#this is me. asserting my boundaries. to myself.

[alterousuggestion]

i am allowed to not want to give myself intimately in every single aspect to my platonic friends. i am allowed to want to reserve some intimacy for a different type of relationship. i am allowed to be picky about who receives my intimacy, despite being an aromantic who gives my all in friendships.

[ccaptain]

Realizing that, even as a medicated individual that also keeps going on therapy, I do fall back into patterns that I hate. But I also have back-up plans for almost every single situation I can fall back into and most of the advices I can give myself usually work.

[auntiefragile]

me after forfeiting my own boundaries and putting myself into situations where i’m not comfortable because my parents only taught me how to be a people pleaser and to never say no

[irul]

customary i wanna kmś posting

[torao-chan]

my mother: how shall i motivate my child on his one day off to do the chores i think he needs to do cause he looks like he's doing nothing on this one resting day he's got for two weeks straight my mother: oh i know, i should suggest he never knows when the estate agents or other people who matter may drive by and take a moment to pause and judge how he's running the place and that this could happen at Any Time At Any Moment On Any Day my mother: this surely won't fuck with his anxiety and social anxiety and trauma and paranoia i know very well he has :) me: please don't my mother: too late I already have :) me: i fuckin know you have ;n;

[die-tenebris]

Confronted by the fact that though the way allosexuals navigate the world infuriates and affects me personally, I should not, in fact, extend my frustrations to the wider population of them just because I have been slighted ;p

But also I should get the special treat of being able to curse them bc I think they're annoying + how they conceptualize human interaction wastes my time and demands way more of me than I'm comfortable with. Then, because they're the majority, I'm the weirdo who needs to bend to their ridiculous uncomfortable ways that ruin my life. Like, no, confound you forever and leave me tf alone.

[incurable-cough-of-death]

Crazy that the worst incidents in my life that caused me to end relationships with people began because I drew a boundary

[girlwithrituals]

101 ways to improve self esteem

1) Master a new skill.

2) List your accomplishments.

3) Do something creative.

4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.

5) Talk to a counselor.

6) Don't worry about what others think.

7) Read or watch something inspirational.

8) Stay true to your character.

9) Let go of negative people.

10) Set healthy boundaries with others.

11) Care about your appearance.

12) Welcome failure as part of growth.

13) Be a lifelong learner.

14) Face your fears.

15) Become a mentor.

16) Accept compliments.

17) Eliminate self-criticism.

18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.

19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.

20) Challenge negative thinking.

21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.

22) Practice gratitude.

23) Exercise.

24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.

25) Get good sleep.

26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.

27) Encourage yourself.

28) Write a list of your strengths.

29) Don't compare yourself to others.

30) Avoid perfectionism.

31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.

32) Celebrate small victories.

33) Be helpful and considerate to others.

34) Be honest with yourself and others.

35) Accept your flaws.

36) Don't give up.

37) Practice self-care.

38) Go easy on yourself.

39) Practice being assertive.

40) Practice saying "No".

41) Practice relaxation techniques.

42) Take on challenges.

43) Volunteer to help others.

44) Forgive others and yourself.

45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.

46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.

47) Discover your passions and purpose

48) Groom yourself.

49) Dress nicely.

50) Be kind and generous to others.

51) Practice good posture.

52) Change a small habit.

53) Smile.

54) Don't procrastinate.

55) Don't take things personal.

56) Organize your personal space.

57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.

58) Spend time outside.

59) Notice the good things.

60) Celebrate your successes

61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.

62) Don't take too much on.

63) Do something for yourself every day.

64) Develop daily habits.

65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.

66) Practice mindfulness.

67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.

68) Use problem-solving skills.

69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.

Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:

70) I am grateful for every day.

71) I am worthy of happiness and love.

72) I am in charge of my own happiness.

73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.

74) I deserve to be happy and successful.

75) I approve of myself, right here and now.

76) I am learning and changing for the better.

77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.

78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.

80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.

81) Write down three positives about each day.

82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.

83) Practice laughing.

84) Be proud of yourself.

85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

86) Show respect to yourself and others.

87) Resolve conflict peacefully.

88) Ask for help or support.

89) Complete a daily task list.

90) Have a growth mindset.

91) Be optimistic.

92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.

94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.

95) Practice good daily hygiene.

96) Focus on solutions not problems.

97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

98) Drink plenty of water.

99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.

100) Do random acts of kindness.

101) Create a dreams list.

[fugitive-from-the-laws-of-nature]

drafting the text to my manager that I'm FUCKING QUITTING. this damn retail job finally hit its last straw and I'm not being paid nearly enough to give a damn about the fallout.

[moonmutt]

ironic that i'm so loving and affectionate with my friends but as soon as a friend expresses relationship intentions it's like they start over on my "okay this is what i'm comfy doing" scale and i'm back to moving at a snail's pace on touching and kissing

and then i feel bad bc they feel as if the affection should just naturally escalate and how do i say "no we've backslided i get so anxious over holding hands that i'm nauseated not to mention kissing or anything else"

[snekdood]

ig my biggest issue with fandoms is the almost... false closeness thats there in them? ig since i was a kid and wasnt good at enforcing boundaries and was just excited to find ppl with the same interest I didn't really think about it but be real like, there was a vibe that it was "okay" and "fine" to expose a lot about ourselves to eachother that... i think if we knew eachother irl... we'd hafta be a lot closer than that to see or hear about that stuff...

[specialmouse]

Because while I appreciate that people are trying to keep me safe from harm, in some people’s responses I get this idea that I’m a victim and he’s a villain.. no, he’s just a perpetual loser with undiagnosed autism that gets bullied by his parents. He’s fucking with me not because he wants to manipulate me but because he’s genuinely not that intelligent and has no idea how to process his feelings. And I’m not saying that to absolve him of anything I’m just saying don’t act like I don’t know who I’m fucking LOL

I won’t lie there’s something incredibly freeing about being able to say “no I’m not being preyed on, but I am being fucked with, but also I am doing some of the fucking.” Like idk how to articulate this without sounding insane but. I really just don’t want to be seen as “a 22 year old girl”.. I want to be seen as someone with agency, who has certain level of sagacity that isn’t as developed as it could be, sure, but is at least at the point where they can get themselves into and out of situations without being wholly blamed for what went wrong or wholly absolved of their willingness to participate

[icyg4l]

Should You Shoot Your Shot?

hello beautiful people! i have been so busy with school & honestly, i haven’t been feeling up to par. i have some ideas drafted up but i would like to hear some suggestions from you guys. i am gonna turn my ask box on again! i would like to hear more than just fs readings though. also, i will continue with my halloween themed tarot series! look out for two drops in one day, my lovelies. if you would like to book a reading with me, go to my very first pinned post. thank you! :) without further ado, please select the pile that you are drawn to!

top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: you are a strong soldier, my love. i feel like the person you're interested in has a lot of suitors and because of that, it will be hard to fully capture their attention. i feel like you need to soften your approach. if you're the type to post thirst traps or to post obvious subliminal, this person will overlook you. i honestly think that your best bet is to act unbothered. in your case, being laidback will work great in your case. also, I keep hearing "come harder just because". what I am getting from this is that you need to be more creative with the way that you shoot your shot. you may be surprised at who you may attract.

cards used: ace of flags, the high priestess, five of flags, elder of pentacles.

extras: butterfly shrimp. princess fiona. it's my d*ck in a box! christmas carols. new video game record. papa's pizzeria. shuffle the deck. gardener. fast-paced. fish hooks (2010).

pile two: i can tell that you have a type, pile two. you're the loving, nurturing type. you probably spoil your lovers with gifts and affection. however, you need to know when to pull back when you aren't receiving what you want. in your situation, you should go for it. shoot your shot! however, there is nothing wrong with wanting to take some initiative. however, based on your past experiences, you should try not to go all out this time. take your time. in the past, you could have been ghosted frequently or taken advantage of. you need to assert your boundaries. you are the prize, babe. go in with the attitude that this is not someone you need, but rather someone that you'd like to keep you company. if they want you, then they'd show you that through reciprocated action. remember that.

cards used: ace of lanterns, three of chalices, nine of flags, child of chalices, queen of lanterns, four of flags, child of flags, the house mother.

extras: wasted liquor. "spectacular". popular by demi lovato. hair in the wind. focusing on myself. self-worth. "sweetpea". diamonds dancing. parental issues. abandonment wounds.

pile three: baby, you don't have no business being romantically involved with anyone at this time. i heard the phrase "emotional turmoil". you recently could have gone through a drastic change in your life, specifically more to do with a loss (breakup, loss of a family member, job loss, etc). right now, there is a focus on your time of healing. you need to build up your spiritual endurance. if you are ready to give up on yourself, how can you give to others properly? if you decide to go and deal with this person, you won't be satisfied. this reminds me of a child getting attached to a toy and then ends up getting attached to another because it's newer. that's not healthy. people's emotions are not to be toyed with, pile three. it's possible that your gut issues will intensify if you decide to go against the grain and deal with this person. it's not worth it, babe. just wait your turn.

cards used: death, the star, the castle, queen of chalices, four of chalices, child of lanterns, the moon, eight of lanterns.

extras: sweet potato fries. count your blessings. paint the perfect picture. saweetie. 2000s photos. overly-emotional. comfort foods. sock-it-to-me cake. foreplay. rush. high rise.

pile four: pile four, it looks really good for you. not only should you shoot your shot, but there is a high chance of you connecting with this person on a spiritual level. therefore, this will actually result in something serious. i feel that this is a divinely orchestrated union. it's possible that you two could have mutual connections. it's possible that you could have been in the same place at the same time as them (red string theory hahaaa). i feel like your spirit guides are waiting for you to initiate the conversation. it's time to make shit happen. send the dm/message. it'll all be worth it. this is your time to shine, lovely.

cards used: eight of plants, the brujx, three of chalices, the grande dame.

extras: rose. sade listener. hijab. sweat. forty five degrees. kisses down low. i love the color pink. long legs. picky eater. choosey lover. secure attachment style. papa grande.

[shy-writer-999]

I was excited to find your Sanji fic, but I saw that your blog is not a safe place for Jews. More than 80% of Jews identify as Zionists. That’s 12 million people. A Jew is telling you that by putting ‘Zionist not welcome’ in your bio is the same as telling 12 out of 15 million Jews they aren’t to allowed to enjoy your writing. It is your art and your blog. That is your right. I just wanted to make you aware of the weight of what your words truly mean: You are actively discriminating against Jews—not just ‘people who support Israel’. My hope is that this message is received in good faith and not as an attack. I hope to enjoy the Sanji fic fully without violating either of our boundaries. If I find myself block then I have my answer. Thank you

oh BROTHER. this blog is purely for entertainment and creativity and i seriously don't feel like addressing this nor will i be engaging with it after this. for my rant, see below! sorry to everyone whose dashboard this comes across. as you can see from the egregious length of my response, this struck a nerve.

i appreciate the tone of your message and it seems like you genuinely meant it with patience and kindness. my response is not meant with either. my blog is a safe space for jewish people. however, as far as zionism is concerned, i unequivocally cannot tolerate this ideology. furthermore, i see your equation of judaism with zionism as one that is dangerous, lazy, and singularizing; you should take great caution in aiding the “devolution of Judaism from a set of religious beliefs into a national political ideology” (from judith butler’s “Is Judaism Zionism?”). i see nothing appealing about a national political ideology of settler colonialism, alt-right nationalism, and apartheid.

let's just establish some terra firma from which to work with here—israel is a state, judaism is a religion, and zionism is an ideology. the ideology of zionism is the ideology of israel as a state (since its inception and certainly now, with the likud at the helm). by conflating zionism with judaism, you're singularizing millions and millions of people into one set of beliefs. you're doing a disservice to your religion, and this homogenizing is dangerous and toxic. there are many jewish people who agree with me and who recognize the Zionist ideology for what it is; for two key examples see the organization jewish voice for peace as well as many hasidic people who have spoken against the netanyahu administration (yes, even in Israel).

also, rhetoric 101 - your statistic, '80% of jews', is an argument from authority, a specific type of logical fallacy. whatever you’re referencing (you haven’t named a source) is, apparently, just out there in the ether. what you mean is that 80% of jews that were surveyed in whatever study you're referencing are zionists. but this statistic is flawed—there is no a way to survey 100% of jews worldwide and such a study has not happened. so no, it is not 12 out of 15 million people who are pro zionism. i have no doubt the poll you’re referencing was conducted on less than one million people based in, gee, probably north america and israel. and that's not to speak on who provided the funding.

again, i assert that any nation that aspires to be an ethno-state, and any nation that instantiates and perpetuates apartheid, is a genocidal state. read the writings of theodor herzl and ben gurion and you will be surprised at how openly and proudly they propound that zionism is a settler colonial project.

in the words of aimé césaire: “What am I driving at? At this idea: that no one colonizes innocently, that no one colonizes with impunity either; that a nation which colonizes, that a civilization which justifies colonization— and therefore force— is already a sick civilization, a civilization which is morally diseased...” (discourse on colonialism). Israel is a morally diseased nation—diseased with a nationalistic, fascist, settler-colonist ideology (sound familiar? i’m looking at you, america!). not only this, but the citizenship parameters from which Israel was founded are pervasively antidemocratic and are bar for bar with south africa’s apartheid policies (Israel has pass laws too, crazy coincidence!). who else to better represent this ideology than Netanyahu and Donald Trump? are they buddy-buddy enough for your liking? perhaps the allies of your ideology should raise some eyebrows on your end.

i've fought for the palestinian cause for years. i lived in the middle east and i speak arabic. i have a degree in intl relations with a geographic focus on MENA and nuclear warfare. i'm not the one to lecture about this. i am, at an academic and professional level, an active researcher of the third reich and totalitarianism. i know the work of hannah arendt like the back of my hand (a jew who was, at the same time, a Zionist and not a Zionist, outcast from her communities for her dissent). 😫 please take your half-baked criticisms of my political stances elsewhere. go read the wretched of the earth by frantz fanon or orientalism by edward said.

as for the sanji fic - i truly don't care whether you read it or not. i can't physically stop you from doing so. if you have a problem just walk away from the computer. if you come back to my inbox, i will block you because i've had enough painfully predictable disagreements with zionists in my life.

now let me direct you to my favorite poems by Refaat Alareer, a palestinian poet and writer who the IDF murdered in December of 2023 (in an airstrike, an indiscriminate act of killing civilians, an internationally recognized war crime):

:أيضا كلمات من محمود درويش

وأقولُ لِنَفْسي: سِيَطْلَعُ من عَتْمتي قمر

on that note, i'm never addressing this again and this account will be purely fanfic from here on out.

من النهر إلى البحر، فلسطين ستكون حرة

[cipheramnesia]

Trying my best to be radically inclusive is at times a painful and difficult climb. It should not be so difficult, but sometimes it feels like every day I encounter some newly articulated position of granular exclusionary analysis with the foundational assertion that there is only a single accurate perspective on yet another highly complex topic. It is almost as if, in wanting to create space for ourselves as queer, or trans, or trans femme, we have a compulsion to define the boundaries of these spaces so rigidly that we block out the very wide and complex and extremely not exclusively defined ideas of the rest of the world that overlap with who we are.

I know this is pretty vague, just after seeing perhaps the third or fourth or fifth post insisting that parts of myself, as a trans woman, cannot possibly belong to the experience of the trans feminine, that parts of the experience of other people who do not conform to the rigid, social binary of male/female also cannot correspondingly exist - and all of this because a new and different but equally rigid and exclusionary defining of queer gender experience unilaterally excludes some or all parts of people like me, and people unlike me who I care about anyway - it feels like a difficult climb.

I see radical inclusion as purposefully using every tool and every voice possible to pull disenfranchised people together. It is imperfect and incomplete and contradictory at all times, but the essential purpose remains above all to try and bring every part of our experiences to bear on the goal of an equitable world. It's a big task which can never be complete, but I cannot use a tool which tells me that dozens or hundreds of other tools are not correct.

To use a childishly simple metaphor, it should not be a difficult thing to say "you can't build a home with only a hammer, because you need more than nails to build with," but it is. It truly is somehow the most difficult thing to hope everything in the world isn't a nail and solution isn't beating something down. Anyway.

[trying-harder-then-u]

Someone Unexpected

"Fort Stonepeak was a small town in the middle of the Appalachian Mountains. With a population of only a few thousand, most people made their livelihoods by serving the farmers that worked just outside the city boundary or as members of the lively tourism industry that flourished in the region due to its fresh air, majestic mountain peaks, and clear blue rivers. Maybe that's why I came here? I did need some space after my breakup, but it hasn't worked. All I've done is sit in this hotel under this dim light on a creaky bed and feel sad for myself. Jesus, I need to do something. Maybe I will go to the bar tonight, and then I can at least drink my problems away. So after a shower, I looked in the mirror, put a shirt on, and got going.

Walking into the bar, spots flashed before my eyes as the bright lights flashed. I hadn't been expecting them; it gave the bar much more of a rave atmosphere than I had expected, but when in Rome, trudging to the bar, I had to practically scream over the music just to get a whiskey. Looking around, I saw couples dancing. Great! I thought, Now I get to mope with a headache, but just as I thought that, a clink noise sounded next to me. Looking over, a gay, twunkish-looking farm boy sat next to me. "I hope you don't mind me sitting here; there are not many seats around." His chuckle filled me with a giddy feeling as he laughed. "No worries, I'm not waiting for anyone," I replied, putting my hand out for a handshake. He had a much firmer grip than I thought.

The next few days, I went to hang out with John and began to learn more about him—about his family, friends, and, most importantly, his sexuality. It was another night of meeting at the same bar when John finally dropped the bomb. "I know you are gay; I am too, so I was wondering if you wanted to..." John trailed off. I was shocked as all hell. I had had my fair share of exchanges with other guys, and sure, a lot of them wanted me badly, but none had ever been this blunt. "Sure," I said, winking, "I can give you a good time," and before I knew it, we were heading over to my small hotel.

Leading John back to my apartment, I was full of joy. There was a strut in my step as I led him, and I had to slow down to stop myself from rushing too quickly. Once we got to my room, I held the door open for him and followed him in. The door shut with a bang, and I saw his shoulders tightening. Before he turned to me, "We're going to the bedroom now," he told me. I was shocked. Just a minute ago, he had been following me and gleefully talking about the starry sky and how he couldn't wait to do the deed with me. Now here, he was acting like he was in charge. I was going to talk to him about that, but then I felt the will to fight him on it leave my body as he stared at me, and like a defeated puppy, I followed him to my own bedroom, where he got me to sit down. Looking at me, I could feel his eyes undressing me before he finally seemed to be focused on my face. "I know you want me, but I want to hear it from you," he said. Still in shock at the situation, I stayed quiet, but soon waves of pleasure began to radiate through me. I looked to see where they were coming from, and his hand was massaging my crotch. "What do you want?" he asked me, and as I moaned, I only managed to whisper "you." Smiling at me, John pulled off my shirt and pants and pulled me into a kiss. I could feel his tongue invade my mouth, and I knew this was my last chance to assert that I was in charge here, so I fought back, but it was futile as he continued to slowly pressure my pouch, and finally I submitted, and his tongue began to explore my mouth. This is when I felt the first change begin. I felt inside my pants that my boxers were changing, the fabric changing to be less coarse, perhaps nylon, and shrinking down until my goods were held in a pair of briefs. looking down at them. John grinned; he said, "You look good on me," and I could feel my cheeks go hot as I blushed.

He proceeded to push me down and start kissing what felt like every inch of my body. As he did, my muscles began to shrink and my broad shoulders narrowed, but I still had a muscular frame, just a swimmer build rather than the body I had worked for at the gym, and before long, John was pulling down my pants and staring at my 9-inch. I looked at him with begging eyes as he began to suck me off, wave after wave of pleasure as I neared closer and closer, and right before I came, he moved back to kissing me and finished off my transformation as he gave me a hand job. Ribbons of cum flew out, leaving me with a reduced size. Putting his fingers covered in my own product into my mouth, my neurons fired. My brain was rewired; I was a bottom through and through, and John was certainly my boyfriend, and every night we would make love. That was how it was.

a few months later, and I've finally moved in with him. Of course, I do all the cooking and cleaning at home while he works the farm. Every night, I get to enjoy his hot, sweaty body. I think I hear him coming now. I don't think I've ever been so happy as when I see him after a long day.