#this is me. asserting my boundaries. to myself.

[alterousuggestion]

i am allowed to not want to give myself intimately in every single aspect to my platonic friends. i am allowed to want to reserve some intimacy for a different type of relationship. i am allowed to be picky about who receives my intimacy, despite being an aromantic who gives my all in friendships.

[uncanny-tranny]

Also, in response to the "testosterone making people angrier" myth, I've found that, personally, testosterone has given me the self-respect to recognize and call out when my boundaries are being overstepped in ways that I wouldn't have had the courage (or, frankly even liking of myself) to have done before. This is in addition to me working on my trauma responses, but testosterone was the spark that gave me the will to do this in the first place. When I see people sae that as anger and thus is a "bad thing," I wonder how much of that is just people being uncomfortable with us... having boundaries or enforcing them, and that the response to that overstepping is labeled as aggressive anger.

Frankly, I now actually respect myself enough to care when I am being mistreated. It seems that people sometimes take that as a personal failure on my end because I don't think I deserve mistreatment.

Caveat: Anger is a fine emotion, and it is a worthy thing to recognize and honour. I find that the accusation of trans men* and trans masc* people "being angry" on testosterone is a moot point simply because it is often a false accusation which uses anger as a punishment. My issue isn't that we're "angry," but that our perceived anger is used, often, as a transphobic bludgeon to punish those who either want to transition with testosterone or who currently are, and everything in-between.

[ccaptain]

Realizing that, even as a medicated individual that also keeps going on therapy, I do fall back into patterns that I hate. But I also have back-up plans for almost every single situation I can fall back into and most of the advices I can give myself usually work.

[miamicommune]

big vent abt sex n attraction in the tags sorry

[auntiefragile]

me after forfeiting my own boundaries and putting myself into situations where i’m not comfortable because my parents only taught me how to be a people pleaser and to never say no

[irul]

customary i wanna kmś posting

[feralbnuuy]

I've been kinda living with this slow simmering pot of fear in my stomach as my ex dropped the news a month ago that she was gonna publish an article about me being abusive so I'm just kinda waiting for that to drop so I can just get all the fallout out of the way

[avvocarlo]

like I'm not even sure what it is but across so many work industries it's always the grunt level worker who is to blame apparently. any excuse in the book to counter what you say or did. you feel like you're going nuts, I'm reasonably reflective and can see where something went wrong or where I can do better. does this make any sense?

[lith-myathar]

.

[spade-club]

:/ fighting with my partner atm. We rarely ever do and if we are fighting its over this very thing. I got real close to breaking up with them. Its so hard to weigh how I feel and what I should do here. I just want to take a nap. I'm so tired. But I'm at work and when I get home we have to finish talking. I just want to sleep before thinking about all this any more. That last half hour of my shift energy boost better fucking be enough. It never feels like it will be but I always get everything done somehow.

[dragonhotcoffee]

Crazy that the worst incidents in my life that caused me to end relationships with people began because I drew a boundary

[glittertimes]

Everytime I end any kind of relationship I just turn to all my little hobbies and I’m just like I can play 3 instruments! and I can write! and I can draw! and I keep letting all these shitty insecure people who aren’t half as talented as me make me feel anxious all the time just because I care and don’t want to treat them the way ppl treated me as a kid!

[fugitive-from-the-laws-of-nature]

drafting the text to my manager that I'm FUCKING QUITTING. this damn retail job finally hit its last straw and I'm not being paid nearly enough to give a damn about the fallout.

[muttmutt]

ironic that i'm so loving and affectionate with my friends but as soon as a friend expresses relationship intentions it's like they start over on my "okay this is what i'm comfy doing" scale and i'm back to moving at a snail's pace on touching and kissing

and then i feel bad bc they feel as if the affection should just naturally escalate and how do i say "no we've backslided i get so anxious over holding hands that i'm nauseated not to mention kissing or anything else"

[girlwithrituals]

101 ways to improve self esteem

1) Master a new skill.

2) List your accomplishments.

3) Do something creative.

4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.

5) Talk to a counselor.

6) Don't worry about what others think.

7) Read or watch something inspirational.

8) Stay true to your character.

9) Let go of negative people.

10) Set healthy boundaries with others.

11) Care about your appearance.

12) Welcome failure as part of growth.

13) Be a lifelong learner.

14) Face your fears.

15) Become a mentor.

16) Accept compliments.

17) Eliminate self-criticism.

18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.

19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.

20) Challenge negative thinking.

21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.

22) Practice gratitude.

23) Exercise.

24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.

25) Get good sleep.

26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.

27) Encourage yourself.

28) Write a list of your strengths.

29) Don't compare yourself to others.

30) Avoid perfectionism.

31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.

32) Celebrate small victories.

33) Be helpful and considerate to others.

34) Be honest with yourself and others.

35) Accept your flaws.

36) Don't give up.

37) Practice self-care.

38) Go easy on yourself.

39) Practice being assertive.

40) Practice saying "No".

41) Practice relaxation techniques.

42) Take on challenges.

43) Volunteer to help others.

44) Forgive others and yourself.

45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.

46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.

47) Discover your passions and purpose

48) Groom yourself.

49) Dress nicely.

50) Be kind and generous to others.

51) Practice good posture.

52) Change a small habit.

53) Smile.

54) Don't procrastinate.

55) Don't take things personal.

56) Organize your personal space.

57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.

58) Spend time outside.

59) Notice the good things.

60) Celebrate your successes

61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.

62) Don't take too much on.

63) Do something for yourself every day.

64) Develop daily habits.

65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.

66) Practice mindfulness.

67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.

68) Use problem-solving skills.

69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.

Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:

70) I am grateful for every day.

71) I am worthy of happiness and love.

72) I am in charge of my own happiness.

73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.

74) I deserve to be happy and successful.

75) I approve of myself, right here and now.

76) I am learning and changing for the better.

77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.

78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.

80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.

81) Write down three positives about each day.

82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.

83) Practice laughing.

84) Be proud of yourself.

85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

86) Show respect to yourself and others.

87) Resolve conflict peacefully.

88) Ask for help or support.

89) Complete a daily task list.

90) Have a growth mindset.

91) Be optimistic.

92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.

94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.

95) Practice good daily hygiene.

96) Focus on solutions not problems.

97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

98) Drink plenty of water.

99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.

100) Do random acts of kindness.

101) Create a dreams list.

[snekdood]

ig my biggest issue with fandoms is the almost... false closeness thats there in them? ig since i was a kid and wasnt good at enforcing boundaries and was just excited to find ppl with the same interest I didn't really think about it but be real like, there was a vibe that it was "okay" and "fine" to expose a lot about ourselves to eachother that... i think if we knew eachother irl... we'd hafta be a lot closer than that to see or hear about that stuff...