#they both protecting the same interests
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meangan-thee-lesbian · 2 years ago
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So subsequent to being a robodebt victim I sort of fell into this funk of ‘not only is there no point in trying, but in fact it’s better if I don’t, bc every time I have ever tried to do something good it’s backfired horrifically, so I’m just going to make like a tree and exist, no trying to do anything for myself, just drink some water, get some sunlight, and that is all’. And recently, after a few years of living a tree-like existence, I thought ‘you know, this is illogical, like there is no rational correlation between ‘trying’ and the universe taking a big shit on you, let’s just try again, yeah?’ So I signed up for a one hour a week job and the Australian government took that as an excuse to call up all of my previous employers of the last decade to ask for payslips and as an aside tell them all I’m homeless. Additionally all my online government accounts are being overrun with entirely fake income data from a century ago, not to mention apparently thousands of dollars in superannuation I have never had. And the logical part of me is just like ‘ok cool yeah, obviously they’re mistaken, someone just got their wires crossed, it’ll work out’, but that’s exactly what I told myself the last time a whole bunch of fabricated data was flying around my government accounts bc of robodebt, so I already know what’s coming. In conclusion: irrational belief system confirmed✅
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yujateaandpi · 1 year ago
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hold on I’m going to be emo about Digimon for a moment. The whole essence of the franchise is “my good weird talking dog loves me soooo much and all they want is to live peacefully by my side but when my life is threatened (which is often) they transform into an immensely powerful being just so they can give their life up for mine. And sometimes they do and sometimes they are reborn but other times they do not come back and there is no way to repay or fill their loss. And sometimes I betray them but they will forgive me forever no matter how I mistreat them. And sometimes they forget who I am but they will never stop following me because that love doesn’t go away. All they want is to stay small and get head scritches and snacks but the world gets threatened literally every day so they’re always fighting for me. We live in two different worlds and they can’t always be next to me but they’ll wait. They’ll wait years and even when I’m older and have changed they’ll know who I am. They don’t understand why I’ve changed but in their eyes, I’m still the same child.”
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wistfulwatcher · 6 months ago
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emily prentiss + leaving and coming back for her family
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminalmindsverse#proceduraledit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#cmverseedit#tvedit#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#femalecharacters#bitchys#mine#edit#*#category*#tag meta#forever thinking about emily prentiss as a yoyo falling away from her family and coming back when they tug#and that her motivation for back and forth is the same - it's always about what she thinks is best for her family in that moment#her choice is always to protect them and the fact that she leaves to protect them from HER? that she always sees herself as the problem??#(she ruined matthew she betrayed doyle she killed tsia)#BUT BUT BUT them needing her? hotch asking her to lead reid asking her to fight jj asking her to stay??? she always /always/ comes back#and i find it very interesting that this yoyoing usually runs parallel to her own moral reflection - she left the first time because she#both morally objected to strauss's political game and to protect the team as individuals. she came back in s7 because she wanted something#'clean.' and she considered leaving in s13 and s17 because she had broken her own moral code each time. and that's such a meaty facet#of emily as a character because her priority is ALWAYS her family and protecting them. but what that looks like changes and costs#and is never ever an easy choice for her. emily does what she needs to as a protector but she doesn't let herself off the hook. she thinks#DEEPLY about what she does and whether she's ok with her actions. which sends her toward distancing herself from her family#for their own protection (because she's the problem see above) and the whole cycle starts again!!#(someday i'll rant about how this all ties into her leaving in run - the one time it was about HER but also not - but i'm out of tag space)
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hermitcraftx · 4 months ago
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The problem with a lot of traffic life interpretations in my opinion is they don't understand character foils or don't employ them in their writing. Grian-Martyn and Scar-Ren are genuinely pretty good character foils for a series that is not really scripted or planned out like a book is. I could go on and on about how they parallel each other and the similarities between them. Even the smaller details between the four usually match up
leaving the rant in the tags so I don't have a huge block of text again ueueue
#jamies bad posts#like a simple example grian is an “unwilling” (though we all know thats bs) bodyguard/protector of scar#while martyn is a willing protector of ren#but i was just watching rendogs first episode and he says that his plan is to first go around attempting to trade with everyone#and it just. it STRIKES me how similar scar and ren are#they both have tempers when called for they both go around playing a friend to all and trying to trade#fuck it in the first few minutes of rens episode hes chasing rabbits around the desert#like ren and scar are two sides of the same coin in the context of third life#thats what makes the dogwarts/monopoly mountain arc so INTERESTING#because they both have goals good and bad and when you watch the others povs each side looks so... intimidating. so different#its only when you get really up close you realize theyre the same type of person#like martyn and grian idk just watching them interact is fun. its really fun#the way martyn gave grian a diamond sword in third life to protect him versus grian doing that w etho secret life#i can mostly think of just the little details but like. come ON#GO WATCH THEIR VIDEOS. ITS SO UNCANNY.#ren and scar genuinely drive me insaneee it drives me insaneee#ok like rendog makes a business out of enchanting and do you know what scar goes insane every season afterwards trying to get#the FUCKING enchanting table#if u like watcher lore u also get the yummy fact that grian and martyn were BOTH on evo#like....#the watcher/listener parallels. idk#third life#3rd life#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar
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sysig · 1 month ago
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Caughtcha, gotcha, not letting go ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#The Stanley Parable#Stanley#Silly little leftovers between bigger ideas - it's interesting how most of my ideas for them are comic-style :0#Interaction scripts moreso than just Cute Lads as is my wont haha - though they are also cute#Practice doodles to keep sharp!#And hey they both get their own singular focus and two together! Doubly double nice haha#I think about ''Would you still love me if I was a worm'' perhaps an inordinate amount.... I genuinely really like it haha#Yes it's silly but I'm very moved by it all the same! That one post of love and care really really spoke to me#Of keeping someone you love safe and protected and fed and healthy ''even if'' they had nothing could provide in return#Very similar to the Came Back Wrong post - I love you because You Are not because of what you can Do For Me#Very sappy! Of course I like it! I will turn it silly though hehe I love both!#And also the pun of Wurmple hehehe ♪ To think I almost went with Caterpie or Kakuna! My Gen1 love is too strong smh#Poor Larry haha Kabu quick to reassure! Loves you! ♥#Some Stanley!! I have a few more Guys Who Are Dudes in the barrel to meet up with Larry at some point haha#Stanley had to be first tho - I tagged a meme with Larry as being Stanleycore! Normal but Weird about it#Stanley is Not normal for the record lol but he Is an Office Man so he counts#Hey Stanley why don't you wear a tie to work huh#Floof lads <3 Obviously! Kabu's much easier to draw floofed out lol but that's just 'cause floof is fun and easy to draw#Larry is actually much harder to draw floofed lol - how do his grey streaks fall! Absolute mayhem! Cute nonetheless haha#And ending out with huggles and snuggles and cuddles <3 That pose is much much fun to draw :D#Surrounded but not trapped! Larry's legs pressing in on Kabu's but not forcing him closed and Kabu's hands on Larry's#Hold him there hold him there both sides all the ways around#Larry's really leaned down onto his shoulder if their heads are at matching heights haha#I'm quite pleased ♪ Their faces turned out cute and the pose turned out nice :) S'pretty! :D
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aceattorneyrambles · 4 months ago
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One of my favorite character moments (and the thing that immediately made me love him) for Apollo that I think is so intensely important to understanding him goes way back to Case 2 of Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice.
In that case, Trucy stages a “kidnapping” by using Mr. Hat to distract the court, and when Apollo rushes out into the lobby and sees her safe and sound…
He cries.
He’s so overcome with worry and relief that he cries for a girl he barely knows. A girl who, for all intents and purposes, almost cost him the badge he worked so hard to gain. A girl who focused most of the time they did know each other teasing him and not taking him seriously.
And yet, he cries for her anyway. He sobs, even.
It’s a throwaway moment, likely done for comedic effect, but it really hit me, and Trucy’s immediate earnest response telling Apollo not to cry and then him doubling down with protective rage on her behalf hit it home harder, y’know?
Apollo Justice, at his core, cares. Despite his surly attitude a lot of the time, this is nonetheless a defining trait of his. He cares, so much, and so easily, and we see it firsthand right there as he cries for a near stranger.
(And I also think it’s worth noting that the first time we really, truly see Trucy lower her performance mask and cry herself…it’s to Apollo.)
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spiderman2-99 · 12 days ago
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Let me assign you an affection language.
A Knife Called Grief You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.
[yoinked from iobartach]
#[inch resting]#ooc#dash game#[reminds me of a post I saw about Miguel's infidelity-- I can't find it anymore but basically it boiled down to#his betrayal of Gabriel and Xina being a sort of betrayal of himself. Now the OP was also trying to make sense of the comic's writing as it#also mischaracterized Xina (per their words)‚ but since Miguel knew Xina since they were young and she protected him from bullies‚ and#Miguel grew up shielding Gabriel from their parents‚ his betrayal and subsequent estrangement from them for someone new‚ someone his brothe#loved‚ and also apparently supported Alchemax whereas Xina was much quicker to criticize it‚ can be seen as Miguel trying to shove down the#vulnerable‚ hurt‚ HUMAN side of himself to make way for the idealized version he tries to protect as a corpo snob.#Which is an interesting viewpoint considering post-forcible-genome-splicing‚ comics!Miguel was also desperate to prove his humanity. He see#himself as an abomination‚ a freak. So how do we reconcile this with movie!Miguel‚ who we admittedly don't know much of his mental state#other than he is basically having The Worst Fucking Day Of His Life Constantly due to grief and leading hundreds of Peter Parkers?#I guess in my own characterization‚ Miguel is trying desperately to shut down that vulnerability‚ BE the inhuman juggernaut‚ the leader‚#but at the same time time‚ esp post-BTSV‚ is so ridden by his mistakes and sins and endless list of shortcomings‚ ALONG WITH the grief for#his daughter that he doesn't seem keen to heal from‚ that he's simultaneously trying to REconnect with that. Figure out what and who he is#outside of work‚ outside of Canon Events‚ outside of everything that Miles took and shook upside down. But that's difficult when#you're so determined to shut that down too‚ huh? Spider-Man can't do both. Not this time. Miguel is going to have to learn one day that he#needs to allow himself to FEEL human instead of constantly shutting it down or drowning it out. Maybe then he'll BE human again too.]#[🍻 if you read this far; I fear this was largely incoherent]
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kacievvbbbb · 4 months ago
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As someone that loves ATLA and is recently getting back into the fandom and has also been spending alot of time in the One Piece fandom as off late
Luffy and Aang have a very similar energy that I enjoy. They are just both so precious oh my god 😭. They are so different but they have very similar narrative functions in how they inspire the people around them to embrace silliness and childlike joy.
But also I love the way they move their powers are fun and they love using them. They are constantly using it's ungrained in the way they move Aang loves airbending he's never not jumping around with it and Luffy loves being rubber
Which makes their differences all the more exciting and seeing how that same scale of personality
they both deal with inherited will Aang more literally and directly that Luffy (as of yet) and they interact with that differently. Aang's inherited will is a weight on his shoulders a burden he has to bear while Luffy's is a pleasant surprise to those around, and the source of his desire for freedom. And this comes through in how they interact with the ultimate version of their powers the literal embodiment of these inherited wills. The avatar state and gear 5
The avatar state for Aang represents a destiny he is still to young to bear, it is unpredictable, overwhelming, uncontrollable, it is something to be feared and worried about, it represents a loss of control for him and he struggles to reconcile that kind of destructive power with himself and his values. It scares him, and That’s why it remains lost to him for much of the series till he makes it his own.
Meanwhile for Luffy Gear 5 represents freedom, he is literally being freed from the constraints of reality. It is the culmination of everything he’s ever been. It’s everything we love about luffy turned up to a 100. Gear 5 is silly, goofy, cartoonish, unserious, fun loving, filled with laughter, insanely power and lowkey a little scary. Even tho Luffy is technically transforming into another person (or god) but god it is still him it is everything that has ever embodied him. And Luffy loves to be in it he has so much because as he said it’s him at his freest.
Aang and Luffy have very different character philosophies, priorities and move through the world differently. Aang is very much concern about the people in the general sense while Luffy is very much focused on helping his friends which then spirals to helping the general population, it just so happens that he is very good at making friends
But at their core they are just both fun loving little boys refusing to let their tragedies define them as they and their rag tag group of walking disasters rove the world like criminals, freeing the people from oppression.
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thefandomexpert · 6 months ago
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ok. dawntrail opinions
Overall I enjoyed it! my expectations were met, which is about all i can ask for coming off of the arr-ew epic. I do think they had some issues trying to ‘recapture the vibes’ though. There are several points where things are introduced as direct analogues to things the wol has experienced (provided you’ve done the earlier expansions) when they should have been left as their own, new experiences.
The most obvious of this is Zoraal Ja being stated, in game, to be a Zenos-equivalent. Which he is NOT. Zenos would never think about the consequences of his actions that much, his point is he doesn’t HAVE a reason. he says himself in ew: ‘would you hate me less if I had a good reason?’ that’s zenos. he’s there to make you confront how you view morality in that sense: what’s a ‘good enough’ reason to commit atrocities? if there is a ‘good enough’ reason, what if someone decides the line is somewhere else than you do? Zoraal Ja could have been a neat parallel where he does have a ‘good reason’ for turning to violence, but this, and the other major interesting thing about his character (ie. his relationship to his father and adopted siblings) is completely glossed over, ignored, and unexplored in favor of keeping him just a super strong ‘unknowable’ enemy. he’s a zenos equivalent only if you understand neither characters beyond their very basic plot purpose and it pissed me off they’d make the choice to POINT THAT OUT in a game that’s kind of made a living on making you examine grey morality.
Similarly, the last quarter of the expansion was a direct parallel to the decision we make in late shb and ew regarding the ancients and stopping the ascians. I feel like they felt like too many people were sidestepping the fact that we made a moral choice at The Dying Gasp; ‘they’re already dead/they’ve made villains of themselves.’ In removing the timeline fuckery of elpis and solidifying the shades in the amaurot equivalent, the alexandrian plotline seems to try very hard to corner you on those fronts and impress upon you that while the correct decision is to fight for your right to exist, it is a heavy decision and you Are Destroying Things, other people’s potential futures, in doing so. Again, I think this was well done (having whole areas of pretty assets erased after like 2 questlines in each one? bonkers. props to them.) but it was SO close to the ascian plotline it started to get distracting. like. They have Cahcuia say the ‘remember we once lived’ line. I love her (favorite va of the expac too) but why would you do that. get my grandpas words out your mouth rn. dead serious. This was a time for discussing the difference between permanent, remotely stored ‘memories’ of the departed and the fallible but active task of having the living population remember those they’ve lost, but instead they just. again, ignored the new interesting thing and decided to make sure you remembered the major plot line of the major villains of the past 10 years. like i love my ascians but if you wanted to do that you could have had whatever minor ascian enacted the lightning calamity be around!!! fuck!!!!
anyway the people who think wuk lamat is lyse 2 are just straight up wrong tho. They are NOT parallels they have the exact opposite character arc What are you Smoking
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expectiations · 2 months ago
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You should totally talk about River’s ‘The Doctor does not and has never loved me’ speech and emotional impermanence!
I’ve thought about it before, and to me it’s always seemed like it stemmed from a very relatable ‘I’m not good enough for the Doctor’ mentality?
Finally had enough breathing space to have a bit of a chat about these two. I have already yapped about my thoughts on that speech, but the more I learn about emotional permanence (or the lack of it), the more I see it in River. It's not a widely known concept I think, especially within the fandom. It may not have been in Moffat's mind when he wrote THORS but it still makes sense. Anyways, I hope I answered your ask adequately below!
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River’s "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech reflects a moment of raw pain and emotional impermanence. It happens during a period of profound grief following the loss of her parents and a period of separation from the Doctor. Her words aren’t grounded in reality but in her state of mind—a mix of grief, emotional impermanence, and the effects of a miscommunication fueled by their nonlinear timelines.
River’s feelings of inadequacy aren’t caused mainly by the Doctor’s actions. He is openly affectionate, both verbally and physically. Their love is steady and enduring. However, River’s emotional impermanence makes it hard for her to hold onto that sense of being loved when the Doctor isn’t physically present. When he’s around, his love feels undeniable. When he isn’t, her mind fills the gaps with self-doubt: If he’s not here, does he still love me?
This emotional impermanence is amplified by their out-of-sync relationship. The Doctor’s absences, combined with the grief of losing her parents, make it harder for River to believe she’s enough. This isn’t about the reality of their love but how her emotional state distorts her perception of it.
By the time River delivers her speech, it’s clear a massive misunderstanding has occurred. Both are grieving Amy and Rory, but their coping methods clash. River suggests going to Darillium, perhaps as a way to reconnect and process their loss together. The Doctor refuses—not because he doesn’t care, but because he fears Darillium marks the end of their time together. His attempt to protect her only drives her away.
For River, his refusal may have felt like rejection. Emotional impermanence convinces her that his pushing her away reflects how he feels about her. In reality, the Doctor’s love hasn’t wavered—his absence stems from his fear of losing her. This miscommunication leaves them both isolated in their grief.
The Doctor’s reaction to the row is evident in The Snowmen, where he retreats into isolation, believing his time with River has ended. He searches for her to make amends but never finds her, yet upon seeing her data ghost, he is convinced their time is over. River, meanwhile, is left to process their fight on her own. By the time we see her in The Husbands of River Song, it’s clear the wound hasn’t healed.
River’s strength lies in her ability to keep functioning, even while carrying deep emotional wounds. She can compartmentalize her pain, locking it away to continue living her life. But her "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech is a moment where those walls break down. It reveals how much the row, their separation, and her emotional impermanence have affected her. It’s not a reflection of reality, but a cry of pain from someone who feels disconnected from the person she loves most.
River’s speech isn’t about a lack of love from the Doctor—it’s about the intersection of her grief, emotional impermanence, and their miscommunication. Their love is not fleeting or weak. It’s enduring, as evidenced by their reconciliation at Darillium. The speech reflects River’s humanity: beneath her larger-than-life confidence is someone who experiences self-doubt, pain, and longing like anyone else. Their relationship, with all its complications, remains a testament to their deep love and commitment.
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What’s a canon warrior cat couple that the fandom loves but you personally dislike/could never get into?
this is actually a really interesting question since i feel like the fandom dislikes... MOST of the canon couples LMAO or are very split on them, and the ones people DO like (cloudtail x brightheart, firestar x sandstorm, etc) i usually also like lol
i don't know if the fandom LOVES tree x violetshine, but i've never seen anyone really dislike the ship either and i... i don't like the ship lmao, like at all, like they're kind of cute in the broken code and if that had been the only thing i had read about them then i'd probably like it, but...
i don't really care about tree as a character, just in general, for some reason i just cannot get myself to care about him, like he SHOULD be interesting and neat, but for some reason i find him not BORING, but uninteresting, maybe BECAUSE of how uninterested HE is in the clans, it's only when he's actually invested in anyone or anything (like how he was invested in helping and protecting his son and family in tbc) that i become more interested in him
but more than that though... him getting with violetshine just feels really forced and... weird... like tree was an ADULT who met her MOTHER while she was pregnant with her and pebbleshine was like "i feel like our destinies are intertwined" and it's like, yeah, he's gonna help your unborn daughters see you and then marry one of them, he also helped needletail, essentially violetshine's foster/adopted mother/sister, when she was an apprentice and he was AN ADULT
like, we don't know how much older he is than her exactly, but i think when tree's roots came out i was able to estimate that he was probably roughly about the same age as pebbleshine was when they met, which pebbleshine was very young when she had her kits, probably only like less than a year and a half or around that age, which normally that age gap wouldn't really be that weird or bad, ESPECIALLY since they technically met when they were adults, but the fact that tree was just so... involved and intertwined with violetshine's mother and foster/adopted mother/sister and then he was like "oh i am in love with the child of the mother i helped keep safe before she gave birth to said child" is so
WEIRD to me??
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frenchy-and-the-sea · 4 months ago
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There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.
#hush frenchy#we went to the coffin shop today in vallaki#and our rogue triggered combat SIMPLY because he didn't want to leave the house without looting every single room#to clarify: WE HAD ACHIEVED OUR OBJECTIVE#we literally just needed to get out#but the rogue's player was like cmoooon its no fun to leave without looting everything we can get our hands on#now everything we're doing has gone to absolute shit#and to clarify: its going to be very interesting!!#and I feel like I would've been just fine with the result#IF it had been for any other reason besides that this one player seems to think that we're in a video game#like if there had been some kind of character motivation? or genuine concern that we were missing a piece of something we were looking for?#totally fine!! love that in fact!!#but just stealing shit because 'you're the rogue' feels... idk.#it just feels like it's a totally different game than the rest of us are playing#and now we ALL have to deal with the consequences#i just. urgh. i do not know what to do#i am gonna talk to the dm and see if she noticed the same thing as me#and try to brainstorm we the players can do to impart a sense of balance for people with different play styles#but i just feel like despite repeated efforts by the dm to be like hey this is a game for exploration and character engagement#the player is just ignoring that and doing Whatever He Feels Like#ANYWAY SORRY RANT OVER#I'm just really in love with this game and having one really thorny part is just HNG#positive note: the wizard whipped out alter self and thought he was the coolest guy in the whole world#despite repeatedly missing in combat#it was very cute and i wish Wyn wasn't absolutely certain that she was about to die#because she would absolutely stroke his ego about it simply to see him preen#the fighter was also very sweet and keeps working so hard to protect wyn#and since I'm a fighter in my other game i know where to put myself to make it easier for him so there's a lot of synergy#IT'S JUST VERY CUTE AND NICE AND GOOD. I LOVE THEM BOTH A LOT
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 8 months ago
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yuta and suguru are my favorite jjk characters…i think i have a type
YOU DOOOOOOO YOU DO!!!!!!!! i’m also weak to men defined by their overwhelming devotion don’t worry anon 🫂🫂🫂 this is a safe space!!!!!
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rotisseries · 2 years ago
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chapters 51 and 58 of bloodmarked are absolutely CARRYING bree/nick/selwyn polyamory truthers
#selwyn is kind of a stupid name I realized as I was typing this. like I've gotten used to it over 2 books but it's so silly. selwyn#anyway. me disappearing for days and only showing up for like 30 minutes to reblog 3 things#and make a nigh incomprehensible post letting you guys know what book I'm reading now (read. I finished it yesterday actually.#now I'm rereading legendborn bc I'm apparently not ready to move on to a new book and also I forgot most of the shit from that book)#anyway I've been on the polyamory train for these 3 since I read legendborn in 2020 but I swear it's only gotten stronger#like what do you MEAN selwyn (magically oathed to protect nick) FEELS SAFER with nick around#THE SAME WAY BREE DOES. AND BOTH SELWYN AND NICK LIKE. AGREE ON HOW MUCH THEY LOVE BREE. AND THERE'S NO WEIRD JEALOUSY ABOUT IT#AND SELWYN CANONICALLY WAS AT ONE POINT IN LOVE WITH NICK????#AND NICK LITERALLY SAYS TO SEL “I CAN'T LOSE YOU AND I WON'T LOSE HER”????#LIKE?????#THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS YOUR STANDARD ASS LOVE TRIANGLE IT'S GOTTA BE AT LEAST A LITTLE POLYAMORUS#IF NOT A FULL TRIANGLE BREE SHOULD AT *LEAST* GET 2 BOYFRIENDS. SHE DESERVES IT#even if it does end up a standard love triangle though this is honestly a genuinely good one#like I genuinely like both love interests neither of them are weird or annoying or creepy about her#anyway. need book 3 out as soon as possible I swear to god I almost can't see how this ends in monogamy#I'm talking about the legendborn series by tracy deonn btw everyone#another arthurian inspired book series which if you saw my other post the other day I swear this isn't intentional#legendborn#bloodmarked#the legendborn cycle#tracy deonn#bree matthews#nick davis#selwyn kane
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sysig · 3 days ago
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Physical media is forever (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#I'm trying to remember the last time I made a fandom vent rather than my sona.... Probably Vargas-something#*continues to project onto Max* He really is just like me fr#Probably pretty obvious what this is in reference to - turned a bit more malicious and intentional here#Something something it's easier to be angry at a source of intention than to be sad about coincidental bad luck#I'm not about to be thankful for a bad thing happening but the fallout thereof Is interesting in its own right#Like how this probably wouldn't have crossed my mind elsewise - nor would I have started and finished it all in one big sprint#Not much else I could do except get some of the feelings Out#Ft. some of the thoughts I had - self arguments to try to minimize(?) the hurt#Especially of just recreating it since so much of it was my thoughts - Max's dreams are just his subconscious right? Haha#But when you build something over the course of years there's these subtle builds that divorce Then from Now#Not to mention whatever stimuli at the time - if Max's life coincided with specific dreams and both are never repeated#One thing that I think about a lot - ironically haha - is that you only get to experience A Thing for the first time Once#You are then forever changed even if just in some small way - an action that can never be unactioned#Even otherwise recreating the perfect set of circumstances just won't produce the same outcome#It all threads into my thoughts on Legacy as well - if what we leave behind ceases to be - if our butterfly wings are blown out#It could happen at any point - posthumously or while we're still here - and how much does that change in the long run?#It's an interestingly depressing thought haha#It's also part of why I double down on art so so so much - a language that cuts to the core of me#Every picture worth 1000 words - hopefully enough to make up for however many lost (I did a rough estimate and it would've been ~380k)#Somewhere in there are the feelings that lost their voice - were big and loud enough to immortalize in graphite on paper#Scanned and uploaded and maybe even downloaded elsewhere in the world - preserved fourfold in a way a single file on a single computer isn't#Even if one is destroyed it's somewhere else; the danger of only having one copy a kind of trust in program or physicality but no guarantee#Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts - also part of why I tag to tag limit so often I want them saved somewhere outside myself#Seems silly to talk about the art too but I have thoughts there as well haha - like of Madame Vyer asking for Dex's lighter#Dex holding Max back - to protect him from the damage while forcing him to confront it cruelty cruelty
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eggtqrt · 11 months ago
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the thing about the charming siblings is i want to make them tragic. you're perfect, I wish I was perfect. you're allowed to not be perfect. I resent you for being perfect. I hate you for being imperfect. I want to be a boy. I want to be a knight. I want to be you. I could be better than you. I wish your destiny was mine. I wish people loved me the way they love you. I wish she loved me the way she loves you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I love you. I miss when we were friends. we never talk anymore. do you even care? you know nothing about me. you took my destiny. who am I? I'm supposed to be the responsible one. don't leave me. get away from me. when did you grow out of being a little kid? i miss home. the only place that feels like home is you. do you love her? do you love me? brother. sister. i was supposed to protect you. I'm sorry. I forgive you. nothing will ever be the same again.
it's about perfection and performance. it's about playing roles. everyone has their role to play. what if i want to be something else, something more. it's about femininity and masculinity. it's about not fitting in to either. is it about who you're supposed to be or who you want to be? I did it for you. I didn't ask for that. I'd burn the world for you. you never cared about me. I think of you always. there isn't room enough for all of us. i wish you'd never been born at all. I couldn't live without you.
#the thing about dexter and darling is they have a lot of parallels#they both thought their love interests (raven and apple) liked daring#they both wish they were like daring (though in different ways)#neither of them have a confirmed destiny#but at the same time dexter gets to be a prince and do the things she wants to do#and i think Dexter is sort of jealous of her because as another prince he gets compared to daring more#Dexter resents his siblings for being seemingly perfect and he also resents darling for how she doesnt even have to be perfect#bc she doesnt get compared to daring in his eyes#darling does feel the need to be perfect though and resents that she can't live the life she wants but her brothers get that life#daring TO ME has a superiority complex to cover up his flaws bc hes severely scared of being imperfect#but at the same time he wishes he was allowed to be imperfect bc the pressure is killing him#hes relied on false bravado for so long that he doesn't know who is without that especially when he loses his destiny#so he resents darling for her effortless confidence in who she is#i think they all used to be super close and daring felt like the one who needed to protect his siblings#but they grew apart as they got older and started to resent each other and he lost that protective instinct#but they all miss when they were closer#i think daring realizes he was “supposed” be the one protecting his siblings once darling starts protecting/saving him#to darling its too late for him to protect her bc she can protect herself and doesnt want to be protected#to dexter though i think a part of him wishes daring stood up for and protected him more#they all desperately need to be flawless but its killing them#and they all desperately want to be each other#and they all just want their siblings back#but they can't go back to when they were children#and they can't understand each other as they are now#but they love each other anyways#even as they resent each other#eah#ever after high#ignore that i wrote 50 million more things in the tags#i realize this may be out of character or whatever but idc
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