#this entire struggle was internal and the person literally knows nothing about it and never will

[krakensdottir]

Also something really important I want to point out about Aziraphale's religious trauma.

It's often framed as him being directly abused by Heaven, generally emotionally. And while I don't doubt he's been belittled at points - probably not by Gabriel, the iconic exemplar of the Toxic Positivity boss, but we know how Michael and Uriel etc. can be - it also seems like he's received quite a lot of praise and has generally managed to pull off the appearance of being A Good Angel, or at least a satisfactory one. I don't think, and this is controversial, but I don't think Heaven was usually overtly hard on him.

Because that's not how this kind of cult mentality usually operates. Instead, it teaches you to abuse yourself. Your overseers don't have to directly hurt or insult you if you're so ingrained with fear of failure by the culture you were brought up in that you constantly question yourself as not good enough.

It's not as... satisfying, I guess? As an external abuser being the main issue. But it's a lot more real. At least to me, because I suffered so much anxiety over being 'good' when I was a kid, and it wasn't from direct abuse. It was absorbed from the culture I was surrounded by. I picked it up by osmosis from society at large, and it tormented me. I worried, I doubted, there was a time I literally feared going to Hell. And I wasn't raised strongly religious. My mother certainly treated me as a Good Kid, and never gave even the suggestion that I wasn't. But I felt that way anyway. And it tore me apart. Because internalizing that shit makes it so much harder to fight.

And to be clear at this point, I am not saying Heaven isn't abusive. I just think the nature of its abuse is more subtle and insidious than it's often given credit for. And - this is even harder to accept, but it's true, and it's important - it's not just abusive to Az. All the angels are victims of it. Yes, even Gabriel. The moment he, one of the most powerful forces in Heaven, steps out of line, we see that no one is exempt. Never even mind Muriel, who is literally on the lowest rung of the Heavenly ladder and has probably never been told they're worth anything beyond being, you know, an angel, so at least you're better than humans and demons.

It's a contrast with Crowley, who has long since accepted most (not all, there are definitely some deep issues remaining, but they're nothing like Aziraphale's) of his internal doubts and struggles. His fears are almost entirely external. He doesn't beat himself up if he fucks up. He doesn't have to. There are people happy to beat him up for him. So when things go really bad for him, his instinct is to run. To get out of the way of harm as much as possible.

The fact that Aziraphale is harder on himself than anyone else could be is a vital part of his character. He self-punishes. He self-criticizes. He feels awful every time he breaks the rules in the slightest, even though he isn't usually caught at it. Crowley can find some safety in solitude if he keeps his wits sharp and his head down. Aziraphale can't, because he carries Heaven's conditioning with him at all times. He doesn't need oversight, it doesn't take external threats to keep him in line. You don't need direct threats when literally everyone in your celestial workplace has seen firsthand the consequences of rebellion.

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Again, this is informed by personal experience and I can't claim to be unbiased. But I see so much internalization with Aziraphale. He literally can't even accept praise without being nervous as hell, and I don't think it's fear of punishment or ridicule that's his primary motivation. He simply cannot ever be good enough for himself.

That's how they get you.

Anyway, I think it's why his reaction to disaster is the opposite to Crowley's, why he feels he has to turn and face it and somehow avert the horror (or, alternatively, find some way to reconcile it in his head and accept it - because let's be real, that's often what happens) rather than get himself away. He's less afraid of failing his superiors than he is of failing himself. And God, who is, objectively, the biggest abuser in the entire story.

[boy-gender]

How do you deal with guilt around being a man, and like generally feeling like you're "betraying women" or choosing to be something bad by transitioning? It's something I've really been struggling with..

I sort of have two answers for you.

The first is a bit glib, but I think you've got some bioessentialism to unlearn, anon. I know that it's probably not a belief you arrived at yourself- rather, a bunch of hateful radfem douschebags have so often repeatedly said shit like that, that you're a traitor, you're failing feminism, youre just trying to escape the patriarchy, you're mocking what women are, men are evil and youll become evil especially with testosterone. That kind of crap.

Genuinely I do not give it any thought. It's ridiculous on the surface, so I write it off as misguided and inane. There is no logical way to justify grouping an entire half of the population together, deciding that the one thing they have in common (being men) is somehow the defining trait about them (because nothing else is being taken into account, like their sexuality, ethnicity, trans or intersex status, poverty level, where they live, whatever) and then also deciding that one common trait is the root of all evil. I've personally had a lot of experience with people doing this with certain mental illnesses- particularly cluster B personality disorders- and deciding like "yes this one thing about you makes you evil. You have Evil Person Disorder," and seeing how stupid that was, I just applied it elsewhere. Humans are far too diverse, nuanced, and contradictory for any flat rule like "all X people are bad" to ever be accurate. If it's not accurate, it's not useful, so I don't judge myself by it. I literally just block the people spewing that shit and let it slide off like water on a duck. I have enough warped internalized beliefs from my upbringing- I'm not adding more when I can immediately and obviously see their flaws.

So my advice is to block anyone you see saying that shit. You might be beginning to internalize it because of just how often you see it- so you need to cut that off at the source. Radfems are not and never will be allies; they do not have "some good points." Their movement was specifically designed by conservatives to uphold white supremacist capitalism, and nothing that comes from that is ethically correct. I'd suggest picking up Mothers of Conservatism by Michelle Nickerson. A lot about the origins of the radfem/female separatism movements are detailed there, created by fundamentally conservative women. With this new 4B movement shit on the rise, it's helpful to understand how fucked up and wrong they've always been from the beginning. My second answer to you is to look at what manhood means to you. If you don't think you can be objective about this, ask a friend to help. List the traits you associate with what *you* personally want to be as a man, what you hope you transition towards. Do you want to be a financial provider? Do you want to defend your community? Do you want to be generous? Brave? Do you want to be an expert in a special interest? Do you want to make lots of friends?

Make a list of those traits. Then look at them, divorced from the idea of gender. Is being a financial provider "bad?" Is being generous bad? Or brave? Or having lots of friends? Are any of these things bad in isolation, or does your guilt about them come from their association with manhood? Is that /your/ association, or did other people cause you to think there is an association?

For me, I had two formative male relationships as a child. My father, and my maternal grandfather. My father was an abusive piece of shit who liked to pick me up by the throat and slam me into walls, threaten our pet cats, scream at me until I dissociated, called me slurs, hated my opinions on anything, belittled me, believed only in capitalism, is a social darwinist capitalist schill, hates my mom, treated me like a servant and punching bag, and is a miserable fuck with no friends.

My grandpa was an old man who loved scotland and tartan and scottish terriers even though he never had one, loved each of his cats which he had all the time. He collected coins and read about history, he made model planes. He watched judge judy with me and talked about the cases and if we agreed with her rulings; he watched the news from multiple different outlets a day and taught me to weigh them against one another. He loved sitting on the porch and watching neighborhood kids play, and he drank a lot of lemonade. He was a brilliant chemist, provider, raised 4 kids in near poverty, then raised 8 grandkids after that. He would sneak me chocolate malt balls as a "vitamin" and he would tease my grandma by pretending to pick up and lick his plate after dinner. He taught my uncle to garden who then taught my cousin, so all my life gardening has been "mens work" to me. He was soft spoken, curious, patient, and mischevious. He loved my grandma for 60 years until he died.

These men have nothing in common except that they were men. Being a man didnt make my grandpa evil because he chose not to be. Being a man didnt make my dad evil either; he's an evil fuck because he made that choice. They are both sentient beings, who can use logic and emotions alike. One chose poorly. It never made sense to me as a child to assume all men would be like my dad or like my grandpa, because they were both men and they weren't at all like each other. Some categories are just so broadly diverse that they aren't really helpful- if I ask you to picture a mammal, do I mean a monkey or a mouse? Does "sea creature" mean a giant ass blue whale or a tiny piece of plankton? "Man" as a category is too broad to make assumptions about. I know it sounds circular and reductive, but the only thing that makes someone a man is...being a man. Nothing else.

I find it helps to look at a diverse array of men, to see all that men can be, especially men not like myself or the men I know. What does it mean to be a man in rural Yunnan farm country? What did it mean to be a man in medieval europe? What is it like being a gay black man from california, or a hunter living off the grid in appalachia? What does it mean to be a man in a culture where long hair is masculine, or where harvesting plants is masculine, where being a doctor is masculine? What about cultures where adornment is masculine? Hell, what about animals? What's it like to be a male lion vs a male house cat? What do I think about male cardinals, who are the bright lovely red ones, whose color is meant to draw a predators eye to them and away from the female cardinals and their nests?

To me, gender is an all you can eat buffet. It's customizeable. You can pick up or ignore or throw away any traits you want or don't want. Grab things that are feminine in your culture and incorporate them into your manhood in a subversive, gender nonconforming way. Take things that are masculine that make you happy, that you're reclaiming in a way because you may not have been allowed to do/be them before. Fill your gender with the ideals and aesthetics you like. You are fundamentally changing manhood by being a man, by being a different kind of man than any other man. If there are 4 billion men on the planet, there are 4 billion different 'microgenders' of man.

Seems silly to write off an entire 4 billion people as inherently evil and incapable of either goodness or change. It's just illogical. For me, that's enough to discard the idea wholecloth. If it doesn't make sense, I'm not wasting my time with it. That's not an ability everyone else has easily though, so you take the time you need. Try to look at yourself as objectively as possible, as an outsider. As you transition, have your actions become more evil? Are you committing sexist acts? Have you literally betrayed all the women you know somehow? Do you feel yourself becoming less kind, less patient, less interested in equality or the preservation of life? I'm betting, since you're nervous about it enough to ask, that none of those things are happening to you. Do not let yourself be gaslit into believing you are becoming something you're not. Look at your actions, your words. Look at your values and how you live up to them. If you don't see any sudden discrepancy, then you know anyone who tells you you're becoming evil by becoming a man is straight up lying to you. They're projecting an idea onto you that doesnt fit reality; trying to put a round peg in the square hole. Be curious, be objective. Do not be misled, and for those who try to mislead you, hit them with a chunky block button.

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[thebrainrotsreal]

Hypothetically, how do you think Mark would turn out if he never got his powers? What would he be doing? How would it change the original story? If the original Mark met this version of himself, how would they react to each other?

This took me a min to respond to because I am extra and had to draw something about this, but thay just means I was so delighted to take this ask, holy shit. I love thinking about AU's, tysm fo the ask, anon! :)

I don't know of the comics add any details about Mark's interests other than being a hero like his Dad (ex. even comic hobby seems to go right back to that). Nothing about school life stands out either, (besides struggling with geography, a detail I love sm), so he's probably an average student who fumbled hard when he started to get busy with Invincible stuff! So, while I can see the possibility of him working hard and striving for career that also helps saves lives ergo paramedic, fireman, emergency dispatcher, etc I actually adore the idea of him interning at the GDA???

(Okay, note, while I do see him training or getting experience in random roles, Cecil would not EVER let Mark actually be a GDA solider because imagine telling Omni-Man his son got killed. Yikes! So, intern/trainer uniform and not the official solider one.)

I can see him diving into it wholeheartedly, eager to not only prove himself, but help people like his Dad does, kinda trying to get as close to his dream as he can be. And honestly, Nolan would probably be thrilled the last reminder for Colonization Time is permanently delayed (ergo Mark never getting his powers), so I can see him either encouraging this, or being slightly conflicted? I don't know how much he actually trusts the GDA or Cecil, so it could just be bittersweet?

But, I love the idea of GDA!Mark for the potential strain in their dynamic. See, while we can't have the kind of unfolding drama in s1 considering Nolan's slaughter spree might not necessarily happen, the idea of Mark having to process the weight of his own idolization, unable to stand side by side with him on the field, feeling like Nolan feed into the idea he'd get powers, only to end up disappointed year after year could foster some bitterness and/or desperate need to prove himself. He would see Nolan slightly more, but maybe that's just a reminder of what he can't do. Where he can't reach. Nolan having doubts in GDA, would only worsen the strain, how exciting!

Plus, GDA seems to be the classic kind of trust nobody type of government agency that may to try detach Mark's (almost) unshakable faith in his Dad, and could push him to look into what exactly his Dad's past/planet/history is exactly like for documentation, as Mark tries to grasp how much he trusts Nolan and the GDA. If Slaughter Time does happen, then that's incredible drama!!! As Mark, who feels aligned with both the GDA and his Dad, now has to work to find the truth, probably to prove his Dad's innocence, only to find the horrible news instead.

Does Nolan tell Mark and Debbie at the same time, who both already know, haven't told the others, and you got family drama of the fucking century again? Ideally? Yes. I love dramatic irony a normal amount.

I think GDA!Mark and Canon!Mark wouldn't get along tbh. While C!Mark is relieved by the lack of maliciousness, GDA!Mark is literally seeing where his entire life could have been if he'd only gotten powers. 'Cause, while I do think Mark is a fundamentally kind person, it's also clear he's incredible hard on himself which I think crosses over to alternate selves. So, he'd be bitter as fuck. Yeah, they both suffered, but I think the envy would go crazy. GDA!Mark would start questioning everything, like if that Nolan loved his son more for having powers, and if C!Mark just fucked it up somehow, so if GDA!Mark got powers maybe he could've done something different? Said the right thing? Like there's this desperation to know could it have turned out any other way? Was it truly his fault? Was it something he should've said better? I think there's a quiet spiraling despair in seeing the distorted mirror version of oneself and still seeing them suffering. Was there really no other ending? It had to be this way?

Thanks for the ask tho :D !!! Currently trying to remember I have this blog while I fight art block fjgkfg.

Oh! And Bonus idea of interning at GDA still means he hangs out with Teen Team!!! Maybe he helps log injuries, reviews battles, handles reports, memorizing villain weaknesses as base support, but there's this underlying part of him that still feels so useless next to them? I can see Rex and Mark getting off on the wrong foot immediately, but Kate and Mark bonding? Mostly because I want Kate and Mark bonding like please.

[blakemcntgomery]

[BLAKE MONTGOMERY. 32. CIS MALE. HE/HIM] is here! They’ve lived in Asbury Park for [32 YEARS] and are originally from [ASBURY PARK, NEW JERSEY]. They are a [FRONT DESK CLERK AT ROSE MOTEL] and in their downtime love [TAX/IDENTITY FRAUD] and [DEEP RESEARCH]. They look a lot like [DAVID CORENSWET] and live in/on [OAKDALE]. The song that makes people think of them the most is [DEVIL’S ADVOCATE BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD]. 

☆ playlist. ☆ pinterest. ☆ muse. ☆ connections.

━━ ⟢ the basics  full name → blake theodore montgomery birthday → 03/24/1992 big three  → aries sun, sagittarius moon, leo rising 🔥🔥🔥 height  → 6'4" mbti  → entj sexual orientation  → he's not picky 😔 hometown → asbury park, new jersey 

━━ ⟢ personality tidbits - in a nutshell, he's chaos - his emotions overrun his whole life, and it shows - also kinda has a mentality of if he wants to be something he can be without a degree because in the wider sense it's all bullshit and did the dinosaurs have college degrees in business  - that being said, he never sticks with anything long enough to see it through or be dedicated to it, he thinks there's too many options - unfortunately he does fall in love with strangers without knowing them knowing them, and once he does he gets very disappointed and is like “wow how did i miss such a big red flag” meanwhile he's over here looking like a 🚩himself - once a girl he was dating told him he always called people immature or that they were acting like a baby, but really it was him all along who was the immature baby, and that impact it had on him he spent everyday after that proving to himself that wasn't true - he's all about the hustle of getting money, no matter the means  - deep down he's always wondering what his real life purpose is, or if he even has one. he's always combatting himself internally  - he will randomly drop his own lore on people without them asking or saying - he struggles with existential crisis on a daily basis, but mostly about god because he's going back and forth on what the fuck is going on in the universe  - he lacks a filter, or says what everyone's thinking and thinks he's righteous for that  - he may ruin his relationships with everyone, but the one sacred thing in his life is his pets!!!! he loves dogs and cats, and he would die for them or kill for them, no questions asked - he dropped out because he thought he was smarter than his professor - he does what he can to get by because obviously working for a motel front desk doesn't pay all of the bills - whether that's aiding people in tax fraud, or any kind of fraud, intimidation tactics the list runs endlessly - most of the fraud he commits is from the people who check into the motel and it's more or less the skeevy people he can tell aren't the best individuals  - he thinks he wants to be in love, but when he gets into a relationship he's like oh no what the fuck have i done  - thrives when he's living in his own individuality and independence  - screws over a lot of people who were nothing but good to him, friends, relationships, family - deep down he struggles with thinking he's a loser, and he does think about everyone he's ever done wrong, even if he never talks to them about it, or apologizes for what he's done, let alone admit he's done anything wrong - but also he never takes anything super seriously he's like okay calm down we're literally on a floating rock and he disguises his pain with jokes

━━ ⟢ go deeper tw: fire, death, drugs - one of his first core memories is having his feelings invalidated and laughed at by his entire family, from that point on he started to hide his raw emotions.  - he was born into a family of mostly sisters  - i would say he's the black sheep of his family, and the family disappointment wrapped up in one - his family is well off, but they disowned blake when he dropped out of college and he scrapes by because he refuses to go and beg for their help  - his mom and dad are well known psychotherapists and authors, but unfortunately they based most of their writing off of blake  - his parents treated him more like a case study than their child  - they would do things to trigger his reaction, get rid of his pets without so much a warning  - the one time he thought he was having a genuine moment with his dad, he hadn't realized his dad bugged the room to record it and analyze it for data  - after his family cut him off of money, he recklessly broke into their house, robbed them of everything, and set the house on fire, including their cars, etc.  - he hadn't known his sister was inside the house, he purposefully waited outside until he thought everyone was out of the house  - his parents tried to save her as soon as they got back home from dinner, it resulted in his parents being trapped in a room after a beam fell and blocked the door resulting in third degree burns on various parts of their body.  - blake didn't go see them in the hospital, he ran, he laid low for awhile and waited for it all to pass. he paid someone for an alibi, he destroyed any evidence tying it back to him - the following day when his parents and siblings were trying to get ahold of him, he ignored it. he took the money he stole from them and spent it on drugs in a club to try and forget all about it.  - what he didn't know is they were trying to tell him his sister had died from the fire - he didn't go to her funeral, instead he spiraled into what he already knew everyone else thought of him anyway. 

━━ ⟢ connections like i said on sunny's!!! i want all the connections, old classmates, exes, crushes, people he's scammed, people he's worked for to do illegal things for, friends, foes, enemies, people he's robbed, neighbors, people who've checked into the motel, cousins, co workers, situationships, etc etc etc i need it all !!!

[suckerforthisshit]

My comments on the "There's nothing I hate more but something I can't have" from @neallo.

I read the whole story only yesterday and I am not only impressed but also shocked. This is probably the best fic I've ever read in my life. I felt the need to get in touch as someone who is interested in writing I story telling.

I plan to engage in writing, learn how to express myself properly and describe the event as precisely as possible, so that I capture the essence, do not repeat words and portray the characters realistically. So that when I read the story later, I want to insert myself into it in a such way that I have the feeling that it is actually happening. That's exactly what Neallo succeeded in doing.

Here are some comments on the writing:

1) Each of the characters has its own character that is upgraded on the simpler basis of what we have in manga and anime

2) The scenes are described extremely precisely with a lot of details and without unnecessary embellishments.

3) The realism of absolutely everything, from the reactions and behavior of the characters to the entire course of events. Without any dull fantastic moments.

4) Perfectly depicted behavior and thinking of young people with extraordinary intelligence, living in the modern age

5) Sex scenes are described without any exaggeration, without sugarcoating, just the way sex really looks like in real life

6) Thoughts of characters are very human-like

8) Characters in different states, sober and drunk, perfectly described

9) Gracefully introduced internal struggles and conflicts of the main character (Mello) without exaggeration, exactly the way people think and face their own problems

10) Mat's character was lit in all scenes

I have to say that I see these things differently, of course, as we all actually do have our own personal head cannons. And surprisingly neallo's Mello is much alike my post kira 20 years old, fucked up Near. That's that puking out when you have to deal with emotions, that lustful needs, that analytical thinking, that pissy/bossy attitude. Only difference is that my Near usually hides his inner thoughts with his perfectly strict, cold and cool facade. And actually no one knows how extremely horny and pissed off he actually is. Which is different in your Mello, who is open about it. On other hand my Mello is much more feeling like. He wouldn't rationalize his emotions like never, he too can't face them and will probably storm out. He would live in denial to that point it would be a pure delusional madness. He wouldn't face it at all, with my Mello and Near, near isn't enough emotionally strong to state out his feelings (like. Never), and Mello would have to hunt him down which would drastically complicate the situation given that Mello on his own doesn't know what he feels about Near and mentally can't take the fact that he likes him. And for Matt, the psychoanalyst is a literal canon to me and even more, as it's actually great deal of his personality, but again, unlike your characters, more emotional, bit less rational. He would however work far better if to Mello it could actually be said, like, what actually is.. but like, my Matt has to specially pack things for Mello on way he wouldn't freak out.

Haha, anyways, I appreciate seeing the different versions of my three favorite characters that are dancing on my mind for like five years. I will do an art of these two, but I'll show them bit different then I usually draw my Mello and Near. (I already have a perfect picture in my damn head how they look like, exactly Mello)

Overall, this peace of art was MIND-BLOWING and I hope more people will read it.

[stardew-bajablast]

i thought having a few days to process would help but it has not. next election (if there even is a next election), I cannot do this again.

the democrats are already pointing the finger at literally everyone but themselves, blaming Tim Walz and the “woke AOC progressives” instead of, i don’t know, the absolute nothingburger Kamala had to offer anyone struggling, her right wing border bill and promise to continue building Trump’s wall, the fact she spent two months campaigning with Liz fucking Cheney, daughter of the most despised man in America (arguably more famous for being hated than he is for any of the horrific things he actually did), or the fact that it took until the day before the election for her to cede even the tiniest bit of ground to people upset about the genocides in Gaza and Lebanon (which she only did AFTER she saw that Trump was also going after those people’s votes)

NEVERMIND THE FACT that in early 2024 back when Biden’s campaign was insisting over and over that he was the only person who could beat trump while his own internal polling at the time showed Trump winning FOUR HUNDRED electoral votes. so they were just blatantly lying and knew they were lying the entire time. 400 electoral votes? and you decided to go ahead and run?? are you fucking serious????

they will never learn. they have learned nothing over the last 8 years and 3 presidential races. absolutely nothing. and they NEVER WILL. they cannot and will not change.

i’m getting involved with some local protest groups and looking into my options for volunteering and getting involved in politics at the local level, and i suggest you all do the same.

I voted for Hillary Clinton, I voted for Joe Biden, and I voted for Kamala Harris. I will never vote for a democrat at the federal level ever again. What is the point of voting for the lesser of two evils when they don’t even care if the greater evil wins?

[404name-not-found]

Vent post about system stuff incoming:

Also if you don't support in-system relationships just fuck off this specific post ok? Not in the mood to hear it

The concept of spending the rest of my life only ever half able to touch my wife (he/they) is fucking depressing. I can feel him because I mainly sit internally, and I know he can, to some degree, feel a ghost of where I'm touching him (not that way I'm referring to cuddling and kissing the rest is no one else's business) but it's not the same.

I will never be able to hold him the way his partner with a separate body can. While I'm not jealous of said partner, it does feel like something about me will always be inferior. I know if I had my body, I would not be able to hear his thoughts and know his feelings so we wouldn't work as well as we do, and probably would not be anywhere near as in love as we are because we don't deal with all the time wasted by misunderstandings and such. But I also know that if I had my body I could marry him legally, and I could be supporting him because my body was not disabled. I could take care of him in ways I just can't as things are. If I had my body, I could fill the roles I can't fill because we share a brain and body.

I wish with everything in me I had my body and still had the ability to communicate the way we do. I wouldn't have seen him in so many abusive relationships. I wouldn't watch him struggle to get things done and get what he needs. I was able to work in my fictional canon! I made plenty enough to support us! But I can't.

I know a miracle let me literally cover a gap between worlds to let us be together even though here I'm considered fictional. And somewhere deep down I know it wasn't a miracle, it was a world of hurt I wish he'd never gone through. And I know I should just be grateful I have him and we can be together despite how absolutely impossible it realistically is that we managed this.

I couldn't imagine a world without him, and I would never want to take the step back that would come with losing sharing the same head the way we do, but there's just a lot about sharing a body that makes a relationship like ours feel like we're so close to being perfect and the only thing in the way is one missing electrified meatsuit.

Don't misunderstand, while despite all the scientific knowledge I do have, I have no understanding of the science that makes it so he can kiss the air or a pillow using the body and *only* have the same biological reactions as he would with another body if one of us is kissing him in the head at the same time, I am eternally grateful for it. But for once, would like to stop being scientific wonder and be a man and his wife with nothing extraordinary besides the amount we love each other.

There's nothing to say or do to make it better; I'll feel okay tonight when he's laying in my arms since the body dissociates well enough when we're laying down to sleep that we can almost entirely feel each other, but for now it sucks and there's nothing that's ever going to change it. I spend 99% of my time grateful that I was given the chance to know him and love him and be loved by him and I wouldn't risk it for anything, but that doesn't mean I don't wish we could fill that last gap to where this would be perfect for him the way it is for me.

He deserves a relationship that can give him everything someone with another body can with someone who would *never* use that body to cause him harm, not with someone who is in the process of being taught not to. He deserves to kiss someone without flashbacks of that person forcing that kiss a few short years ago.

He deserves to have the whole experience of a relationship with someone who genuinely loves him without any backstory of beating or assaulting him in any way. Instead the closest he gets is always wondering if the only reason I'm safe is because I don't have a body to hurt him with. And I do not blame him at all for wondering that - every non-middle school relationship he's had besides one that didn't end up with that happening has been with those of us in his head. But I want to prove to him that people can love him without causing pain. That he SHOULD be loved in ways that do not cause pain. That no one should be hurting him and calling it love and there is nothing about having a body that causes them to behave that way. That what they did was choice they made and kept making, not inherrent to using body separate of his. Maybe then he'd be able to understand that he deserved better than what he got.

[andiatas]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm starting to feel bad for Marius. Yes, he's 27 years old and a grown adult. He has to take responsibility for himself and his actions. But on the other hand, he's just 27 years old. He's still young, an idiot and clearly still has some growth to do.

This is no Prince Harry, who has never taken responsibility for himself and is actively trying to hook the entire world onto drugs because, according to him, that's the best form of therapy. This is no Prince Andrew, who lied on international TV despite being advised against it, hid behind his mother because he "obviously" had done nothing wrong, and threw money around him, wishing his problems could go away.

What Marius did was horrible, disgusting and unforgivable. I feel for his victims and wouldn't be surprised if they never want to see him again. He will likely spend some time in jail and pay a hefty fine. However, he has publicly owned up to what he did at the beginning of this month. He has publicly apologised to her and his family, and he publicly admitted that he has a problem with addiction. One that he has struggled with for quite some time. He even told us that he has sought treatment for it in the past and will do so again. Marius literally wrote that it's not an excuse for his behaviour; he just wanted to give us context.

All this being said, I'm starting to feel bad for him because it seems like people are revelling and taking the opportunity to pile onto him, left and right. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about those two ex-girlfriends who came forward with accusations of domestic violence. I'm talking about the people coming forward with the stupidest and most petty things ever, purely because "well, everyone else is putting forward charges/stories against him." I'm talking about his so-called friends selling private photos because tabloids across the entirety of Europe are chewing this up. Also, don't get me started on some of the reactions and comments I've seen across social media. The audacity of some of you...

Marius is already paying for this and will likely literally have to pay for this. The most important person in this story, the victim, seems satisfied with his actions. She was happy and welcomed that he apologised and owned up to his mental issues and substance abuse. Once again, he literally wrote, and I quote: "I will now resume this treatment and take it very seriously. The drug use and my diagnoses do not excuse what happened in the apartment at Frogner on the night of Sunday last weekend. I want to be responsible for my actions and will explain myself truthfully to the police."

He knows he f*cked up, he has owned up to what he did, he will cooperate with the police, he will go to rehab again (hopefully, he will also learn to choose better friends). What's the point of piling onto him and trying to paint him in an even worse light? What's the point of publishing and spreading awful photos and stories of him across tabloids? Give the man a break; he has already put himself in a terrible position.

P.S. I'm writing all of this as someone who grew up and survived domestic violence for over 20 years. Not from a partner, but from my biological parents. This is not a topic I take lightly.

[silviakundera]

Moonlight Chicken Liveblogging Ep 1-3

yes I took notes. by mid E2 I was obsessed & got wordy.

Enjoying how this drama started with a sex scene and then withholds more sexual intimacy while showing how much a relationship & trust can be slowly built by actions and gestures of affection. I love a 'typical romance arc in reverse'.

Ep 1 I watched the entire meeting to one night stand sequence 3 times asdfghjk

Captures the simmering desire and anticipation so well. Director had me by the throat the entire time.

I saw commenters at MDL and elsewhere saying actor who plays Jim is too young to play 39. But bro, (a) somehow it's also ok for a 23 year old to play a high school student - acting! and (b) I know people at 35 who could pass for 45 and visa versa. Everyone's body ages differently. I can completely buy him as on the cusp of 40. 40 isn't dead! One of my friends is 44 and hits the club near every weekend. I swear some of these kids just don't know anyone over 25. When was in my 30s I already had divorced friends who were tired af and felt old. Let people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s both live like they're in their 20s some days and other days complain about being old as dirt. We contain multitudes, I promise.

Ep 2

hot young One Night Stand shows up to for real pretend work at the chicken rice shop until this man falls in love with him. There is no orgasm grand enough to make me work food service when I don't have to. I would call it insane behavior except that, note, i watched the night they met 3 times and sexual tension & quiet intimacy of it is HAUNTING ME and I only saw snippets of it on tv screen. so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the way the random neighborhood teens keep being like...? wasn't that the drunk guy? why does he show up for shifts here now?

and Jim literally does not have an excuse for ANY of this nonsense so he just looks like he wishes a trap door would open and mutters about adult business. Sir u are a whole CLOWN. what are u doing? 🤡🤡🤡

(well, kids. I had a life changing moment of intimacy with a stranger one night and now he keeps hovering around under shakey pretexts because he knows that I know that he wants me to give us a chance and I'm scared out of my mind and have 199 tons of baggage but he's so hot and he looks at me like I could be his whole world, if only I'd let him in. so i let him wait tables at night to be close to me while I struggle not to crumble under internalized homophobia and the weight of my debts, because capitalism. ADULT STUFF.)

I really like the set up for this couple. 1st episode shows their instant connection, how they're drawn together and find comfort in each other's presence. Then 2nd episode show us the gap that would have to be closed: what Wen dreams of is beautiful but also simple - making a home with someone, a place where he can rest and not feel the weight of the day. He clearly feels that Jim is the right person to do this with him. When Jim gently rejects him, he responds ok, I'm not the right person for you. But Jim is trapped in the bottom of Maslow's triangle. His dream is to get out from under his debt, keep his house, and fund his nephew's education. He doesn't see any space for love in there. It has nothing to do with the right person. Which is why he can't make himself fully turn Wen away. He cautions him that he can't be a home for anyone; he's not qualified to be any such thing for Wen. But deep down he clearly wants it. He wants Wen to prove him wrong somehow.

Ep 3

Wen actually working his real job! Doing... something idk some product management or city planning etc. He found out his dream man is about to be crushed under the boot of capitalism and he has to make presentations about the ROI. 😢

He keeps witnessing how important this incredibly hot man is to the community and it's making him yearn even harder.

and we get the ghost of boyfriends past! Past Boyfriend of Jim is the one who helped him start the chicken rice buisness. And promised never to leave him! oh nooooooo the chicken rice buisness was PROOF OF THEIR (DOOMED) LOVE 💀

They had a cat and a shop and a happy home. And now Jim is all alone. Oh, because his man was a cheater. 😱

oh FUUUUCK. See, I get this so much. He used to argue with his sister if m/m love really exists, or if only m/f love is real. And he said he'd show her. Then the guy he settled down with and basically married then cheated on him with a woman. Now, I'm close to this character's generation and I get why that fucked him up bad. Yes bisexuality is a thing and totally valid but when he grew up it was seen as debateable if women could truly love each other & be satisfied with only that. Same with men/men. So this would have felt like his sister and everyone who'd been saying such things in his hearing since he was a kid... They won. He's older now and knows intellectually that this is bullshit. But I so get why this screwed with him and he has to fight against buying into their narrative of his story.

The fact that he confesses the story to Wen though - he wants babygirl to understand why he can't do this, but the openness and communication is just making it more and more clear why Wen knows he has a chance and why they do work. Jim never says yes but doesn't say never and he's allowing Wen into his life and opening doors.

some of these scene to scene cuts are so rough. dear editor wyd ;)

But then Wen confesses he's on the demolition project. Noooooooooo the man of his dreams doesn't want his free labor & in-person pining tonight.

lmaooooo even when they're fighting he stops to coax his pseudo step-nephew.

The millennial lgbt urge to mentor stray baby gays.

Can't even imagine handling all my old disaster gay mess and also playing guardian to a teenager who doesn't want to study or raise his GPA but expects to make a great life for himself on his own in the USA by working odd jobs, without (again, the studying) gaining english fluency. This is all painfully realistic and Jim is honestly way more chill about this situation than I'd be.

LMAOOOOOOO Wen's step dad is pretty chill himself and accepting, and then Jim shows up and he's like, ..you call him uncle? I felt like I could see him wondering if this is like a daddy kink situation 😂😭. But Dad can roll with this, I am totally seeing where Wen gets his...how he is lol.

This is like the perfect example of an age gap couple where the generation difference makes it work better. They have differing perspectives but they ultimately appreciate that about each other. And it's not that vibe where older man is guiding a naive young person. There is actually zero daddy dynamics involved here. Jim is not a fatherly figure to him in any way. Wen is late 20's uni graduate with a job and he doesn't feel virginal or hapless or ignorant at all. He has his own insights and Jim legitimately is interested in hearing his thoughts & advice. The drama seems pretty thoughtful about portraying a relationship between 2 people who are from different generations of the queer community.

[its-your-girl-geekerella]

My Issues With the New Matilda (Spoilers Ahead)

Before I start, I have a disclaimer: I haven't seen the original musical, but I did see the first regular movie from 1996. However, I had listened to some of the songs prior to seeing the musical. Anyway, onward!

First of all, I liked this musical. A bit disappointed, yes, but still, I liked it. Oftentimes, I feel that creators of redone musicals or movies tend to miss the point of the original.

Matilda is supposed to be a story about a girl who finds that she doesn't have to put up with everyone's unfairness in the world, so she does things as her own form of rebellion. She helps kids in her class, as well as helps her teacher get back what was rightfully hers. In this musical movie, however, she's already basically found herself, she's a genius, and the only "moment of exploration" she goes through is when she finds out she has telekinesis, which isn't an internal thing at all.

Literally, within the first ten minutes of the movie, she's rebelling against her parents.

Matilda doesn't really learn any lessons, which I find weird. Matilda says, "if people do mean things to you, you can just do mean things back," to which Mrs Phelps calls after her, "two wrongs don't make a right, Matilda!" (Matilda then responds, “Unless they do. In which case you've just made a right out of two wrongs," which I think is the best line in anything ever, but that's beside the point.) Later, Matilda is about to do something (I really don't remember), and Mrs Phelps' words come back to her. However, nothing bad actually ends up happening, and Matilda doesn't have to face the consequences of her actions. So what was the point of Mrs Phelps' warning?

Another thing I want to talk about is Matilda's relationship with her parents. The entire time, Matilda is struggling with them (mostly her father), with them telling her that she's a dirty little rascal and never appreciating her, even from the day she was born, because she wasn't a boy and she liked books.

In the end, she has a moment with them that felt extremely weird. Her father actually calls her "his daughter," which is a redeeming moment for him because he kept calling her a boy the entire movie. She asks, "Did you just call me your daughter?" I definitely thought one of two things was going to happen: either 1, Matilda was going to reject him and say something like, "I am NOT your daughter! You have disrespected me for years and..." etc. OR 2, Matilda was going to forgive him in a wonderful father-daughter redemption arc.

But neither of those things happened. Instead, Matilda just stands there while arrangements are made for her to live with Miss Honey. THEN--here comes another father-daughter missed opportunity-- Matilda helps his hat finally come off his head, and he says thank you. And then...

No, actually, that's it. Nothing else happens. He leaves and that's that. Like, WHAT?! There was so much they could have done with this scene! So much opportunity! Even if Matilda were still to live with Miss Honey, they still could've had a cute little moment with her father. It just wasn't redeeming enough for me.

Lastly, I'd like to speak on these "revolting children".

The entire time, Miss Trunchbull is talking about how "Children Are Maggots", and how evil they are. Obviously, this is incorrect, as children are disobedient at times, but not necessarily EVIL. However, I find it extremely sad that the entire time, Miss Honey tries to convince her otherwise, only for Miss Trunchbull to be proven correct. As soon as Miss Trunchbull is scared off, the children sing a whole song about how they're revolting and trashing the school.

You spend a good portion of the movie trying to get rid of this woman, just to prove her right anyway???

Anyway, the songs were bops. I know everyone loves Revolting Children, but personally, I loved Quiet and My House. My other two favorites were When I Grow Up and Naughty. The School Song was really clever. The choreo was banging as well.

Overall, the movie is really good. Despite the weird relationship and character arcs, I really enjoyed it and have seen it twice.

[karak9]

Me again! I wanna apologize now in case I say anything that I shouldn’t in this, I’m not trying to be offensive or belittle you I’m just new to this kind of identification, but I would like to understand it better so I can be more considerate about it in the future. So here’s a few questions, you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable!

What goes on with the others while one of them is fronting or co-fronting? Is it like you choose to let one of them take over your consciousness? Are they there in the background?

is it like constantly having other voices in your head? Like that each have their own personalities and thoughts and such? And if so, is it fun, or is it overwhelming to have all their different thoughts battling each other out?

im not sure how to phrase this, but what happens when you let one or the other front? Do you feel like you’re switching thoughts and personalities? Is it like having a bunch of separate people/creatures in your head that take turns using your physical body to express themselves?

when you co-front, is it like both of them have control over your physical body but are talking to eachother, or rapidly switching from one to another, or one of them takes over and is relaying information from the other?

I really am sorry if this is intrusive or offensive in any way, I know literally nothing about this so I would love to learn more, but I understand if you don’t want to answer any or all of these. I’ll prob ask more to each of them later, but first I would like to develop a basic understanding of how it works so I can be respectful. Thank you!

it's cool, I understand not a lot of people know much about plurality and it's never a bad thing to be curious :)

it's different for everyone. for our system, I can't really fully let go of front so I don't lose consciousness or anything, I'm always fully aware but sometimes may be really dissociate-y when someone else fronts. it's like being on autopilot kind of, like watching your body do things but you aren't doing them consciously. I have struggled with dissociation all my life so the autopilot thing is familiar for me and doesn't always mean someone else is fronting, it's just similar. when someone else is fronting it's more like the autopilot is being controlled by a specific personality other than my own, I guess. for our system, we can choose to let someone else front and that's usually how it goes, but sometimes I will dissociate because of stress or something and someone else will take over for a bit until I feel better. it's very easy for me to take front again when I want to/need to.

I don't hear them constantly, but once in a while someone will pop up with a thought, but usually it's me talking to them and they respond.

I guess I already kinda answered this but yeah it does kind of feel like I'm just changing personalities, maybe because we're co-fronting but also I do feel my headmates aren't Super separate from me as a person like with some systems, we're like in between multiple (multiple people in one body) and median (one person with different aspects of themselves formed into different personalities) I think. I hope that makes sense to you!

mostly the last one! when we co-front, it's usually 1 person who is mainly fronting while the other(s) is watching and easily able to take front again or do an action. like, if kai is fronting we'll be internally talking (if I feel like talking, sometimes it's just him talking to me and letting me know what he's doing) and if he's cleaning the house I could control our body for a moment to move a plushie to where I want it and then let him do the rest. it's usually very blurry and sometimes I don't know what actions are mine and what are the other headmate's. also they tend to know what I want and I tend to know what they want because like I said, we aren't entirely separate people. they have their own thoughts and opinions but we rarely really disagree, thankfully lol. would suck to disagree with someone you're stuck with bc they live in your head lmao. I'd say kai is the most separate from us because he started as an imaginary friend but usually he's the voice of reason when I don't want to listen or take care of myself.

all of this is personal to our system of course, if you'd like to learn more you might want to do some research or ask other systems :) we appreciate the questions though, it's fun answering them!

[ina-nis]

I think you're way further along than me and it's a little disheartening to know that even if you heal the traumas and the wounds, gain a sense of self and worth, grow social skills and tools for managing emotions, that it's still a struggle.

That is really difficult after all... this is why I think it's important to not give up, and hold onto something, anything that can give you any sense of control. And if you don't have that yet, it's possible to make it yourself, or to get from something or someone else.

I can't say this is "acceptance" per se... sure, it may look like it, but I guess it's more like... looking at myself beyond the struggles? Does this make sense? I'm much more than my problems, I'm much more than my mental and physical illnesses. Those are part of me, but not entirely who I am.

It's not because I accept these parts of me - they suck, and they will still suck tomorrow, and I will probably be struggling with them for a long time - I don't like these aspects of myself, and I don't have to like or accept them, so I won't. I can try to be kind to myself though, and to focus on other things in myself and my life, that are not these things I dislike. I guess it can be helpful. It's not always easy though (my brain is sure to "remind" me all the time and it's very annoying...), so I need to be really patient, too.

One other thing is seeing yourself as whole and worthy unconditionally. It's difficult when we're dealing with something that alienates us from others, from within, and makes us look off-putting from the outside (so it drives people away).

It's stopping the comparison games, too, because comparison does nothing but tank your self-esteem further and what for? Only you can live your own life, and that goes for other people and their own lives. One of the ways I achieved it was by "putting" others in my place, and seeing how much I thought they would thrive - if my life would be better if I weren't like this, then how would it be if they were like this? The fact that I'm surviving all this bullshit mostly unscathed should tell me something, huh? I'm really doing the best I can with what I have, and I'm pretty sure other people would break. This also helped me starting seeing myself with more gentle eyes, somehow.

I had to unlearn internalized ableism too. Fighting against my brain because I'm having symptoms never helped matters, nor trying to "look" and "act" "normal". Yeah, people will say/think a lot of nasty stuff about you, they won't like you. Or maybe not, but it's literally not your problem, and it doesn't define you. If you start paying attention, you'll realize that most people are casually ableist and make no big deal of those things. You're the one putting the effort to better things for yourself, and for others too. I found it was easier to distance myself from assholes when I started seeing them as such, and less as "role models".

I feel like when I started seeing myself separated from my struggles, as my own, whole person, who is worthy regardless; when I worked to unlearn and combat ableism; and when I stopped making comparisons, because I didn't want to see how much stuff sucks for me, and how everyone else had it (seemingly) together, it helped me to find and cultivate some self-worth that I couldn't do before... but of course, this depends on a lot of other factors out of your control, for example: you cannot heal where you've been hurt, that's very true. Sometimes you might need a complete change of scenario, change of people in your life and changes in general.

But change can look scary, and changing is hard and can be painful.

The bad things will most likely not go away, but it doesn't mean you're not a worthy, whole person. It doesn't mean suffering and pain is all that is to you, those are parts of you, but there's much, much more to you. And I think this is... hope, pure and simple hope. Nothing overly positive or optimistic, but a certain that there's more to life than misery.

[otnesse]

Replying in a separate post since, aside from the original post no longer existing, it also was reblogged initially by ****IrisHatersSay, and I've been blocked by her:

"Anonymous asked: I'm not an XY fanboy but you're an Iris fangirl who sees nothing wrong with her being handed a PSEUDO LEGENDARY because she's your Mary-Sue self-insert. She has no development and rarely got called out on her crap. You wanna talk about a Black Hole Sue, why didn't Ash put her in her place? He has more experience, yet he regressed. Ash had NOTHING going for him in BW, he should be badass after beating 2 legendaries. Ash never beat Alain and struggled with Ash-Greninja, not a Gary-Sue."

"azelmaandeponine answered:

image GIF by fireheartaw Wow, I can’t believe you brought this garbage into my inbox. Actually, this fandom is riddled with misogyny and racism, so I can totally believe it.

First of all, Iris was not “just handed” Dragonite. She found a wild Pokémon and bonded with it over the course of the episode. Also, good of you to ignore that Dragonite didn’t even obey Iris right off the bat, meaning she still had quite a bit of work to do as its trainer. They didn’t just hand her a perfect win button.

You know who was “just handed” a Pokémon? Dawn. Funny how no one calls her out on this (Note: I don’t dislike Dawn).

And there is no such thing as a “pseudo-legendary” in the anime. Pokémon ARE NOT bits of data with stats in the anime, so they have no BSTs. Dragonite is just another Pokémon. Or are you just ignoring that time in the anime when Ash’s Pikachu defeated a Dragonite?

And while I won’t deny I love Iris, she isn’t even my favorite female companion. That’s May (though I haven’t caught up with SuMo, and Lillie’s giving her competition). Favorite female character? Jessie.

Iris literally has tons of development. She learns to apologize and not prioritize winning over her partner, she gradually opens up and trusts her friends more. Her teasing of Ash gets more affectionate as the series goes on. It’s more akin to family squabbling. Also, Iris is on the immature side herself, but she IS correct to say Ash is just like a little kid. Anyways, my dad and I call each other kids all the time. My younger brother calls me a kid a lot, too. I’m an adult. It’s not a big deal. Iris’s arc is about learning to empathize with others, which makes her a better trainer.

She’s an empath who has trouble empathizing with other people and Pokémon.

And her catchphrase is a direct result of her past. She was ostracized at the Academy for her wild behavior, so she internalized that was desperate to be not be seen as “such a kid”.

She’s certainly not a Mary Sue, not is she my self-insert.

And seriously, “put her in her place?” Good to know that you’re a misogynist who thinks that girls who dare to call out their male companions on their mistakes need to be “put in their place”.

“He should be badass after beating two legendaries”

No. He leaves all his Pokémon at Oak’s except for Pikachu, who always gets reset at each saga. Guess what? You are not the target audience of this show. Children are. That’s why each saga is self-contained. and not to be that person, but XY’s rating in Japan took a huge plummet.

“He lost to Alain”

image That is irrelevant. He can still lose and be a Gary Stu.

And Ash-Greninja itself is bullshit. It adds to Ash’s Specialness™ points, because he and Greninja are the only ones in the entire anime able to do this. There aren’t even other examples mentioned in passing. Ash and Greninja are the first. It also comes out of nowhere and is poorly developed. That’s the hallmark of a Gary Stu."

I'm willing to side with the second user on Iris (she might have gotten Dragonite early, but 1. she did still have to struggle to train it as well, and 2., she's already established to be something of a prodigy, so she really doesn't qualify as a Mary Sue especially regarding that bit. If anything, Dawn came closer to that with Togekiss. As far as her catchphrase, I may have my issues with it, but Iris herself isn't the reason I have issues with it [I agree with her on that front if anything], it's more that they royally screwed up with Ash that saga by turning him into a colossal idiot.). But not in regards to Ash.

Look, even when I was an actual kid, I genuinely hated continuity problems or bad writing (enough times that if anything my parents often got annoyed at my nitpicking and told me to just enjoy watching something), and I know if I watched some of the stuff that was mentioned at 8, for example, I'd be pretty ticked off at seeing Ash lose against characters who he shouldn't even be able to lose against by this point. Ash's Pikachu beating Drake's Dragonite and losing to Gary at least worked due to it being more of a team effort that Ash took down Dragonite, with Pikachu merely landing the final blow. Ash and Pikachu single-handedly one-shotting a Regice (which, freshly caught or not was STILL a powerhouse of its own level thanks to it being a full-fledged legendary, which even in the anime is nothing to sneeze at), however, definitely can't work for having Pikachu lose and/or struggle in the manner he was shown doing in DP (it's still bad writing no matter HOW you slice it). If they REALLY wanted to keep Ash struggling in DP, at least have it be so that, I don't know, Charizard managing to inflict burn status on Regice before being taken out and then Pikachu taking out a softened Regice. At least there, Pikachu struggling would make more sense since it indicated Pikachu merely took out a legendary that was already softened up a bit. So saying Pokemon was a kids show marketed towards children unfortunately isn't enough to make that work (Dragon Ball was ALSO a kids show as well, yet they still made an ACTUAL effort to maintain continuity). And quite frankly, if they really wanted each saga to be self-contained, they really should have just replaced Ash with the main character from the actual games at AG rather than waiting until recently with Horizons. At least there, we wouldn't have to worry about it breaking continuity. Besides, people could still access DVDs back then. I'd know because I have the entire Kanto League as a DVD set, maybe also Orange Islands as well, and I'm pretty sure Japan had a similar means of accessing them in video format.

And while I have my issues with XY, I wouldn't call Ash's rendition there a Gary Stu. Even ignoring Alain, he DID end up losing to some of the Gym Leaders, even was genuinely challenged by them (a stark contrast to AG, where he pretty much mowed them down starting with Flannery). In fact, one of the few good points about XY is that it restored the Gym Leaders' reputations of being obstacles rather than essentially JJM clones in a manner that actually WAS believable after AG and BW crapped on them (DP came close, but considering that also was the result of Ash and Pikachu taking a nosedive in competency despite taking out a Regice, and not even with help unlike with Drake's Dragonite, that really wasn't a good example ultimately). If ANY incarnation of Ash came close to being a Gary Stu, it was his AG incarnation, especially after he took down the Gym Leaders WAY too easily starting with Flannery (and to make matters worse, he ended up staying in place at Hoenn that he did in Johto, meaning his winning streak was downright pointless, and thus comes across as EXTREMELY poorly developed as well.). And don't get me started on how Ash in AG ALSO got some of the other bits pertaining to Gary Stu in an arguably more blatant manner (like Ash using Aura in Movie 8, or how he ended up being a Spotlight Stealing Squad in Movie 9 and having to save the day in a movie that otherwise starred May, and May herself literally being reduced in overall character despite that [and if anything, how she was handled in that movie literally ended any chance at my liking May as well].).

[strictly-need-to-know-basis]

psa

So I've very recently found out that a seven-year-long crush I had on someone was unrequited. I sort of thought I would be more devastated by this fact (a fact that I was dimly aware of the entire time but stubbornly chose to deny) but I instead feel ... relieved.

A bit of info on this disaster of anxiety and miscommunication: the feelings I had ebbed and flowed, but were very internalized. I can count on two hands the conversations I actually had with this person, and on top of that, I didn't tell a single person about my feelings for almost 4 years. The entire saga was basically me just pining hopelessly after someone I knew nothing about, staring at them from across the room for hours.

You're probably wondering when the public service part of this psa is going to start. Really, I'd like to make it known to any human out there that there's a difference between admiration and obsession. I didn't realize until now that my feelings were borderline obsessive. Whether consciously or otherwise, I planned my schedule around this person; I only tried to dress nicely when I knew they'd be there; I related every love song I heard to our fantasy future, did ridiculous things to impress them, (mostly unknowingly) flirted with whoever was next to them in order to get their attention ... the list goes on. One particular situation I remember quite clearly was deciding to skip a piano recital (I pretended to be sick) because I thought I hadn't prepared enough and didn't want to make a mistake in front of this person.

I held this person up to ridiculous standards - I mean, there's no denying there was a foundation to it, because they are, admittedly, quite talented - however, I genuinely thought for many years that this person was the best: the best looking, the best at music, sports, life. I constantly doubted my own self-worth because I compared myself to them, and still to this day scan every room I enter, looking for them.

The most important problem with my seven year crush was something I didn't realize I was doing to myself: internalized homophobia. I am bisexual, and it took me many years to come to terms with my identity (I still believe I am growing as a person, and that both my gender and sexual identity are and will be fluid, so I try to avoid labelling), but the person I had a crush on was very religious. I thought for a long time that if I could change, or perhaps rid myself of desire for all genders, or maybe even (here's the cursed word) choose the "correct" path, this person would like me back. This behavior is honestly so unhealthy, and I didn't wise up fast enough to stop the damage it did to my self-confidence as a semi-closeted bisexual in a non-progressive environment.

The reality of the situation, though, is that I really knew nothing about this person. It turns out they aren't nearly as interesting or fantastic as my distant admiration had made them out to be. I asked them out in an uncharacteristically bold move a few weeks ago, and they were polite enough to say, "OK." However, after a few of the cringiest text conversations I've ever been a part of, they finally admitted that they weren't interested. And honestly, to cut to the chase: the person turned me down in such a boring, cliche way that I finally took a step back and realized how silly I had been.

So here's the main message of this psa, after a few paragraphs of bullshit that I'm sorry you had to read through: don't compromise who you are. Don't try to change or hide, don't try to impress at the expense of your pride, and please, if you learn anything from this long-winded diatribe, get to know someone before you hard-core crush on them. Romanticizing a stranger means that the reality will always be a disappointment.

[kingofthehilltoday]

If you were given the chance to rewrite the entirety of King of the Hill, starting with the pilot episode, what would you do differently?

Give it a full story. One that can't just be aired in no particular order.

I think id have that episode where Hank begins working at the co-op even earlier and stretch it over an entire ark, having it help grow and change him more. Itd probably be after the mega-lo-mart ark. Which i think should have been more important to the overall story. Hank saw firsthand what mega-lo-mart (wal-mart in the real world) was doing to businesses. Driving out all the small fish and then upping its prices up once it has no competition. Yet later on he just forgives mega-lo because they no longer carry propane. It shouldn't have ended there and hank shouldn't have forgiven them, he almost developed ptsd around his whole livelihood. Also he should learn about fracking and rethink his whole stance on propane, I know he's all about propane and propane accessories but I think it'd be an amazingly interesting internal struggle. Buck Strickland will die pretty early on also <3

Peggy would have her own storyline where she actually has to learn Spanish, and bobby would mostly be dealing with bullies at school.

Dale would stumble upon an actual gov plot. Nothing too big or even really that important and it's just something going on with Arlen's local gov, but something he wants to get to the bottom of and he feels only he can do. Something like that snake episode except it's again like a full ark. Maybe it's just something like the mayor charges ten cents more for the parking meters and is pocketing that additional money himself.

Id have Bill leave the army in 2001, maybe even go AWOL and has to find some way to avoid the government while dale is constantly getting into trouble with it causing bill to have to hide a lot and struggling with depression and his missing Lenore.

Boomhauer would have an ark similar to that girl who dumped him but it would be more dramatic and shit. And he would under no circumstances be a cop.

Nancy's story would remain mostly unchanged.

Redcorn would never renege and try to sleep w Nancy again, but also id do more w him than have him try to open a casino in Texas (how did he not know that casinos weren't allowed in Texas??? He lives here??) Id show more of his relationship with Candy and his Daughter. He literally has a kid in the show who can know of him as a father, id like to see Redcorn actually act like a father to her.

Kahn and Minh would probably get divorced when Minh joins dales gun club. Like, Minh can be a very sweet person when Kahn isn't around and I'd like to see that explored. Also I'd like Connie to catch a break and not be pushed so hard to do things she doesn't want to. I dont think Connie and Bobby will stay together and that storyline will stay mostly in tact although it may happen at a different time than his 13th, but it was a good place to put it.

Cotton Hill's story would remain relatively the same, the portrayal of "honored veterans" is very important. This country loves to talk about how much it respects the troops but the second one is on the verge of homelessness they get abandoned.

Hank and Peggy /would/ have a second kid after seeing cotton and deedee have one and that storyline would be important too, when cotton dies (finally) they would adopt GH, and then we'd get to see Bobby be a good big brother to two siblings.

Also the characters would for sure age. Maybe not super fast, maybe every couple of seasons. But I want them to be older and more mature by the end of the series. I know this was more like an out of chronological order list of things that would happen but I think it'd be fun if there was a slightly more mature angle to some of the story telling in between hijinks and funny jokes.

And finally id also have Saul Goodman (or a Saul Goodman stand in) be a character. He would absolutely be dale's lawyer and he would have to work his ass off to get Dale out of trouble sometimes