#they’re just good at mind games
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I’m wondering something though -
When Xie Lian and the others learned of He Xuan’s background, it was made clear He Xuan had extremely bad luck.
“Although this scholar He’s family was very, very poor, he was a talented man. Since his youth, he was frighteningly intelligent and picked things up quickly and expertly. He was also widely known as a good son; there was really nothing bad to say about the guy in any respect. Unfortunately for him, he was also very unlucky. For him, nothing good ever lasted.”
Volume 4, Chapter 53 page 28
———
If the Reverend of Empty words can only shout misfortune upon its victims (and their loved ones) causing them to despair so much they commit suicide, does this mean He Xuan had bad luck all on his own even without the fate switching? 🤔
Or does the Reverend actually draw bad luck to his victims? This would actually make a lot sense but from how Xie lian explains things , this isn’t how a usual venerable works and explanations about the Reverend do not explicitly state this. 🤔🤔🤔
He Xuan couldn’t have had bad luck all on his own without the fate-switching, because his fate was to ascend. However, I think a full answer to this question would need to be a meta, cause I think that a core point of tgcf is that fates are not set-in-stone from birth, that fortune is what you make of it rather than what makes you, and that we shouldn’t fall into traps of letting superstition rule our lives, thoughts, and morality. The Reverend of Empty Words specifically chose prey amongst those with great fates, and most of those people had terrible ends. The Reverend was only able to speak on Shi Qingxuan—who had a fate of wealth—once before his family masked his presence, and yet the family still went into decline and lost their fortune. Were all of those fates fake? Was Guoshi not as good a fortune-teller as he so claimed? Or is all of this more changeable than people want to believe?
#tgcf asks#silver-cyn#good job at finding the ‘a whole other topic’#that i was tryna avoid getting into on that other post lmao#anyways it’s easier to blame some outside source for your misfortunes#than to look into yourself and wonder if something you did might have caused it#or find that *nothing* you could have done would have stopped it#and you would have experienced that misfortune regardless of ‘fate’ or ‘action’#but i think finding an outside scapegoat also allows people to#absolve themselves of creating solutions#‘if i have a bad fate why should i try to live better?’ type logic#anyways i maintain that neither reverend nor venerables can create curses#they’re just good at mind games#and if that’s all it takes to reverse someone’s fortune… 😬
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On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing
I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.
Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”
and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.
Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.
Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.
When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.
Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.
#mouthwashing#not sure I worded this as well as I would’ve liked to because I just woke up#but I’m standing by it for now#I think people don’t think enough about what swansea represents in the story and thus water him down#but with such a small cast we have to realize that everyone is deliberately written with meaning#maybe I’ll delete this later if I feel it was misarticulated#again I like swansea this isn’t meant to start some swansea hate train#I’m just glad that ppl are understanding Curly’s role as an enabler and I want that critical thinking to extend#even to characters we are inclined to like on their face because they’re also mean to Jimmy#.txt 🌊#mouthwashing game#swansea mouthwashing#this post is dedicated to my good friend al who is the resident swansea guy in my mind and talked thru this w me#ily my goat
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Thinking very hard about nine sols. I have like. 2 other AUs also on the mind as well
But for now it really fascinated me how both yi and ji have immortality but are at different stages in their life and handle it differently, so I played around with what would happen if their ages were swapped such that Yi lived through history and became the Kunlun Immortal, and Ji joined the Council as a young Sol.
Yi / Ji Ageswap/Roleswap AU
Though they’ve swapped positions in time, I wanted to keep their powers and personalities mostly the same. Yi’s aged up design is based on his statue outside of the Four Seasons Pavilion. I’m still thinking through whether or not Yi would still propose the Eternal Cauldron Project with the experience of having lived through history, and I think so. I think living even longer and having to watch more people he loves die before him would make him even more strongly attached to the idea of immortality and longevity, and ensuring the survival of as many solarians as possible so that he doesn’t end up alone on Penglai in the end. I don’t think Ji would be able to kill him because it seems like Ji and Yi’s immortalities differ— Yi can always regenerate as long as the Fusang is healthy, while Ji, as shown in the game, can die if he takes too much damage.
I have a lot more thoughts in this au so I might do a few more doodles at some point but just this for now!
#nine sols#九日#nine sols yi#nine sols ji#ageswap au#roleswap au#the designs and story of this game really makes the mind go brrrrrr#I really want to see more people talk about the story and the themes of this game they’re so good#every review I see keeps just talking about the gameplay
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How does Masa feel about Alastor and Vox's obsession with him? Or is it different in this au?
It’s prime entertainment!
(Voxs taste in men is hilarious to Masa. Smiley cannibal assholes, Valentino, seemingly harmless sweethearts— vox never disappoints!
Alastor is fun too. He’s hilariously wary of masa and yet continues to poke him.
#masa doesn’t need to be the most important person to his Important Person#there’s a weird selfless to masa’s love because he’s happy if they’re just existing being fun#like if vox divorced him in favor of alastor masa wouldn’t mind#so long as he got a front row seat to the drama lol#you've got questions we've got answers#black hole au#I think alastor has very good instincts#or perhaps he and masa had a run in before vox?#all I know is that alastor won a game and kept his life on a technicality
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chat. chat i have a question. i know ive always had guilt when it comes to getting things for myself, but like. would it be stupid to drop like $116 on the special editions of two games ive been wanting for a while (now because one of which is on sale)? i mean, ive been saving my money literally all summer to use for myself like i haven’t bought anything i didn’t need and i KNOW im not gonna blow through all of it in school because i don’t go anywhere & dont do shit and i know it’s my money and i can do what i want with it but. idk. it feels stupid. is it stupid or is my brain stupid??
(extra context in tags ig idk)
#i mean i got paid like $700 last week and i get paid one more time next week before i’m off for school but still :/#like. like is thinking it’s stupid reasonable or should i. ahem. ‘treat myself.’#the two games in mind have a TON of content so i know they’re gonna keep me busy for a LONG time so that’s kinda why i wanna get them;m#so i can have long grundy games to keep me occupied and not really want to get anything else for a long time you get me?#i know $116 won’t be a lot from my $3000 account but like. still. idk. :/#ofc i have to jump through the many hoops of setting up a paypal to use in the nintendo eshop#or i could just. ask my sister to help me unlink & relink her card so it doesn’t charge hers instead (because her card’s linked for NSO)#but aside from that i could have that shit like. tonight.#not like i play games a lot on the days i have work because i get home so late but still y’know?#i think it would be a nice ‘good luck back at school’ gift for myself#because i love skyrim & pokemon i really do but that’s literally all ive been playing for like over a year now i need to spice it up :/#anyway chat should i or should i not?#grace being stupid#text post#personal
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Just the two of us~
#TMNT#tmnt 2003#Casey jones 2003#raphael splinterson#just really wanted to draw raph and Casey from 2003#also Casey’s designers are all good in this show but it was always a special treat when he wore the denim jacket#loved him taking all the turtles to a Hockey game#but Leo wasn’t too impressed and mikey only cared about the food and Donnie straight up was reading a book#so I think in the future Ralh only really goes#he genuinely seemed to love it#also Raph knitted those matching scarfs the brothers had idk why Leo had the red gloves though#idk what else to put here they’re just doodle and warm ups I did#but humans are still oh so very hard for me cause sorry Casey#raph and Casey live in my head rent free it’s so loud in here (my mind)#crave people talking about these guys
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*draws something for the first time in a while. “Man I suck at drawing! Maybe go back to being good at it if I draw more!”
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
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*doesn’t draw
“Oh I got a neat idea for a drawing! Surely I have gotten better by now!” Loop post
#this revelation brought to you by the one and only#midnight brainrot#probably could not of put these things together without the malaise of a mind awake at 3 am again despite saying that they’re ”trying to fix#their sleep schedule ~”#bah. I say things yet never do them. my brain always blocks any sort of progress with ”just one more video”#even fun and enjoyment bends the knee to this declaration#even other YouTube videos!#when I do break it I end up back where I was because like asking for literally anything my brain does so much pushback that it feels#inherently wrong on a fundamental level#I don’t think I’m depressed I like life too much and enjoy existence#is this my brain punishing me for not dying before reaching adulthood like I always thought I would? or is it punishment for not constantly#going from the end of high school to another school like I planned because my purpose in life was to learn and go to school until I die#now I am left without purpose. literally wandering my house like a ghost when no one’s home#I say the two same things to my brother when he gets home so much that he once made a joke about me being an npc#and the worse part is. it wasn’t about that dumb TikTok brainrot meme thing. no it was because I say the exact same things the exact same wa#y every time he gets home. worse more is I can think of several other ways that that statement could be more accurate that he doesn’t know a#bout#I wish to game but never do#I want to make art and such but I never do#I went to an art class for years when I was a kid for Pete’s sake!#my parents complain about my hair being too long and I agree but I still want it long I just always kept it short because of simple ma#maintenance. the only reason I ever grew it out was to keep warm I. the winter!#I spent my childhood with self imposed utilitarianism for no reason#no reason to expand my horizons and explore myself because I thought of myself as a lesser being that was fated to die randomly before#I could reproduce.#oh my goodness the reproduction thing! I thought I was straight for the longest time because I had to be#because the purpose of a person is to reproduce. yet I was all like”I can’t reproduce as I am autistic and would taint my offspring. I am a#genetic dead end and deserve to have the effect of natural selection take place”#through tv show mimicry and being a utilitarian little git I forced myself to be straight for years#and the worse part is I KNEW GAY PEOPLE EXISTED AND I ENVYED THEM FOR NOT HAVING TO REPRODUCE OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT KARKAT FELT LIKE? NO I
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Ship ask game: Ranchers? (Jimmy/Tango)
this is quite an interesting one, I had to think about this! I was quite late to the life series scene and binged third, last and double life in a few weeks. and got into all the big ships (ren/martyn, etho/bdubs/cleo, and yes… even scarian. the rarepair blog was a scarian enjoyer. and ranchers is included here too)
I remember really enjoying ranchers, I think it has a lot of appeal of being two characters nobody even thought about interacting before, who just click and end up being one of the most functional pairs in double life. also their reuniting scene in the empires crossover was adorable
so, while I did enjoy them, they just don’t click with me the way other ships do for me for a number of small reasons. 1) I don’t watch jimmy, so not too familiar with his character or as attached as I might be to someone I’ve watched for years. 2) I prefer other tango ships (tango/zed and tango/any big decked out player). 3) this is very much a personal taste thing but I dislike a lot of the “hybrid instinct” fics because often the way they write instincts is just… not how instincts work and a lot of ranchers fics seem to revolve around hybrid instincts for some reason? (I think this is just an avian character thing? I hardly see any hybrid instinct stuff for xb ren etc I usually only see it for grian and jimmy). also I’m not too keen on the blaze tango headcanon since it doesn’t make too much sense to me, and I see that constantly in ranchers fics and art. no hate to the people that enjoy those things, just personally meant I never got too into fanon ranchers when I did join the fandom.
so, all this to say, ranchers is a cool ship and its fun to see occasionally, but not too invested. I also haven’t watched any life series stuff in a while so maybe when I rewatch DL I’ll feel differently
#i always feel a little awkward discussing traffic ships because i do not know nearly enough about the characters#like you guys are out here doing analysis and i just think they’re neat#so just keep in mind these takes are from a casual enjoyer and don’t take them too seriously (this goes for all traffic ships)#also i’ve only watched half of limlife and none of secret. i am meaning to since i’ve heard they’re good#but just got to find some time#this post came out longer than expected. I just like to ramble!#solidaritek#team rancher#trafficshipping#ask game
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What if Dennis punches the arcade thing with such strength and rage like that because it’s directly after Mac tells them he has a boyfriend or something <3
#iasip#macdennis#sunny sweet 16#sunny sweet 16 trailer#text#anmmbposts#so like they’re all having a good time bowling teasing each other and then Mac drops that news#and then Dennis goes off but in a way that looks like he’s just proving a point with the game#it’s unlikely but I’ve lost my mind months ago so <3
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the new guy in my head is kind of frightening but in a good way Help
#literally not even an hour after talking about shit in the gc did this motherfucker appear out of nowhere#got confused out of my mind and spent an hour trying to distract ourselves from it by playing fuckass games#and as it turns out. That helped him solidify himself?#he is kind of like. monsoon? kind of?#I’ve never drawn what the monsoon in my head looks like have I . hell#he is like a wispier & darker version#hard to describe. Like condensed black fog?#it ‘feels’ soft#i have a feeling I know why he showed up but I don’t really want to think about it#still.. I wonder what he will end up being like#he is still sort of developing but mostly conscious?#it is strange to ‘see’ this friend (the kind of shit you’d see in a nightmare) curled up in the ‘field’#<-field referring to a place in headspace (somewhere nearby indigo’s usual area actually)#I have a feeling he’ll stick with monsoon for some reason? i think they’re both going to have a similar disposition#on that topic. i still don’t know why monsoon talks like that. what provoked that#goodness…#koka posting#i just realized that I still haven’t eaten anything today#and it is 3 in the morning#this may explain some things
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do you guys wanna hear my insane hassel x brassius x reader plot of course you do strap in and let me talk shit;
so this is like, technically a sequel AU after the Hassel x reader and Brassius x reader (i’m working on it!!!) nsfw oneshots, where a year or two has passed and you return to Paldea for the longterm bc of your job. Obviously you don’t remember the one night stands that well bc they were for fun, hopefully the idiots are happy but it’s nunya business about some strangers’ love life, so you go about your own
and that’s when you’re in Mesagoza and a tiny fomantis crashes into you by accident. and it won’t leave you alone after you kinda calmed it down
so you’re like “Wait, what do I do now. Who’s pokemon is this-“ until someone comes running to you in the distance, yelling apologies and when he gets closer-
It’s Brassius. The guy with the funny green hair and dramatic personality and it takes you a second or two to recognize but it strikes a chord in your memory. And him too, apparently, when he skids to a halt and goes, “it’s you!”
cue spiderman-meme pointing. cue a quick conversation of sorta catching up and to refresh your memory before he drags you off despite your protest, fomantis attached to your head like some fancy clown hat. Ten minutes later you both stop before a cafe table where Hassel is - oh he remembers too - gaping at you both, but mostly at you to be honest
(“So I take it that the confession went well, huh.” you say, and the blush that lights up on his cheeks is a familiar, lovely sight)
you spend the afternoon with them bc they insist on treating you to lunch (and thank you for your accidental interference and to apologize for the trouble they put you through before, which you don’t mind tbh it’s actually kinda funny looking back.) they’re married for over a year or two now, which is great, hell yeah! you’re super happy for them, congratulations, jesus christ i cannot believe you both knew each other for over a decade, practically lived together and only confessed bc of the incident, what the hell-
and unfortunately, no matter what you three try, the fomantis just doesn’t want to leave your side
why don’t you take care of it for the moment? Hassel suggests, which Brassius immediately lights up bc that is a fantastic idea! what says you, my dear? so after a discussion of pokemon expenses (I’ll take care of it, Brassius waves his hand. no need to concern yourself over it) you sorta? kinda agreed to a weekly visit to Artazon or Mesagoza so you and fomantis can check in with them
and so goes the weekly lunch visits where you kinda learn more about the eccentric couple? turns out Brassius is an expert with grass types and you spend hours listening to him talk about fertilizer mixes and how much water and attention you should give to a fomantis (the species is unfortunately one of the more difficult types to look after, wow). Hassel is also good with advice whenever Brassius has to attend important events. you learn the right way to cradle grass pokemon like toddlers and weeks later Brassius takes you to Alfonada so your fomantis can pick a pot for sunbathing
(and throughout the time spent together you find it lovely to just watch them both interact. Brassius and Hassel are obviously smitten towards each other and all the little things they do are just really nice to observe quietly. Individually too, you can definitely appreciate watching them enjoying themselves and being good at what they do, like whoa Brassius looks really nice in that open-collared shirt and the way he sometimes rocks his smoliv in his arms and dances with his pokemon is really endearing and cute)
and then bc fomantis (you don’t give it a name bc it’s not technically yours but you might as well call it Big Baby from how clingy it is) starts to get acclimated you can probably start slowing down the visits to just once or twice a month. you’re kind of relieved that you’re getting the hang of this and won’t need to trouble Brassius too much now
except Brassius looks… a little moody? Upset? Disappointed when you both brought it up? or maybe you’re just looking too much into it?
but he doesn’t mention anything so your visits slow down in the end, and you take fomantis out to the forests and lakes to get enough exercise and sunlight, and honestly you’re just minding your own business but turns out god has other plans for you-
bc that’s when you stumble across a disturbed dragon habitat and now a Dreepy has accidentally attached to you.
deja vu, huh.
so now it’s Hassel’s turn to host the weekly meet ups bc turns out the man’s a dragon tamer, holy fucking shit, and rehabilitating a baby dragon is one of the most difficult things in the world without formal training. you do the same song and dance again and throw in outings to the wild where you both try to locate the scattered pod of Dragapults and Dragloaks. Brassius joins in when he has the time and somehow you three just start to have picnics together I guess. you’re not complaining tbh the both of them are a joy to spend time with
(and Hassel is really cute when he’s coaxing baby dragons? plus how calm he is when he’s calming down wild adults and knowledgeable he is in regards to the region and the care and concerns he has towards the endangered species- WOUGH he plays the guitar and piano too wtf is there anything this man can’t do???)
your schedule now develops into like, every one or two weeks you chill with either Hassel or Brassius and once a month or two the three of you hang out together. you hang until y’all actually find the dragon pod, but by now the Dreepy refuses to leave you so…
“I guess I’m responsible for a dragon and a plant now,” you shrug, not too upset. You’ve kinda warmed up to them by this point. you tell Brassius and Hassel they don’t have to keep paying for the expenses anymore, you’ll find a way to deal with it since you’re a trainer now. and they can free up most of their time now that they don’t have to keep babysitting you?
what you didn’t expect was to see the faint disappointment and crestfallen look on Hassel??? Like Brassius???? jesus, don’t be so sad, they can always grab lunch with you anytime, y’know, even if there’s no pokemon raising, just text you lmao they have your phone number anyways
which turns out to be the right thing to say bc now you’re getting invited to little art shows and outings occasionally now, and even dinners. that’s nice, you think, honestly they’re both lucky to have each other and maybe in some other life you probably would have dated either one of them but eh, you’re content where you’re at right now tbh, no biggie-
until a few weeks later they drop the bomb on you that they’ve been trying to hint at you for months now and do you want to date them, yes the both of them at the same time, Brassie looses his mind after our lunches now and HASS you TRAITOR says the man who blushes every time I bring them up when we k-
cue internal panic, some discussion about polyamory and expectations and stuff but… long story short, somehow you end up dating the both of them, now???
(you don’t find out one of them is a goddamn gym leader and the other an elite four until months later for some fucking reason, and you loose your shit inevitably bc NO WONDER YOU‘RE BOTH SO GOOD AT BATTLING, WHAT THE HELL)
(bonus chapter is where the both of them fuck you into the bed until the frame cracks, get that old men ass babey)
#chatter#pokemon sv#outline might change but this is literally what has been rolling in my mind for the past week#it’s just a fuckinf romcom w mutual pining#except you’re like chill w the pining you think they’re off limits but it’s nice watching them regardless#healthy relationships are great and you’re happy to be friends w two dorks#while Brassius and Hassel are fucking playing 4D chess and pining so hard just wondering if their flirting game isn’t enough#or you’re not interested at all but sometimes you return their signals and they’re so fucking confused#anyways if I ever write this it’s gonna be 6 chapters medium burn bc I have no energy#this fic is literally an excuse for me to rant about everything i love and hc about Brassius and Hassel and to make them look GOOD#and to write about them in LOVE#bc i will not compromise on the hassel x brassius ship at all#before i even touch the x reader part#im going to lay down#snippet
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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People who are smug about their skill in ovw are the same ones who are low gm and smurf in plat and diamond because they can’t feed their own ego when getting dunked on by players of their own skill level
#they’re only smug because they intentionally associate with people worse with them#people who are good at the game but aren’t smug play with their friends in qp. using a smurf to play comp with friends who are lower rank#is just boosting. it does more for their ego than for their friendship#c talks#longass edit on accident:#*the ones who play exclusively comp without smurfing/boosting friends also aren’t smug#unless they’re making fun of the people lower than them even in gm#seeing someone get made fun of for being ‘hardstuck’ 4100 is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen#like that’s still extremely rude it means they’re good at the game and most likely still have a life at the same time#but it’s just. an extremely funny insult#you do have to keep in mind that gm was not an equal playing field#it’s the highest rank sure#but with SR you have to remember that each rank was separated by 500 sr#and in some games you could have a majority of players who are essentially a rank ‘above’ gm (4400-4500) while still being gm#that’s where the t500 distinction kinda showed#bring back SR I hate the league style system. I guess it’s obviously not just league but it was superior 😭
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so glad i’ve grown enough as a person to no longer care whether a ship should be canon but still lose my mind when i realize it kinda is
#i listened to the official komaeda songs a few days ago and i have been Thinking about them#fucking hell. ‘hook up.’ ‘sex up.’ hello#christ’s sake. fucking . hell#and then there’s the games themselves#despair disease ‘go away already i hate seeing your face’#island mode ‘love nest’ and ‘i don’t mind if you just want to see me naked’#hajime’s ‘i want to understand him’ ‘i can’t stop thinking about him’#i don’t need kmhn to be canon by any means. i am perfectly content with my subtext#but like. it is .2 meters away from canon it is literally right there#like. can you really say ‘i’m truly in love with y- the hope that sleeps inside you’ like .#come the fuck on.#(takjng the more accurate translation from japanese there btw. which has an explicitly romantic word for love in there)#(and the hope part is added like a cover up. come the fuck on)#it’s at the point where i can barely call it subtext. it’s just Text#and i’ve only named like a THIRD of the lines that hint at it. like good christ#they’re so homoerotic it’s like not even subtle anymore#and like i said. i don’t need it to be canon. i’m certainly not gonna fight anyone about it#however i will reel at the fact that it’s literally only a kiss scene away from being confirmed#hell i didn’t even MENTION the anime. what the fuck was that gun scene#good lord. it almost makes me angry
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treated myself to the very short beginning section of three houses just now but i had to stop n turn off my switch when the game asked me to pick a house bc i started agonising over whether to go w edelgard first or just jump straight into the claude route
#x#fe posting#everyone and their momma says to leave verdant wind for last bc it’s the most satisfying to tie up all loose ends route#and to do azure moon or crimson flower first. bc they work better as one of the first routes#and i TOLD myself ok ok sure i’ll do edelgard first then that’s fine. i like her and a lot of the black eagle characters im sure it’ll be#fun. but meeting claude in game and giggling n twirling my hair over everything he says is KILLING MEEEEEE i can’t abandon him i can’t IM#GONNA FEEL SOOOO BAD#he’s so charming crying real tears rn. i Know what i need to do but man…. pain n suffering …#i remember seeing a take somewhere once that said smth abt how claude gets so permanently shut out of the true potential of his goals on any#route that doesn’t pick him bc he doesn’t get the chance to really establish himself / figure out all the secrets of the game#and so he’s just narratively. barred/locked out from his dreams for good. and ever since i read that it makes me wanna crawl up n DIE when#i think abt it CLAUDE. CLAUDEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also just in general he’s SOO funny and quirky i love him so much he only said like maybe ten lines total but he’s literally such a riot#playing the game while knowing what his entire deal is is HILARIOUS he’s so fucking funny. and painfully tragic even from the get go. AUGH#one of his first things being calling himself the embodiment of distrust is so. it’s just so!!!!! like he WANTS u to know it’s all an act#EVERYONE knows it he’s not being subtle at all BUT THATS THE POINT!!!!! bc if everyone knows it’s an act that he plays around w then they#wont go snooping around as much!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHH !!!! CLAUDE !!!!#im going crazy i shouldn’t have played this i need to finish my last assignment first. n then i can lose my mind over claude#OHHH also can i just say his + edelgards first interactions are SOOOOO funny they’re so much fun. i love their little banter n back n forth#literally iconic showstopping no one can top them EVER#anyways. it’s almost 3am i need to sleep n write my essay tmrw lol
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who r some of ur favorite va's?
I’m so scared of being told they suck as people (cause I just kinda want to live in ignorance and enjoy their characters and not care about their actual lives because I don’t intend to idolize them) if I mention them but Allegra Clark, Cherami Leigh, Ben Diskin, Patrick Seitz, Robbie Daymond, and Erica Mendez are exceptionally good voice actors. Most of them do a wide range of voices (Robbie especially has such an insane range between his most notable characters) and Seitz mostly does the same voice (although he CAN do some different voices) but he’s a staple in a lot of games to the point that I’m disappointed if there’s not a “burly macho man” for him to voice. All of them are in several video games I play & I know Seitz does anime too (not sure on the others though).
#allegra clark voices some hot ladies :)#dorothea. shamir. beidou my beloveds#i hate one of Ben Diskin’s characters a lot but he’s just so good I don’t mind#he voices two characters in one game just like clark and you wouldn’t even know#actually wait he also does that in another game too lmao#fire emblem three houses and trials of cold steel. two characters in each#robbie voices one of my favorite characters!#in final fantasy xv. but then he’s like the complete opposite character in fire emblem 3 houses#and they’re like the same age too#i love that the ffxv one has several lines that could be said by the fe3h one but w/ entirely different vibes#video game stuff
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