#theyll take care of you SO HARD
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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its so fucking disheartening realising that no one actually sees me as a guy, they just pretend to - and yeah its great being called theo but its less great being lumped in as one of the girls in the same breath
#i dont mind being the only non-girl invited to something (like my sisters hens for example) bc that just feels like a Gay thing yknow#but when the invite is 'hey girls' its kind of hard to consider that you see me as anything else#and i think the worst part - and this is probably the part of me that lacks self respect - is that i get it.#i have long hair i dress 'fem' and the only steps ive managed to take in my transition are wearing a binder and going by a different name.#so sure. but its still gutting and makes me feel fucking /gross/ makes my stomach hurt and my skin crawl#because like. theyll call me theo and a brother and an uncle and a son but?? do they even mean it??#do they actually believe what theyre saying or is everyone just going along with it because they dont want to look like assholes?#i almost prefer my uncle whos at least UPFRONT about not understanding it#like at least hes honest at least when he calls me a girl i expect it#i just wanna curl up w my nephew and read bc at least he doesnt even understand gender yet#to him i AM just his uncle and thats all he cares about#captain speaks
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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I genuinely agree with your take. It's true that the trauma Rayla experienced doesn't excuse her actions, but it deeply explains the reasoning behind it. And in a way, you see Amaya soften up after seeing herself in Rayla in terms of being stoic, strong, and lonely in handing things alone. She's opened up more. Callum refuses to let Rayla push him away, that everything they do and face, they do it together, accepting his help and leaning on him for support. Little by little, she's growing and maturing, and I'm proud of her. There's still a long way to go for her, but she will get there.
With all the time that all four of Rayla's parents have spent self-reflecting, whether in the coins or while being alone and self-isolated from the community over the last two years, I sincerely hope that it can transition to all five of them reconciling, healing and repairing their broken, fractured family. No doubt that all 4 of her parents are incredibly scarred, haunted, devastated, and extremely hurt by the failures and negligence committed. Imagine the uncontrollable, horrifying nightmares they must be having of Rayla, being tormented by her memory every night. Their hurt, pain, heartbreak, emotional/psychological torture, and suffering are perhaps far worse than we imagined. I wouldn't even know where to begin with addressing Moonfam's family issues. But they deserve to have their family again after all they've been through.
But Rayla also has a right to feel and express her anger, resentment, disdain, animosity, and even her rage towards all four of her parents for what they put her through. Let her say what she needs to say. Let Rayla be angry and messy.
Seeing people crap on arc two Rayla genuinely makes me sad. I don't think many people truly realize the depth of Rayla's isolation. What happened to all the characters in arc one was horrible (I am not down playing that), Callum and Ezran lost their father, and Soren lost his family, but they all had Katolis to go back to. Their home. Rayla lost EVERYTHING. She lost the assassins who she grew up with and trained her, she lost her home, and worst of all she lost her parents. She lost Runaan and Ethari in one go, only months after her parents. And all she had to remember them by was what they taught her. And they taught her self sacrifice, they taught her to do questionable things in the name of protection and the greater good. Viren threatened everything she loved which WAS Callum and Ezran, and she thought he was still alive. She was stuck in fight or flight mode, she was bathed in trauma. And she had a point in TTM, everyone was just moving on, and didn't take or let her have anytime to truly grieve. She was in such a dark place in TTM and it influenced her decisions. She knows she did something wrong, she knows she hurt Callum. She hasn't brought herself to apologize yet, but why did we stop treating her as human? (Or elf, as it were)
Also hi, I've recently been liberated from TDP reddit
#he gets it better than anyone. and i fully believe that him knowing that is part of why he did eventually accept her back and fight so hard#understands the hardships rayla has endured with her family and society as well as callum does. callum was actually there to see part of it#for her and defend her once he healed some. i feel like some people who comment on the bond between rayla and callum in s5 being too nice#too quick or whatever may not have the most healthy relationship with some people theyre close to irl. i know thats making a big assumption#but when you truly love and care about someone and are mature enough you understand when its important to accept them back in after theyve#hurt you. it is NOT always appropriate to do so. some people are too toxic to do that with and theyll just hurt you more. but sometimes#thats not the case. sometimes you understand that person deeply and love them as a person so much that you accept them back. which helps#with healing for both of you. again. not always applicable. definitely have to weigh the options on if its worth it to still keep that#person around for your own mental health and stuff. but for these two. it is worth it. especially cuz they both know they have flaws as#their own people but still see it worth it to love each other anyway. its sweet. and i guess some people just cant accept that.#(and are also the kind of people that will probably just hate a lot of women characters anyway no matter what they do)#ive kinda lost the plot here. which im good at doing. but yeah. no one understands rayla as deeply as callum and ez do. and callum even#moreso than ez. he especially knows and understands what is tormenting her. which some toxic people who watch the show dont seem to#understand. also id like to add- the trauma that has happened to rayla does not EXCUSE her actions. what she did was still bad. but her#trauma does EXPLAIN her actions. those are 2 distinct things that once realized can help with recover and growth imo. and i feel like#callum knows that to at least some extent#imo more people need to understand the concept of 'this doesnt EXCUSE their actions but does EXPLAIN them' because it really is good to#remember for irl stuff. for both themselves and other people. its a concept i do not think a lot of toxic people grasp.#in any fandom and irl#im rambling so so bad rn im real sorry#< i hear you. no worries. i completely understand.#you bring up a lot of valid fair points#appreciate your take on it#apologies for my rambling as well#the dragon prince
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𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄
• executioner!james potter x queen!reader
•angst
• nav | james potter m.l
• blurb, cheating, implied death
you stroked james’ head as he cried into your nightgown, his hands clenching the fabric so hard his knuckles turing white.
tomorrow he was going to execute you.
“james, dont cry” you cooed, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“i wanna go with you” he sobbed, his knees hurt from the stone under him. james lifted his head, his tear stained face was something youll always remember.
“you cant. i told you what you were going to do, you have someone to take care of.” you sighed, your hand slipping from his hair to his cheek, he leaned into your touch and turning his head to kiss your hand. more tears fell down his face.
“if they find me, theyll do the same” he sobbed.
“they wont, i made sure of it. you do what remus says and it wont happen.” you reasured him.
remus could see both of you, a gaurd dog, litterally.
“please…please…just do what he says and it wont happen, he will call it off- i wont have to do it.” james begged in a broken voice. you shook your head.
“i can’t james, you know that” you sighed.
a soft whine started.
“cmon, she wants her father” you stood up and guided him off the floor, taking him to her crib. you wiped the tears from his eyes before picking her up. she giggled and reached out for you two.
it had always killed you to pretend she was the kings child.
you held her so that she could see both of you.
“please james, do it for me”
#marauder era#marauders#james potter#marauders james potter#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader#james potter fanfiction#james potter marauders#morwap#harry potter universe fanfic#royal au
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Book of Bill Website Codes
(Organized by category with notes)
Here's my list of inputs that work on the website :)
Hopefully the read more works like I think it does and I don't accidentally spoil anybody
That being said by clicking read more you will see All of the codes I have found so far
Please be mindful and try not to spoil anybody else with this information. So please be careful if reblogging
I got everything I have collected/found on here, it's a bit messy right now but After I take a small break I'll reorganize and add notes but for now everything's on here, please so check out the posts linked in the log as once I lost all leads I looked to their post for other inputs :)
Also feel free to put any you know of that Aren't on here in the replies I'm sure there's some missing
I will be updating as I find more so check back in if you can! :)
Thank you!
They'll be categorized by
Neat Tv text- Nothing special the tv just gets some text to it
Tab pages-brings you to another tab/website
Audio/video- Audio/video clip plays
Readables- A picture will pop up on screen that you can read
Printables- You can print them :D!
Other- Hard to categorize
Note:
If an * is next to a name that means that you can get different results for the same prompt
(Any personal notes will be in parenthesis)
-> An arrow means that the Passwords are found in the previous page
ex- Page with code that translates to "dork"-> Dork
Slashes/mean/that/any/of/the/prompts/listed/will/take/you/to/the/same/page
Blue text with an underline is a link! Haha! would you look at that! it works!
Will Keep this updated as I find more and will Note the logs at the end of this post
?????
For the mason page anagrams I know WHO they are I just don't know WHAT to do with them, i know it says cryptogram codex at the bottom i think i have to do something with the anagram results but I'm unsure what that is. Stanford Pines Stanlie Pines Gideon Charles Gleeful Preston Northwest Pacifica Elisa Northwest
Notes to Dipper Prompt: (Unsure why- Maybe going to Blind eye page and blurring it but changes from dipper being told to stare at the sun to "I THINK ITS WORKING! STARE HARDER! HARDER!" and the page looking burnt I Think it has to do with how many input codes you enter, It now says "you've almost solved it" and is even more burnt than before, it is now full black)
Neat Tv text-
Pines
Blendin
*Triangle
Axolotl
Ducktective
Book of Bill
TJ Eckleburg (Great Gatsby)
Nothing
Something
*Ciphertology
Deer Teeth
Scalene
Scrimbles
No
Fortnite/skibidi/ohio/rizz/crypto/elon/gyatt/Doge
Life
Death
Portal
Question
Answer
Euclid
*Well Well Well Being
Reality
The Universe
Journal 1
Journal 2
Journal 3
Theyll see/They'll all see/I see
Filbrick
Disney/Disneyland/Mickey Mouse
CIA/FBI/NSA
333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611
Season 3
Season 2
Season 1
Caryn
Euclydia
Skeleton
Who are you
Burnside
Family matters
When will I die
Multilevel mark/caesaratbashvigenere
Scientology
Easter egg
Sevral times
oh yes they both
Am i Blanchin
Bye gold
Youre insane
History
Hologram
Scalene
Euclid
Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel
Text Chain (You get questions who's answer is another password)
Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> 333 sundapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611-> MutliLevel mark->emmaline butternubbins->Dispense my treat
What i thought it was (with answer sources):
Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel
Answers found in TBOB- Don't Know, NA, Mcguckets dream page, Medieval page, Anti-Cipher Section- tonic page, Anti Cipher Section- Newspaper, Top Secret page, Textbook page- Skin, Dark Ages Page, Anti Cipher Section-Epilogue, A winter break- footprints page, Book of Bill Cover options page, Never trust a wizard page, Have you dreamed this fellow ad (references informercial in show)
Tab pages-
Abuelita
Dippy Fresh
Alex Hirsch/Alex/Hirsch
*Stan/Stanley (his outfit in ebay searches plus a READABLE with SICK music mind you-Check readable section for more info)
Grunkle Stan
*Gideon (second option unlocked after fully "mableizing" the room)
Waddles
Mcgucket/ Old man McGucket/Fiddleford
Bill/Cipher/LLIB/LLIBREHPIC
Bill Cipher/Rehpic
Zyler (Goes to same place as Craz)
Craz (Goes to same place as Zyler)
Toby Determined
Gravity Falls
Mystery Shack
Not a phase
Blanchin
Peak
Cray Cray
Fixinit1
Meow
Fuck alex/Fuck you alex
Globnar
Monster
Audio/video-
Babba/Discogirl
*Gideon (unlocked after fully "mabelizing" the room)
Tad Strange
Pinata (DEFINATELY WORTH WATCHING)
Vallis Cineris (Found on wall when lightning strikes)
Hey Nerd
Weird (Love him)
Spookemups/Spooky/Scary
That's just a/Theory/Gametheory/Matpat (<3)
One Eyed King-> Naitsuaf (Morse Code) ( early years page)
Forget the past
Im still on your mind
Dorito/Nacho
Just fit in
Rubberhose
Love/Boyfriend
Hectoring
Conspiracy
God/Frillium/Help me
Burned inside
Kook
Kubrick
Small/audio log/music (nothing showed up at first, turned off tv and strange audio played, needs to be reversed)
L is real 2401 (soos my boy)
Readables-
Mason (Dippers real name)
*Dipper (personal notes in ???- keep opening the card to get different results)
Pacifica-> PlatinumPaz
Ford/Standford/Sixer
Wendy
Robbie (def worth a look IMO)
Soos-> Pinata
Cursed (Translated from candle in background)
Ad Astra Per Aspera
Blind Eye->Theyll see (Will blur if clicked on, cannot un-blur, may change dipper?)
Weirdmageddon
Lies
Sorry
Booberry (Decoded from popsicle stick)
Even his lies are lies (Front paper)
Tantrum ( code on Bills Mugshot page)
Suck it Merlin
Shave your Grandma (leads to dippy fresh page)
Baby Bill/baby/lalalalala/daddy/mommy
Owl Trowel
Hotxolotl->Seven eyes-> r34lity
Love ya bro
Fuck/Shit/Fuckyou/bitch/slut/sex
Baaaa-> Black Sheep
naitsuaf (click are you ready-> Sign "pleasure doing business with you -candle light turns blue- OR be a coward (losing sound effect plays)
oroborous-> Frillium
Glass sand beach
math/trigonometry/
horror/creepypasta
destruction is a form of creation
unreality
you can't kill an idea
virus
Occurremusiterum
*Stan (click multiple times to get-once there click "how he beat me several times)
Card
Theraprism
Dionarap->stod eht tcennoc
Printables-
Tyrone/Clone/Paperjam
Curse Wittebane (translates runes on page about witches)
Paper is just book skin ( BE WARNED: automatically downloads a photoshop file and crashses the cite)
Irregular (has code on it)
Divorce/breakup
Other-
Mabel (You get fun stickers and a popping sound :) )
*Giffany ( You put her name in multiple times and it forcibly downloads pictures of her and a text document to your computer, scared me a little Not gonna lie here)
Kings of New Jersey (downloads "secret code" font)
cryptogram codex (downloads cryptogram fonts)
dispense my treat-> Kook (downloads a bunch of cool wallpapers)
Log:
One hour after posting: Added 17 new words
Found by me: Booberry, Mountain Dont, Xgqrthx, titans blood, lyre liar, haralds ramblings, union made
Accidentally found by looking at a post: Sorry
Gifted by replier (Thank you!): MATPAT, yes, no, Fortnite, life, death, portal, question, answer
30 minutes after last update: 9 Words added
Found by me: Theraprism, 29121239168518, Grebley Hemberdreck, Rat, 3466554, Tinsel Snake, Torture Mentally, Fordtramarine, Gun (shocked that worked It was a joke- "bill cipher has A GUN")
Like THREEEEEEE ish hours later?
Found by me: one eyed king, well well well being, shave your grandma, paper is just book skin, even his lies are lies, forget the past, irregular, euclid, tantrum, suck it merlin
Like 12 hours later
Found by me: Reality, Baby Bill, Reality, The universe, Giffany (why is it two Fs, Blarg) They'll see, I'm still on your mind, Journal 1, Journal 2, Journal 3
Gifted to me by a replier (Thank you!): Owl Trowel
Idk- Later
Found by me: hotxolotl, lova ya bro, kings of new jersey, fuck, just fit in
Found on twitter(JasonRitter): Dorito, Blanchin'
Gifted to me by Replier(Thank you!): Gideon's option knowledge
Even MORE later:
Me: Seven eyes, r34ality, filbrick, disney, skibidy, rizz, ohio, love, cia, fbi, rubberhose, 333 sundapple lane cozy creek il 60714-94611, bahhhh, black sheep, naitsuaf, oroborous,theyll see, theyll all see Frillium, occuremusiterum (some of these i gave myself because i was really close but just missed a small detail/spelling)
Taken from here and Here Because I got stumped: Season 3, Season2 , Season 1, Glass shard beach, caryn, Euclydia, Peak, Theory, Cray Cray, Help me, mickey mouse, hectoring, divorce, breakup, skeleton, math, history, monster, gyatt, who are you, fixinit1, conspiracy, riddle, cryptogram codex, horror, creepypasta, trigonometry, god, boyfriend,baby, lalalalala, scary, trigonometry,just blendin, morality, burnside, family matters, when will i die, elon, multilevel mark, goodnight sally,paper jam, tourist trap,the duchess approves,shape, scientology, meow, nacho, crypto,sevral times,easter egg, oh yes they both, daddy, mommy, burned inside, destruction is a form of creation, i see, unreality, you can't kill an idea, am i blanchin, fuck alex, fuck you alex, fuck you, shit, bye gold, nsa, globnar,disneyland,kook, kuibrick,virus,that's just a, you're insane
Next day
Found online: Dionarap, stod eht tcennoc, dispense my treat
#book of bill spoilers#thisisnotawebsitedotcomspoilers#vtuber#gravity falls#gravity falls bill#bill cipher#book of bill#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#mabel pines#gravity falls mabel#dipper pines#gravity falls dipper#dipper and mabel#gravity falls spoilers#tbob#tbob spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#soos ramirez#soos#gravity falls soos#alex hirsch#stanford pines#ford pines#billford#gravity falls fandom#book of bill website#gravity falls codes
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bpd is actually so crazy i cannot tell you how genuinely intense everything feels.
i get so, so upset during episodes over the smallest of things. it isnt just "oh im sad" either its fucking cutting myself, wanting to die, hyperventilating and begging and pleading and making a plan to kill myself because what im feeling genuinely seems like the end of the world. theres a void inside of me that can only be filled by a love so intense that it drives me to insanity. i will overeat, spend unnecessarily, hurt myself, cling and depend on people who give me the slightest bit of attention, send suggestive things of myself to others, and put myself in dangerous situations just to feel something. that void can only ever be truly filled by an fp. without one, i feel so, so empty. i truly feel like im nothing without them. their whole existence, getting to see and talk to them everyday, getting to be with them, is the whole reason that i continue to survive. the moment theyre gone, even for five minutes, its back to nothingness. i cannot feel without them, i physically cannot bring myself to. but having a fp is so, so painful. their mood determines mine. how they treat me will determine how i feel. everyone else compared to them feels miniscule and unimportant. i could be seriously harmed by another person or admired by another person and it wouldnt matter, because the only person whos opinion of me matters is my fp. i would cut off all of my friends just to be with them and them only. i would do anything to stay with them. and when they leave, you have to understand that my whole purpose has been torn away from me. my whole reason for continuing to live gets fucking ripped away from me. and when they ignore me? i put myself in dangerous situations, i hurt myself, just so theyll come and find me and save me, take care of me, feel bad for me. i try to make them feel the same pain they make me feel by ignoring them, purposely triggering them, trying to get back at them. i hate them, because what could be more important to you than me? i put you above all else, why cant you do the same? nobody else, nothing else, should be more important or as important than me, because thats how i feel about you. and fuck, it hurts so bad knowing my partners will never feel as intensely for me as i will for them, unless im their fp. it hurts knowing that theyll truly never feel the same level of obsession and want for me that i feel for them. that theyll never be able to fully return those feelings. but its so hard being mutual fps with someone. it drives you insane. it can lead to horrid situations.
bpd is so, so hard. i hate this disorder.
#bpd#actually bpd#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#bpd fp#bpd blog#bpd shit#bpd problems#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd favorite person#bpd feels#bpd meme#bpd life#bpd mood#bpd splitting#bpd stuff#bpd tag#bpd things#borderline problems#borderline culture is#borderline blog#borderline pd#borderline thoughts
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Badass!reader in the verge of crying but still pretending like she isn't? Spencer doesn't even try anything and he just lets her be until eventually she cries? Just some hurt/comfort :)
If it's a no please feel free to ignore this! Have a lovely day jade <3
tysm! hope this is okay angel ♡ fem!reader, 1k
"Irresponsible, sloppy, and pig-headed." Spencer winces. "I expected more from you. I'm extremely disappointed."
Spencer winces worse. You can take a scolding. You can take a beating. But disappointing the people you care about, and disappointing Hotch? His chest hurts for you.
He pretends to have been reading as the door to Hotch's office opens and you step out, glancing up as you take the stairs down into the bullpen. Your desk is adjacent his and Morgan's, crowded by case files you nearly send flying as you hurry into your chair.
Spencer takes his computer mouse and clicks on the work contact page. Your instant messaging is still open, the last message he sent you glaring and awkward, hey, think hotch is going to call you in for cincinnati. don't stress.
You'd opened it but not answered. He peeks around your monitors to analyse you. You're staring hard at a single spot. The longer he looks, the glassier your eyes become.
He sighs and cracks his knuckles, thinking. The last thing you want is for him to make a big deal of this, he knows that, but he needs you to know that he's here for you.
"Did you want to get dinner tonight?" he asks without raising his head.
You respond eventually, two seconds too slowly, "Where from?"
Your voice is fraught with the weight of your upset. Spencer ignores it for now. "Luh Bem?"
"If you want to."
"What I want is a cup of coffee." He stands, still without staring at you —an impressive feat of self control— and begins toward the office kitchenette. Predictably, you follow him. He's already putting a second mug beside his own when you step into his reach.
"So, did you want to go?" you ask.
Spencer nudges your hip with his gently. "Duh. What else would I wanna do on a Friday?" He makes your coffee exactly how you like it without asking and leaves it billowing steam by his own as he adds his five sugars.
Bringing his coffee to his lips and turns, he leans on the counter. You do as he does, murmuring a thank you as you pick up your mug. Spencer lets his arm rest on yours, ever so slightly taller, more as your back begins to slouch unconsciously. There's no point in asking you if you're okay, because you'll say that you are. There's no point in trying to comfort you, because, despite your affection for him, you're not someone who cries easily in front of others. It would have you pushing him away.
You're a nice girl under all your hardened exterior, and Hotch's disappointment hurts. You try very, very hard not to cry, swallowing and taking little sips of your hot coffee.
You press your coffee into his hand and turn your body toward the cabinets, away from the office. Spencer waits, and waits, his relief immeasurable as you finally hide your face in his shirt sleeve and sniffle. Even though his heart breaks for you, he's glad you're giving in. You need to let stuff out before it eats you alive.
He puts the coffees down behind him one at a time so as not to disturb you. Hands free, he lifts the hand furthest from you to your arm. If you were somewhere more private he'd hug you to him by the small of your waist. For now, he rubs a short line down to your elbow. Up, down.
"He was being harsh," Spencer says quietly.
"Sorry," you whisper.
He can't imagine how mortified you are. You won't sob or even shake, but these hot and fast tears aren't unfamiliar to him. Theyll be followed by an abundance of remorse.
"What are you sorry for?" He pulls you in closer, a squeeze of a hug. "You're okay. It's okay, he's just– he's mad about other stuff, he's upset about Beth. It's not just you."
"He's right, I messed up," you say, your breath hitching.
"You messed up," he agrees. "It was an accident. You'll be better next time."
You sniffle rough and lift your face, wiping your tears with a cruel hand. Spencer takes your wrist in his hand to stop you, turninh to cover you from any nosy eyes. His fingertips are as soft as his voice wiping the rest of your tears away as he laments, "Please don't cry, don't get upset." Your face is hot to the touch. "Don't be embarrassed."
"I'm not crying," you say, a last teardrop streaking from the corner of your eye.
He wipes it away. "Okay."
You pout at him like you want to cry more, and Spencer wouldn't mind, he'd stand here wiping your tears for hours if you needed it, but that's your worst nightmare.
"Are people looking at me?"
"Nobody's looking," he answers honestly. "You're only making a scene for me."
You laugh but quickly cough. Spencer takes his opportunity to hug you and pats your back, considers kissing the side of your head but can't make himself commit to it.
"Do you still wanna get dinner?" you ask weakly.
"Yeah, I do. I really do. I'll get you whatever you want."
If it were Morgan offering, you'd step on his foot. For Spencer, your clear and evident favourite, you nod into his chest, your hand slinking low on his back.
He hugs you so hard he feels his ribs.
"Wanna sleepover and watch Golden Girls?" he asks, prepared for rejection. You're the type to lick your wounds alone.
But maybe in the privacy of Spencer's apartment you'll let yourself be upset properly, so he can comfort you appropriately. It aches how badly he wants to rub the tight space between your shoulders, tell you it's fine, you're fine, and one mistake doesn't define you, it never could.
It's evidence of your affection for him that you agree. "Could we get the dinner to go?" you ask.
Spencer tries not to look to triumphant. He's going to coddle and comfort you half to death, and by the looks of you, you're happy to let him. "Absolutely. Whatever you want."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
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ok ok good cuz i am NOT done talking about college!artrick, it's literally my favorite version of them atm. (potential tw: dubcon and drugs 😵💫)
i need to be so fucked up/out that i'm unable to do anything, just totally limp. idgaf if it's from like overstimulation, weed, too many cocktails, or just like being fucked so good my brain turns off. completely helpless and at their mercy, y'know. need to have art and pat grab my jaw and nod my head for me, i'm too weak to do it by myself. :(((( but it's okey, they know what i want, they know what's right for me 😵💫
maybe it's them teaching me how to smoke weed and i just get waaaaaay too high. i was havign a hard time learning how to do the inhale properly, and they insist on repeating it until i get it right, and suddenly it's just too much too fast. and they just have to take care of me!!!!
and poor baby, my little pussy is so wet, she's crying for attention :((( they should help her shouldn't they, we wouldn't want her to cry? look at her so sad and lonely, bet she feels so empty doesn't she baby? she just wants some attention, huh? i'm too gone to properly give them an answer, but they know what i want, theyll nod my head for me :((((( RRRRAAAAAHHHHHH
-🐞
cw: noncon stuff, somno stuff, drug usage
college!artrick who quickly became your best friends. it was unconventional, at first. art had hit on you at the run-down bar that had since closed. and patrick, being the good samaritan and even better wing man slash best friend that he was — told you to go for it. to ditch your stupid asshole boyfriend that he mentioned hadn’t even bought you a drink. to fuck art.
“it’s truly harmless.” and your boyfriend was a douchebag. he hadn’t bought you a single drink but was nursing on his sixth beer. watching your empty hands and then turning to his equally awful friends to loudly ogle women that would never give them a second look.
art was sheepish and didn’t look at you. but obviously, patrick had gotten the idea of art wanting you from somewhere. so you squeezed in between them and nudged art’s shoulder and tried to get him to come out of his shell.
“he’s weird when he smokes weed.” patrick whispered in your ear and smoking a joint sounded way fucking better than swiveling on an unoiled barstool off campus in uncomfortable heels.
“do you have some?”
art looked high and he smiled at you for the first time since you met them. he pulled a little baggy from his jeans and nodded his head towards the door.
“can we go to your place?” patrick asked. he explained how he was visiting, how art was on the tennis team and his roommates slash teammates—one of which who was the coach’s son—were major fucking snitches. so it really had to be at your place.
you rolled your eyes and agreed that they could come over.
and they sat on the balcony all night with you. forty three missed calls from your boyfriend didn’t cajole you from the trance you were in with them. of course, they were hot. and the humidity was suffocating even past midnight. so of course, their shirts hung over the railing of your balcony as the three of you passed a joint around, leaning forward in plastic green lawn chairs, splintered and uncomfortable on your asses.
your high was heady, and patrick was feeling bold.
“if you’re not gonna make a move then i will.”
so patrick kissed you. it was a parched and awkward kiss at first; you both were dizzy from too much weed, your mouths awfully dry. but then art joined and his kisses were sloppy, his tongue prodding into the corner of your mouth until you grabbed his hair and kissed him proper. patrick sat back and reveled in his creation, swigging a beer he stole from the fridge.
and your relationship with both of them just sort of remained stagnant.
you had long since dumped your boyfriend after he told you he fucked a blond sorority girl that night you had met the boys. you just shrugged and told him it was whatever—you made out with two tennis players anyway.
and people around campus had come up with filthy rumors and lies. patrick didn’t live in town. people conjured up fantasies about patrick being a prostitute. that art was a goody two shoes and wouldn’t fuck you so he paid someone else to.
it got so tiring that art had confronted his team and coach about it, after it had gotten to them. said his relationship with you was none of their business, but slammed down an old photo of him and patrick when they were kids at the tennis academy, their cheeks plump and red from the sun, a racket in each of their grasps.
it wasn’t until one friday night that everything between the three of you changed. the ticking time bomb’s fuse had finally burnt to its end. patrick was back in town for the weekend and art was excited about it. he hadn’t been there since that fateful first weekend.
your roommates were out of town, too. so it was perfect. art picked patrick up from the airport and brought him to your place. you found it odd that the first place they would go was to your apartment. but you let them in nonetheless.
“what is your plan for the night?” you asked.
art took a shitty bong out of his backpack and a bag of weed.
“just smoking? there’s nothing else you wanna do?”
the boys shook their heads like there was some ulterior motive controlling their movements.
“okay, alright.”
so you smoked. and before you had hung out with art and patrick that one night, you really hadn’t smoked all that much before. you saw art’s bloodshot eyes as a way out of the shitty bar with your boring boyfriend and you took it. you had coughed your way through the joint last time—but the bong was intimidating.
“how do you use it?” you looked at the stem of it; it was nasty and you had already given art shit for it.
“what do you mean? i thought you were a huge stoner chick?” patrick said, between coughs.
“i never said that. i dabble but pretty infrequently.”
you were sat in between them and both their sets of eyes flickered from the expanse of your neck, to your eyes, down to your lips again. a cycle of ogling you that you dismissed. and as you grabbed the bong they shook their head.
“that’s gonna make you cough like a bitch.” art warned.
“probably enough to make you nauseous.” patrick was seemingly parroting every point art was offering in favor of not using the bong.
“then what do i do?”
they said they could help you by shotgunning it into your mouth. and you had somewhat heard of that but you said that would be okay. you watched patrick light up while art sucked the smoke into his lungs. he grabbed the back of your head to pull you in and then the smoke was in your mouth.
“inhale it.”
and you did what he said, but you felt yourself stumbling over your sandals as you mounted him, still sat in the wobbly lawn chairs that could barely support the two of you.
art grabbed your waist and pulled you in by your belt loops. he was sunken in eyes, puffy and half-shut. he was chapped lips, which you licked for him. he was shoving his tongue into your mouth and you were grabbing his jaw to maneuver him how you wanted him and patrick just watched.
“your turn.” you turned to patrick, and art reached for you to stay. but then patrick took a hit with art’s kind help. and he repeated everything art did. grabbed you and pulled you to him. pushed the dank smoke into your mouth and ordered you to breathe it in.
you were so high and dizzy. outside of your body. you kissed patrick too, clawing at his chest and grinding yourself down on his very obvious erection. you were certain people could see you if your neighbors were out on their own balconies.
so you stumbled inside and into your room. patrick slammed the door and didn’t bother locking because it didn’t matter. art was on his knees, taking your sandals off. you could barely keep your eyes open but you could feel your cunt weeping with arousal. you wanted them so bad and you mumbled that as you fell on your back onto your bed.
art looked at patrick. patrick looked at art.
“what’d you say, sweet girl?” patrick stroked your cheek and pushed his thumb into your mouth. you sucked it, hallowing your cheeks.
“i want you guys.” you mumbled it softly, but that was enough for art, still on his knees, to yank your shorts down your legs.
you flipped onto your stomach and the boys looked at how your ass moved, still in your little pink panties. art kissed your lower back, your plump ass cheek. it was patrick’s turn to undress you, so he shimmied your panties down your legs and they stared at your cunt.
glistening, warm, inviting. patrick spread your legs further and you moaned. let them.
“fucking shit.” art ran his thumb through your folds. “she’s so fucking wet.”
patrick did it himself, confirming art’s conclusion.
art petted your hair. “your little pussy’s so wet.”
“i know.” you nestled your head further into the pillow.
“i bet she wants to be filled up.” patrick offered.
you nodded. it was faint, but a nod.
patrick hurried to pull his jeans down, letting his cock spring out.
but now your body was limp as you fell asleep. drool pooled onto your pillow and patrick rocked against your cunt.
“wake up pretty girl.” art shook your shoulders and you moaned.
"hm?" you giggled and art kissed you hard.
"do you want us to fuck you? fill your little pussy? she looks like she really wants it." art cooed in your ear.
"mm. yes."
patrick pulled your hips up and pushed into your cunt, using the flesh of your ass as leverage as his thrusts got harder and deeper. your body rocked forward and soft mewls and whimpers left your mouth. but god, you were so, so sleepy. just felt heavy from the weed. from the weight of patrick on top of you as he reached around to rub your clit.
you clenched around patrick.
“that feel good?” patrick groaned against your ear and you let out a tiny, almost indiscernible whimper. patrick grabbed your jaw, nodded for you.
“fuck—baby—“ his thrusts got sloppier and art was still hard.
so he pushed his boxers down and stroked his cock. up and down. up and down. you were dozing in and out of sleep; they could tell when you came to due to your sweet, saccharine moans that were pushed out of you when patrick’s cock was in you, to the hilt.
“fuck you make me so hard.” art rubbed the head of his cock against your lips. so plush. drool running out from between them. his precum leaked on your mouth and he used it as lubricant to rub himself all over your lips, your cheeks, your face.
“artie-“ you whimpered and stuck your tongue out. you still could barely open your eyes; they felt glued shut. would be easier to keep them shut.
art held the back of your head and fucked his cock into your mouth slowly.
“good fuckin’ girl.”
you sputtered around him and your eyes watered as art jerked himself into your mouth, using you. but your sounds of contentedness fueled them. your poor, limp body so high and outside of yourself. your best friends wouldn’t want you to be so empty, so alone like this.
patrick came on your back and art on your face and then they were spent and all three of you fell asleep, after they wiped you clean.
#AHHHH#ask#🐞 anon#college!artrick#patrick zweig#art donaldson#patrick zweig x reader#art donaldson x reader#cw: noncon#cw: somno#ughhh i highkey think i didn’t do this ask justice
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Moon through the zodiac
Aries: Your blunt and it often comes across as insensitive. Yet at the same time people may think your too sensitive. Growing up your household was very busy and or very gossipy. People may question your intentions alot with this placement even if your not doing anything some may still assume your up to no good. Its almost like damn all that assuming you might as well actually do something. The way you express yourself is always being judged and people are always trying to ''correct'' it. Causing you to be anti social, very particular on who you share your personality with or a bully. The way you express yourself is very unique just like your sense of humor you be accidentally funny as hell and thats needed in this world dont give away your power to people and allow them to change you into a dolice version of yourself. Light fire under they ass the way you how to. Anyways I wouldnt be surprised if you daydream about your ideal life alot, careful not to be in your head too much and create unrealistic expectations for yourself or others to uphold. I want yall to stop being so hard on yourself. If nobody else tell yall ima tell you i love how passionately you express yourself. The purpose of your moon being here is for you to learn more about yourself and who you are and how your actions/reactions affect others. Step away from whats familiar and comfortable and dig deep. Listen to your intuition. Have some fucking fun.
Taurus: Its your way or the highway HUH? Your moon chose to be here becasue you are the defender. There will be times were you feel your back is against the wall and you face alot of scrutiny from the world. They may come down on you hard but if you can withstand the pressure you will be rewarded. Willpower and self discipline comes easier for you. You have the tendency to be arrogant, domineering and passive aggressive. A good leader keeps those emotions in check. Yall get stuck in yall ways fr i want yall to put more energy into leaving your comfort zone and taking risk. Slow down smell the roses and enjoy where you are. Dont be all work and no play.
Gemini: Yall love some drama. Somehow always ending up in the middle of some shit. Seeing others as competition even when them ppl not worried about you. You like being the center of attention and dont care if its in a postive or negative light. It works for yall though because popularity comes easy for you. This is one of the most social placements for the moon to be. Your reputation means alot to you and networking is high on your priority list. Its common for yall to feel like you always have to choose between something. It may be hard for you to balance your work life and home life. In friendships and relationships you choose to keep the blindfold on ignoring whats really in front of you, procrastinating to handle your problems just hoping theyll go away on there on. You end up in situations where people are betraying you. With the two sides to gemini its like a secret element to your life. Your no stranger to scandal. I feel for you, this isnt a easy place to have the moon be. You care so much about your relationships with people but yet often have issues with ppl. This couldve stemmed from feeling like you were a target growing up that people always chose to pick with you. Or that you were punished more extremely than others. With this placement you've probably seen or experienced things that really made you question humanity. Dont let those experiences shape the type of person you'll be. You gotta learn to let shit go and not be bitter or have a victim mentality. Be careful not to burn yourself out. Drowning yourself in work to ignore your feelings. You dont always have to do everything on your own... collaborating is just as rewarding i promise. It would be beneficial to learn how to except help, knowing when to back down and not being so critical of yourself.
Cancer: If they dont appreciate everything you do FCK EM. No but fr with moon here you may feel like people overlook the things you do for them. Cancer moons can be way to stubborn and stand in there on way because of the fear of change. Repeating the same lessons way more than they should have to. When your redirect your energy to new experiences and growth your determination and passion unmatched. This is type of person you want to have on your team they bring so much positive energy and comfort.
Leo: Main character syndrome AF lol Unnecessarily rebellious at times growing up you may have felt your parents were controlling on how you expressed your creativity or because of the way you grew up you express your creativity in a rebellious way in relation to your family. Your career could be taboo. I could see a lot of onlyfans stars having moon in leo. Success in career comes more natural for you because of your consistency and ambitious nature. Yall really find pleasure in chasing money. Dont get so carried away with fulfilling your material desires that you dont leave time for introspection and searching for who you really are away from the titles.
Virgo: How does it feel to be kids favorite? A happy home life is important for this placement. Theres an innate need to belong. You love parties, holidays and kids ofc. Hosting parties and having a full house will give you happiness. Where this placement gets stuck is not being able to let go of the past. Getting sucked into the loophole of self pity and regret. Focus your attention on what you can do and what you can change. You work better with other ppl there to bounce ideas off of. Let your gaurd down, Succuss is reached quicker for you when you collaborate. Having this placement is testing your ability to strengthen your willpower and resourcefulness. Once you can do that you'll manifest way easier. Careful not to live beyond your means. Dont let desires put you in debt. Trust your intution, take the first step and take the risk. You go be perfectly fine.
Libra: Your love language is def quality time and acts of service this is very important for this placement to feel loved. Yall thrive in group settings and really value friendships. Even if you dont talk that much it makes you feel better to be around others. If you want to get with a Libra moon the best way is to become their friend first. You may have a tendency to put yourself in drama and create chaos among your inner circle though lil messy ass. Always wanting to be right, when this placement is in its lower natures is a good example of the native american folklore of the hunter that stuck a blood coated blade in ice knowing the wolf couldnt resist. It licked the blade continuously not realizing it was slowing bleeding out. The only way for the wolf to survive is to acknowledge its self destructive behavior. Bottom line just because you can ignore something doesnt mean others are going to do the same. Just becasue it didnt effect you doesnt mean it didnt effect them. Make the effort to listen to understand not listen to respond. Your words matter use them responsibly and take breaks from people or things when you feel you need to, your mental health will thank you.
Scorpio: Transformation happens with this placement alot. Moments of feeling isolated or depressed may be brought on by extreme emotional shifts. Anxiety and fear is no stranger to the scorpio moon. It can be to the point of really debilitating you. You've experienced things you've kept to yourself or have repressed but the issue continues to reappear time after time like a broken record. If it hasnt been dealt with it way on you really heavy and appear in your dreams often. You've felt shame, not understanding how you couldve allowed yourself to be in that predicament in the first place but seriously bro shit happens. It can be hard to maintain emotional balance with moon in scorpio, so its essential to have methods to release your emotions in healthy ways. Careful not to become bitter or victimizing with things dont go the way your controlling ass intends. Vengeance doesnt work well for you it often backfires, you'll try to set somebody house on fire and you burn yourself in the process. You may feel that people often oppose for no reason that you have to go through power struggles to be heard or to get the things you want. You may second guess opening up and are critical of yourself and others but opening yourself up to the world will be one of the best things you can do for your relationships and career. Your maturity and originality is threatening. Express yourself in your full nature and make people adapt to you not the other way around. You have authoritarian energy and if your putting yourself out there which ik you are, yr often mistaken for the boss. That is if your not already the boss. Im sure your that your the boss. Mwahahaha. Your demeanor comes across as serious and strict. Ppl naturally think let me not play with them. Your standards are high for yourself and your partner. You wouldnt be with somebody who doesnt match up to your standard. You need to feel like the person you’re with is equally as respected as you in any room you walk in.
Sagittarius: Im sure you believe you were meant to be famous. Sagittarius moons are very charismatic and great negotiators with a very convincing personality they are great at creating solutions quickly. So ofc that makes its very easy for them to make friends. In relationships they attract and are attracted to more dominate personalities. Loving the idea of love but really being in denial about that. Def gives player vibes they have flirtatious ass whore ways lmao. If you cheating ik you not even finna try hard to hide it. Easily bored they will chase thrills lowkey in a running from your problems type of way. Where sag moons can grow is appreciating the value they bring and not feeling the need to always compare themselves to others. Don't attach your self worth to financial security. Be more secure in what you believe and don't back down so easily when others challenge your ideas.
Capricorn: The moon doesn't like being here. Its emotionally depressing actually lol. I'm sure you've already read enough depressing interpretations on cap moons tho so this one is not going to be that. This one is meant to empower you. Youve experienced alot of chaos anger and pain. You've experienced very intense situations that have completely emotional up rooted you. But the smoke always clears and its important for to spend time away from the people and places that have caused this. Take the steps needed to regroup to be by yourself to develop better understanding of your emotions and learn what it is that truly want from your life. If you are not following your intuition it is easy for you to end up in friendships and relationships that do not mean you well. Your not the type of person who can just hang with anyone you need to very intentional about who you allow into your life. Communicate your feelings stop keeping everything bottled in. That shit will drive yo ass crazy. You dont have to be the strong friend all the time your emotions are valid, open up to ppl and share that shit because you dont share often you open up and talk people listen. Use that power to help others that have been through similar experiences to you. When you succeed in whatever obstacles you overcome ppl cant do anything but respect it bc your road was slow and steady but you stayed with it. When it comes to relationships you are very black and white you'll commit yourself fast but if you feel you cant trust the person you may still deal with them but emotional you shut them out. You like being partnered up rather its a relationship or situtationship you deal with the person for a long time.
Aquarius: I want to give you a hug, you are too analytical for your own good. Baby you need to stop thinking so much and you need to feel, you need to experience, act on impulse, dont give yourself time to think about everything that could go wrong. You sabotage so much of your own happiness that way. But i understand people have disappointed you so many times you feel you must do everything on your own. Its like nobody understands you or that people are committed to misunderstanding you. But news flash your not that expressive with your feelings how is anybody going to know if you dont tell them. Yall are cute though with yall dry ass humor. Listen stop being such a fly on the wall you hold as much value as anyone else stop acting like your presence is a fuckn burden. You dont have be agreeable all the the time they will be O FUCKN K. You are very intelligent and more people need to know that. Believing in yourself and communicating is your lesson. Shine your light and stop playing like fr...
Pisces: Ok we’re gonna get the sad shit out the way first. Just how yall like. I really feel like yr parents just let yall cry it out as a baby and you took that personal lmao. No but fr i feel like you always came across like you can handle things so you weren’t really checked on everyone just assumes you'll be ok. You come across as very strong and resilient which is beautiful but everybody needs a shoulder to lean on. Okay now remember how i said yall took that personally ummhm you can be very vengeful never forgetting he littlest slight somebody done towards you. Yall resort to committing crimes rather easily if you need some money lmao im not mad at it though. Literally rationalizing damn near anything if that means youll get what you want. And another thing yall be lying fr. lol sometimes it really do be on accident though you just forgot what really happened and your imagination is very vivid you thought that was the truth. You can be too hard on yourself sometimes you see very clearly the person you want to be so you put so many time limits and expectations on yourself. Chill out enjoy the journey and flow through life the way you know how to. You have very high standards so anything you invest your energy too is executed properly. I honestly cant even imagine a Pisces moon not running their own business. Im sure you cant either. You naturally have very authoritarian energy. Theres not much push and pull when it comes to you getting your way people go with your flow pretty easily. Naturally you wouldnt assume a pisces to be practical but they actually are. Sure they dream big but if they didnt know how to practically implement that into this realm that would just be depressing as hell. When yall find something that works for you, you are very disciplined at seeing it through. Very protective over those you love yall def give stand up when i walk in the room vibes lol
#astrology#12th house#astrology101#astrologyfacts#8th house#astro notes#pluto aspects#astrologychart#astrologyobservations#astrologyzone#moon astrology#moon placements#scorpio moon#sag moon#libra moon#pisces moon
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nikolai and/or Astarion…period feeding…both of you being constantly satisfied, you from the orgasms and him from the feeling of being full…
im going to literally faint.
this goes for both of them, but theyll totally be down for this, it’s one of their favorite things
nikolai just loves pampering you, loves to take care of you. so when you aren’t feeling well, he despises it. any sign of an ache or pain and he’s got this instinctual need to protect and soothe that makes him almost physically hurt if he can’t help. so ur poor cramps, ur back aching, ur muscles weak and sore, it all makes him pout a bit, makes him coo and pet over u and shush u as he makes u lay down.
he’d probably have a bunch of nice soft blankets down, muttering about not worrying about a mess, just relax. he’s got a little nest made up, and it absolutely reeks of u in the best way. (oh yeah, he loves tht ur scent is stronger on ur period btw) will make sure ur comfy as can be, maybe even has a heating pad/hot water bottle on ur front, behind ur back. keeps ur legs over his shoulders so ur not laying flat, easing ur back pain some. and ughhgf he just goes to town. he’s very gentle though, obviously ur sore and achey and it actually took quite a bit to even get u horny in the first place. his hands stay on ur hips and thighs, rubbing and kneading the soft flesh whilst he peppers little kissies all over. tries to build it up in a more romantic, intimate way but the smell of u is making his dick so hard it hurts, leaking, and his eyes are going out of focus here and there. so eventually he dives in. goes slow, moans like a pornstar against ur clit because good god is this the best thing he’s ever experienced, or what? it’s like his tongue has gained the sentience of his hands and is massaging you in ways u didnt know cld feel good. all the while he’s getting that delicious slick snd cum mixed with your blood. he gets greedier as time goes on, eating u out more fervently. he can feel his mood lightening, his body becoming satisfied not only with making u feel good but the feeding itself. makes him feel strong, fast. gets more growly and huffy against ur cunt too, drooling a bit but making sure to get every last drop on his tongue.
likes to flatten his tongue over ur hole and feel u physically leak onto him, makes him moan lewdly whilst his eyes roll from the taste and the rush he gets from it before moving back up to suckle at ur clit so u can cum again. will not be shy about parting ur thighs more and using his thumbs to spread ur cunt open, holding ur aching lips apart so he can get every last drop.
astarion my beloved boy. he’s also one who just gets so mad when u don’t feel good. like, he wants to make it better instantly, hates to see u suffer like that even if it’s a minor thing. if ur still traveling with the others, he takes over ur duties and stuff so u can just rest under a tree in the shade, curled up with scratch taking a nap. kinda the same if u’ve both settled down in a home too, does the chores u normally do, insists that u rest and stay where u are, keep reading ur book i’ve got dinner under control. very fussy this man is. again, probably enjoys a good nest. wants u to be comfortable so he finds what position u feel best in. i think he’d be the same in like .. going slow at first, more gentle and romantic turning more passionate and needy eating u out.
sharp fangs graze ur skin on either side of ur clit, his tongue peaking out to lap up a bit of slick. gets a taste of u and has to physically hold back whimpering between ur thighs. soooo many compliments too, cooing and soothing u sweetly between sucks, licks, laps. ranging from how good u taste, how sweet u smell to him, to how amazing and strong u make him feel from feeding. it boosts his ego to have u whining and crying, grabbing his hair and feeling unbelievably pleasured. he feels happier, stronger just as nikolai does when feeding. practically makes out w ur pussy, and unlike nikolai, astarion is a bit of a messy eater. he nvr used to be until u came along.. has blood and slick and cum smeared on his chin, coating his fingers because he can’t resist stretching u out some, suckling the mess off his digits with a huffed noise.
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tbh one thing i liked about the instas that i dont think the series will bring back is him wearing casual clothes outside of work. the concept of a gay male sinner from the 1940s embracing modern day fashion from the current era because of how cute it is without anyone caring because its hell, (with the implication he mightve been doing this for decades beforehand before he came to the hotel,) is just really cool concept to me :3 it gave him a fashion identity outside of his sex work (something the show really doesnt do at all,) and it let him explore a more cutesty side to his character, but in a really natural way! i also just liked it because most of the sinners we saw tended to stick to dressing from their era, which made angel stand out more.
but this isnt present at all in the series, and even weirder, the one time he has a chance to put on pajamas in episode 2 like the girls have, where hes alone in his room with fat nuggets, he doesnt. maybe we wouldve had time for that if there wasn't a joke dedicated to showing how tone deaf and christian charlies morals are for the bisexual daughter of lucifer morningstar.
all the clothes he wears, there's more of a focus of his outfits from posion rather then anywhere else. i hardly see as much fanart of that stupid ugly ripped finale suit, as much as i see fanart of the latex suit angel wears while singing about being unable to help swallowing poison. either that, or the outfit he wears while dancing with val. love the fluffy spider butt, but cmon. we can get an angel dust design thats more spider in a natural way, but we can't see him wear casual clothes when he isnt working? or even see him in a full suit? (i really miss the purple suit from the instas, no stupid pink stripes, full suit for both arms, and his boobs were out w his tie instead of being hidden away like they are in the finale, which was perfect for his character </3)
him wearing clothes separate to his identity as a pornstar also helped him reclaim some of his freedom under his contract, obviously being unable to choose what val makes him wear on set. that's what angel dusts actions reflected in the instas and the comics too. (the "work shit" box comes to mind, i hate that borderline on screen rape is fine for an amazon funded show, but a box of dildos is too much,) even the addict mv shows this, with angel wearing just a pink sweater and some purple shorts when laying with cherri. or even just the casual, but cute outfit he wears when he blows up that club with her.
its just one of the few things that made him feel human, especially when fashion is bound to change in so many ways when youve been in hell for 77 years like he has. this part of his character being missing (along with the implication he even has a life outside of his work in the series; pilot ad was coping with work with hard drugs, being an teasing asshole as a defensive mechanism, getting into turf wars and murdering mafia goons. but still dresses cute and gets to be cute w his friends in his own time! series ad is coping by self destructing and letting people drug and fuck him so he'll be "broken" but then gets better by going out once after being waterboarded at work, only to not relax and be a mom to a joke character at a club called fucking consent,) is one of the reasons im still bitter about the instas being nuked. but not the only reason.
viv will always takes the credit for them anyway, no matter if she feels they do or not, because her fanbase isn't smart enough to realize someone else wrote these stories they still love. even if theyll be the first one to remind you they arent canon, because the creator said they arent. but my honest to god confession is that sometimes the instagrams feel more like the canon hazbin hotel to me, even months after s1 dropped, simply due to the nuance and detail it has compared to the actual series. it wasnt perfect, but you could tell there was passion there- passion that now, only the leads are allowed to put in hazbin so their favorite character can get more screentime and attention.
Thank you, Anon, for this absolutely beautiful writeup. It was true, seeing the difference between the outfits Val forced him into versus the outfits he chose to wear on his own time was one of the most interesting aspects of Instagram Angel Dust. It was a more safe-for-work extension of the "work shit" dildoes that didn't make it to Amazon Prime (while his graphic on-screen gang rape did) and it was powerful.
Of course, there are practical logistical reasons why cartoon characters wear the same outfit, but if only one character in HH was going to have a big wardrobe, it absolutely should have been Angel. But of course it wasn't, because as far as Viv and Raph were concerned, the only Angel outfits that mattered were the ones that fed into their shared fetish.
#Anonymous#vivziepop critical#image reply#hazbin hotel critical#angel dust#actual blog post#viv stuff
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dylric angst fanfic
includes angst, past/repressed sexual trauma, eric being sweet, and last night on earth.
note: little bit of a projection, but im posting anyway.
no lyrics, sorry:o(
the basement was quiet. the whole house was. it was late at night - around one am.
they had been passing back and forth a bottle of vodka, but it was now discarded.
one last night. they shouldve been asleep.
dylan couldnt sleep, so he called eric.
eric couldnt either, so he invited him over.
they werent ready. theyve planned for months, did drills, had everything set to go, but they werent ready.
“im not ready,” dylan verbalizes the thought, voice soft “im not ready, eric.” he repeated.
the brunette turned his head, looking to his friend.
“we have to do it,” he answered with “we have to do it, dylan.” he repeated as well.
they were in tune with each other. everything they said was on the same wavelength.
the blonde shakes his head, looking over at him.
“i cant.”
“we have to.”
they both stare at each other, communicating something that they could never verbalize.
theyd been through so much and they never got the chance to unpack any of it. this was their way of unpacking - kill everyone and then themselves.
dylan though had gone through something that eric hadnt been through. they were used to the bullying, having been through just about everything you could imagine, but dylan had been given the worse hand.
he cant remember it - doesnt *want* to remember it, but he can remember the way the hands felt - the names he was called and the empty feeling afterwards. he forgot everything else.
he was never able to figure out his emotions or how to deal with the trauma he was given, and now he never would.
eric knew though - he had told him. it was one of the many reasons they would be committing their final act together in less then a couple hours.
he didnt know everything though. even he couldnt know the extent of it.
“itll work out,” eric spoke again “everythings ready to go, vee.” he wasnt feeling good about this either, but he didnt want to show his weakness.
the blonde shakes his head again “im - im ready, but…”he struggled to find the words, staring at his friend and hoping he would get it.
eric does get it. he wasnt good with comfort or anything similar, but this was his best friend.
he gave a small, barely noticeable nod of his head.
before dylan realized, tears had already started to build up and streak down his face.
he sniffled, shuffling closer and putting his head on his shoulder.
eric lifted his arm and put it over him - the weight of it felt good.
neither know what to say or what to do. at the end of it all they were still two clueless, dumb teenage boys who didnt know how to comfort or handle emotional baggage, but when have they ever known how to deal with anything? their overall solution for life was death.
the brunettes hand rubbed over the others arm soothingly “its gonna be alright,” he makes his voice as soft and gentle as he can “itll - itll be over soon, vee.”
dylan can only sniffle and cry, putting all his weight onto the other and leaning on him for support.
the hands that would soon be used to carry out mass destruction and murder were so gentle and careful over his arm.
it was a wonderful feeling to be cared for - to have someone understand.
this was so out of character. this wasnt a persona or personality they put on like in front of their friends, their family, and the camera. this was just them.
the room is quiet except for the crying and soft hum of the air conditioner kicking on. it was peaceful - the last moments of peace theyd ever know.
“we’ll take care of them,” erics voice cuts through the silence, swallowing hard “*ill* take care of them.” he didnt want to sound gay when he said it, which was funny, but it was the least he could do.
dylan was his best friend. he would hunt down those fuckers if it was the last thing he did - which, it would be.
“theyll be gone. you wont have to deal with it anymore,” he wouldnt have to deal with it either way - they would be dead too, but he didnt want to say that “itll be over.”
dylan has no idea how to respond - he just keeps crying, soon turning into choked sobs. he didnt want it to be this way.
his friend is quick to hush him, moving his hand and running it through his hair now. he placed a kiss to the top of his head.
“itll be alright.” he restates from earlier, saying it quieter this time - just above a whisper.
he knew he had to accept it, but he just couldnt. it would never be alright.
he shook his head, but the other just keeps reassuring him.
“yeah, it will. we’re gonna take care of all those fuckers,” normally hed be saying that with such hate and anger, but his voice doesnt change “they wont know whats coming. theyll pay for all the crap they did,” he tucked his silky blonde hair behind his ear “we’ll take ‘em all down with us. we’ll make our point and no one can stop us,” he placed another kiss to his head “we’ll be a force grater then nature.”
to anyone else that would be disturbing - make them feel sick and want nothing to do with this anymore, but it made dylan feel better.
as long as he was with his best friend while getting rid of all their problems, he would be happy.
“you promise, reb?” he asked abruptly, his own voice small.
“yeah, i promise, vee.” he answered back without hesitation.
it was the last promise hed ever make. he had to make it count.
#tcc fandom#tcc tumblr#tccblr#tcctwt#tccblur#tee cee cee#teeceecee#dylan columbine#eric columbine#dylan and eric#eric and dylan#dylric#columbine tcc#tcc columbine#columbine 1999#anoufrievboy fanfics
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ok wait yeah i need to talk about the short. let me compile all my thoughts and theories hold on
-the candy club is absolutely a lure for kids. cult needs kids, kids like candy. theres a few things in the town that lure kids in. vans and stores that give out candy, clowns, etc. based on the fact that the candy dealer is associated with the cartel (who trade actual sugar i guess) kevin was probably just hired to be an easy pawn and a scapegoat. thats what pelo meant when he drew kevin being puppeteered by cd (gonna ignore the fact that cd has a poster that says his candy is better than the candy clubs. thats for later) but i dont think hed hire just Anyone since cd also works for the cult, and this leads to my next observation
-kevins mom is seen with a diamond on her shirt, and her hair sticking out to the sides in points just like skiddads hairstyle. kevin clearly doesnt know about any cult, at least not yet. do his parents know? are they forced into it? do they understand who theyre associated with? plus we all know a photo with a heart drawn under it is a bad sign for the fates of the people in the pic. coughs Hope and her mother coughs
-roy is doomed. he is dooooomed he is so fucking doomed. it hurts to say it but his friends have a right to give up on him and leave him. roy has been nonstop bullying and teasing skid and pump because of his own insecurities and theres been no change from him whatsoever. i sympathize with him, i know what its like to be too stubborn to change because its such a vulnerable, powerless feeling, but if my prediction is right, roys just gonna drive them away and become vulnerable to the tree entity instead. theyll all be. if hes lucky, he and his friends will live to meet again so he can make it up to them and skid & pump after a lot of self reflection and a good amount of humbling from the adults around him. or trees around him
-lila is So broken and i feel so bad for her. no nice clothes, unbrushed hair, worlds most miserable expression. you just know skid had to force her out of bed to make breakfast for them. i have a lot of thoughts about lilas grief, its really telling that years later shes struggling so hard to raise skid, whos Exactly like his father. skid himself probably struggled to cope, i think hes the one who scribbled out skiddads face in the photos. lila trims skids hair a lot, he knows she doesnt like any reminders of him but he believes the mask is enough and doesnt think of any reason why she trims it other than she just says its getting too long for the mask. also jaune is doing kind of a shit job caring for lila? dont take her out to drink wtf. i swear shes part of the cult
-skid and pumps hair is revealed which means i get to post this observation i made. notice how susie not only has the pointed sides, but her widows peak resembles the lower half of a diamond
-skiddad is back ugh. also that last image with kevin is horrifying. it reminds me of this. i still wonder what the dots mean. maybe theyre locations? or people? theres 22 dots if that helps
-what does this mean. why is it right above pump. why does the skull have a diamond on it. whos that other guy
-only a bad bitch like carmen is able to make rick That visibly mad. making him carrying that heavy bag to the car. deserved
-his stupid ass
-here he is again actually paralleling gregor
speaking of gregor, the cult member that stabs kevin Has to be him. its gotta be. also if ignacio wasnt in one of the robes i will give this short a 0/10 <- lying
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The DoL server was talking about how Kylar will comment on the PCs dick size in class when it was mentioned that theyll do it even if they havent seen it before so can I request a a scenario/drabble with a F!Crossdresser!PC and a M!Kylar breaking into the orphanage at night to check "your size" only to find out your a girl and omg they can breed you and― oh fu k you just woke up―
Warnings: AMAB Kylar (he/him); AFAB Reader (you/your); noncon; pregnancy talk
Words: 641
It's for art. That's what repeats inside Kylar's head over and over as he hovers over your sleeping form. He wouldn't do this if it weren't for art.
He'd…he'd respect your privacy. Wait for you to decide when to share your body with him on your own terms. But…This is for art! He can't go around reciting lies about you, can he? So….he has to know. He has to know now how big your penis is. If you're a shower or a grower, cut or uncut, thickness and length and the color of your head.
The taste he'd keep to himself. And how precum leaked from your tip, the thickness and smell. And, and how it felt. Yeah, he’d keep that to himself, how you felt inside him.
Not that it would get that far! Not tonight! No! He’d just, peel back your blankets and take a peek. He could control himself, he could.
Except, he can’t, not when he actually does it. Not as more and more of your skin comes into view, his own cock starting to harden. But then he’s face to face with your crotch and…you don’t have a dick.
Kylar had spent days coming to terms with it, not being able to fulfill his biggest fantasy of breeding his darling thoroughly, getting you pregnant. But it was you, you. He’d give up anything for you.
But that pretty pussy staring back at him? Just begging for his cock to fill it up. Why hide it, though? Why make him think you were- oh! You must be keeping it a secret! A surprise, just for him! That was the only explanation, really. Otherwise, you would have told him, right?
Drool pools on his tongue, cock now painfully pressed against his trousers. He has to fuck you. He has to. He’d dreamed of having his first time with you, and it wasn’t anything like this, but he has to.
“Huh?” Kylar jumps at the sound of your voice. How hadn’t he noticed you stirring awake? “Kylar? Wha-”
He doesn’t think, climbing on top of you and quickly shimmying out of his pants.
“Ky-Kylar don’t-” You try to push him off, but you can’t, limbs still sleep weak.
“It’s o-okay, love,” Kylar coos. “I w-won’t tell. Our s-secret.”
“W-wait, I don’t-”
Kylar presses his mouth to yours, cutting you off. Small, cold fingers stroke over your pussy, finding your clit and rubbing clumsy circles around it.
He should…do more. Finger you, maybe? Get you more prepared, make sure you’re wet enough for him that it doesn’t hurt you when he sinks into that warm, heavenly heat between your legs. But, the thought is a dim one, barely flickering to life in the back of his mind. It’s hard for him to think of anything but getting inside you. Especially when you’re gasping under him, the head of his cock pressing against your cunt.
You go still under him as he pushes forward, tucking his face into your neck and whining into the skin as you take him in. Good. You feel so, so good. Better than he’d ever imagined. Of course, back then he’d fantasized about sliding into your ass, fisting your prick. If he’d known you had a pussy-
“Stop,” you wheeze, “p-please. Stop.”
Kylar stills, gears turning sluggishly in his head. Stop? Why would he ever stop? Was he hurting you? But, it felt good. He’d make sure it felt good for you, too. “D-don’t worry love,” Kylar says, bottoming out. “I’ll t-take, ah, care of y-you.”
He starts up a frantic pace, fingers finding their way back to your clit. He thinks it works, your whimpers quieting, pussy hungrily sucking in his cock. If there are tears on your face, it must be from pleasure. Why would you be crying at a time like this?
His hot tongue traces the salty streaks up your cheeks, voice hauntingly soft as he speaks. “I-I’ll take care of y-you. G-get you pregnant and, ah, you’ll n-never ha-have to leave the h-house. Just us. To-together. Forever.”
You cry harder, sobbing as Kylar spends himself inside you. Tears of joy, he knows. Because you love him. You love him and want to be with him and carry his child. It's the only reason he can think of why you’d react like this, so it must be right.
“L-love you,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
And your silence means you love him back.
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hellooo can i request headcanon on chuuya, dazai, ranpo, atsushi and kunikida about if theyll let f reader paint their nails ??
Nail art session
Chuuya, Dazai, Ranpo, Atsushi, Kunikida x F!Reader / Fluff / Headcanons
a/n : Thank you so much for your request ! I'll have so much fun writing this so I hope you like it ! <3
Chuuya :
-"My love ?" You say, slowly approaching your husband. You finally have a day off and you were planning to take advantage of it. -"Yes ?" Chuuya said, lying quietly in your bed, a book in hand. -"Can I take care of your nails?" And Chuuya bugged.
I honestly think he'll only let you do this if you make them dark red or black, without too much extravagance. Even if he wears gloves, he may have to take them off in public and doesn't want to be embarrassed by candy pink nail art, for example.
But if you really insist on making little patterns for him, he will give in and let you do it. Expect to receive little comments like “Are you finished?” or even “Don’t get on the cuticles”. That he knows this word surprises you and when you ask him WHERE he learned this word, he simply answers that he likes to look at you when you take care of your nails and actually listens when you talk about it.
What a cutie.
Dazai :
This man would say yes to anything you could ask him. “You want to take care of my nails?” He said looking at his hands. "Yes why not !"
You can DO EVERYTHING, from yellow to black to azure blue, he'll definitely like it. So HAVE A FUN. The only thing that will be difficult to deal with is Dazai himself. He will remove his hands from yours regularly to observe your work. Even if you've only just done a nail, he wants to look.
You're going to take breaks every 30 seconds because he doesn't know how to sit still for more than 5 minutes when he's with you. Yes, it will take hours to finally finish your work but it will be perfect.
-"Honey, it's so beautiful! You're so talented!" He will show his nails to the whole agency, specifying each time that it was you who did them so well.
Ranpo :
-"Absolutely not !" Ranpo shouted, as you practically begged him to let you do his nails. -"But why? -It smells bad. "You're a child, darling." You said, sitting down next to him.
Yes, it will be hard to convince him but through persuasion, he agrees to let you do it but he will only keep your art for a day, to please you.
It goes without saying that you jump at the chance, you give him some sweets to keep him going. When you finish the first hand, he complains that he can't touch anything, he complains that it's taking too long, that it smells bad, that his arm is cramping. It's a one-hour fight but you can be proud of yourself, your work is magnificent.
-"FINALLY I'M FREE!" Ranpo shouted, jumping off the couch, you laughed at his childishness.
Atsushi :
He would be delighted if you wanted to take care of him, even if it's "just" nails. The poor guy has never taken the time to take care of his manicure and he doesn't know much about it so he'll let you do it, the only thing he doesn't want is too flashy colors.
While you have his right hand in yours, he will ask you how you learned to do nails, he will even be impressed by your dexterity.
-"You are beautiful when you concentrate." Said Atsushi. You laugh slightly, softened. -"Thank you angel, I want it to be perfect." After a good hour more, you are finally satisfied with your work.
Atsushi looks at his fingers in admiration. Not once did he complain about how long it lasted. He's just happy to have shared this moment with you.
Kunikida :
He will be VERY reluctant at first. It's not that he doesn't trust you with your talent but he doesn't want to have something too complicated, he will only end up accepting if you do a simple sober color.
He has a schedule calibrated to perfection so he will dedicate 2 hours to you so that you can take care of him. Surprisingly, he will ask a lot of questions about what you are currently doing, what tool is used for what, he is curious about this universe that he knows little about.
-"This is to remove cuticles that are too long." You say, pointing at the object. -"You'll do my nails more often, that's interesting." He said while adjusting his glasses.
Yes, you just converted him to the world of nail art and with any luck, you can one day give him hot pink nails.
If you're lucky.
Hey I hope you liked it? I had a lot of fun writing these headcanons so thank you very much for your request!
See you <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#fanfiction#fanfic#request#bsd kunikida#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x reader#bungo stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#bsd atsushi#atsushi x reader#chuuya#atsushi nakajima#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bsd ranpo#ranpo edogawa#ranpo x reader#bungou stray dogs ranpo
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