#their feelings without bigoted judgement?

[honeyed-disgraceful]

If you use men's mental health only as a counter argument in a gender disparity debate then you don't give a shit about men's mental health

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Taivan dynamic is so much more painful if you think they were just hooking up pre-crash, not involving their emotions at all, just Van who was pretty easy to clock as gay & Tai who wanted to kiss a girl and thought Van wouldn’t mind.

Like if pre-crash, they never thought about being anything more than teammates who sometimes made out in the empty locker room. Then everything changed in the wilderness when all of a sudden there wasn’t a society full of bigots all around them and both of them were able to explore their sexualities & feelings for each other pretty much without judgement.

I personally look at their relationship as only happening because of those factors — before the crash, I don’t think Tai ever would’ve thought of confessing her feelings for Van. We see her cutting her hair in season one, seemingly getting more comfortable with being a bit more masc (similarly, in season two, after she leaves Simone she stops doing her makeup and starts dressing in progressively more masculine clothing). Essentially we know that when Taissa is out of “public” view & with Van, she stops performing femininity as much. So I feel like her ability to really be with Van was entirely dependent on the perceived safety of their isolated wilderness society. I focus on Taissa in this mostly because Van appears more comfortable with gender expression, as well as with romantically pursuing Taissa, whereas Tai seems to occasionally hesitate. We also know from Ally’s pre-crash comment about Van not being asked to prom that Van was probably either clocked as gay at school or just thought of as unromantic, whereas I think Tai would’ve had a much easier time passing for straight.

And in that way, it’s like a relationship that was formed entirely in the controlled environment of the wilderness. I cannot imagine coming to terms with your sexuality as a teen, going through the entire process of cutting your hair, publicly coming out to all your friends, and experiencing all your queer milestones, only to be rescued and returned to a place where you were still thought of as straight. Like, Tai and Van were sleeping in bed together every night, kissing in public, making little “happy wife, happy life” comments to their friends, and just generally being gay together. And then they would’ve returned to the 1990’s where that kind of queer love would’ve been, at the very least, unusual & surprising. It’s not difficult to imagine this driving them apart. But it is really heartbreaking to imagine the two of them being separated immediately upon being rescued & the realization they must’ve both had that they couldn’t stick together anymore without outing themselves.

[solarmorrigan]

Holding hands during a stressful situation, from the Physical Intimacy Prompts list

-

Eddie kills the engine, sending the interior of the van into silence.

Neither he nor Steve makes a move to get out.

He lets two minutes pass in excruciating silence before murmuring, “Appointment’s gonna start soon.”

Steve huffs, still staring out the windshield. “This is stupid,” he mutters.

“Steve,” Eddie sighs; he’d promised to stick with Steve through the whole thing, and he will, but Christ, he’s getting tired of this argument. “You have to go, you can’t–”

“I know that, Eddie,” Steve snaps. “I’m not actually that delusional. I know I need glasses, okay? What’s stupid is being afraid to go in to the goddamn eye doctor’s.”

He goes back to staring at the “Hawkins Optical” sign hanging above the door of the office they’ve parked across from, glaring like it’s issued a personal challenge.

And there isn’t much Eddie can do to help at the moment, he knows; he’d come along for moral support, but he can’t lean over and gather Steve up into a hug like he’d like to, or press a kiss to the side of his head. It’s broad daylight, and they’re fully visible in the front of the van, and Eddie didn’t escape persecution at the hands of one bigoted mob only to get them strung up by another.

He settles for reaching over and taking Steve’s hand from where it’s clenched into a fist on top of his thigh, and instead holds it in his own, carefully low near the gearshift.

“You wanna tell me why you’re afraid to go in?”

For a long minute, Steve is silent. He stares straight ahead, not even reacting to Eddie’s hand curled over his, and Eddie thinks for a moment that he’s going to refuse to elaborate and just go inside (and Eddie doesn’t doubt that he will go in; he and Robin had had a bitch of a time getting Steve to set up the appointment at all, but now that he’s promised to go, he’ll follow through – Eddie just wishes he knew why he was so reluctant at all).

Then, just when Eddie is wondering if they’re going to be late, Steve says softly, “It keeps taking things from me.”

Eddie doesn’t have to ask what it is. He squeezes Steve’s hand, and this time Steve turns his palm up so he can thread their fingers together.

“At first it was my ability to just… sleep through the night, then it was the migraines, and then – like, my left ear is a little screwed up and I know that might get worse one day and I’ll have to do something about that, too, but now it’s…” Steve sighs, pressing his free hand to his eyes and letting his head hang. “I knew it was a problem, but I just – if I actually did something about it, then it would be real, and I…”

Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand again, even though the gesture feels woefully inadequate. Steve takes a sharp breath in and sits up, uncovering his eyes and running his hand through his hair.

“Okay, we’re gonna be late, and I’m just being stupid, so–”

“You’re not,” Eddie says firmly. “It’s not stupid to be afraid, Steve.”

“Really?” Steve scoffs. “Because I had to practically be dragged kicking and screaming to the optometrist like a little kid.”

“It’s new. It’s different. That can be scary.” Eddie shrugs. “But I promise, this will be a change for the better.”

“You think so?” Steve asks, small this time, devoid of sarcasm and begging for reassurance.

“Positive, baby.” Eddie nods. “You’ll be able to drive without squinting, and I’m almost sure your headaches will get at least a little better.”

Steve nods along, lips pursed. “Yeah, I… I guess so.”

“And,” Eddie leans in close, holding their joined hands to his chest for a moment as he murmurs teasingly in Steve’s ear, “you’re gonna look pretty sexy in glasses.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve shakes his head. “Yeah, alright. Sure I will.”

“Are you doubting my judgement?” Eddie asks, as outraged as he can muster.

“Doubting your sanity, maybe,” Steve says.

“Uh, rude.” Eddie smirks over at him. “If you’re so sure, how about you get in there and prove me wrong, Harrington?”

“Easy. There’s no way I’m going to be sexy hiding behind a pair of glasses,” Steve says, but his smile is back, and that’s all Eddie had wanted.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Eddie decides, reaching for the handle of the driver’s side door. “C’mon.”

He loosens his grip on Steve’s hand, only for Steve to hold on tighter, pulling him back into his seat.

“Hey.” Eddie looks over in time to meet Steve’s eyes as he drops a quick kiss to the back of Eddie’s hand. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says softly. “Anytime.”

Judging by the look the receptionist gives him, he’s still grinning like an idiot when they walk into the office, but it’s fine – a quick glance over tells him that Steve looks exactly the same.

[apiswitchcraft]

tarot and their divinatory meanings (swords)

this post just includes the suit of swords, for the suit of pentacles click here, for the suit of wands click here, for the suit of cups click here, and for the major arcana click here

King of Swords

UPRIGHT: an intelligent, logical person, powerful, strong-willed, justice and judgement--maintain rational, not emotional, thinking

REVERSED: cruel, untrustworthy, manipulative, using intellect for selfish reasons, a loose cannon

Queen of Swords

UPRIGHT: an intelligent person that emphasizes unbiasedness--emotions can cloud judgement--stern, confident, consider all viewpoints

REVERSED: deceitful, bigoted, intelligence used to manipulate, isolated/isolating from people

Knight of Swords

UPRIGHT: ambition, strength, righteous anger, opposition--but victory in the face of--full of life and energy, death (but only if supported by other cards)

REVERSED: impatience, impulsiveness, scattered thoughts without organization or logic, lacking direction

Page of Swords

UPRIGHT: vigilance, work done in secret, always full of ideas, eager and communicative, too much energy, curiosity, a news bearer

REVERSED: bad news, sharp and alert mind possibly used for manipulation/deception, a gossip, the unforeseen

Ten of Swords

UPRIGHT: pain and loss, disaster, possible betrayal, focus on a new path, change, desolation, evil that is overcome

REVERSED: evil defeated, success after loss, recovery, hitting rock bottom but at least it's only up from here, an advantage that doesn't last

Nine of Swords

UPRIGHT: deception, changes, hidden foes/suspicion, trauma affecting present/future, death, possibly illness

REVERSED: obstacles, imprisonment (or a feeling of it), reasonable suspicion, shame OR patience, faithfulness

Eight of Swords

UPRIGHT: feeling trapped, fear, censure, illness, feeling helpless and being paralyzed by it

REVERSED: dispute, disquiet, opposition, oppressive conditions, treachery, jealousy

Seven of Swords

UPRIGHT: success against obstacles OR sneaking around, feeling a need for avoidance, spying

REVERSED: change your approach but don't hesitate, good advice OR slander, betrayal

Six of Swords

UPRIGHT: journey, a change that needs to happen but is difficult to accept, finding an understanding, use your logic

REVERSED: resisting change, a journey postponed OR a declaration, a confession

Five of Swords

UPRIGHT: degradation, defeat/loss, conflict, cowardice, too much ambition, infamy or dishonor

REVERSED: same as upright, an empty victory

Four of Swords

UPRIGHT: a time of rest/retreat, take time for a breather, meditate, gather your strength

REVERSED: restlessness, or a return to active life, introspection and self love

Three of Swords

UPRIGHT: separation, rejection, pain and grief that makes you stronger, emotional pain after a breakup

REVERSED: same as upright, but less bleak

Two of Swords

UPRIGHT: precarious balance, a stalemate, choice of two evils, you have the knowledge to make the best of the situation

REVERSED: a change in your life, disloyalty OR a stalemate ended (could be positive or negative)

Ace of Swords

UPRIGHT: breakthrough, force (good/bad), attainment of goals, triumph, conquest

REVERSED: excessive use of force, tyranny, destruction, beware of abusing your power

[straycalamities]

Entre's 12th Anniversary Big Birthday Bash!

Alright! So I'd say in about 11 hours, we're gonna start the festivities for Entre's birthday/blog anniversary! He'll be turning [redacted] years old today! And his blog is turning 12 :) (Sorry about the short-notice. It took me this long to come up with something.)

Official start time is 12 PM (Noon) CT (UTC -5)

My plan is we start with a Magma board and have a good old fashioned draw party! If you want to check out Magma (or aggie.io as it was absorbed into Magma) ahead of time feel free to do so! You don't need an account to draw or chat, though! We'll do that for a couple of hours.

If you don't want to draw, feel free to put out prompts or suggestions for the ones that are drawing to pick up if they want! There's a chat feature in the Magma. (You click on your name on the top right to find it.)

(But, for the record, you don't need to be da Vinci to draw. Anyone can draw if they want to regardless of skill level.)

The board's limit is 30 people, and I don't think we're hitting it so feel free to pour in.

Then after that, we'll be headed to Hyperbeam to watch one of Entre's favorite movies: Inception! Unfortunately the viewer limit is 12 people so it'll be first come, first serve. :(

Of course it'll be the big guy all day and NOT me. So. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

If you can't join for whatever reason, feel free to fill his inbox with gifts/birthday wishes! I'll get to them as I can. :)

Under the readmore is the courtesy rules so that we make sure everyone has a fun time. If you break them, it's a 3-strike system (you'll get warnings) before you're banned (on the 3rd strike) from whichever location we're at. That sounds big n scary, but they're easy to follow so don't stress much about it.

Overall Rules: (For clarification on anything just ask me/Entre.) Rules with * are insta-bans and not subject to 3-strike system.

No NSFW discussion or behavior.

No bigoted or hateful behavior. *

Stay as polite and respectful as possible. Take all beef elsewhere.

No ship wars. No askblog/onceler fandom OC favoritism or hate.

No heavy negativity, heavy topics, nor inflammatory topics.

No trolling of any kind. (harmless jokes/pranks okay, but always use discretion/best judgement)

Magma Rules:

Do not draw on or edit other people's drawings in any way without explicit permission from the artist.

No NSFW imagery.

No triggering imagery. (Like the basic stuff: self-harm, gore, etc. If you have a question on what you're allowed to draw, ask me/Entre.)

Do not abuse the Magma permissions/tools. (excessively making layers, moving layers around, etc.)

Do not draw outside your area/draw all over the whole canvas. Leave ample space for everyone to have a spot.

Hyperbeam Rules:

No spoilers.

Do not spam the chat.

The movie has been chosen and there will not be a different one, if you do not like the movie choice, you do not have to join.

[just-antithings]

There's a relatively well-known place that archives art that has recently changed its stance on lolisho. If they said "for legal reasons where we're hosted" that would be disappointing but fine. Instead their rules said "it should go without saying that it isn't allowed"

Why? You used to allow it. Your motto makes a point that it's censorship to make value judgements about what should be archived and thus you are maximally inclusive. You allow bigoted art and guro art and real-person-guro-bigoted art. But this is where you draw the line?

I just feel betrayed because their motto and decent tagging system (where extreme/offensive content is hidden by default) made me trust that they wouldn't pull this kind of thing. It makes me more pessimistic about the possibility AO3 one day getting infiltrated by antis.

[homunculus-argument]

Trying to explain my family dynamics to people is odd because if/when I explain that I don't talk to my family anymore because they won't and can't learn to be respectful and be nice to people, people tend to assume that they don't approve of me being gay, trans, etc. The thing is, they're not bigots. They pride themselves on being progressive people, that's not what they're judgemental about. They just disapprove of everything else you do and feel.

I've always admired the kind of men who can pull off flamboyant and outrageously flashy clothes and once remarked to my family that I wish I could do that too, but I couldn't pass for male while doing that. My family disapproved of this notion - of course men can wear whatever they want, and vaguely remarked something about fragile masculinity and men who are too cowardly to do things that make them happy out of fear of being judged.

Their tone was not "you shouldn't feel self-conscious about whether you pass or not", but "you should feel ashamed of feeling self-conscious about this."

The last time I went on a vacation with my family, my mother had developed some sort of marks on her legs - she's 60, perfectly healthy, and apparently the spots are harmless and just a sign of old age. When she half-jokingly asked us if she can still go out without concealing stockings with those marks showing, my sister chided her about even thinking that, of course she could still go out and how dare she worry about what people think.

And while it might sound supportive while recounted like this, her tone was not "you shouldn't feel self-conscious about natural marks of ageing", but "you should feel ashamed of feeling self-conscious about this."

My family aren't bigots, they've got all the correct opinions about everything. They'll just judge you for not thinking and feeling the correct things about everything.

[unpopularfanopinion]

DNI labels are funny because I can 100% not be who they hate, but it just comes across as obnoxious and weird. It's like a dude screeching to himself in the middle of a town square that certain people shouldn't approach him. I mean you do you dude, but there's no way in hell I'm getting close either

I mentioned in an earlier post the possibility of someone slipping a slur into their DNI lists and labels. Even if you’re not a part of that marginalized group you’re likely going to be grateful for that enormous red flag and avoid that asshole. Because it’s rather obvious that DNI list isn’t about someone trying to protect their peace and mental health by setting boundaries. It’s about hurting and violating someone else’s peace and wellbeing by signaling “I don’t feel any need to see and treat you like a human being worthy of dignity or respect.”

The more I think about it the more I can’t help but see DNI lists as a weird(and rather ineffective way) for people to try to shame and control the people around them. Because instead of saying “don’t engage in XYZ topic with me” they’re saying “these people aren’t allowed around me” even if what they’re doing or saying has nothing to do with what’s going(like saying Muslims DNI on a random piece of fanart) It’s really nonsensical and disrespectful for no good reason other than to insult Muslims.

I can’t help but think that the people who act like DNI lists or labels are somehow holy or sancrosanct, never to be mocked, questioned, or judged. And are perfectly acceptable and appropriate in all places and situations are both weirdly controlling, and the type of person who is okay with bigotry, discrimination, and bullying as long as the bigot gives the right justification.

And no. You don’t get to hurt others and violate their peace in the name of “setting boundaries” at least not without some judgement and mockery tossed your way.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (27F) am still living with my parents due to financial reasons and covid pushing my college education back. I've either worked or done full time college since I was 18 and i have helped my parents out. I'm fully moving out, hopefully, this fall, but things have been sticky since.

My mother is controlling and has very little respect for my boundaries. For 13 years, she has made comments about my phone having a password she doesn't know. She regularly remarks about all the "self restraint" it takes her to not go into my room when I'm not home and reorganize my dresser and bookshelf. I feel like I can never relax because of having to justify my free time to her. I am 27 and have had fights with her over my bedtime. In the past back when I voice chatted people, she would get angry when I tried to set aside any time at home to not be interrupted. She's yelled at me when I was on mic for stuff like not opening a window, which she then did and had no reason to yell at me for except to embarrass me.

I'm Queer and my family knows but pretends I'm not in daily life, and she makes incredibly judgemental homophobic, transphobic, and sometimes racist comments when watching TV or when there's something LGBT related in the news or going around her feed, yet she thinks she isn't a bigoted person/that she's been a great parent. When I had a trans male friend over 5 years ago she launched into a tirade about fake gender and me "pulling a prank" on her and a lot of things I won't repeat but it was bad enough I haven't had a single person come by since. Any friend time is outside of the house. I keep all my friends away from her.

Thing is, she also blames me for never going outside or having her own life. She wants to rely on me or other people for everything even though she can drive. She lost an eye to cancer, something I took care of her all the way though, but she has driven, has a fake eye so no one can tell she's missing an eye, and has a special mirror on the car so she can see in her blindspot. But she won't go out alone and even before he vision loss she always wanted someone with her out of anxiety.

So all this summer she wants me to be her valet, basically, saying she'll get into the habit of going places if I go with her, but saying any "attitude" from me in the past is the reason why she stopped caring about herself or going outside.

I want to have very basic boundaries respected and have my own free time, but she keeps making her living at all on me and expecting sunshine and rainbows while being controlling and only accepting very certain reactions. Any time I try to be assertive about things like my own bedtime, she asks me why I "turn everything into a power struggle" when she's the one who starts things.

I don't want to spend time with her, even though I know she has gone though things and has lost an eye. I feel miserable, isolated, and like I can't even have resting bitch face without being accused of something. I just want her to live her own life and not need me to escort her everywhere because of her paranoia, and I'm trying to spend time away and give pushback about boundaries. AITA for trying to swerve her?

What are these acronyms?

[your-subby-creature]

Intro Post:

Hi! I finally remembered to make one of these, let me know if I missed anything :^)

Last updated: 09/02/24

——————————————————————

Basics

Names: Creature or Hal/Halogen

Age: 20

Pronouns: he/it/pet/they

Gender: Genderqueer Trans Man

Interested in: anyone of any gender, especially other queer and trans people <3

Relationship status: Relationship Anarchist, single

Role: Submissive Verse (leaning bottom)

DNI: Minors, Pedos (MAPS/NOMAPS/PEARS),bestiality/zeta, bigots of any kind or those who fetishize them, ED / weight blogs, self-harm (SH) blogs, no age in bio/pinned, anyone who doesn't believe that consent is always and forever the highest priority

Non-kinky interests: queer & trans community and history, art, crochet, baking, podcasts, nonfiction books, disability and neurodiversity, paganism, psychology, language/linguistics, history (I'll love you forever and also never shut up if you ask me about my research <3)

What I look like: Since I don't post or send pictures I should probably describe myself. I'm a white 5'0" (152.4 cm) fat and invisibly disabled guy. I'm entirely hairless due to an autoimmune condition (alopecia!), have grey eyes, and wear glasses.

DMs: Open

Asks: Open

Taken Emoji Anons: 🐑, 🍯🐾, ☆, ✨️,🎀, 🦴, 🐺🦊🐶, 🦊🕳, 📸

Tags: #Creature originals (original posts), #Creature responds (asks) #Creature scenes (based on scenes in dms or requested) #Creature rambles (misc thoughts), #Creature Studies (academia), #Creature polls (polls) #Creature denial (denial challenges) #puppy playtime saga continues (exactly what it sounds like)

——————————————————————

Kinks

Favorites: cnc, obedience, (cock)worship, control, praise, (loving) degradation, humiliation, objectification, hypnosis, free use, training, pet names, pain, impact, bruising/marking, cockwarming, discipline, sexual torture, ownership, oral fixation, dehumanization, boywife, petplay, orgasm control, body writing, domesticity, cages, corruption, experimentation/scientist kink, anal,

Soft limits: blood, detrans/misgendering (just ask first), light choking or breathplay, heavy piss, light burning, kidnapping, rimming, needles, bratting, wet and messy, lactation, vomit, primal chasing, spitting in my mouth, heartbeat/cardiophilia

Hard limits: Raceplay, scat, abdl, bestiality/zeta, snuff/gore, pregnancy / birthing, sissification/feminization, hard breathplay, drowning, real incest, feederism, guns, fat fetishism, bald fetishism, SH fetishism, ED fetishism, farts/eprocto, abandonment, fuckpig, sub/sub competition, prolapse, ocular trauma

Presume anything not listed above is something I am neutral to / okay with. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

My body: I am on T but have not had any surgery. Acceptable terms include chest, tits, slit, cunt, pussy, hole, (t)cock, (t)dick, and ___parts (e.g. puppy parts or needy parts, etc.)

Terms: I love masculine, neutral, or objectifying terms! Anything that is not explicitly feminizing (eg good girl, princess) is fine; whore, slut, cunt, and bitch are alright. Do not call me slurs without asking. Never use the words annoying, worthless, useless, or pig(gy) in reference to me.

Safewords: For scenes and role-playing I tend to use the stoplight system (green/yellow/red), but if asked for a unique personal safeword, I use "Fluoride"

——————————————————————

Interacting

Pictures / Videos: DO NOT ASK ME FOR PICTURES OR VIDEOS. Presume that I will NEVER send them unless I initiate and explicitly ask your consent to send them. However, feel free to send me any pictures or videos of yourself or of things you find hot (as long as it's all legal and consensual and doesn't violate my limits.)

Audios: I MIGHT send audios with your consent during role-play through a Vocaroo link that I will delete once the scene ends. This is subject to my own judgement, but you are always welcome to ask. You are free to send any (legal, consensual, limit-abiding) audio whenever you'd like.

Calls: Presume that I WILL NOT call you (yes, even on platforms where I don't have to give out my number) unless I initiate and explicitly ask. This is due to privacy concerns and is non-negotiable.

Asks: Asks are open and I love them! I'll always try to answer them, unless they directly violate one of my limits or ask me to doxx myself in some way.

Messages: Anyone is free to message me! I will always try to respond unless it goes against one of my limits, and I reserve the right to stop messaging at any time. Feel free to role-play, scene with me, etc. You get one strike on misgendering me in messages (e.g. "good girl") before the scene immediately stops and you most likely get blocked.

Role-play, flirting, or scenes: Within the confines of my limits and the understanding that either of us can stop or revoke consent at ANY TIME, feel free to role-play, flirt, or scene with me. Please note: I am autistic and have a tendency to unmask during scenes where I'm being given orders to enact IRL. For me this means following certain patterns of typing, taking instructions literally, and requiring clear directions.

Meet-ups: I WILL NOT meet up with you. Non-negotiable.

[acourtofthought]

Lucien has not stood in the way of Elain choosing to be with anyone.

“Elain loves this lord’s son.” Not quite a question.

“And then I’ll ask your mate how he survived it—knowing you were engaged to someone else. Sharing another male’s bed.”

She did not love him, want him, need him. Another male’s bride. A mortal man’s wife. Or she would have been.

“I’ll go.” Lucien was staring at Elain as he spoke. We all looked at him. Lucien shifted his focus to Rhys, to me. “I’ll go,” he repeated, rising to his feet. “To find this sixth queen.” He glanced at Elain, who was again studying her lap. “I’m not needed here.

“Good. But is she still …” A muscle flickered in his jaw. “Does she still mourn him?”

“She was deeply in love with him, Lucien.” His russet eye flashed with simmering rage. An uncontrollable instinct—for a mate to eliminate any threat. But he remained sitting. Even as his fingers dug into the arms of his chair. I continued, “It has only been a few months. Graysen made it clear that the engagement is ended, but it might take her a while longer to move past it.”. Again that rage. Not from jealousy, or any threat, but—“He’s as fine a prick as any I’ve ever encountered.” Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at that manor, he’d run into Elain’s former betrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

First, Lucien walked away once he realized Elain was not over Graysen, walked away so his mate could try to be happy without him.

After the war Lucien could have killed Graysen, the most major threat to his mating bond with Elain at that point. It didn't matter that Graysen rejected Elain because Elain was still in love with Graysen and Lucien was fully aware of that.

Graysen was a fae hating human and while Lucien thinks he's a prick he never once voiced judgement that Elain chose Graysen like the others did. He never made a comment along the lines of "How can she be interested in him?". He simply respected the fact that she did.

“And Elain,” Rhys said, sighing as he removed his other boot, “should not be marrying that lord’s son, not for about a dozen reasons

“Is he good—the lord’s son she’s to marry?” “She thinks he is. She loves him like he is.” “And what do you think?” Nesta’s eyes—my eyes, our mother’s eyes—met mine. “His father built a wall of stone around their estate so high even the trees can’t reach over it. I think it looks like a prison.”

“Why are you letting her marry that bigoted prick?” The question snapped out of him.

“You have a damned opinion on everyone else in the world. Why not tell Elain she’s marrying a monster?”

“She deserves better than someone like that.” “Indeed she does.” Flat and cold.

So if Lucien was willing to walk away from his mate so she could try to reconnect with her fiance (as fine a prick as any he encountered, even his insults are elegant) who she was in love with and agreed to marry, who she had sex with, then why does anyone think Lucien will stand in the way of Elain wanting to be with Az if that is in fact what she wants.

To date, Elain has not told anyone that she wants to be with Az, that she has feelings for Az beyond the physical. If she wanted to be with him, why not just be with him? No one is standing in Elain's way, certainly not Lucien. Not even Rhys because as far as we can tell, she wasn't aware of what was discussed between he and Az on Solstice (though wouldn't it be amazing if she did hear and gave the necklace back because of how Az acted? 😈).

But I'm getting off track because my point was it Lucien has always been willing to step aside so Elain could go back to Graysen, if he did nothing to Graysen or Elain before or after the war knowing she still loved him (despite what his instincts may have wanted him to do), then why are we thinking he'd stand in the way of E/riel? There's no forbidden love when a male is willing to suffer in silence while the mate he longs for takes time to decide what she wants even if it doesn't currently look like him.

And you know what happens to the SJM mates who step aside to allow the female to marry another (Feylin)? To the mates who stand aside while the female they want chooses to sleep with many others (Nessian)? (In comparison, a near kiss is nothing).

They get the girl in the end.

[alaynestone]

You don’t have to post this if you don’t want. I just wanted to say I was one of those curious, openminded fans willing to entertain the idea of samjohn (mostly bc deanjohn feels so congruent with canon + there’s so much interesting meta on it that managed to convert me + incestuous households usually affect all of it’s members) but just like you said I was immediately put off by the blatant character assassination that pervades everything from fics to edits to the propaganda in that incest poll lmao.

I guess that’s the major difference - deanjohn requires little to no stretching of imagination bc it already fits seamlessly into canon, whereas samjohn almost demands ooc shenanigans to work.

I also just found the way fans talk about it nauseating for some reason, though that’s likely more of a reflection of my own personal triggers. I love digesting incest narratives, but the fetishistic angle of that blog really makes my stomach turn. That’s not a moral judgement on anyone else’s enjoyment btw! Just another reason why this ship didn’t resonate with me.

thank you for sending me this. it's clear that a lot of people feel the same way.

when i first joined fandom, the few j/s fics were straightforward evil!john non-con. not my thing, but i understood why it was written that way. then came the inexplicably popular fandom creation of "sexkitten sam" which continues to pollute the entire sam/dean fandom and of course extends to other ships too. i'm not even gonna get started on why that's "problematic" because that's not the point, it's not remotely in character. even as an exaggeration sam is not the kind of person to attempt to find agency in outward submission or objectification. he's very vocally not compromising his identity to please his family and especially john. dean is more like that so when you have sam acting like a fetishized pinterest aesthetic moodboard version of dean and dean acting like an old man from wattpad i'm understandably left squinting at the screen. then it's genderswapping sam and using that as a personality eraser because women are automatically submissive and naive and trad?

who is being converted by all this when it has nothing to do with sam, john or even dean? where is dean in all this actually? a core aspect of their family is that dean is closest to both sam and john who rarely had much opportunity to bond without him. there was a distance between sam and john throughout sam's childhood and adolescence. most of his parental needs were being fulfilled by dean even if that was never enough. their situation with their father wasn't the average one where they were simply 2 kids fighting for his attention.

for the most part j/s appears to be about "envying" dean's position in the family. it's about diminishing or straight up erasing dean and more notably about feminizing sam. either directly or otherwise. people generally seem to have big issues with the fact that sam is a man and confidently so. most of the annoying tropes in wincest fandom have this at their core. and of course in order for sam to be "the woman" dean needs to genuinely and authentically be the most stereotypical of cishet men. it's very transparent because right from the start the show poked holes at dean's performance of masculinity. it was very much the point. dean's gender issues could fill a book yet any alternative interpretation of sam and gender seeks to cast dean as the oppressive bigot who would never get it? stopping here before i get off topic but to make myself clear: in theory i respect headcanons i don't understand, but not when they spitefully exist to deny dean's depth in every possible way.

to return to my point about dean's pseudo spouse and mother position being enviable, it misses the point of how harmful john's parenting was to both of them. it's no coincidence that they both view themselves as the unfavorite. dean believes he's taken for granted, only valued for what he can give, how well he can perform his roles, how successfully he could play at being an adult even before he hit double digits. dean can't just exist and be himself while sam is uncompromisingly himself. because of that he believes john doesn't like him, never liked him, rejected him, didn't have time for him, didn't trust him enough with the family secrets, even when those secrets directly concerned him. as of season 1 he still has contempt for dean for what he views as unquestioning obedience to john and letting himself be molded by john. dean had to fight for every scrap of approval and affection and sam refused to do the same if it meant sacrificing his own needs and identity. not everyone reacts to abuse the same way and both characters are very much shaped by their different reactions to their environment. and any j/s shipper argument that is built on the idea that sam was the one john loved more is not only gleefully mocking dean's parentification but ignoring that sam being comparatively sheltered and treated like a son is yet another reason why john would not cross such a line with him. dean "gets it", dean lost mary too, dean is his partner and his confidant, dean can handle adult responsibilities, dean is loving and supportive, dean isn't making him confront his parenting failures, dean can't say no to him. like you said, it doesn't at all stretch the imagination to make j/d fit into dean's backstory. "you are not a child" - "i never was".

as i have been saying, any remotely ic exploration of j/s would have to follow both j/d and s/d. i can't believe in a universe where j/s is the only incest that happens in the family. i think a theoretical plausible j/s fic would have to not only accept but embrace its adjacency to the 2 ships that are compliant with the canon. but whether sam knows for a fact about j/d or not, there's no way he isn't severely impacted by the proximity to that relationship in a number of ways and that's a very compelling dynamic in its own right.

tldr i agree with you anon. people can read and write whatever they want but there's a big difference between incest subtext that is believable and just saying things in a way that's meant to provoke.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

If there is one thing I am sure of within suicide, it is that I have no idea why men do it. And neither do you.

Even those closest to those lost; parents, partners, friends and family, are left never really knowing ‘why?’

Heartbreaking and impossible questions, that may never be fully answered, by anyone.

And yet, somehow an entire army of social justice warriors, moral guardians and cereal box psychologists, seem entitled to present their own one word answer to ‘why men do it’ anyway.

That’s right.

The devastated partner has no idea, and yet some asshole on Instagram has the answer.

Not just the answer for one man, but all men, all doing it for the same reason, apparently.

So we arrive at ‘toxic’ this, and ‘patriarchy’ that; each slogan doing its best to pathologise masculinity, and provide simple and meaningless answers, without evidence, to impossibly complex, individual problems.

And it’s not good enough.

What’s more, as a man, I have learnt to sit down and listen when it comes to women talking about women’s issues.

I agree, discussion for women, must be led by women.

So the same is true for men.

Discussion on men, and particularly male suicide, must be led by men and boys, and bereaved families, and not gate kept by bogus feminist theory.

Suicidal men, and the families of those who have lost loved ones, must be our eternal point of reference for male suicide advocacy and research. It is where we must start, and continually return to, forever and always.

More than any other, #malesuicide is not the place to make bigoted blanket assertions about masculinity or men. It is a place to listen, without judgement, and with compassion.

So let’s do that now.

Let’s ask the men dealing with suicidality, how it feels, and what we can do to help.

~

Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4611172/

==

There's always a scramble to cast male suicide as a flaw of men, or maleness itself. This seems to function as a way to deny that there could be external factors that disproportionately affect men. You know, except the mythical dragon of "tHe pAtRiArChY."

[lexidius]

Has anyone seen

the lads on my chest

who were out and about just this morning?

No one knows where they've been

and it suddenly seems

that they've both disappeared without warning.

Some people recall

that these two perky lads

seem to get along well with most folks,

Then again, some will stall

come any mention at all

that these lads aren't quite like other blokes.

For these two quirky lads

can be awkward at times

and to many will seem a tad queer,

like a great massive weight

on society's back

that leaves some people hiding in fear.

So my lads, they feel blue

when the people cry out

because blue is the right way to think;

And according to who's

keeping up with the news

it's not good for the lads to be pink.

Yet the girls on the street

seem a tad bit distressed

that the lads on my chest hide away.

They want friends of their own

so they feel less alone,

too afraid to come out yet today.

And so what if these lads

are a little too loud

or some girls choose to go run amock?

I'd rather my lads

see their mums and their dads

say they're proud that we don't give a damn

if a man has some breasts

or beneath a girl's dress

is a monster that's hidden away,

'neath a clever disguise

far from judgemental eyes

who still think that it's wrong to be gay.

And some people will ask

"is she going be he now

or is it still going by they?

It's so hard now to tell

and confusing as hell,

what's their sexual preferences anyway?"

It means more than words

that our voices are heard,

and a slip of the tongue is okay.

If you're willing to learn

despite growing concerns

that we'll change our minds again one day.

And who knows if we will?

I'm still growing each day

and identity's not set in stone.

But the lads on my chest?

I think they know what's best

and the choices I make are my own.

To the judgemental bigots

who think it's a problem

that these faggots and trannies exist?

Yes I can't change your mind.

Rest assured though, you'll find

that I don't give a fuck if you're cis.

It confuses me too

that my lads are so hated

for existing the way that they do,

but to those who remember

my tits changed their gender

and try to respect it?

Thank you.

— The Lads On My Chest ▪︎ Lex Storm (he/they), 2024

[6kuros]

As a fellow creator who is also disturbed and upset by the revelation of pizza tower being a product of 4chan type people, I'm wondering how you handle it? I still want to draw fan art but Im struggling to not get uncomfortable. Basically, I have both love and hate for the game now, and you seem like a cool person so Im wondering how you deal with that. Love your pizza tower fan art sm btw!

im really glad that you enjoy my art, and also am flattered you think im cool!!!

first of all, id like to mention that the art i posted just now was art that i had finished last night, before everything about mcpig came to light and i just wanted to post it since i already had it done…still unsure if im going to draw consistent pizza tower in the future honestly, id like to because its a lot of fun and i really do love a lot about the game. ideally, the current situation would change somehow so i can do that without any discomfort for myself or others, but the only way i foresee that happening is if the devs actually remove the racist shit from the game

what makes me feel (kind of) okay about producing fanart for the game despite what emerged is mostly the fact that as long as i am not reproducing the harmful contents of the game, nor directly supporting the people behind it, im not putting any harm into the world or perpetuating the 4chan stuff i guess? the only thing im really worried about is possibly getting people to want to buy the game by putting my fanart out there, but considering the games popularity from streaming and youtube videos i dont see my own art as contributing to that much. that makes it easier for me not to feel unsettled when i draw fanart for it, but i think that depends on how you view the relationship between fanart and source material, especially in an interactive space like the internet. if you think your art risks sending the message that you approve of negative aspects of a piece of media then its probably better not to share that art

theres also the fact that from the messages that were revealed i get the impression that at some point mcpig had a sort of disdain for "cringe leftists" being fans of the game i guess, and i would consider myself someone who he would/would have found cringe at one point lol. so by being into the game its kind of a fuck you idc that you hate me, this thing you made is being enjoyed by cringe leftists. considering the tone of some of the messages was "if people get mad at me im just going to be edgy in response" i dont even think disengaging with the game would even bother him at all. but all of that is really just speculation and i dont want to insinuate that engaging with bigoted media is proactive just because you are a marginalized person or have progressive politics. its important to actually weigh the harm of your actions and what effect you have with your consumption of said media i dont really know if thats a good answer though, and if it holds up to any sort of moral judgement. i do think its possible to enjoy problematic media, but considering how new the game is its not the kind of thing i can look at and be like "this piece of media is from x years ago and doesnt do real harm now". my worst fear is that there are pizza tower fans who are going to see the awful shit in the game and replicate it, bc the game somehow makes them thinks theres nothing wrong with it or that they can do so without consequence. just from a scope of the fandom there seem to be a lot of young teenagers so Yeah. im concerned in that regard and id like to beam a message into kids' brains thats just like Hey this character design/behavior fucking sucks Dont do this

so, by posting my art anyway i hope i can contribute to a portion of the fanbase that is outwardly against the bigoted content in the game, as an alternative to mcpig dick riders/defenders. and if there are any fans out there involved in the community who dont know better, hopefully they can learn, and avoid perpetuating bigotry

all that being said, your feelings on the matter may be very different, and you dont have to abide to any of this thinking. if a piece of media is upsetting you, its okay to step away from it as long as you need. maybe see how you feel when you come back to it and if the hateful feelings are still there, there is no obligation to engage further

(and as a bottom line if anybody reading this is considering playing pizza tower i suggest you pirate it instead of paying for it)

[obsidianpen]

Hmmm adding fuel to the fire (seriously, don't post it if you don't feel like it!) re: NG and B&G. I read both, and my 'problem' with B&G is my general problem with Tomione works; you are basically cooking oatmeal without oats, because there's no personal entanglement between Hermione and Tom/Voldemort in canon. Yes, they are on opposed sides, but it is impersonal. It just doesn't hit me in the feels when Hermione remembers original timeline Voldemort and compares him to Tom. Hermione never even talked to old timeline Voldemort, this connection is empty. And for Hermione to catch Tom's attention, she had to create a whole new persona that is nothing like herself. The one thing they have in common are books... and as Hermione admits in Philosopher's Stone, books aren't really *that* important, not enough to build an entire relationship on it. You do put in some heroic effort to convince the readers and to be fair it technically *is* the best Tomione fic I've read, although I'm not into the pairing (I'm curious though and try everything before making a judgement). You know what pairing you DID get me interested in? Hermione and Bellatrix, yeah, the muggleborn activist for equal rights of magical creatures and the pureblood bigot. They actually have a significant personal encounter in canon, and the way you write them... the burdundy magic in NG, the shared wand in B&G, they are each other's equal and opposite, almost like natural soulmates. I'm LOVING it! I'd totally read a story from you about time-traveller Hermione meeting young, bright, beautiful Bellatrix Black and Hermione posing as pureblood or halfblood and starting a homoerotic friendship with her and then revealing she is a muggleborn…like a magical version of Lilly Wust and Felice Schragenheim. I can dream! (Just to be clear, write whatever you want! If you feel inspired by Tomione, feel free to write a thousand stories about them. It's your hobby after all. I'm afraid this post felt a bit obnoxious, since you didn't ask what readers think of the pairings; I just wanted to share my opinion what works/ doesn't work for me personally.)

to each their own! I did read a bit of a really awesome belmione (is… is that it) fic once, so they are out there!!! And yeah I think that’s the struggle with writing tomione - writers really have to create a plot that puts them in each others lives because it didn’t happen in canon, and there isn’t the convenient prophecy/horcrux/soul connection in place. So in that way, when a Tom/hermione ship does work in a fic, it can arguably be stronger because it has to stand on the merit of the forged relationship alone, not the already in place canon stuff (of which there is a shit ton, let’s be honest, even if you hate it it’s pretty obvious once you look!)