illshakeyouallnightlong-dean

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (Part 4)

Ok it came earlier I couldn't stop... lol

-K xoxo

Part 3 Here

Shutting me out isn’t the answer, flare. Rathnait snarls in my mind. I know she���s furious, hating to be shutout from me, but I also know she was more scared than anything. If I can’t reach your during moments of distress, how can I help you?

Sometimes I don’t want help, Ray. Sometimes I just have to feel it. Folding the rest of my clothes and putting away what few belongings I do have, I’m able to rest for a moment on the bed. The wooden figurine of Rathnait sits on the window, all I can do is watch it. 

Liam was so sweet. Eager to please, eager to excel - and training him was something that I actually found fun. He was the little brother I never had. Someone who could bring me back down from the emotional highs, someone who made me laugh when all Xaden and Garrick wanted to do was be serious. When he made the figurine of my dragon, Rathnait herself chuffed in amusement at how endearing she found Liam. He was just so filled with light that this hellhole had to swallow it up and take it away. It wasn’t fair. 

A knock echoes throughout the empty room. Already knowing what is to come, I steel myself for the inevitable emotional onslaught. Adjusting my new officer flight leathers, I wave my finger to open the door, staying close to the window. 

Both Garrick and Xaden are dressed in their new flight leathers as well. A pack and sleeping pad hitched over their shoulders. Remorse written all over their faces I don’t even have to use my signet for that. 

“Is it ok if we talk in here?” Xaden asks. Yelling from the graduated cadets echo throughout the halls, cheering and chatter are everywhere tonight. 

No words need to be said, but I also can’t just leave. With a raised brow I watch as they make their way into my old room, shutting the door. Xaden sighs as he slides against the door and sits on the floor, legs outstretched. It’s the least put together I’ve seen from him. Garrick sits on the bed, glancing at the wooden figurine with a wavering smile before glancing at me. I don’t make a move to sit by him, my arms cross as I lean against the window bay. No one says a word. The friendship the three of us had, seems like it teeters on the edge of the cliff. 

“I thought you were all dead. That all I had left was the memory of disagreeing with Garrick before War Games and watching my Wingleader not spare me a second glance as he makes his squad when I was meant to be a section leader as well.” Bland words escape me, trying to say something other than the yelling that I want to dish out to them. “And knowing I didn’t even get to see Liam before he -“ I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ve never asked, Xaden. I’ve never demanded Garrick tell me when I could easily hold it against him as someone he supposedly cared a lot about-“

“Care.” Garrick interrupts. Leaving no room for argument. “I care a lot about you, sweetheart. More than that. Don’t blame Xaden when I am just as much a part of this as he is. Be mad at me too.” His hazel eyes blaze with a fight I know he’s aching for. But the outcome might not be what he’s hoping for. Not when there is a duty station that’s my death sentence. 

“You don’t think I’m mad at you too? Tavis, I am furious. I am heartbroken. I was resigned to a life without you, and now?” Gasping for air, I pound my chest for some sort of relief from the tightness I feel. Garrick is quick to try and help me but I raise my hand, ordering him wordlessly to stay put. 

“There are a lot of things I regret,” Xaden rasps, “You helped me, confided in me - and I didn’t do the same thing to you.” 

“I looked to you as my leader, Xaden. Someone I believed in without knowing the full extent of what was happening. Looking past the relics, looking past the history. I was ready to go to fight alongside the two of you if you had told me to,” I whisper, watching the full realization of my declaration - the understanding, make it’s way across their expressions, their emotions. Xaden rakes his fingers through his hair, clutching it almost painfully. Garrick staggers slightly, holding himself up my clutching the bed post. “And now? It’s too late. I have my duty station. Basgaith is done. My journey here is done.” 

I brush my signet along their emotional tethers, unable to break the habit of comforting them ever so slightly. Understanding that the two of them lost their brother, lost people that were a part of them. Garrick lets out a shaky laugh as he feels the familiar sensation of soothingness. 

“It was never because I didn’t trust you.” Xaden looks at my with a resolve I don’t understand. He gets up slowly, standing tall. “If anything it was because I didn’t want to chance losing someone else we all cared about to. We lost Liam and Soleil too easily. I lost them. I’m the one who is responsible for them all.” 

Truth. Feeling his honesty. Feeling his belief. 

“Flare, if were to lose someone like you, too? You’re glue, you’re binding. You’re a bridge. The same way that Violet is. I took a chance and made a mistake and I’ll never be able to earn that trust back. But look into my tether and now that I’m so fucking sorry. That I fucked up.” Xaden pleads, “And selfishly I was looking out for my brother, knowing that if he lost you? There was nothing in this world that would bring him back.” His voice cracks as he looks over at Garrick, a hand on his broad shoulders. “I’d rather you be alive and hate me, whereas dead and I lose the two of you in the process.” 

A shudder makes it’s way past my lips, tears trailing down my cheeks. I felt exhausted, I felt confused and scared and so many other things and all because we we’re so fucking human it seemed like despite my signet, despite my bond with a dragon - I was still so susceptible to human experiences and emotions. 

“I’m being assigned to Samara,” I tell them, not being able to dance around that ay longer. Both of them look at me with wide bloodshot eyes. 

“Say that again?” Garrick demands, making his way towards me. 

“Samara is my new duty station?” Confused as to their reactions. “I was assigned my station before the official formation. It’s a death sentence, one they thought they could give me since they thought you were dead and I was a loose end towards command.” Garrick and Xaden smile, both blinding and perfect. Garrick for the first time in what seems like ages, swoops me into his arms, clutching me tightly as he cradles the nape of my neck. He shakes in my hold, as if whatever energy he feels is suddenly contained in  his body. 

“We’ve been assigned there as well, we didn’t get to chose our station. I guess they forgot that they had put you there too,” Xaden laughs, watching the disbelief as I realize what this means. 

“You’re gonna be with me?” I whimper towards Garrick, burrowing my face into the crook of his neck feeling the tidal wave of emotions of all three of us. 

“Never leaving you, sweetheart.” He laughs again, rubbing his hands along my back, clutching my hair, doing anything he can to just touch me. It’s been ages since we’ve been near each other like this. I can feel Rathnait chuff in the back of my mind, her also understanding that she gets Chradh with her as well. 

“We get a second chance,” Xaden grins, although I know he means it more towards himself. 

“If by second chance you mean I get to be in, full in. Than yes,” I demand, untangling myself from Garrick, although not being able to let go of his hand, not that I really want to. He squeezes it tightly, already answering the question. 

“You’re in, flare. However much you want to be involved in. Garrick and I will tell you everything, and from there -“ He nervously wavers, “From there you can fully decide what it is you want to do. There is no one else I’d rather station and fight alongside with than with you two.” 

Open my arms, he rolls his eyes playfully - ever the grump. Garrick and I pull Xaden into our arms, clutching each other tightly with relief. We weren't gonna go through death alone, we weren’t gonna suffer alone. Samara was meant to be our death sentence but maybe, just maybe - it wouldn’t be so bad.

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (pt. 3)

Sorry loves it took so long for this next part. Not to be too TMI but my boyfriend lost his mother last Christmas so helping him navigate grief has been something I take seriously and therefore writing takes the back burner sometimes. But here is the new part I am currently writing part 4 as well so hopefully y'all can get that within the next day or so!

-K xoxo

Here is Part 2

Angry steps make their way towards the leaders seated at the dias. Xaden Riorson commands the very space, as if he were part of command. Violet Sorrengail makes her stand next to me, and the presence of the person on the right of me is one I can’t pay attention to - no matter how badly I want to turn and look, no matter how badly I want to cry. Colonel Aetos is furious, his red cheeks and furrowed brows do no favors as General Sorrengail questions everything that has been happening since the start of War Games. 

“I was directed to take a squad beyond the wards to Athebyne and form the headquarters for Fourth Wing’s War Games, and I did so. We stopped to rest our riot at the nearest lake past the wards, and we were attacked by gryphons.” Xaden states, fists at his side as he looks at both General Sorrengail and Colonel Aetos. “It was a surprise attack, and they caught Deigh and Fuil unaware.” He pivots slightly, telling the wing the rest of what we don’t know. “They were dead before they ever had a chance.” My Wingleader looks at my briefly for the first time in what seems like years, for a moment there is a crack in his ever perfect expression. 

I must have blinked, I must’ve staggered. My knees crash against the hard floor for a moment before arms reach themselves around my waist to hoist me up. We lost Liam? We lost Soleil? I can’t hear anything other than the rushing of my own blood through my very veins, the beat of my heart as if it were to come out of my chest. Violet flits her hands around my face, her mouth moving but for the life of me I don’t know what she’s saying. 

Liam was so good. Too good. And just like that he is gone? 

“And we almost lost Sorrengail.” 

Violet’s eyes widen as she takes in the horror in my eyes. My friends were in trouble and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there. Tears blur my vision, and all I can do is breathe through the rattling in my chest. 

I will never forgive you. Pushing the thought towards Xaden. Watching as his spine stiffens, the hurt flicker in his eyes, before shoving it all away. 

“Breathe,” a warm voice whispers against my ear, “ Or you’ll pass out.” The emotions of everyone in the quadrant are too much. However, Garrick Tavis’ were always those of beacons to me - I was nothing more than a boat lost at sea in this very moment. Feeling his grief, his anguish, but also his relief, was enough to calm and steady my breaking heart. 

“Let go of me,” shrugging myself out of his hold, I get back into proper formation. Violet watches warily, unsure of what to do. “Go help our Wingleader, Cadet Sorrengail.” Hurt flickers from her emotional tether, being dismissed was something she didn’t think I would ever do to her. In this moment I don’t know who to bother with anymore. However, in a matter of less than a day it won’t matter anymore - I will be long gone, a new post, a new death sentence. 

Making myself numb to the rest of the questioning, I don’t bother with the insistent touching from Garrick as he tries to get my attention. I don’t bother with the few glances from Xaden, and unfortunately I can’t be open to the bond between Rathnait and I - not able to hear her in this moment despite her ramming against my shields. I know it isn’t her fault, this hurt and sense of loss that I feel - but I’d rather be alone. 

With dismissal from command, Xaden and Violet get back into formation. There is words exchanged between them and Dain, but again why does any of it matter anymore? As Captain Fitzgibbons calls out the additional names to the amended death roll, there are no tears shed, there is only silence, deathly still silence. Commandant Panchek takes the stand and addresses what is left of the riders remaining. “Beyond military commendations, there are no words of praise for rider. Our reward for a job well done is living to see the next duty station, the next rank. In keep with our traditions and standards, those of you who have completed your third year will now be commissioned as lieutenants in the army of Navarre. Step forward when your name is called to receive your orders. You have until morning to depart for your new duty stations.” 

The orders I received earlier feel like weights against my breast pocket. I had received mine earlier as a taunt, a warning since command had already believed that my Wingleader and his squad were dead. My duty station was punishment for whatever it was that Xaden and Garrick had been involved in, what they are still involved in. 

“Garrick Tavis!” My heart feels like it lodges itself in my throat, as if it were to splatter all over the floor as I look at him, fully look at him for the first time in days as he strides towards the commandant. A new scar lines from his jaw to his temple, deep and red - fresh. His wide strong frame grabs the paper and lets out a breath as he reads the duty station he is assigned to before looking at me as he makes his way back to formation. For the first time, I note an emotion that is rare from him, from someone I have come to know as unwavering. 

He’s scared. Garrick Tavis is afraid. 

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun (Pt. 2)

Part 2 is here! :) Here you can read part 1.

Just a little angst before we get to the good stuff.

It’s been 10 days. 10 days of agony, of turmoil and regret and anger - so much anger. I’m the only third year left. I’m expected to carry on my co-section leader responsibilities as if the absence of Garrick is a minor inconvenience. The early sun rises with a flourish of pinks, reds and oranges and all I can do is relish in this fleeting moment of peace. 

No one seems to care or notice that they aren’t back yet. I can’t help but seek comfort from Rathnait, my only anchor since the moment we left Basgiath. A warmth of what I could only describe as security floods down the bond. 

We can’t worry about things that haven’t been confirmed yet, flare. She knows my true questions, the things that I can’t bring myself to ask or think about. You must think about today, where we will go. Graduation day. I would be assigned to my outpost today, and by this evening I would be gone, my journey at Bagaith over. Turning away from the river, I make my way towards the flight field. The few third years left of this school congregate, awaiting as Colonel Aetos and Commandant Pancheck begin the assignments. 

“Congrats on graduating, Section Leader. It is a shame that Wingleader Riorson and Section Leader Tavis aren’t here to accompany you.” Colonel Aetos nearly sneers at the mention of Xaden. The obvious disdain is unsettling as he rifles through different papers. “Ah yes, your assignment. Due to your signet and the savagery of your red swordtail - you’re being assigned to the eastern wing…specifically, Samara.” He grins at me, almost maniacally as if the post is a joke. Rathanit snarls in my mind, rage igniting the very blood in my veins but all I can do is take the papers from his hand, saluting in acknowledgement. 

Where are you, Ray? My hands tremble, crushing the papers beneath my hold as I make my way quickly towards my room. 

I’ll be there soon, flare. Unless you need me now? 

I halt in the middle of the empty hall, knowing in a matter of moments the rest of the cadets will be awake to get into formation. Pressing the heels of my hand into my eyes, I can’t help but rest my back against the cool stone. 

Samara is the front line. Trying to get the ever rising beat of my heart under control, I must not panic. I am a rider. 

Are you afraid, flare? I shudder at her question, not wanting to admit the fear, the panic. But I know that she can feel everything, hear all that I think. 

They aren’t here. He isn’t here. A whimper escapes my lips, the reality of it all just crashing down like rubble. I will be going to Samara, there is no avoiding it, there is no changing it. While I had spent years trying to survive Basgaith, I would be sent to one of the most active posts in the region. I wouldn’t see Garrick. 

“Section Leader? Ar-are you ok?” Dain Aetos stands before me, hands out as if approaching a scared animal. “We need to get to formation,” I don't hate the kid, knowing that following the straight and narrow path is the life that is meant for some people over others. However, that doesn’t mean I want him to see me having a mental breakdown. Giving him a small nod, I manage to get myself to stand before fully looking at the Squad Leader. Something’s wrong. My own senses are beginning to go haywire. My signet. Only Xaden and Garrick knew. Command and Bagaith are under a different impression as to what it is. The manipulation and detection of emotions however was a daily venture, there was no turning it off, there was only controlling it and questing it and right now Dain Aetos was a mess. 

“I would ask you the same thing, what’s wrong?” I question him, dusting off my flight leathers. I don’t miss the way he flinches at my question, his hesitancy. “Do I have to give an order to know?” 

Taking a deep breath, he stands tall despite the sorrow in his eyes, “Xaden and the rest of the squad he took with him are being declared dead at formation.” I startle myself at the immediate sob that escapes my lips. “Leadership has been looking and there is no sign of them.” Feeling the agony of his own loss, it feels as if a tidal wave has pulled me under. The roaring from Rathnait in my brain feels as if it will explode any second. Dain’s grief, his regret all barrel into me with no filter, no shield. Rathanit’s confusion and rage down the bond. My own sorrow, my own heartbreak. There is no stopping it. There just is feeling it. Unaware of the stream of tears that roll down my face, the taste of salt jolts me out of the shock, the horror. 

“Round up everyone, squad leader. I’ll be at formation in a moment,” I murmur, the assignment papers feeling like large weights in my hand. He turns away to head towards the Quadrant, “Dain,” I call out, sounding like a garbled mess. “Thank you for telling me.” His own eyes glisten with unshed tears as he nods. 

My flare. I hear her call out, though to reach out seems like so much energy, all I can do is let her in with no barriers, allowing her to be there in the comfort of my mind. I’m coming, flare. 

Standing at the bottom of the stone dias. Everyone in formation, I don’t bother to look around. There is no one here to look for anymore. There is no Wingleader, there is no co-section leader - there is just me alone at the front. I didn’t bother to look at my squad, not being able to look at their questioning looks. I was known for being put together, not a hair out of place, no rumpled leathers, no dirt unless necessary. I’m sure the current state of me was a shock. Strands of hair fell in front of my face, eyes dry and cheeks raw from the tears. 

Captain Fitzgibbons overlooks formation, reading off the death roll. “Violet Sorrengail.” A moment of silence as all eyes look to the stoic face of General Sorrengail. “Garrick Tavis.” My heart feels as if it bleeds on the very floor I'm standing on, flinching harshly at the reading of his name. “And Xaden Riorson.” Captain Fitzgibbon’s voice rings out echoing around the quadrant. “Well this is awkward,” a voice calls out. Gasps are heard around the quadrant, even command seems unsettled by what’s happening. My knees seem to be locked in place, unable to turn around and see what is going on. My breaths turn into small gasps of air - no no no it can’t be, I’m dreaming. Dain said. I need to wake up. Heavy footsteps approach behind me, and two individuals take up position on either side of me. A calloused hand brushes against my own.

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Take Me To The Sun

Previously known as In Times Of Flaring: Here is the official Part one to the series! You can also find it on AO3 I finally made an account!

Take Me To The Sun (846 words) by leftmeinwonderland

The quadrant is in chaos. Finding out who is alive, who we all lost - and all I can think about is they aren’t back. He isn’t back. 

I wish I could comfort you, flare. Rathnait whispers to me, and for a moment I feel guilty that I feel so out of sorts for not being able to focus on shielding my emotions from her. Her talons tick nervously on the flight field, vigilant over my every move and breath. All I can do is stare at my dragon vacantly. Streaks of dark copper highlighted her grace, her beauty - running down the length of her neck and down each of her legs. Rathnait was a sight to behold, and I was only grateful to be considered worthy to be hers. Her scarlett colored scales glistened in the setting sun, as if mirroring the sun itself in all its bright glory. Her swordtail flicked in the air back and forth in agitation. We must not get ahead of ourselves, you would feel it if something happened to him. 

I reach out to clutch her nose to my chest, needing to feel the warmth of her breath on my clammy self. She nudges me gently, trying all she can to ground my spiraling thoughts. 

I can’t help but think of the moments I last saw him - the fight, the anger. 

****

“Xaden is already bending the rules with bringing Violet along, I can’t ask him to risk your well being as well,” Garrick murmurs in my ear as we watch the tense showdown between Dain and Xaden. I try to ignore the sting in my chest, having to wrinkle my nose to rid myself of unshed tears. 

“You're not even gonna try, after everything? You just expect me to watch you go? You’ve been keeping secrets, Garrick. This seems like part of one of them” I hiss at him, shrugging my arm away from his hold. Rathnait glowers at both Garrick and Chradh, his brown scorpion tail - the irritation she feels at watching me get hurt is almost enough to make her snap her teeth at them both. Garrick’s jaw clenches, his ever composed features faltering at the anguish I knew he could see in my eyes, could hear in my voice. 

Just say the word, flare. I’ll teach him to treat you with more care. Rathnait snarls at Chradh, snapping as he tries to nudge her affectionately. I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position, to push away her growing care for Chradh. You let me worry about that. Chradh knows you are the one I chose, the one I will always look out for.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish we had time to talk more, but right now I would rather know you’re safe with the rest of your squad. Your anger towards me is worth it if I am guaranteed your survival,” I watch as he makes sure his flight gloves are secure, flexing them before flickering those earth toned eyes towards me. My heart cracks a little bit more - all I want to do is scream. To shove him and get him to see that this is hurting me, is crushing me. How much more can I let slide? How much more can I take when all I want is to want him. To love him.

“And what about you? What if you don’t come back?” 

Xaden and Violet make their way towards their dragons. Squads have begun to launch to their respective posts, Dain and I are being waited upon by Second Squad. 

“I’ve survived too much to lose now. I’ll be back and we can talk - I’ll tell you everything,” Garrick promises, stepping forward to plant a soft kiss on my temple. Clutching his flight jacket, I can’t help it as tears fall down my cheeks. 

“It seems like you might lose me though,” Turning around to follow my Squad leader, ignoring the curses from Garrick, ignoring the way in which my Squad watches me with grimaces and pity. All for fucking War Games, all for nothing. 

I make my way towards the group, needing the familiar, needing their constant. Ridoc opens his arms, bringing me in for a brief tight embrace. Sawyer offers a wavering smile.

“Are you gonna be ok?” Rhiannon softly asks, wiping my wet cheeks with her hands. I shakily smile at her, making sure my own flight jacket and gloves are secure. I can’t bare to watch Garrick and Chradh take to the sky, having to believe that he’ll be ok, but at the same time wanting to protect myself from more heartbreak. 

“Let’s go get this over with.” I quickly scale up Rathnait, she chuffs at me, making sure I’m secure in my seat. Let’s go flying, Ray. Take me towards the sun. Sending my devotion to her down our bond. She launches quickly, wings flaring gloriously. The rest of the squad is quick to follow. 

I’ll always make sure you’re near it, flare. The light will never die in you, not even from this pain. 

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

In Times of Flaring

Hello my lovely readers! I'm slowly coming back! Wanting to give y'all a little snippet of a fic/series I'm working on for our hunk of a man that deserves all the love, Mr. Garrick Tavis....so please let me know if people are interested in this or if I should give the leading male role to a different character who are people wanting to read a fic with?!

-K xoxo

... all I can think about is they aren’t back. He isn’t back. 

I wish I could comfort you, flare. Rathnait whispers to me, and for a moment I feel guilty that I feel so out of sorts for not being able to focus on shielding my emotions for her. Her talons tick nervously on the flight field, vigilant over my every move and breath. All I can do is stare at my dragon vacantly. Streaks of dark copper highlight her grace, her beauty - running down the length of her neck and down each of her legs. Rathnait was a sight to behold, and I was only grateful to be considered worthy to be hers. Her scarlett colored scales glistened in the setting sun, as if mirroring the sun itself in all its bright glory. Her swordtail flicked in the air back and forth in agitation. We must not get ahead of ourselves, you would feel it if something happened to him. 

I reach out to clutch her nose to my chest, needing to feel the warmth of her breath on my clammy self. She nudges me gently, trying all she can to ground my spiraling thoughts. 

I can’t help but think of the moments I last saw him - the fight, the anger. 

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Violet: You aren’t allowed to fall in love with me, okay?

Xaden: That won’t be an issue

[One week later]

Xaden: THERE’S AN ISSUE.

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

UPDATE 2024

Hello my loves,

it's me - Nani- back from the dead. It was an extremely long hiatus full of burnout, craziness and all things life brings our way

but I've been feeling an urge to be back, to write again and interact once more!!!!

So I'm excited for what these new writing ventures will bring me and I'm excited to bring about new content to this safe haven of mine.

Appreciate those who have discovered my work and continued to support me while I was gone.

As for what I'll be posting, a lot of my interests have changed. Supernatural will always be my one true love, the reason I started writing but not there is so many things I've been loving that I would love to dabble into, mainly the worlds of:

-ACOTAR

-Fourth Wing

I'll still continue with some Supernatural content but for now, these new realms will be explored.

Appreciate y'all always,

-Nani

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

I know it’s been a while, but just realized that one of my favorites followed Little Old Me and I’m crying

Love you and always inspired by you @holylulusworld

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Masterlist

Dean Winchester 

I’m Always Going To Be Your Baby Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  (Series Incomplete for the time being)

And Just When I Thought Things Were Going To Be Easy For Us (Completed)

 Part One

 Part Two

 Part Three 

 Part Four

 Part Five

 Part Six

 Part Seven

Part Eight

My Love Follows You Everywhere 

I’m Not Ever Letting You Go

Don’t You Ever Mess With My Girl (Completed)

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

No Questions Asked

When You’re Feeling Sad - A Letter from Dean 

5 Minute Drabble 

Simple Man

CEO!Dean - Late To The Party 

Tinder Meet Up

Stay. 

Broken Home

Kiss Me

I’m Real (Completed)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

 I’m Fine (I’m Real 2nd Installment) (Completed)

 Part One 

 Part Two

Part Three

Part Four 

I’m Alive (I’m Real 3rd Installment) (Completed)

Part One 

Part Two

Part Three 

Home (Country!Dean Series) (Series Incomplete for the time being)

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 

What Are You Doing To Me, Sweetheart? 

Tenderness 

Relish

Don’t Ask Me

Anything For You

Mad Man (Completed)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

What If I Stay?

Still Fallin’

Crossroads  (Series Incomplete for the time being)

Part 1

Bruce Springsteen Series

Springsteen

Empty Sky

Countin’ On A Miracle 

Tougher Than The Rest 

Wreck 

Screw Being Rich 

Imagine Dean not knowing where you went

Imagine Dean taking an interest in you

Imagine meeting Dean at a coffee shop near your University

Imagine Dean checking up on you after hunts that are close by because he misses you

Imagine Dean visiting you at your college dorm

What Women Don’t Like

Burns Like Hell

Closer

Don’t Go

Autumn Series

Pumpkin Spice Latte (Dean)

Autumn Sunsets (Sam)

Firelight Love (Benny)

Pumpkin Pie and Whipped Cream 

It’s With You

Man Down

Silence and Comfort

I Don’t Want To Be Alone 

Swore I’d Never Come Back Here Again (SPN x Sons of Anarchy Crossover) (Completed) 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Love in a Bar

No One Else

Just Beg Me To Stay (Completed)

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3

Imagine Dean seeing you for the first time in a while only to realize things have changed

Regarding Dean 

Size

Dry

Almost and Cant

Liability

Part 1

Part 2

Holiday Imagines:

You Are My Home 

I Know What I Want 

Imagine finding a certain someone under your tree

I’ll Be Home For Christmas 

Other Characters:

Chuck

         I Want Nothing To Do With You, God. 

        Fare Thee Well 

Priestly 

        High School Never Ends Part 1 Part 2  (Series Incomplete for the time   ��       being)

Castiel 

          Mama, I’m Alright 

Sam Winchester

          All That Matters

          I’m All Out of Goodbyes Part 1 (Series Incomplete for the time being)

         Standing By Your Bedroom Door

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Danneel and Jensen Ackles attend The Art Of Elysium Presents WE ARE HEAR’S HEAVEN 2020 at Hollywood Palladium on January 4th, 2020 in Los Angeles, California (x)

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

JENSEN AT THE START OF THE DECADE || JENSEN AT THE END OF THE DECADE

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Simply, Lovely.

Think I’m gonna start another series (ish) more like snapshot moments between College!Dean (Quarterback) x Reader! It’ll be called the ‘It’s Nice To Have You’ series. Let me know what you think! And if you have any requests for it please send them my way! 

Dean x Reader (AU)

Warnings: fluff, swearing 

“Your girl was in the stands. Front row,” Castiel smirked, watching as Dean tucked his wallet into his jean pocket along with his car keys. The star quarterback did all that he could to not respond, knowing that his friends were baiting him. However, this proved to be pointless due to the way in which his cheeks tinged with a pink hue that spread down to his neck. The team hooted in amusement - their suave Dean Winchester was a mess when it came to you. 

“Alright, alright, enough. Y’all just love to make a fool of yourselves,” he huffed in mock annoyance, swinging his sports bag over his shoulder. 

“Right, cause we’re the ones who fumble the ball when they hear their girl scream their name!” Gabe cackled, reenacting the 3rd down that Dean had lost due to just that - your voice. 

“Hey, c’mon, Cut him some slack, we still won the game.” Chuck winked, amused by the way in which the Winchester merely rolled his eyes at his friends antics. He bid them goodbye, thanking them for another good game and that he would seem them during the week. 

The night was chilly, autumn surely upon them as he could see his breath and the wet ground began to frost over. Making his way towards his beloved car, he was surprised to find you leaning against the passenger door, arms crossed and a bashful grin graced your lips. He never failed to feel in awe of your mere presence, you calmed him in ways he could never describe, made him feel like he stepped in holy ground wherever you were. 

“I thought you would have been home by now?” He quickly deposited his bag on to the ground, pulling you into a tight hug. He felt your hands clutch his sweater at his sides, not allowing any space between the two of you. His fingers slid towards the nape of your neck, gently tilting your head up so he could press his lips against your own. Dean relished in the way you exhaled shakily before you pulled away. 

“I wanted to wait for you this time, handsome. Congrats on another amazing game, any plans for tonight?”  

“I’m all yours.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the way your eyes brightened, immediately rambling about the hundreds of things you could do. 

“There is a haunted corn maze we could go to! Or, or, or the local movie theater is playing the Paranormal Activity series and you know that’s the only scary movie I can watch since ya know, it’s complete bullshit -” you paused abruptly as you finally turned to look at your boyfriend, brows furrowed as you pointed a finger at him, “quit smiling at me like that. You know I can’t think straight when you look at me all…all…doe eyed and shit, Dean Winchester!” Giggling at the way in which his jaw dropped in shock, he fumbled over his words, trying to convince you that he was merely smiling because he could. 

“No! That’s… Ok fine - not my fault you make me happy, sweetheart. Now get your butt in the car and lets go get our scare on! I can’t wait to see you fall when the scarecrow with the chainsaw comes out and chases you.” 

“First of all that’s disgusting, how dare I make you happy. And second of all, you swore you wouldn’t mention that ever again! It’s not my fault there was mud!” You huffed, shutting the door and refusing to sidle up next to Dean. He snickered at your stubbornness, however, his good mood was incredibly infectious for even the likes of stubborn old you to ignore. It was especially hard when he wrapped his arms around your shoulder and dragged you across the leather seat and closer towards him - the norm for the two of you when he drove. With a nudge from him, you gave in and leaned your head against his shoulder, fingers intertwined with the hand he had rested on your thigh. 

With the stress of exams and classes that were immensely harder now that the two of you were one year closer towards getting your respective degrees - it was moments like these, simple silly lovely moments that you cherished. There was nothing like having a playful and doting Dean Winchester as the love of your life. 

“I’ll catch you if the scarecrow comes out tonight.” 

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Simply, Lovely.

Think I’m gonna start another series (ish) more like snapshot moments between College!Dean (Quarterback) x Reader! It’ll be called the ‘It’s Nice To Have You’ series. Let me know what you think! And if you have any requests for it please send them my way! 

Dean x Reader (AU)

Warnings: fluff, swearing 

“Your girl was in the stands. Front row,” Castiel smirked, watching as Dean tucked his wallet into his jean pocket along with his car keys. The star quarterback did all that he could to not respond, knowing that his friends were baiting him. However, this proved to be pointless due to the way in which his cheeks tinged with a pink hue that spread down to his neck. The team hooted in amusement - their suave Dean Winchester was a mess when it came to you. 

“Alright, alright, enough. Y’all just love to make a fool of yourselves,” he huffed in mock annoyance, swinging his sports bag over his shoulder. 

“Right, cause we’re the ones who fumble the ball when they hear their girl scream their name!” Gabe cackled, reenacting the 3rd down that Dean had lost due to just that - your voice. 

“Hey, c’mon, Cut him some slack, we still won the game.” Chuck winked, amused by the way in which the Winchester merely rolled his eyes at his friends antics. He bid them goodbye, thanking them for another good game and that he would seem them during the week. 

The night was chilly, autumn surely upon them as he could see his breath and the wet ground began to frost over. Making his way towards his beloved car, he was surprised to find you leaning against the passenger door, arms crossed and a bashful grin graced your lips. He never failed to feel in awe of your mere presence, you calmed him in ways he could never describe, made him feel like he stepped in holy ground wherever you were. 

“I thought you would have been home by now?” He quickly deposited his bag on to the ground, pulling you into a tight hug. He felt your hands clutch his sweater at his sides, not allowing any space between the two of you. His fingers slid towards the nape of your neck, gently tilting your head up so he could press his lips against your own. Dean relished in the way you exhaled shakily before you pulled away. 

“I wanted to wait for you this time, handsome. Congrats on another amazing game, any plans for tonight?”  

“I’m all yours.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the way your eyes brightened, immediately rambling about the hundreds of things you could do. 

“There is a haunted corn maze we could go to! Or, or, or the local movie theater is playing the Paranormal Activity series and you know that’s the only scary movie I can watch since ya know, it’s complete bullshit -” you paused abruptly as you finally turned to look at your boyfriend, brows furrowed as you pointed a finger at him, “quit smiling at me like that. You know I can’t think straight when you look at me all...all...doe eyed and shit, Dean Winchester!” Giggling at the way in which his jaw dropped in shock, he fumbled over his words, trying to convince you that he was merely smiling because he could. 

“No! That’s… Ok fine - not my fault you make me happy, sweetheart. Now get your butt in the car and lets go get our scare on! I can’t wait to see you fall when the scarecrow with the chainsaw comes out and chases you.” 

“First of all that’s disgusting, how dare I make you happy. And second of all, you swore you wouldn’t mention that ever again! It’s not my fault there was mud!” You huffed, shutting the door and refusing to sidle up next to Dean. He snickered at your stubbornness, however, his good mood was incredibly infectious for even the likes of stubborn old you to ignore. It was especially hard when he wrapped his arms around your shoulder and dragged you across the leather seat and closer towards him - the norm for the two of you when he drove. With a nudge from him, you gave in and leaned your head against his shoulder, fingers intertwined with the hand he had rested on your thigh. 

With the stress of exams and classes that were immensely harder now that the two of you were one year closer towards getting your respective degrees - it was moments like these, simple silly lovely moments that you cherished. There was nothing like having a playful and doting Dean Winchester as the love of your life. 

“I’ll catch you if the scarecrow comes out tonight.” 

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

COLLEGE!DEAN AU IS COMING (hopefully tomorrow) lol

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

Did he hit you in the ****?

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

If you need validation so much, then why don't you start a patreon and only allow people to read your stuff if they pay? That way you know they are reading and liking it because they are paying for it?

Because I don’t want people to have to pay to read my work - I don’t need the money. It’s just nice to know that people like my work (or not) I think I only feel this way thanks to the new tumblr format in which it’s hard for new posts to reach followers unless they specifically go on the blog. I don’t need money in order to feel validation. I would just be grateful to know through words or gifs or even a simple emoji.

[illshakeyouallnightlong-dean]

In Defense of Commenting

I have been seeing this post circulating a lot lately:

https://salt-of-the-ao3.tumblr.com/post/187188750581/unpopular-fandom-opinion

And I have a lot to say on it. So sit back, you’re in for a ride.

This is gonna be a long post, and a total salt mine, so if your delicate little sensibilities are gonna be offended by this, you might just wanna stop reading right now.

You have content creators who are pouring their blood, sweat, and tears into creating content across an innumerable amount of fandoms, and guess what? You get to consume all of this in your free time, as much as you want, for free! We’re talking people who are spending hours, days, weeks, months, sometimes even years to write stuff just for your enjoyment. Not receiving any pay for it - it’s done purely out of the love of the fandom, the art of writing, and the joy of creating.

In the current climate, there is so much of this “I’m too anxious/tired/mentally unable to comment” rhetoric going around, and it’s coupled with tons of justifications as to why it’s “a-okay” to be this way. Fandom as a whole is so full of so much coddling of this sort of behavior, and it’s frankly damaging to the writers who work so hard on their fic.

I don’t care how you want to spin it, this is selfishness, pure and simple. You’re really going to consume the writer’s hard work and then turn around and say you’re “too anxious or mentally unable” to do something as simple as string together two words to say “thank you” to the author? We’re not talking about writing a whole essay on why you enjoyed certain aspects of a particular piece. Just a simple “this was great” or “thank you for sharing!” is just fine!

Stop and think for a second: if you’re so anxious looking at a blank box on AO3 or wherever, wondering what you’re supposed to say, or how to say it… imagine how hard it was for the author to put planning and creative energy, as well as countless hours into their piece, and then have the courage to post it in the first place. Are your feelings of anxiety, or your mental fatigue, really more important than letting that person’s hard work and courage to post go completely unappreciated? Imagine how nerve-wrecking it is to post something onto the internet that is so near and dear to your heart, that you’ve worked so hard on, and how disheartening it is to see hit counts in the hundreds or even sometimes thousands, and not get any comments whatsoever, and hardly even any kudos? Being “tired” isn’t a good enough excuse, I’m sorry. You obviously weren’t so mentally worn that you couldn’t follow along with a complex plot, right? So now you’re saying you can’t leave a quick “thanks” for the author, who worked so hard on this fic?

I really don’t care if this comes off as a guilt trip. If you feel bad reading this post, then you really should! Because you’re basically telling the content creators that while you can certainly sit there for hours and consume their content, you can’t be bothered to spend a couple of minutes to give a little in return for all their time and energy. Imagine if all the content creators suddenly decided they were too anxious or tired to write or post for you to enjoy it? Then you wouldn’t have anything at all.

For someone to post something they worked really hard on, only to get crickets, is a damned shame. Plain and simple as that. We, as readers, have to do better by the lovely creators who put so much into our fandoms and keep them alive. It really doesn’t take that much to leave a simple note of gratitude, and we really shouldn’t make it okay to not do so. It should be considered in bad taste at the very least to not do so. Feedback and appreciation are the lifeblood of content creation. Without it, we leave these poor souls feeling disheartened, unvalued, and ignored. We need to get back to expecting these things as content creators, and expecting to need to show our appreciation for content as readers. Happy creators produce more content! So let’s work on learning how to give a little back to them!