#they put me off actually
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when i was little i couldnt grasp/fathom what an autistic person experienced the world like. (read: i was autistic and couldnt put myself in somebody elses shoes). i also had really shitty adults who'd shrug off my question about it with "oh, well, you know. it's in the same grouping as down syndrome and what not!" (its really not but they meant that they both may require special needs) and this did nothing to paint a picture on what it meant to be autistic.
obviously the neurotypical adults around me likely couldn't explain it back then (nor could they accurately do so now) but it feels kinda...vindicating to know/be autistic. to look at that moment in my childhood and go "hah! you silly child! look in the mirror! you ARE autistic!". but also to know that every time they used 'autistic' as an insult...they werent correct?
at least, for me and a lot of my peers, our autistic traits can mirror and mimic so many disorders that neurotypical people experience such as anxiety, depression, and even ADHD (though thats not NT but u get my point!!). whenever they used autism as an insult, they usually meant dumb. stupid. slow. all of the above. "what are you, autistic?" is almost never used in the context of speaking to a person having a panic attack, yet thats how a lot of peoples autism presents itself. and i dont know why... but theres something beyond vindicating about knowing this when my educators and guardians failed to understand it. it's like harboring a little secret that the world just doesn't grasp.
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#actually autism#idk why but i feel like those tags#mmmmm idk#they put me off actually#i might not use them again after this post until i research them#im really pro self dx when it comes to autism bc me getting a dx changed nothing and was BEYOND stressful#and actually autistic feels like it implies that those who dont get a professional dx ARENT actually autistic#and personally idk many people who fake it to the point that we'd need a tag differentiating “us” from “them”#all this to say#alyssa posts#autism#autistic#tw ableist language#ableist language
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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what if i broke all the bones in your legs actually
#ramble#please let this be a fucking joke#i cannot imagine being this out of touch#YEAH IT'S ALMOST LIKE ART TAKES FUCKING EFFORT AND THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DO ENJOY IT ACTUALLY#the phrase 'labour of love' exists for a reason#i sat and watched my grad film on repeat for days when it was done bc i was so proud that my hundreds of hours paid off#I DON'T MAKE ART TO SIT AND LOOK AT IT#I MAKE IT BECAUSE I PUT TIME AND LOVE INTO IT AND I GET TO LOOK AT IT AND BE LIKE I MADE THAT WITH MY HANDS!!! AND MY BRAIN#GOD FORBID YOU PUT A SECOND OF WORK INTO ANYTHING IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE ANYMORE YOU USELESS FUCK????#i'm so sorry i'm unreasonably mad about this#is it crazy for me to say that you should have to do some things in your life?????? god forbid you read your own emails#what are you DOING how fucking LAZY can you be????#and that is NOT a word i ever want to use but this is the DEFINITION of lazy#kids with adhd aren't lazy. tech bros wanting the exact same things that people have worked years for at the push of a button are lazy#i actually need to go and put my face in grass i'm so upset#thankfully. basically every musician who saw this shut it the fuck down and told him he was an idiot so that's nice
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ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU
I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.
like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.)#(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands)#revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN#anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days#mork and grimdy. i-is that anything.#the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes#when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years#(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia)#(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway)#hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series#in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas?#but how does boo boo kitty factor into this
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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ghost horses
GHORSES
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#ask#wei wuxian#a-yuan#What a post to have a-yuan make his PD-MDZS debut on!#You're so right...if WWX were to summon a horse it would be a ghorse (ghost horst).#If he gets to have a ghost girl posse then why not also let him have a stable of beautiful ghost horses?#Yiling Laozu rides into town with his haunted vegetables and ghostly steed and zombie vegetable seller.#Serving a look that they might call 'off-putting' and 'discomforting'. To the *weak*!#WWX probably would let A-yuan pet the Horsies but hear me out: this is for the funny punchline.#To be honest where he lies on the triangle of 'can we get mcdonkcles?' triangle really depends who's asking.#I think he leans more on the 'orders a black coffee for himself and leaves' but with a shit-eating grin for most people.#He seems like a goofy guy who'd love to eat Mack O'donnel in the middle of the night with his friends.#But WWX lives his life with the innate sense to be an agitator. He wouldn't miss the opportunity to pull a prank like that.#I think he'd only actually go to Mick Dick's if Yanli asked#Feel free to disagree of course! He has his layers!
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i’ve been using my brain more than its used to
gonna think about gay mutant road trip hope my brain doesn’t explode
#i’m getting pissesed cause i keep missing words whenever i’m writing#i’m saying the sentence along in my head and my fingers glaze over words for some reason#i only notice the mistakes too late as well#since my brain hurts i’m gonna put that as a hc for charles#he had to keep going through his thesis trying to find the missing words#he gotta suffer with me#crying ughh#need to see cherik hold hands again#now i’m sad cause i remembered we could’ve had charles cradle erik as he died in his arms in dofp#your man is dying charles!#its still sweet the hand hold but 🙁#i need more expression in the hands they were giving me nothing#take the gloves off#gimme the same vibe as the one from god loves man kills#except they actually take eachothers hand#i’m using the last of my energy to ramble in the tags#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#wish does not shut up
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
#adhd#actually adhd#i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment.#1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj#i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me.#edit: pages 80-85#edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction#keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it#if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to#expand someone’s access to a paper like this
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More hex-comedy
#hex-jokes if you will#jayvik#arcane#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#jayce talis#oh mel i'm sorry (iykyk)#i like to believe post canon jayvik are the most off putting weirdos out there#they are ALWAYS together and they both have magical hair#(viktor's hair changes depending on how he's feeling. Jayce's depending#also on how Viktor is feeling)#all of this is canon. To me.#these are so fun to draw they're very silly#i should get post canon viktor some actual clothes. he can use the blanket as a cape
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okay but jjk somnophilia is like
gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru
vs
nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento
vs
geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk imagines#satoru gojo#kento nanami#suguru geto#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#i am NOT a nanami girlie do not start expecting nanami content from me. however he is very funny and i love his contrast with gojo LMAOOO#to be clear gojo would not be bugging you about this unless he'd already confirmed you were into it#gojo is probably off putting for some people here but i frankly think he'd just be that desperate and pleading and thats super hot to me#geto tho. geto's just hilarious#again if you're not into somno just don't read this it aint for u. gojo will sound really pushy and creepy#tw: somnophilia#honestly i think nanami would pass out during/before sex just like geto but a lot of the nanami girlies aren't ready for that#the man is like 27 and he looks 40 AND he looked like this when he was??? 23 or smth??#nanami can definitely go super hard during sex but sometimes he will pass out on your lap while eating you out. man is tired.#lemon#sorry for the excess of tags this is such a short little thing and i kinda like how smol it is so i have to ACTUALLY tag tag it lol
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"the creator said in a reddit thread -" "the official twitter account posted that -" "the actors confirmed in a livestream that -"
i don't care and that's not real to me. put it in the text.
#for fun stuff like 'this character's favorite food is meatballs' im like cool but for worldbuilding and stuff? nah#i do understand some nuance with writers or w/e who were held back by corporate teams on confirming a character is gay or something#and wanting to talk about their hopes and intentions#but this is rly about the opposite with creative teams wanting the points for diversity or plot choices#or world building without putting it in the actual story#esp if its bc they just didn't want to piss off bigots or can't write well#sw giving backstory on the sith fleet situation in a TWEET will always be infamous to me#not st#doctor's log
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House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name
#house md#james wilson#prince's talk tag#finally!!! it's done! this and the house version took almost two weeks to do#first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes#because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well#ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics#and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other#since this is the wilson video ill put his stats here#s1 was 11 times s2 was 18 s3 was 45 s4 was 32 s5 was 41 s6 was 60 s7 was 47 and s8 was 48#in total he says his name 302 times. Mostly refers to him just by House#the only time I've heard him say his first name its when he's being professional or when he's really angry (and that one time he proposed)#and even then it's always the full name not just the first name#the only instance I've seen him use just his first name was on that note he put on House's xmas gift that we see in season 5#and as much as I wanted to put that moment in here he never actually says the contents of the note out loud so i had to leave it out#but what surprised me was he says House's name more than House says his name#especially when the earlier seasons didn't have him say his name as much
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another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.
we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#unique magic posters#drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong#i just want to draw the tallest spikes#lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat#(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that#did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though#don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN#because i do#(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been
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art trade w/ thrak800 on twit - love this fella !
#my art#anthro#furry#illustration#oc#boar#i'm always such a yapper but i can't think of a single thing to say for real#just had some apple slices with melted nutella. that was pretty great#and i got like 7 questions right on university challenge tonight. pretty damn good#oh and i brought a £17 cake reduced down to £6 the other day that was great. sliced that mf up and put it in the freezer#also i went on a walk through the hoarfrost yesterday listening to classical music at dusk and it profoundly changed me not to b pretentiou#this is the perks of life man this is what it's all about.#i'm also going a bit crazy because i NEED to be better at art on god i need to be better or i will sadly pass away#but also it's so hard. but that's the fun part. and also the worst part. this year i will get better i will i will i will#actually one more thing: i've got the most important character ever to show off soon......my magnum opus...#and one more thing: thrak KILLED IT with his side of the trade i'm eating the art he did for my girl ricky with my eyes and my soul#okay there we go i always have something to yap about in the tags. even when i think i don't#also sorry 2 my kofi people who i promised to show art to first but with art trades i simply have to post the art when the other person doe#yes i know literally no-one will care about this but i promised and i have failed....forgive me
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