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mthofferings2023 · 1 year ago

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penguinofthewaddles

See penguinofthewaddles’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Email: [email protected] Tumblr: penguinofthewaddles Twitter: penguinwaddlesd Instagram: penguinofthewaddles

Preferred organizations: - Assistance Dogs International - Autistic Self Advocacy Network - Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (See the list of approved organizations here)

Will create works that contain: Fluff, angst, happy ending, hurt/comfort, fight scenes, cuddle scenes, platonic kisses (not on lips) and hugs, romantic kisses (with ships I like), platonic and romantic cuddling, fix-it, whump, traumatized character recovery, injury/hurt recovery, happy family dynamics, dysfunctional family, implied trauma (torture, heartbreak, neglect, loss) recovery and stuff like that, found family, people eating together, platonic sleeping together (innocent, just for comfort/cold), domestic fluff, some ships, mental illness (depression, anxiety, etc.), neurodivergent things, recovery, action scenes, happy/hopeful ending, (character) gets a hug, characters watching movies together

Will not create works that contain: Really sexual stuff (slightly implied might be ok but case by case basis!), extreme gore (ok with some, just not excessively pls), overeating, excessive body horror, horror in general (spooky/scary is ok, just not too disturbing), any hate/debate regarding religion or politics or controversial things (hate from other characters is ok on marvel villains or bad things happening in Marvel), hating on other people's interests, full nudity, unhappy endings

-- Art --

Auction ID: 1155

Will create works for the following relationships: Loki/Sylvie - MCU Loki-centric - MCU B-15-centric - MCU Wanda Maximoff/Vision - MCU Namor & Shuri - MCU Loki & Thor - MCU Matt Murdock/Jennifer Walters - MCU Gamora/Peter Quill - MCU Miles Morales/Gwen Stacy - Spider-Verse (animated films) Bruce Banner & Heimdall & Loki & Thor & Valkyrie - MCU

Work Description: I do digital art in a cartoony/comic booky style!! I also do Chibi that you can see on my socials here! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed ;) Though I’m a bit picky about shipping, so I might not want to do some relationships super shippy and romantic other than what's listed. Willing to draw pretty much anything gen with characters I know. Feel free to still ask if I want to do a specific romantic ship or something, though; I still might consider it! I'm familiar with all of the MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through though!) Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate ;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Art --

Auction ID: 2077

Will create works for the following relationships: Loki fandom any gen - MCU Loki & Mobius - MCU Daredevil fandom any gen - MCU Agents of SHIELD fandom any gen - MCU Moon Knight fandom any gen - MCU Loki & Thor - MCU Guardians of the Galaxy fandom any gen - MCU Avengers fandom any gen - MCU Kamala Khan-centric - MCU Bruce Banner & Loki & Thor & Valkyrie - MCU

Work Description: This is a platonic/gen only auction! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed! I'm familiar with all of MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through though!) I do a cartoony/semi realistic style and chibi (see my examples here)! Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

-- Art --

Auction ID: 3028

Will create works for the following relationships: Sylvie-centric - MCU Loki-centric - MCU Wanda Maximoff-centric - MCU Remy LeBeau/Rogue - X-Men: The Animated Series Layla El-Faouly & Steven Grant & Marc Spector - MCU Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers - What If..? Frigga & Loki - MCU Shuri & T'Challa - MCU Michelle Jones/Peter Parker - MCU Loki & Wanda Maximoff & Stephen Strange - MCU

Work Description: I do digital art in a cartoony/comic booky style!! I also do Chibi that you can see on socials here! I can do different characters/relationships than what I listed. ;) Though I’m a bit picky about shipping, so I might not want to do some relationships super shippy and romantic other that what's listed. Willing to draw pretty much anything gen with characters I know. Feel free to still ask if I want to do a specific romantic ship or something, though; I still might consider it! I'm familiar with all of the MCU shows and movies, some of X-Men movies, Spider-Man and X-Men Ultimate universe comics, and the AOS Loki storyline! (Haven’t finished it all the way through tho!) Most likely would be half-body and a couple characters together but willing to negotiate. ;) As I now work and am in school again, I might need some grace time with my busy schedule, so probably about 1-3 months depending on which auction number you are! (I am doing 3 auctions and I can only work on one at a time lol). If you would like it for a specific holiday or something, let me know and I can try and make it work! I usually work best with more frequent communication! I like sending wips lol and feel free to reach out for any questions/updates. I usually am most active on Instagram/Twitter/Discord. Also, the more details/specificity in the prompt, the easier it is for me! Please consider donating to one of the neurodivergent/disability support charities if bidding for this! My cousin is severely disabled and my family has been struggling to find the right care for him, so just on my heart lately and would mean a lot to me as a neurodivergent person myself as well. ❤️❤️ Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see your prompt!

Ratings: Gen, Teen, Mature

Can pods bid on this auction? Yes - Podbids welcome!

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

The auction runs from October 22 (12 AM ET) to October 28 (11:59:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

#penguinofthewaddles #auction: art #mth 2023

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grymmnox · 2 years ago

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dfo fic recs <3

said this was gonna be an owl house blog. i lied. whoops.. have some dad for one fic recs. all under the cut!

hero’s shadow - feelingstabby

teen and up, gen, creator chose not to use archive warnings

incomplete, 55/100 chapters, 481,829 words (yes, the author has stated that they are actually aiming for 100 chapters)

summary:

Izuku doesn’t cry. He is a weapon, and weapons don’t weep.

He won’t cry until the battle, when he’s falling through the air, when it settles in just how real it is that he’s going to die, because yeah, the doctor warned him this would happen, but there’s always been a part of Izuku that thought he’d live forever.

Just like his father told him.

Or, how a few heroes help Midoriya Izuku become something more than a lost vigilante.

yes, vigilante izuku with plenty of trauma. and dadzawa and dadmic. and mistakes made on several people’s parts, because they are all human. i love it..sm. as of writing this post, i’m on chapter 39, so over halfway through. however, i have a feeling something is coming up. we’ll see :)

Ill-Gotten Gains - ghostmaybite

mature, gen + m/m, archive warnings do not apply/creator chose not to use archive warnings

incomplete, 36/? chapters, 225,740 words

summary:

When his father and Tomura start planning the USJ attack, Izuku makes a plan of his own. It’s simple, only four steps:

1. Steal Eraserhead’s quirk 2. Use it to kill All for One 3. Give Erasure back, hopefully 4. Go to jail, probably

He’s prepared for the plan to fail at any time, but surprisingly, it’s not until step 4 that things fall through.

FANTASTIC dad for one fic. honestly amazing. i love it. so much. ALSO!! izuku has afo! as in the quirk! or a version of it! it is so...akjsndfhjgjhgnad!! it is FULL of angst! (and the stain arc is coming up...excited.) everyone is becoming a train. now that i’ve said something you won’t understand without context, you’ve gotta read the fic. go on. do it.

the face of the future, the blood in my veins - intheeveningsunrise

mature, gen, creator chose not to use archive warnings

complete, wip sequel/recovery fic. 27 chapters, 218,513 words

summary:

“My name is Midoriya Izuku,” he says in a hushed voice. “I’m from Musutafu. Born and raised here.”

Mikumo blinks at him. “That supposed to mean something?”

“I don’t know!” Izuku throws his palms up in surrender, huffing. “What else am I supposed to say?”

“Look, I don’t have time for this. Just tell me why you stole my face, so I can kill you.”

“Uh… this isn’t your face. This is my face. I was born with it.”

“You are so, so close to getting stabbed.”

or, Izuku runs into his twin at the USJ - and then proceeds to run into him seemingly everywhere he goes.

With every meeting, the two begin to uncover a deep web of lies that has been suffocating them both ever since they were children. All the while, Izuku tries desperately to pull Mikumo out of the grasp of their father - All For One.

ahahHAHA YES I LOVE THIS FIC...still have to finish it. i plan on doing it very soon. maybe even after posting this. we’ll see. it is AMAZING..and also adds mikumo into the mix :) it’s REALLY interesting, but def deals with heavy themes- which is honestly kinda just..in the territory when it comes to dfo fics. but yeah. read the tags, which you should do for every fic you read but yk

A Stranger's Smile, a Traitor's Guile - JoWithTheFlo

mature, gen, graphic depictions of violence

incomplete, 9/? chapters, 35,185 words

summary:

“Do you ever get tired of it?” Touya asked. “Eating shit food out of dumpsters and bathing in public bathrooms?”

“I do,” Izuku answered, honestly. “But I’m free this way.”

“What if you could be free and have a roof over your head too?”

Izuku gave him an amused look. “I can’t. I’m eight years old and, technically, don’t exist. It’s not as if I could get a job to pay rent.”

“I could though,” Touya said, voice oddly strained as he made the offer. “If you wanted. To live like that, instead.” --- Wherein Izuku has All for One, uses it to help whoever he can, and stumbles across a family along the way.

i LOVE THIS FIC. touya/dabi and izuku bonding has always been something i’ve enjoyed and looked for, and this one having dfo and izuku w/ the afo quirk?? checks off SO MANY BOXES. seriously, give it a read. you’ll probably enjoy it.

sitting in my hand is the sand of a shattered hourglass - zel_over_on_the_beach

mature, gen, creator chose not to use archive warnings

oneshot (part of a series, though! there is an incomplete prequel fic), 12,254 words

summary:

I am here! I am here! Izuku keeps waking up on the day villains attack the training camp, and the only way he can think of to end the loop is to keep everyone else safe. Too bad he keeps failing at that.

It's a time loop fic, okay?

TIME LOOP FIC. YEAH. its so...alkdsfjsdfkasbdfksa. read the tags, of course. shit goes down with muscular..quite a few times, really. it’s just. MMMMM SO GOOD. definitely give it a read if you enjoy time loop fics. or even if you don’t, give it a chance. it’s fantastic.

Pull him under - SorrowSeye

teen and up, gen, no archive warnings apply

oneshot, 9,875 words

summary:

All the stress of recent events is enough to turn Izuku's hair white. In fact, it does just that; when his hair loses all color overnight, Izuku ends up looking incredibly similar to someone he would never want ties to.

Nothing can hold you down quite like family.

ONE OF THE FIRST (if not the first) DFO FICS I READ. it is SO GOOD. definitely, DEFINITELY, check it out. all might is there, as is the rest of class 1-a..such a good fic. i’ll be giving it a reread soon, that’s for sure.

Words as Weapons - NearoRiver

teen and up, gen, no archive warnings apply

incomplete, 33/38 chapters, 109,275 words

summary:

When Midoriya Inko dies in childbirth, Midoriya Hisashi—better known as All for One—decides to raise his son Izuku by himself... without ever telling Izuku he’s Japan’s worst supervillain. While navigating his father’s high expectations, insidious emotional abuse, and overpowering quirk, Izuku fights to become a hero.

- - -

Old summary: Midoriya Hisashi is All for One. Midoriya Izuku is going to become a hero.

who would i be if i DIDN’T add this fic?? it is SO GOOD. I LOVE IT. seriously, read it. after reading the tags, of course. the way afo is written in this fic is..so good. utterly terrifying and disgusting but SO GOOD. SO WELL DONE. it’s just. adskjnfajklsdnfkjasdfba. AND THE TRAINIGN CAMP ARC IS COMING UP...like it is starting SOON. i am EXCITED.

well, i think that’s it for now. feel free to ask for any mha fic recs (or toh, but tbh most of what i read there is. hunter-centric. and it’s a tad difficult for me to read fics w/o him being a major part..which kinda sucks cus i’m sure there’s many wonderful fics i’m missing out on bc of it.)

if any of the links are wrong or broken or whatever, please let me know so i can fix em (or try to, at least. whether i succeed is another matter entirely.)

#bnha #mha #fic recs #reclist #[.grims recs]#yeah thats gonna be my fic rec tag cus why not #dad for one #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #all for one #midoriya hisashi #uhhhh #i think thats it??#tell me if i should add any more tags cus i will gladly do so #oh yeah #bnha fic recs #mha fic recs #dfo fic recs #there

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

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hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal”

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely).

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’)

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends.

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here).

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious!

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person. Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp sebastian #gen z pureblood mc #i had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this met your expectations friend! c:#comte and leo: uwu grandparents #mozart: okay BOOMER #napo: HAHAHA shithead siblings i love it #arthur and shakes: wouldn't you like to know weather boy. 'where are your parents??' (parts one and two)#vincent and isaac: BRUH S A M E S I E S #theo: **meme voice** 'is there anything worse than a rapist?' BOOM 'a child.' 'N O!'#jeanne: endearing but out of touch uncle while dazai is WOOOOO LET'S DRINK BLEACH uncle #sebastian: ah yes ty for the modicum of brain cells and competence that also shatters gender norms my good bi bitch #**Gilligan's cut to MC and Dazai wearing sunglasses and matching hats that read 'i put the (me) in disappointment'**

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years ago

Text

Pairings: Past Aizawa/Mandalay

Word Count: 1,9218 Words

Summary: The Sports Festival, part 1.

Warnings: Food Mention, Death Mention, Caps, Cursing, Teen Pregnancy, Fighting Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20, Yamada: President Megaphone, Bakugou: deku-deck-you

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 8

7:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

gay salt: Tokoyami, I know it's the sports festival and all today, but you didn't need to bring everyone sandos and sports drinks again.

foil-mecha: Thing is, I didn't.

farmer toshi: No, no, because my whole class has sandos and sports drinks on their desks too. And I heard the other Gen Ed classes causing a ruckus over them too. Seems like someone put sando throughout the whole school.

feral cat dad: That would be me. I'm not letting any of you kids go without eating during a major sports event where you'll likely get injured and your bodies need fuel to fight and I won't let you not eat.

feral cat dad: My old Gen Ed teacher, Miss Rin, began this tradition of giving out sandos and water at the gate to students on the day of the Sports Festival. Nezu sanctioned of course, since he refused to allow her to pay for it herself. And now it's carried on through me since she passed on a few years ago.

ranch flavored jello: That's actually really sweet, Dad.

feral cat dad: If you tell anyone it was me who put them out, I'll make you clean the roof level.

ranch flavored jello: We have a roof level?

feral cat dad: You guys didn't know the dorms have roof access?

ranch flavored jello: Well, now we do. Where even are the stairs to it?

feral cat dad: Literally next to my room, I don't know how you haven't found them.

deku deck-you: It's the door next to his room, Toru. Even I found it. You've been here five more days than me.

ranch flavored jello: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BROOM CLOSET!

feral cat dad: Oh my gods, these kids will be the end of me.

8:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: God help me being alone with this idiot.

feral cat dad: I'm using this chat for extra commentary because there are things I can't say on live national television commentary so they'll all be said here.

feral cat dad: Oh god, Katsuki, no. Don't slander our name.

feral cat dad: Please.

feral cat dad: GOD DAMMIT

feral cat dad: Obstacle Course? Fuck.

feral cat dad: Most proud of my son managing to evade Todoroki's ice despite never dealing with it before.

feral cat dad: Also, Todoroki, who hurt you as a child? That was purposeful so nobody could catch up!

feral cat dad: Get it, Pikachu.

feral cat dad: I'm proud of my gremlin children.

feral cat dad: I'm not paid enough to make commentary on this obstacle.

feral cat dad: Except for my son. I care about my ground-bound son getting across the pit to Tartarus shit.

feral cat dad: Gods, mines. I remember those landmines. I hate those things. They almost made me temporarily blind during my second year Sports Festival.

feral cat dad: What the FUCK Midoriya!?

8:45 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Alright you're probably in the break room for the twenty five minute break by now. Katsuki, what's wrong with your arms? You were holding them.

deku deck-you: Just a lot of work. Overworking. I guess it can't be helped, this is why I have so much wrist support in my hero costume, to help keep my hands from feeling cramped from the explosions.

feral cat dad: Come up to the box, I'll shut old parakeet up if he tries to speak.

deku deck-you: Why?

feral cat dad: I have some ibuprofen, come take two, it should help the pain at least.

deku deck-you: Thank you.

9:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Am I allowed to ask why Vlad King is taking care of a small child when he, in fact, doesn't have children?

feral cat dad: Just realized I won't get an answer because you all made it to the next round. I'm so proud but dammit, now I'm curious.

9:20 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: I...What?

feral cad dad; I hate the cavalry battle, that was difficult to keep track of. I don't know how Hizashi does it.

schrodinger better run: Obviously, the answer is very carefully.

feral cat dad: I'm sorry you didn't make it through, Pony. I have candy if you want some.

schrodinger better run: Thank you! I'll stop by and grab it on my way to lunch.

feral cat dad: If you're going to meet back up with your class, text me why there's a child.

schrodinger better run: There's a child?

feral cat dad: smallchildinvladkingsarms.jpg

schrodinger better run: He looks a lot like Tokage.

9:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

ranch flavored jello: Mr. Aizawa, this is Mina, Toru's busy crying so she asked me to ask you. Mineta and Kaminari are telling us 1a girls that you instructed we wear the cheerleader uniforms for the afternoon. What should we tell them?

feral cat dad: Tell them they have three weeks of detention each to look forward to and don't wear those fucking uniforms.

schrodinger better run: Okay, so apparently the kid's here because Tokage brought him in? I still don't have a full explanation, but his name is Mitsu and he's 2 years old.

feral cat dad: Okay. So Tokage brought her little brother or something?

nat20: I'm not so sure about that. He just called her Mama.

feral cat dad: So Tokage has a son?

nat20: It seems like it.

feral cat dad: Oh, Nezu won't be happy about this. He wanted any young parents to report to him after the opening ceremony and alert him if they had any children so they would stay in the dorms.

nat20: To be fair, it would seem Tokage would be the only one out of all the first year classes, so it might have been too much pressure to fit in. Or she may even just has help enough at home that she didn't feel she needed to tell anyone.

feral cat dad: He'll still be mad. Believe me, he'll at least force her to accept a UA fund card so she doesn't need to work to support the baby.

saviour: We got to talking and, apparently, she gives him to a daycare while she's at school and she picks him up when she leaves school.

feral cat dad: Yup, she'll probably be moved on campus if she's not having her family take care of the baby during the day. Nezu's very adamant that his students have help if they're struggling.

10:45 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Alright, so Shinsou against Rikamaru Kana from the Support Course. I don't know if this will be easy for him.

nat20: I am offended Kendo thinks so little of me.

feral cat dad: Why?

nat20: She said I'm perverse! And, when I asked her about it after, she said it's because I wear the girls' uniform sometimes. She thinks I'm some pervert trying to invade the girl's bathroom to creep on them.

nat20: I swear I haven't, Mr. Aizawa, I've never even gone into the girls restrooms, I use the men's or the one in Recovery Girl's office. And I change in the men's locker room. Tetsutetsu will tell you, he's guarded me before when I was uncomfortable changing.

feral cat dad: Don't worry, kid, I believe you. Come up to the box, you need a hug. I'll talk to Kendo if you want.

nat20: Please.

10:50 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Oh my god, he actually did it. I'm so proud, Shinsou.

schrodinger better run: Shinsou fucking yeeted her.

life is a nightmare: Equal opportunity yeeting.

feral cat dad: Next up is Hatsume vs Tokoyami.

nat20: I hope Tokoyami does well next.

11:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Tokoyami, I'm proud of you for being a good sport and helping her up after.

foil-mecha: I'm nothing if not a gentleman. Plus, when she fell down, she sprained her ankle. It's the least I can do to help her to Recovery Girl.

farmer toshi: I'm betting a grocery shop tonight that Ashido's going to win against Midoriya next.

feral cat dad: Be careful kid, you might eat those words.

11:10 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Fine, I guess I'm getting dinner. And I'm also very happy Toru won against Iida.

feral cat dad: That's if you don't get injured. Remember, there's now two people you know against you.

ranch flavored jello: I still can't believe I won against Iida, honestly.

feral cat dad: Well, Shiozaki is against Shizuka Inei next. A Gen Ed Course student.

nat20: Do you know him, Hitoshi?

farmer toshi: Kind of hard to miss someone when they're that fucking loud all the time.

foil-mecha: Is that son of a bitch harassing Ibara?

nat20: I have lost faith in humanity. How dare a peasant's filthy hands touch our Ibara.

farmer toshi: Yeah, I'd defend my classmate in it being an accident if I didn't know that Shizuka is a blatant misogynists.

feral cat dad: I'll fight him. Disgusting little trash.

life is a nightmare: And HE gets to advance while our Ibara loses? Unacceptable.

feral cat dad: The Min*ta of class 1c.

11:25 AM

Existence Is A Prison

nat20: Thank goodness Kiyomi's advancing. I do feel bad she'll be fighting a misogynist though.

pure: I felt kind of bad about it, I didn't really want to fight our Akari!

nat20: I'm sure Akari understands and also didn't want to fight you either, but you two can't just refuse to fight because you're friends or you'd both be either disqualified or forced to fight by now.

gay salt: No ill will is held on my end, Kiyomi! I think our fight was rather fun!

pure: Okay, as long as you promise you're not mad.

gay salt: I'm not, I'm proud of you, mon amor.

nat20: Any bets on Kaminari here?

farmer toshi: I'll bet on Pikachu winning.

schrodinger better run: I'll bet a grocery trip that Fujioka wins.

life is a nightmare: That would be the furthest a Business Course student would have gotten in the Sports Festival.

schrodinger better run: I'll still bet on him.

feral cat dad: Well, you were wrong, Pony.

schrodinger better run: All as well. I didn't expect Fujioka to have an equip quirk, to be fair.

feral cat dad: Next is Tokage vs Fukumura from General Studies.

saviour: Let's go Tokage!

11:30 AM

Existence Is A Prison

deku deck-you: Is Tokage okay? I heard she passed out.

feral cat dad: She's overworked and malnourished from what Recovery Girl will tell me when I ask and Nezu is speaking with Tokage and asking her what got her to this.

feral cat dad: I

feral cat dad: I don't think I'm at liberty to discuss her tragic backstory with you guys, sadly. But she'll tell you when she moves into the dorms tonight.

11:35 AM

Existence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Todoroki, aka Mr. Overboard. Poor Sero.

farmer toshi: Oh god, I might need to fight Mr. Daddy Issues.

farmer toshi: Gods help me.

foil-mecha: To be fair, he'd have to get through three brackets to get to you and he'd be fighting you in the three-way fight.

ranch flavored jello: He'd have to get past Katsuki too.

deku deck-you: He won't.

feral cat dad: Alright then, Mr. Overconfident.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aoyama yuuga #fumikage tokoyami #shinsou hitoshi #aizawa shouta #hagakure tooru #katsuki bakugou #pony tsunotori #monoma neito #ibara shiozaki #kuroiro shihai #juzo honenuki #snoweywrites #aizawa we agreed no more cats au

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veliseraptor · 4 years ago

Note

Separate thought in a separate separate ask! In the danmei world, do you have any thoughts to share about your favorite rarepairs/crackships, and what makes them compelling to you?

oh man! this sounds like fun. see the thing here is mostly that I feel like I have a lot of pairings in the danmei world that are more “wouldn’t it be fun if” rather than actively shipping them, where - okay, I think of my levels of “shipping” something in sort of tiers.

I’ve idly thought about it and found it interesting in passing

if I was recced a fic or a friend wrote one I’d read it, but I wouldn’t go tag crawling on AO3 for it

thought of it and went tag crawling on AO3 because I was curious if anyone else had (subset of “got frustrated when discovered other people had but they weren’t doing it the way I wanted”)

thought of it, went tag crawling on AO3, and came out of it shipping it more

would read fic for it

checks the tag on AO3 every day in case someone has written something new

would write fic for it.

so then it’s like. which level are we talking about, here? but I guess I just go to “things where I have feelings about them” and run with that, eh?

wei wuxian/xue yang. look, we all know at this point how I feel about this one, right? that it would just be - okay, there’s that post, right, that says the good version of this is where they have really fun sex where sometimes one of them comes up with a really cool new necromancy idea in the middle and the bad version is where wei wuxian finds out xue yang has been creating bodies for their experiments himself. :D I’m bastardizing, but you get the point. look!!! they’re foils for each other and everyone knows that narrative foils make for fun pairings. dark mirror parallels make for even more fun pairings. both??? yes, thanks

xue yang/jiang yanli & xue yang/qin su. these are two different ships with different textures but they fit in sort of the same boat for me, part of the appeal of which is “xue yang being around people who are genuinely nice to him is a really fun dynamic” and also “two women who really deserve to have a semi-feral murderer looking out for them, and the opportunity to go a little apeshit.”

nie huaisang/jin guangyao/lan xichen. look, I like 3zun as much as the next person (though I mostly live in xiyao, obviously), but I think if I had to pick a nie to put in the a-yao/xichen dynamic it would be nie huaisang because it makes everything terrible, and I just love terrible dynamics involving emotional manipulation, and relationships that are functioning on different levels depending on the pov of the character you’re looking at. every character in this triad is having a slightly different experience of the relationship. I’m into that.

jin guangyao/xiao xingchen/xue yang. look I thought of it once and I have no idea how or if it would work but I’m into the concept and it does smash together two (three hahaha) things that I like. so you know. there’s that.

jin guangyao/jiang cheng. didn’t see this coming and I’m still not sure I ship it so much in the classical sense as that I want to see the weird wine aunt coparenting energy that they have together, but I’m exploring my options and I like what I see in a general sense.

hua cheng/mu qing. okay, look. again, I’m talking narrative foils (mu qing and xie lian but also I think mu qing and hua cheng). I’m talking proxyfucking. I’m talking hatesex. I’m talking really ill-advised decisions made out of grief (unacknowledged) and anger (acknowledged). I’m talking very lonely very angry ghost kings (kinks) during an 800 year time skip. do you hear me here

jiang cheng/wen ning. unexpected?? and I’m still sort of circling around it like a vulture waiting for the big predators to leave so I can stick my head in its carcass (that metaphor got away from me). but here I am. two traumatized younger brothers whose trauma is very tied together in a lot of ways, with some things in common but a lot of things not? yes, I would like to see where this goes, thank you

hua cheng/he xuan. I feel like I’m cheating because honestly this is another one where I’m not so much like I want a ship as I want them to be weird friends, but I really want them to be weird friends, all their existing interactions in the novel are so hilarious and I just. want more of that.

I was like “drunken hookup during 800 year time skip?” but I feel like even if hua cheng got drunk he might just end up crying and then falling asleep on he xuan, and also can ghost kings (kinks) get drunk anyway. so, you know.

lan wangji/jiang cheng. this feels a little more...expected than some of the other ones here but there’s not nearly enough fic about mutual grieving proxyfucking hatesex and I want there to be more of it, so. give me that messy timeskip content don’t I deserve it. I just like people hurting each other while also hurting themselves, is all

I feel like I’m forgetting some here. possibly part of my problem is I don’t know what counts as a rarepair! like technically I think songxue is but it feels more mainstream I guess than a lot of the other ones on this list. songxuexiao is also like. smaller in the scheme of things? but has a solid community built around it.

this is also leaving off all the very thoroughly gen relationships I want explored, of which there are so many and this post would get truly out of hand if I tried to get into that.

#spockandawe #conversating #dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks #the sad queer cultivators show

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itsbenedict · 4 years ago

Text

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch.

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over.

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense.

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime.

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though)

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

#game rec #also some game non recs #long post

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spencers-renaissance · 4 years ago

Text

Pull Me Out of the Glowing Stream

Summary: Spencer develops bacterial meningitis and Hotch sort of forgets how to breathe

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Protective Hotch, Spencer Reid Whump, Major Illness, Angst, Fluff, Medical Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending

Pairing: Gen, Paternal Hotch

Word Count: 3.8k

Read on AO3

A grotty police department in rural Illinois was really not the time and place for Spencer’s body to decide to have a minor breakdown, but really, what was he expecting at this point? For things to go right for once?

It’s the kind of headache not even two paracetamol and a cup of coffee can shift and he sort of feels like his head might split in two. Not ideal when he had a complicated geographical profile to work up to help the team locate an enraged killer who was flitting between various small towns in the northwest corner of the state.

“Spencer?”

He’s shaken out of his depressing thoughts by Derek’s slightly concerned voice, causing him to pull his hands away from his head and force himself from squinting against the light. He’d felt fine this morning and he can’t really put his finger on what exactly is wrong besides the headache he just feels… off.

If he can help it though, Derek will most definitely not find out. His coworkers don’t need to think he’s anymore weak than they already do.

“Sorry,” Spencer says, feigning a weak smile. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Derek doesn’t look completely convinced, but he nods anyway. “JJ and I are headed to interview the most recent victim’s family but Rossi and Blake will be back from the ME’s office shortly. Hotch is just in the break room talking to some LEOs, alright?” he says, grabbing his leather jacket from the back of one of the chairs. “See you in a bit, Spencer.”

Spencer has to stop himself from physically falling on the floor and rolling into a protective ball as soon as Derek leaves the room. He’s so exhausted and in so much pain, the last thing he wants to do is gather around the table and have to propose valuable theories about the case to build the profile. He just feels like such an outsider sometimes, and it’s been even worse recently. He’s felt himself withdraw from the group, sheltering himself from the prying glances and teasing comments, but he just can’t help it; he doesn’t even know why, really.

Honestly, he’s desperate to crawl back to the hotel room and bury himself under the covers and never resurface again, but he can’t. The only time he really feels valuable is when he’s working, when he’s tangibly contributing to solving the case, and he can’t sacrifice that for a little head cold or whatever’s going on. Besides, nobody needs to hear him whinge about his stupid problems. Everyone has enough to deal with without him as an added burden.

Hotch is shooting him concerned looks and it’s only making him feel worse. He really doesn’t need to be berating himself for making his team members worry on top of already feeling at death’s door. The real problem, however, is that it’s only getting worse. He’s struggling to concentrate and feels hot under the collar, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the swirling nausea in his tummy. But his health cannot be the priority right now and surely Hotch must realise that: there’s a killer on the loose and he knows that he can be an immensely useful resource, headache be damned.

Focus. He tries to look back towards the board -- he knows there’s something in one of the pictures that’s not quite right, not that he can remember which one or what it was -- but his neck protests as he tries to move it, stiffening up in response to the pain. Keeping his head down instead, staring at the case file he has open on the desk in front of him, he notices his pen quivering a little in his hand as it shakes. His glance upwards to check if anyone saw is immediately met by Hotch, whose muted concern has clearly morphed into full-blown distress, and he quickly looks away.

“Spencer?” Hotch says gently, trying not to attract the attention of the other team members who are quietly discussing the case at the other end of the table.

It’s the jerk of his head to look back up at him that does it. He feels his head loll and his stomach drop out from under him, nausea pouring into his insides as his eyes lose their focus. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, though it comes out far too slurred to be intelligible, and everything fades to black.

★

Hotch is pretty sure his heart stops beating for a moment as he watches Spencer slump forward in his chair, falling to the side a little as his muscles give in to what’s clearly been plaguing him all day. The others snap out of their conversation fast, Alex rushing to his side. “Spencer?” she asks, voice insistent and full of anxiety. “Spencer, wake up, come on.” She pauses to press two fingers to his pulse point as her other hand feels his forehead before looking Hotch in the eyes, urgency filling her voice. “His pulse is weak and he has a serious fever.”

“Call an ambulance and explain what’s going on,” Hotch says, feeling the colour leave his face as he takes in the situation. “Dave, I need you, Derek and JJ to carry on working the case, Blake and I will go to the hospital with Spencer.”

The paramedics arrive quickly, by which time everyone in the PD is nosily peering through the windows, eager to watch the macabre theatrics of a medical emergency. Hotch backs away from where he’d crouched to hold Spencer’s hand, as does Blake and Spencer is quickly hooked up to the portable monitor. Hotch didn’t miss the grave glance that was shared between the two of them; he’d given and received enough of them in the course of his career to know they meant not good.

“Blake, you drive behind,” he murmurs softly as he watches an oxygen mask be placed over Spencer’s nose and mouth. “I’m riding with.”

He hasn’t felt so sick to his stomach since he was driving to his own house to meet his wife’s dead body, and God, did he absolutely not miss the feeling. Spencer’s hand is freezing cold, and he’s still shaking slightly through the deep slumber that has overtaken his body, though luckily he’s stable enough that the paramedics don’t seem to be able to do a lot more for him until he is admitted to the ER.

Seeing Spencer lie so small and frail under all the wires as he’s jolted about slightly by the ambulance’s fast pace cuts deep into an area of his heart he usually keeps so closely guarded, reserved for moments with his son and the grief that lingers cold and heavy from Haley’s death. Spencer is family: he’s watching the man he considers a son teeter far too close to the edge of death, and all he can do is remind himself how to breathe.

“Hang in there, Spencer,” he whispers, gently pulling the cold hand he’s holding to his face and holding it there a moment. “You’re going to be okay.” He has to be.

The nearest hospital is thankfully close, and Hotch sends up a prayer of thanks that they were sent to a city and not on a rural, buttfuck nowhere case. The paramedics waste no time wheeling Spencer’s gurney into the ER, reeling off his stats in code Hotch couldn’t hope to understand to the awaiting doctors, admitted immediately for further tests to establish treatment while he’s steered by a patient nurse to a quiet waiting area.

Alex rushes in less than five minutes later, filling with relief when she clocked Hotch sitting in the corner. “Any news?” she asks, cautiously optimistic.

Hotch grimaces in response. “No, he was only just admitted,” he sighs, emotion creeping into his face in a way he usually staves off at work. A hurt Spencer Reid warrants that much, at least. “He was stable in the ambulance, though. They’re running tests now for a diagnosis.” He looks down at his clasped hands. “I should have noticed it sooner.”

Alex sits down next to him slowly and sighs. “There’s no use in blaming yourself,” she says gently. “Spencer wouldn’t want that. We all could’ve picked up on the signs sooner or been more persistent in asking what was wrong, you’re not in the wrong here. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20.”

“I know,” Hotch says eventually. “I just feel so responsible for him. He’s still so young and has so much in front of him, if-- if something happened to him, I’d never forgive myself.”

“Yeah,” Alex whispers, pressing her lips together. “None of us would.”

“I just couldn’t live in a world where Spencer doesn’t exist.” His voice chokes off as the dam breaks and he cries quietly into his hands, pain blossoming in his chest as the thought of Spencer dying and the crushing agony of muffled sobs collide.

“Oh, Hotch,” Alex murmurs sympathetically as she watches her boss crumble in front of her. “No-one’s told us to prepare for Spencer dying, okay? You said yourself that he was stable in the ambulance and aside from a thready pulse and a fever we don’t know anything else about his physical state. Don’t torture yourself with a future that frankly looks unlikely as of now, it’s not worth it.”

Hotch nods, taking a deep if shaky breath in and wiping his eyes one last time, looking back at Alex. “I’m sorry for panicking.”

“Don’t apologise,” she dismisses him gently. “It’s a scary situation, and Spencer is like a son to you.”

“This must be even harder for you,” he says, looking up and meeting her eyes. “I should have stayed stronger for you as well as Spencer.”

“Please,” Alex scoffs. “We all have our ways of coping. Ethan died a long time ago and although the grief I feel for him is like glitter I can’t brush away, I’ve learned how to move forward with my life, carrying that gorgeous shimmer with me.”

They share a small smile over that, and Hotch pats her upper arm with his hand softly before patting his knees and standing up. “I’m going to step outside to call Dave,” he says, a new resolve and determination finding its way into his voice. “I expect that it might be a while, but find me immediately if anything happens, I’ll be just outside the entrance.”

“Aaron?” Dave asks, voice a little tinny and muffled down the phone, swept away slightly by the midwest wind. “How’s Spencer?”

“Not sure yet,” he replies, voice grim. “He was admitted immediately for tests but he was relatively okay the last time I saw him, I think. Alex is here now, and we’ll keep looking over the files while we wait, seeing if we can build on the profile. Ring me with any developments, alright?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Dave says. “Morgan and I have come to follow a lead we got on a possible associate, and I’ll give you a ring when we leave. Sit tight and give my love to the kid when you see him, Aaron.”

They don’t have to sit in vigil for long before a middle-aged doctor calls Spencer’s name in the waiting room. “Unfortunately, Spencer has bacterial meningitis,” she explains gently as soon as they approach her. “It’s been caught relatively early so his chances are good, but this is a serious disease that needs to be monitored closely so he’s been moved to the ICU. He had a seizure shortly after the lumbar puncture we performed which is a sign of an escalation, but we’ve adjusted his meds accordingly and I can assure you he’s getting the best treatment possible. The ICU is limited to one visitor at a time, but you can see him now; he’s awake though a little drowsy.”

Alex smiles at him and ushers him forward while she goes to sit back down without a word, leaving Hotch to follow the doctor. He wishes desperately to have Spencer walking next to him, rapidly reeling off statistics and fast facts about the disease, because he feels a little in the dark, here. All he remembers is that bacterial is the most serious manifestation of meningitis and it has a high fatality rate. The same heavy sickness from the ambulance sinks deeper into his stomach, weighing him down. Spencer could die.

He looks small on the hospital bed. It’s such a cliche but it’s true, his already small frame and the spacious bed combined with his pale face and outfit of wires make him look so tiny and all Hotch wants to do is climb into bed with him and wrap him in a protective hug and never let him go.

“Hotch?” Spencer murmurs as he approaches the bed, smiling gratefully at the doctor before she leaves them to it.

“Yeah, Spencer, it’s me,” he says gently, sitting down in the chair next to the bed and scooching it as close as possible. “How are you holding up?”

“Hurts,” he says, voice weak. “A lot. Bacteria sucks.”

“It does,” Hotch chuckles. “It definitely sucks. Big time. I’m sorry this is happening, Spencer. And I’m sorry we didn’t catch on to you sooner and get you here faster.”

“Please,” he laughs, wincing a bit as the movement settles an ache deeper into his muscles. “I wouldn’t have let you. I can be a little stubborn.”

Spencer’s voice is slurred slightly but the relief settling into Hotch’s bones at how lucid he is feels almost euphoric. “You’re definitely stubborn,” he says fondly, caressing Spencer’s hand with his thumb. “Our stubborn little mule.”

“Not little,” he pouts in response, eyes drooping slowly closed.

“No,” he reassures him. “You’re not little. You’re strong, and you’re going to fight this, Spencer.”

“Yeah,” Spencer mumbles. “Fight it. Hotch… stay with me?”

“I’ll stay as long as they’ll let me stay, Angel.”

“Angel,” Spencer whispers, a happy smile playing on his lips as he finally gives in to the sleep tugging at his body.

★

It takes Spencer another three and a half days before he’s awake for more than a few minutes at a time and satisfactorily lucid. Thankfully, the anticonvulsants had staved off another seizure and his temperature was slowly but surely dropping as his body fought off the infection, aided by the intravenous antibiotics being steadily dripped into his bloodstream. His oxygen mask had been swapped for a nasal cannula and he was no longer trembling.

Hotch spends the majority of visiting hours sitting beside his bed, texting or phoning the team while working as many angles as he could with only a laptop and the case files Alex is bringing him, but it seems so trivial everytime he looks up and Spencer is lying there looking small and peaceful as he sleeps, meningitis ravishing his body. He’d been worried for the first day at how much Spencer was sleeping, but a kind nurse explained that it was normal; his body was just fighting off a brutal infection and could do that best when he was asleep. Now it just makes him happy to see him dreaming away, knowing that his body is doing the best to help him get better.

He’d tried to avoid googling ‘bacterial meningitis’, but he gave up on the second day and scrolled through endless sites, torturing himself with statistics and facts and prognoses. It gave him a newfound respect and empathy for Spencer: he knows these about pretty much everything and has to live with them all the time. He knows his own survival chances very well, can probably recite specific cases and studies and has no escape at all.

Spencer manages to sit up on the third day and Hotch pulls out a portable chess board that Dave had gone out and bought specifically for this moment.

“You play?” Spencer asks sceptically, raising his eyebrows.

“I’ve dabbled,” Hotch replies lightly, a smile playing over his lips as he takes in Spencer’s doubtful but eager expression.

“I’ll probably win in under twenty moves,” Spencer challenges, matching Hotch’s smile.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” Hotch chuckles. “But I’ll put myself through it anyway.”

Spencer stays true to his word and wins in 17 moves, making Hotch throw his hands up and lean back in his chair, smiling at the other man before packing the board back away. Spencer looks miles healthier, the antibiotics clearly starting to do the trick, but he’s still seriously fatigued and shuffles down the bed to lean his head back and relax a bit more, sitting up for a few minutes tiring him out.

Hotch pauses for a moment before deciding to broach the subject. “Spencer,” he starts softly, meeting the man’s hazy gaze, “why didn’t you say anything to us sooner? You clearly had a crashing headache, muscle pain, nausea. You said you felt the fever come on. You could have said something sooner and I would have helped you. Your health should come before a case.”

Spencer closes his eyes in shame for a moment, a blush blooming over his cheeks as he looks back to Hotch. “I’m sorry, I just-- It was a grisly case and I thought that was the most important thing, I guess. I’m no use stuck in a sick bed. I just felt bad making everything about me when in the grand scheme of things, a headache is pretty menial. Felt… isolated, maybe.”

“Oh, Spence,” Hotch says sympathetically, reaching back over to grip Spencer’s hand in both of his. “This is really serious, okay? If we’d left it much later or you hadn’t passed out but continued to suffer in silence, you could have died.” He has to pause for a moment as he chokes on the word. “Missing one case and being better for hundreds more is better than working yourself to the bone on this one and then not being around for anymore, isn’t it? You are so valuable, Spencer. Not just your eidetic memory or IQ, you. Spencer Reid is special and loved and important, and I don’t want you to ever think that a case is more important than you, or that we’ll be annoyed by anything that you need to talk to us about. If you ever feel alone, you come and find me and I’ll do my best to banish that feeling, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Spencer murmurs again. “I guess I just find it hard to believe that people care about me for more than what I can offer them. I never had anyone value me the way you do, and I still struggle to wrap my head around it. I’m sorry for scaring you, but I promise I already feel better. I’m not going anywhere, I promise, Hotch.”

“You’d better not,” he replies, letting himself smile a bit. “I know it’s hard for you to trust us, Spencer, but we’re your family, okay? Any of us would drop anything for you, stubborn little mule.”

Spencer doesn’t correct him this time, opting instead for a wide smile. “Thank you, Aaron,” he whispers intimately. “For being here, I mean. It’s scary on my own and having you next to me makes me feel safe.”

“Good,” Hotch says, smiling at Spencer’s use of his first name. “You’re always safe with me. You should rest now, you’re tired. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

★

Once Spencer’s moved out of the ICU on day five, the team are finally allowed to come and visit him, bringing Penelope, presents and smiles and noise. And reprimands. Many reprimands.

“If you ever put a case above your own damn health again, it won’t be meningitis you have to worry about but Penelope’s wrath, alright Spence?” JJ scolds as she gives him a gentle hug, though her smile betrays her. Penelope is stood at the foot of his bed trying her best to look scary, but like JJ her eyes are far too soft and relief colours her body language. Plus it’s hard to look domineering in a bright orange floral dress and flowers in your hair.

“Sorry, Pen, JJ,” he says sheepishly, looking at each of them apologetically. “Bacterial meningitis will definitely teach you to listen to your body.”

“Well if that’s the only good thing that’s come out of this then so be it,” Penelope says with finality, before she melts away her faux stern look and smiles at him. “Now, we bring you gifts and cookies.”

He opens each of the presents with the wide, open smile he doesn’t let cross his face very often, feeling deeply loved and cherished by his found family. His hospital room is covered in flowers and chocolates and academic books as well as endless gift bags and wrapping paper by the time he’s finished, and although he’s still in a lot of pain and knows he might never fully recover, in this moment he’s the happiest he’s been in a long time.

The doctor tells Spencer and Hotch a week and a day after his admittance that he’s been lucky enough to escape relatively unscathed. “You need to look out for any of the long term effects of bacterial meningitis such as concentration issues, hearing loss, visual disturbances, chronic pain etcetera but our tests seem to suggest you’re in the lucky c50% of survivors who escape without a permanent disability and we’d most likely have caught it by now. You need to take it easy for two weeks, make sure you’re resting and drinking plenty of fluids, and if you feel any symptoms coming back or becoming more severe you need to get to a hospital as soon as possible,” she says, handing him the discharge paperwork.

“Spencer, I think you should come and stay with me for those two weeks, okay? I’ll be there to take care of you and keep you company while you finish recovering. How does that sound?” he asks as Spencer signs the sheet of paper and hands it back to the doctor who smiles at them before turning to leave.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” he asks. “I don’t want to impose on you and Jack.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m offering. Besides, Jack will love having his own personal encyclopedia in the house. He loves you.”

Spencer grins widely at that. “Then that sounds like a plan.”

He sleeps for the majority of the two hour flight home, leaning against Hotch’s shoulder buried under the blanket JJ always carries with her in case anyone gets cold while the older man fills in some paperwork for the case they’d wrapped up a few days prior. The gentle noise of his family chatting around the plane and the comforting smell and feel of his protector surrounding him lull him into a sense of safety and reassurance, resting in the knowledge that his family loves him unconditionally. No matter what happens next, even if a long term condition was going to hit him like a ton of bricks, they weren’t going to leave him, and he was valued. Not for his brain, but because he was Spencer Reid, loved and cherished member of the BAU.

#criminal minds fic #Criminal Minds #criminal minds writing #angst #hotchreid #Spencer Reid #Hurt Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid Whump #my writing

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creaturebehavior · 3 years ago

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at the age where older people still talk down to me sometimes because i am younger than them so they don’t take me seriously, and i’m at the age where teenagers and people in their early 20’s seem so much younger than me and on some whole other plain and it makes it difficult to have a conversation with them in which i feel we’re seeing eye to eye and so i have to fight the urge to talk down to them because i know that’s a shitty feeling.

i wonder if i would feel this way about people who are younger than me if i weren’t born on the cusp of gen z and millennial. maybe everyone who’s in their mid 20’s starts to feel this way, but being born on the cusp of two generations feels confusing. i don’t understand gen z as much as i feel like i should, and i don’t identify with millennials either, although i think i have more knowledge of that generation than the gen z generation because my older brother is a millennial and i grew up exposed to his interests and was an observer to the millennial trends that took place online and even partook in some of those trends as i emulated youtubers and friends who were older than me.

i’m a true zillenial, i was born in november 1995. and i’m existing in that weird grey area where i kind of feel like neither millennial or gen z, which i know a lot of other zillenials relate to. some of us just pick a side but a lot of us are like uhhh i’m kind of neither.

i just don’t really get the kids these days and i certainly can’t hang. and i feel simultaneously old and young. maybe that’s a normal feeling when your 26th birthday is around the corner. also maybe this feeling is especially jarring because i have always been an old soul, and i was forced to grow up quickly because of trauma in my household, and then as is a common result, once i became an adult i didn’t have the tools to be a healthy or mature adult and i was so mentally ill, i began to suffer noticeably from arrested development, as my peers grew more mature. and then i became addicted to drugs which contributed to the arrested development in an even more impactful way, and caused what seemed like age regression oftentimes. but through the journey of cyclical recovery and relapses, as well as just the fact that i was between the ages of 21 and 24 during this time, i started to experience a push-pull of maturing, then what felt like a version of arrested development but to a lesser degree. it was strange, like even during the intervals in which i was in a relapse, i still was learning along the way and getting a grasp on recovery, understanding addiction, understanding myself, understanding the world, understanding my spirituality, understanding others, etc. and growing slowly even during the times i felt like i wasn’t. and then all of the sudden i was 24 and i started to notice a shift within myself and i realized i was somehow more mature than i was before and wiser than i ever expected to be at that young age, just because of all i experienced within the last 3 years. (and not just in terms of addiction, but the other things i had to face as well. notably, deeply healing from a lot of my trauma, and experiencing even more trauma such as the fire and the abusive relationship i was in and got myself out of etc., as well as just having other life experiences i hadn’t had before) and then somehow, i became ready and willing to stay sober and since then i have grown so much as a person and matured so much it’s kind of unbelievable. so what i’m getting at here is that it’s a huge switch to go from arrested development and falling behind, to so quickly not only just catching up to my peers but in some senses passing them by (i’m not referring to my friends here so much as i am referring to other 25 year olds in general). and everyone is different, age doesn’t always mean too much. people mature at different rates and for different reasons or in different ways and have different wisdom around different experiences. i certainly am still very immature in some senses, and in some ways i am very much the average 25 year old, and in other ways you can tell i have an old soul and a surprising amount of wisdom around certain subjects. (i don’t say this to like toot my own horn or whatever, this is feedback i hear often from other people, especially from women who are older than me, so i believe it must be the truth) i mean, i guess at this point i am right on track. 25 is such an odd age. you’re more of an adult and more mature than you’ve ever been before, some people are beginning to take you seriously while other people still look down at you, and you’re still so young and trying to figure things out, smack dab in the middle of your 20’s, but you can tell you are maturing and you can also tell you’re still immature in some aspects. being in your mid 20’s feels like a second adolescence actually. lol

#idek what this post is #just rambling i guess #reflection #or something

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thecrenellations · 4 years ago

Photo

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents: Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?” “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book - I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

#annotating this caused me to look back at so many scenes i will never be over #aaah #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #return of the thief spoilers #rott spoilers #something i #hey #threetoadswaltz #i tagged you because i mentioned you but reading this is not Required #you know it all anyway. ... this time ;)#it was just your exploding comment

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toloveawarlord · 4 years ago

Text

Red Army Princess (Ch. 4)

You can find my masterlist in my bio!

Characters: Eden Bright, Edgar, Kyle, Lancelot, Claudius ft. Shine

Universe: Ikerev Next Gen

Tagging: @plumpblueberry @christmaswarlock @sakura-1819 @stardust-dreamer13 @lady-of-all-cards @hamster-damn

A/N: More of little Eden! This chapter goes a little more into Edgar’s feelings toward being a father! Next chapter will likely be flashback to when he found out about Eden!

“Come now, little one. It’s only going to be worse if you fight me.”

His voice iced and lacking the sweet tone that his age would use when speaking to a child. It rattled the girl shivering beneath the bed. Eden had barely managed to escape his grasp, darting into the nearest room, the empty guest room attached to Lancelot’s personal quarters.

“It seems my nephew has yet to teach you a single thing. I’ll have to remedy that.”

Eden clamped her hand over her mouth, jade eyes wide in terror and locked on the space between the skirt of the bed and the floor. His polished brown loafers came to a stop at the foot, purposefully silent.

He stilled.

If she couldn’t see the shoes, she wouldn’t know the man was still in the room. Quite similar to her father, who could easily sneak up on her or appear without a sound, but it didn’t frighten her as this did.

Claudius shifted, bending down to one knee. His hand snaked under the skirt like slithering through tall grass, preparing to spring on his prey.

The thud of her heart likely giving her away.

Thump. Thump.

Thump.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Growl.

The whole room settled in silence, like time itself had paused.

It hadn’t come from the girl beneath the bed. Certainly not from the proclaimed great uncle. Again, a growl rippled through the room, moving the attention to the door separating the guest and King’s quarters.

“What is your business here, Claudius?” Lancelot’s low voice slicing as swiftly as his sword fell on his enemies.

Claudius retreated as quietly as the wind, abandoning his target for the time being. His empty cordial laugh was short. “I thought I’d spotted a little mouse. That’s all.”

“You must be mistaken. If that’s all, I’ll have to ask you to vacate this room. It’s currently in use by a guest of mine.”

Eden remained where she was, jumping slightly when Shine slinked under to join her. His warm tongue licking excitedly on her face. “Shine, you saved me,” she whispered, scrunching her fingers into his soft fur with a relieved smile.

“You can come out now, Eden. He’s gone.”

At Lancelot’s call, both the child and his pet vacated their hiding spot. Eden cautiously peeking at the doorway for Claudius, but he’d vanished as a grim reaper that hadn’t snatched it’s appointed soul, still lingering in her mind. She startled when Lancelot patted his hand once against her head.

“He’s gone. You don’t need to fear him anymore.” His words not ones he himself believed. Clearly, Claudius was not aware about Eden until this moment, and likely he’d use her to control his nephew.

<< << <<

After the long, arduous task like the one he’d completed, Edgar could nearly forget his secondary responsibility. Returning to headquarters, the only thing on his mind was resuming his duties as the Jack. That is, until a sheepish Kyle caught him in the hallway.

“I’m not saying that I lost Eden, but what I am saying is... I can’t tell you... exactly where she is,” Kyle admitted. He’d gone to give her the evening treatment but upon searching the whole of the building, he’d come up empty.

Something must have frightened her, and like all frightened animals, they typically returned to a familiar space to conceal themselves. Over the last year, he’d worked tirelessly to gain her trust and paid close attention to her habits. “I’ll show you where she likes to hide.”

In his bedroom, a wardrobe and dresser sat beside each other. The space between them was minuscule and if one were not careful in their search, they’d never spot the tiny girl squished in between them. “Eden, come out from there.” Edgar knelt down, waiting for her to run to him as she always did.

But the girl only curled up tighter.

“Did something happen today?”

Kyle scratched his head, mulling over the question. “I think Lance did mention that your uncle stopped by, but I was half asleep so I might have heard him wrong.”

“Claudius was here?” Jade irises flickered back to his daughter. If his uncle knew of Eden’s existence, it wouldn’t be safe for her to remain here in his care. His own soul be damned, but not hers. If she were to be subjected to what he’d been, in her frail condition, she’d certainly die long before Claudius could turn her into his ideal pawn.

Edgar nearly toppled, too lost in his own thoughts to see Eden slip out from her hiding spot and throw herself at him, little arms around his neck. He gently pet her head, debating where to send her that was outside of Claudius’s reach. “Is that man going to take me away?”

“No. I won’t allow that.”

Her small body relaxed, the anxiety subsiding. She’d wound herself up so much that after her breathing treatment, the little girl fell promptly asleep in her father’s arms.

“Kyle, I believe it’s time.”

The doctor fiddled with his machine, sitting on the couch with his legs crossed. This conversation one he’d hoped never to come about. “Her illness isn’t under control. If she isn’t here, I won’t be able to properly treat her.”

He knew that. Of course, he did. “She’s in danger here. The best course of action would be to place her with a loving family. There, at the very least, she could have a normal childhood,” Edgar answered. The transition would be painful for her, but in the end, worth it if only to keep her from Claudius.

Kyle scoffed, rolling his eyes. “If she survives her childhood without me treating her. It’s dangerous for her anywhere now that people are aware of her being your daughter. Here, you can protect her.”

“It’s not that simple. What kind of life am I giving her at an army base?” It would have been easier if he’d never agreed to keep her temporarily. He could have found somewhere, anywhere, to prevent this heartache. “I never intended for her to remain here indefinitely.”

A year had passed so quickly. Kyle spent countless hours working to fight each attack, each illness. Edgar convinced himself that Eden was a wounded animal, tried to keep her at arm’s length, but he couldn’t say that out loud now.

“If you aren’t attached, then why are you still holding her? She fell asleep a while ago. You care for her more than you are willing to admit.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“I disagree. She’s your daughter and she loves you.” He wouldn’t use guilt. Kyle wanted his superior to choose Eden because he wanted to, not out of obligation.

A knock at the door broke the tension in the room. As Kyle left, Alice came in. “I heard you’d come back. Oh, is Eden feeling better?”

“Yes.” He couldn’t sort through his emotions, ones he believed to have buried deep enough to never return. It made little sense. He had no experience in this field. He tended to her as he would the Creeks. The intention always to return her to the normal world, with a family that would care for her.

And yet, his chest ached at the thought.

It was best. Safest. Logical.

“I overheard a little of your quarrel with Kyle. It’s probably none of my business and I haven’t been here long, but even I can see how much you love her.” Alice crossed the room to stand beside him. The little girl sleeping so soundly in his arms.

“Love?” Did he love her? Was she not categorized as a duty he had to fulfill until she was well enough to leave?

Alice smiled softly, reaching out to rub the girl’s back. “She’s yours. You haven’t accepted it, and I’m not quite sure why. She doesn’t need anything special, just you.”

Her words were soothing, even if he couldn’t fathom how a demon like himself could ever be what a child needed. Eden tightened her hold around him, hugging him in her sleep. He’d need to consider much before making a decision.

But tonight, he’d hold her a little longer.

#ikemen revolution #ikerev #edgar bright #ikerev next gen #eden bright #red army princess #he loves her so much #he just doesn't understand those feelings yet

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jawritter · 4 years ago

Text

The Arrangement

Part 12

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Heavy trigger warning!!! Suicide attempt!! Angst, caught in your own head, feelings of abandoment, depression, grief, this one is rough guys.

Word Count: 2377

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

It had been three days since your fight with Jensen.

When he slammed the bedroom door after you had slapped him, he got his keys, walked out the door, and did not come back.

You didn't know where he'd gone.You didn't try to contact him . If the truth were told, you hadn't really moved from your spot in your now cold, and very lonely bed, unless absolutely necessary.

The air around you hung in a deafening silence . Who the hell knew silence could be so loud?

You didn't bother turning on theTV.You hadn't bothered to eat, and only drank a little bit of water. You’dsurvive, it just wasn’t there anymore.

You were too big of a coward to take your own life, though the thought had crossed your mind.

If you were dead, Jensen wouldn't have to be burdened with you anymore. He could go back to what he wanted to do. Not like there would be anyone around to miss you anyway.

Still, you were too big of a coward to 'pull the trigger'. So you just laid there, and prayed for death to find you on it's own. Prayed that you'd drift off to sleep, and never wake up again.

It didn't happen.

Every morning you woke up to a fresh, and even deeper pain; and the realization that Jensen probably wasn't coming home.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, you stared around the room. It was so cold, but you didn't care. It matched how you felt on the inside. You had cried until you didn't have any tears left to cry. Until everything in and around you felt numb.

In most homes, you would walk through the house and see pictures of your wedding day, family, friends; even your parents' home had all those things.

This place had none of that for you and Jensen.

You would see kids toys scattered around in some homes. You and Jensen had no children together, and Danneel had three of his.

This house felt 'lived in'. All your things were there, along with his, but even though it was lived in, it wasn't a home.

It didn't hold the feeling of home the way your parents house had. There were no memories of times with friends, no family dinners, or holidays, nothing.

You had fooled yourself into thinking this marriage with Jensen was a real marriage. Was even stupid enough to let yourself fall in love with him.

Now you were staring reality straight in the face. You had nothing together. You just shared a bed and had sex on occasion.

Getting out of bed, you dragged your way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, you stared at the mirror. You didn't recognize the woman that stood there, staring back at you.

Her eyes almost looked sunk into her skull. She was pale, almost a chalk white color. Her eyes were red and swollen around the eyelids. Her lips were cracked and had been bleeding, probably from lack of food or water. Her hair was an absolute mess.

She looked like a dead person that was to stupid to know they had died. So they were still standing there.

That's what you felt like. You felt like you had died, you weren't really there. You were living, but you weren't alive.

You died the moment he walked out of the door.

Every time you closed your eyes you saw the look on Jensen's face after you had slapped him. Before the guilt could really grip you, the picture of Danneel and him locked at the mouth would flash before your mind, and shot down the guilt.

For a moment anyway.

The eternal war continued to rage on inside of you as you made your way back to the bed, pulling the cold sheets back and crawling in. You closed your eyes and begged whatever God was listening, cause at this point you weren't even sure there was one, to just let you die this time. You couldn't handle another day like this. Another day of crippling heartache, and a loneliness on a scale you could have never imagined existed.

Jensen's POV:

Jensen sat on the back porch of Jared and Gen's house, more than a little drunk. At first when he left the house the day of their fight Jensen had been angrier than he'd ever been in his life. He told her he loved her and she literally slapped him in the face.

That anger quickly turned to hurt.

Rejection wasn't something he was used to. Most women threw themselves at him willingly. That wasn't really it either. What was the real slap in the face was that Y/N didn't trust him, and didn't believe him, not only when he told her he did nothing wrong, but also when he told her that he loved her. That’s the part that hurt the most.

No matter how angry he got, he couldn't deny the feelings he'd come to accept regarding his wife.

He'd picked up the phone, looking down at it, almost willing it to ring. Nothing. So for the hundredth time he called. It rang and rang. Nothing, only voicemail.

Slamming the phone down on the table, pulled at his hair harshly before he downed the rest of the scotch in his hand. He was well on the way to drinking himself into passing out for the third night in a row. It was the only way he could sleep without seeing the hurt look on Y/N’s face when she looked up at him from the kitchen table that day.

Jensen heard Jared pull the chair away from the table he was sitting at, and sit down next to him. He didn't bother looking at him, just continued to stare at the empty dark pool in front of him.

Jared didn't really care for Y/N. He always thought she was just using his friend for his money, but right now, looking at his best friend and watching him literally try to drink himself to death, he wished more than anything she'd call and ask him to come home.

He may not like her, but Jensen obviously loved her, and he didn't like to see him this way.

"Jensen, what if I send Gen over there, check on her, get a feel for things? You can't keep hiding out here drinking man. You gotta fix this."

"I don't want Gen going over there, and making this shit worse. She doesn't know you guys, and the last time she was here you didn't exactly go out of your way to make her feel welcomed." Jensen mumbled, alcohol loosening his tongue to the point he wasn't worried about sparing feelings.

"You’re right, I didn't, and I'm sorry for that. I was just looking out for you, but Jay, man, if you love her that much you're not going to be able to sit here, and drink this mess Danneel has created away. You filed a restraining order, and you have the paperwork to prove it. Go show it to Y/N. Prove to her that it wasn't what it looked like."

Taking a deep breath, Jensen nodded his head. "Okay, yeah I got paperwork now. Maybe she will see I really don't want anything to do with that bitch."

Jensen blinked hard, trying to hold back tears that threatened at the edges of his eyes.

"I can't lose her Jar. I just can't."

Before he could finish the sentence, Jared had reached up and grabbed his friend, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

"Let's get you some coffee, and something to eat so you can sober up.Then you need to go home and make this shit right Jay, for her, but also for yourself."

Your POV:

Day four of Jensen being gone dawned early for you.

You had woken up once again, much to your dismay. Trudging your way to the bathroom you felt utterly numb, everything in you felt numb, from your insides, working it's way out. You had hit your breaking point. Your body craved Jensen's contact like a dying person craved oxygen, and to be honest you were tired of feeling the way you were feeling.

Thoughts rolled through your mind without your consent.

Was he with Danneel? Was he sleeping with her now? Did he just abandon you because he didn’t care about you anymore? Why didn’t he come home? Why is this all happening to you? Why couldn't’ you have just been more like her? Maybe then he would still be here. Maybe then he could have loved you, the way you loved him.

Ever since your parents passed away, there was nothing in this world left for you that loved you. The church had abandoned you, you had no friends, now you didn't even have Jensen. Walking to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom you searched through whatever you could find to numb the pain. There was nothing. Not even a fucking Advil.

How was it possible to hurt so much, yet be so damn numb? It didn’t even make sense.

Staggering back to the bedroom, you began to search through drawers and night stands. Maybe there was something left that would kill this headache stashed somewhere.

Finally you found your prize. A full bottle of adult Motrin. 100 tablets in all, seal not even broken. Looking at the bottle you turn it over in your hands, taking four of them at once.... Then the thought hit you.

'You’re not good enough for Jensen. Do him a favor, down this whole bottle and go back to bed. Then you will be out of his way. No longer a burden, and out of your own miserable existence.'

Standing there just turning the bottle over in your hands, you weighed up your opinions.

Yeah you were way too chicken to literally shoot yourself. This though, this was easy. Just take the pills, go to sleep.

Your heart ached in your chest. You could still hear the sound of your hand connecting with his face, the sound of the door slamming to the bedroom, then the front door. Everything you've been through, this was it. This was your limit. You wanted out. This was the only way.

Grabbing a bottle of water you start taking fistfuls of pills. You don't know how many you finally successfully swallowed, but you finally got it down to only a small amount of pills left in the bottle when you just couldn’t take anymore.

Grabbing his notebook from the bedside table, and a pen you wrote quickly.

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

Sitting it down next to the bed, you crawled back under the covers, and waited for sleep, or death to take you. There was no turning back now, not even if you wanted to. Grabbing your phone you quickly googled a picture of him. He was smiling, happy. It was before he met you. You were doing this for him. He deserved to be free of you. Free to be happy. The last thing you saw before your eyes closed was his beautiful face. That's the way you wanted it....

---------------------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

Jensen wanted to come home last night.Only problem was, he couldn't sober up enough, and he knew coming home to try and make things right between the two of you while drunk wasn't the best idea; so he slept it off and took off for the house as soon as the sun came up. Even though he had a pounding headache, and his stomach was in knots he didn’t care, hangover be damned, he had to make this right between the two of you. He couldn’t take the distance anymore.

His heart hammered in his chest the whole way home.Something deep down inside of him screamed something was very wrong, but he shoved it off, doing all he could to convince himself everything was going to be okay.

Pulling up into the driveway, he saw no lights on inside the house. 'She must still be sleeping.' he thought to himself.

Slowly, he made his way out of the door of the car and up the driveway. No sound was coming from inside the house, no TV, nothing. Which was normal while people slept, but something just didn't sit right in him. Something was wrong.

Slipping his key into the doorknob, he unlocked the door and took a step inside the house, closing the door quietly behind him.

The only light in the house was the light coming through the windows. Still,he could see everything was the same as he left it when he walked out of the front door four days ago. His heart started to hammer in his chest loud enough to pulse through his ears.

Walking through the kitchen, he could still see pots on the stove she had taken out that day to start dinner, empty, and untouched. Walking through the bottom floor she was nowhere to be found.

"God please let her still be here." he said to himself as he started to climb the stairs towards the bedroom.

The silence in the house seemed so thick he could cut it with a knife. Something was wrong. Every fiber of his being was screaming it. His breath was coming in short, quick bursts. Fear gripped him in a way nothing ever had before. Reaching the landing, he opened the door to the master bedroom slowly.

The lights were off in the bedroom, but he could clearly see her figure outlined underneath the covers. For just a moment he took a deep sigh of relief. She was just asleep.

Closing the door quietly, he walked over to the side of the bed. Her back was to him, the covers pulled up over to neck. Standing there looking at her he internally kicked himself for not coming home to her sooner.

Reaching his hand out he brushed the hair away from her face. "Y/N?"

Nothing. She must be really asleep. Putting his hand on her shoulder. He shook her in earnest how. "Y/N... Baby wake up.. We need to talk..."

Nothing...

Something wasn't right.

His heart started to hammer in his chest again. He felt like he was taking his breath through a straw. Shaking hard, he reached over and turned the lamp light on by the bed.

The first thing he saw as the light flooded the room was his notepad open, and her handwriting that was on it.

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

At first his mind couldn't compute... Then it started to sink in. Panic grabbing him tight in his chest as he ripped the covers off her, shaking her hard.

"Y/N! Wake up!! Come on baby, please!!"

Putting his head down by her face he could feel no breath coming from her body.

His heart seized up in his chest, shaking her lifeless body in his arms, screaming inaudibly.

He couldn't take the thought that she was gone. It was all his fault, he left her here, he abandoned her, he was all she had, and she took her own life because of him.

Grabbing his phone from his pocket,his eyes blurred as uncensored tears poured down his face. Every breath seemed to come out as a scream.

"911, what is your emergency?"

Jensen tried to make his voice work, but all that would come out was strangled noises and screams. He held her close to him, desperately trying to wake her up.

"Sir, please calm down.. What is your emergency? I can't help you if you won't calm down.."

Taking a deep breath he was finally able to make his voice work in a noise that wasn't a scream.

"My wife.. Please send help. I can't wake her up. I think she's..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. Throwing the phone down on the ground without hanging up, he pressed her body as close to his as he could, burying his face in her hair, begging her, God, and whoever would listen that she would wake up for him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles series #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen x reader #jensen x you #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #jawritter #x reader inserts #jawritter 1k celebration #the arrangement

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pcprminibigbang · 4 years ago

Text

PCPR Mini Big Bang Fic Claiming Time!

Today’s the daaaaay!

Under the cut, you will find the summaries of the fanfics our Writers have been working on. They have been posted anonymously, labeled only by number.

Artists, go through the summaries carefully and figure out which ones you’d like to work on the most! Please pick three choices and then hop on over to your email to send your fic claiming email to [email protected]! If you are confused as to how this process goes, please check your email inbox for emails Mod has sent concerning the full details on how to claim a fic.

For those not participating in this event, please feel free to read through the summaries as well to get a sneak peek of what our Writers have been working on!

Okay, that’s enough talking from Mod. Here are this event’s fics!!!

FIC #1 : CLAIMED!!!

He shuffles to the door, reaching for his gun just in case before he pulls it open, startling the short man who was waiting on the other side.

"Goddammit, Burger!" Vang0 hisses, leaning a little closer, eyes darting to the sides. "Can I come in?" He asks bluntly, as if they had been talking just a couple minutes ago and this wasn't their first chat in about a week. We're not that codependent.

"Wh- why are you out this late? And with a bag?" He frowns when he sees the uncharacteristic plain green duffle bag hanging from Vang0's shoulder, completely contrasting with the man's clothes, even if this time he went for more subdued colors.

"Let me in and I'll tell you," the blonde retorts as he puts a foot in the corner, ready to push himself inside as soon as Burger gives him room for it.

And Burger can't say no, has never been able to say no to Vang0, so he just rolls to the side and lets Vang0 in before slamming the door closed again.

"Why are you here? Not that I don't appreciate ya visiting, just... it's late and yer carrying a bag," he points out, tilting his head a little. "Y’know you can talk to me, Vang0, right?"

"Y-yeah, that's why I'm here, I-" he pauses, taking a deep breath "I got in trouble, I hacked into something I shouldn't have and I need to lay low for a while"

Vang0 Bang0 messed up, big time, he needs help to get off the radar for a while, and of course that his best friend Burger Chainz would help him, and a road trip seems to be the best way to make him drop from the face of earth until things have quieted down. But the empty roads bring nostalgia and an unearths feelings both of them thought deeply buried. They say that road trips change you, why should that be different in the cyberpunk future?

Vang0 Bang0/Burger Chainz, getting together fic, Teen rating, no ao3 warnings needed, maybe some minor canon violence. It's a slightly introspective fic, more focused on how Burger realizes some stuff and how he deals with it.

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC #2 : CLAIMED!!!

Turtleneck Heathen Today at 8:15 PM …… did u just ping me to ask if i wore heals

Badass Business Bitch Today at 8:16 PM *heels yes i did and do you?

Turtleneck Heathen Today at 8:17 PM not usually?? ill wear em if its like a big thing or w e i guess (Edited) i mean i havnet really had the oprotuntiy to wear em

Badass Business Bitch Today at 8:19 PM are you intentionally misspelling words to make yourself seem cooler to me?? Vang0 I watched you lick a stranger’s nose

Vang0 doesn't remember his birthday. Or his age. Or his interests, his likes, his dislikes, the password to his CollegeBoard account.

(Well, one of those is less important than the others.)

That being said, Burger wants to throw him a birthday party. Dasha is interested, despite herself. A series of assumptions are made, some feelings are hurt, and some lessons are learned.

Ships: Vang0/Dasha/Burger if you squint but pretty much a gen fic

Rating: Probably G, bordering maybe on T for swearing

Sensitive content: Canon-typical amnesia, a little bit of angst, some oblique canon-typical gun mentions, maybe a panic attack later in the fic- I haven't quite decided if that's gonna happen or not yet?

Other info: It's a pretty lighthearted fic focusing on the relationship between the three of them! No AU, pretty much just comedy and fun all the way through. I haven't ironed out all the details of what's going to happen yet, but that's gonna stay pretty consistent- there'll be some angstier/less funny bits here and there, of course, though.

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC #3 : CLAIMED!!!

Vang0 chewed his lip, feeling uneasy.

“What’s up, friend? You’ve got a big ol’ frown on your face.”

Vang0 blushed. “I’m not- I’m just- thinking. I mean, Joltik usually travel with their mother Galvantula, and it’s unusual for them to be seen without one, so these ones might have been separated from their mother.”

Burger frowned. “Well, that ain’t good.”

Vang0 nodded. “And Galvantula can get very angry when separated from their young.”

Burger opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by someone yelling loudly.

“BURGER! Burger, where the fuck are you!?”

Vang0 watched as Burger spun around and started towards the basement door.

“Burger!? Are you down here? There’s a huge fucking-”

“No, don’t come down-”

Burger was cut off as the door flew open, and someone catapulted into the basement.

Vang0 stared, eyes wide.

“Burger,” he said, “why the hell is Dapper Dasha in your house?”

Seven months ago, Vang0 woke up in a half-destroyed laboratory with no memories of his life before that. He's made something of a life for himself fixing people's technology, because he somehow knows how to do that really well.

And Burger Chainz is just another one of his clients. That is, until it turns out Burger's hiding ex-Pokemon Contest star Dapper Dasha in his house - who hasn't been seen in two years and just so happens to be Vang0's role model.

Vang0 definitely isn't freaking the fuck out. And he definitely isn't falling in love with Burger, either.

Vang0 Bang0/Burger Chainz. A Pokémon AU where Burger owns a farm, Dasha is an ex-contest star in hiding, and Vang0 has no clue what's going on. Rating: Teen. Warnings: mentions of blood and violence, nothing explicit

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC #4 : CLAIMED!!!

clink!

Vang0 Bang0 jumped in his seat as the van hit a bump in the road, speeding upon the old, graying highway. The trinkets they had collected over their various traveled crashed and banged, one almost hitting the window. The loud trinkets and music blaring from the car stereo didn’t phase Vang0. They weren’t sure where he was going, but it sure wasn’t home.

Vang0 wasn’t focused on the road, he was focused on something...else. It wasn’t the other cars; there weren’t any. Most people stayed in Night City, so the roads weren’t full a lot, he knew that. But this road doesn't have anything, anything that would ever prove that anyone had ever existed near here. Not even a bottle.

After an eventful drive, Vang0 Bang0 finds themself on a beach with no discernable exits. No stairs, no ladders, not even a boat. Confused, Vang0 comes to terms with what he’s found in Night City, and what they’ve lost along the way. (Also they/he pronoun Vang0 rights)

There are no ships in this fic. I am likely to rate it Teen and Up audiences, since while there is no explicit or intentionally upsetting content, it might get a little sad at times. I’m not 100% sure about the exact direction my fic is going to go, there might be a car crash (not to graphically described, Vang0 is not hurt very badly, since this is [spoilers] a dream or metaphor about Vang0 coming to terms with memory loss). And since it is a dream sequence with no clear exit, this may be an unreality situation.

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: Only minor Artists can claim this fic.

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FIC # 5 : CLAIMED!!!

Upon Burger barging into Dasha’s bedroom and announcing that he got tick- stop screaming Vang0, it’s just me, got tickets to a film festival tonight, are you guys in, Vang0 informed him that they had “a job tonight, Burger, did you even check the zoogle calendar, we’ll go tomorrow or something,” and no, of course Burger hadn’t checked the calendar, that’s Dasha’s job, and sure we can get tickets for tomorrow too but the Winston Rider film is only showing tonight and I thought you guys might be interested -- “Winst- do you mean Winona Ryder?” -- and after about five minutes of schedule comparisons Dasha simply shoved Vang0 out of the bed and declared that she was going to the movie with Burger, Vang0 was finishing their job, and Burger was going to make her some coffee because “it’s too fucking early for this” even though personally, Burger thought 11:00am was a perfectly reasonable time to be awake -- he was probably missing something, or maybe Dasha had just been up late, Vang0 was definitely a blanket hog and Burger knew from experience that sharing a bed with them would be more likely to result in a semi-conscious tug of war than a decent night’s sleep -- so Vang0 got up to do their job and Burger went and made some coffee and Dasha relocated to the couch, where she downed the coffee and some eggs and promptly fell back asleep for another three hours.

Burger loved Dasha, of course he did, he loved spending time with her and he thought she was beautiful and the idea that they might be dating -- might have been dating for a while -- sat warm and comfortable in his chest, but, except, it just was that, he hadn’t realized that how they interacted might be how two people that were dating behaved, he was just hanging out with his friend, he did stuff like this with Vang0 all the ti- -- now wait, wait a second, now hang on just a second --

a.k.a. 5 times Burger missed the point +1 time he caught a clue

Dapper Dasha/Vang0 Bang0/Burger Chainz, Rating: Teen, content warnings for implied violence, drinking, implied sexual content

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: Only adult Artists can claim this fic.

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FIC # 6 : CLAIMED!!!

“What is this? What’s going on? Why am I dressed like I’m straight?” Vang0 hisses, gesturing to everything around him and the wrongness of it all.

“Seriously?” Candella rolls her eyes, unimpressed. “You couldn’t have scheduled your existential work breakdown until after our shift? You don’t see my lesbian ass complaining while I’m on the clock, do you?”

“I—What? Am I speaking another fucking language? You answered none of my questions!”

“Yeah because it’s 9am and the morning rush just ended so I do not have enough energy to indulge just,” Candella gestures at all of Vang0. “whatever is going on with you right now.”

“What’s going on with me right now is that I’ve found myself in a bougie caffeine establishment fever dream that just so happens to have the shittiest store playlist in the history of ever.” Vang0 says, bordering on manic as he looks up at the ancient speaker up in the corner of the shop. “Seriously, what is this terrible song?”

“Hey, Soul Sister by Train.” Candella still, amazingly, does not look alarmed or worried.

Or the one where Vang0 is a barista at Zero and One’s Cafe...except he’s not.

This isn’t his fucking job, this isn’t his fucking life, and it takes a quick look around the horrifyingly low tech coffee shop he’s in and the fact that he’s missing a USB port on his neck to be painfully aware that this isn’t his fucking universe. This is a 2010s over idealistic portrayal of adult mundanity that he and his friends are stuck in and Vang0 has to get them all out of this nightmare before he commits customer service acts of violence.

Bring it on, Coffee Shop AU. Bring. It. On

Dapper Dasha/Vang0 Bang0/Burger Chainz. An absurd existential romantic comedy where the trio somehow get transported into a Coffee Shop AU against their wills. Rating: Teen. Content warnings for slight absurd horror and canon typical violence.

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC # 7 : CLAIMED!!!

“That guy in my english class,” Dasha could hear through the speakers the distinct sound of combat boots stepping on cement. What was Vang0 doing outside at this time, alone? “The one I told you about! Burger-” “The one you’ve been crushing on for months and you’re too much of a coward to ask out?” Dasha already knew everything about this guy, Vang0 saw him on the first day of senior year in his english class and he hadn’t shut up about him ever since. 5’10, large and muscular shoulders, nice to everyone and just dense enough that everytime he said something you would automatically think “wow… thank fuck you’re attractive,” but not in an irritating way, you know? Vang0 exhaled, which Dasha interpreted as a yes. “Well I couldn’t ask him out even if i wanted to,” “Huh?” Dasha could hear the cogs in her own brain turning, trying to process what was being said to her. “Because he’s dating a blonde g-” she heard Vang0 stop on his steps and his tone becoming more dry, “are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Dasha yawned audibly and tried sitting up again. This time she succeeded, “yeah, yeah, I’m listenin’. How did you find out about this and why did you decide to call me at nearly 2 am instead of just waiting until tomorrow?” “I followed them and I saw them talking.” “You’ve lost it.” - Dasha received a call from Vang0 at 1:47 am one saturday night, and everything went downhill from there. They were not friends, she couldn’t understand why Vang0 acted like they were, but they weren’t, because Dasha didn’t have any friends. Except that, when she sees Vang0 struggling, for the first time in 18 years of life she decides that maybe this one idiot is worth getting soft over. And so she helps him bleach his hair over a cup of coffee and a can of Spunky Monkey. Because why the fuck not. - Main pairing is platonic Vang0/Dasha, background ship is Vang0/Burger. The whole story is from Dasha’s POV. Genre is just a very typical teen romance story except that it’s focused more on platonic bonding rather than the actual romance. Vang0 calls Dasha late at night, tells her he wants to bleach his long dark curly hair and cut his bangs after seeing Burger with a blonde girl, and he goes to her place. She helps him do the deed in her bathroom (she’s still elite) as they realize how much they care about each other. Initially inspired by that one scene in Scott Pilgrim where Knives Chau dyes her hair. Rating: general audiences, content warnings: lots of swearing, implied addiction/addiction enabling, shoplifting mention. CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC # 8 : CLAIMED!!!

vang0 officially disappears on march 23rd, 2040. exact time unknown, but whatever conspires that morning takes place before burger wakes up.

if he’s being honest with himself; he’s seen it coming for a little while now. vang0 isn’t the routine type, he’s young and whip smart and drinks so much redbull that the stuff must pump through his veins.

burger’s an old dog. older than vang0 by at least 2 years, he’s sure. he doesn’t have much, and god doesn’t that sound cliche, but he’s stupid and optimistic- and really. he must’ve known somewhere that the kid wouldn’t stay. he’s got a nasty drug habit that burger cant support and a look in his eyes like he wants the world- burger cant even buy him a fake ID.

this happens sometimes, the coming and going. vang0’ll disappear for a week if he’s lucky, a month if he’s not, but never longer than that.

no use crying over spilled milk.

vang0 goes missing, burger velmently pretends nothing is wrong until he doesnt, and dasha has to pick up the pieces.

missing person fic, burger/dasha/vang0 implied, but nothing explicitly mentioned or talked about, drug use mentioned, mature, canon typical violence, kidnapping, and other canon typical shit- it is night city after all lmao, kind of introspective, alot of burger just thinking back on his relationship w vang0 and shit, but there is some plot as well ig

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: None

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FIC # 9: CLAIMED!!!

“Anyway, dude, what’s up? Or did you just come over for a cola because you ran out of your own?”

“Oh, right,” Vang0 says. He is still thinking about the man, and Dasha, and Dasha and that man, and Dasha’s long fingers and Dasha’s hair falling over her face as she purses her lips and blows upwards, her breath scattering strands of brown hair around her sharp cheekbones. “Um, there was something on the forum, I think - I think there’s a thing. For us. Should we call Burger?”

“Oh, Burger’s here,” Dasha says. “Somewhere. Burger!” she yells.

“Burger - but he spent the night?” Vang0 says, brain processing too slow somehow.

Dasha doesn’t respond.

“Did you -”

“Have a threesome?” Dasha asks, in her usual blunt way. Her face is pretty expressionless, eyes severe under the liner and blinking less than a person should, but Vang0 knows her pretty well, he can see the corners of her mouth turning up. That means she thinks something is funny. “I don’t think so. Burg!” she calls over her shoulder. “Did we?”

When Vang0 sees a JumpTrash post about vandalism at a club down town, he figures it will be an easy job for the trio - find out who did it, have Burger intimidate them, done. But things are more complicated than they seem, and the gang ends up drawn into a complex scheme involving the Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss, conspiracies and hit men, and people from their past they thought were long gone. Along the way, they'll have to decide what they want out of this job - and what they want from each other....

This is basically an elaborate CAPER, with a bunch of feelings and shit thrown in. It's a job and then it's a crime story! Its kind of a noir? Can I write a noir? WE"LL FIND OUT. It's gonna be fairly long assuming I can get my act together and put in all i want to put in. Like every good story, it's got plot and whatnot but the plot is just a fulcrum around which to wrap some found family polyamory shit, baby. It's Vang0/Dasha/Burger, duh and it takes them a minute to get there but they'll get there! Its gonna have canon-typical violence, basically - none of the trio die or anything, but other people do, and there's blood. There's gonna be a sex scene because I'm not an AMATEUR. Drug use, too, but mostly in happy fun ways. I haven't fully sussed out some of the flashbacks, but probably some oblique references to past traumas, probably Vang0. Nothing explicit, no reliving events or anything. Also i'm 1000 years old, be warned!

CLAIMING RESTRICTIONS: Only adult Artists can claim this fic.

#polygon #polygon cyberpunk red #pcpr

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radzule · 4 years ago

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If actual criticism is ever discussed then sure, but all we’ve seen is people dissing the new chibi art style (better than the last 2 games), and complaining that the game is the same as D&P despite being a remake.

than you really haven’t actually looked. I see plenty of valid criticism just by existing in the tags of the game on twitter.

(added a keep reading so the post wasnt so long.)

The chibi art style isn’t horrible, but saying it looks better than the last two games is untrue. Even as much as I think Sword and Shield had lackluster graphics, it still looks better than what has been shown to us of the new remakes. I mean comparing the two, it isn't even a contest.

Its almost sad that sword has better graphics than this thing considering which game is supposed to be newer. But atleast these new remakes make me appreciate what we did get in Sword and Shield more than I would have if they actually tried to make a decent looking remake.

“Well I don’t care about graphics in a game as long as its good” Thats totally valid I guess. But the point of making these remakes is to improve upon the original game by adding features and expanding the world of pokemon. Like every other remake that has come out. I mean ORAS looks better than this game and Oras was a 3ds title. I shouldn’t look at the new remakes and feel like its a direct downgrade before even touching it.

Its been forever since a pokemon game has actually looked fantastic. In fact last time I think I could say I remember thinking it looked fantastic was in Black and White. Not to say that i don’t like some games in the 3D era, because I was a huge fan of Sun and Moon and a total Gen 3 simp who loved the remakes. I dont think they should have stayed in 2D and I welcome 3D pokemon as a whole. It just needs to evolve badly. Pokemon was always evolving and changing before, and as of recent the only changes its been making are ones that inhibit player choice or just gimmicks that they don't let become main stays of the series, regardless of if they are liked or not.

I have no doubt that the changes made in these remakes will only be ones to further reduce the choices of players, since every installment up from X and Y has done so.

Its not that people are ungrateful, we’re just disappointed and jealous. Jealous of the fact that we can see other nintendo properties being treated with the love, respect, and time to make their new games absolutely amazing! Only to have our games come out half baked and choppy. Yet when we state our opinion we’re always left being called ungrateful. Just because we want the product that we’re going to spend money on to have value comparable to the rest of the works nintendo produces. Its Ludacris and insane that people will blatantly ignore lies from a multi billion dollar company, and call the people who love pokemon the problem. I mean some of yall will literally say Eat the rich while simping for the pokemon company which like ive already said, makes more money in a year than you will in your life.

Of course it stands to be seen if the gameplay is as horible or if its going to be a direct downgrade thanks to seemingly new mainstays in the series like the forced exp share. I’m afraid not only will these games not graphically enchance the sinnoh experience, but it may also just dumb it down and ruin what made these games loved in the first place.

Honestly I dont like shifting blame somewhere, but you people need to stop encouraging the corporate greed that is making pokemon worse every day. Its not wrong to want to see a franchise you love look good and play good. Have some standards. l if not by normal modern game standards, then maybe the standards that nintendo has shown it can meet.

Of course a lot of the gameplay talks here are yet to be proven, as I could be wrong and they become fully faithful to the original, which still wouldn’t make me want to play this game because it looks worse and if it plays like the original ill just play the original? But until the games come out and I can play them, all of these gameplay talks are up for debate.

#cleo talks #pokemon #pokemon remakes #rant #Anonymous

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irkenheretic · 4 years ago

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okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC.

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots.

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.)

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf.

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers.

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.”

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun!

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters.

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

#*falls over and dies* my poor hands and fingeys #yall better mf read this.....#ill post a fic later today or maybe tomorrow #its being betad rn #take this lol! i finally explain myself #for those of you on mobile i am SO sorry #this is fine to rb in case ur wondering. dk why u would wanna but its chill #anarchisma au #live from conventia #long post

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