#there's a reason you train dogs when they're still puppies
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parents: stop getting mad at your child's teacher for your child's behavior. They are there to teach your kids how to read and math and science. YOU are responsible for teaching your child manners and how to be a pleasant human being that other people want to be around.
#parents#teaching#school#home#their grades may be the teacher's fault(?)#but their behavior is your fault#when you teach your kids that they're perfect little angels and everyone else was born to serve them#problems arise#stfu#they're not special enough to cause trouble in a public setting and get away with it.#you're the reason good teachers quit their jobs#actually#their grades are their own fault#the teachers can't give them whatever grade they want just because#the may only be 10 years old#but that doesn't excuse them from studying#you don't have to be an adult to be a decent human being#there's a reason you train dogs when they're still puppies#teach your children#TEACH YOUR CHILDREN
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My cat butted up against my hand and it reminded me of when my childhood cat was starting to go senile and my mom suggested we just have her put down because she doesn't really matter once she's lost it and that she never cared about me besides being a hand that provides food (even though I was the only person in the family she was comfortable around after she'd gone totally feral out of age-induced confusion). My mom never liked that cat, even though she was a really good cat. It's not her fault she got old and couldn't remember shit. To me, that's when she needed the most care. To my mom, she deserved to be locked in the basement for the last two years of her life. And, because my mom seldom let her out and I was both in college and working full time and could only release her for a few hours daily, the basement ended up being where she felt safe, and she would only leave if I picked her up and moved her out. Which is so sad. Imagine treating a dying animal that way.
#but she's also one of those people who gets sick of animals like so fast#it's a wonder she let me keep my dog back when i got her#i probably threatened to kick the shit out of her if she got rid of my dog or something#which i know is like a 'thats something only white people do' kind of statement but no. it's because she's a sack of shit#you couldn't pay me to respect my mom#she could have me at gunpoint saying to respect her and I'd still call her a bad mom#i don't respect authority without reason and i don't respect people with the idea that having kids elevates them to being unable to do wrong#but she'd do the same with my dog when she was a puppy. locked in the basement.#shd built a cage and everything#and she'd stick my brand new like 6week old dog in this cage for 15 hours a day#and she'd hit her and scream at her#like yeah. puppies are difficult dude. they're noisy and the shit on the kitchen floor. it sucks.#and because of how my mom treated my dog when i was younger she was scared of all loud noises for the longest time#it was only after i moved out for the first time (when she was like 4) that it got better#only after my mom was out of the equation was i able to convince her that ceiling fans and bikes and cars weren't the enemy#it's a wonder she's lived this long with how bad i saw my mom slap her sometimes#or she'd just let her outside on her own hoping she'd run away and/or into traffic#and she's had like 25 dogs in the past 20 years too#and you know what happens?#she finds purebred dogs for cheap keeps them until she thinks they're no longer cute then sells them#in the meantime they're caged all day. she will not train them and demands i do because my dog is well trained.#she doesn't feed them so they don't shit in the cage#she doesn't give them water so they don't piss everywhere#every single dog she's ever owned has eaten its own shit because they're starving#they drink their own piss#the last time she got a dog he was 8 months old and didn't know basics like 'sit'#the whole family went on vacation for 2 weeks and i had him housebroken and he knew like 10 commands#they come back and for some reason she just sticks him right back in the cage and he lost it all#i trained him hoping she'd actually keep a dog for once. nope. she literally did not care.#i did the thing she asked because i was annoyed that she left me in charge of an untrained dog and it still wasn't enough
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Crowley's behaviour in S01xE02 is that of an extremely conflicted demon. He had been in love with Aziraphale for a very long time and though he had never outright expressed it, he tended to wear it pretty openly on his sleeve when it was just the two of them. Then bam, everything starts going to hell in a handbasket, literally:
So he immediately meets up with Aziraphale and makes a plan to stop it and as soon as they plan to work together, Crowley starts to feel optimistic:
Then they spend the next eleven years trying to stop the apocalypse and for a little way they may start to think that it's all going to be okay but then they realize.
So then it's time to switch gears. Things are becoming more dire and he's starting to lose hope so when he and Aziraphale head to Tadfield, he's already switching into his most cantankerous version of himself, knowing that every moment he wasn't uniquely focused on preventing the apocalypse could be catastrophic. He tries to build up an emotional wall between him and Aziraphale and he fails almost right away. At the first sign of Aziraphale's classically trained puppy dog eyes, his resolve cracks.
After he's reminded of Aziraphale's loyalties to heaven, i.e. 'weight to a moral argument,' he tries to double down by giving the humans real guns, yet he still can't bring himself to lie when Aziraphale asks him if they're killing each other. And when Aziraphale points out Crowley's privately good heart, the demon thinks, "This is my chance. Gotta really sell it." So, he does this little number.
He bares his teeth and snarls about how very not nice he is while uncharacteristically behaving in what would typically be seen in a violent manner.
And it doesn't work. Aziraphale sees him growling and hissing and all he's aware of is their contact. He still looks at Crowley like he's kind... He's still looking at him like he might just smile if Crowley ever had the nerve to tell him that he means, not just the world, but also the universe to him.
He tries throughout the rest of the episode to maintain his facade of angst and indifference but after this, it's half-hearted at best. There's a subtle nod to it all right before Anathema hits the Bentley.
It's been suggested that demons are incapable of detecting love as a palpable emotion but it's the specific wording that denotes something deeper.
Why wouldn't it feel out of the ordinary if you were surrounded by love suddenly? Well, maybe if that's something that you experienced all the time in certain company.
Then comes the biggest revelation of them all! His hot and cold attitude, the shoving, the vehement denial of his kindness towards both Aziraphale and humans. It's all for a reason. This is the one folks.
His love, in his eyes, is dangerous to the cause. There's too much at stake and he's so emotionally volatile at the idea of never being able to, uninterrupted, be with this creature he loves that he's terrified to give into it for even a moment, lest that moment be just what Heaven and Hell need to take it all away from him for good. To take Aziraphale from him.
It doesn't work, in the end. In fact, at the end of the episode, Aziraphale actually is the one who manages to hold him at arm's length, and in both the book and the series, it's made obvious that the whole 'tickety-boo' interaction leaves him feeling very lonely. In the next episode, he bares it all anyway when he asks Aziraphale to run away from it all with him, the first of many times. He tried to pretend and push his Angel away but the real Crowley couldn't help but shine through.
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens 2#aziraphale x crowley#good omens crowley#crowley good omens#michael sheen#david tennant#good omens meta#abel writes meta
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The 10 Reasons Why Puppies Are Secretly Running the World (And Why We Should Let Them)
Let’s be honest—puppies are the true masterminds behind global affairs, and we're all just too distracted by their fluffy cuteness to notice. But what if I told you that behind those innocent eyes is a grand scheme to dominate our lives, one belly rub at a time? Here’s the hard-hitting truth you didn’t know you needed.
1. Puppy Eyes Are a Form of Mind Control
When puppies give you those big, soulful eyes, it’s not just adorable—it’s powerful. That look is their way of bending you to their will. "Oh, you wanted to binge-watch your favorite show? Not anymore. You’re now committed to three hours of fetch."
2. Puppies Are Training Us, Not the Other Way Around
We all think we’re teaching puppies basic commands like "sit" or "stay," but who’s really learning here? Let’s face it—you’re the one who’s been trained to dish out treats every time they do something mildly cute.
3. They’ve Perfected the Art of Distraction
If you think about it, every time something big happens in the world, a puppy video goes viral. Coincidence? I think not. Those little fluffballs are out there working overtime to keep us mesmerized while they pull the strings behind the scenes. Suddenly, all our world’s problems seem a little less pressing when you’re watching a puppy struggling to climb the stairs.
4. Puppy Cuteness Is a Form of Currency
Forget dollars and bitcoin—the real valuable asset is a puppy's cuteness. It’s like they have a never-ending supply of adorability that we just keep investing in. Think about how many times you’ve bartered your time and dignity just to pet a puppy. Now multiply that by the number of humans who’ve done the same. That’s a lot of transactions.
5. Sleep Is for the Weak—Or So Puppies Tell Us
Puppies operate on their own sleep schedule, and if you happen to live with one, guess what? You do too now. They’ll have you up at 3 a.m. for an emergency potty break and then decide 7 a.m. is the perfect time to chew on your favorite shoes. They're slowly breaking down our resistance, one interrupted REM cycle at a time.
6. Puppies Can Get Away with Anything
Let’s be real: if you tracked muddy paw prints across the carpet, you'd get yelled at. If a puppy does it, you’ll probably just say something like, “Oh, you’re such a little rascal, aren’t you?” They’ve figured out how to bypass consequences entirely. This is a skill that even top politicians have yet to master.
7. Puppy Barking Is Basically Free Speech
When a puppy barks, it doesn’t matter what they’re saying—it’s automatically important. They could be barking at a leaf, a shadow, or nothing at all, and you’ll still respond like it’s a matter of national security. “What is it, buddy? What do you see?” Congratulations, you’ve just been manipulated into giving a full reconnaissance briefing to a creature who thinks its reflection is another dog.
8. The Conspiracy of "Puppy Breath"
There’s no logical explanation for why puppy breath smells the way it does. It’s like a magical potion designed to render us powerless. You can’t say no to a puppy when it gives you that breathy little lick on your cheek. It’s probably laced with some form of hypnotic agent. We’ll never know.
9. They’re Slowly Reducing Our Productivity
Puppies have mastered the art of looking so cute that you forget what you were doing in the first place. You sit down to work, but then you glance over and see your puppy sleeping in a cute little ball. An hour later, you’re still watching it twitch in its sleep, and your deadlines are nothing but a distant memory. Puppies: 1, Productivity: 0.
10. World Domination Through Social Media
Puppies are the real influencers, and we’re all just living in their world. The moment a puppy appears in a photo or video, it automatically gets 1,000 more likes than anything else you’ve ever posted. They’ve figured out how to monopolize our social media feeds, making us willingly share their images and videos with the rest of the world. It’s only a matter of time before the internet is 100% puppy content, and honestly, we’re okay with it.
In Conclusion: Let the Puppies Win
At this point, it’s clear that puppies are already running the world—they’re just doing it in a way that makes us think we’re still in charge. And you know what? Maybe that's for the best. After all, a world full of belly rubs, spontaneous naps, and unconditional love doesn’t sound too bad. So go ahead, let the puppies take over. Maybe world peace is just a puppy cuddle away.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a puppy video I need to watch for, uh, research purposes.
#dogs#pets#cute#puppies#adorable#world domination#too cute#funny#comedy#humour#writing humor#funny stuff#funny post#hilarious#true#🤣#🐕#🐕dogs#🐕 humor
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I'm trying to make myself feel better by imagining fluffy scenarios. Maybe someone else needs them too?
• Angeal is feeling under the weather and unfortunately can't cook, so Sephiroth, Zack and Genesis join forces to cook him his favorite dish. It's not one any of them are particularly fond of, but the smile on Angeal's face is enough for all of them.
• Genesis's hair is finally long enough to play with, so Sephiroth takes his time brushing the tangles out of his hair and tying it up for him.
• Angeal had a golden star sticker in his pocket one day that he had gotten in a magazine and had nowhere to put. After his training session with Zack, he stuck it onto Zack's uniform for laughs. He notices Zack still has the sticker the following day, and keeps bragging about it to anyone who will listen. He's so happy. Angeal goes out and buys a full sticker sheet. He frequently sticks them all over Zack's uniform, sometimes for the most random reasons too. Zack has received golden stars simply for being himself.
• Angeal and Genesis waiting for Sephiroth outside Hojo's lab. They're ready to take him in either arms and guide him back to his apartment to take care of him. Sephiroth is surprised and in disbelief the first time this happens. It eventually becomes routine, with Zack and even Cloud eventually joining in on it.
• Zack gets cold during a meeting. The AC temperature is lower than he's comfortable with. He doesn't want to say anything, but he's fidgeting and his goose-flecked skin is a dead giveaway. He feels something warm drape over his shoulder. He looks up and sees Genesis placing his coat on him while still maintaining his conversation with Lazard at the front of the room.
• Angeal doesn't let anyone touch the buster sword—not Genesis nor Sephiroth, and definitely not Zack. But Cloud is so gentle with it, careful not to damage Angeal's most prized possession. He's the only one Angeal lets use the sword. He has Cloud use it to spar with him, wanting the younger boy to get the feel of fighting with a heavier sword because he knows Cloud is talented. When they're done, he ruffles Cloud's hair and offers to buy him dinner.
"Do you usually buy Zack dinner after training?" Cloud asks.
Angeal laughs. "No, and he cannot know I'm doing this—he won't let me hear the end of it."
Cloud nods, laughing along. "You'll owe him pizza for a year."
• Zack bought Sephiroth these really childish-looking hot dog socks as a joke. Sephiroth impulsively wears them one day. He pulls Zack into a corner, rips off his boot and shows how his foot looks like a giant hot dog. Zack has an uncontrollable fit of laughter that cannot be surpressed. He has to go the rest of the day coming up with excuses for why he's giggling, and absolutely loses it every time he sees Sephiroth.
• Genesis teaches Angeal how to fold origami creatures. The result is a small joke between the two where Genesis now finds origami friends in the oddest places. After a really hard day, he comes home, pulls back his comforter and finds four origami animals hidden underneath it—a chocobo, a cat, a puppy and an eagle. There's a small note in Angeal's handwriting that reads: "In case you're feeling down, call one or more of these to your place. They're all waiting to help you."
• They regularly steal each other's clothes. Angeal tends to have the coziest hoodies, which Sephiroth adores. Sephiroth has a wide range of long winter coats—or at least had. Angeal has stolen half of them. Cloud steals Zack's T-shirts, and Genesis steals Cloud's knitted items and scarves.
#sephiroth#genesis rhapsodos#angeal hewley#cloud strife#zack fair#ff7 crisis core#ffvii crisis core#crisis core#ff7#ffvii#crisis core? what crisis? only love here#headcanons
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Kink Realization + degradation?
"Don't be disgusting." Shigaraki says it to him while they're in a late-night planning session. He says that in response to him mouthing off and saying that AFO's fixation on them nabbing kids is creepy as shit. He's right that it is, but maybe implying that the guy who adopted his boss when he was young might have had reasons beyond the usual villainy was a bad look in momentary hindsight. But Dabi doesn't take the words back. He's a little too busy wondering why he kind of got warmer when the other said that. Whatever. Weird, but his whole life is weird. He goes on with their night.
///
He doesn't have as easy of a time ignoring it when he comes through one of Kurogiri's portals, tripping on the sudden shift from cracked pavement to hardwood floors and losing his balance as Jin, Compress, and Toga come racing out after him. He falls on the floor, thankfully between the couch and coffee table instead of onto Duster's lap or into the hard edge of the furniture, and he rolls onto his back, meaning to push himself up quickly, but instead, a red sneaker lands on his sternum and keeps him pressed to the floor. Shigaraki looks down at him, his expression cool behind the hand on his face.
"Report."
"Can you let a guy stand up first?" He gripes, reaching to push away the other's foot. He barely gets his fingers on the hem of his jeans before Shigaraki is grinding his shoe a little harder into Dabi's chest, stealing the breath from him.
"No. Besides, you're nothing but a dog right now. Prove you were worth training and bark, puppy."
He thinks he's supposed to set Shigaraki on fire for that, but he can't find his quirk, he can barely find his tongue as his entire body goes hot with arousal instead of fury.
"Tomura Shigaraki," Kurogiri's voice comes sternly from behind the bar. "That is no way to treat your subordinates."
Duster rolls his eyes and moves his foot off of him. "Lighten up, 'Giri. It was a joke." Dabi sits up quickly, desperately hoping that his pants are loose enough and his coat is big enough that no one sees that the treatment got him half-hard.
"Fuck off, Shig. Compress took point. Get your report from him." He hopes he seems pissed off instead of anything else as he leaves the room, his pulse pounding in his ears.
///
He waits until the others have departed for their own places or to celebrate a job well done before he goes to take a cold shower. He's not still hard, but he wants to tear whatever in Shigaraki's actions and words had made him hard away from his skin. But he might just go drown himself in the tub when he comes out of the bathroom and finds Duster waiting outside the door. He startles, nearly dropping his clothes, only wearing his sleep pants now.
"Sorry, all yours." One bathroom is an annoying thing to deal with, but at least he has running water again.
"That's a generous offer considering I don't even know if you're worthy of my time yet."
Dabi bristles again as Shigaraki doesn't move from where he's leaning against the wall. "What?"
Red eyes drag over him. "I'm not sure," he says slowly, "if someone as gross as you, is worthy of my time."
It still takes him a minute and then he's flushing indignantly. "What the fuck, Duster? Are you negging me?"
"No." He says the word with certainty. "Negging is just words. I'm degrading you, because you're the kind of pathetic bitch that likes it when he gets stepped on."
"I don't--"
"Did I give you permission to talk back to me?" Dabi's mouth snaps shut as a tremble works its way down his spine as his body goes abruptly hot again. "Better. Maybe if you learn your manners you'll earn the privilege of sleeping in a bed instead of on the floor like a dog."
Oh god. Dabi's fucking thighs are shaking, and there is no hiding how quickly the blood rushes to his cock as Shigaraki says that, no way he can shift his bundle of clothes in front of himself without being extremely obvious about it. Duster is watching it happen anyway, his lip curled into a sneer.
"Disgusting." He pushes away from the wall and Dabi thinks he's just going to be left with this humiliation, but Shigaraki goes to his door. "Heel."
He's not a dog, but he might as well be. He goes over to his door, and before he can ask, Shigaraki rolls his eyes.
"Did you really think I would fuck someone like you in my bed. No." Then he considers him, actually considers him and that meanness leaves his eyes to become more calculating. "And speaking of 'no', if you want something to stop, then you can bark twice. Once if you want things to keep going. Mutts don't speak, after all." And then Shigaraki waits.
Dabi feels like he might be dying in some awful haze of a fever dream as he croaks out a single weak, "Woof?"
The sharpness comes right back to Duster's expression. "You can be trained. Now take those off and get on the floor. Dogs don't walk or wear clothes."
Dabi doesn't know if he's ever had his cock dripping without anyone even touching him before, but as he practically scurries inside his room to comply with the orders, he has a feeling that Shigaraki will be able to make him cum without touching him if he keeps treating him like this.
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How would the harbingers react to MC having a puppy? I have a three month old puppy rn who will literally eat anything he can get his teeth on and there’s no stopping him, hair, clothes, shoes, you name it he’s probably tried to eat it
(I'm going to start grouping Harbingers when I get an ask like this because I spent way too much time on the other one I did)
It would be a mixture of disgust, adoration and disappointment.
"What do you mean you got the mutt a couple of days ago? We've been here since last week! When did you have time to get that thing?"
Disgusted Harbingers: Sandrone, Pantalone, Signora
Adoration: Childe, Columbina
Disappointment: Pierro, Arlecchino, Dottore, Scaramouche
Unbothered: Pulcinella, Capitano
The Disgusted folk would just stay away from it. What do you mean you won't get rid of it? Just look at the amount of bacteria it has! Dottore would agree, wouldn't he? Dog's mouths are as dirty as a humans? Bullshit! They'd ask the other Harbingers to dispose of it because they don't want to associate themselves with it. When they refuse, the disgusted have decided to just ignore the creature. Maybe when they're left alone with the puppy they'll hesitantly interact with it, but they'll scrub their hands raw after before putting their gloves back on.
The Adoration folk would love to see another bright life bounce around the house! Plus, wouldn't playing with the puppy make you happy? They would love to sit down with you and play with the puppy together! What's its name? How old is it? Where did you get it from? They'll ask questions upon questions and never leave you alone! They find it funny when you complain about the puppy destroying your clothes, furniture, and even carpet! You're the owner, you have to clean the mess, not them! Whilst you're begrudgingly fixing and cleaning, they'll take care of the puppy don't worry! They're in good hands... Just make sure you make it clear they're still more important in your eyes, otherwise you might find the puppy in a dangerous situation.
The Disappointed folk would be disappointed for different reasons. Some would feel you definitely aren't ready, nor have the responsibility for the puppy. Some would feel you're fucking crazy for adopting a dog in your situation. Some would even feel that you getting a puppy is a stupid idea, why would you get a dog so young? You can't even tell it when to leave a room! How would you train it? However, all the people in this category would agree on one thing: the puppy is annoying as hell. The damned creature keeps chewing on their clothes and running away with their delusions in its mouth! They'll warn you to control your pet otherwise they'll kick it out the house. They quickly change their mind when they realise they don't own this house and you have every right as the owner to kick them out yourself, even if you'd never actually do that since you're too afraid of them.
The Unbothered folk wouldn't care. They'd acknowledge it and then move on with their day. Sure, they'll take care of feeding the puppy for you, but after that don't talk to them about doing favours for you when it comes to your pet. It belongs to you, so it's your responsibility. Well, they say that but when the puppy falls asleep on them they don't move it away from them at all. They lightly pet the sleeping puppy, tired from all the playing and running it's done around the house. You'll definitely take pictures and use it against them.
#InsatiableMadness#InsatiableMadnessQuestion#genshin impact#yandere genshin impact#fatui harbingers#yandere harbingers#genshin#pierro#capitano#il dottore#columbina#arlecchino#pulcinella#scaramouche#sandrone#la signora#pantalone#tartaglia#childe#fatui#genshin fatui
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loving your blog as always + so special to watch the boy grow 🥺 SO BIG!!!!!! sounds like your pets all get along well, howd you get puppy and cats to be chill with each other?
i knowwww SO BIG!!! so horrible. please give dougal a smooch from me.
so the nice thing about collies (and actually a big reason i went with the breed in the first place) is that they're really, really good at co-habituating with other animals. you have to remember that collies were originally farm dogs, and would need to frequently be around/live with other dogs, cats, hoofstock, poultry, etc. and a farm dog that sees a chicken or a lamb and decides "i want to bite and kill this thing" normally ends up staring down the barrel of the farmer's gun. good farm dogs don't kill livestock.
which is not to say that you can always implicitly trust a collie with super vulnerable animals like newborn kittens or mice, or that there are no collies out there who would attack/kill a cat if given the chance (it would be wildly incorrect for the breed, but dogs are dogs at the end of the day). and an adult collie who had never seen a cat, i'd still say take caution with introductions. but in general, they're a very safe breed around small animals.
which is a long way of saying: introducing a collie puppy and a cat is easy mode. it helps that butters has always lived with dogs, so she's very comfortable around them and doesn't get stressed. but it's like any other introduction: the cat gets plenty of methods of escaping the puppy via baby gates/climbing, the cat is never forced to interact with the puppy and interactions are entirely at her pace, the puppy is discouraged from chasing/barking/focusing on the cat (e.g. if kep would run up and bark at her, i'd call him away to play with a toy instead), and the puppy is praised for ignoring/being calm around the cat. when we did training practice, i would always do it in a space 5-10 feet away from butters, so that kep got used to being near a cat while also not focusing on the cat.
and thats pretty much it - just gentle practice and repetition and you should be golden. like i said you do occasionally get a collie who isn't safe around cats/small dogs/small animals, but it's not the norm. a correct collie should be peaceable and able to easily get along with other people, children, dogs, cats, livestock, etc. they're just easy to live with.
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Mr Leonhart wasn't redeemed and I refuse to accept him as such
If you’ve been anywhere near my blog, you’ll know that I don’t tolerate that guy in any way, shape, or form, nor accept his apology to Annie
I have multiple reasons to believe his apology wasn’t sincere/well-intentioned.
He had the worst motivation out of all warrior parents
I think the reason I'm angry with Mr Leonhart the most compared to other Warrior Parents, even though they're all shit (I guess with the exception of Pieck’s father) is that the rest of them believed Marley's propaganda
They believed in the whole Eldian sin and Island Devil thing. Most parents of warriors, even kids training to become warriors, believed their kids were giving away their lives for a good and honorable cause. This is still abuse and it’s gross, but really, it’s not out of the “ordinary”
Parents place ridiculously harsh and harmful expectations on their kids all the time. Plus, I don’t think they would’ve straight up abandoned their kids if they didn’t make it as warriors
Mr Leonhart, however, never fell for Marley’s shit version of history nor did he care. He came from abroad and Annie once said he was in the same situation as her (mixed parents), when he took her in as a baby for a purely selfish reasoning
While it’s easy to put some distance since the situation of the warriors is nothing like in the real world, I’ll give you an example:
Someone adopts a puppy and then trains it for underground dog fighting to make money and better their financial situation. If the dog loses/isn’t good enough, he’s gonna throw it out. This also puts the dog at risk of injury, shortened lifespan, and overall reduced quality of life
I don’t feel hesitant using an animal in this example, because Annie was merely a tool, and like all tools, if it’s not doing its job, it gets thrown out
His apology wasn’t for Annie
Annie only miraculously became his daughter that he loves and cares about only after he’d gotten what he wanted: an irrevocable(?) Honorary Marleyan title. Doubt he would’ve had the same “revelation” had Annie failed her candidacy
Two aspects of his apology, in particular, piss me off: the timing and the rootcause/motivation
Timing
If Annie’s 13 years of titan shifting end when she’s 22, that means she got her titan powers when she was 9 years old. But the attack on Wall Maria happened in 845, when Annie was 11
Why the two year gap??
It’s not like military work as a titan shifter is a part-time job or a 9-to-5. She probably went away for days if not weeks at a time during Marley’s countless expansion and invasion efforts. She could’ve died or been captured during all of those and yet that still wasn’t enough for Mr Leonhart to realize his fatherly feelings towards her
I think it’s control
In the Lost Girls manga, Annie says her relationship with her father was “one of absolute obedience.”
And Annie was never a rebellious kid. She only went against him once (when she broke his leg) and never again
While in the military, Annie was being constantly monitored by her commanding officers. She had rules to follow and consequences for disobeying
But leaving for Paradis on a longer mission? She’s free
She’s free from him and from Marley and he knows she won’t care for her mission the same way Reiner, Bert, and Marcel cared, because she doesn’t believe in the Island Devils propaganda in the first place
I highly doubt the Paradis mission was announced to them the morning of their departure. They’ve known for a while, and yet he waited until the morning of her departure to say something
To be fair, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d gotten somewhat attached to her over the course of 11 years. The other warriors still had families to return to, but once Annie is let go, she’s gone. So that might’ve played a part
Motivation
Another part that pisses me off is that his regret never seemed like he was sorry for Annie, but for himself, for the type of person he'd become
After all, no one likes to believe that they’re evil/the bad guy
Considering that he still lives in the same rundown house as before, I don’t think(?) he’d taken advantage of any/many of the perks and privileges awarded to the parents of warriors during the 10 years Annie’s gone
But this all strikes me as self-flagellation, that he’s more concerned with feeling better about himself and his own past deeds, and not really the entire life he’d ruined and the child he’d mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically abused since day one
It was always about him, and it's still just him
There’s this shot during the rumbling that MAPPA added, in which we see Annie’s old house right before it’s stomped:
Those are the same padded polls Annie used to train with. He hadn’t removed them
At first glance, this looks like a way for him to not sweep his past/guilt under the rug. To face what he’d done to Annie every time he’d step out of the house or even look out the window.
Shows his remorse, right?
Sure, but what about Annie? What if she had returned with Reiner 4 years ago?
She finally manages to get home to her father, her family, the only reason she kept going, only to find her open-air torture chamber still up, like it’s been waiting for her return all along
I’m not saying he was planning on getting back to his old ways as soon as she got back not at all!
But even with his bad leg, over the course of 10 WHOLE YEARS, he could’ve dug them out. He could’ve asked it as a favor of Reiner and I know Reiner would’ve absolutely done it had they the smallest doubt Annie might come back and see them
But he didn’t because it’s about him feeling like he’s not escaping from his past mistakes, facing them head on like an honorable man
Annie? she doesn’t matter
Her return as his daughter is also another way for him to feel better about himself and that he’s actually making it up for his actions; atoning for his sins
Also, note the difference between how Annie remembers the apology:
vs how Mr Leonhart remembers the apology:
(those two shots are from the same chapter)
It really feels like his perception of that day is completely different from Annie's. She looks at him directly and smiles, while Annie mostly remembers herself still being in shock even as she promises him to come back
Final thoughts
I’m not saying his apology was entirely a manipulation technique. But Annie was and still is a tool to him, this time with the fancy title of “daughter”
If her previous purpose in life was to become a warrior and complete her mission, then her current purpose is to become a good daughter so he could feel like a good father
Post-canon, this would likely take most (if not all) of the verbal and physical abuse out of their relationship, but I can’t say the same for more covert types of mistreatment: mental and emotional
I think it’s important to respect/try to understand Annie’s point of view as well, for still loving him, since he was the reason she survived and come to think of her life as one worth living, even if only to return to him and be his daughter
Still, I wouldn’t really say that Annie has forgiven him. Not really
I doubt she even realizes she was hurt in a way that matters. Simply disassociating from that whole aspect of her life—blocking it out. Especially considering how she was able to tell her story to Hitch
The chance of simply “having a father” and be something more than a tool, was enough for young Annie to not even think about all the harm he’d done to her
It was always about him, and it's still just him
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#Annie Leonhart#Mr Leonhart#Annie Leonhardt#Mr Leonhardt#analysis#character study#annie#don't get me wrong I hate Karina as well and he motivations were very similar to Mr Leonhart#I'm just particularly angry with this guy more than Karina is that no one even likes her meanwhile this guy has a few fans#a quick edit bc i can't believe i didn't mention those two screenshots!!
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Random HTTYD!au information (INFODUMPING!!!!)
So, because Skrills eat electric eels, and DeathSongs literally couldn't care less about them, DeathSong!Soap often brings back electric eels for Skrill!Ghost.
Laurel and Misty have a special way of communicating, and that is tail gestures. For example, when Laurel flicks his tail frill four times, that means he wants cuddles.
Rider!Roach has special signs. For example, a ‘y’ sign, using his thumb and pinkie, when he flaps it, means fly.
Rider!Gaz will often go out and sunbathe with Laurel (it's an excuse for both of them to nap for a while on stressful days too)
Misty, Laurel, Smokey, and Tater all know how to write and read Viking (English)
Rider!Price will randomly get bursts of energy and destroy all the training dummies. Roach scolds the shit out of him.
Death Song!Soap has the world's BEST puppy dog eyes. And yes, he abuses this power to get Ghost to do whatever he wants. :3
Tater is an enigma. Even to his own rider. No one knows where he came from, why he looks the way he does, he just kinda...showed up one day with a mouth full of potatoes and never really left?
Laurel has been with Gaz since he was small. They're both 25. Gaz doesn't even remember why Laurel is called Laurel.
Misty stumbled out of the mist one day, after she got into a fight with other dragons. It's where she lost her left tail. She collapsed in front of Roach, who took her in, treated her wounds, and made sure she was safe.
Smokey got his name for two reasons. One, he was constantly chasing after smoke when he was little. (Still does, it's a whole ass problem.) Two, you cannot look at that behemoth and tell me he doesn't like muscular smoke.
And yeah, that's it! :3
(Taglist: @im-here-and-im-confused @the-starry-raven @thegreyjoyed @forestshadow-wolf @myriadblvck)
#httyd!au#call of duty#call of duty mw2#httyd#smokey#laurel#misty#tater.#deadly nadder#hobblegrunt#rumblehorn#triple stryke#rider!price#skrill!ghost#deathsong!soap#rider!roach#rider!gaz#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghoap#captain john price#nikolai#nikprice#rider!nikolai#kyle gaz garrick#gazroach#gary roach sanderson
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Aussie here, why not a cockatoo? I would get that importing it to the US would be fucked, and that they're one of the loudest birds ever. What other reasons?
There’s a blog run by animal behaviourist who specializes in parrots that i really enjoy reading, she has a very good writeup on them: The Inconvenient Truth About Cockatoos
the average person cannot take proper care of a large parrot. they are extremely social and intelligent animals who are very demanding if you are their only companion.
most pet parrots are hand reared or even hatched in incubators by breeders and are never given a chance to be raised by their parents, virtually none stay with their parents until a natural weaning age before getting sold. which is wild considering it is fucking illegal to do something like that with puppies or kittens.
A parrot isn't really born wired to human companionship in the same way that a dog or cat is. they imprint on their parents which sets the blueprint of their kin, and they generally want to only form extremely close bonds with others of their kin. To get a very people-oriented parrot, it has to think it’s people.
This is different from the socializing practiced in raising cats and dogs or acclimating ferals to people. socializing means exposure to things so that the animal doesn't grow up to see the target as a threat, and ultimately that the target is something that can be very rewarding to spend time around. A dog raised with its mother and socialized to people still understands that it's a dog, it can get along with other dogs, but can also form strong bonds to people. They actually read both dog and human body language and have an awareness that we are different species.
The companion parrot is raised to think it’s people, and as a result many lose the ability to form bonds with their own kind. in fact the reason many breeders remove eggs or chicks from the nest is arguing that the parents don’t really know how to raise their chicks- because they themselves were hand reared and never learned how from their parents! we essentially alienate them, and when they don’t have people around to meet their extremely high needs even if there's other birds around, the human-bonded parrot can become depressed and even self mutilate. parrots that were left with their parents, are raised as parrots, and weaned at their own natural pace overwhelmingly do not exhibit these destructive behaviours.
I think any parrot hand reared and imprinted onto humans is deeply psychologically damaged, they have been robbed of a normal parrot life.
a productive relationship with a pet parrot is one that fosters independence, not dependence on the human. those owners act as more as a zookeeper to their parrot instead of coddling and creating a ‘velcro’ bird glued to the hip, and socialize via training sessions instead of letting their birds indulge in pair bonding behaviours like petting and preening.
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You asked me about RenPo, so now...
What about Sampo x Luka?? <3
literally every day I am thinking about them even if I'm just microwaving them with my mind
i can make it so fucked up — not so much anymore, due to the amount of staring at Sampo I've done, but um. "Gibson Girl" by Ethel Cain is still the first song on my Luka playlist for a reason AAHAHA
they're fucking the same guy — GEPARD.
basically canon to me — definitely the shipping brain + almost zero canon Luka appearances but honestly. honestly! their voicelines about each other?? WHAT HAPPENED THERE and is Luka being silly! is he being serious? does he actually like Sampo? is this a bit they're doing?? I need more. I NEED to see them together so badly
i can make it so stupid — consider, for a moment, Luka being an honorary member of the Moles. consider, additionally, that Hook is apparently good friends with Sampo! consider them hanging out with the Moles, and the Moles figuring something strange is going there between both big brothers.... hmm.... they sort of like each other a lot.... and yet when confronted about it they deny everything!! >:O
they make me feel insane — I think I've written about 26k words of fic about them so far. I've been drawing fanart for them since I rolled Luka back in october last year. when I first heard Hozier's song "Too Sweet" my immediate thought was SAMPOLUKA! THIS IS A SONG FROM SAMPO'S POV ABOUT LUKA
brb gotta go through their whole ship tag — I.... I am most of the tag right now....
i like it in specific scenarios — I do really prefer my dynamic for them above other people's but I have read pretty much every fic in their ao3 tag and most of the ones where they're both tagged and show up and I love each and every one of them
oh there's no way this will end well + in a relationship not sure what but they're in one — I think Sampo is an extremely closed off person, emotionally. both him and Luka are like this. Luka has an easier time opening up to him, of course, once they get to the point of being intimate, physically and emotionally. I don't think Sampo would ask for anything concrete from Luka, they'd probably just be ~good friends~ for a while. but Luka is very much a puppy, a dog, very loyal to those he considers his friends and family. once he considers Sampo as that, there's very little Sampo can do to shatter that loyalty. even if Sampo ghosts him for a while, he'll still wait for him to come back. dog at a train station behavior.
they're sweet — so, Luka has spent pretty much his entire life in the Underworld, right? he was born before the separation order (because it lasted ten years) but before that, he lived with his dad at a blacksmith's forge, so they probably didn't have a lot of time to visit the Overworld, and if they did, Luka probably doesn't remember a lot of it from how little he was. please please please imagine Sampo taking Luka on a tour of the Overworld, treating him to food, and the opera house, and just. Luka seeing the sky and being allowed to just take it in. Sampo buying him flowers. please
oh the devotion — dog at a train station behavior.
thematically delicious — scammer x scammee. performer x audience. two protectors of Belobog (Sampo is a protector fight me on this) finding a bit of comfort in each other.
compatible brand of freaks — so we've talked about how Luka is very much a dog, right? Sampo being a ringleader, a stagehand pulling strings behind the curtain. they're both performers, and honestly, if Luka were a bit more unstable, I could see him being a Masked Fool. I have an AU in my head where Luka goes with Sampo instead of Oleg, like, in a Funny Bone MV type AU, and Sampo introduces him to the Tavern. Luka finds purpose entertaining and bringing hope to people through there, even though as he gets dragged further in, the worse Sampo feels about it.... but yeah :]
not dating but married nonetheless — sobbing just thinking about it, yknow
#asks#sampoluka#i rambled for a while omg#i think about them. so much you have no idea i didn't even touch on the silvermane!luka au i have#sampo koski#luka strongarm#sampo x luka
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This is a NSFW parksborn puppy play doodle dump, ft. both concepts for gear and also just plain old horny drawings.
I wrote that puppy play fic and now I am ill, I think—with puppy peter fever,
(there's a separate post for the safe-for-work drawings on that second page of doodles: link)
This is all slapped together so some closeups after the readmore, focusing on the less-than-safe-for-work images:
I'll start off with some of the sillier drawings:
this ⬇️ is a little doodle-comic of what probably happened immediately after they finished their little uh, play session in the fic.
not really a puppy related drawing other than addressing the fact that Peter "Daddy Dom" Parker is extremely embarrassed by what he just did... I will be honest, I kind of approach all instances of Peter subbing as involving inevitable sub drop. He just doesn't deal well with submission, after-the-fact, even when it's cathartic for him.
Goofy x Horny double combo—
also more sub drop. i was just having fun with little doodles. if i actually write anything about Peter's aftercare needs in this context it will be, like in other contexts I have written it, much less silly.
HORNY:
hi 🥴
and some uh. dog bone gags 😳 don't judge me.
one, an actual gag made for humans, and the other, me looking at a chew toy and thinking to myself, they could probably fit that in Peter's big mouth. for when he won't shut the fuck up.
all you need is a spring lock and suddenly it's adjustable, amiright?
he's still topping here btw. not that i drew the rest of what's happening. but. probably topping. or getting a bj idk.
Harness and collar concepts ahoy:
Peter's day collar. It's heavily based off of this collar (sfw link btw it's just petco LOL) by Le Dog Company, but I wanted to make it more padded under the buckle. I do like that the strap just says "Le dog" though like. Yeah. And you can see his little name tags and stuff.
probably the inside is like a nice caramel color, rather than black or anything, but i didn't color that part.
and I decided that they'll never go beyond "training" or other non-ownership collars. i don't think he'd be okay with extending even pretend ownership outside of actively having sex tbh. they're extremely not following "old guard traditions" here. peter owns himself and all of his gear, no exceptions
concept for harness to match, courtesy of Felicia, and just. photos of one of the leashes. i didn't feel like drawing it. not pictured: 9 footer (another petco link lol) — I think I like the way the 4 foot leash looks better, esp since it matches the collar better imo, but I figured. maybe sometimes they would want a 9 foot leash. I mean. Is Harry taking Peter on walks, No, but, you know, could be useful.
Harness is the same color as the collar, I just made it lighter in this pic so you can see the actual details. It's loosely based on some leather harness I saw but slightly different.
...
I also wanted to add some bonus sets which are probably gifts from Felicia, though I'm sure Harry could afford more, but *waves my hand* Felicia likes to tease Peter—
*loudly clears my throat* It's uhh, you know, I just like pink. yeah. I mean normally I put Flash in pink for gender-y reasons I think most people are aware of at this point, but I just. Happened to see a picture of a cute pink mesh dog harness while looking for inspiration, and, well, it got away from me a little bit,
not for gender reasons, particularly, mostly just for horny reasons 😂
this one is obviously stealing I mean taking heavy inspo from the irl dog harness but also from some other stuff, like safety vests and what have you. And I decided I wanted it to have nylon straps with a cinch instead of a normal buckle because............ conceptually, I find that sexy, for some reason LOL idk it's the physicality or something. the combo of industrial hardware with girly aesthetics. just really strapping him into this thing.
also yeah i designed this one to not be easily removed (or put on) by the wearer themself, also for horny reasons. requires a helper to put on and take off, though Peter is probably flexible enough he could take it off by himself if he needed to get out in a pinch.
........does this qualify as sissification? probably. who can say,
anyway the collar is based on those thousand different kinds of customizable rhinestone collars where you can get your pet's name, or "cum slut" or whatever, spelled out in bejeweled charms. but made with like, slightly higher quality materials. like suede, heavy duty hardware, cubic zirconia or something, etc... I came VERY close to putting something vulgar but settled on just Peter's name and the hearts instead.
In my head, Felicia thinks she's very, very funny for giving this pink set to Peter.
don't be such a wet blanket Peter.
no, i do have a scenario in my notes involving him trying this on and enjoying it a little bit more than he intended to... not because of him having a secretly girlish nature so much as uh the opposite, so. you know, like i said, it might qualify as sissification/force femme, but idk. i just like it...
harry would also be cute in this... also flash... really any of the gang. full CBG matching bubblegum pink kink wear, now there's a thought 😂 mj would probably get a kick out of that
swarovski crystal... i wanted a D-ring on both the front and the back (for versatility) and it happened to also be a useful place to hang a cute little charm.
And now for something on the complete opposite end of the aesthetic spectrum, and probably more Felicia's style than anything else in this post.
Anyway, the other bonus from Fel (or possibly just Peter and Harry buying it). Sometimes Peter is naughty... or, you know, combining his top and dom instincts with submission and bdsm—a bad dog who bites. muzzle optional. tbh idk how hardcore Harry is but Peter likes this stuff (in my mind) so I figure it would make sense. More BDSM looking than doggy at this point but, you know, the spiked collar and a very short (like a foot or two at most) chain leash. plus muzzles.
went for two different muzzles—the medical padded style that is on its own pretty intense, with a little snap so it can attach to the O-ring on the front of the collar instead of having its own attached collar (see, O-ring not just aesthetic lol) and the other one is a more dog-like muzzle, with the metal basket. Both would probably be custom, esp if they're from Felicia, though i guess with the right needle and stuff Peter could probably modify a stock padded muzzle on his own... so maybe only the metal one is custom. who knows.
Obv the leather padded one is way more of a muzzle that makes it so you can't speak easily, or bite or eat or anything else, plus it has its own D-ring for extra bondage lol— vs the basket muzzle which is mostly aesthetic and to prevent biting. lol.
there are 500 harnesses that look almost exactly like this on etsy. can't beat the classics i guess. didn't bother drawing seams but this is definitely reinforced, though none of it's padded except where it needs to be for durability.
butt. all of the harnesses like this i saw also have that kind of rubber handle on the back. it's not like Harry can really tug Peter around that much even if Peter didn't have super strength, but, i have to include nice handles on all of these for the aesthetic/sex appeal. it's about the implication.
my real motivation for making this one unpadded (aside from, I guess, being less gentle) was cause I wanted all the spike rivets and other hardware to be skin-contact. aka: put the collar in the fridge for some temperature play LOL 🥶❄️ obv it would warm up fast but, appealing mental image,
i also thought it would be fun if it had some warning patches they could put on it, so I sketched a couple of those. I think Peter could make or modify something like this very easily lol. these could probably be put on the other harnesses too. or like on the shoulder straps. full kit w/ muzzle + spiked collar + harness + chain leash + caution patches is definitely... a thought...
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Just saw you in my following list and holy hell I was SO EXCITED to see your requests open!! Bet your ass you got a follow, esp for that hella writing you do!
I've got an idea stuck in my head but I'm not sure about how to write it. Do you think you could write a yandere that falls in love with a darling that's got a lot of boundaries?
Like, it'll take a WHILE for the darling to even warm up to hugs and kisses, but they can be won over by patience (or even exposure). If you've got a yan you wanna write for that you've got no ideas for yet, maybe one of them! Excited to see what you write :))
Ooooo Interesting! I'm not sure how to write this either lol but I'll give it a try. This will be when they already have a... "Relationship" according to Yan delulus'. Not proofread
TW: yandere tendencies, harassment, physical touch conditioning, obsession, stalking, etc. (Comment if I missed anything!)
Yandere POV
"Honey... You look lovely today!" I moved closer to darling as they sat down on the couch next to me. I want to be closer... No space between us... Inside them.... Just so close like no one else can be...
"Ah thank you..." Darling seemed to notice I was in their bubble, but they didn't say anything about it! Progress!!!
At first Darling needed 4 feet away from anyone and everyone including Yandere. But slowly he got them used to his close proximity. When they'd got out to a store he'd stand close to them saying the aisle was crowded and someone was passing by. Or on the train/bus and someone just happened to run into him every time and he would bump into darling... Nothing big just small instances that happened more often and stay in darling space for longer.
Acting afraid of animals and bumps in the night to cling to darling with an excuse good reason. Grabbing their hand or arm to grip them tight... Letting go after they "realized and felt bad for" but now he grabs on and doesn't let go... He holds on saying "it makes me feel safe and know that you're still here.." giving the biggest puppy dog eyes. Darling used to refuse but now that resolve has broken.
Just a little more, just a little longer and he can be closer for longer.... Forever.
I would be the only one close to Darling... no one else just me and them forever and they have such large boundaries no one could take them from me.
Just need to have a bit more patience... Don't scare them... Just be a bit more quiet at night when I hug them while they sleep...
If they're exposed to my hugs and my scent in their unconscious most vulnerable state they'll be more comfortable in their conscious least vulnerable...
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Scatter-brained...
I just got back from a quick, unexpected trip home for a funeral. It put a serious dent in my savings, what was a tickle in my throat became a full-blown cold while traveling, and although it wasn't a happy occasion, I can honestly say I'm really glad I went. I got to love up on my family, comfort my mom, and be on the receiving end of some much-needed hugs (I told them folks I was sick, but they insisted anyway).
While talking with my younger cousin over the weekend and being introduced to more of her family, she kept introducing me as a cousin she's missed and was really glad to see. She brought up instances when I looked out or took her out to eat or helped her out when she was in school or after she'd given birth to her daughter, and it made me feel so happy and appreciated. I did it because I'm big cousin and that's lil cousin. I wasn't thinking anything of it at the time, but it absolutely warmed my heart that spending time with me meant so much to her, especially since I've been gone almost 3 years at this point.
The way my people are showing up for me in my time of grief has left me speechless on more than one occasion. I feel so seen and cared for. The fact that they're looking for ways to comfort me without me even asking really has my acts-of-service-loving ass on the verge of tears.
Curban on curban, my shit in layers, ho
The hell is the other part of my tax return? It ain't much, but damn... it's my money and I want it now.
My roommate's dog has accidents when she's out working on the weekends and the other day I told her he went in the living room again and that it was too much. She either needs to train him to go on puppy pads or hire somebody to walk him. Since before she got him, I've been very clear about it being her dog and her responsibility. The response I got was, "well I'll clean it when I get home since you won't" and her basically calling me part of the problem because I meant what I said when I told her I'm not cleaning up after a dog that's not mine. Excuse the fuck out of me...
She apologized a few days later, but the whole interaction blew me. Never in a million years did I think she'd come back with, "I know it's my dog, but I'm busy, so either clean it up or deal with it." The it being dog shit... man... I'm just trying to stay saved.
I ordered two new pairs of glasses and I can't wait til they get here. The best part is I was able to get them for free and only had to pay $6 for shipping. I don't know if Firmoo is still running the sale (free frames + lenses), but in case they are, the code is TRIALB
We have no business talking if the thought of kissing me after you've cum in my mouth makes you uncomfortable. A friend and I were talking when she called her man the nastiest she's ever been with, and when I asked her what he does that others didn't do, the fact that he was willing to do that came up as a reason. It made me wonder what past men she's dealt with were like. I mean, I'm glad that's happening for her now, but that was the moment I learned we have two very different definitions of nasty. Because fucking with me, I need that shit to be standard.
Losing my voice with this cold and not being able to sing is making me realize just how often I randomly sing shit throughout the day. Hearing the things I usually sing come out of my mouth sounding not like they're supposed to got me like... "is this how folks who can't sing feel all the time?" Notes just come out sounding any which way, no matter how hard you concentrate on singing the right ones? Wild. I hate this lol.
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Weird to have a supportive family that triggers the fuck out of you. Dad asked me to get dinner, which he paid for, and we ate together. He gave me meat from the freezer.
I tried to help with the puppies, and he didn't like me messing with their routine, and I'm nervous about them resource guarding, and they still have puppy pads in the house because for some reason the rescue they're working with recommends this???
I don't remember the rescue's name, but one of the first things you learn in house training is that if you use pads AND try to get them to pee outside, it can confuse them. You keep them in a room with you, tether them to you, or keep them in a crate until they're potty trained.
They are not doing this.
Little Bit is still scared of the puppies, and it's not funny anymore. I really only thought it was funny the first time because I was able to control the situation and I was trying to keep her safe.
Mom thinks it's fine and that she should get used to them, and tried to bring her up close to the puppies more than once. This is NOT how you're supposed to do it.
They got upset that I put the puppies back in their pen so we could leave in peace. It's the perfect place for them to get used to each other, since they can see each other but can't get to each other, but God forbid I don't follow the schedule exactly.
My dog was shaking when we came in. I was holding her, and the puppies were at my feet. I don't think bringing her over there is worth the stress.
Dad didn't want puppies, mom did, and she's the one who agreed to foster. Mom is also flying a lot, so dad is left to take care of the puppies on his own for long periods of time.
Before all of this, mom invited me to an event so I could meet her friends' adult kids. I know that no one there is going to be masking, or even give a shit about covid.
Called grammy. She's sympathetic about my dog's health issues. She said she'd help. She also said that she doesn't believe in covid.
Dad sent me a promotional email for a job fair. It's in person and I'm sure it's another crowd that doesn't give a shit about masking. I don't even know if I'd be interested in any of the companies there. Maybe some of the remote roles.
I was going to talk about the budget and what's realistic, but dad was tired and sad so I just told him I'd made a little money this week. Someone tipped me $20. It's the most hope I've had in a while. It's also a drop in the bucket. It's a huge deal to me, but I'm going to have to do this about a thousand times over if I want to survive on my own.
I avoided mentioning what it was because I do not want my parents anywhere near my current writing in any way, shape, or form, so I have no idea what he thinks I might be doing. "I get paid per view and people can tip me." What does that sound like? I'm not gonna clarify.
When I see my family I usually stay up even later than usual because I can't deal with it, but I have a vet appointment tomorrow. I can't fuck around this time unless I cancel before 9am, and I don't think I should cancel. I'm stressed about the money.
Dad's stressed about money too. The roof is going to cost about 10k to fix.
I should ask for help finding a therapist. I don't know how to make myself do things. I don't know how to stop feeling sad.
#the last few therapists I've had have been the ones my dad picked out and they were deeply christian#the trump kind#personal
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