#they got me forever I fear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

savegrisham · 1 month ago

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some time somewhere, Yelena sees Kate Bishop again

#Happy three years to the Hawkeye MCU series #I’m gonna post a couple of drawings I made to celebrate #it’s been so long but I’m still here #unfortunately #they got me forever I fear #bishova #kate bishop #yelena belova #kate x yelena #yelena x kate #art #✨#reference to Veil

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shabbyshoebox · 3 months ago

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Texting in theory: communication with friends! So fun! Memes! Talk talk talk! ❤️✨

Texting in practice: Oh god I don't have the energy to reply right now, I'm currently in Task Mode not Talk Mode so there is currently no battery allocated for socializing atm. Oh it's been too long, do they think I hate them? If I reply will I have to stay engaged in conversation for a few seconds? Half an hour? How long will this conversation be? When is it okay to step away and do something else? Will they think I hate them if I go too long without responding again? I don't hate them, I love them, I need to figure out how to do this. What tone did they intend this in? How do I ask what tone they meant without coming across as rude? How can I respond in a way that cannot possibly be construed as passive aggressive/rude/dismissive? I want to stay engaged with the task I'm doing, I don't want to go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I really really enjoy it when I'm in the right "Mode" but each notification feels like an obligation. Why does this feel like a chore? I like talking to my friends, why doesn't it feel like talking to my friends? Why do I feel trapped? Why do I avoid people I love? Oftentimes I'm not even "doing" anything when I don't respond, I'm just in "non social" mode. Even if I know I'll enjoy talking once I get started every unopened message feels like a burden. I shouldn't see texts from people I love this way, I should be happy, they want to talk to me and they love me. Why can't I just be normal about this, why can't I stop avoiding every damn thing?

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braceletofteeth · 1 year ago

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he's got the fire and he walks with it

#utsukushii kare #my beautiful man #hira kazunari #kiyoi sou #hira x kiyoi #gifset #*brace's #//#not the first not the second not even the third nor the fourth person to associate hirakiyo to this song #but god am I the most annoying about it #this was made on a whim but I spent the whole night working on the coloring so I hope it doesn't look awful #I also had Hira's spirit hovering over me as a manifestation of my fear of not making Kiyoi justice. wanted to quit gifmaking forever #but now that is done I think it actually looks above my skill level so I'm very happy with the result #also!! especially for this occasion I finally learned how to make gradient text 😃😃#I got confused a few times and it took me an embarrassing length of time but look!! I did it!!#(for the theme of the set itself there is not much I wanna comment except ^*!!:-@*£shxbs@^& what a beautiful man what the hell)

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fierlyamber · 6 months ago

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tonight tpw overthinking session is sponsored by how Rin got shot by lightning in the chapter 34.

we all knew she was insane and deranged by the end, and she realized that too after her connection to the Phoenix was closed by Kitay. she also made her final decision AFTER she got shot by the Hesperian's lightning, she said: "The lightning vanished her divinity, and all that it left behind was utter horror at what she'd nearly done." it made me sick to the stomach because while Rin's circumstance has always been awful and all the betrayals she's been through pushed her to made all those horrible decisions, she might not be that 'insane' if there's no Phoenix wrecking her mind, idk if this is a dumb realization … because I kinda trusted Chaghan in TDR when he said Rin is "the most stable" he's ever seen, and how Kitay had been blocking the "direct" connection to the Phoenix makes me think Rin has been kinda "safe" from the influences but she's not. she got drunk in that power instead, and TBG happened.

#and who's fault was that #it is a man and his name is yin nezha #fuck nezha #nezha was doing all the hits that made rin go insane #never forgive this man #fang runin #chen kitay #tpw #tpw spoiler #the poppy war #the burning god #the dragon republic #I finished tpw a month ago i fear it'll stick with me forever #I think this also show how brilliant R.F. Kuang's writing is bcz Rin' didn't just got “sudden realization” so the story “gets to end”.

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bacchuschucklefuck · 7 months ago

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago

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here together

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #lobotomy corporation spoilers #abram lobcorp #i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up #so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like #i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing #i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container #how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei #downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on #her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it #in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee #to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end #the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment #but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more #to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply #regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you #bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram #the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49 #oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops

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walmartbrandwhatever · 10 days ago

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Rip Marcia you would've loved Grease 😔

#the outsiders #the outsiders musical #the outsiders broadway #marcia the outsiders #marbit #two bit mathews #i fear she would love it so much actually #came out in 78 so she would have probably gone to see it ‼️#i will forever stick by the fact she deep down loved those sappy romance movies #especially grease since it had a soc girl and a greaser boy fall in love #her and two-bit coded #imagine in a universe they never got together but had a fling and she goes to watch that movie only to be hit with the fact thay #of what her and two-bit could've had #it makes me sick #like her sitting in the movies looking up at thw screen wishing to go back in time and live a life wirh him #GUYS IM COOKING #LOUD SIGHH no one talk to me im sick #marbit ilysm #i would love to say i know little to nothing abt grease but im thinking abt it rn

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venleaf · 1 month ago

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When I do a tma fear quiz and end up not getting the spiral ....

or I suppose any of my main alignments

#me when the quiz tells me i have been living a lie #and i start to question myself again #Aka very spiral of me #and now i am in an forever back and forth of questioning who is right and who is not #tma #the magnus archives #the spiral #i got the corruption on my first try and the buried on my second #... LIKE THEY ARE COOL BUT NOT MY CUP OF TEA AMONG FEAR AND OBSESSION #doodle #venleaf art #venleaf ogs #yapping ink

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skunkes · 3 months ago

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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

#talkys #my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading #to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want #to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing #never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it #nothing seems very worth it #im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true #well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's #moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai #delete later #even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions #my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years #and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came #im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that #<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave #and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever #and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l

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bayetea · 27 days ago

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seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest

#“rick made carter be an elvis presley fan that's fucked up!” is a real thing I just read #do you think black people can't enjoy elvis even though he appropriated black culture for personal gain #boy you would not like what I have to tell you about eminem. or kpop. or anything else bc black culture has been #appropriated by like everyone forever. are black people not allowed to enjoy iggy or ariana or billie or [the list goes on]#I myself am not biracial but I /mostly/ like carter and sadie (specifically carter who isn't white-passing) as black representation #the part where carter feels indignant that he has to hold himself to a higher standard because the world is harsher on black boys #did genuinely resonate with me when I first read that part as a child and it still does to this day #can we talk about how rick knows nothing about black hair instead #or how hazel is from the jim crow era and seems to not have one single thought about race in the modern era #or hazel's horror over the amazons keeping slaves but “no they're not slaves they just like it that way 🥰”#my problems with hazel are not at all about stereotypes I just don't buy her as an authentic portrayal of a black girl from the 1930s #don't get me started on beckendorf. does every black character need to die a violent horrible death rick #anyways this isn't intended to make anyone feel bad but we need more meaningful nuance in critiques beyond “hey that's a stereotype! bad!”#if you can't discern and communicate WHY it's bad then you're not saying anything of substance #is it a caricature? is it uninformed/underresearched? are all the characters from that group being represented in that way?#is the stereotype itself a degradation of that group? is it being played for laughs? is the character a one-dimensional stereotype?#what can we glean about the biases of the author/narrative and their worldview through their portrayal of certain groups in the text?#a big part of literary analysis and critique is not only pointing out The Thing. you need to also say something about The Thing #like if you have a black character say they like hiphop then sure it's a “stereotype”. but lots of black people do like hiphop #it's an important part of black american culture and portraying that in media isn't racist by default #and in fact lots of poc keep parts of themselves quiet for fear of being perceived as a “stereotype” when we shouldn't have to do that #BUT if you're doing it like jonah wizard was written in the 39 clues then that's where we've got a problem bc wtf was that rick #that was so racist oh my god I was like 11 years old reading that 😭 and then he had the white mc poke fun at him for being a gangster #and him being a “gangsta” was always played for laughs throughout the story #not being pro-rick here as I'm a big fan of critical riordan reading just being pro-thoughtful critiques because some of you guys actually #sound a wee bit ignorant when saying things like what was mentioned in the first tag #baye.txt #pjo hoo toa #rr crit #<- tagging that just for. well the tags basically

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abernathyvalois · 1 month ago

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Hm

#i miss you #it’s hard to not feel like long distance is a long series of goodbyes #of getting left #i have to remind myself it’s a long series of hellos #of passionate hugs and kisses after weeks apart #i want to see you again #i love you #i don’t know if you love me back #sometimes it feels like you love me in ways i didn’t know i could be loved #other times it feels you don’t love me at all #that you’re getting sick of me #but i know you’re the best girl #you wouldn’t make me feel that way on purpose #i’d like to spend forever with you #in a house with dogs #fill it with love #make you coffee every morning (and night)#bake bread with you #you make me dream of mundanity #and i’ve never dreamt of it before #you make me excited for a future i never thought i could have #i want you all of the time #but it’s okay that i can’t have you all of the time #we don’t have the fear we used to have #when we lived so close #under a blanket of homophobia and fear #we got away!#and now we can see the stars #i can see the stars for the first time because of you #like the blanket was pulled from over my head

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funtheysaid · 6 months ago

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That’s got to be the best, most insane, most satisfying, MOST FASCINATING season finale I’ve ever watched in my life. Holy fuck.

#interview with the vampire #we got loustat reunion #we got devils minion DANIEL IS ARMANDS ONLY FLEDGLING I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS #we got bamf!Louis and by god I will never stop thanking rolin jones for making ldpdl so much more nuanced than he was in the books #and Jacob Anderson you are forever and always my favorite #we got that fucking ending I OWN THE NIGHT !!!!#Claudia’s dress and Paul’s portrait don’t fucking touch me #Armand Armand oh my holy hell you make it so hard to love you #but I do alas I fear I always will #Assad zaman’s puppy eyes my heart #Sam barclay and real Rashid <3 living kings and I want to see them in the talamasca show even if it’s just a cameo #oh oh and the Loumand kiss in front of Lestat AGHDBFFIJRBF #in summation #pearls clutched #socks knocked off #aback taken #smacked gob #all conquered by love #I shall miss you iwtv s2 #til we meet again #pls god don’t smite me before s3 airs

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miodiodavinci · 6 months ago

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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

#mio answers things #anon #i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs #on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with #but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again #(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school #where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works #and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after #they very much directly aligned with mine #but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just #ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj #like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs #i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w #but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf #like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters #i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg #it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve #i simply will not be posting <3333 #(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends #over strangers on the internet #and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w #AH

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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 days ago

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Oughh I hope SO bad u do more evo wanda and pietro, I'm!!! OBESSED

Thank you so much !!!!!!!!!! Theyre my kids i love them sm … i hope to draw them more soon too !!!!!

#snap chats #ESP wanda Its Purely Because Im Biased To Her Fashion but i love her outfit i fear ….#i forever have beef with evo for how little they utilized the magnet family drama #and wanda in general tbh ….. but whatever ……#i already have some silly cute stuff in mind with them cause !!! i need my kids to bond !!!!#i need them to rebuild their relationship 🥺 i need them to be fam ……#AND i need them to kick the shit outta magneto. i still think its insane kurt and rogue got to ditch mystique #but wanda anf pietro got to have a We’re Chill Now end shot at the end of evo like CMON #they shoulda kicked his ass AT LEAST ONCE BU WHATEVER I WILL CEASE MY RANT #i think the movies starting soon anyway … other people are starting to come in …..#anyway ignore the fact i just talked about magneto getting his ass beat cause i brought my lil mags to the movie with me 😔#im forcing him to watch cinema ….

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coffbeanie · 2 months ago

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Will always cry about the fact that I guess polka dot man was only popular with me and like i guess a niche of people on the internet cause I was REALLY hoping that he would get brought into current comics kind of in the way peacemaker was. (though i guess thats an unfair assumption cause peacemaker also had to be brought into comics cause of the show but whatever-)

I loved all the characters but ESPECIALLY with the snippet of backstory we got for him the suicide squad there was so much that could be explored if we took that version of the character and stuck him into modern comics it would have been so cool to see!! Cause I know I’m hella biased towards him (David Dastmalchian my beloved-) but something pretty cool was set up with him but i doubt any mainstream comic book writer is gonna cover it :(((

#like the more time that goes without polka dot man content i live in fear cause what if the suicide squad was his last big hoorah #and we never see him again in a big project :((#dc please bring abner to me #honestly its too late to do it now #cause the movie lowkey came out forever ago #but prequel one shots for each character would have been hella cool #like maybe we see a bit of backstory plus the crime that got them into belle reve #but besides that #would it be too much to ask david dastmalchian to write a polka dot man one shot??#bros already writing stuff for dc can we just get him to do one more pretty please??#coffbeanie thinks!!#polka dot man #abner krill #the suicide squad #dc comics

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crookedghosts · 4 months ago

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I'm not trying to cause any anxiety here but I was kind of there when v*ltron ended and everyone collectively decided to become tdp stans instead and if we don't get s8-10 like.. what's the plan? I'm not a show-watcher really but I loved getting my yearly season of animated fantasy to gobble up in a week and think about for a month and sporadically think about during the year until it was time to do it all over again

#take this lightly I will still be very fond of the show I say this as a 20 year old still talking about the first percy jackson series #but realtalk I haven't written GOOD fanfic for this fandom since I was 14 on wattpad and I fear if I dive in now I'll just be broken foreve #also the yearly seasons got me through some really tough stuff! fuck I can't not have that consistency anymore!#and like genuinely tdp is what got me through voltron ending so let's just consider ME for a second. I've had My Animated Show since 2016 #MY PRETEENS!!#tdp #the dragon prince

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