#then on the other end of the spectrum there are feelings that like im kind of terrified off but like

[sodaf]

being mentally ill is so cool

[lebrookestore]

feelings are so complex

[lurkingshan]

hi there i hope im not bothering you but i was hoping you could recommend me some good japanese bls? hopefully completed ones? no pressure ofc!

Can I recommend you some good Japanese bls? *laughs maniacally* Oh my anonymous friend, you have come to the right place.

First, go here for a nice little variety pack of some of my all time favorites to get you started. I will add some more gems here in no particular order (all of these are complete and available to stream):

Kieta Hatsukoi (Viki)

You have probably heard of this tumblr fav about a very confused mess of a boy who gets into all kinds of Situations while trying to sort out who he has feelings for and what it even means to like somebody. This one is super sharp, funny, and has an endearing ensemble cast.

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki kun Desires to be Recognized  (Viki)

Two childhood friends--one a doujinshi artist, one a pop idol--reconnect and get the chance to sort out old feelings. This one has great wacky energy while still being quite emotionally deep.

Life: Love on the Line (Viki)

This bl film follows a pair of high school lovers through coming of age and the challenges of adulthood as queer men. It's so lovely.

Seven Days (Youtube)

A short film told in two parts, this is a very simple story about a high school boy who is willing to date anyone who asks for a week, and the classmate who is so curious about this guy's deal that he decides to take a week for himself. I bet you can guess what happens next!

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (GagaOOLala, Viki)

Two high school boys decide to date each other. That's it, that's the show, and despite that incredibly simple premise there's a lot here.

If It's With You (GagaOOLala)

A jaded before his time kid who doesn't believe in love meets a nice boy and reconsiders. Another very simple one, but so well executed.

My Personal Weatherman (GagaOOLala)

And on the not so simple end of the spectrum, this is a story about two men whose communication problems run so deep that they've managed to enter into a relationship with wildly different ideas of what exactly they are to each other. Equal parts kink and confusion.

Perfect Propose (GagaOOLala)

The story of an overworked salaryman who reunites with his old high school friend and moves him in as a de facto caretaker. This one is very cathartic for anyone who's ever had a soul destroying job.

At 25:00 in Akasaka (GagaOOLala)

Two former college classmates are cast opposite each other in a bl drama. Old feelings and insecurities return, professional and personal boundaries get blurred, and communication struggles ensue.

A Man Who Defies the World of BL (GagaOOLala, Viki)

This hilarious parody of Japanese bl is most fun to watch after you've immersed yourself in the others, because the jokes will land harder the more familiar you are with the genre and its tropes. There are now three parts to this and they play out as a continuous story.

I will stop there for now or we could be here all day. I hope you find some shows to enjoy, anon! Feel free to stop by for recs anytime. And for ongoing shows, I am always tracking Japanese ql here.

[janovavalen]

✧HER NEW CUT || luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: luke as always admired y/n…from afar, but when she comes to camp one morning he can’t help but talk to her about her very bold hair cut

word count: 3174 (cray cray)

warnings: slight obsession from a far (not joe goldberg type), horrid flirting, y/n had a long to short haircut like taylor russell’s hair type short, slight jealousy, happy and soft ending<3

a/n: for more dramatic feels listen to japanese denim specifically? 3:09 so hope u read fast when it comes to the end bc JAH!

at the camp, luke and his group of friends walked amongst themselves as they laughed at the endless and kind of weird jokes one another was telling.

luke was always lucky with making friends but his friends were kind of—not to be rude—on the weird spectrum. he himself couldn’t say he wasn’t weird either.

‘dude, then the next thing—oh shoot, look who’s gotten out of her cabin this morning’ his friend jake, who pointed over to persephone’s cabin.

as luke looked over he saw none other than y/n l/n. daughter of persephone, goddess of spring and nature. persephone was known for her beauty, and her love, her kind mind towards all even when they’ve done bad.

all of persephone’s children seem to have these traits, but y/n? no. she had them more, she had them down to the freckles on her face that seemed to align like the stars of sirius. the most beautiful, brightest star in the sky.

y/n had been at the camp for only a few months, not as long as luke, but the second she stepped foot into that camp was when luke gave himself over to her willingly. but to her, unknowingly.

as crazy as it sounds, luke has never said a word to y/n. the only thing he did do however? was embarrassingly trip over his own foot, slamming down into the earth below her feet as she stopped her movements, he could remember it alarmist like it was ten minutes ago.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as luke walked out of his cabin he saw y/n walking with her sisters as they laughed and talked together, their laughs seemed to drown out and the only noticeable one being y/n’s.

at the moment, luke had the duty of taking his wooden swords to the swordsman practice field.

as the girl—mainly y/n walked their way across from herme’s cabin, luke tried to make himself look more attractive? cool? so he straightened his back, the wooden swords being in one arm as he confidently walked down the steps—just as the girl passed, he tipped over a tree stump that had grew out of the ground.

when he did, was well hades himself rose from the ground and put hell on earth—the swords went flying into the air, one hitting y/n’s sister in her head.

‘oh my!—‘ as luke fell stomach first into the ground he grunted.

‘oh my gosh! are you okay!?’ a soft and worried voice spoke above him. as he looked up he saw a worried face of y/n…the girl he was so desperately trying to impress.

‘i—im fine! i’m okay, sorry! i’m so sorry emma!’ he yelled to the girl as he scurried up to grab the wooden swords. y/n turned to see one laying lot to far behind her so she went to reach, but at the same time like some two-thousands movie cliché, he went to reach for the same one.

his larger hand being on top of y/n’s who looked him into the eyes she smiled warmly while he smiled back, cleaning his throat.

‘again i'm so sorry’ he nervously smiled at y/n who kept her eyes trained on his own. she smiled warmly and shook her head.

‘don’t, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault’ she calmly told him while placing her hand on his chest. he took a deep breath while they looked each other in their eyes.

‘y/n? come on we need to get emma to the clinic’ her sister called out to y/n who turned around. luke kept his eyes trained on y/n who called out—‘o—okay! i’m coming right now!’ as she turned back around she was quick to luke in his eyes.

‘well…i guess ill see you around prince charming’ she smiled with a hint of playfulness in her tone. he nervously laughed while holding onto the wooden swords as she walked away.

not without turning back to look at luke how never stopped looking at her.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

snapping out of his memory, luke looked over to jack to smirked at him.

‘dude, whatever—‘

‘i mean come on luke! you’ve been obsessing over her for how long? like how many years?’

‘about two i think?’ one of this friends said. jake pointed at them to prove his point.

‘see! two! and not to ruffle your edges but she’s a very pretty girl…she’s not going to wait for you forever luke’ he stressed. luke and jake have been friends for some time now and he was tired of watching luke get jealous every time y/n talked to some other guy at the camp.

and eveytime he let it happen, luke would go into his quiet, mystery guy mode and not talk to anyone for thirty minutes or an hour just falling over the fact the guy y/n was talking to and laughing with wasn’t him.

luke rolled his eyes a bit and shook his head.

‘nah it’s okay…besides maybe he deserves someone else, i don’t think i’m first and only in line anyway’ luke watched y/n sadly as she talked to some camper from zeus's cabin.

he was basically torturing himself as he watched the two laugh, her hand falling along the guy's shoulder.

turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.

turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.

‘okay—guys let’s just go have dinner, have fun, y’know?’

jake looked over to the rest of the group who sadly shook their head at the effort of getting luke to talk to y/n. sighing he followed luke over to the small outdoor cafeteria.

there were all of the kids who laughed and ate.

‘you guys can sit over there and I'll go and get dinner’ luke told them. some of the group didn’t really eat often, they more often ate their snacks they had saved up in their cabins.

‘i’ll go with you!’ jake called out.

as the two of them made their way to were the food was being handed out, luke failed to notice y/n who smiled up at him and called his name softly.

‘luke is that you?’ she smiled. turning around immediately to see y/n smiling up at him he stumbled to turn around to her completely.

‘y/n! hey! how are you? how’ve you been?’

luke was trying his best to make it seem like he didn’t know she been rather okay.

‘i’m good! i’m good, and you?’ she walked him him down the like of food.

‘i’m good as well! uhm…how’s camp going for you?’

‘good, uhh—me and my sisters have small sleepovers almost every night, we’re also doing some get-togethers for the other demigods to join, you can come whenever you like? i already asked mr. dionysus and chiron’s permission. they said it would be a rather good thing for the demi-gods to put their differences aside and get along as a full community’

y/n was always one for having a soft spot for people. even for her own good. but, that’s what luke loved about her. she was always so caring and supportive of everyone aside from the fact they’re all from different gods. that didn’t matter to her.

nodding his head and smiling he agreed to showing up to one of them—‘yeah, yeah i’ll try and make it if i’m not taking care of other things or sleep’ he chuckled a bit at his own joke while y/n did the same.

‘good good, i hope you can. it was really good to talk to you luke, i mean it. i always saw you a couple of times but you were with other people and i didn’t want to interrupt—‘

‘no! no—you could never interrupt, you can always talk to me, i mean it’ he was quick to shut down her worry in trying to intrude her way through conversation he wasn’t even paying attention in.

she smiled and nodded her head while holding a plate of food.

‘well, i’ll see you tonight?’ she tilted her head to him with a smile on her face full of hope. he mindlessly nodded with a glaze in his expression that didn’t go unnoticed by jake but blinded it her.

as she walked away with her plate in hand and her long flowing hair behind her, jake was quick to hit luke with his shoulder.

one thing that was very different from all of her sisters was that her hair seemed to grow ten times the return speed hair takes to grow. she had the length of hair that almost reached her calves. she always liked it long, and luke didn’t want to lie to himself he loved the way it looked on her.

‘ouu! look at you man! get your game on!’ jake make a corny comment making luke look back at him with a shake of his head but a grin on his face.

‘dude she only invited me to some function everyone is going to be at…’

‘yeah, but she smiled and talked to you? what definitely soldier boy points’ jake nudged luke once more before leaving to the table. when luke was down with his own plate and made his way over to the table, he was bombarded by cheers for him getting somewhere with y/n. finally.

luke only grinned and smiled while he turned around to see y/n eating a bit of her strawberry while looking at him with a small smile.

luke felt his chest tighten and his face grow red and warm. smiling back at her before she turned and he did as well—not before letting his eyes linger on her for a bit longer of course.

‘dude! this is definitely going to be your night!’

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

later that night, all of the campers made their ways back to their own cabins. luke with his friends and his own sibling in his own cabin.

like had found himself in a predicament. he was trying to decide if the white shirt or the black one would go well with his gray sweats. he wasn’t one for fashion since at the camp everyone wore one thing. but they got lucky and got to pick out some casual clothing away from the orange shirt and regular pants.

‘look at lukey-pookie trying to find a cute date outfit to see his girlfriend!’ one of his siblings called out with a teasing smile on their face. turning to see them he rolled his eyes.

‘no she’s not my girlfriend and i could care less what i wear…’ luke turned back around still trying to decide what shirt.

‘dude wear the black one, chicks did the whole tight back shirt and sweats thing, trust me’ one of his other siblings told him as they sat their doing their hair.

‘really?’

some of the other unclaimed kids nodded in agreement super fast as he hummed to himself and slipped on the black shirt.

‘make sure you flex your jaw and muscles every now and again as well—‘

‘yeah, you have a very defined jaw and your like jacked’ another spoke while they put on their shoes.

luke nervously turned around—does y/n think he was jacked? or does she think he has a very defined jaw? finding himself thinking of y/n and her smile he grew red and cleared his throat.

‘okay whatever, are you guys ready to go?’ luke fixed his shirt and soothed it down while he pulled out his shoes to throw on.

‘yeah we're ready…we’ve been waiting on you for like ten minutes to decide on what shirt to wear…’

‘yeah you literally stood there looking at the wall for a bit. we thought you left us’ they all laughed as luke rolled his eyes.

‘go! get out’ he yelled with a small smile as they did what he said.

while him and his group of siblings and some other that he still referred to as siblings, began to walk their way to where the small get-together was being held, they were imminently introduced with a lot of flowers.

more than usual. there was a trail of them leading down some part of the forest along with some small fires that were stuck on torches like the ones back at camp.

‘they persephone kids do know how to set a mood huh?’ one of the siblings spoke as he looked at the different versions of flowers that slowly grew in their wake.

luke couldn’t help but take notice of some of the flowers that he immediately knew were y/n’s. not to be a weirdo or anything but he saw her growing some flowers every now and again and sometimes wore them in her hair or as a flower crown.

smiling slightly as he heard small sounds of laughter and a bit of music he looked up to see the crowd of campers laughing with and down at each other.

as they walked deeper into the green patch of grass that seemed to form a perfect circle that was surrounded by trees with the light of the moon above to shine down on all the people below.

‘whoa…’

‘this is actually pretty neat’ some people spoke behind him as they departed from luke.

jake and luke’s other friends however stayed together.

‘this place actually kind of looks entertaining’ jake mumbled to like who had his focus setting for the only person he came for. jake took notice of this and cleared his throat.

‘she’ll be here, why would she invite you then not show up,’ luke looked at jake and nodded his head, trying to calm himself down and focus on the small gathering around him.

‘yeah…yeah no your right—i’m just going to get some juice, i’ll see you in a sec?’ luke departed from jake who let him go with a nod.

as luke made his way through everyone. some of them gave luke a smile and some gave him hugs, he smiled and hugged his way through and to the small table full of snacks and drinks.

as luke reached the pitcher of juice he poured himself some in his cup and drank it a bit. his eyes still searching for her.

while he did he noticed a small group of what looked like persephone daughters. squinting his eyes as he looked to the very distinctive long hair that belonged to y/n he couldn’t help but take a notice to the very short hair girl that stood next to the daughters.

there was something about her? was it her outfit? no…maybe—once he heard her laugh however? was when his thoughts could come to rest.

it was y/n.

as she slowly turned to her friend who walked up to her from behind her, was when he saw her new haircut.

and boy…did his mind go in a ruckus.

he felt as if his once tight enough grip on his cup faltered as he watched her laugh and move some of her hair out of her eye. their hair was extremely short, more short than he’d ever saw. did she ever cut her hair? he can’t recall. but that didn’t matter, not a bit, not at all.

feeling his mind become blank and his eyes go in a daze, the only thing he could every really focus on was her. she smiled and nodded. talked and laughed with her friends and sisters.

she wore this cute flowing dress that reached her thighs and had skinny straps.

it wa plain (f/c) which he took a note looked amazing on her. he never really saw her in anything other than shorts and the orange camp shirt. so he took his time to absorb her new look.

as y/n moved her hair out of her face once more she looked up and it seemed the stars aligned. her eyes met his and he hurried to turn around .

tightly closing his eyes as he cursed myself for doing so, he took a shaky break and sip of his drink. unbeknownst to him, y/n walked her way slowly up to luke who’s back was turned to her.

‘luke?’ she spoke. he hurried to turn around and let out a nervous laugh.

‘y/n? oh my—what? that’s crazy, i didn’t expect you to be here at all! that’s insane…’ he closed his eyes once more to collect and mentally punch himself repeatedly in the stomach for what he just said.

‘uhm…yeah of course i’m here! i invited you silly’ she smiled at him while he smile back. hit face growing insanely warm along with the tips of his ears.

‘yeah—yeah i just noticed that…sorry, i’m so sorry i just—‘

‘you wanna go somewhere more quiet?’ she suggested. luke looked into her eyes immediately to see her signature soft look focusing on him.

god, could she be anymore beautiful than this? he thought.

only nodding in response, he let her take the cup from his hand and place it on the table.

‘come on’ she smiled at him once more while slipping her smaller hang into his large warm one.

he took another note at how her hand seemed to fit perfectly into his. his mind going insane as if he were some teenage girl with her first celebrity crush.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as the two of them walked hand in hand deeper into the forest and near a more quiet place. luke couldn’t help but let his focus wander onto her and her hair.

while they found a spot near the lake surrounded by some sand and rocks, y/n looked over at him. he gazed down to her and saw how the moonlight traced her face perfectly.

‘i come here to think sometimes. or just talk to my mom…hope i didn't creep you out on how far we are’ she nervously laughed while letting her hand slip from luke’s.

he quickly let his heavy hand chase after hers as she turned to him with her hand holding his again, her grip soft and his worried that some monster would come and snatch her away from him.

‘no! no, no not at all! not at all i like it out here, i like how quiet and calm it is. very calm and quiet…very’ he mumbled and stumbled over his words.

he only found himself like this when it comes to y/n and he was okay with that. she laughed softly as this and shook her head while looking at him over his face and chest.

breathing and and taking a small doing to what his sibling said he clutched his jaw a bit while mindlessly looking away to make his jaw more prominent.

unbeknownst y/n took a notice and noted this for herself.

‘so uhm…your hair!’ he called out, looking back at her immediately while her eyes snapped back at his own.

‘what about it’ she reached up and turned a bit of the hair pieces over me another. it looked so smooth and healthy he shook his head in a hurry.

‘nothing! it looks good on you, really good…not! in a creepy way! i didn’t mean to say that in a creepy way! y’know im just saying, you look good, very pretty—pretty beautiful—very…beautiful…’ he was almost disgusted at himself for saying such things in such a rushed manner.

what was actually going on? y/n couldn’t have liked something like that. she’s too special for that—she can’t like or even go for a guy like him. why did he even think—

‘i cut it for you…’ she quietly admitted.

looking over at her immediately once more he saw her gaze and her hand slightly gripping his own a bit tighter as she refused to look up at him.

‘you what?’ he breathed out. waiting for her to continue he didn’t fail to notice how her arm seemed to pull him a bit closer so he mindlessly let her tug him closer.

‘i cut it for your attention…i thought if i changed something out myself…you’d notice me. it’s stupid but ever since i saw you fall in front of me with your wooden swords i couldn’t get you out of my head. and for almost two years straight i did things like…talking to other guys or laughing at jokes i didn’t really think were funny so you could hopefully look at me? i don’t it’s stupid i—‘

before she could say anything else luke bent his body and face down to press his lips fully onto hers. as the two of them shared a single kiss. he pulled away to look her in the eyes for her to only look at his pink pull lips. placing her hand onto his face and pulling him closer, she smashed her lips onto his once more.

this time, the kiss wasn’t like the last. it was more desperate, full of energy, and all the times he’s thought about her non stop, over and over and over.

her hands found their way to the back of his neck and through his hair while he grunted a bit and placed his hands on her waist.

the two of them sharing what seemed like a never ending kiss. their were fireworks, bombs, sparklers, a full zoo and war going on all throughout luke’s body and mind right now.

he’s never experienced anything like this before and he was so sure he never wanted to experience anything like it except if it was with her and only her.

y/n smiled into their kiss as luke pulled away and gave her one last kiss.

‘i don’t know, what you were denying about what i feel. i have never stopped thinking about you, ever. it’s impossible to forget you and to stop thinking about you, every morning, evening and night even in between, when i wake up for water, i think about you. y/n…’ placing his hand on her cheek as she smiled dazingly into his eyes he let his nose hover and almost touch her own.

‘…your all i ever see.’ he finished as she gave a small smile and laugh. her hand made its way up to his face and her thumb traced over his scar which he closed his eyes on. their foreheads resting on one another.

‘awh luke…’ was all he could say before placing he slips onto his once more.

as he mindlessly and desperately kissed her back she made sure their bodies were close.

the moon seemed to shine over the two as they shared their moment of glory together.

after a bit more of kisses, luke and y/n pulled away from one another as they held their closeness. y/n found herself wrapping her arms around luke’s body as he held her against him.

after a moment of silence luke spoke—‘i really like your hair by the way’ he told while y/n laughed a bit.

‘and i like your shirt, it's very tight. my sisters kept gawking over it. not going to lie that what noises my confidence to walk over to you a bit more’ she revealed making luke feel a whole lot better at how he always got jealous.

needing to know more he pulled apart and packed his hands along her waist—‘wait! so…were there other moments where you got jealous?’ he needed to know, bad.

while desperately looking at y/n for an answer she shyly looked down at the ground and back into his eyes before placing her finger over her lips as to show she couldn’t tell.

just before he could say anymore, she pulled apart slowly from him and made her way through the forest .

‘wait! y/n, baby— please? tell me i need to know!’ he desperately tried to get her to speak.

‘maybe!’ she yelled back with a smile. as luke followed her he smiled to himself and felt a bit giddy.

she actually got jealous over him? possibly even protective? this was too adorable to him.

running up and behind her grabbed her from hind and spinned her around in circles while she laughed. his kisses spread from her face to her neck.

[ron456]

AHHHHH- IM SO SICK OF THE BS I SWEAR-

FIRST OF ALL-

He doesn't "act naturally" or "normal" because HE'S AUTISTIC-

Will Roland portrays him as AUTISTIC so he's gonna act AUTISTIC-

ALSOOOO- IT'S BROADWAY, BABE- THEY NEED TO BE OVERDRAMATIC AND VERY EXPRESSIVE OTHERWISE THE PREFORMANCE DOESN'T CARRY THROUGH THE WHOLE THEATRE-

AND ANOTHER THING- Jeremy is supposed to be a "loser"-

he gets bullied and is misunderstood by his peers because he is, well, NOT CHILL-

HE'S "CHALANT" AS HELL-

He gets bullied because he cares about things too much, he's anxious, he's loud-

And in regards to the "can't hold a note for too long"- have you heard Loser, Geek, Whatever? Or More Than Survive? Or Two Player Game??? Song where he holds notes for quite a long time- ALSO- to say that Will Roland can't reach the same notes as Will Connolly is just... not true.

And one of the reasons I think some people think Will Roland is "a worse singer" is because, sometimes, stylistically, Will Roland will use a sort of falsetto/head voice (which I LOVE BTW AND IM SICK OF PEOPLE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE BAD SINGERS BECAUSE THEY USE HEAD VOICE- IT'S BEAUTIFUL, IMPRESSIVE, AND REQUIRES GOOD BREATH CONTROL TO MAKE IT NOT SOUND CRAPPY AND WILL ROLAND DOES IT AMAZINGLY) like when he says "hero" and "Rob Dinero" (idk if that's how you spell it 😭) in More Than Survive.

It's not that he's a bad singer, he is taking the brunt of his voice during those parts and also, given that it's this little solo/soliloquy moment for Jeremy, I think that Will Roland's choice to use a light head voice there is perfectly well-placed. It feels kinda personal, I guess. And I love it <3

Not to say that Will Connolly's way of singing it isn't also great. It's awesome! But like, guys, we can't keep getting pissed when a new actor in a show doesn't have the exact same singing voice as the original 😭 That's just silly, guys. 😭

(LIKE WHEN PEOPLE GOT PISSED AT ELIZABETH TEETER'S LYDIA FOR SOUNDING TOO MUSICAL THEATRE-Y?? LIKE. HUH?!? GUYS, IT'S BROADWAY- WHAT DO YOU MEANNN??? Sorry, I have feelings- Also, Shoutout to Elizabeth Teeter, btw, cuz' she slayed <3)

Anywaysss- back to Will Roland's voice- he is very much capable of hitting the notes that Will Conolly hits- if not higher (IT'S NOT A COMPETION THO, GUYS- PLS DONT COME FOR ME). For example, the acoustic version of Loser, Geek, Whatever on Spotify which, I believe, is a key higher than usual!! This man can belt some high notes when the situation calls for it! And also, (these are not really bmc related but whatever) during the harmony or whatever at the end of "Sincerely, Me", that is none other than WiLL RoLaND (!!!) hitting that high E (I'm pretty sure it's an E. I hope it's an E. But regardless, it's still a SUPER HIGH NOTE) at the end! And in "Amphibian" on Joe Iconis' album titled, well, "Album", Will Roland hits some insanely high notes!!! ( EVEN IF THEY ARE HEAD VOICE. I REPEAT, HEAD VOICE DOES NOT MEAN BAD SINGER!!)

Also, as a little additional statement to my "Jeremy is autistic/ autistic-coded so Will Roland played him as autistic"; this is not to say that Will Conolly didn't add some "autistic flare", if you will, to Jeremy. I mean, just yesterday I was freaking out with my friend about a gif of Will Conolly's Jeremy doing the autistic flappy hands :))). And I think that he was a good baseline for other Jeremy's to build off of!

Also, I feel like the people that are saying that Will Roland's portrayal of autism/neurodiversity is "ableist" or "incorrect" or "too dramatic" are sorta failing to understand/acknowledge that autism/neurodiversity is a spectrum. Not every person with autism or another kind of Neurodiversity is gonna act the same. And I think that's something really beautiful that we should all cherish. It is GREAT that we are all different but also, in many ways, the same!

And to see myself and my uncontrolled speaking voice and weird noises and such represented by Will Roland on stage is such a beautiful thing that I think 'ought to be cherished.

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[theeternalwombtarot]

why are they silent?

message: I’m feeling called to do this reading so I’m doing it. My posting and content schedule was literally all planned out and organized but I am unfortunately the embodiment of chaos however organized so now everything is all jumbled up. I think I’d love to have a little schedule and do all these wonderful things but I don’t believe that it’s really indefinitely the right direction for me to go in. I’m naturally spontaneous, I kind of go against the grain and go my own way all the time naturally and have done so since I was a child and so I think it’s time I live in my reality and find some acceptance here lol. I’m in the process of working through my drafts I have countless readings set up to be written and posted that I haven’t even tackled yet. Well anyways, hope this brings you peace and clarity.

***

i.

Guys, *deep dramatic sigh”, this person has a lot to say. I can’t stop channeling. It’s running through me like water lol. You could’ve stopped speaking to this person, cut them off, or cut them off from your energy all together here. Someone feels like something is incredibly unfair or unjust. They may feel like the world or the most high is against them and they feel like you slipping away from them is a manifestation of what it means to hit rock bottom. But , I don’t see you able to romanticize this, this person, this behavior, their feelings for you (any longer) you’ve expanded much too big or experienced what it means to be valued and you’re never going back there or you simply don’t resonate with this at this time.

channeled:

teenage dirt bag

I smoked away my brain- asap rocky

“Lowlife energy”

Disrespectful/disrespect

Peter Pan syndrome

“I don’t want to grow up.”

Catalyst

Life lessons

“Bigger than me” “you’re bigger than me.” “Larger than life.”

“It’s above me now.” “It’s out of my hands.”

Looking to the moon for answers

666- “a reminder to refocus and find balance in your life.” “a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence.”

777- “linked to self-discovery and personal growth” “a signal to get present with what's going on between you and your significant other”

8891- “centers around personal growth and development”

786- “centers around personal growth and development” “healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being”

**the angel numbers were insane, confirmation on confirmation***

Temptation

“The devil”

Forbidden fruit

Forbidden love

Unrequited. Unrequited love

“Are you finished with me?”

“Can I be your shadow?”

“Within you.”

Karmic cycles

Mirror

“See you again” -Tyler the creator, kali uchis

“Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? Because, I’m about to go to war and I don’t know if im going to see you again.”

“La la la” “ok ok ok”

Feminine/masculine

Opposites

Ends of the spectrum

Redbone- childish gambino

***

Someone is coming to a conclusion about you and about themselves through you. I get mirror energy here this could be twin flame connection that you’re keeping small here. There’s imagery of someone trying to blow out a candle, or a flame that’s flickering and small. It’s not being fed. A fire that’s dying. Whomever this person is, they’re receiving their karma for who they were to you, for not making the right decisions, for being disrespectful, for stumbling through life like it’s a joke. Your spirit guides, ancestors, deities, the divine, stand behind you so fiercely. Someone is feeling some sort of wrath here for who they were to you or what they’ve done to you. I just heard, “you’ll know loss.” Someone is going to have to rise out of the ashes like a phoenix, exorcise parts of them that have kept them stuck, be physically pulled away from karmic cycles and habits. Someone says, “they aren’t learning. They aren’t moving.”

They’re feeling very restless and burnt out here. Someone’s tired of fighting. Someone’s being brought to their knees. “I hear you haven’t seen or felt rock bottom yet.” I even hear an ancestor saying, “watch this.” I’m getting the imagery of very divine and large beings sitting in a row of chairs. Almost like the last supper or the imagery of it and looking down on what’s happening attentively. This person is undergoing large heart chakra openings or having an awakening here. The imagery of the ace of swords gives me the energy of someone pulling a sword from the earth, after it’s been buried for ages. Someone is finally picking up their sword or stepping into their power here. But I see you being completely inattentive to this here. If you’re even reading this right now this is a privilege to them to have you sit and see what it is they’re going through. Someone’s not available and has made themselves unavailable or out of reach.

This person is so stubborn, they’re hard headed, and they’ve sorted planted themselves firmly in their place and have refused to move. They’re obsessed with status or are obsessed with keeping up some sort of facade or reputation to protect themselves or make them appear invulnerable, heartless, reckless and damaging. This person could like to fight, could be someone whose met with a lot of criticism or always is pushing up against or things. Using or manipulating some sort of influence. I see you coming to terms with this person and not resonating with who they are and not seeing any admirable qualities within this person any longer. This person is going to have to fight their way through the thick of the situation that they’ve built for themselves, undergoing inner purging, arising out of karmic cycles, disconnecting from karmic connections in all sorts and shapes.

This person is avoiding making hard decisions and setting themselves apart from others and owning up to their mistakes and actions. Something about this persons lack of accountability may trigger deep childhood wounds within you of some sort or be a pet peeve that you dislike very intensely in others that you now dislike very intensely within them. This person has to make a choice. The right one this time after a long time of playing games with the divine and playing games within the lives of others. They’re going to have to be reborn and undergo immense transformation and change. And this is what is going on. There’s a massive tower moment in store for them they you won’t be there for or won’t be a bystander in. This is for them to experience all on their own. It’s very likely that you may find this persons demise satisfying or be apathetic towards their hard ship at this time, I almost typed heart ship. You may be apathetic toward their internal conflict and heartbreak as well. It’s a long time coming I heard.

Someone is allowing the scales to be balanced out and protecting themselves by being nowhere near this incoming explosion or tower moment. They won’t be stepping in, helping to protect this person from their karma, or hiding this person away from their shadows. I’m getting imagery of the shadow man or Dr. facilliers death in the princess and the frog. This person is so unattractive to you right now. After a long time potentially of being your wish fulfillment and end all be all.

Messages:

“ I’m scared somebody will take you from me.”

“ I let others interfere with our connection.”

“Go back to our spot.”

“I want to call/text you, but I’m afraid you won’t answer.”

“The warmth of your hands keeps my insecurities away.”

“Don’t give my love to anybody else.”

“I was too stubborn to admit that you were my person.”

“I need closure from you.”

***

ii.

everything is okay pile two, you can relax. You may feel tension in your neck, your back, and feel a lack of energy in your legs or have some leg pain. You’re purging energies, undergoing transformation, and getting ready to accept more gifts and more happiness. Make sure you prioritize your rest, your eating and your overall health. The color blue could be significant, beige or light shades of brown, the color white, doves, crows, cats, and spiders. Snakes as well. If you feel lost, answers are on the way. If you feel alone and/or abandoned, spirit is always standing with you and protecting you. Spirit will not allow you to be mislead, be hurt, or be put in situations that will destroy you. Your spirit guides and ancestors commend you. I hear round of applause, whistling, and chants of encouragement. I actually left and took my ass to bed after pile one because pile one’s energy was crazy asl, I actually know pile one in real life. Bless their heart for real. ANYWAYS!!

channeled:

Tangled up in you- the Alton’s

Heart to heart- Mac Demarco

Let’s stay together- al green

Tell it like it is- Aaron Neville

I put a spell on you- Nina Simone

Fade into you- mazzy star

Relaxation

Inner peace

Fulfillment

222 - you’re on the right path. “signifies good fortune in finances, relationships, and career, as well as a reminder to work towards your soul's purpose.” “symbolize balance, harmony, and spiritual alignment” “the time has come for you to be more self-reflective, and focused on the duality of situations”

444 - your spirit guides are protecting and supporting you. “conveys a powerful message of love, support, and guidance from your angels”

22 - “welcome balance, wisdom, and divine transformation into your life.”

12 - “something in your life has been completed, and it's time to turn your attention away from the past and look into the future.”

896 - personal growth & development. “896 encourages you to put your devotion and efforts towards your spiritual passions and interests, in turn, manifesting abundance and plenty into your life”

888 - “positive flow, abundance, and rewards are coming your way.” “Stay open to abundance in whatever form it appears, not just what we expect or want”

8 - infinite possibilities

0 - “the number 0 is ultimately about unconditional love. "The force of love is around you all the time, taking the form of other people, opportunities, and even moments of clarity”

65 - “Angel Number 65 is giving you a message from the guardian angels that your efforts to transform and improve your life are being appreciated by the divine energies.”

100 - “symbol of new beginnings, manifestation, and spiritual guidance.” “aligning oneself with eternity while finding balance between our inner world and outer reality so that true harmony may exist within us.”

110 - “it’s time to manifest your dreams.”

Sleep

Relaxation

Careful consumption of media

Deciding on morals & boundaries

Candles

Journaling

Shadow work

Smoke cleansing

Water cleansing

Detox

Rejuvenation

Chrysalis

Hibernation

Mother Nature

Mother Earth

The Moon

Menstrual cycle

Divine feminine energy

The metaphysical

Inner child

Inner compass

Erykah badu

***

pile two… this person.. this person.. I’m so obsessed. This person is open and genuine. They may have expressed to you so much already but anything their withholding is more and further confirmation of deeper feelings and desire to do more for you and offer you more love and more peace. You may be in a relationship with this person, this gives committed relationship vibes, it doesn’t give situationship vibes, nothing is in the air, there’s no dust kicked up or fog that’s obstructing the clarity of the situation. It is what the two of you say it is, it looks like exactly what it is. It sounds like exactly what it is, devotion. Amy winehouse “love is a losing game” just came on, I have it playing on my tv and I just turned it up because it’s playing so quietly all of a sudden when my volume is already high and everything else was loud and clear.

It kind of gives me the impression that anything within the energy of loss and heartbreak is over and silenced. Spirit is covering your ears and covering your eyes to perspectives and ideas that aren’t in alignment with this connection and the love you share. The song just ended, “tell it like it is” just came on, blaring loud I was like 🫨🫨🫨. This person is a real man or a real woman. They’re ready to love you, to give you everything. They’re asking that you be honest and bare your soul and tell me them how you feel. Pride aside, fear aside. This person loves you beyond the fear and ego. I’m getting sensual energy, it’s deep and it’s passionate lol I feel like someone is squeezing my heart right now. This person applies pressure or they really get you riled up. I���m feeling all of this persons feelings. I hear my heart in my ears, you know those chills you get when you listen to oldies, the blues, or that STANK face you make when you feel something deep in your spirit. This person is in your spirit, coursing through your veins right now lol. I haven’t even began reading through the cards. UGH! Unhand me immediately!!!

This is like an intensely passionate saxophone solo. If this person is silent in any way, it’s because they’re trying to take action in their lives to get themselves in a position to show you how much they love you in a material and physical aspect. They already have laid out so much love for you to have but they want to give you more. They want to over fill your cup. They fill your cup. Your cup is full but I keep hearing “more.” I’m seeing imagery here of a divine masculine giving you everything in his pockets or anything that he has and carries with him. For some of you this is a divine masculine energy. They know your love and devotion isn’t free and isn’t cheap. They’re willing to put it all on the line. They’re even becoming more enlightened spiritually. I see the imagery of the five of pentacles and one of the men on the card is looking up the sky here. This person is looking to the heavens behind you, looking to the divine, to the moon, to spirit. Showing their gratitude, asking for and manifesting success for them to give you, asking for and manifesting safety and protection over this connection.

This person is not undecided about you, they’ve made a decision. They have some self doubt about how well they’ll be able to show up for you or how able they will be to provide you with everything you deserve because they smell your divinity, they wouldn’t do wrong by you, betray you, or give you less than what you deserve. I’m hearing “don’t” by Bryson tiller. This person feels sorry for your exes. This person is ready to give you everything and do anything on your behalf and it only gets more intense everyday. This person is in their bag or about to be, making plans for the two of you, planning a future for the two of you, making decisions and making choices behind you and your influence and your presence in their life. Financial choices, spiritual choices, emotional choices.

This person is thinking of all the things the two of you can do together or build together it’s their primary focus. Any of this persons silence is them exercising self restraint or making room for you or for this connection to unfold and blossom naturally. They want you to feel safe and feel valued despite how passionate they feel or how much they want to envelope you in all of their love and desire. This person is levitating right now. They often feel they have to take moments to pull back and gather up their energy and bring themselves down from a high or an obsessive part of them that feels driven to you.

This person, in their silence, is constantly thinking about more ways to be honest with you, value your boundaries, express their own, communicate their feelings to you. This person wants to earn your trust and your devotion.

messages:

“ save the date.”

“ will you marry me?”

This person is most definitely thinking long term commitment, sees you as someone who could be their wife or husband. Wants to live harmoniously with you and have you for a long time ❤️

“you’re a witch.”

This person feels as though you have so much power over them. They constantly feel your influence. You could be into witchcraft or be into spirituality and manifestation and they believe in your power and divinity wholeheartedly. They don’t doubt you.

“You have so much power over me.”

“Healing my mother wound.”

You could’ve brought to light some maternal issues within this person or opened their eyes to the gravity of a situation regarding their mother.

“Sending you all my love.”

“You have my undivided attention.”

“Open your heart to me. Let me in.”

“Please wait for me.”

***

iii.

This reading is being done in such immensely high and free floating energy. Someone is relaxing into something or surrendering, I’m getting imagery of someone being fully submerged into something warm or something with healing properties or that has the intention of transforming and rejuvenating them and restoring magic within the spirit. I’m getting Steve lacy - infrunami. Someone was hiding in plain sight here or may have been hiding away on purpose but the both of you are being met with true devotion from one another. There’s a lot of passion and longing I’m feeling. Someone misses someone or has plans to come to someone and be near them. Spirit is telling me, “I’m giving you space to miss one another or come to terms with who one another really are and what you meant to one another after a long time of being right underneath each others noses” there’s this energy of truths being revealed, the light or divinity in someone or the both of you being revealed. Someone within this collective may be drawn to pile two or have messages in two piles.

channeled:

Love on the brain - Rihanna

Infrunami - Steve Lacy

Tears dry on their own - Amy winehouse

Mercy mercy - Marvin Gaye

Let’s stay together - Al Green

Wet dreamz - J. Cole

CPR - Summer Walker

Trust - Brent Faiyaz

(There is) no greater love - amy winehouse

Just another interlude- Bryson tiller

Glory box- Portishead

Wholeness

Accepting love

Energy of recieving

Gifts

Divine timing

Divine plan

“Proud of you.”

Appreciation

Music

66 - “a powerful symbol of balance and harmony.”

67 - “you are on the right path and to keep going.” “prosperity and good fortune are on their way.”

68 - “your angels are encouraging you to take a leap of faith and start something new”

88 - “great success, abundance, and prosperity.” “ This number's presence is a positive sign for matters of the heart, often associated with the abundance of love and blessings.”

99 - “spiritual growth and awakening” “it confirms that your bond is based on mutual respect, understanding, and love. But, there's always an opportunity to enter a new phase of even deeper connection.”

600 - “Your material security and wellbeing are protected. Balance, harmony, and stability in your relationships. Spiritual growth and higher understanding.”

666 - “ a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence”

789 - “number centers around healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being. It serves as a reminder that it's important to make sure your emotional, physical, and spiritual health are all taken care of.”

884 - “ a powerful reminder that you should stay open to what life brings your way. It's time to trust that everything is happening for a reason. The angels are reminding you to stay in alignment with your heart and soul. If you do, the universe will aspire to bring you what you need.”

200 - “conveys a message of hope and optimism for your future endeavors”

211 - “guides us to maintain balance and harmony within our relationships.” “a positive omen that learning to trust yourself will set you free”

Equal give & take

Space to be yourself

Satisfaction

Overcoming fears

Emotional stability

Messages/calls

Abundance

Self-care

Singing

Throat chakra

Chakra activation

Kundalini activation

Intense physical & emotional intimacy

Support

Devotion

Red roses

Vinyl records

1970s

History

***

This person is carrying with them a lot of emotional stress and burdens here but I also see them carrying themselves almost. Like they’re trying to hold themselves back from coming face to face with you on a deep and personal level. This person is having hard time and is tired and a little burnt out from feeling as though they have to suppress their devotion or their love for you. This person is incredibly attached to you as well as sexually attracted to you. They may hide from you or try to create space between the two of you so that you won’t see just how much they like you or how much they want to be with you, how much they want to be intensely intimate with you. This person overthinks a lot, they’re an anxious person and they’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of you or disappointing you. This person also feels like they might inconvenience you greatly by being authentic with you due to past connections and heart break that made them seem or feel like they weren’t important or valued or weren’t owed loyalty or devotion because of the way they were when they they showed up honestly. This persons needs weren’t met and their nervous system is in overdrive trying to overcome their fear of being close to someone again despite how much they love they hold for you in their heart.

Someone in this persons past may have gaslit them or told them that they weren’t as special as they advertised themselves to be or that their love and support wasn’t genuine or wasn’t worth fighting for or sticking around for or their portrayed this to them through actions. This person has been tired, carrying a lot of tension in their bodies, or are burnt out from how much energy it takes for them to keep themselves from you. Heard the worst by Jhene aiko, not necessarily the whole entire song but “I don’t need you but I want you.” And “I don’t mean to, but I love you.” But this person, they’re afraid, because they think that they love you but are afraid to tell you or reveal their love to you through words and action. This person feels as though you’re meant for them and they constantly feel the need to apologize for pushing you away or holding off from you out of fear.

This person adores you, they care for you genuinely, and they feel they’ve been blessed with and given divine love. You may come as a surprise to this person, you catch them off guard, or appeal to them in a profound way due to past experiences. I hear this person hoping and wishing that nothing takes you away from them. This person is in a constant state of healing and transformation in order to accept you. Manifesting their fear away, taking steps to let you see them, practicing putting down their weapons, leaving their past in the past, and breaking down the walls they’ve built around themselves in order to call and manifest true love and now you’ve arrived and the walls are ready to come crashing down. This person is reprioritizing things within their life as well. They could’ve had to shift into their dark feminine energy if this is a feminine energy. This person could’ve had to remove people from their lives, undergo a lot of purging, awakening and healing in order to put themselves in their divinely ordained position to receive love and love themselves.

This person is coming to terms with the fact that the worst is over and they won’t have to fight anymore and that they can fall into you finally and be taken care of and loved correctly. They’re in the process of coming to terms with the fact that the past is in the past and they no longer have to revisit it or hold onto it. That they’re safe. That nothing else can harm them any longer.

messages:

“Every song reminds me of you.”

“You taught me what real love is.”

“Divine masculine.”

you represent true masculine energy to this person. True divine masculine energy. Especially if you identify as the divine masculine within this connection.

“You have a lot of heart.”

“Lover.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t understand my feelings.”

“Forgive me.”

“My souls purpose is to love you & be loved by you.”

*double confirmation about spending time apart.*

***

Hope this served you right and brought you Justice and true clarity! I enjoyed curating this reading, thank you for co-creating my reading by being apart of the beautiful collective, by loving my work, by being patient with me! You are so loved and valued. ❤️!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Consider me one of your younger followers who's still trying to figure out their aroace-ness.

How do i really know im aroace when i dont even know how love is supposed to feel like? Sometimes, i think i like a few ppl just a little bit. I have seen myself turn a little gay for some women. (Idk if there's a better way to say it) and feel jealous of other women having partners(mostly male partners)

I do relate to being aroace. But sometimes these doubts come up.

Am i really aroace? Or it it just a phase of mine?

P.S I love your comics🤍

Sorry for the late reply! TwT

I'll be honest, from personal experience... I don't know how love is supposed to feel like either. I thought maybe I felt it in the past but it never got remotely close to things that are described ad nauseam to us in media and popular culture. I never got it. The biggest emotional high I ever got was making sincere friends or feeling connected to my family or accomplished with art. So I came to the conclusion that I'm aro. I don't think a gay person ever understood what it feels like to be attracted to someone of the opposite gender either, so... That's my reasoning for it I guess. I'm aro SO I can't be expected to understand romance. That's kind of the point in my head. And even then, aromanticism is a broad spectrum, so it's very possible it's full of people whose understanding and feeling of romance varies or may even fluctuate.

So to be honest, if you feel that "aroace" defines you properly, and because it's a pretty wide spectrum, I'd say that yes, you really are, and no, it's not a phase, and heck, even if that understanding of yourself came to change for a different orientation in the future, that's OK too. What matters is that you feel happy with yourself.

...I'll also add tbh that being aro and ace is kind of a losing deal cus even within LGBTQ+ spaces you're gonna be invisibilised and othered, so... I doubt you'd be calling yourself "aroace" just to be temporarily cool or whatever. It was never perceived as cool or a good thing by society at large. It's a battle one doesn't pick. If throughout all of that invisibilization, allosexual and alloromantic-spamming and looking-down-upon you still managed to come to the conclusion that it's a good definition for you, I'd say that's pretty telling. I dunno.

On one last note, I'm not sure if the jealousy you feel of other women having partners is directed towards the women because they have partners, or towards the partners because they're with these specific women, but if it's the former at the very very least, I don't think it's incompatible with being aro. Again, society spams us so much with the idea that having a steady romantic partner is the only way you won't end up alone in the world, that it's hard not to be scared of being lonely when we have that identity sometimes. And the alternative sounds so much easier, even if we couldn't get it the exact same way most people do unless we forced ourselves to act in a way that's not "us" deep inside.

...Welp, that's my feelings on it at least, but yeah, the asexual and aromantic spectrums are so wide in the experiences they cover that I couldn't hope to cover everyone's experience within them. I just hope that this helped you feel a little more confident about it. With the way society is, it's made very hard for us not to doubt ourselves sometimes, but I don't feel we deserve to doubt ourselves that much.

I dunno. That's how I feel about it at least. I hope that helps TwT

(Also thank you so much for the kind words!!)

[thekingofwinterblog]

Was Ragatha a Mom?

So watching Digital Circus, it struck me that there are a lot of contradictions with Ragatha.

She is obviously a very caring person, as we see with her interactions with Pomni, but she also sucks at actually helping her feel better, as we see with the absolute trainwreck that was her innitial attempt at trying to make Pomni feel better after Gummygoo's death.

She still has the spirit to visually disaprove of Jax and his violent and cruel actions, but she doesnt have it in her to actually physically stand up to him unlike Zooble.

And of course there is the way she always puts on a brave face, and refuses to act like even the worst of Pomni's or the other peoples around her bother her.

Obviously there is a lot of context here we are missing. But there was one line from episode 2 that finally seemed to make it click for me.

"Im not a child. You don't have to hype me up."

That line made me realize jusy how, well... Motherly Ragatha acts. And she doesn't just act motherly, she acts like one, very specific kind of mother.

Ragatha acts like the kind of mother who ALWAYS, wheter it is warrented or not, pretends to be fine, that there is nothing wrong, because she believes that the worst thing that she could do would be to act worried, afraid or hysterical, as that might make her kids scared.

And when she talks with Jax, rather than treating him as a violent adult, she treats him like a child she needs a stern talking to.

As if she could actually make him change his ways by doing it, rather than actually taking him to task about his actions.

It again speaks of a very specific kind of mother, who tries to be stern when such is needed, but frankly has no backbone to actually discipline her kid.

On the other end of the spectrum, when Pomni actually hurts her, rather than actually talking it out, she pretends everything is fine, like it wasn't a big deal.

Even her saying that Pomni's moments of weakness was "understandable" as she pretends it didn't mean anything is her effectively saying that Pomni "didn't know any better", as one might say to a child.

The fact is, Ragatha treats Pomni like a child, more speciffically a child she has to protect, cheer up, and guide, rather than an actual adult woman who is her equal.

The single biggest showcase of this is how she talks to Pomni after Gummygoo's death... When she essentially treats her like a Kid who just tried something really, really hard, and gave it her best, only to in the end hit the wall and be crushed by the fact what She attempted was impossible... But still, she tried her best, and that's important. And hey, maybe it's not as bad as you think after all.

Rather than... You know, an adult woman who just had one of her friends murdered in front of her eyes.

Well meaning certainly, but incredibly(And unitentionally) condecending.

It's only when Ragatha stops trying to baby her, and gives her a bit of actual adult heart to heart that she finally manages to make Pomni feel better.

Beyond this, Ragatha also has a body language that is very connected with a steretypical, feminine, motherly image.

She puts her hands together in front of as a clearly natural pose for her, when angry she puts her hands on her hips which comes across like a stereotypical angry mother/caretaker that wants to show how upset she is right now, and she is constantly running about trying to make others(usually Pomni) feel better.

With this in mind, assuming that Ragatha is a mother, lets try to figure out what we can from her age.

Ragatha is 30 Years old, and judging by her comment at the end of episode 2, we can presume she's been there a while.

Now withouth knowing how often a new human enters the circus it's impossible to be entierly sure about how long she's been there, but let's say 3-6 years, given she's well familiar with people abstracting.

That means that at the absolute most(Assuming she didn't get pregnant under the age of 18) that her kid(Or oldest kid) could be up towards 12 years old now, and that she dissapeared from their lives probably when they were 6-9, which lines up with the way she treats Pomni and Jax.

The reason she sucks so badly at cheering others up despite being a very caring person, is that her first instict is to act in her familiar role as a mother figure... But she was ripped away from that role just as her kid was growing old enough to grow out of the baby/little kid stage of their development, and need actual discipline and guidance rather than protectiveness and comfort above everything else.

In other words, she never got to actually develop those skills, being ripped away from her role prematurely, and finding herself in the hell that is the Amazing Digital Circus, where she gets to befriend person after person after person, only to see them end up dying one after another.

Truly the worst hell for such a caring person who just wanted to be a mom.

[akutasoda]

Hello! I’m new to your blog but I love it sm! Id like to request hcs or possibly short fics for Nikolai, Poe, and possibly Akutagawa (separately) x fem!reader who is really nice but rarely ever talks (also this is a romantic request btw 😭)

sincerely of silence

synopsis - preferring not to talk to people but still be nice was a difficult balance, only one person saw both at the same time

includes - akutagawa, nikolai, poe

warnings - fem!reader - however not specified just thought of while writing, fluff, wc - 404

a/n: hello anon! im glad you enjoy it!

akutagawa ryunosuke ★↷

↪when he first had met you, he thought not much of you. yes you were quiet and he did like that but other than that he had no other options on you.

↪but after you two had gotten vloser he realised that beneath all the silence you were actually a genuine nice person. someone that supported him and always tried to help him. a small part of him was feeling quite smug that he would receive your kind nature because you two were close.

↪nothing changed that much when you two had started dating. if anything you only became nicer towards him but still remained quite silent when anyone else was around, rarely speaking to others of your own choice.

↪wouldn't really push you into being more talkative, he isn't really himself, but would be content with knowing that you are hapoy talking to him and secretly revels in the niceties you show him.

nikolai gogol ★↷

↪complete opposite ends of thr spectrum. most people wiuld be shocked initially that you two would get along but they do say opposites attract. would want to find out why you are so silent but quickly realises he's not going to get anywhere without you willingly telling him.

↪but as you got closer, and eventually together, would absolutely love that you were a nice person deep down. also revels in the fact that your incredibly nice to him and actually talk to him.

↪would try at first to push you into talking more, but if you're uncomfortable or unwilling to he eould stop and just let you do your thing.

↪very much the definition of that one trend of 'lalala' and 'okokok'

edgar allan poe ★↷

↪you two had gotten on surprisingly well upon first meeting. you shared a few similarities and that meant you two understood why the other was like the way they were. although you were much less likely to talk to people than he was.

↪but as you two got closer he noticed that you were a very genuine person and just either struggled or didn't like talking to people. and as you got even closer and more comfortable around each other he truly realised you were a very nice person.

↪again wouldn't push you into becoming more talkative, kind of would be hypocritical of him. and definitely would understand whatever reason you have for being so silent despite being one of the nicest people talk to.

[andhumanslovedstories]

hello this is kind of heavy and no pressure at all to answer. and apologies because im sure you must have answered this before. but do you go through like a pain management flow chart for your patients and if so what are some of the steps? my dad is having some medical issues and i want to be able to help him manage his pain as much as i can. thank you and enjoy wasteland!

I work in a hospital setting so my pain management care plan is part of an interdisciplinary team in that setting. It's relatively easy for me to get, say, IV pain meds for a patient with extreme breakthrough pain. I don't know how well my approach would translate outside of that setting, I'm not palliative care trained, and I don't personally deal with chronic or acute pain (which is why I'm answering this publicly so other people can chime in), but in broad strokes:

First: Define pain. What type of pain is it? Muscle pain? Indigestion? Neuropathy? Surgical site? Stiffness from lack of movement? Is part of the pain also the fear of the pain? Sometimes when pain has been bad for a long time, or even has been bad in a short-term but very notable way, the idea of hurting that bad again is traumatizing. That fear of pain can, unfortunately, make you focus more on the pain you're feeling because now it's not just the physical sensation of pain, it's also the psychological impact of it.

Then, how does the pain affect you? Is it stopping you from sleeping? Is it stopping you from eating? Is it making you short-tempered or depressed? Does it make it difficult to focus on things? Does it make you nauseated? Anxious? Isolated? Do you feel like you need to hide it from those who care about you?

Everything pain is and affects is a place where you can intervene. Some of these interventions will be very small and would, if they were the only intervention, feel completely inadequate. Pain relief is rarely "you do one thing and you're done." You're addressing pain on multiple fronts, and sometimes that doesn't mean your focus isn't just the reduction of pain but the restoration of what pain has taken away. It's possible the worst part of pain for you isn't the pain itself but, for example, the immobility it causes. Are there different ways you can learn to move? Can you get a grabber? Can you get a shower chair? Can you find physical therapy exercises that help you regain strength or stop you from deconditioning to the degree you're able? What mobility aids might restore movement to you?

And if returning mobility is not possible at this time or ever, how can you modify your environment to support you? Can you figure out what bothers you the most about that immobility and mitigate that? If it's annoying that not being able to leave bed makes you bored, what can be within arm's reach? If it's frustrating that being too painful to move means you feel isolated from other people, can you make wherever you are more central? If pain makes having your bed on the second floor unfeasible, can you move your bed to the first floor? How can you adapt the environment around you?

I'd encourage movement too, to the degree it is possible. Being in the same position HURTS. If it feels good to stretch but you can't do it by yourself, can someone help you with range of motion? (You can look up "passive range of motion" to get an idea of how to do that.) This doesn't need to be exercising, just exploring the joy of moving your body. Related to movement is physical touch. I love lotions and medicated creams for pain patients because you can turn them into massages. Just be careful with pressure and be open about what hurts and what feels good. At the most gentle end of the spectrum is something called the M Technique which isn't even massage, it's like guided gentle touch. Give the body something else to feel.

Different medications work better with different types of pain. This part is hard to talk about in general because of the specificity of some pain med regiments. Tylenol is great, but be cautious with how much you are taking (acetaminophen overdoses are no joke) and remember that there's a point where more tylenol doesn't mean more pain relief. Opioids are great, but they can be very dangerous and aren't well-indicated for a lot of types of chronic pain. Even if opioids work best, I'd encourage you to be working on pain reduction on multiple fronts, as opioids are so controlled, it is easy to lose access to them. If opioids give you enough pain relief to do physical therapy, then make sure to do that physical therapy. Medications are amazing and I love them and I give out PRNs like crazy, but similarly to how I can't just take my depression meds and stop being depressed, pain medication works best in conjunction with other strategies. Those other strategies though can literally be something like "tramadol takes away the pain enough I can focus on something, and what I want to do with that focus is to watch a movie I've been meaning to rewatch for a while now but haven't had the spoons for." Sometimes all you will want to do when you get pain meds is sleep because you can't when you're hurting. Sleep is wonderful; how can you arrange your sleeping place and habits to make sleeping even more of a delight?

And if you find a medication that works, use it consistently. It is always easy to keep pain level than it is to address a pain spike. Don't wait until symptoms are at their worst to address them. Figure out what it feels like when your symptoms are ramping up, and intervene early.

Sometimes medications that aren't explicitly for pain can still help. If anxiety makes pain worse, consider an anxiety medication. If coughing hurts, can you get a numbing spray from your throat to make it less sensitive so you cough less?

I don't know how useful this is to you and your family. Hopefully it's at least something to think about. Think about palliative care (which is about the management of symptoms of illnesses rather than the treatment of illnesses) as not just taking away bad sensations but restoring good ones. You can't always get someone to a place with no pain. But what can you do to enhance life in the presence of that pain? There is a psychological aspect to pain, it's a parasite that drains you and makes you feel like you are nothing but a body that hurts and won't stop hurting. I want to make clear, I'm not saying pain is only in your mind. Bone mets and nerve pain exist whether you're cheerful about it or not. But pain doesn't have to mean suffering, it doesn't have to take away the things that make you you. Address pain through medication and therapies, but also remember that protecting, promoting, and prioritizing the parts of yourself that you most value and give you the most joy will help give your life so much substance that pain can't rob it all. You aren't doing one big thing. You are doing a thousand small things that make life easier, better, more suited to yourself and your abilities, and more aligned with the parts of life that you that give your life meaning.

(And a note in particular for being the family member of someone in pain--ultimately, they are going through this alone. It is their body. What can you make smoother for them? How can you protect their dignity and their privacy without making them feel abandoned or alone? How can you make it so your reaction to their pain is not part of their burden? Like for the six hundred other hypothetical questions in this endless post, the answers will be highly personal and will take time to figure out. Be patient and calm.)

[sirenc0re]

hello, sirenc0re! i come here to ask if you have any RTC character headcanons that you wouldn't mind divulging?

ohhh i have a few! these are somewhat disorganized, i dont think ive really shared these outside of a single reddit comment. anyways:

penny loves boybands ofc (backstreet boys, nsync, obviously 'seven up' before it split) but further than that i think she likes 60s-70s pop too- fleetwood mac, kate bush, the beatles, etc

ezra is the one that's genuinely really into gangsta rap. NWA, tupac, snoop, dr dre... and of course eminem (though he isnt really a gangsta rapper. it's adjacent) i think rap in general is something he likes. though he's like, a smartass. so i think that at least early on he would "like" it the same way he likes penny's boybands (something to mock as the pinnacle of empty and vapid commercialism) before he actually starts appreciating it as art (JK-47 notwithstanding) and not something he has to prove against. so im saying he would genuinely like tribe called quest. it's in my mind. i am manifesting it. as a side note, i jokingly wanted to be like AND HE LISTENS TO MACKLEMOREEEE but im a hard ass and in the timeline that exists in my head it's 2009. and in 2009 mackle had the penis song as the first track of his debut album. make of that what you will

ocean's whole straight-lace schtick is her twisted version of a teenage rebellion against her hippy parents. she also makes herself seem better off than she actually is. im of the firm belief that pretty much everyone in uranium (except perhaps constance's parents and misha's adoptives) is broke. and i think that with her parents lifestyle, ocean would be on the lower end of that spectrum and it's a big insecurity of hers that she tries very hard to project against to varying degrees of success

noel says he was saving up to go to france, but if you looked at his bank account there would be maybe 200~ saved there. most of his wages went to supporting himself and his single mother

post-cyclone au, i think ocean would shift away from politics and become a personal injury attorney

post-cyclone au, ricky becomes a sci-fi erotica author… i like to think he's extremely successful in that particular niche

post-cyclone au, ocean and noel's relationship becomes wayyy less hostile. they still 'fight' but all the venom has been sucked out of their words. one time he tripped her in the hallway inbetween class periods, which prompted her to halfheartedly kick his ankles, which leads to a 'fight' that gets her in trouble in school for the first time in an actual decade (she's pissed)

post-cyclone au, constance's epiphany about life being beautiful makes her a lot more bold. which is to say she now has the confidence to go on a million little sidequests for no other reason than to experience the bounties of existence. penny wants to go to a concert 3 hours away but she's still banned from the bus? constance knows how to drive and the unlimited trust of her parents, hop in

very much inspired by ray winter's take on misha when he was answering asks about it so i've absorbed it because it makes sense: misha was a class clown back home and pretty well-liked. he's such a solid and passionate dude, and way more kind than he's allowed to be because everything in canada seems to hate him. i believe that his 'attitude' problem mostly stems from loneliness, (which is kinda exerted on him but also enforced by him after a certain point since i think he retracts himself into his phone with talia rather than be in the real world where he is miserable) and that he would have done so much better if he had one genuine friend he could talk to. in a post-cyclone au, he gets a bunch of those, and no longer feels like all of those emotions are being stiffled or bottled up

those are all the HCs that are relevant i think ^_^

[redstonedust]

Unpopular opinion: Joel Smallishbeans is way too often mischaracterized as uncaring simply for having sarcastic disposition and dead-pan voice, but he’s actually one of the most caring ppl on the server (even more proven by last session)

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

again this isnt charactrerization i see very often (im picky with fics and such so i think ive just. mostly encountered the GOOD joel writers,) but like yeah ur right, imo he's the classic ''bullys his friends and masks sentiment with jokes'' type but he absolutely does care. ironically i feel like lizzie is on the other end of the spectrum as someone who seems very kind and sweet but plays her character as so delightfully self centered and arrogant on the downlow LMAO.

[nkgrimmie]

One of my side fic ideas I'm toying with is that Orange accidentally makes Alan into a stick figure during Showdown (instead of bringing the giant cursor back, his powers work on his I'm-about-to-pass-out nonsense desire for Alan himself to be there.) and because I keep seeing these SCP-AU posts, my brain has unhelpfully supplied this nonsense:

What if Orange gets so scared for Alan that he accidentally stick-ifies him, his powers perhaps acting on his desire of desperately wanting Alan to be somewhere safe/safe with them?

Alan's just in the middle of them testing him when all of a sudden his body just collapses like a sack of potatoes, completely unresponsive and virtually brain dead because everything that makes him 'Alan' has just been yoinked right out of him.

Meanwhile, Alan just pops into existence on the computer, and probably proceeds to freak the hell out.

Orange probably isn't even aware that HE did it too, so literally no one would be able to get answers about what happened. Orange and Alan himself are just as confused as everyone else.

Anyway, sorry for this weirdness, just had to get it out of my brain.

(NO ITS OKAY I LOVE WEIRDNESS!! WEIRDNESS IS LIKE MY WHOLE BRAND THAT'S WHO I AM)

[ALSO, that is SUCH a cool fic idea!!! anything with stick!alan is absolutely amazing, especially when his body isn't just gone...]

OKOKOK SO

imagine what would happen when he collapses... they flip him over and check him over and he has a pulse and is breathing but he's completely unresponsive other than reflex movements...

oohhhohohohoh it would he so fucked if it happened while running an experiment that they hadn't done with him before, probably ending in them thinking the test somehow caused it... oh my

okay but imagine if not everything was taken away from his human body... im already planning on doing weird body stuff in this au so why not talk about this?? imagine if most of him was in the stick, but a little bit was still leftover in the human?? just enough to carry out basic human functions, like eating, walking, using the... you know, understand language, etc. but not enough to fully comprehend what's going on. like not where it's like he's brain damaged or anything, just that he's very very very dazed and somewhat unaware and seems distracted all the time, but sometimes he seems more aware, almost to a normal level, but those would be very short... im sorry i absolutely LOVE this sort of stuff. like the kind of "one soul two bodies" stuff where they're not actually separate or anything, it's just one person that's on a spectrum between body 1 and body 2, and is capable of moving around in said spectrum

oo oo oo or imagine if the transfer wasn't but instead was a little more drawn out... with him feeling dazed and tired, unable to think or even feel clearly, before slipping away into the computer completely... that doesn't really have to do with the SCP au i just wanted to say that SKSLJBDJ

thank you so much for the supplied nonsense. you've given me thoughts to distract me from schoolwork

[starnervefan]

hii ^_^ do you have any starnerve fics reccomendations? i think ive read them all and im content deprived😭

Yeah same, I'm not much of a writer otherwise I would gladly fix this issue myself. All I can do is hope and pray that some good writers write something for Starnerve that's halfway decent (well- that and beg/pester my friend to do it because they're a good writer lol)

As for recs, I have several, although you've probably read at least some of these. But anyway here are some ancient fics from the days of yore that I really enjoyed, but may or may not be necessarily Starnerve: (under the cut, it's long)

Subconscious by KQSimply: Very well written, it's not really Starnerve but can be read that way. It's pretty dark so fair warning. The author also wrote an additional ending that makes things even darker and bittersweet. (I also highly recommend all of the author's work)

The Curious Feeling of Butterflies by KQSimply: A sweet, short (unfinished) exploration of Fear's one-sided feelings for Joy. I really liked it despite being unfinished, it felt really believable to the characters

One Imaginary Outing by Coffee Fueled Author: An adorable story where Fear and Joy go on a date. (I may or may not have drawn something inspired by this fic- you'll have to go digging for it.) I also recommend Coffee's other fanfic "Out of Place", but it's unfinished so bear that in mind if that bothers you.

A Light in the Darkness by Coffee Fueled Author: A sweet one-shot where Fear has a nightmare and Joy comforts him

Spectrum by cutterjohns: Short and to the point, Fear has a crush on Joy

Emotion Sickness and Fright or Flight by DanniB: These are together because they kind of tie into each other in a really cute way. Neither necessarily involve shipping but the interactions between Joy and Fear were squeal-inducingly cute (and funny!) in my opinion. Fright or Flight focuses more on the friendship between Sadness and Fear.

A Smile is Still Worthwhile by R_Clearwater: Another short and sweet one that describes how much Joy cares for Fear. I appreciate this one greatly

Taking Care by UntoldStories113: It's not really Starnerve but it's Fear-focused and reading it again after the sequel came out, it's become even more believable with the idea that Riley can choose/control her emotions and not just the other way around. I remember liking the interactions between Fear and Joy and the other characters too, it's a good story imo

Thrilled by UntoldStories113: More cute interactions between Joy and Fear, also Fear showing off how good he is during "a crisis"

I think that's all for now. Those are some of my top favourites that I go back and re-read

Thanks for the ask 💜

[changbinsboobs]

Hello! I really love your readings. Thank you for doing so many even when you seem to be really busy. I was wondering if you could do a reading on who in skz seems to be the most charitable? I’ve seen readings where Felix and Lee Know are both mentioned a lot, but I was wondering about the others too. Also, I’ve always wondered who would be the kind to help around the house? This will really fuel my delulu lol. Like I said earlier, I know you’re probably really busy and get a lot of requests, so please take your time ❤️ have a nice day

Hello:) thank you so much💗✨ after an almost month long break I'm back. I loved that question and been wanting to do it for a while so here it is

Im actually pleasantly surprised cuz the majority of the group is very charitable actually, we've heard a lot about lee know and felix but theres others to that do a lot for charity.

1. Hyunjin & Felix

- Felix's too charitable for his own good, i think he might have a tendency to help anyone and anything with all he has to the point where he might actually put himself in poverty or even dangerous situations. Seems like theres no boundaries at all, which is a lovely trait but he has to be careful not to be taken advantage off as i see a huge potential for that. (Death+QoW)

- As for Hyunjin he seems like the one that has the most ongoing charities. Like not a one time donation but continuously pouring money in in different causes. I'm also seeing him scrolling insta for example and seeing some of those videos "donate 1 dollar to afford this animals surgery" and his eyes filling with tears and him immediately donating 300. His heart is easily touched and he truly enjoys helping. (9oC)

2. Lee Know

- He is also very charitable but he has a niche i would say. Like he has 2-4 main causes he believes in strongly and wants to support and focuses his donations, care and engagement towards them with a long term mind set and actual purpose behind it. Like he has a goal in his mind and a certain charity supports that so he feeds into it and awaits a change in the future and his goal to be fulfilled. While hyunjin does it out of impulse and because he enjoys helping, Lee Know does it for ~the future~. (10oC +THP)

3. Changbin

- Also very charitable but i feel like he has a much narrower spectrum of what he donates to. But the sums donated are HUGE. And seem more like "one time donations" instead of continuous support in smaller sums like with the last two. Changbin is very generous but is not charity focused with his money like all of the previous guys, instead when there's something or someone that touches his heart and resonates deeply with him, he opens his heart (and his pocket) for it/them and gives A LOT until all is covered or until that person/cause is helped. Its like he helps "people" get back on their feet. And then moves on to his everyday stuff. So yeah some sort of personal & emotional connection is needed for him to express his generousity. (QoC)

4. Chan

- So until here i would classify the guys as the charitable ones and from here on i'd say the following ones are kind of mid-neutral. As for Chan i see him ocasionally donating here and there but i think its done partly because he just has to as a duty for someone who has lots of money. And i think thats also fine at the end of the day help is help when it arrives where it needs. But im not seeing the authentic need and desire to help like i do with the others. He just does it as a duty and of course feels nice when he sees his donation helping people/animals etc. but yeah, he's not so intense about it. (AoP)

5. Seungmin

- He does do charity frequently actually, but i see it not being so much as donating large sums to organizations but actually being part of organizations or getting hands on experience helping people. Of course he donates as well but i don't see him spending sums as large as hyunjin or changbin or even chan. More of his help vomes from his own self. I think this also brings him lots of joy and fulfillment. (PoS)

6. Han

- There's not much to explain here, he finds the idea of charity amazing and wants to help lots of charities, but there are so many he can't really choose/commit to one or a few specific ones. I see some procrastination there and analysis paralysis. I think he wants to donate long term but for now he's just doing one time donations here and there and researching ethical products and websites, artists etc, that he supports. So yeah he wants to, but lets himself get distracted a lot. (7oC)

7. I.N

- This is actually quite surprising for me but i would see he seems like the only one that doesn't engage in charity or at least doesn't enjoy it. I would say he either has some financial worries right now or he has A LOT on his plate and the last thing on his mind right now is charity. That could change tho, as you know energy is constantly fluctuating and changing, so he might just be in a phase of immense stress and overwhelm thus why he ranked last. Cuz judging by his horoscope, his personality, the overall energy I've been getting from him and things he has said himself - he's quite the humanitarian. So take his positioning with a grain of salt. (10oW)