second cares about their friends more than they care about themselves - lowkey hurts awargshhwswsh gosh Sec

[go-whump-in-the-night]

Caretaking that makes things worse.

Caretaking that triggers the whumpee. Caretaking that is then discovered, revealed, and the whumpee is punished even harder for it. Caretaking that fills the whumpee with shame - they're weak, they're pathetic, they shouldn't need this. Caretaking by the whumper, healing the whumpee just to torture them again afterwards.

Just...caretaking that makes things worse.