#things i wanted to say but lost the desire to

[shoyoist]

chat do we accept thirsts in this room ....... i cant stop thinking abt rin literally being a canonical drooler like hello??? new fap material finally

seeing him like that made me sit up straight fr like ohhh he's the kind that goes crazy huh!! content: fem reader, making out, a lil unintended choking, MESSY pussy eating ++ (unprotected) missionary so he can drool onto your tits!

itoshi rin who just gets a little too lost in the heat of his desire. he may be all cold eyes and dismissive comments — acting the part of a man who cares for nothing but himself, but anyone who knows him knows different. especially you, his sweet girl that's crawled her way into his heart and knows him best.

when he lays eyes on your body, dressed so pretty in the colors he likes best on you, looking at him with the sort of anticipation in your eyes that somehow make you look so innocent to him; it makes his mouth water.

he doesn't say much, but you know almost way more than you need to by how he handles you. pressing up against you, hands gripping the back of your thighs and dragging you up against him so his bulge presses into your lower stomach. swallowing thickly as he runs his eyes over you one more time before going in for a kiss.

you know he tries to maintain his composure — but you really do drive rin crazy. his kisses are open-mouthed, sloppy, and he groans with his tongue down your throat. "pretty." he says under a breath, sounding almost shy if not for the dirty words. "what's this for? you want a nice, good fucking, is that it?"

he says it like you've been provoking him till he finally snapped. but really, all he did was take a look at you dolled up for him. he's the one that wants to fuck you nice and good.

itoshi rin who nearly hits his own head on the headboard with how fast he gets on top of you in bed. bracing himself against the board with one arm, he kisses you, so wet and sticky; his other hand finds the plush of your tit and squeezes, thumb flicking your nipple.

he grabs you by the throat like he's about to tear into you with his teeth, and he takes your breath away as he kisses you up the side of your jaw, leaving little bites here and there. he ravishes you, saying nothing but an occasional whisper of praise or a curse that slips out between kisses.

itoshi rin who grabs your hips again and spreads your legs apart, pushing your knees nearly to your chest so he can have all the room he wants to eat you out. your pussy's wet enough that it glistens up at him, and you think he even takes a fucking sniff of it before he lowers his mouth on it and sticks his tongue right in your cunt.

"rin!" your gasp goes entirely unheard — the taste of you is the one other thing that keeps rin sane, and he likes to have his fill of it. his tongue is long, and he loves fucking you with it. it would embarrass you if it didn't feel so fucking good — so loud and sloppy, drenching your thighs and his whole face, spit trailing down the curves of your ass to soak into the sheets. he's so messy with it.

he laps at your folds, curling his tongue and taunting your clit, taking both forever and too soon to drive you past the edge to your orgasm. and god, does he make you cum. by the time he gets you there, it's so damn wet you wouldn't know if you'd squirted all over his face or not.

he comes up for a kiss with a mixture of his spit and your slick dripping down his chin, and when your mouths meet you taste your own pussy on his glossy lips. "god, rin."

"mm," he gives you only a brief answer, eyes clouded over as he palms his boner, sticking his hand between your legs to wet his it before giving himself a few pumps. "good girl."

he doubles over to suck on your tits as he slips his dick into you, and he groans along with your gasp of his name as he goes all the way in. and he loves how you tremble against him, trying to stay coherent for him as he taps your cheek and makes you look up at him.

"so deep," you sigh out for him, knowing he likes to hear it. "so big, rin." he kisses you with his first thrust, eating your moan up before pulling away and finally focusing on his own pleasure.

itoshi rin who fucks you with his mouth open and his tongue out, bending down every now and then to kiss you, and each time he pulls away there's strings of spit between your mouths that disconnect and drip down both your chins.

a sheen of sweat forms over his skin, and the dark strands of his hair stick to his forehead as he holds himself up over you, cock twitching in your cunt as he increases his pace, chasing his high. he doesn't even notice when a string of drool falls from the tip of his hanging tongue and hits your chest right between your tits.

in all fairness, you don't notice either. he's got you feeling so much else, so much pleasure, you don't feel a thing else.

and when he cums, he fills you up with ropes of sticky white before pulling out, getting the rest of it on your stomach and tits, beads of cum decorating your skin as you gasp his name.

"fuck, rin, you make such a fucking mess." you tell him as fiercely as you can, but all rin pays attention to is the way your body trembles and spasms with little waves of bliss. you're so fucking pretty — he wants to do it all over again.

[butlervibesonly]

hi!! I love ur writing and I had this idea if you could please write it!? It could be Austin x actress reader, they are dating and made a movie together and now they are at some kind of interview, but they are both distracted by each others pressence 🤭 maybe like the tension between them growing visibly and it could end with some funny comments from fans? Thank you in advance! 🌼

𝑈𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒 || Austin Butler

• Pairing: Austin Butler x actress! reader

• Warnings: Austin and reader can’t take their eyes off of each other, flirting, desire,…?

• Note: HIII! What an absolutely amazing idea! You can’t imagine how I enjoyed writing this!! ( @eternal-love could tell… 😝) also! picture used at the end is fictional; created with app called TwiNote! AND YES, I HAD TO ADD THIS SONG.

You and Austin have been dating for a long time now. You both met thanks to the same industry you two work at and that nothing less than your beloved acting. Now that Hollywood has given you the opportunity, both of you were casted in a movie where you played love interests.

That was of course very easy for you, since the love you guys feel for each other is truly unconditional. When it comes to making movies there are a lot of duties to promote the movie by any kind of a way. One of them is interviews. Austin and you are on a press tour, promoting the movie you guys made and today… there is something in the air…

The bright studio lights cast a warm glow over the set, highlighting the two stars seated side by side in chairs. And that is of course you and Austin. The interviewer has barely finished the introduction before the oddly satisfying energy filled the room.

Even tho that the two of you have been together for nearly over a two years now, sitting next to each other like this, all dressed up for the press tour, makes it feel like you are back on set, falling for each other all over again.

You look absolutely breathtaking in a formal black dress in Austin’s eyes. Austin is wearing his grey shirt and black pants – so damn handsome. There are some glances between the two of you from the beginning of this interview. Something so unspoken but still so obvious.

“So,” the interviewer started, bringing you from your own thoughts. “Austin, Y/n… It’s nice to have you here today.” Both you and Austin smile warmly. “Thanks for having us.” Austin says, his voice low and deep - just like the way you love it.

“You two have worked together before, but this was your first time playing romantic opposite each other. Did that make things easier or harder?”

Austin opens his mouth to answer, but then you shift beside him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and he gets completely lost in thoughts. His gaze flickers to you, and you only, caught in the way your lips curl so slightly at the edges, because you know exactly what you’re doing to him.

You raise an eyebrow, noticing his hesitation. “Easier,” you answer smoothly, tilting your head toward him after breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Definitely easier.”

Austin clears his throat, attempting to focus on the interview that’s being recorded. “Yeah, I mean, when you already have a connection, it helps.” He finally manages to say, though his words came out slower than he wanted, as if his brain is struggling to catch up with the sight of you beside him.

“I see. So you slid into the characters pretty easily, didn’t you?” Austin chuckles, wanting to answer the question with confidence, but then your fingers brushes his to hold his hand. Just for a second, just enough to send a spark up his arm. Austin of course looses the thoughts again. You can see he is out of his straight thinking, and take over the question again.

“Mhm, yes. The characters we got to play are actually not so different from us, so it was really easy to bring those characters alive.” you smile warmly. The interviewer grins, clearly noticing the interaction of you and Austin. “You both look like you’re still in characters.”

Austin rubs his tight as he always does, his other hand rubbing his lips - as he always does. “Are we?” he smirks, letting out a laugh to ease the atmosphere in the air.

What Austin actually does is that he unbuttons the few buttons of his shirt on his chest. You peripherally see his chest glistening in the studio lights, the lust in your eyes growing stronger. Okay. Focus. Just answer the questions… goes through your head.

The interviewer is speaking about the movie, but neither you and him registers the words. You shift beside him again, crossing your leg over the other. You just look so stunning for Austin to keep his eyes off of you. Too stunning. How is he supposed to form sense able sentences when you’re sitting this close?

Little does he know that you are now kinda doing it on purpose. Austin hears his name being mentioned, knowing he needs to get back to reality from his fantasizing about you. Say something, Austin. Anything.

“So, Austin, what was your favorite scene to film?” the interviewer asks. His favorite scene? He blinks, hesitating. Right. The movie. The reason you’re both here.

His brain is stubborn, refusing to pull up any scene except for that one; The one where your hands roamed around his body, the way you whispered his name like it belonged to you. The way it never felt like acting.

“Um…” He starts searching for a savory answer. “I really liked the one that actually director decided to remove… But it was some kind of scene where Y/n and I run through the rain on a beach.”

You smirk, knowing he is lying and tries to hide his real intentions. It’s actually no longer after when you are the one being questioned, and suddenly know how it felt for Austin when you are being seduced by the sight. He’s staring.

You can feel the weight of Austin’s gaze without even looking at him. It’s been happening since you walked onto the set of this interview of course, but now it’s getting way harder to ignore. Every time you move, his eyes follow. Every time you smile, his lips twitch like he’s fighting the urge to do the same.

It’s distracting. So unfairly distracting. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, again, pretending not to notice the way his hands flex slightly, like he wants to reach out and just touch you.

As the interviewer continues to say something, you risk a glance at Austin, and sure enough, he’s already looking at you with that expression of his. His blue eyes are squinted due to his eyebrows furrowing, more intense, almost as if he has forgotten you’re supposed to be acting professional.

You notice the way his jaw clenches when he’s thinking. His fingers drumming against his knee when he’s trying to focus. The way his unbuttoned shirt opens just right, and how his cologne still lingers.

“…undeniable desire,” the interviewer says. “I mean, come on, do you two even realize how you look at each other?”

Austin finally tears his eyes from you, shaking his head with a breathy chuckle. You cross your arms, biting back a smirk. Damn yes you do. And so does everyone else.

Interviewer leans back in his chair, watching both of you being barely present. You and Austin are both trying to stay focused, you really do, but at this point, it’s a lost cause already. Every glance, every half-smirk, every moment or hesitation before answering a question. Too much to handle at this point.

The interview ends the moment, thanking you both for coming - even tho you did absolutely nothing at the interview - and with a quick glance behind the camera at his producer he grins. Yeah, this definitely going viral.

With a teasing smile the interviewer calls it a day and shakes both of your hands. “Well, I think that’s all the proof we need.” Austin’s furrows his brow. “Proof?”

You are equally confused as Austin. “Of what?”

The interview chuckles, standing up. “That the two of you are terrible at pretending you’re not totally into each other.”

Austin lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head and you groan, covering your face with one hand. “Yeah, it’s just hard not to keep eyes off of her,” Austin’s hand lands on the small of your back and you shiver at his touch.

You two walk off the set, heading into the backstage. As soon as you both arrive at the changing room, Austin smashes the door to close them. You gasp surprisingly and he leans you against the door.

“You will be the death of me, Y/l/n.” he whispers into your ears, his lips then capturing yours. He grips your hips, pulling you close enough to him as he savor the fact he can finally kiss you. Only a fool wouldn’t know how you spent the rest of the night after arriving at the hotel.

[vacz]

"Who are you looking at?" Bad End Friends (Comic)

I've spent all day trying to finish this comic! AHHHHH

So I present you an idea of a ship... Hunter x Ice Finn

"Why?" Well, if we think in the fact that in Adventure time's multiverse all the versions of Finn always ends up having a romantic relationship with a version of Huntress Wizard, and we take Bad End Friends as a canon alternative timeline where Finn didn't destroy Ice Finn's crown and so he later joined Bipper, how would Farmworld!Finn ends up with his version of Huntress Wizard as Ice Finn? Well the answer is simple: He doesn't end up with directly another version of her but someone who is similar to her... And guess who is more similar to Huntress Wizard?

That's right! Hun- Beast Wirt. I personally think Beast Wirt has actually more similarities with her since they both are like spirits of the forest who almost have the same personality, HOWEVER, I think Hunter and Ice Finn would have more CHEMISTRY and let me explain why:

They both are insane, they MATCH THEIR FREAK.

Ice Finn wouldn't be weird out for Hunter's appearance at all, like he did with the Lich, so Ice Finn would judge him according to his action and god- he gets it, At first he would hate him because Hunter is literally chopping people! But after getting an explanation of why he does this, Ice Finn would sympathize with the feeling of "wanting to protect your family" and want to help Hunter with his brother. Ice Finn proposed to Wirt the chance to save lives without having to change that much, and Hunter couldn't resist it, he could finally do something good for humanity! Maybe he could even redeem himself!

IT'S A KING AND KNIGHT DYNAMIC WITH SOME TONES OF PANTHERS IN CRIME

Hunter would watch around for people, and if he finds them then he should bring them to Ice Finn so he could freeze them. However, most of the time he spent it around Ice Finn himself, sometimes helping him with spells or other stuff like cooking, and other times just hanging around together. Their relationship is more equal than it seems, Hunter is just as enthusiastic as Ice Finn in saving lifes the way they do, Ice Finn constant joy and quick reactions are like fresh air for Hunter, who misses some real emotion in life, while Ice Finn has someone who actually cares about his safety and it's not manipulating him for his own selfish desires. Hunter loves Ice Finn's madness because it is a constant of movement, life and joy! While Finn isn't weird out at all by Hunter's more creepier madness, and actually finds him pretty cool and charming. They both don't judge each other and they are openly crazy together

Hunter is normally submissive, and has a craving for love to the point that he could fall really HARD for someone who shows him affection, of course Hunter would be protective and very jealous if someone tries something with Ice Finn, he thinks Finn as one of his more precious properties so Hunter would not let go this guy. Ice Finn is not innocent either, he was the one who kidnapped Hunter in the first place, Ice Finn makes him sleep on a cage even, you can say he also sees Hunter as a pet, one he loves so much but a thing at least...

However, even if they have these things that for normal people would be very toxic, for them is living a romance, a strange and delusional romance, where both souls lost deep in madness find each other to be their own guide though the black ocean of insanity

So tell me your opinion, I hope you guys like it! ^^

[lina-unchained]

Game Night (18+)

Pairing: Salesman/Recruiter x Reader

Summary: You wanted to play ddakji but by your rules

Release date: 03/02/25

Words count: 1.1K

Warnings: sexual game, spanking, oral sex (f recieving)

Notes: I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes.

Masterlist

-------------------------------------------------------

“Again?” he asked you with a smile, “Isn’t your bum still red from last night?”

You giggled. It did get quite red at the end but it was alright now.

“My bum is very fine and wants to play the game.”

The salesman scoffed. If that was what you wanted.

He took the two paper tiles and put one on the ground. He handed you the other.

You concentrated and threw it as hard as you could. It flipped the other paper tile.

“Oh”, you sighed a little disappointed.

The salesman scoffed and tried. His also flipped.

“A tie”, he smiled.

You weren’t pleased.

It was your turn again.

A flip.

His didn’t.

“Hmm, now you gotta pay me”, you gloated.

He smiled in a sexy way and leaned towards you. He put one hand on your face and the other on your waist as he pulled you closer to him. Your lips touched and you felt butterflies in your stomach. A soft moan was exchanged.

“Your turn”, he said as he let you go.

You grabbed the tile eagerly. It didn’t flip.

“Oh”, you said with a hope.

The salesman smiled ever so sexily. You bit your lower lip.

His flipped.

You jumped a little in excitement.

“Well, how about that? You lost. And now I have to punish you”, his voice too sexy.

You sighed quietly. The salesman grabbed your waist and turned you around. He gently pushed your shoulders, so that you leaned forward exposing your little butt. He placed one hand on it and gently stroked it. You quietly moaned in anticipating. He took his time and then abruptly a loud spank resounded in the whole room as his hand found your bare butt cheek.

You moaned loudly while your bum went numb.

“Hmm”, the salesman quietly moaned, “Your turn again.”

You got up, your butt cheek still throbbing.

A flip.

The salesman’s try.

A flip.

“Awww,” you sighed in disappointment.

Another round.

A flip.

He missed.

You smiled. He smiled in return and leaned towards you.

“Uh-uh”, you put your fingers onto his luscious lips.

You turned around and leaned forward again. You looked back at him playfully. He smiled and kneeled. His hand stroked your butt cheek again. But this time he pressed his lips to it for a gentle kiss.

You giggled.

The salesman got up. It was your turn again.

It didn’t flip.

It was his turn.

A flip.

He looked at you with desire. You let yourself be turned around and pushed downwards.

“We meet again,” he said to your butt while stroking it.

You giggled which was immediately followed by a hard spank on your other butt cheek. The inertia almost threw you on the ground but the salesman caught you.

You loudly moaned. That was a good one.

“Are you sure you can continue?” he asked you with a smirk.

Both of your butt cheeks were now red and numb.

“That all you got?” you replied also with a smirk.

The salesman let you go. It was your turn.

A flip.

His turn.

It didn’t flip.

Before you could say anything he grabbed your waist and his lips found your neck. He kissed you hungrily adding licks and bites.

You moaned as your hands found his hair. Your legs were giving way, good thing he held you tightly.

You were raining with every touch of his lips and tongue on your neck. You tried to push his head down.

“Uh-uh,” he said with a smirk. “You have to win it.”

You frowned and quickly grabbed your ddakji tile.

It didn’t flip the other.

You sighed a little angrily.

The salesman scoffed.

A flip.

You were angry and happy at the same time.

He turned you around and leaned you forward.

“Hmm, which cheek should I repeat?”

You giggled.

The salesman put his hand on the second spanked butt cheek which was still a bit numb. You prepared yourself. Then suddenly he spanked the other one so hard that you flew forwards with such force he couldn’t even catch you.

You kneeled on the ground and leaned on your arms as well, your butt cheek throbbing and turning even redder.

“Had enough?”, the salesman smirked.

You took your time, then got up with a smirk and took your tile.

“I’m winning my special kiss,” you said certain.

The salesman scoffed.

You got ready.

A flip.

You looked at him defiantly.

His turn.

A flip.

You frowned.

He laughed.

Your turn.

A flip.

His turn.

It didn’t flip.

You smiled victoriously.

He smiled gently.

The next thing you knew he swept you off of your feet and threw you on the bed. He grabbed your ankles and separated your legs in the air. He slowly slid his lips upon your bare skin from your big toe down to your inner thigh.

You moaned quietly in anticipation.

Just as gently his lips found your pussy lips.

You moaned again, this time a bit louder.

A kiss after a kiss after a kiss.

“How about some making out?”, you asked playfully as you looked down at him.

The salesman smirked and took his tongue out. While looking right at you he licked your pussy from the bottom to you clit where he flipped his tongue just the way you loved it.

You sighed louder and your hands found his hair again.

Licking, flipping, sucking.

He made out with your pussy while you squirmed with pleasure and pulled his hair.

“Yes, right there”, you guided him with words and sighs while the pleasure was getting stronger and stronger.

Near the sublime moment he abruptly got up.

“What are you doing?”, you shouted loudly.

“By your rules it was supposed to be just a kiss. I think I got carried away,” he teased you mercilessly.

The salesman started to get off the bed but you grabbed his arm. You knew what he wanted. But you wanted yours as well.

“Please,” you begged him and frowned in a cute way.

The salesman smiled at your childish face. He quickly got back between your legs and flipped his tongue with such precision that your breathing stopped for a moment and your eyes sunk inside your skull.

The wave of pleasure hit you as your pussy happily pulsated. You screamed so loudly you could’ve woken up the dead.

The salesman lied next you with a smirk on his face as you were recovering from your orgasm.

You looked at him as serious as you could be at that moment. “Do that again and I’ll file for divorce.”

The salesman scoffed and kissed your forehead knowing that tomorrow you’d play the same game with the exact same ending.

[cloverapple]

hiii! i came across your blog yesterday, and i love your advice. that's why i feel like you would be the best person to ask these questions that I've been having for the longest time (sorry, long read ahead).

I've studied LOA for the past 2 years or so, and even though i have a good understanding of it, there are some things that always trip me up when it comes to shifting.

how do i deal with waking up to the 3d? yes, by assuming that you are in your dr and that you shifted last night. that's the most logical answer. but even though i know that, sometimes it is a lot easier said than done. for example, a few days ago i wanted to manifest shifting by simply deciding i could shift on command and that i am there. i could be 100% sure the day before that it would happen. the whole day, and even a few days after that I'd stay in that state of being a master shifter, and i would feel amazing because of it. but it's like there always comes a point where i wake up to the 3d and i get discouraged (yes, i acknowledge that i am manifesting that reality by saying this, but i finally have to get this off my chest). my thoughts get all messed up and i start spiraling, returning to my previous state. i start questioning myself a bit and feel down. the main reason for that being time.

it took me so so long to figure out this issue about myself. I'd be like: how long is it gonna take? when will it happen? i know i have it in the 4d but when will it appear in the 3d? having it in the 4d isn't enough, i need to have it in the 3d right now. stuff like that. i find it very difficult to formulate my thoughts, but basically I'm in a spiral of:

watching a video/reading a post about LOA/shifting that reminds me of how easy it is -> applying LOA to shifting/any desire in a way that feels good for a few days at most -> starting to question myself after a few days because it hasn't shown up yet in the 3d (which is caused by me forgetting the role the 3d plays and how LOA works) even though i did everything "right" (e.g. letting go of control or the outcome, deciding, not wavering, etc.) -> falling back into a state where i question how i can shift, what i am doing wrong, etc. -> repeat

how can i break out of this cycle?

i think the main problem here is time and in general the 3d.

i know that the 3d is not a measure of my success, only made up of my current assumptions etc. i know that. but it's like i forget it once i step into the state i wanna be in and stay there for an extended period of time.

i always hear people say that "time isn't real" but i still don't really know what that means, how to apply it or how to internalize it. i really need that mental "click" to finally understand it and use that concept in my favor. because my problem is that with manifesting/shifting, after a while i start asking questions about why it's taking so long the 3d. for example, most nights i fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my dr (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning. but when it doesn't happen eventually, i start to question why, because since time comes from consciousness aka me, it should work in my favor.

I'm honestly so lost right now and i would really appreciate some help because I'm spiraling again. I've known about shifting since 2020 but only realized how ridiculously easy it is after joining tumblr this year and yup, i acknowledge that i am desperate to shift, preferably right now. it's not something i admit to anyone or myself because that's basically continuing to tell a story i don't want to experience (a surefire way to fail), but it is unfortunately the truth as of right now.

thank you for reading, i know this was a lot to get through!! (*^^*)

So pause for a second, because I’m going to tell you something I hope to ingrain in the mind of everyone who sends me an ask—and that you need to remember before reading everything I’m about to say:

YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT. The ability is inside you right now. The moment you read this, your mind already knows how to shift. Everyone does.

The moment you accept this, you solve half of your problems.

And then you tell me, "But if I know how to shift, why isn’t the 3D reflecting that?"

Well, yeah. You painted the house, and now you’re sitting there watching the paint dry.

Look, watching the 3D closely and looking for results isn’t a problem for some people. Some can assume, “I’m already in my DR,” open their eyes, and BAM—they’re in their DR.

Some people assume, “I will shift tonight,” and just like that, they shift that night.

Some people let go of their DRs, stop putting them on a pedestal, and they shift.

Some people clutch their DRs close to their heart until their knuckles turn white—and they shift.

It sounds a lot like you’re forcing yourself into a method of applying the Law of Assumption that doesn’t serve you. Why?? If you recognize that your issue is focusing on time and constantly checking the 3D, work around it. Remove time from your shifting journey.

I don’t like assuming I already have something, then checking the 3D and not seeing it there. Hell, I can shift on command, and yet, if I were to lay in bed right now and tell myself, “I’m in my DR,” I guarantee you I wouldn’t shift. Why? Because that doesn’t work for me.

My dude, change the way you affirm. If affirming in the present (“I already shifted”) doesn’t work for you, change it! Say, “I’m going to shift.” If even that hasn’t been working, let go of implementing time into your affirmations.

Change “I’m going to wake up in my DR in the morning” to “I’m going to wake up in my DR at some point because I KNOW I can shift.”

Change “I’m in my DR right now” to “I can’t wait to be in my DR.”

Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions, because that’s clearly the problem here. Instead of trusting that you’ll shift tonight, trust yourself because you already know how to shift. Or trust your mind because it knows how to shift. Trust your awareness because it knows how to shift.

“I fall asleep with the assumption that I'll wake up in my DR (while letting go of control and not wavering) the next morning.”

If this were completely true, you wouldn’t be sending me this ask. You wouldn’t be doubting yourself as much as you just did in everything you typed. Truly letting go means releasing the need to see results in the 3D.

So, take time out of your assumptions. From now on, say “I will shift.” Or say, “I already know how to shift.”

Your brain then goes: “……???….uh….” looking at the 3D all confused “When? We haven't shifted!”

And you tell it, “It doesn’t fucking matter because I’m going to shift eventually.”

Now, let’s say hypothetically, one week passes and you haven’t shifted. One month passes, and you haven’t shifted. Two months pass, and you haven’t shifted.

And then you come back and say, “Clover, why the heck haven’t I shifted yet? It’s been (insert amount of time). You told me to remove time as an expectation, so why haven’t I shifted yet??”

And I’ll smile at you and ask, “So you’ve been counting the days?”

Let me tell you something about letting go—and hypothetically, ignoring the 3D.

Treat your ability to shift like your fortune. You have a fortune sitting in your bank account right now, and you’re rich. Do you think a rich person checks their bank account every hour to confirm they’re still rich?

"Well yeah, Clover, because a rich person’s reality already reflects that, they’re sitting in a mansion with all their riches."

Your fortune, what makes you rich, is your ability to shift. You already know how to shift. Shifting isn’t something you learn how to do, just like breathing isn’t something you learn how to do. Just like chewing isn’t something you learn how to do. It is an integral part of every human being. If you have awareness, then the ability to shift exists within you.

You don’t learn shifting—you learn yourself.

You learn what makes you shift. What makes you manifest easily. What makes you assume easily. What kind of affirmations your subconscious doesn’t argue against. What makes your self-concept skyrocket.

Because everyone is different, everyone shifts differently. What works for Person A might not work for Person B. What works for Person B might not work for Person C, and so on.

Even my reply to you, it might not resonate with you. But that’s not my fault, and it’s not yours. If that's the case, your job is to look elsewhere—and, in the best-case scenario, look internally because that’s where the answers always are.

Let’s go over your fix options because I just yapped a lot:

YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SHIFT.

Remove time from your affirmations and assumptions. Removing time from your shifting process makes it so you have nowhere in the 3D to look.

Stop paying attention to the 3D and pay attention to yourself because what’s going to shift is your awareness, not the damn 3D. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “Oh, but it’s not showing up in the 3D,” remind yourself:

A) You already know how to shift.

B) Shifting is something you can do.

C) It could happen at any moment, so why should anything else matter?

If you were promised a million bucks from a 100% trustworthy source, would you spiral?

One more thing before I wrap this up:

It could be that actively using the Law of Assumption isn’t what works best for you. Maybe you work better with visualizing. Maybe you induce the feeling of being in your DR or being a "master shifter." Maybe subliminals work better for you. There is a world of options out there, and it is completely useless to force yourself to do something that's only bringing frustration in the end. Because there is no singular way to shift. There is no singular way to manifest. And sometimes—for some people—while the Law of Assumption is always true, focusing on it directly isn’t what serves you.

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (Rewritten)

I know everything. The things beyond weapons drops across the border. And yet I stay quiet. Until I can't. Being a marked one, being a friend of Xaden Riorson doesn't mean I am granted unfiltered access to information of what goes on beyond Navarre's walls. But it should when lives are lost and rules change. My compassion doesn't make me weak. My dragon chose me. I am meant for more.

A/N: This fic is updated on my AO3 as well. Here. Happy Reading! Gonna try to update once or twice a week but as you know, life happens so we'll see! xoxo K

The quadrant is in chaos. 

Finding out who is alive, who we all lost - it’s a mess. The only thing I can focus on, however, is the fact that they aren’t back. 

He isn’t back. 

I wish I could comfort you, flare. Rathnait whispers to me in the library of my mind. For a brief moment, guilt consumes me. Gripping my throat with the threat of tears and a scream. A failure of a rider -  not able to even give her a reprieve from the onslaught of my emotions. That she must feel it all with me down our bad. 

A low growl as she narrows those golden eyes of her’s at me. Talons tick nervously on the flight field, vigilant over my every move and breath. All I can do is stare at my dragon vacantly. Streaks of dark copper highlighted her grace, her beauty - running down the length of her neck and down each of her legs. Rathnait was a sight to behold, and I was only grateful to be considered worthy to be hers. Her scarlet colored scales glistened in the setting sun, as if mirroring the sun itself in all its bright glory. Her swordtail flicked in the air back and forth, as if it were involuntary. We must not get ahead of ourselves, you would feel it if something happened to him. Don’t you dare assume what I can and can’t handle. Shutting me out only hurts you in the end.

My shaky hands outstretch, desperation to run them against the warmth of her scales. Her nose to my chest, needing to feel the steadiness of her breath on my clammy self. She nudges me gently, trying all she can to ground my spiraling thoughts. 

How could this be happening? How did it come to this? All that will be left is bitter words and unspoken longing for a man who didn’t choose me.

~

“Xaden is already bending the rules with bringing Violet along, I can’t ask him to risk your well being as well,” Garrick murmurs in my ear as we watch the tense showdown between Dain and Xaden. Ignoring the sting in my chest is a feat itself, having to wrinkle my nose to rid myself of  the tears that threaten to fall.

“You're not even gonna try, after everything? You just expect me to watch you go? You’ve been keeping secrets, Garrick. This seems like part of one of them.” Stepping away from his hold, the warmth long gone from the two of us. My desire to punch him, to yell at him at the very least - gods why doesn’t he ever choose me? 

Rathnait glowers at both Garrick and Chradh, his brown scorpion tail - the irritation evident in her golden gaze. Unrelenting. Every tone, every unsaid word she analyzes and catalogues. Watching me get hurt right before her very eyes, and not in a physical way is something she doesn’t stand for. Teeth as sharp as steel snap towards Chradh, the brown dragon pulls away in shock towards the obvious display of aggression. Garrick’s jaw shuts and clenches at the show the dragons are putting on, his ever composed features faltering at the anguish I knew he could see in my eyes, could hear in my voice. 

Just say the word, flare. I’ll teach him to treat you with more care. Rathnait snarls at Chradh as he tries to nudge her affectionately. I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position, to push away her growing care for Chradh. You let me worry about that. Chradh knows you are the one I chose, the one I will always look out for.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish we had time to talk more, but right now I would rather know you’re safe with the rest of your squad. Your anger towards me is worth it if I am guaranteed your survival,” I watch as he makes sure his flight gloves are secure, flexing them before flickering those earth toned eyes towards me. My heart cracks a little bit more - all I want to do is scream. To shove him and get him to see that this is hurting me, is crushing me. How much more can I let slide? How much more can I take?

“And what about you? What if you don’t come back?” The very thought is enough to have my knees lock and heart stutter. 

Xaden and Violet make their way towards their dragons. Squads have begun to launch to their respective posts. Dain and I are being waited upon by Second Squad. 

“I’ve survived too much to lose now. I’ll be back and we can talk - I’ll tell you everything,” Garrick promises, stepping forward to plant a soft kiss on my temple. Clutching his flight jacket, I can’t help it as tears fall down my cheeks. 

“It seems like you might lose me though.”

 Turning around to follow my squad leader, ignoring the curses from Garrick, ignoring the way in which my squad watches me with grimaces and pity. All for fucking War Games, all for nothing. Being co-section leader means nothing to me, Dain can be in charge for all I care. Steps that feel like bricks on my feet, it’s all the energy I can muster towards the group, needing the familiar, needing their constant. Ridoc opens his arms, bringing me in for a brief tight embrace. Sawyer offers a wavering smile.

“Are you gonna be ok?” Rhiannon softly asks, wiping my wet cheeks with her hands. A shaky smile graces my lips, hands busy with making sure my own flight jacket and gloves are secure. It takes everything in me to not watch Garrick and Chradh take to the sky, having to believe that he’ll be ok, it’s all that I can allow myself to think of. 

Xaden didn’t even glance my way, Imogen or Bodhi - no one. As if the rest of the marked one’s had decided together who should and shouldn’t go. Guess I made the cut. My own relic curved over my fingers and wrist - briefly burning as if answering to my very thoughts. 

“Let’s go get this over with.” Quickly scaling up Rathnait, she chuffs at me, making sure I’m secure in my seat. Let’s go flying, Ray. Take me towards the sun. Sending my devotion to her down our bond. She launches quickly, wings flaring gloriously. The rest of the squad is quick to follow. 

I’ll always make sure you’re near it, flare. The light will never die in you, not even from this pain. 

At least she always chooses me. 

~

It’s been 10 days. 10 days of agony. 

I’m the only third year left. 

Expected to carry on my co-section leader responsibilities as if the absence of Garrick is a minor inconvenience. The early sun rises with a flourish of pinks, reds and oranges and all I can do is relish in this fleeting moment of peace. 

No one seems to care or notice that they aren’t back yet. My only anchor, my only comfort is from that of my dragon. Spending many hours against the curve of her back, staring up at the sky in hopes of seeing or hearing familiar dragons, of hearings wings. When I’m not near her, our bond is wide open. The familiar fire red tether in my mind ablaze with every thought and emotion that runs through us. A warmth of what I could only describe as security floods down the bond. 

We can’t worry about things that haven’t been confirmed yet, flare. She knows my true questions, the things that I can’t bring myself to ask or think about. You must think about today, where we will go. 

Graduation day. 

Today would be the day we’ve been waiting for since entering this school, assignments to outposts were being given, and by this evening I would be gone, my journey at Basgaith over. Turning away from the river, I make my trek towards the flight field. The few third years left of this school congregate, awaiting as Colonel Aetos and Commandant Pancheck begin the assignments. 

“Congrats on graduating, Section Leader. It is a shame that Wingleader Riorson and Section Leader Tavis aren’t here to accompany you.” Colonel Aetos nearly sneers at the mention of Xaden. The obvious disdain is unsettling as he rifles through different papers. “Ah yes, your assignment. Due to your signet and the savagery of your red swordtail - you’re being assigned to the eastern wing…specifically, Samara.” The grin directed at me is maniacal, a joke I’m not privy too, a dare. Rathnait snarls in my mind, unbridled rage igniting the very blood in my veins - but all I can do is take the papers from his hand, saluting in acknowledgement and walking away.

Where are you, Ray?  Hands tremble, the crinkling of paper beneath slender hands is all I can focus on as I sprint towards my room. Can’t be out in the open, can’t let them see, can’t let anyone see what will surely be my own falling apart. My own demise. 

You will not fall apart. An outpost is just a different place, as if you haven’t endured years of people hating the very ground you stand on. As if you haven’t been bonded to me. 

I make it to the middle of an empty hall that leads towards our sleeping quarters, knowing in a matter of moments the rest of the cadets will be awake to get into formation. Pressing the heels of my hand into my eyes, I can’t help but rest my back against the cool stone behind me. My own body feeling as if it had everything sucked out of me, the very air I breath feels strained.  

Samara is the front line. Trying to get the ever rising beat of my heart under control, I must not panic. I am a rider. I am Rathnait’s rider.

Are you afraid, flare? I shudder at her question, not wanting to admit the fear, the panic. But I know that she can feel everything, hear all that I think. 

They aren’t here. He isn’t here. A whimper escapes my lips, the reality of it all just crashing down like rubble. I will be going to Samara, there is no avoiding it, there is no changing it. While I had spent years trying to survive Basgaith, I would be sent to one of the most active posts in the region. 

“Section Leader? Ar-are you ok?” Dain Aetos stands before me, hands out as if approaching a scared animal. “We need to get to formation.”

I don't hate the kid, knowing that following the straight and narrow path is the life that is meant for some people over others. However, that doesn’t mean I want him to see me having a mental breakdown. Giving him a small nod, I manage to get myself to stand before fully looking at the Squad Leader. 

Something’s wrong. My own senses are beginning to go haywire. My signet. Only Xaden and Garrick knew. Command and Basgaith are under a different impression as to what it is. None of the other marked ones knew either. The manipulation and detection of emotions however was a daily venture, there was no turning it off, there was only controlling it and living with it and right now Dain Aetos was a mess. 

“I would ask you the same thing, what’s wrong?” Dusting off my flight leathers. I don’t miss the way he flinches at my question, his hesitancy. “Do I have to give an order to know?” Glowering at him - I am still a section leader. 

Taking a deep breath, he stands tall despite the sorrow in his eyes, “Xaden and the rest of the squad he took with him are being declared dead at formation.” I startle myself at the immediate sob that escapes my lips. My body has accepted what my mind cannot. “Leadership has been looking and there is no sign of them.” Feeling the agony of his own loss, it feels as if a tidal wave has pulled me under. The roaring from Rathnait in my brain feels as if it will explode any second. Dain’s grief, his regret all barrel into me with no filter, no shield. Rathnait’s confusion and rage down the bond. My own sorrow, my own heartbreak. There is no stopping it. There just is feeling it. Unaware of the stream of tears that roll down my face, the taste of salt jolts me out of the shock, the horror. 

“Round up everyone, squad leader. I’ll be at formation in a moment.” My voice doesn’t feel like my own, the assignment papers feeling like large weights in my hand. He turns away to head towards the Quadrant, “Dain,” I call out, sounding like a garbled mess. “Thank you for telling me.” His own eyes glisten with unshed tears as he nods. 

My flare. I hear her call out, though to reach out seems like so much energy, all I can do is let her in with no barriers, allowing her to be there in the comfort of my mind. I’m coming, flare. 

Standing at the bottom of the stone dias. Everyone in formation, I don’t bother to look around. There is no one here to look for anymore. There is no Wingleader, there is no co-section leader - there is just me alone at the front. 

We don’t even have our leader. What hope is there for the revolution? Rathnait has no answer for me. 

To look at my squad is the last thing I am able to do, not being able to endure their unsaid questions. Answers? I had none. Being known for being put together, not a hair out of place, no rumpled leathers, no dirt unless necessary was once a pride and pleasure I reveled in. I’m sure the current state of me was a shock. Strands of hair fell in front of my face, eyes dry and cheeks raw from the tears. 

Captain Fitzgibbons overlooks formation, reading off the death roll. “Violet Sorrengail.” A moment of silence as all eyes look to the stoic face of General Sorrengail. “Garrick Tavis.” My heart feels as if it bleeds on the very floor I'm standing on, flinching harshly at the reading of his name. “And Xaden Riorson.” Captain Fitzgibbon’s voice rings out echoing around the quadrant. 

“Well this is awkward,” a voice calls out. Gasps are heard around the quadrant, even command seems unsettled by what’s happening. My knees seem to be locked in place, unable to turn around and see what is going on. My breaths turn into small gasps of air - no no no it can’t be, I’m dreaming. Dain said. I need to wake up. Heavy footsteps approach behind me, and two individuals take up position on either side of me. A calloused hand brushes against my own. 

~

Angry steps make their way towards the leaders seated at the dias. Xaden Riorson commands the very space, as if he were part of leadership. Violet Sorrengail makes her stand next to me, and the presence of the person on the right of me is one I can’t pay attention to - no matter how badly I want to turn and look, no matter how badly I want to cry. Colonel Aetos is furious, cheeks flushed and furrowed brows do no favors as General Sorrengail questions everything that has been happening since the start of War Games. All directed towards the fumbling Colonel and Xaden.

“I was directed to take a squad beyond the wards to Athebyne and form the headquarters for Fourth Wing’s War Games, and I did so. We stopped to rest our riot at the nearest lake past the wards, and we were attacked by gryphons.” Xaden states, fists at his side as he looks at both General Sorrengail and Colonel Aetos. “It was a surprise attack, and they caught Deigh and Fuil unaware.” He pivots slightly, telling the wing the rest of what we don’t know. “They were dead before they ever had a chance.” My Wingleader looks at my briefly for the first time in what seems like years, for a moment there is a crack in his ever perfect expression. 

I must have blinked, I must’ve staggered. My knees crash against the hard floor for a moment before arms reach themselves around my waist to hoist me up. We lost Liam? We lost Soleil? Unable to hear anything other than the rushing of my own blood through my very veins, the beat of my heart as if it were to come out of my chest. Violet flits her hands around my face, her mouth moving but for the life of me I don’t know what she’s saying. 

Liam was so good. Too good. And just like that he is gone? 

“And we almost lost Sorrengail.” 

Violet’s eyes widen as she takes in the horror in my eyes. My friends were in trouble and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there. Tears blur my vision, and all I can do is breathe through the rattling in my chest. 

I will never forgive you. Pushing the thought towards Xaden. Watching as his spine stiffens, for a brief moment the hurt is detectable in those onyx depths, but in a blink it vanishes. 

“Breathe,” a warm voice whispers against my ear, “ Or you’ll pass out.” The emotions of everyone in the quadrant are too much. However, Garrick Tavis’ were always those of beacons to me - I was nothing more than a boat lost at sea in this very moment. And yet how do I differentiate between him and me and our emotions when all this time I thought he was dead? I thought he was never to come back? How do I ever look at him the same way after leaving me behind? “Let go of me,” shrugging myself out of his hold, I get back into proper formation. Violet watches warily, unsure of what to do. “Go help our Wingleader, Cadet Sorrengail.” Anguish flickers from her emotional tether, being dismissed was something she didn’t think I would ever do to her. To treat her as a lesser. However, in this very moment, the very reality I have endured through seems pointless. There is no belonging to the marked one’s or to a cause or to the protection of Violet and Xaden. There is nothing but the chasm in my chest at every word being revealed, at every tether holding loss and grief. And the worst part of it all is that in a matter of less than 12 hours none of this will matter, Basgiath won’t matter - I will be long gone, a new post, a new death sentence. Like always, being forced to move on. 

Making myself numb is a simple yet effective aspect of my second signet. The dying of emotions is a strange and vacant liminal space in my mind. Gone are the bright hues within the library. The dimming of my own tether to Rathnait. The rest of questioning -  I don’t bother with the insistent touching from Garrick as he tries to get my attention. I don’t bother with the few glances from Xaden, and unfortunately I can’t be open to the bond between Rathnait and I - my cruel humanity unable to withstand her words at this moment despite her numerous attempts of ramming against my shields. I know it isn’t her fault, this hurt and sense of loss that I feel - but I’d rather be alone. 

With dismissal from command, Xaden and Violet get back into formation. There are words exchanged between them and Dain, but again why does any of it matter anymore? As Captain Fitzgibbons calls out the additional names to the amended death roll, there are no tears shed, there is only silence, deathly still silence. Commandant Panchek takes the stand and addresses what is left of the riders remaining. “Beyond military commendations, there are no words of praise for rider. Our reward for a job well done is living to see the next duty station, the next rank. In keep with our traditions and standards, those of you who have completed your third year will now be commissioned as lieutenants in the army of Navarre. Step forward when your name is called to receive your orders. You have until morning to depart for your new duty stations.” 

The orders I received earlier feel like lead against my breast pocket. I had received mine earlier as a taunt, a warning since command had already believed that my Wingleader and his squad were dead. My duty station was punishment for whatever it was that Xaden and Garrick had been involved in, what they are still involved in. 

“Garrick Tavis!” My heart feels like it lodges itself in my throat, as if it were to splatter all over the floor as I look at him, fully look at him for the first time in days as he strides towards the commandant. A new scar lines from his jaw to his temple, deep and red - fresh. His wide strong frame grabs the paper and lets out a breath as he reads the duty station he is assigned to before looking at me as he makes his way back to formation. For the first time, I note an emotion that is rare from him, from someone I have come to know as unwavering. 

He’s scared. Garrick Tavis is afraid. 

~

A resounding cheer goes up in the courtyard as we are dismissed from formation. Everyone has their new orders and I watch as Ridoc, Sawyer, Nadine and Violet gather each other into a hug. Liam should be here with them too, I can’t help but think. Soleil should be graduating with us. Violet tries to catch my gaze but I am not one for appeasing our lightening wielder tonight. A tall figure blocks my vision of the squad, and I know who it is without having to truly look up and see.

“Wingleader,” I nod, staring blankly across his shoulder. “What can I help you with?” 

Xaden raises his hands as if to grip my shoulder, or Malek forbid, pull me into a hug. He must second guess himself though as he falters and his hand hangs limply at his side. “We need to talk, the three of us. And I’m no longer your Wingleader, we’re equals. We made it, flare.” 

Whipping my gaze at him, lips pulled in a snarl. “Don’t. I was never your equal, I was someone who helped you all get away with whatever bullshit it is you’re doing. I was the scapegoat. I was the distraction.” With each word, rage bellows in my belly. My shields must be faltering between Rathnait and I, because I feel like decking him, hurting him. I don’t bother lowering my volume, all sense of decorum out the window as cadets make their way across the quadrant. “I’m not even your friend.” 

Xaden flinches at that. 

“That’s not fair, sweetheart,” A raspy deep voice comes from behind me, calloused hands attempt to grab my own. Ripping them out of his grasp, I can’t help but ram my elbow into his side, the sound of wheezing only slightly satisfying. Xaden attempts to help him but the glare I pin at him leaves him immobilized . 

“What is not fair, sweetheart, is being left behind. Is not being there to help. Is not being trusted after everything I’ve told you out of faith!” Whirling around to face him, Garrick struggles to fully stand upright after my jab. “And now it doesn’t even matter. Excuse me, I have to go pack.” 

Hurt. Regret. All that I can feel from the two shocked idiots. 

****

Shutting me out isn’t the answer, flare. Rathnait snarls in my mind. There is nothing my dragon hates more than to be purposely shutout from me. If I can’t reach your during moments of distress, how can I help you?

Sometimes I don’t want help, Ray. Sometimes I just have to feel it. Folding the rest of my clothes and putting away what few belongings I do have, I’m able to rest for a moment on the bed. The wooden figurine of Rathnait sits on the window, all I can do is watch it. 

Liam was so sweet. Eager to please, eager to excel - and training him was something that I actually found fun. He was the little brother I never had. Someone who could bring me back down from the emotional highs, someone who made me laugh when all Xaden and Garrick wanted to do was be serious. When he made the figurine of my dragon, Rathnait herself chuffed in amusement at how endearing she found Liam. He was just so filled with light that this hellhole had to swallow it up and take it away. It wasn’t fair. 

A knock echoes throughout the empty room. Already knowing what is to come, I steel myself for the inevitable emotional onslaught. Adjusting my new officer flight leathers, I wave my finger to open the door, staying close to the window. 

Both Garrick and Xaden are dressed in their new flight leathers as well. A pack and sleeping pad hitched over their shoulders. Remorse written all over their faces I don’t even have to use my signet for that. 

“Is it ok if we talk in here?” Xaden asks. Yelling from the graduated cadets echo throughout the halls, celebration in all forms was everywhere tonight. Glancing away from their hesitant stares, the sound barrier shimmers slightly overhead as Xaden shuts the door. With a heavy, burdened sight, he slides against the door and sits on the floor, legs outstretched. It’s the least put together I’ve seen from him. Garrick sits on the bed, glancing at the wooden figurine with a wavering smile before glancing at me. I don’t make a move to sit by him, my arms cross as I lean against the window bay. No one says a word. The friendship the three of us had, seems like it teeters on the edge of the cliff. Well it seems like I’m the one starting this.

“I thought you were all dead. That all I had left was the memory of disagreeing with Garrick before War Games and watching my Wingleader not spare me a second glance as he makes his squad when I was meant to be a section leader as well.” Bland words escape me, trying to say something other than the yelling that I want to dish out to them. “And knowing I didn’t even get to see Liam before he -“ I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve never asked, Xaden. I’ve never demanded Garrick tell me when I could easily hold it against him as someone he supposedly cared a lot about-“

“Care.” Garrick interrupts. Leaving no room for argument. “I care a lot about you, sweetheart. More than that. Don’t blame Xaden when I am just as much a part of this as he is. Be mad at me too.” His hazel eyes blaze with a fight I know he’s aching for. To yank the deadened words from my lips with something fiery, something that feels like more. Garrick doesn’t know what he’s asking for.

“You don’t think I’m mad at you too? Tavis, I am furious. I am heartbroken. I was resigned to a life without you, and now?” Gasping for air, I pound my chest for some sort of relief from the tightness I feel. Garrick is quick to try and help me but I raise my hand, ordering him wordlessly to stay put. 

“There are a lot of things I regret,” Xaden rasps, “You helped me, confided in me - and I didn’t do the same thing to you.” 

“I was ready to fight alongside the two of you if you had told me to. I would meet Malek with honor. I may not be like you or Imogen or Bodhi - that everything I feel is so much and bleeds with every word I say or person I interact with - “

“No, flare that’s no-“

“You act like I’m not even a marked one. That I am not a part of what you all are planning. I’m kept in the shadows so that command never suspects you all. You asked me to help train Violet. You asked me to be a constant, to be unwavering. For what? To be forgotten?” With each question, my shouts echo throughout my bedroom. Neither of them are able to meet my eyes. “I would die for Aretia.” The whisper in to the space between us hits their mark. The full realization of what I know - the understanding, make it’s way across their expressions, their emotions. Xaden rakes his fingers through his hair, clutching it almost painfully. Garrick staggers slightly, holding himself up by clutching the bed post. “And now? It’s too late. I have my duty station. Basgaith is done. My journey here is done.” 

I brush my signet along their emotional tethers, unable to break the habit of comforting them ever so slightly. Understanding that the two of them lost their brother, lost people that were a part of them. Garrick lets out a shaky laugh as he feels the familiar sensation of soothingness. 

“H-How did you know about that?” Garrick questions, eyes finally roaming over me in disbelief. 

“Did you not think I would know every time you would lie to me? That the drops you were making were all that you were doing? I don’t know anything else but the restoration of home, of our home? How could you not think I would defend that with every ounce of my life for you?” 

“It was never because I didn’t trust you.” Xaden looks at me with a resolve I don’t understand. He gets up slowly, standing tall. “If anything it was because I didn’t want to chance losing someone else we all cared about to. We lost Liam and Soleil too easily. I lost them. I’m the one who is responsible for you all.” 

Truth. Feeling his honesty. Feeling his belief. 

“Flare, if were to lose someone like you, too? You’re glue, you’re binding. You’re a bridge. The same way that Violet is.  You bring Navarre and Tyrrendor together with your compassion. With your grace and spirit. When others look at you, they don’t see a marked one. They see more.” A knuckle taps against his flight leather pants in agitation. "I took a chance and made a mistake and I’ll never be able to earn that trust back. But look into my tether and now that I’m so fucking sorry. That I fucked up.” Xaden pleads, “And selfishly I was looking out for my brother, knowing that if he lost you? There was nothing in this world that would bring him back.” His voice cracks as he looks over at Garrick, a hand on his broad shoulders. “I’d rather you be alive and hate me, whereas dead and I lose the two of you in the process.” 

A shudder makes it’s way past my lips, tears trailing down my cheeks. I felt exhausted, I felt confused and scared and so many other things and all because we we’re so fucking human it seemed like despite my signet, despite my bond with a dragon - I was still so susceptible to human experiences and emotions. 

“I’m being assigned to Samara,” I tell them, not being able to dance around that any longer. Both of them look at me with wide bloodshot eyes. 

“Say that again?” Garrick demands, making his way towards me. 

“Samara is my new duty station?” Confused as to their reactions. “I was assigned my station before the official formation. It’s a death sentence, one they thought they could give me since they thought you were dead and I was a loose end towards command.” 

Garrick and Xaden smile, both blinding and perfect. Garrick for the first time in what seems like ages, swoops me into his arms, clutching me tightly as he cradles the nape of my neck. He shakes in my hold, as if whatever energy he feels is suddenly constrained in his body. 

“We’ve been assigned there as well, we didn’t get to chose our station. I guess they forgot that they had put you there too,” Xaden laughs, watching the disbelief as I realize what this means. 

“You’re gonna be with me?” I whimper towards Garrick, burrowing my face into the crook of his neck feeling the tidal wave of emotions of all three of us. 

“Never leaving you, sweetheart.” He laughs again, rubbing his hands along my back, clutching my hair, doing anything he can to just touch me. It’s been ages since we’ve been near each other like this. I can feel Rathnait chuff in the back of my mind, her also understanding that she gets Chradh with her as well. 

“We get a second chance,” Xaden grins, although I know he means it more towards himself. 

“If by second chance you mean I get to be in, full in. Than yes,” I demand, untangling myself from Garrick, to look at both of them. Garrick clutches his hand in mine tightly. 

“You’re in, flare. However much you want to be involved in. Garrick and I will tell you everything, and from there -“ He nervously wavers, “From there you can fully decide what it is you want to do. There is no one else I’d rather station and fight alongside with than with you two. The three of us entered Basgiath together, we leave together.” 

Opening my arms, he rolls his eyes playfully - ever the grump. Garrick and I pull Xaden into our embrace, clutching each other tightly with relief. We weren't gonna go through death alone, we weren’t gonna suffer alone. Samara was meant to be our death sentence but maybe, just maybe - it wouldn’t be so bad. 

[ayamari-no-goshi]

I found a way to restore what I wrote!! ❤️

Here’s what I started:

~~~~~~

Tim, what exactly am I looking at?” Dick questioned as he stared at the stills on the Batcomputer. In them stood a young man who looked so unsettling like an older version of his deceased brother that it made his heart break.

“I’m… I’m not sure,” the teen stated as he pulled up the cowl footage and played it.

In it, Tim was being held and threatened by the unknown man as he stood over Jason’s grave, one in a different location from what he remembered (had Bruce moved it?). After Selina managed to get Tim out of his grasp, something that seemed just a little too easy, the unknown and Bruce fought. His words and movements, both familiar and foreign, suggested he was a resurrected Jason, but as the footage came to an end, the man was revealed to be Clayface. Normally, he’d say it the unknown man had been the rogue the entire time, but something wasn’t quite right.

Replaying the footage a few times, he tried to pinpoint exactly what bothered him. There were a few brief seconds Bruce lost sight of the unknown as the fight moved from the graveyard to the nearby church. After that, there were slight changes in the man’s movements. It wasn’t dramatic, but it was enough. Then there was the blood. The unknown had bled before running towards the church. Was it possible Clayface switched places with the person who started the fight? The more he reviewed the footage, the more certain of it he became.

“There was someone else there,” he murmured as he brought up stills of the unknown before disappearing from sight and afterward reemerging.

“I thought so too!” There was satisfaction in Tim’s voice. “And he knew Jason’s grave was empty when even the Riddler didn’t, and it was him and Hush who set up most of what happened.”

That had been a surprise when he found out since he’d only been around for part of it. The Riddler, using a temporary boost in intelligence from being exposed to a Lazarus Pit to help heal a terminal illness, somehow made a partnership with Thomas Elliot, a man who was once Bruce’s childhood friend but now went by Hush. Between Riddler’s desire to show he was a threat and Hush’s need for revenge, the two created an elaborate game that caused Bruce to run himself ragged due to the shear amount of hints and red herrings. In Bruce’s briefing, it was suggested everything was orchestrated by the two men, but if the Riddler had no idea Jason’s grave had been touched…

“You think there was a third person involved?” Before Tim had a chance to answer, Dick finally registered a detail the teen mentioned. Spinning around, he stared at him. “What do you mean Jason’s grave is empty?”

“It’s empty. The body is missing. Bruce thought the Riddler was just trying to make it seem like Jason somehow came back to mess with him, but, like I said, the Riddler didn’t know. And I’m pretty sure he was telling the truth since Bruce broke two of his fingers during the questioning,” Tim quickly explained as he pulled up that specific footage so Dick could see for himself.

“So, our third party happens to use this mess to steal Jason and impersonating him for some unfathomable reason or… were they trying to let us know he’s been gone? Or…” he glanced at the footage of the man who looked like his brother. The man was older than Jason had been when he died and was much taller and broader than they ever thought was possible for someone who had dealt with severe malnutrition. Yet, other people they knew had returned from the dead, and depending on how it happened, maybe it affected him in more ways than one. “Is it possible that’s really him?”

“The only thing I know for sure is that his movements really rattled Bruce,” Tim admitted. “But he convinced himself it was just Clayface the entire time. I don’t think he can bring himself to believe that Jason, if that really was him, could question his love for him.”

“Or maybe he doesn’t want to believe another person he loved could possibly turn against him.” He glanced at Jason’s memorial case and sighed. Bruce shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss the idea. If it really was him, there was no telling what could have altered or manipulated him in the resurrection process. Besides, he knew things hadn’t been great between him and Jason in those last months. Happy kids don’t run away.

“But, as we know, that’s probably the least likely option. But for now, our focus should probably be on finding out who this third person is and what he knows about the grave. I’m going to need to talk to Bruce about this eventually. It’s not okay that he hid something like this from me.” Flashing a smile that he hoped made him look more confident than rattled, Dick gestured towards the images. “Anyways, let’s go talk to the Riddler and see if he can tell us anything.” The way Tim’s expression lit up in excitement as he scrambled to get his stuff softened his fake smile into something more genuine.

Plot bunny that I wish to write but don’t currently have the motivation to work on:

After the who thing with Hush, Tim asks Dick to review cowl footage from the fight in the graveyard when Clayface took on the appearance of an adult Jason Todd.

After watching the footage a few times, he comes to suspect Clayface was only there at the end of the fight. There was someone else at the beginning. Tim admitted he felt the same way and let slip the fact that it was due to that fight that Bruce found out Jason’s grave was empty.

Upset he wasn’t informed of that and suspicious of the mysterious Jason lookalike, Dick ends up doing some research of his own and finds evidence of this familiar looking stranger slowly gathering information and power within the shadows of the city.

Going undercover as someone presumed to be associated with one of the Families, he eventually finds a guy who initially mistakes him for the stranger.

“What’d I do this time? Wasn’t the info I gave you enough..? Wait, you ain’t the guy. What is he? Your brother or somethin’? You two look almost identical.”

That gave Dick momentary pause, but he quickly decided to roll with it. “That’s right, but he unfortunately decided to strike out on his own in a way our family doesn’t approve of. It’s my task to find him. You know how it goes. Care to point me in his direction?”

This leads Dick on a merry chase trying to find Jason while trying to keep up the act

Edit: I was gonna post the little bit I got done a few months ago… and somehow Word deleted it? But I can see the file that was called ‘Resurrected Hope’ and the page/page and a half is gone :(

[googlethedemon]

i hunk about the parallels og Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe alot like

They both were so similar and it's a cycle I think og Luo Binghe could unknowingly continue if he's not careful (and with the 3k harem he isn't being careful)

Both of them were mistreated by the rich and wealthy (Qiu Jianluo wouldn't have been Sj's only problem, with Slave traders and general rich folks who don't like street rats)

Both of them found comfort in a young girl's innocence and blindness, someone who ignored the problem and ultimately made things worse with their attempts at comfort

Both of them found comfort in women as adults.

Both of them have a inherent hatred for men due to their pasts, although Luo Binghe had less of a issue with getting along with others.

both started in rags and made their way to the top

Neither of them ever got what they really wanted.

However, there is some key differences in how they are that also means they are fundamentally different

As stated above, both of them find comfort in women, in understandably different ways. For Binghe, he finds comfort in keeping them for himself, briefly filling a void he doesn't know exists. While Shen Jiu merely finds comfort in their presence for he could never own a person in such a way, nor look upon a woman with such intent. I think this is a result of the differences in their situations, Qiu Jianluo likely took pleasure in the act, Shen Qingqiu thinks he's doing what's necessary and out of jealousy.

Luo Binghe gets what he wants, Shen Qingqiu loses what he gets

Luo Binghe's rise to the top was due to bloodline, you can say he had exceptional talent, but he wouldn't have clawed his way to the top without his birthright. Shen Jiu had no birthright to claim, and had to claw with only his intelligence to aid him.( Not saying that Luo Binghe didn't struggle and claw as much as Shen Qingqiu, just saying it was the guy with the bloodline that is essentially a walking unkillable god among men that got everything he wanted in the end (except for what he truly desired))

next point, Shen Qingqiu was a broken man who's talent was never fully acknowledged by others (outside of his shizun, afterall why would they put him in control of they didn't recognise that?) while Luo Binghe was a broken man who had his talent and raw power recognised and praised. (Shen Qingqiu had a talent for cultivation, he managed to get to golden core despite having very very messed up meridians and learning late! All without buffs too. He's also incredibly intelligent, being the strategy guy and learning mannerisms fast through osmosis likely, considering his act is so good no one can tell he's a street rat, being that other peak lords who hailed from the rich families thought he was a spoiled young master)

Binghe's roots are actually pretty clear, his parents? Only two people could have been them and both are famous, not hard to find once his seal was broken. Shen Qingqiu will never have a family and never did, his roots are as murky as sink water we made potions with.

Shen Qingqiu had what he wanted at one point, Yue Qingyuan, but they lost everything due to their combined issues. Binghe on the other never did and never will have what he wants, his Shizun's recognition

[reverieblondie]

Cal x Lae'zel

Meeting in Baldur's Gate

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A/N: Back to pushing my crack ship on everyone! I had such a fun time writing this final part! Though this is not the end of Cal and Lae'zel anytime I can put them together I will! Also I hope you enjoy the hints to Tav and Rolan! Thank you @dark-and-kawaii for the screenshots of course! I hope you enjoy!

The city that was once his shining beacon of hope is in udder flames and ruin. But Cal's trying not to be distracted by all that; he's sprinting to one place. The dock.

That brain thing Lae'zel was on is now in the harbor... She's okay, she has to be okay… Please let her be…

Cal sprints all the way down the boardwalk, looking out at the sinking thing. 

"Lae'zel!" he screams her name, starting to undo his leather armor so he can jump out to find her... Then, a calm voice says his name.

Cal whips around and sees Tav; his heart Sinks. "Where.... is she okay?"

Tav grimaces before she turns around, leading Cal's eyes to where Lae'zel stands on the shore watching. The red dragon disappears into the sky, and Cal leaves his spot to get closer, but he doesn't say her name or touch her. It's almost like he doesn't want to jinx anything.

Sensing his presence, Lae'zel turns to face Cal. She's still damp, and he desperately wants to wrap her in his arms. Laezel looks him over, her eyes shining like gold in this light. He feels his heartbeat rushing. This... nightmare is over... and she stayed…

"I guess... I made a decision…" She says, her eyes not leaving his. 

"I guess you did..." he repeats as he looks her over, trying to memorize this moment…

 Cal gives Lave'zel a smile, and he thinks she blushes with one of her own before suddenly going neutral again. Cal feels a tap on his shoulder, and when he turns around, he sees Tav, the day's hero. looking shy?

Tav shifts a bit on her feet, looking at her fidgeting fingers, "Um... is Rolan okay?"

Lae'zel rolls her eyes, and Cal smiles, "We can check on him if you like. He will be thrilled to see that you're okay."

Rolan was, in fact, thrilled to see Tav, then promptly yelled at her for being a crazy idiot.

He can't help himself; even after all this time, he still finds himself staring at her. Though the offer was made for her and Tav to stay in the tower, they decided to remain in Tav's old residence. Lucky for him, though, they seem to come by the shop every week. It's been an adjustment for her, but she's been doing well from what he has seen.

However, she is still getting used to things like people trying to sell her things as they walk through the city. That man just got done rebuilding his stall.

She's just so strong... It's enchanting…

Cal sighs, leaning against the nearest shelf of tomes.

Lia looks at him confused before seeing who he's fawning over, then gives him a playful swat. "You're still swooning, haven't you confessed already?" 

Cal fakes pain as he holds his shoulder, "It's complicated... and Rolan hasn't confessed to Tav yet!" 

Lia and Cal look over at Rolan, who is staring daggers at Tav from across the shop, his tail waving erratically; Lia gives Cal a look, "He's a lost cause for advice, but you, you like her, and she hasn't harmed you and actually talks to you so I'm guessing she likes you." 

Cal smiles at that thought, "I want to... trust me, I have put myself out there for her, but... I want her to say it first... to know her own thoughts before I put mine on her... I just want to be in her life any way I can."

"Wow, you really love her." Lia looks at him, surprised, 

Cal goes back to staring at Lae'zel, "Yeah... I really do…"

"His stare fills my insides with a storm. His scent makes my teeth ache, and I often think of his sharp nails tracing and marking my skin." Lae'zel looks over at Tav, "And he always makes my heart race so much I feel my blood rise to my face. Should I beat him down for what he stirs in me?"

Tav stifles her laugh, "I don't know if you desire or despise him."

 "Exactly my problem…" Lae'zel slightly laments. 

Tav looks over at Rolan and sighs when she meets his gaze; he quickly averts it and acts like he is working, "They often say the line between love and hate is a thin one.'

Lae'zel’s eyes widen before she sneaks a look at Cal; when their eyes meet, he waves, and she feels her face get red again, "Is that true? Interesting…”

It's a calm day at the shop. Rolan is organizing tomes while Cal simply mans the counter, trying not to look incredibly bored. Then, a sudden flash of silver rips the doors open. Cal immediately lights up as soon as he sees Lae'zel but is confused as to why she is in her armor. Before he can ask, he's suddenly being grabbed by his collar and dragged away.

He's not exactly sure how he ended up here or why, but Lae'zel has thrown him a sword. "Dance with me" was all she said before she attacked. He tried to tell her he didn't want to fight her, but he wanted to show her that he's strong and worthy.

 The Sound of clashing metal mingles with their shared breaths, and sweat pours from them both as they strike blow after blow, neither one backing down nor pulling their strike. Cal uses all of what he was taught, and as Lae'zel watches him move, she slowly gets overwhelmed by him. By his movements, by his sounds, his scent, by his power. Cal has consumed her thoughts... and now he's about to win... but before he can drive his spear into her chest, he stops, his face filled with concern.

"Why pull back!" She spits at him.

 He shakes his head, "I won't hurt you. I want to understand you. Why are we fighting?"

She holds her sword higher, ready for more, "Because we must."

Cal shakes his head and throws his spear down, "I will spare, but I will not harm the ones I love."

Her eyes widen, that familiar storm... that rushes inside her veins... She yells before she lungs forward; Cal winces but no contact... Looking up, he sees her standing before him with her head down. Lae'zel stares at his chest. She reaches forward and places her hand on his chest, feeling his beating heart... "I can't... I don't want to hurt you, Cal. I am... obsessed with you and how you make me stir. I want to protect you... for you to protect me…"

Cal puts his hand over hers; she looks up at his sweating face and sees him smiling. He draws her closer, placing his forehead to hers, "Lae'zel... you are so precious to me... You have shown me how strong I can be, and I want to use it to protect you, to be with you, and to learn from you."

Laezel takes in a deep breath, "What is this"

"I'm hoping, love." 

Cal moves his hands to gently caress her jaw; he lets his eyes roam over her for a moment before he leans into her full lips.

Lae'zel didn't know kisses could be so soft and kind…

"Lae'zel, can I finally ask you on a date?" Cal smiles down at her as he brushes away her sweat.

"What's a date?" Lae'zel asks, confused.

"Just follow my lead, and meet me tomorrow at the shop."

Lae'zel narrows her eyes, unsure, but then she agrees… anything for her beautiful Cal… 

At first, walking with someone while holding their hand seems inconvenient, but as she holds Cal's hand in hers, she finds she doesn't mind.

So this is a date. They are holding hands and talking while they walk around. Lae'zel is questioning why she couldn't wear her armor for this, but Tav forbids it as she throws her wardrobe at her to wear 'Something nice or Cute.' Lae'zel decides that because of her lack of experience on these dates, she will wear what Tav suggests, as long as it shows her neck. Cal likes her neck.

"So, where do we go on our date?" Lae'zel asks irritatedly as if they have been walking forever. But Cal just smiles and holds her hand tighter.

"You take your date to a place they would like." Cal pauses in front of a shop with a wide grin. Lae'zel looks at the shop suspiciously. She sees two Tieflings, smiling wide at them, and her frown deepens at them. Then they hold up a tray of muffins, and Lae'zel gasps before looking up at a very proud-looking Cal.

"Want one? I asked Bex and Danis to make some fresh for us."

"I will have more than just one..." (Lae'zel ate 5 blueberry muffins while on her date)

As they walk through the city, taking in its transitions from day to night, Lae'zel feels her guard lower the longer she walks hand in hand with Cal.

"Leave our city, you ugly hell spawn!"

Lae'zel's head whips to where a stumbling man yells. She looks at Cal, whose eyes show the slightest bit of hurt...

No… nobody slanders her, Cal…

"Excuse me a moment..." Lae'zel says surprisingly calmly. Cal watches as Lae'zel goes to the man and immediately starts beating him down. 

"Lae'zel, don't!" Cal rushes over, peeling Lae'zel off and throwing her over his shoulder while she yells out that Cals is hers and must be respected.

Rolan jerks awake. Bloody nightmares... again... nothing some water shouldn't fix for him to get some peaceful rest. But when he looks over at his nightstand, he is out of water, so it looks like he will have to make a trip to the kitchen. 

Tired, he makes his way to the kitchen and pauses at the sight of Lae'zel, Cal's girlfriend, wearing his shirt with water and food in her arms. He sighs. He could have gone his whole life without this image.

Lae'zel regards him unfazed, "Wizard."

"Lae'zel... What are you doing awake?"

"I never slept; Cal is tired and needs replenishing."

Rolan's jaw drops, "What?"

Lae'zel looks at him confused, "Perhaps if you are unaware as to why maybe you should ask Tav. I'm sure she would tell you or may show you with quite the enthusiasm." 

Lae'zel laughs to herself as she leaves Rolan in the kitchen, pacing from her comment.

Lae'zel returns to Cal's room with a smirk on her face. Cal gives her a look, "You seem proud of yourself?" 

She tosses him some food and places his water down, "I am proud." 

She takes off his shirt and crawls into his bed, letting her skin be warmed by his textured body, "Now show me this cuddling you speak of…"

[rekino2114]

Valentine prompt for Lacey with "rewatching wedding video"

You and Lacey rewatching your wedding video

Valentine's prompt #17

Prompts list

Pairing:lacey x gn reader

A/n:I might be tired and out of it because of school, but nothing will stop me from giving lacey all the love she needs

Your wedding was definitely Lacey's favorite day, only rivaled by the day she met you and the day you accepted her confession.

It was the day she was you two were forever bound to each other, the day when she finally let the entirety of her past behind to stay with you, you were her everything and from that day on she could say it with the utmost confidence in her words.

Which is why she loved rewatching it with you every year on your anniversary and on Valentine's Day, surroundings by all the flowers, chocolates, and hundreds of other gifts you gave her that she didn't think she deserved, of course she wouldn't say that to you as that would lead to even more gifts and kisses and reassurances of love, but she still loved them, just like she loved you.

"You looked beautiful, not that you don't now, that day was just special"

"T-thank you"

You had complimented her so many times but every time you said something about her wedding dress it was special, because she had made it herself, with how much she loved fashion you encouraged her to do it and even with how insecure she was about it all of your compliments made her feel confident about it ans about herself, she felt beautiful all because of your words

".......really.....thank you"

Lacey smiled and nuzzled into your chest. You loved seeing her so happy and comfortable. Now that you were married, your desire to see her happy and keep her safe increased even more. She was your wife now, and she deserved nothing but pure happiness forever

"For what?"

"For giving me this"

She raised her right hand and flashed you her ring, the one that you got for her and that she cried about when she saw for the first time

"It's nothing, I already told you I'd do anything for you"

The video continued now with lacey walking down the aisle. She did so alone, of course. You two didn't even leave enough chairs for her "family" not that she minded at all. It felt really nice to be alone in that moment. It felt like she had control in her life and by going up to you alone she was choosing to marry you.

"Your vows were beautiful"

"Yours too, I just put all the love I had for you and how thankful I am on paper and that came out"

You giggled a bit when you saw her almost crying from reading her vows

"H-hey, don't laugh. It was very emotional"

"I know, sorry, I'm just so happy you cried from happiness for once"

"I....kinda do that a lot since I met you.....and I'm actually really glad for that"

"Don't mention it"

Finally, the video reached the moment of the kiss, and you could see Lacey's eyes sparkle at that, your kisses were always wonderful but that one felt like she was on top of the world, like all of the pain she went through was worth it all for one kiss.

You sensed how she was feeling and held her hand tighter, happy to see no reaction from her, you then got closer and asked her

"Could I kiss you now too?"

"I would never say no"

You got even closer and kissed her lips, she reciprocated, and you two stayed like this, lost in each other's lips, for a while before breaking the kiss and looking at each other with so much pure love

"I am so proud of how comfortable you've become with my touch, I love you so much"

"There is nothing that you do that will ever make me uncomfortable, we're married now and I want to stay with you forever, your affection is one of the many things I want to feel in our marriage"

".......I love you so much, my wife"

"I love you too, so so much, thank you, for everything and especially for marrying me"

[samuraionyourmom]

Been thinking about my Android Dazai AU lately. I've been asking myself a couple of questions about it since no one else seems to 😒 /lh (if you have any questions, please send them in, I beg. I yearn to yap). I've been mostly asking myself these questions to help me flesh out this AU better, and I thought I'd share my process.

If you haven't heard about it, you can check out my other posts about it here as well as the fic I made for it!

So, anyway, onto my ramblings. Prepare for an info dump and a half.

I'm sticking with the main question I've been asking myself for this post, and that is:

Why did Mori create Dazai? Why not just stick with Elise? What are his motivations?

This has been one of the toughest questions I've been faced with when I imagine this AU. It stumped me for a long while, so I just ignored it for the time being. But after a deep analysis of Mori's character, I've come to a conclusion.

Right off the bat, I'd like to make it clear that Mori has no creepy or pedophilic reasons for creating Dazai in this AU, so throw that thought away. I don't want to hear about it.

For starters, I'd like to lay out who Mori is as a person. Or how I view him, anyway. Deep down, Mori longs to take care of someone. We see this in Beast when he's free from his duties as Boss and is able to open up an orphanage. He states that he wishes he could have saved Dazai instead of manipulating him like he did.

But as it currently stands in the main timeline, Mori is unable to indulge in this desire. He is a slave to the organization, as he puts it, and he has a duty to go with the most logical solution as its leader. Facts over feelings and all that. Whether that means pushing Yosano to her limit despite his own hatred for using fear as a way to control people or sacrificing Oda, someone who he knows is very dear to Dazai, for the sake of obtaining the permit.

All this to say that Mori is very repressed. Personally, I say that these secret desires manifest themselves in Elise. She has some of Yosano and Dazai’s characteristics, both people Mori wish he could've cared for properly, and he spoils her openly, almost as if he's trying to make up for lost time.

Now, back to the AU. Elise's existence allows Mori to indulge in his fantasies, yes, but he wants something tangible. Elise is a manifestation of his own wants, but she's not real. So Mori decides to make an android. Maybe it's in a moment of weakness, so desperate for something, anything, to care for to make up for the pain he's caused.

Why not just adopt a child? Well, as much as he would like to, having a child in the Port Mafia isn't a wise decision, morally or logically. So he settles for an artificial one. It's different enough from Elise because it's something that can just vanish into thin air like she does. Something physical.

He works tirelessly to design, engineer, and produce an android that can give him as close to what he wants as possible. Not a baby, though. He couldn't bear that. He settles on a young teen for the design (again, not for creepy reasons, you weirdos). Something that he could care for, but isn't entirely helpless.

I imagine the first thing Mori did was create the AI for this thing before working on the body, and suddenly, this AI just starts yapping at him from his computer. The android takes on a life of their own. Starts calling themselves "Osamu Dazai." Orginally, Mori was set on creating a feminine-leaning android (his failures with Yosano are still haunting him at this point), but Dazai's like: uh, hell no. I am Osamu Dazai. I am a boy. Fix my body, u stupid doctor. (I love transzai)

Anyway, Dazai helps Mori design the body he wants. It's more androgynous than before, which Dazai enjoys. He's implemented into it shortly after it's finished, and voila, our favorite little bandage boy, is born.

Sure, Dazai isn't exactly what Mori had envisioned when he first started the project. He had imagined something more docile, easier to project his desires onto. But Dazai is what he is, and he won't be changed now. He's here now, and he's here to stay. Very human, despite how he came into this world or how much he denies it.

I may or may not have been influenced by the recent release of the Stormbringer Manga with that last bit. Anyway, Dad Mori is real. He's just not very good at it.

[miss0atae]

Okay I'm going to write it here because otherwise I will have a million tags.

I believe it's the same for everything coming from another country than yours. I don't think the Americans when they produce their series or movies think about the rest of the world. We're just a bonus for them and we had to adapt to understand their references. Even if now it's easier to get an answer, you still have to look for them. We may believe our culture is close to them, but I think there are still layers of small differences that sometimes can be tricky.

As for understanding the nuances, no one can be surprised to know that things get lost in translation and that's why you always get more when you know (or understand) the original language. That's the beauty of learning another language. You get to discover nuances you never quite understood with just a translation. I would even say, despite learning the language, you may still miss some cultural aspect. It takes years and dedication to truly get everything as languages are a component of culture. They reflect and shape it. Also, it's something that is in constant evolution.

It's cool when we get the accessibility to different forms of entertainment from others countries. I would even say it's a great hobby because it can bring a desire to learn another language and so get a better access to the culture of the country through this learning. Of course, it's human to want to get something you don't have, but you can't force another country to cater to others before their own people. Maybe it's the kick we need to start learning another language. If inter-fan are so interested in what Thailand has to offer in forms of entertainment maybe they should seek books/places where they could learn Thai.

The more people are interested by another country and they make the efforts to truly understand it, the better accessibility they get in return.

Anyway, that was my two cents about it. This is something I work a lot on in my daily life and so I had too many things to say and it couldn't fit only in the tags.

A big reminder to inter-fans who keep complaining about the way Thai BL series are narrated etc.

Directors and production companies make them for Thai audiences and inter-fans should always be mindful of that (and judging by the subs, we as inter-fans sometimes miss the nuances so so much)

Source: bl_imagines IG

[thecheekyblog]

Good morning February

Lil recap from January, IT WAS A BLAST! For the first time in a long time, January went it a blink and i truly believe it is because i have kept my self booked and busy loves.

I had so many things to achieve and yet little time so time managing and my agenda were my best friends.

I lost the weight, got my tattoo, fasted, took care of my self, spent time with loved ones. January showed me that with discipline and organization and can do it all.

Now that i know i can, FEBRUARY I WANT A LOT FROM YOU.

FEBRUARY is the month of love, so guess what? I will be loving on myself. I will be doing a lot , like a shit tone of self care.

I will book a massage session, do more meditation, yin yoga, do a lot of hair care and much more.

For this month I’m showing up, i will be looking my best any chance i will get because I’m a baddie. Point blank period.

I want to take pride with the woman that i am not that i not already do it but i want to be more conscious about how i present myself. Not to appeal to anyone but more so because i should. I want to love the reflection at all times.

So here are the affirmations that i will be saying to myself two times at day

My energy is magnetic and alluring

Everything i desire, desire me more

i am the blueprint of success

doors open for me before i ask for it

I AM ABUNDANT IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE

On that note, love on yourself and let’s make February a success.

[misettemisette]

Chapter 5 ➺ Valleys and Peaks

Starting over In Madrid

Summary: After moving to Madrid as Real Madrid's new photographer, Nicky can’t seem to take her eyes off the pretty face Misa Rodríguez. But how will she handle her growing desire for the Canarian goalkeeper when her contract strictly forbids dating players? WC: 3K words TW: very suggestive PS: French writer Chapter 1 �� A harder job than I thought Chapter 2 ➺ Clearly on a bad slope Chapter 3 ➺ Calmly panicking Chapter 4 ➺ Hell Clásico  

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I was already lying in bed when I got Misa’s text. My pillow was wet and stained with tears mixed with smeared makeup. The bed sheets were a mess from all the tossing and turning as I tried and failed to find a comfortable position. I had planned to take the time to really reflect on what had happened, but the calm introspection I hoped for never came. Instead, I was overwhelmed by an uncontrollable urge to let go, to release the emotions I’d been bottling up for nearly four months.

So, I cried. 

I cried because I didn’t want to feel empty anymore. When I arrived at the Ciudad on my first day, I was still shattered from my previous relationship. My ex had dumped me as if our three years together meant nothing, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces of my self-esteem. But when I looked at Misa that day, something inside me shifted for the first time in months. That feeling had only grown stronger, filling the void within me, even as I constantly reminded myself it was wrong to feel this way.

So, I cried.

I also cried because I wanted Misa so badly it physically hurt. My entire being ached for her in a way I had never experienced before. My heart had soared when I realized Misa felt the same way, though I could hardly believe it. How could someone like her possibly desire someone like me? Yet, she did. Yet, it couldn’t happened. And, so it hurt. Very much.

“Nicky where are you? I thought you’d wait for me 😞” 

Seeing Misa’s message made fresh tears spill over. I had done it, I had finally hurt her. 

After we kissed and she returned to the pitch, the euphoria I’d felt was quickly replaced by a suffocating storm of guilt. I’d been weak, letting her believe there could be something between us, letting her know how much I wanted it to happen myself. And then I ran. I told my boss I felt sick to skip the post-match events. I hurriedly packed up my things and slipped away without telling anyone else.

Now, reading her message, my heart sank deeper. What could I possibly say to her? 

“I had to pack my work stuff. Sorry, I’m home,” I replied, sobbing more. 

A few seconds later, I received, “I don’t understand…” followed by “In fact I guess I do. Adios.” 

I spent the rest of the night crying over those words.

***

Days off after the Clásico passed, and I was back at work. Misa and I were no longer speaking. She ignored me during every training session. Hayley was doing the same, which led me to assume Misa had told her everything. There were no more photo lessons or endless chatting. The job I had once loved so much felt bland without friends, especially now that I had lost them.

And I knew I deserved it, just as much as Misa deserved an explanation. I was preparing myself to give her one. Of course, deep down, I hoped our friendship could return, but it was first and foremost because I had hurt her, and she had no idea why I had acted the way I did. Maybe it was also because I couldn’t bear the way she avoided my gaze at the start of each training session. Her cold indifference felt worst than a punch to the stomach. I found myself craving to talk to her, waiting for the right moment to confront her. But the goalie was never alone, or she made sure she wasn’t, every time I was near. 

Weeks passed, with guilt and loneliness weighing on me more and more each day. Angela couldn’t do much from afar, though talking to her for hours on the phone helped ease my frustration a little. On the other hand, I avoided most calls from my parents, unwilling to tell them about Misa. My mom in particular, had a gift for reading my mood from a simple hello, and I had no intention of letting her know how my attraction to the Canarian goalkeeper was making my life in Madrid far more complicated than I had ever intended.

***

Spring had arrived when the opportunity to tell Misa the truth finally presented itself, or should I say, when telling her the truth became absolutely essential. It happened during a commercial photoshoot for a new sportswear collection. Naturally, Misa had been chosen as the model. I had dreaded the prospect of directing her without having managed to speak with her beforehand, and I had been right to…

The set was a gym corner with a bright blue bench and a few exercise items. As usual, I was assisting the main photographer and his lighting team. Misa arrived on set, her face a mask of unreadable emotion. Her brows were subtly furrowed, and she avoided my gaze, as usual now. She wore the featured sportswear, a neon orange sports bra paired with matching shorts, knee socks, and white sneakers. Predictably, she looked incredibly hot.

She sat on the bench, elbows resting on her knees, waiting for pose instructions. 

“Um, straighten up… turn a bit to the left and… look at the camera,” I stammered.

Misa shifted into the pose with deliberate slowness. Her eyes met mine, and she didn’t look away. My cheeks burned. Her almond-shaped eyes were filled with emotions she was barely containing: hurt, longing, sadness…the mix showing her evident confusion. I swallowed hard. After a moment, she pursed her lips and glanced toward the camera.

“Okay. Stand up, put your hands on your waist, turn your back to us, and look over your shoulder” 

Misa rose gracefully, turning her back to us. The muscles of her tanned shoulders caught the grazing light from the spots. She flexed her arms, resting her hands on her waist, where her so-tight shorts clung to her figure. Her long legs were slightly spread to give her a steady presence while her underexposed profile detached nicely against the background. She was so stunning I couldn’t do anything but stare, heat rising to my face and other unmentionable places.

“Nicky, adjust her hair. We need to see the bra properly,” the photographer instructed. 

I unfroze and stepped forward, each step incredibly slow. As I approached, Misa held her pose, her expression unchanged. Our eyes met again, and I noticed her slight frown as she took a deep breath. I bit my lips nervously. Touching her felt like crossing another forbidden line. Her soft, sweet perfume reached me as my fingertips brushed the skin of her neck and I ran my hands gently across her shoulders, gathering her hair to one side. She stiffened and muttered something in Spanish under her breath.

I tucked a stray strand behind her ear, and she rolled her eyes, her frustration evident. My face burned, partly from embarrassment and partly from the intense heat of the spotlights. I retreated to my spot beside the photographer. He snapped a few shots and seemed satisfied, so I moved on to the next pose.

“Face us. Hold the ball in your right hand, let your left hand hang naturally, and look at the camera,” I said.

The photographer interjected, “Not straight at the camera, it’ll look too forced. Have her look slightly to the right, at you, actually.”

I closed my eyes. For real? I heard Misa stifle a sneer, indicating she had caught the corrected indications. When I opened my eyes, she was staring directly at me, her gaze intense, her fading sneer still on her lips. 

“Nah, it’s not working,” the photographer muttered. “She looks like she’s about to murder someone. Tell her to smile more naturally.”

If Misa heard him, she didn’t show it. Her expression hardened even further.

“Uh… can you smile, please?” I asked awkwardly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Misa’s chest rose and fell as she took deep, controlled breaths.

“What’s…”the photographer started.

“Tengo que salir!” she shouted suddenly, dropping the ball on the floor. It rolled toward us but didn’t hit anything by some miracle. She stormed off, slamming the door to the back room behind her. A heavy silence hung in the air. Finally, the photographer broke it.

“What’s her problem? That was completely unprofessional! I’m reporting this.”

“Calm down,” I replied quickly. “She’s not at her best right now. I’ll go talk to her.”

I timidly opened the door of the changing room. Misa was putting on a jumper, the promoted kit laying on the floor. She froze when she saw me but went back at gathering her stuff without a word and I closed the door behind me. 

“Misa… wait please, I… I have to talk to you…”

“About what? No necesitamos hablar”, she coldly reply while tiding her shoes. 

“I know you were upset because of me, I…”

“Oh, I wasn’t just upset because of you! But you sure did put the cherry on the cake that evening!”

My heart sank again, I tried to gather my courage. “There is something that you don’t know, something I should have told you a long time ago. Please, let me explain!” I twisted my hands nervously. 

The brunette looked up, her hands on her laps, her glance icy. “Vale, te escucho.”

“Not here, I can’t! Wait for me in my office. I have to finish the photoshoot, just give me ten minutes!” My eyes stung as she narrowed hers at me. “Please, Misa!” I begged.

She looked down and sighted. “Vale”, she said, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

“Will you really be there?” I urged her, unsure of her response. 

“Te dije que si!” she shouted as she walked out the door without looking back. 

I exhaled in relief, still shaken. Angry Misa was truly intimidating.

When I entered my office, I found the goalkeeper sitting in my chair, looking at her phone. My computer was on, displaying a photo of Hayley, Misa and me sitting on the grass in our favorite corner of the pitch, the three of us laughing hard. I ignored the prickling in my eyes. I had a job to get done. 

Misa’s gaze followed me as I rummaged through the drawers of my desk. I pulled out a folder, opened it, and retrieved a stack of papers clipped together. Grabbing a second chair, I placed it in front of her and sat down. I flipped through the pages until I found the right section and began to read. 

“Employment contract. Clause number 23. To prevent any conflict, the employee agrees not to engage in any form of personal relationship with Real Madrid team members. This clause applies to the current players and staff as well as any future players and staff. In the event of a breach of this clause, Real Madrid reserves the right to terminate the employment contract immediately, including any associated work visa or housing provided by the organization. Real Madrid will not offer assistance with any further administrative procedures for the former employee.”

I set the paper aside and looked at Misa, her face a mix of astonishment and heartbreak. “I’m sorry… I wish so… so badly it could be different.”

Misa leaned back in her chair, rubbing her hands across her face before letting out a forced laugh. "No lo creo! Que pasa en este puto club..?" She blinked and sighed. "Well, that does explain things…”

“I should have told you after the Clásico but…”

“Shh, Nicky please don’t, it’s done”, she said, leaning towards me. Sadness lingered in her eyes now as she glanced at the photo of us on the screen. “I just wish I could rewind and go back to that moment. La Copa de la Reina was still up for grabs… we were having fun together." 

My eyes stung again. "We were. I miss you guys…" 

"And what am I going to do without my awful teacher ?” Misa added softly, a small chuckle escaping her lips. “Maybe we could go back at being friends?” Her warm gaze shone with hope. 

I looked at her fondly, my eyes tracing her face, from her dark brown eyes under thick eyebrows, to her cute nose, and to the dimples framing her smiling lips. 

“Every time you look at me like that, I can only think of how much I want to kiss you Misa," I confessed.  

She smirked shyly, her cheeks flushing as she closed her eyes for a moment before locking them with mine once more. "Only kiss me ?" she dared to ask. 

I gasped at the thought of her body pressed against mine. “Not a chance” I whispered, leaning toward her. Our hands brushed on our lap and without thinking, we intertwined our fingers. Our breathing quickened as our lips parted slightly. Our faces drew closer and closer. “What are we doing?” I vainly asked, my nose grazing hers. 

“Nonsense,” she breathed, her lips hovering just over mine. 

“I’m doomed then,” I confessed, before crashing my lips against hers. 

I kissed her intensely, feeling an odd sense of freedom for the first time. We both knew the trouble we were in, but neither of us could stop. Her tongue brushed my lips, and I opened them, letting her in. I couldn’t suppress a whine, felt a quick worry about being overheard, before I sank back into the kiss.

Misa gripped my neck, making me so needy for more I stood up, leaving my chair, and straddled her. I enveloped her lips with mine again, pushing her against the back of the chair, my tongue pushing deeper into her mouth. Her deep breaths stirred me, and I barely stopped myself from crying out, the last of my restraint holding me back. Misa slid her hands under my t-shirt, caressing my back with her large palms, making my head spin. I buried my fingers in her hair, and she kissed me harder, soft whimpers escaping from her. 

She pulled my t-shirt up, revealing my chest in my bra. The beautiful woman stopped kissing me, pulling me closer, and making me straighten up so her face pressed against my breast. I bit my tongue hard, trying not to moan as she kissed the soft skin there. I was nearly panting, my hands and face buried in her hair, intoxicating myself with her scent and touch. 

Then, three knocks echoed on the door.

We froze. I jumped off her in panic, pulling down my t-shirt as I scrambled back into my chair. Misa quickly ran her fingers through her hair, trying to flatten it, just as the door swung open.

Ana entered, a stack of folders in her arms. She didn’t bother closing the door behind her. 

“Hola, Nicky. Ah! I see Miss Rodríguez is here. Did you call her in to discuss her unacceptable behavior at the photoshoot?" 

Misa scratched her nose, her hand conveniently covering her mouth. I was sure she was hiding a smirk by pretending to be embarrassed.  

"Yes," I replied, perfectly happy with the made-up explanation of her presence in my office. 

“And did she reprimand you severely?” she asked, turning her attention to Misa. 

Misa managed to compose a serious face, thought I caught the corner of her mouth twitching twice. “She did. I apologize for my lack of professionalism. I wasn’t feeling myself. I assure you it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Consider it over, but keep in mind I expect better composure under pressure from a professional athlete, Miss Rodríguez.” 

I saw Misa sink a bit in her chair before she slowly nodded. Ana turned back to me “Nicky I have a lot of things to go over with you.”

The goalkeeper stood up. “I’ll leave you then”, she said and Ana took her seat.

“Yes, thank you, Misa. Now, Nicky, let’s start with the most urgent matter: the trip to Paris next month for the Nations League…”

I tried hard to focus, but all I could think about was how wet I felt down there. 

***

“Hey Misa” I said, calling her from my tiny kitchen later that day. 

“Hola Nicky, cómo estás?” her sweet voice sounded even softer through the phone. 

“Estoy bien y tú?" 

"Bueno. What’s up? Did your boss figure something out?" 

"No, not at all, don’t worry! I… well… we were interrupted earlier, ahah… and I thought we should talk about what comes next…” I began pacing back and forth in the small room. 

“Sí, pero… I don’t know… I don’t risk much myself but I don’t want you to loose everything because of me… We were pretty close of getting caught”. 

“You are probably right…” I sighed. “But how do we fix things now? We’re not exactly behaving like friends do…”

She laughed. “Exacto. Right.” She paused, and I stopped pacing to gulp a glass of water. “Look Nicky, I say we wait until after Paris. I need to focus. It’s not against you but I don’t think I should be distracted by anything else right now. It’ll be a tough game against PSG, I have to work harder. I don’t want another Clásico…”

“I understand. Don’t be too hard on yourself though. You did your best!”

“I didn’t manage to save any penalties… not one out of five.”

“You know better than me it’s the hardest job for goalkeepers." 

"But I want to be the best goalkeeper, the one that can stop them, the one that can make my team win." 

I bit my lip, Misa was putting so much pressure on herself. At the same time, hearing her so passionate moved me. "You will be, I believe in you."

There was another pause “I’m glad we’re talking again, Nicky”

“Me too, Misa. Friend or more, I’m here for you if you need me." 

"Muchas gracias, I’ll see you tomorrow at training." 

"Bye.”

I hung up and gazed at the pink sky of Madrid through the narrow window of my kitchen. I didn’t know where Misa and I were going. I didn’t want to think about it for now. I was just too content to have earned back her trust after the valleys and peaks we’d been through. I took another sip of water, already feeling impatient to see her practice tomorrow, to watch her work toward being the best goalkeeper she could be. 

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[un-hinges]

I’ve gotten so used to not being able to see you everyday, so used to it that I can hope and go through days just fine without you here. I can be alone or with friends and I would be happy. But when I suddenly see couples together laughing, looking into each others eyes, smiling, cuddling, or even simply holding hands; that’s when I suddenly don’t feel strong and my heart starts to ache and I feel like breaking down. I try to stay strong everyday, I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing for all this time but I’m always going to see a couple and wish you were here with me, right next to me. It sucks, it sucks so much that I can’t hug, see, or just simply be with the person I love so much but this is a decision that we both made and I don’t regret it. Distance was how we found each other. Distance will never separate us emotionally.

[pm-my-beloved]

I want to add onto attaching Star Luminary to a sinner, with another one being : Emil Sinclair. First the motiff of fortunetelling, while not present in Limbus Sinclair yet, the Book Emil was able to have semi-prothetic dreams. Then we have perception affecting essence of things. The mark of Cain in Demian is not some supernatural power, rather, it is a sort of expression people who question state of things, and push boundaries have, marking them as "Different" in the eyes of society. Just the different perception of Mark of Cain from the biblical one, affects the essense of what it is, completly altering its meaning. Thus, as someone with such mark, someone with capability to see things in a different light from others, Sinclair is capable of seeying different reality. Thirdly, A different take to "Return to something that doesn't exist anymore". Blue star, and thus Blue Star adjescent abnormalities, will have thematic underline of Idolatry and Worship. Sinclair, both book and limbus, has a strong tendency to idolise people, taking them as both model and authority figures, trying to adjust himself to what he believes would satisfy them the most. He in fact, struggles without having a guidance figure to look up to, feeling lost without it, same as Luminary missing its connection to the Blue Star.

Then, there is an aspect we haven't reached in Limbus yet. Coming back to the failed check quote. "It can no longer go back, that the only thing it can do is try to become a star itself." This is embodiment of the arc that is set up for Emil. His story, is about following and clinging to an authority, but also, about growing past need for it. "The bird must break free from its shell, and the egg is the world." And to break free, to break the world, is to become a star, someone who's will and self determination is powerful enough that they exist for themselves, and may even be inspiration for others. After all, "Demian" was written by Emil Sinclair himself in universe. Additional context for this one : Harolds Book in Library of Ruina says such

Project Moon very distinctly sets up "Starhood" as being somebody, who's desires and means to achieve them are strong enough to be guiding points of people in the City.

And finally, Sinclair's themes of Duality, but rather than Hong Lu's take on it, Emils is that of Thesis, Antithesis and Synthesis, to be one leg in the world of darkness and one in world of light. To self actualise, is to both reach for the star one wishes to be, and to accept that the star is simply a marble, a goal set by oneself.

On that note, fun fact, within the book Demian gives a story on a man who was in love with a star, and deeply wished to be with it, but rather than pursue that desire with his whole heart, he gave excuses and eventually gave up, proving he never was worthy of it. The star symbolism traces even back then.

I may have sent this before, but may I give the thought of Star Luminary for hong lu's waw? I'm not super certain on it for 'em, but I feel like with how his canto refers to a sundering there'll be a case that he can't go home anymore.

as a bonus, it fits our last waw reciever to a T.

Well, for one, it's not Sundered, it's Surrendered, which to me moreso implies that Hong Lu will have no choice but to be surrendered back to his home or otherwise have no agency in what's happening, which fits what his position in the Family is implied to be, that being one lacking agency.

Either way, let's take a look at Star Luminary.

I believe we're dealing with two major themes here - the themes of perception affecting the essence of things and the themes of wishing to go back to something that no longer exists. We're also dealing with a minor motif of fortune telling.

Let's get the fortune telling motif out of the way. This motif is primarily within the E.G.O gifts associated with the Abnormality, that being Tomorrow's Fortune, the crystal ball directly given by it, and Oracle, a small blue star surrounded by cosmic clouds, which while Not directly tied to Star Luminary just yet, has enough pointers implying they might be connected. This motif could also be seen through the Abnormality being described to be saying things as if they knew what the players was thinking.

The two major themes are exemplified in the different choices you can make with the Abnormality in its MD Event.

The choice to deny the marbles being stars results in an exploration of the first theme. Regardless of whether you succeed the skill check or not, the core of what Star Luminary says is the same - stars are what you percieve them as, what they are in your mind. If you see them as marbles, then that's how you see them and that's what they are to you. There's a sort of subtle duality to this idea, as in both results the orbs are essentially both marbles and stars at the same time.

The second choice, the one to agree that they are stars, lets us explore the second theme. Similarly to the previous one, regardless of whether you succeed the skill check or not, Star Luminary admits to wishing to go back to the blue star. A failure of the skill check will result in the Abnormality admitting that it can no longer go back, that the only thing it can do is try to become a star itself. A success on the other hand gives an interesting bit of text from the player's perspective - "You have no idea where it may be, and you certainly aren't from it, but you feel the urge to go back to it." The Blue Star isn't necessarily a 'home', but something that compels people to 'come back to it' anyway.

So, with all of that laid out... Yeah. Yeah I can definitely see Hong Lu fitting an E.G.O from this Abnormality.

The motif of duality is already a constant for Hong Lu, and the idea of perception affecting the essence of things fits very well with the "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real become not-real when the unreal's real." motif of DOTRC that I believe is likely to play a big role in Hong Lu's Canto.

I could also see the second theme applying to Hong Lu, though not in the straightforward manner you imply it to. As is tradition of me at this point to connect everything to them, I believe this motif could apply to Baoyu's feelings about Daiyu. Daiyu is Baoyu's 'Blue Star' that he can't go back to, due to what is essentially their death. And, in the case of Two in One, just like Star Luminary can only try to become a star itself by emitting a similar glow, Baoyu can only carry Daiyu with him through bearing their visage.

Hell, even the minor motif of fortune telling works with him, and not just because his chosen emoji is a Crystal Ball. Hong Lu has this minor tendency to act as if he already knows what's going to happen. There's of course the TKT bit where he seems disappointed that things went according to plan, calling the world "as familiar and changeless as ever" in response. But it actually goes back much further. All the way back in Canto 2, Hong Lu seems to already be aware of the Sinners' exact destination for the Canto, even though the following conversation between Vergilius and Outis shows no Sinners were actually informed about that until after he makes a comment.

So. Yeah! It genuinely works shockingly well!