#this includes the lady villains

[wackulart]

We need more hot Disney villains with big noses, chins, sharp features, wrinkles, moles, all that good stuff

I want them to look strange and mischievous

[bethanydelleman]

I was talking about a historical male author I dislike because I found his works misogynistic and the person said, "Oh, well I suppose you don't read Shakespeare either." and I was like, "Shakespeare? SHAKESPEARE?!?! Of course I read Shakespeare, that man loved women."

Shakespeare wrote a wide variety of fleshed out female characters. He wrote Damsels in Distress, Cross-dressing Girlbosses, and Complex Female Villains. He wrote a woman who refused to sell her virtue to save her family and then shamed her brother for suggesting it. He wrote Taming of the Shrew and it's opposite, All's Well that Ends Well, in which the wife hunts down and tames the husband. He wrote men who are good because they listen to, trust, and defend women. He wrote women of all kinds. He wrote women who drive the plot and women doomed by the narrative. He wrote women in love and women who pathetically follow a man who doesn't like them and women in hatred. He wrote sensible women and silly women and everything in between of all ages.

I wish modern authors could write women as well as he did.

[mariocki]

A young Christopher Lee guest stars as dastardly Larry Spence - a rising star in the world of journalism, turned blackmailer and then murderer - in The Vise: The Final Column (1.16, ABC, 1955); the episode wasn't seen in the UK until 1963, as part of ITV drama anthology Tension

[writer-room]

I know this is just beating a dead horse at this point but good god Warriors really does have so many opportunities to write all kinds of different complex tales and relationships, even just as shorts, and it makes me so so sad. Even just the smaller things, the ones that almost hilariously ignore the bigger plot going on around them.

We all know Breezepelt, but I personally wanna know about his kids! I want to know what kind of father he is to four whole daughters. He’s the guy known for having daddy issues, is he a terrible father? Is he just an okay one? Is he genuinely trying really hard to be good? I want to know!

What about the aftermath of Brokenstar’s reign? What happened to the apprenticed kits who survived the ordeal? Did they remain as paws but had an extended training time? Were they put back in the nursery and expected to just go on knowing what the outside world looked like until moons later? What about the apprentices named before they were adults, were they changed back to paws? What kind of generational trauma did ShadowClan carry from Brokenstar, from all the children who died and all the ones who grew up much too fast?

Dawnpelt was known for mainly one thing: the cat who believed, wholeheartedly, that Jayfeather killed Flametail. She is now also the mother of Sleekwhisker, a Darktail obsessed villain, Juniperclaw, who briefly joined Darktail, poisoned prey, and is now dead and guarding the border between StarClan and the Dark Forest. And then there’s Strikestone, who joined Darktail for a bit but then didn’t do much else except also die. Thats two children dead, one who is denied redemption despite his willingness to, and a third child whos very murderous. Does that not fuck someone up, at least a little?

Pouncestep is my personal favorite simply because she has become the background character in a family of main characters. Lightleap is slowly getting a little bit of spotlight thanks to Blazefire, but Pouncestep is just...there. Literally what is her life even like, watching all her important family members deal with the worst thing ever five times a week. Is she minding her own business. I hope she’s just vibing. I want a calm short with her ignoring all the plot.

Moonkitti brought this up already, but she was so right for it, cause...what about all the cats named in honor of the dead? Hollytuft? Sorrelstripe? Fernsong? Even new Bristlekit and Stemkit, and so many more---does that not mess with a cat? We know it messed with Nightheart, and while being named after and related to Firestar I’m sure does some things to a dude, we have other cats who do look eerily similar to who they’re named after. Lets not even start with Cinderheart. With this naming tradition becoming more and more common, one has to wonder if ThunderClan is gonna be filled to the brim with cats that have some INSANE identity issues.

[oifaaa]

arrowette's white mom who is abusive in the comics is not portrayed as anything in the show, so they have not portrayed an abusive white mom but changed an aisian mom to be abusive

Arrowettes mom isn't in the show bc arrowette has hardly been in the show - if the show hasn't even focused on arrowette then when where you expecting them to introduce her mum exactly? And once again dc isn't great with aisian mums as a whole even in the comics lady shiva chooses to leave her baby with a man she knows wants to raise that child as nothing but a weapon and later fights her daughter multiple times

[thepixarau]

I said this as kind of a joke but now it’s all I can think about, so here’s some ideas for the characters’ Final Smashes

Woody: either uses a large lasso to capture his opponent and fling them off the map, or perhaps summons the three aliens who use “The Claw” to pick up opponents and take them off the arena

Jessie: calls out “yodelayheehoo!!” to summon a herd of Bullseyes to trample her opponents

Ember: charges up her flame to go Full Purple and send an explosion all over the arena, scorching all of her opponents

Lightning McQueen: creates a large lightning bolt and strikes down his targeted opponent while screaming “KA-CHOW!”

Ian: grabs his wizard staff and uses Voltar Thundasir on all opponents

Flik: summons an enormous red bird to grab an opponent and feed them to its baby chicks

Joe: plays a relaxing melody on the piano that sends his opponents to sleep and heals 30% damage on himself and teammates

Mater: tows a targeted opponent and drags them around the arena, inflicting damage on them until he sends them flying off the map

EVE: emits a powerful blast from her ray gun on a targeted opponent

Buzz: summons Emperor Zurg to shoot blasts of large tennis balls at his opponents

Mr. Incredible: his super strength increases greatly as he picks up an opponent and beats them senseless in midair, landing one final powerful punch that sends them flying off the arena

Wade: drowns his opponents in a river of his tears

WALL-E: grabs an opponent and compact them into cubes along with some trash, then proceeds to send the opponent into a trash chute

Princess Atta: flies around the arena dodging large raindrops that fall over her opponents, which can cause them to drown or be pushed off the arena. She will also pick up her teammates to save them from the raindrops

Dory: bounces around on a swarm of jellyfish that float across the map that will sting her opponents

Imelda: repeatedly whacks a targeted opponent with her boot until they fly off the map

Remy: creates a fully-prepped meal that will heal 50% of damage to him and his teammates

Elastigirl: stretches to grab all of her opponents no matter how far away they are and will knock them together so they pass out (if she has only one opponent she will punch them and send them flying out of the arena)

Sulley: emits a roar so loud it shakes the arena and causes rocks and rubble to come crashing down on his opponents

[robynqueenofstuff]

CHARACTERS WHO ARE LIKABLE BECAUSE OF HOW DESPICABLE THEY ARE

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

So I said a couple of months ago I would have to make up a Rise Villain to fit a super specific scenario I had for When The World Crumbles. (Ie the only canon that would've fit the role before was Baron Draxum but this is post his redemption arc and while I could do brainwashing why not create someone new)

Well

Her name is Dr. Theodora Bloodmoon

She and her two assistants Katrina and Anastasia will become a nightmare to fight. Not because their strong, no no no...

Because all it takes is an injection to turn the turtles against each other.

One little poke to reduce them to animals.

Hungry, blood thirsty, cannibalistic animals.

If they survive then they'll have to face the Armagon

[blackkatdraws2]

[Toon x Mobster] Chapter 1: First encounter.

Next - (chapter list)

Jack Desmond was running under the heavy rain with a bag over his head as he had given his umbrella to an old lady on his way home, an act of generosity that wasn't out of place in the whimsical place of cartoons.

He had almost missed the dark shape sprawled out in an alleyway. Nothing too unusual, maybe some ne'er-do-wells or a goofy character caught in some mishap, but somehow, his gut told him that it felt different. Disturbingly out of place.

Hesitant yet worried, he trudges closer, his shoes being tainted with red as he knelt down beside the dark figure. “Hey, buddy, you alright?” he called out, voice full of concern. His fingers tentatively touched the man’s shoulder.

Jack gasped, pulling his hand back quickly. His fingers were smeared with something deeply red and thick. His brain blanks out as he processes what he's seeing. Ketchup? Paint? No, wait-

His spine crawls at the sight and he jolts up, gripping his wrist as if he'd just been burned by fire, confused eyes shaking yet staying transfixed on the injured person as he stumbles backwards. He takes a closer look at the man's face- or, just his entire self for that matter. Staring back at him was his face twisted into a harsh scowl, unconscious. Deep scars crisscrossed his face, making him look rather villainous.

This guy wasn’t a Toon. The thick dark coat, those scars- the blood. This man was from another Genre, one that didn’t belong in their streets of lighthearted fun.

This was when Jack's mind remembered the news he'd been seeing lately. Reports of dangerous men, bad guys, causing unease in the city. His eyes caught sight of the gun tucked into the man’s coat, confirming Jack’s fears.

The Guktav, one of the biggest and most influential criminal syndicates in the Grim Genre where this gloomy-looking person probably came from.

He wasn’t just hurt, he was dangerous. There were already plenty of news about these people doing serious harm to the citizens of this city, not even including the ones that's not covered by the media yet, and this man here was probably one of them.

His heart pounded in his chest, unsettled. “...S- serves him right.” Jack muttered, more to convince himself than anything else.

But the more he stared, the more the puddle of blood spread.

Jack’s stomach churned. He’d never seen anything like this in his life. The slapstick gags and violence he was used to always ended with a quick laugh and a bounce back. But this? This wasn’t funny. The sight made his insides twist.

Jack glanced down at his hands, still stained with blood. The rain hadn’t washed it away, no matter how hard it came down.

He slowly starts to walk away, ready to head home and call the authorities…. when his heart pounded in his chest, the conflicting battle of his mind and heart finally crashing down on him.

"Oh-! Applesticks!" Jack curses, turning back with a huff and stomping to the man. “This is a bad idea.” He muttered to himself, shaking his head as he bent down again-

Jack's heart nearly leapt out of his chest when the man's gruff hands grabbed unto his arms and pulled him down, bloodshot eyes glaring straight at him. Jack's legs felt weak, his knees buckling and harshly hitting the bloody floor, terrified as the man's stare told him all he needed to know.

Do anything bad and he'd kill him.

The man's eyelids twitched, pupils rolling back. His large body collapsed on top of the smaller man, making Jack stutter as he fell on his bum, unable to balance himself. Jack lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, staring at the unconscious man lying limp on his stomach, staining Jack's suit with his blood.

Jack Desmond swallows hard, his heart wavering. Was he really about to do this?

_

Next - (chapter list)

[miharuki]

𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖁𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖃 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 (𝕱𝖊𝖒)

You were inside an otome game, an old classic that you found while searching for games of the same genre.

Imagine your surprise when you realized you were inside the otome game "My Pure Elegant Love," a medieval-style otome game with nobles, kings, and knights. You had just woken up, finding yourself as the daughter of a duke, any duke. Perhaps for a brief moment, you thought you could have reincarnated as Amelie, the protagonist of this game, but you were far from it.

You quickly befriended Amélie; her sweetness and gentleness were at least forced, but you knew that was the vibe of the game. Perhaps being the daughter of a duke, you could meet other characters, like Claude, the noble and best friend of Amélie in the plot and one of the favorite characters of the small group that played this forgotten game, damn it.

There was also Nathan, one of the strongest and most talented knights in the plot. We can't forget about Kalisto, the protagonist's younger brother who had a crush on her, Luka, one of the princes and also a romantic partner in the plot, as well as the wizard Azrael, and the first Duke Eros, all romantic interests of the protagonist.

Being the daughter of a simple duke, you knew you wouldn't have a chance with those of high status like Luka, the first prince. You weren't the protagonist, but you couldn't help but envy her. Perhaps because she was receiving love from handsome boys? Or perhaps because even in this life, in this game, you weren't loved by your family. You thought that being the daughter of a duke would give you some privileges, but oh, how wrong you were. Neglected by your parents, hated by the romantic interests of the protagonist, and simply having a bad reputation.

You thought you were becoming friends with Claude and that you might even win his love, but that was thrown out the window when they all decided to embarrass you at the prince's luxurious party. You didn't know that wearing a dress that Luka himself gave you would make you the target of everyone's ridicule.

"How could you do this, [name]?" How could you? You didn't do anything wrong! There, in front of the stairs with the prince behind her, was the protagonist, wearing the same dress as yours, but prettier. Perhaps because her perfect protagonist's body and beauty were helping her.

All the protagonist's romantic interests, including the ones you liked on the other side of the screen, were looking at you with anger, perhaps even smiling as if it were planned by them, by all of them, including his highness, who at first seemed not to like you, treating you even like a servant. You envy how they were all around that bitch, comforting her, as if you were the villain, which you never were.

Everyone talked, laughed, and even mocked. "I can't believe Miss Amélie has a friend like that!" You heard a lady saying, looking down. Not even your parents cared about you, at this point, you're probably being disowned by the family.

With tears on your face, after trying to explain the misunderstanding to everyone, after being slapped by his highness and the protagonist, you felt like crap. Pulling on the dress, you turned and ran out of the hall, opening the doors brutally. You couldn't stay in that room anymore, not when everyone was now looking at you with hatred.

Unaware, you came across a balcony, hearing footsteps coming. You were scared; the prince might have sent guards after you after you "lied" to everyone while explaining.

With all your strength, you push through the balcony fence, and as you're about to jump, someone forcefully opens the doors, startling you and causing you to slip, now falling to the ground. Your tears are now stronger, groaning in pain as you try to get up.

It was with pain, dirt, and tears that you ended up behind a bush. You couldn't take it anymore; you were shaking from the cold, crying, your makeup smudged, your hair dirty and messy, your "copied" dress dirty and torn. You've never felt so worthless before.

You cried as if you were carrying all the burdens, thinking about how the romantic pairs and the protagonist were not the best; in fact, they were the worst.

Feeling a headache, you sit down, trying to breathe well and calm down as you think, "And now?"

"What's a maiden doing crying in the middle of the woods?" Looking back, you noticed someone coming, a boy. Turning your head forward, you try to wipe away the tears. You don't like anyone seeing you cry; crying is for weak people.

Then you felt something being thrown over you, a thick, large coat. Lifting your head, you now look at the boy in front of you. His melodic and calm voice speaks as he gently crouches in front of you.

"Can you tell me, fair lady?"

You sobbed, trying not to cry, mocking the nickname the boy gave you.

"Fair lady? The way I am right now, I'm barely even a girl, let alone fair or a lady," you say as you use your own dress to clean up the mess of makeup and tears.

"I don't think that," the boy continues to clean as he speaks. "To be honest, I think you're even more beautiful. You just can't see it."

The boy's hands lift your stained and dirty face. You look and notice the looks he's giving, but they're not directed at the protagonist like everyone else's; they're for you.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" His calm and concerned eyes are looking at you, waiting for your response.

You just look aside before sighing. It's better than nothing.

"His Highness, the prince, had given me a dress as a gift... to wear at the ball today, but my friend - no, Miss Amélie was wearing the same one. Some of her friends started mocking me for trying to 'copy' the girl, but when I tried to explain, His Highness said he would never give me a gift in his life, especially knowing that his 'friend' Amélie would be wearing it today," you almost can't finish without starting to cry again, sobbing as you try to explain.

"They all planned to humiliate me in front of everyone, and His Highness still insists that I'm lying!" You say, already crying again, not noticing the arms going around you. You only notice when you feel being embraced by the boy as you cling to him, crying and sobbing.

"My dear, they don't deserve your kindness or your presence. What they did was extremely awful to a lady like you," the boy says as he strokes your hair and back, comforting you, as you've always wished to be.

You were clinging to the boy, feeling betrayed, feeling used. You didn't even notice the boy raising his hand to someone behind you, to someone dressed in black, a gentleman, but not the prince's gentleman, oh no, not that traitor.

You didn't even realize how the castle was beginning to stir.

"Let's go, I'll take you somewhere else. You might end up getting sick staying here," he says as he watches you cling to him. He could feel your warmth, you were starting to get sick from crying so much. Nomura's heart was breaking at the thought of you falling ill.

"Are you okay with this, miss?" The boy asks before you nod in agreement. Nomura gets ready and picks you up bridal-style, using his own coat that was on top of you as a blanket to protect you as he carried you to his own carriage.

Watching as you had already fainted from crying, he held you gently as the carriage headed towards his castle, leaving behind an important part of the game that was happening, unaware that the game's villain was now holding you firmly.

Do I do a part 2?

[sleepy-grav3]

Amity Park hates the Justice League but loves Red Hood and sometimes other heroes

A/n: I got this random idea so here it is. Oh, and this is good reveal AU ok?

-------

Due to the Justice League mocking them and ignoring their villain problems that were also publicly interdimensional problems, everyone hates the JL. It got worst with the GIW coming in, who blatantly went against the meta-laws (which included aliens, demons and so much more that weren't human from the beginning). They started to think the Justice League supported them.

In the Infinite Realms, however, there's a revenant that many adored and others respected. He did not hold back against criminals. Criminals that would rape, kill, traffic, sell drugs, and more to people. He especially didn't like when they brought kids into this. He'd avenge people the way they should've been: by promising that their abuser/killer/whatever wouldn't be able to do it again. And in the place they lived in, the only way for that to be possible was by major injury, heavy social outcasting, and/or death. Most prefer the 3rd.

And after how long the Amitians dealt with the attacks which eventually came to a slow once or twice a week type thing, they started opening their minds to the idea of coexistence. Well, further than they had. So when people started to cross over and start making their small haunts in their side of the veil, the Amitian's began to become aware of the popular hero Red Hood. He was part of the undead community, which was trustworthy in everyone's books.

So Amity Park started making merch. Most of it was for Team Phantom, but there was plenty for Red Hood as well. There were other heroes on the side, like for Superboy 1 (who they renamed to Supernova due to their hatred for Superman for 2 reasons, the obvious and that he rejected a mirror-born), and Raven (the half demon).

And with this coexistence, Team Phantom had noticed the positive feedback about killing in the name of vengeance. So they went on the offensive, and after a good year of that, the GIW lost funding for producing no results and just taking up resources. The acts were still there, but nobody enacted them in Amity, and nobody actually knew or believed them outside of the haunted city.

Then the Justice League find out about the hero group there due to tracking merchandise after they started to sell outside of the city. Superman was the guy everyone liked, so he was sent over. He immediately got thrown out and was now questioning who the heck Supernova was and when he rejected him.

Flash? Outcast. Everyone ignored and walked away from him. they had the police, who never did anything or even had to anymore, kick him out.

Green Lanter? Oh the poor guy. He had his ring taken away and thrown out of the city somehow. It took hours to find it.

Wonder Woman, they had to be ok with her. Not at first, but once Phantom had a talk with her and people learned that they were cousins through Clockwork (Kronos) and Pandora, they were ok. ish. Tolerated was the best word and she got the info back to the league.

The batfamily took a trip there, dragging Red Hood along somehow. And right when Red Hood was noticed, a crowd began to form as everyone practically worshipped him. There were many victims he had avenged and an Ancient (Lady Gotham) came and gave him the gifts she couldn't without scaring the guy.

At one point, the poor guy even cried.

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, (or hit with some kind of drug while out saving the world) and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny runs for Mayor P.2

kgned3Part 1

Some more snippets of the Gotham Mayor Danny AU!

...

Danny would absolutely try to hire some of the Rouges as his Mayoral Cabinet, I can just imagine Waylon Jones, the Killer Croc, in a Suit and Slacks sitting in a the Mayors Office while awkwardly holding his resume.

Danny: So, Mr. Jones, why do you think we should hire you? Waylon: Well sir, I have something of a reputation and I feel like I would be an amazing Bodyguard. Danny: OK, one question though. What is your opinion on Clowns? Waylon: I don’t like them. Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, Mr Nygma, what do you think you would bring to my office? Edward: Well sir, I am fairly well known for my expert planning and timing skills. Also I can give you fun riddles whenever you want! Danny: Hmmm, that’s definitely a good point. One question, if needed, will you attack a clown on sight? Edward: Yes? Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, I can see that you used to have a very reputable resume Mr. Dent. Harvey: Thank you sir. Danny: I can’t see any reason to refuse your application, but I do have one question. Do you like Clowns? Harvey: Uhm...yes? Danny: I am sorry dir, but I am going to have to reject your application for a job in the Mayors office. Mr Jones, please escort this man out 

...

Danny would absolutely do an amazing job in decreasing the crime rate, just by virtue of the fact that his very presence is destabilizing the Curses put on the City.

But at the same time, his policies are also very efficient, based on Gen Z Humor/Ideas

Danny: As my new Law states, every year the most rich person in the City will be forced to give up 70% of their assets to Charity. You can avoid this by donating as much as possible in the weeks leading up to the Sacrifice Day, whoever donates the most is exempt from the choosing even if they are the Richest, we will then move on to the second Richest, and so on Reporter: Sir, isn’t this just the “Winner Of Capitalisms” Prompt from Tumblr? Danny: Yes.

...

Batman: Why did you just pass a Law that states that all Vigilantes are given the right to kill? Danny: Because I accidentally hired every villain in Gotham, so now there is nobody to try and bribe me. And if nobody tries to bribe me, then nobody realizes that I will only accept bribes if the Joker is dead, like I said in my Campaign. I know that you guys have a no-kill rule, but I know at least one of you who would jump at the chance  Batman: *realizes that Dick has already killed the Joker once, Jason is actively attempting to every day, Tim is chaos incarnate and would do it to feel included, and Damian just really wants to let loose* Well played...

...

Danny: Vlad, I am serious. Leave me alone or I will put you in Soup Jail for 3 months! Vlad: FINE! I’ll just go possess another Billionaire to force them to give me their company again Batman, listening from outside the window: What the f-

...

Danny in every conversation with the Batfamily: I re-respect your decision to not tak-take a life...but I must insist you kill the Joker...for the good of the peephol-People! He is not a good inf-influence on this city and he must be des...troyed. Batman: *Wondering why he sounds like he is reading from a script* Um, I don’t think thats a good idea? Lady Gotham: *Standing behind Batman with some Cue Cards, trying to communicate with her Knights through Danny* *Thumbs Up* Danny: Also I wanted to say that you need to- oh um, ok- to get over the deaths of your parents and grieve in a healthy way instead of adopting every child you see. You are doing a great job kid, parentheses, do not read this par- Oh-Oops. Batman: Hm. I’m not even going to question that anymore.

...

Tag List:

@skulld3mort-1fan @kgne-k @deatlive @alcorbearson @we-ezer @auralykos @dakkapel @alinmenttreasure @lord-of-0blivion @countessdragon @naluforever3 @fylylowo @shadow-otaku20 @dannyphantomphan @heirxofxtime @ourrechte-blog @fantasticbluebirdfan @imnotgrimmjustagrumpyreader @mssagoberattare @elvesandlanterns @space-dreams-world @lizz-blizt @stargirl1331 @totallysmores-blog @screamingtofillthevoid @malice-of-the-sunrise @olivethetreebitch @addie-lover-of-stories @thatonegaybitch68 @asphyxia778 @top7879 @biance-hooks123 @runfromthemedic @dionysuss-big-naturals @the-legal-shipper @icepopstar5105us @

[wonderjanga]

This is a Setup

Billy has a problem. Multiple heroes keep trying to set them up on dates with other people. The worst part is that none of them know he’s 12, and he doesn’t plan on really telling them anytime soon so he’s just forced to go on the dates. Don’t worry though. He has a plan. Or at least Mary has a plan. A plan that includes her and Freddy sabotaging his dates.

Marvel: *trying his best to converse with this lady normally*

Lady: *thinks the date is going well and puts her hand on his arm*

Marvel: *internally panics so hard*

The date was actually going pretty well. Like actually. Too bad Billy was not interested in dating anyone.

Mary: *dressed a super villain crashes through one of the windows* “Captain Marvel! I have come to enact vengeance upon you!”

Marvel: *so relieved and looks to the lady* “Miss? Please find somewhere safe.” *stands up from the table* “Stop right there, villain!”

Mary: “Never!” *flies away*

Marvel: *follows*

They pretended to fight, and Billy pretended to take her to the police but instead flew away so she could return as Mary Marvel.

Reporter: “Captain, what can you tell us about your latest villain?”

Mary: *grabs the mic* “She’s awesome!”

Marvel: *nods along* “That she is.”

Then there was the other time they did this but with Freddy. He also wasn’t cosplaying as a villain.

Marvel: *pretending he wants to be there*

Junior: “Dad!” *flies in from somewhere*

Marvel: “Yes?”

Junior: “There’s an emergency! Mom is hurt!”

Date: “Mom?!” *gasps* “Are you guys still together?”

Junior: “Yeah they are! He’s a cheating cheater!”

Date: *double gasps and is about to smack him before they realize they’d probably break their hand so they just throw their napkin in Billy’s face and leave*

Marvel and Junior: *watch them go*

Marvel: “Questionable means but it got the job done.” *gets up and gives him a thumbs up*

They did this schtick of sabotaging dates until the heroes trying to set him up with people gave up and gave Marvel some looks of pity.

Flash: “Maybe you’re just un-dateable?” *trying to make him feel better*

Marvel: *doesn’t need to be made to feel better cause he’s chilling* “Yeah, it’s probably that.”

Supes: “Oh, come on don’t say that about yourself—”

Marvel: “In fact, since I’m un-dateable, we should stop setting me up with people.”

That got him even more pity glances even though as soon as he left the room, he went to the kitchen, grabbed some ice cream sandwiches and ate them with Junior and Mary in a rec room with a smile on his face.

[hotvintagepoll]

Vintage movie recommendations for getting through these dark times? 🙏 Looking specifically for anything joyous, especially if it's queer/progressive for its time. Thanks!!

ooh ok! that's a big ask, because queer/progressive doesn't always show in the ways we expect in older movies. still, joyous i can do, and as poly as I can I'll try for:

the talk of the town (you knew i would say this). jean arthur, cary grant, ronald colman are all tangled up in all sorts of ways, legally but also including in each other's pajamas. it's free on youtube and tubi last time i checked!

singin' in the rain (you also knew i would say this). cosmo brown, weird little third wheeling queerplatonic ideal that you are. gene kelly, debbie reynolds, and donald o'connor have fire chemistry and all three of their characters love the other ones so truly and with such joy they break all of hollywood with the power of song. (it is gorgeous and sublime that the story is built so only these three ever actually engage with the musical format—the format that is, in universe, the way of the future—structurally equating music and musicals with love. no one else gets a song or a villain number or a little ditty that's not a literal musical number. only these three break the story and heal it at the same time.)

the adventures of robin hood—i swear to god will scarlett is good for nothing else besides being robin's hot little friend. will alone makes this movie queer for me. also, watching a movie about a socialist uprising against a cruel and unjust government sure feels apt! for no particular reason! (this one is also on tubi.)

the philadelphia story—jimmy katharine and cary are absolutely a threesome in this movie and it's a crime they didn't just make more of this movie, again and again, forever. is there a plot? they're all by a swimming pool, it's hot, there's champagne. what else do you need for a film. oh yeah there's some discussion of autonomy and women's rights and wealth and class and marriage, some of which i disagree with, but i think mostly it's katharine hepburn in an evening gown and jimmy stewart in a white terry cloth robe and cary grant standing there not minding in the least. (content warning: there is one instance of a racial slur [not directed at anyone but still there], and one shove. also on tubi.)

the lady vanishes—i love this movie, so much, couldn't tell you why (i can: michael redgrave is here being hot). there are two bit characters who read as queer coded (they are also obsessed with cricket and are mocked for being english by the narrative, which is nice), and there's a weird plucky joy in michael redgrave's performance that feels like a departure from your usual Solid Very Serious Male Heroic Main Character. this movie does trend mildly xenophobic in a very England-in-the-30s type of way—there are shady "foreign" characters and other batshit stereotypes—but nothing I think that would cause direct offense. (let me know if I'm wrong on this though and I'll tag accordingly). this one is free anywhere and can be watched on youtube.

the wizard of oz—i know you've probably seen this before but it's worth seeing again. yes you're allowed to cry at the end i always do

[stellerssong]

update: they did not let lady ochiba be a horrid evil murderess cunt.

like 99% of the time i WILL be like "actually as a woc participating in fandom the LET WOMEN BE HORRID EVIL MURDERESS CUNTS conversation does nothing for me, because in general that conversation revolves around taking female characters of color who have been portrayed as nothing but good-to-heroic in canon and applying totally revisionist readings to their characterizations that play on stereotypical views of women of color as sexual aggressors/morally suspect/uniquely untrustworthy and uphold fandom's priors regarding the victimization and overwhelming narrative value of white men" because that is almost without exception the behavior i see in fandom

the other 1% of the time fumi nikaido is being so so compellingly evil on my teavee screen so never mind all that i guess. let lady ochiba be a horrid evil murderess cunt.