#this is a thing I made up on a discord for my friends

[miyamiwu]

The examples in the notes are all very valid. But as someone who speaks two languages that are closely related, the scenario above is actually not that unrealistic. In fact, it can even happen a lot.

My mother tongue is Cebuano (aka Bisaya), but I’m living in the capital where everybody speaks Filipino/Tagalog, the national language of the Philippines. (To any Filos reading this: I know there’s a difference between Filipino and Tagalog, but to avoid confusion, I’m gonna refer to the language as Tagalog from now on)

Cebuano and Tagalog are distinct from each other, but since they are both Philippine languages they have an overlap in their vocabularies. Sometimes, the two have the exact same words for certain things. Other times the word is just spelled or pronounced slightly differently.

So when I suddenly use a Cebuano word while speaking in Tagalog, its because I have thought that that word also exists in Tagalog.

Example:

While at a fruit stall: “Magkano ‘tong lemoncito?” (How much is this lemoncito?)

Lemoncito is the Cebuano word for this citrus fruit:

The word has Spanish origins (the country was colonized by Spain for over 300 years), and it literally means “little lemon.”

I thought the Tagalogs also have lemoncito in their vocabulary because it’s not like the word is inherently Cebuano. It was only when the fruit seller looked at me in confusion and asked me to clarify what I said that I realized that they, in fact, do not have that word. Their word for lemoncito is only calamansi.

Example 2:

While sharing an anecdote about our rooms in the house: “Sa pikas na kwarto” (“In the other room”)

sa, na, and kwarto are words that exist in both Cebuano and Tagalog.

However, pikas (“other”) is a Cebuano-only word. The Tagalog word for it is kabila.

This time, I knew pikas does not exist in Tagalog. But I was speaking too fast and the words were just flowing out. I didn’t even realize I had codeswitched until people asked me to stop and explain.

Now, the most extreme example:

In a Discord DM: Explaining something long and complicated in Cebuano to a friend who only knows Tagalog 🥲

Yes, it has happened before. It just felt so natural while I was doing it that it was only when I finished typing everything and looked back at what I wrote that I fucking remembered that my friend doesn’t understand Cebuano 😭

I had to delete everything before she could read it because holy fuck that was embarrassing

Codeswitching one or two words? Still acceptable. Writing a long-ass rant in entirely Cebuano despite knowing I won’t be understood? I had no idea what came over me...

Some more words which I suddenly codeswitch to unintentionally: (Cebuano words are violet, while Tagalog words are orange)

To eat: kaon instead of kain

To write: suwat instead of sulat

Dipper: kabo instead of tabo

the color black: itom instead of itim

The words above only vary in spelling a little, so it’s easy to forget that they’re actually from two different languages, and hence, the codeswitching.

Now, this one is not really codeswitching, but it’s still related…

Conjugating Verbs

[Context: Cebuano and Tagalog both conjugate verbs by aspect (fabric of time), which is in contrast to English that conjugates by tense (location in time).

But I’m not gonna go too deeply in that, so for now I’ll just use the term “tense” to avoid confusion.]

In Cebuano, the present tense form of a verb is made by adding the prefix “nag-” to the root word. However, this way of conjugation coincides with the Tagalog rule of conjugation for past tense.

And so, we get this mess:

Cebuano: “I am writing” -> “nagsuwat ko”

Tagalog: “I wrote” -> “nagsulat ako”

The present form of a Tagalog verb requires that you also repeat the first syllable.

Tagalog (present): “I am writing” -> “nagsusulat ako”

Many times, I mean to say something in the present tense (“I am writing/nagsusulat ako”) but I end up talking in past tense (“I wrote/nagsulat ako”) without even realizing it. It’s like I would subconsciously apply the Cebuano rules (nagsuwat -> nagsulat) instead of the Tagalog ones when conjugating verbs...

So yeah, switching to a different language is actually not that weird when the two languages are closely related to each other.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Quick interest check for a project I'm currently considering!

I've been given an assignment in one of my studio classes regarding ephemeral (nonpermanent) art and have had an idea that requires a bit of community involvement.

To keep it basic, my idea involves opening a public Minecraft server for a short period of time (somewhere between 3-5 hours is my current estimate) and recording through the whole duration to document what people use that time to do. Essentially, seeing what kind of things people choose to do or create in a survival sandbox like Minecraft when they know in advance that their time in the world is extremely limited.

I would set up a discord server in advance for those interested to get more information and to connect with other players before the opening, meaning that if you wanted to you could plan in advance as a group.

The server would likely be advertised here, to a few people/groups I know IRL, and in a local campus discord server or two. I would leave it open for anyone involved to invite others. So, you would be playing with strangers.

The server will be vanilla. I'm debating between using in game proximity chat or just letting people use voice chat in the discord at the moment. Obviously using VC wouldn't be required, but I want it to be available.

I would be spectating and recording the event. A ~10 minute compilation of the events of the server would be made for me to turn in for the assignment and would be shown to the class. There is a possibility that compilation or a longer one may end up online afterwards. Anyone else who participates would be free to record, and obviously if anyone wanted to send me their footage to possibly be included in the final edit that would be great

You could do whatever you wanted with the time given. Organize a speedrunning group. Race to kill the dragon. Raid an Ancient City. Work on a build you haven't had an opportunity to use in other servers. Create some weird art. Organize a civilization. Hide in a cave the whole time. Roleplay. Create a fight club. Kill unsuspecting players. Just play casual Minecraft with some friends. Literally whatever.

This would likely be happening somewhere near the 2nd half of this month so that I had time to edit down the footage for class before the end of the semester

[mythalism]

more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3

even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?

i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.

i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.

so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.

veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.

[thefaiao]

Interesting year. I find myself thinking about the future a lot now. I think we've arrived at a breaking point for social media. Sure it was getting bad before, I got that much, but I think it is finally actually coming apart at the seams. I still enjoy tumblr because the people here are now a little older than when I first used it at the peak of its popularity, and therefore a little wiser and with more interesting things to say overall. The lack of younger talent does hurt it a fair bit. Twitter's been complicated for a long time. I remember when I first started focusing heavily on it in 2017 it felt like a cool place to be, and I think that still kind of carries it to this day. I think the biggest detractor for Bluesky is that it just feels lame. It's just twitter again, the same mistakes, the same everything, but more controlled. Maybe that's exactly what people want, but as someone who isn't from the USA it doesn't feel that appealing. Maybe more and more it is harder for people with interesting non-UScentric things to say to find a place to organize in social media. "Freaks" is a good term. Bluesky just feels like twitter but with no freaks, to me. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm willing to eat my words on this but I think other freaks like me probably share the same sentiment. It really would be nice to have something new and cool. I end up finding myself at a crossroads where none of the options make sense. Ended up spending a few years not engaging much with twitter or tumblr, basically just getting my shit together, then had a great year this year with a lot of drawing. Now I'm not sure what's next. I have made great friends and use Discord plenty, but there's something about a public forum that I desire. I wish I had my game ready already so I didn't have to worry as much. It'd be easier to platform myself and perhaps at least toss my hat into the ring to make things better. Make another site? Just one more site bro please? Just one more? It does sound a bit delusional. But even then there must be a way to get something better. I believe there is something better than what we have right now, there just has to be, and I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that.

[iheartyoimiya]

MINECRAFT KITTEN ★

( high school! reader x highschool gamer! niki )

IN WHICH: niki, always immersed in games, teasing you for forgetting your minecraft cat, couldn’t help but notice you had a new friend—someone who wasn’t him. but it wasn’t until one night at a festival, standing beside you under the fireworks, that he finally realized something. and for once, he didn’t need a screen to understand what was going on.

read more !

a loud screech echoed through your headphones as you watched niki's avatar fall off the cliff, crashing to the ground and losing all of their health in the process.

"ain't no way-" you started, but he quickly cut you off, telling you to shut up, not in the mood for any teasing. it was 3:57 a.m. on a school night, but that was the least of your concerns.

"this is all your fault, i told you i didn’t like this world," niki grumbled, leaning back in his gaming chair, his eyes scanning the screen as he re-entered the world.

"zero game in minecraft, zero game in real life," you mumbled under your breath, but having a microphone connected to your earphones was absolutely no help, since he heard every word you said.

"you're so not funny, i get tons," niki clicked his tongue, watching the village come into view as he sprinted toward it.

"yeah, tons of bad grades," you laughed, taking your eyes off the screen for a moment. a soft click echoed from outside, and you noticed a light flicker on from beneath your door, casting a faint glow across the floor.

as he was about to curse you out, the sound of footsteps creaked through the house. you quickly lowered the screen’s brightness and muttered, "my mom’s awake, i’ll see you tomorrow, niki, bye!"

"but wait, what about our cat-" he started, but you disconnected from the discord call, your modded avatar vanishing from the minecraft world he’d created. now the only thing he had left to do, was to sleep, as you were gone.

the next day came pretty quickly, during lunch, you made your way to his classroom. your found him sitting at his desk, hunched over, eyes glued to his nintendo switch. he barely noticed as you slid into the seat in front of him, pulling out your lunch and setting it down.

"so, you really dipped on me last night?" he said without looking up, moving the controller of his switch with a little more force than necessary, as he started fighting a random huge pokémon with his small pikachu in pokémon sword and shield.

"my mom was awake," you replied, popping the lid off your tupperware and stabbing a piece of meat. "you know how it is."

he clicked his tongue but finally glanced up at you. "yeah, yeah, whatever. still can’t believe you left me hanging like that. our cat was waiting for us, too."

you raised an eyebrow. "so? he barely even likes you. not even my cat in real life likes your annoying ass." you extended the fork with food towards him, as he let you feed him. when niki was concentrated in his game, he could shut out the whole entire world, and completely forget about anything. that was the reason why your mom always packed you extra food for him, knowing you were the only one who got him to pay a little less attention to the screen.

you pulled the fork back, watching as niki chewed without a care in the world, still immersed in the game. his focus was intense, and the soft noises of pikachu screaming an attack was the only sound that seemed to break through his concentration.

"you're not even listening, are you?" you teased lightly, watching as he barely glanced at you before nodding in acknowledgment. his thumbs were a blur against the controller.

he smirked, clearly unfazed. "i’m listening. you were saying something about how a little demon cat doesn't like me." his tone was casual, like he was just humoring you. but there was that hint of curiosity in his voice, the kind that meant he was listening more than he let on.

“mr. whiskers is nice,” you scoffed playfully, changing the subject. "anyway, there's this festival coming up, since tuesday of next week is a free day," you said, trying to sound casual. "and a friend of mine, a year older, invited me to go with him and his friends."

niki didn’t take his eyes off the screen, but you could tell his attention was piqued by the way his fingers slowed on the controller. he didn't exactly say anything right away, so you continued, trying to sound casual. "everyone is talking about how it'll be fun, so it's gonna be pretty packed."

"who’s this friend?" niki asked, finally glancing at you, his voice sounding just a bit sharper than usual. it wasn’t so much that he was interested, but more like he was curious in his own way.

"remember, i’m the manager of the school boy’s volleyball team?" you said, leaning back a bit. "that’s how i met the captain, won- i mean, jungwon. he’s nice. a year older, but-“

"won?" niki interrupted, his tone suddenly flat, as if the nickname itself had an edge to it. he looked at you then, eyes narrowing just a fraction. his attention on the game was gone now, replaced by something else. "you guys close or something?”

you raised an eyebrow, sensing his change in mood. "close? no. he's just... he's just a friend. we're all friends, won, jake, kai, taehyun and i, you know. i hang out with the team often." you tried to brush it off, but you couldn't help the feeling that niki wasn’t as casual as he made it seem. it was like you’d hit a nerve.

niki didn’t respond immediately. his fingers paused mid-game, and his gaze lingered on you for a few moments. the air between you two shifted, and even though he tried to mask it, you could tell he wasn’t thrilled at hearing you talk about another guy.

"so, are you going?" he asked, a little more distant than before, but you knew that tone. it was his way of pretending not to care. still, there was something about it that made you smile to yourself. he didn’t like you talking about other guys, but he wasn’t going to admit it.

"i dunno," you replied, shrugging it off. "i might. i’ll see if it’s actually worth going, he said there will be fireworks, and different kinds of games, and a lots of stalls."

niki didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t argue either. instead, he gave a half shrug, his eyes flicking back to the screen. "i’ll think about going too," he said, and even though his words were dismissive, you knew he was quietly processing it.

you let out a quiet laugh, not sure if you were teasing him or just amused at how easily he shut down the subject. before you could comment, he stood up suddenly, stretching his arms out like he had something else on his mind. "come on," he said, his usual aloofness creeping back in. "let’s go to the vending machines. i’m thirsty."

you raised an eyebrow at him, watching as he walked toward the classroom’s door without another word. "you know, you’re acting pretty weird right now," you said, following him down the hallway. "it’s just a guy."

niki gave you a side glance, but his expression was unreadable again. "i’m not acting weird," he muttered, as if that would somehow make it true. "i don’t care about it, i’m just thirsty."

you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, knowing exactly what was going on. niki was reserved, always keeping his emotions tightly locked up, while you were, well, the complete opposite. a social butterfly who loved to stir things up and keep things light. but you knew him well enough to sense that he cared more than he let on, even if he was never going to say it out loud.

two days later, you were at volleyball practice, chatting with the team during a break. the gym buzzed with the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, the occasional thud of a ball being spiked, and the light banter between the guys. jungwon, the captain and libero, had just tried some ridiculous move, a roll across the floor in a desperate attempt to save the ball, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"wow, amazing, won," you teased, grinning. "really thought you were going to pull off a cool dive, huh?"

jungwon groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood up, his face slightly flushed. "it was supposed to be a dive, but the ball wasn't where i thought it was." he shot you a sideways glance. "i thought you were supposed to be the manager, not my personal critic."

"hey, i'm just helping you improve your style," you said, playfully flicking his shoulder. the guys around you, jake, kai, and taehyun, all chuckled, having seen the whole thing unfold.

"style? that was more like a disaster," kai, the middle blocker, teased, tossing the ball to taehyun.

jake laughed too. "yeah, but i'll give him credit, he looked really elegant rolling around on the floor."

jungwon threw his hands up in defeat. "you're all jerks, you know that?" but the smile on his face gave him away.

as the team continued to joke around, you stayed close to the group, leaning against the bleachers. you could feel jungwon inch a little closer as he joked back, and you teased him some more, throwing playful comments his way. it was all casual, but you couldn't help noticing how natural it felt being around the guys, especially with jungwon close enough that his shoulder brushed yours every now and then.

just then, the doors to the gym swung open with a loud creak, and niki walked in, his eyes scanning the room. as soon as he saw you, his gaze darkened, and he made a beeline for the entrance to the court, his hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets, his expression closed off.

you immediately spotted him and froze for a second. your heart did that funny little skip it always did when you saw him, but you quickly forced it back down, trying to play it cool. "hey," you called out, waving as you approached him. "you never come to practice, what's up?"

niki glanced at you, but his eyes quickly darted to the group of guys around you. you could tell he wasn't exactly thrilled by the scene. "nothing," he muttered, but his voice was a little more clipped than usual. "just wanted to ask you something."

you raised an eyebrow. "what's going on? you look like you've seen a ghost."

niki didn't answer right away. his gaze flicked over to jungwon and the others for a second before his eyes landed back on you. "you told me you'd go to the game store with me today," he said, his tone low but definitely a little frustrated. "i left you a hundred messages, but you completely forgot."

you blinked, momentarily thrown off by his bluntness. "oh, crap," you muttered, cursing under your breath. "i'm so sorry, i totally spaced and forgot to tell you about staying later. i got caught up here with practice, we’re meeting another school tomorrow and-"

"i know," niki interrupted, his voice flat. "it's fine." but you could tell it wasn't fine. it never was with niki. when he said it was fine, that usually meant he was irritated and pretending it wasn't a big deal.

you winced, guilt crawling up your spine. "hey, i really am sorry, okay? i didn't mean to leave you hanging, i promise i’ll make it up to you."

there was a moment of silence, then niki sighed, looking around at the guys. he seemed to hesitate for a second before he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. "whatever. just don't forget again."

you nodded quickly, catching the faint flicker of irritation in his eyes. "i won't. promise. how about we walk back home together alright? i’ll buy you something from the convenience store. practice ends in about fifteen minutes."

niki glanced at the gym’s double doors, then back at you. "fine," he said shortly, but there was a hint of resignation in his voice, like he was done with the whole thing but didn't want to make it a bigger issue. "i’ll wait for you."

you gave him a quick smile, trying to make up for it. "thanks for understanding, niki." he didn't respond, but the tension in his posture seemed to ease just a little as he turned to head up to the highest bleachers. your eyes followed close behind, glancing back at the guys, who were still laughing and messing around.

later that week, friday evening, you were sitting at home, boredom creeping in as you scrolled through your phone. without much else to do, you hopped onto discord and checked your friends list, only to see niki’s activity status showing he’d been on genshin impact for the last 14 hours.

you couldn’t help but laugh a little, shaking your head at how dedicated, or maybe just obsessed, he could get over things. the thought of him locking himself in his room all day just to farm for a character was both amusing and slightly concerning.

without a second thought, you tapped on his profile and hit the video call button. it rang for a few moments before niki’s face appeared on screen, his hair slightly messy, eyes half-lidded, and an unmistakable paleness to his skin.

"hey," you said, raising an eyebrow. "what’s going on with you? you look like you’ve been through a war zone."

niki groaned, clearly annoyed at the interruption, but there was a slight rasp in his voice when he answered. "i’m sick," he muttered, sounding a little congested. "i already told you, didn’t feel like going to school today." his face scrunched up as he wiped his nose, clearly not in the best shape.

you squinted at him through the screen. he looked like he wasn’t exaggerating. his usual energy was gone, replaced with a tiredness that made him look more exhausted than usual. "sick? are you sure?" you asked, your tone softening. "you look like you haven’t slept in days. you should be resting."

niki rolled his eyes, clearly not wanting to hear it. "i’m fine," he muttered, shifting the camera angle to show his screen. genshin impact was open, and he was in the middle of a mission, talking with npc’s. "i’m just trying to farm primos for xiao."

you let out an exasperated sigh, shaking your head. "niki, seriously? you’re sick, and you’re still playing that stupid game?" you almost couldn’t believe it. you were the one who got him to play hoyoverse games, but he was the one who ended up playing more than you. "you’re gonna make yourself worse."

he looked back at you, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, though it was a little strained. "well, what else am i supposed to do? i’m already stuck at home. i’m on five pity, and the banner is coming out tomorrow." he sighed.

you rolled your eyes. "fine, fine. but if you’re so determined to farm, i’ll help you. just rest, okay? i’ll log into your account from here, get your missions done and farm domains."

niki gave you a half-smile, knowing full well he was probably better at the game than most people, but also knowing you were ridiculously good at it. "you’d do that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah," you said, leaning back against your chair and grabbing your keyboard to search for the game. "go make yourself some soup or something. i’ll get you all your xiao mats up, emo boy."

"don’t call me that. i hate that you’re better at this than me," niki muttered under his breath, but you could hear the faint amusement in his voice. "whatever, i still beat you at mario kart. just get me the stuff already. i need it."

"damn, not even a thank you," you said mockingly, already loading up your own game. you shot him one last look through the phone, noticing the way his shoulders seemed to relax just a little, like he was grateful for the help, even if he didn’t show it.

"thank you," he said quietly, the exhaustion finally showing in his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, as he hoped he would get better soon, but nothing seemed to go his way these past couple of days.

niki spent the whole weekend locked up in his room, barely able to escape his mother and sister’s watchful eye. they insisted he stay inside, rest, and recover. especially with the festival coming up and you telling them about inviting him. "y/n won’t want you being sick," she had told him, her voice gentle but firm. "you could use this as a chance to make more friends too, with the volleyball kids she hands out with."

niki, feeling exhausted but too tired to argue, spent the day in his computer or scrolling aimlessly through his phone, but his mind kept drifting to you and the festival. he knew you’d probably end up ditching him for jungwon. after all, you two were practically inseparable, always surrounded by people. you were made for that world, always the social extrovert, flitting from one group to the next, effortlessly fitting in.

and jungwon? he was just like you, outgoing, friendly, always in the center of everything. it made sense, right? you two should end up together. he was a perfect match for you.

but then there was niki, sitting in his room, playing games, not bothering with social stuff. he was reserved, quiet, the guy who stayed on the sidelines and didn’t need to be the center of attention. maybe he wasn’t made for your world. maybe he wasn’t even someone you’d think twice about, even if you told him you considered him your best friend.

it was a stupid thought, but it lingered in the back of his mind until the buzz of his phone broke him out of it.

he glanced down and saw your name on the screen. ‘what now?’ he thought, his heart giving an odd little flutter in his chest, but he quickly opened the message anyway.

‘hey, guess what? i got you the zelda game card you wanted for your nintendo! it’s been out of stock for a while, but i managed to grab one for you. i know you’ve been looking for it! i hope you get better in time for the festival, and for this to cheer you up. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡’

niki’s eyes widened as he stared at the picture of the game attached to your message. it was exactly what he’d wanted, and he had no idea how you’d gotten it. he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone in a while, so how did you even know? his chest tightened. it wasn’t just the gift. it was the fact that you remembered. you didn’t do this for anyone else. not for jungwon, not for some other guy. you did it for him.

and then, as he stared at the message, it hit him all at once.

you cared. you cared about him. and that made him feel... well, he wasn’t sure exactly how it made him feel, but it felt different, like you were someone who saw him in a way others didn’t. not just as the quiet guy who played video games, but as someone worth thinking about, someone worth doing something nice for.

niki’s face flushed. ‘damn it,’ he thought, running a hand through his hair. he liked you. he liked you a lot more than he realized, and that realization hit him harder than he was ready for. he quickly typed back, his fingers moving almost too fast for him to keep up with his own thoughts.

‘you didn’t have to do that… but thanks. really. it means a lot.’

he stared at the message for a second, unsure if he should add anything more. but he left it at that, feeling a little awkward, a little embarrassed by how vulnerable he felt. he put his phone down on the bed, his heart still racing in his chest. he tried to shake off the feeling, but it didn’t work. something had shifted. and now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

it wasn’t just the way you smiled, or how your eyes softened when you spoke to him, it was the little things. the way you noticed when his mood shifted, how you always seemed to understand him without needing to say a word. you made him feel seen in ways no one else had, and he didn’t know when it had happened, but somewhere between your shared moments of silence and laughter, his heart had quietly slipped into a place he wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

you cared about him. and niki, with a soft blush creeping up his neck, was finally ready to admit it to himself. he was head over heels for you. and he had to make sure you knew about it, only, he had no idea how.

tuesday night, the festival was in full swing, the park buzzing with life. strings of twinkling lights hung overhead, casting a warm, golden glow over everything below. bright red lanterns danced in the evening breeze, and the distant hum of music mixed with the laughter of families enjoying the night.

everywhere you looked, there were games, colorful booths with prizes, spinning wheels of fortune, and carnival rides that lit up the dark sky with neon colors. the sweet scent of cotton candy, roasted chestnuts, and sizzling food wafted through the air, drawing people toward the food stalls. couples walked hand in hand, kids ran around excitedly, and the whole scene felt like something out of a dream.

you stood at the entrance of the park, your fingers tapping nervously against your phone. the boys from the volleyball team were around you, chatting and laughing, but your attention kept drifting back to the screen. you had dressed up in your prettiest clothes, hoping to catch his attention. you had even taken the time with your makeup, but despite your effort, you couldn’t shake the growing feeling of disappointment.

you had texted him. called him. multiple times. but niki hadn’t replied, hadn’t even read your messages. the little ‘delivered’ icon beside each one seemed to mock you, and with each passing minute, the knot in your stomach tightened. it was starting to feel like he had bailed on you completely, leaving you standing there, vulnerable, in front of your friends.

jungwon, who had been standing just a little further from you with a lighthearted grin on his face, seemed to sense your unease. his gaze softened as he walked over, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. “hey,” he said, his voice calm and reassuring, “i know you were hoping niki would show up, but… don’t let it ruin the night, okay? you look great. and we’re all here with you. it’s the festival, after all.”

you nodded, trying to smile, but the weight of your disappointment was hard to shake. jungwon noticed, his eyes sparkling with the familiar warmth that made him so easy to be around. “and if it helps,” he continued, “i’ll buy you and the guys some strawberries with chocolate and marshmallows. how about that? it’ll lighten up the mood.”

you laughed softly, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips. “you know me too well.”

jungwon’s grin widened. “it’s my job to know my friends,” he said with a wink. “come on, let’s enjoy the festival. there’s still plenty of fun to be had.” his words were comforting, but there was a part of you that still couldn’t help but feel that small sting of disappointment. you tried to push it aside, focusing instead on the atmosphere around you. on the lights, the laughter, and the simple joy of being surrounded by people who cared about you. maybe the night wouldn’t go exactly as you’d imagined, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t still be special.

just as you were about to nod and join the others, a sudden vibration from your phone made your heart skip a beat. it was a notification. niki had finally read your messages. your heart raced as you opened the chat, only to be met with a single, short text from him. ‘running late. konon didn’t like all of my clothing choices. said i looked too gloomy. be there soon.’

a sigh of relief escaped your lips, but it came with a tinge of guilt for doubting him in the first place. still, as you glanced up at the bright lights of the festival, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of excitement. maybe niki was running late, but at least he wasn’t gone. and with the boys around you, it seemed the night was still full of promise.

"guess what?" you said, looking up at jungwon. "he’s on his way. niki’s coming."

jungwon gave you a knowing smile, his eyes sparkling. “that’s great, tell him we’re either at the food stalls or in line for a game. now, let’s get those strawberries, yeah?”

the group of you laughed and joked as you ate, the mood lightening with each bite. it felt good to be surrounded by your friends. even if niki had made you wait, the night was still shaping up to be fun. after finishing the strawberries, you all made your way toward the ferris wheel, the soft music from the ride drifting through the air. the line wasn’t too long, and the boys were excited, already bickering over who would be paired with who.

just as you were about to get in line, you saw him. niki. he came rushing toward the crowd, his footsteps quick, his eyes scanning the people. his hair was slightly messy, and he looked a little out of breath, like he had sprinted the whole way there. he looked around frantically, and just as he caught sight of your group, his expression softened, a small, sheepish grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

“sorry, sorry,” he muttered, breathless, “konon and my mom made me change my clothes like a hundred times. i swear, she’s always making me late for everything.”

you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the tension from earlier melt away. "it’s okay," you said with a smile, but your heart was racing a little faster now, just from seeing him. "you made it."

niki gave you a quick nod, his eyes shifting to the boys around you. “hey. what’s up?” he greeted them with a relaxed wave. despite the rush, he seemed completely at ease now. it was like all the nervousness from earlier had disappeared. he wasn’t bothered by your friends anymore. he wasn’t worried about the fact that you were all together, laughing, sharing the night. instead, there was only one thing on his mind, you, and how pretty you looked tonight.

kai playfully clapped him on the back. “you’re so late, man, but glad you made it. the ride’s about to start. get in line, you go with y/n.”

niki gave a slight roll of his eyes, but there was no real frustration there. in fact, he was beaming, his gaze flickering back to you. for a moment, the world felt a little quieter, like everything around you had blurred out, and it was just the two of you standing there, with the bright lights of the festival surrounding you like a halo.

you glanced at him, and when his eyes met yours, there was something new in them. something more confident, something certain. niki smiled softly, and this time, it wasn’t that carefree grin he usually wore when he was teasing. this one was different. this one was filled with meaning.

“you look good tonight,” he said quietly, his words just for you.

your heart skipped, a smile tugging at your lips before you could stop it. “thanks,” you replied, your voice softer than usual. “you don’t look too bad yourself, niki.”

you and niki, along with the rest of the group, had eventually made your way into the ferris wheel, the towering structure glowing against the night sky. you could hear the soft creaking of the wheel as it spun, the occasional shout of excitement from people already on the ride. the boys were already joking around, kai teasing taehyun from the carriage ahead. but for you, the excitement was mixed with a twinge of unease.

you didn’t really like heights.

you were trying to keep calm, to play it cool, but you felt that familiar knot in your stomach tightening as you looked around. niki must have noticed, because when you both settled in, he shot you a quick glance.

“you okay?” he asked softly, his voice a mix of concern and teasing. “i know you’re not exactly a fan of this.”

you laughed nervously, trying to act nonchalant. “i’m fine. it’s fine,” you said, though your grip on the side of the carriage betrayed you.

niki raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced, but instead of saying anything more, he simply reached over and took your hand. his fingers intertwined with yours, offering comfort in that simple gesture. as the ride started moving, you felt your heart race a little, but his hand in yours made it feel a little more manageable. with him there, you could breathe just a little easier.

the carriage slowly ascended, and you tried to focus on the view, forcing yourself to look out at the twinkling lights of the festival below. but as the wheel climbed higher and higher, the world around you seemed to tilt, and you instinctively squeezed niki’s hand tighter. you could hear the distant laughter and chatter from the crowd, but the heights, those dizzying heights, made everything feel overwhelming.

“don’t worry, you’re safe with me,” niki murmured, his voice calm as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “i won’t let anything happen to you.”

his words, quiet and reassuring, helped settle some of the panic in your chest, though your heart still fluttered with nerves. he shifted slightly, leaning in closer as the ride made its way to the top, the festival sprawling beneath you like a patchwork of lights and colors. from up here, you could see everything, the food stalls, the carnival games, the laughter of families far below. it was beautiful, breathtaking, but the height still made your stomach churn.

as you reached the very top of the wheel, the carriage slowly came to a halt. for a moment, the ride felt suspended in time, like the entire world below you was frozen. you tried to focus on the view, but your heartbeat quickened, and your palms began to sweat.

then, suddenly, the speakers crackled, and a calm, neutral voice echoed from below. “we apologize for the inconvenience, but it seems the ferris wheel has experienced a slight malfunction. please remain seated. we will resolve the issue within the next few minutes.”

this had to be a sick joke.

your breath caught in your throat. a malfunction? the words hit you harder than they should have. panic surged in your chest as the wheel remained still, suspended high in the air. below, everything seemed so distant, too far away, and you were stuck up here, vulnerable and exposed.

niki immediately noticed the shift in your demeanor. his hand tightened around yours, and he moved closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. “hey, hey,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “it’s alright. it’s just a small problem. they’ll fix it. everything’s fine.”

but it didn’t feel fine. your mind raced, your breathing quickened, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. you hated being stuck in places like this, unable to move, unable to control anything.

niki must have sensed your fear, because without saying another word, he shifted closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. “i’m here,” he whispered, his voice steady. “nothing’s going to happen. just breathe, okay? i’ve got you.”

you tried to steady your breathing, but it was hard. the space around you felt so open, and you couldn't shake the sense of vertigo creeping up. but niki’s presence beside you was like an anchor, grounding you in a way nothing else could. his steady grip on your hand and his arm around you offered a sense of security, his warmth a comfort amidst the rising panic.

he didn’t let go of you. his fingers gently traced circles against your palm as he held you close, his voice soft but constant, reassuring you that everything would be okay “we’re fine,” he murmured. “just focus on me. focus on my voice, okay? i’m right here.”

you nodded, trying to calm your racing thoughts. his closeness, his steady presence, helped push back the panic that had threatened to consume you. the ride was still paused, but you felt a little more at ease with each passing second, comforted by the way he held you, by the way he made you feel safe in a place that usually made you feel so small and vulnerable.

and as you looked out at the view again, it wasn’t quite as overwhelming. it was still beautiful, and though the world was far below you, niki was there, right beside you. and for once, it didn’t feel so bad to be up here.

you leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his arm around your body and the gentle pressure of his hand still holding yours. it was strange, how in the midst of all that panic, just being near him made everything feel better.

after a few more seconds of silence, you glanced over at him, managing a small smile despite yourself. "if they take too long to fix this, we’re going to miss the fireworks," you said, trying to make light of the situation. the fireworks were supposed to start soon, a grand finale to the evening, and the thought of missing them made a small ache form in your chest.

niki chuckled softly, a light laugh that made the air feel a little less heavy. “you really do love your fireworks, huh?” he teased, nudging you gently with his shoulder. “don’t worry, i’m sure we’ll see them. they can’t keep us up here forever.”

you nodded, though you still felt a little uneasy, not sure how long this delay would last. but niki’s voice was steady, and the way he stayed close to you made everything feel just a little bit safer. as you sat there, the ferris wheel slowly swaying slightly in the breeze, something shifted inside you, something that had been building throughout the night.

you looked up at niki, his face soft in the dim light, his expression calm but genuine. his dark eyes, that familiar glint of mischief and warmth, were fixed on you, as if nothing else in the world mattered at that moment except being here with you. and you realized, for the first time, just how much you actually liked him.

it wasn’t just the teasing banter, or the way he made you laugh, or even the way he’d made you feel safe in the middle of your fear. it was something deeper, something you couldn’t quite put into words. the way he cared, the way he was always present, always ready to be there when you needed him.

you shifted slightly in your seat, feeling a little vulnerable with this realization, but you couldn’t hold it back any longer. your heart was beating a little faster, but it wasn’t out of panic this time. it was something else, something that made your stomach flutter and your chest feel lighter.

time seemed to stretch in that moment, like everything had slowed down just for the two of you. the music from the festival, the laughter, the buzz of excitement. all of it faded into the background. the only thing that mattered was the soft rhythm of your breathing and the way your hand felt in niki’s.

you couldn’t remember who moved first, whether it was him or you, but there was a magnetic pull between you, something undeniable. the space between you narrowed, and suddenly, your lips were meeting, gently at first, like a question, a hesitant step forward into the unknown.

it was a soft kiss, but it felt like everything. each tender graze of his lips against yours, a shiver of warmth spreading through your chest. feeling him so close to you. for a split second, everything else was lost. the heights, the festival, the malfunctioning ride. they all vanished. it was just you and him, a fleeting moment that felt like time had stopped. you were there with him, fully present, feeling a pulsing connection that surpassed any words.

then, just as quickly as it began, it ended. the kiss was gone, but the feeling remained, like a warm glow spreading through you. the suddenness of it all left you breathless, your chest still tingling, your heart still racing.

and then, like a mirror to the fluttering beat of your heart, the first firework burst in the sky behind you. the colors exploded in a brilliant rain of lights, reds, golds, blues, illuminating the dark sky. they filled the air with so much beauty, but it didn’t compare to the feeling that still lingered in the air between you and niki.

you pulled back a little, eyes meeting his. both of you were silent for a moment as the fireworks continued to light up the night. the air between you felt electric, the shortest kiss leaving you both with something you couldn’t shake, wanting more.

neither of you spoke, not yet. words weren’t needed. you could feel the energy between you, quiet but intense, like the fireworks themselves, a series of bright moments strung together in the vastness of the night.

niki’s fingers tightened around yours again, just a little, a silent reassurance that he was still there, that he was present. and in that moment, you felt the warmth of his hand grounding you, reminding you that this moment, this feeling, it was real. "look," he whispered, his voice softer than before, as another explosion of lights filled the sky. "we're in the middle of this."

you glanced at him again, his face illuminated by the fading lights, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looked out at the horizon. and in that moment, it felt like the world, and the whole sky was yours.

BTW: corny ass niki fic i loveeee it LMFAO. also, a thank you to xiao from genshin impact, and kozume kenma for inventing the nintendo switch.

EXTRA:

masterlist.

[msnihilist]

I wanna make a quick post for those closeted proshippers or people who are scared to put themselves out there in general.

It's no secret that antis send a lot of hate. In fact, I used to collect screencaps. Please, take a look.

Do you see that number at the top? 763. I have more screenshots in other folders, so let's round up to 800.

800 pieces of hate. These anti messages are filled with suicide baiting, racism, sexism, graphic threats, and all kind of horrible things. You can zoom in on the image and read some of the image previews for a little taste of it.

I've been collecting these for two years. There's a lot of them, to be sure. Some of them I've collected from other proshippers putting people on blast, but most of them I've collected because I went looking for them. I engaged in discourse and went into the anti proshipping tags and I amassed quite the collection.

Of these, about 60 of them are directed at me, personally. (I know because I keep them organized.)

So that's 60 horrible mean nasty messages over the course of two years. That's a lot. It's not optimal.

Do you want to see my AO3, though?

Admittedly, I have been posting fic on AO3 for seven years now. So let's be fair and do the math.

That's 730 comments on my fics per year.

That's double the collective amount of anti hate that I see.

Not the hate that I get, but all of the hate that I see, as someone who goes out of their way to find it.

And that's not all of the positivity, either! I've made friends in Discord servers and gushed about my favs there. I've got hundreds of followers and a dozen or so who are incredibly supportive. Every time I post about getting a hate message, I get four positive ones reassuring me. I've even got a lovely anon in my ask box right now that I still need to reply to!

All of this to say, yes, you will get anon hate. Yes, people will say horrible things to you. No, there's nothing you can do about it other than simply not sharing yourself at all.

But all of the positivity is so, so worth it. It blows that hate out of the fucking water, it really does. And you will feel so much happier with yourself once you stop pretending to be something you're not.

[justlovehimanyway]

I've been seeing a lot of posts about being blind-sided by BT's break-up. I'd just like to say my piece (throwing my two cents into the void lmao) in that, personally I have read the ending as always being there in the writing.

I have been operating under the theory (headcanon) since 7x04 that Tommy had initially approached Eddie with interest before coming to the conclusion that Eddie was straight and, therefore, only friendship had been on the table. But then along came Buck.

With Tommy's most recent dialogue in Confessions ("Take Eddie... and die." "I'm not your last." "You would have broken my heart."), I feel more confident about my "Tommy knows" speculations.

This was my initial reaction (in discord DMs with my friend) to episode 7x04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered. (I watched s7 as a whole long after the air date for clarification. As seen in my screenshot- July.)

And then an expansion on it:

And another longer reaction I had after watching the episode 7x05 You Don't Know Me.

These were analyses all made before season 8. That Tommy wasn't "serious" about the relationship. That he had jumped in just as impulsively as Buck. Because Buck is hot, and I imagine it's flattering how into you he acts when he gets fixated.

Then s8 happened, and what was made clear was that while Buck proclaimed to be all in, he hadn't actually made space for Tommy. All those little spaces that Tommy should have slotted into? Eddie was filling them. That's why he was in 90% of all BT scenes. To be compared, to be contrasted, to show that Eddie is already there. And considering Tommy's dialogue in Confessions, I believe Tommy had clocked it as well. Him breaking up with Buck was, in that moment, likely what he thought was best for himself.

The writing has been on the wall. I'm genuinely sorry the pairing hadn't worked out as many had hoped, but to say there were no hints whatsoever just isn't true. When approached from different perspectives, you can and will catch different things.

[junebugdunes]

happy smoky progg saturday folks

[starheirxero]

SOLAR FLARE LOVERS OMG Y’ALL I ACTUALLY GOT SOME EVEN MORE FASCINATING NEWS ON THEIR MODEL. So I found the sketchfab model for Solar Flare yea? I noticed the creator has a link to their twitter in their sketchfab bio and me, slightly nervous that they may not even be aware of their model being used on the show, decided to poke around to see what I could find.

Most importantly, they’ve reblogged fanart stemming from the show, so I think it’s safe to say they’re aware and okay!!

And less importantly but REALLY DELIGHTFUL: THE SOLAR FLARE MODEL HAS HIS OWN LORE. AND HE HAS KICKASS IMAGES MADE FOR HIM LOOOKKKK!!!!!

(source)

(source)

(source)

They also seem to have a connection with the creator’s other OC who I don’t know the name of, but whatever is going on with them fascinates me deeply and I would love 2 more of them LOL

(source 1) (source 2)

And there’s way more of these!!! The creator honestly has some gorgeous models and a TV head robot OC who is the FINEST FUCKER EVER but I don’t wanna make this post too long so if u crave more like I do, I’d suggest taking a look at their account if u can 🙏 This shit is making me go into autism supreme mode I’m so happy (EDIT NVM NO NEED FOR THE TWITTER THEY HAVE A TUMBLR !!!!!)

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

[volivolition]

Another snippet from Meet the parts for wip wednesday 🥺?

I really want to read it when it's finished!

HELLO RED!! :] yes of COURSE, here's a long block from ency for you <3

ENCYCLOPEDIA – On April 2nd, you and Kim caught a culprit during a high-speed motor carriage chase using my knowledge of the higher-than-average PSI most Coureuse-Luxe 645S's are equipped with, Dreamer’s idealization of a movie featuring a similar getaway, the wind telling you of the road access cut-off set up the next block over, and Handsy shooting out the tires of the suspect’s MC before he could get away. This was all in the span of 10.2 seconds. You informed Kim as you were driving back to the 41st that it was “a quad-color compromise” due to one of each skill sub-type assisting you.

[stardusteyes]

Welp. I just fell for a Discord scam so I’m not going to be using that account for a while.

[drabbles-of-writing]

Since the Titan is the witch equivalent of God, does this mean King is witch jesus

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

[dhmis-autism]

SORRY. JUST REALIZED I ORIGINALLY SKETCHED THE STUFF FROM THAT LAST WIP POST IN. MARCH.

GODDDD...

[the-holy-ghosted]

mutuals you can find me in your walls and cupboards and chewing through your cereal boxes at 4 am when youre not looking.