#their feelings without bigoted judgement?

[noroi-amaraciune]

If you use men's mental health only as a counter argument in a gender disparity debate then you don't give a shit about men's mental health

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Taivan dynamic is so much more painful if you think they were just hooking up pre-crash, not involving their emotions at all, just Van who was pretty easy to clock as gay & Tai who wanted to kiss a girl and thought Van wouldn’t mind.

Like if pre-crash, they never thought about being anything more than teammates who sometimes made out in the empty locker room. Then everything changed in the wilderness when all of a sudden there wasn’t a society full of bigots all around them and both of them were able to explore their sexualities & feelings for each other pretty much without judgement.

I personally look at their relationship as only happening because of those factors — before the crash, I don’t think Tai ever would’ve thought of confessing her feelings for Van. We see her cutting her hair in season one, seemingly getting more comfortable with being a bit more masc (similarly, in season two, after she leaves Simone she stops doing her makeup and starts dressing in progressively more masculine clothing). Essentially we know that when Taissa is out of “public” view & with Van, she stops performing femininity as much. So I feel like her ability to really be with Van was entirely dependent on the perceived safety of their isolated wilderness society. I focus on Taissa in this mostly because Van appears more comfortable with gender expression, as well as with romantically pursuing Taissa, whereas Tai seems to occasionally hesitate. We also know from Ally’s pre-crash comment about Van not being asked to prom that Van was probably either clocked as gay at school or just thought of as unromantic, whereas I think Tai would’ve had a much easier time passing for straight.

And in that way, it’s like a relationship that was formed entirely in the controlled environment of the wilderness. I cannot imagine coming to terms with your sexuality as a teen, going through the entire process of cutting your hair, publicly coming out to all your friends, and experiencing all your queer milestones, only to be rescued and returned to a place where you were still thought of as straight. Like, Tai and Van were sleeping in bed together every night, kissing in public, making little “happy wife, happy life” comments to their friends, and just generally being gay together. And then they would’ve returned to the 1990’s where that kind of queer love would’ve been, at the very least, unusual & surprising. It’s not difficult to imagine this driving them apart. But it is really heartbreaking to imagine the two of them being separated immediately upon being rescued & the realization they must’ve both had that they couldn’t stick together anymore without outing themselves.

[solarmorrigan]

Holding hands during a stressful situation, from the Physical Intimacy Prompts list

-

Eddie kills the engine, sending the interior of the van into silence.

Neither he nor Steve makes a move to get out.

He lets two minutes pass in excruciating silence before murmuring, “Appointment’s gonna start soon.”

Steve huffs, still staring out the windshield. “This is stupid,” he mutters.

“Steve,” Eddie sighs; he’d promised to stick with Steve through the whole thing, and he will, but Christ, he’s getting tired of this argument. “You have to go, you can’t–”

“I know that, Eddie,” Steve snaps. “I’m not actually that delusional. I know I need glasses, okay? What’s stupid is being afraid to go in to the goddamn eye doctor’s.”

He goes back to staring at the “Hawkins Optical” sign hanging above the door of the office they’ve parked across from, glaring like it’s issued a personal challenge.

And there isn’t much Eddie can do to help at the moment, he knows; he’d come along for moral support, but he can’t lean over and gather Steve up into a hug like he’d like to, or press a kiss to the side of his head. It’s broad daylight, and they’re fully visible in the front of the van, and Eddie didn’t escape persecution at the hands of one bigoted mob only to get them strung up by another.

He settles for reaching over and taking Steve’s hand from where it’s clenched into a fist on top of his thigh, and instead holds it in his own, carefully low near the gearshift.

“You wanna tell me why you’re afraid to go in?”

For a long minute, Steve is silent. He stares straight ahead, not even reacting to Eddie’s hand curled over his, and Eddie thinks for a moment that he’s going to refuse to elaborate and just go inside (and Eddie doesn’t doubt that he will go in; he and Robin had had a bitch of a time getting Steve to set up the appointment at all, but now that he’s promised to go, he’ll follow through – Eddie just wishes he knew why he was so reluctant at all).

Then, just when Eddie is wondering if they’re going to be late, Steve says softly, “It keeps taking things from me.”

Eddie doesn’t have to ask what it is. He squeezes Steve’s hand, and this time Steve turns his palm up so he can thread their fingers together.

“At first it was my ability to just… sleep through the night, then it was the migraines, and then – like, my left ear is a little screwed up and I know that might get worse one day and I’ll have to do something about that, too, but now it’s…” Steve sighs, pressing his free hand to his eyes and letting his head hang. “I knew it was a problem, but I just – if I actually did something about it, then it would be real, and I…”

Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand again, even though the gesture feels woefully inadequate. Steve takes a sharp breath in and sits up, uncovering his eyes and running his hand through his hair.

“Okay, we’re gonna be late, and I’m just being stupid, so–”

“You’re not,” Eddie says firmly. “It’s not stupid to be afraid, Steve.”

“Really?” Steve scoffs. “Because I had to practically be dragged kicking and screaming to the optometrist like a little kid.”

“It’s new. It’s different. That can be scary.” Eddie shrugs. “But I promise, this will be a change for the better.”

“You think so?” Steve asks, small this time, devoid of sarcasm and begging for reassurance.

“Positive, baby.” Eddie nods. “You’ll be able to drive without squinting, and I’m almost sure your headaches will get at least a little better.”

Steve nods along, lips pursed. “Yeah, I… I guess so.”

“And,” Eddie leans in close, holding their joined hands to his chest for a moment as he murmurs teasingly in Steve’s ear, “you’re gonna look pretty sexy in glasses.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve shakes his head. “Yeah, alright. Sure I will.”

“Are you doubting my judgement?” Eddie asks, as outraged as he can muster.

“Doubting your sanity, maybe,” Steve says.

“Uh, rude.” Eddie smirks over at him. “If you’re so sure, how about you get in there and prove me wrong, Harrington?”

“Easy. There’s no way I’m going to be sexy hiding behind a pair of glasses,” Steve says, but his smile is back, and that’s all Eddie had wanted.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Eddie decides, reaching for the handle of the driver’s side door. “C’mon.”

He loosens his grip on Steve’s hand, only for Steve to hold on tighter, pulling him back into his seat.

“Hey.” Eddie looks over in time to meet Steve’s eyes as he drops a quick kiss to the back of Eddie’s hand. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says softly. “Anytime.”

Judging by the look the receptionist gives him, he’s still grinning like an idiot when they walk into the office, but it’s fine – a quick glance over tells him that Steve looks exactly the same.

[apiswitchcraft]

tarot and their divinatory meanings (swords)

this post just includes the suit of swords, for the suit of pentacles click here, for the suit of wands click here, for the suit of cups click here, and for the major arcana click here

King of Swords

UPRIGHT: an intelligent, logical person, powerful, strong-willed, justice and judgement--maintain rational, not emotional, thinking

REVERSED: cruel, untrustworthy, manipulative, using intellect for selfish reasons, a loose cannon

Queen of Swords

UPRIGHT: an intelligent person that emphasizes unbiasedness--emotions can cloud judgement--stern, confident, consider all viewpoints

REVERSED: deceitful, bigoted, intelligence used to manipulate, isolated/isolating from people

Knight of Swords

UPRIGHT: ambition, strength, righteous anger, opposition--but victory in the face of--full of life and energy, death (but only if supported by other cards)

REVERSED: impatience, impulsiveness, scattered thoughts without organization or logic, lacking direction

Page of Swords

UPRIGHT: vigilance, work done in secret, always full of ideas, eager and communicative, too much energy, curiosity, a news bearer

REVERSED: bad news, sharp and alert mind possibly used for manipulation/deception, a gossip, the unforeseen

Ten of Swords

UPRIGHT: pain and loss, disaster, possible betrayal, focus on a new path, change, desolation, evil that is overcome

REVERSED: evil defeated, success after loss, recovery, hitting rock bottom but at least it's only up from here, an advantage that doesn't last

Nine of Swords

UPRIGHT: deception, changes, hidden foes/suspicion, trauma affecting present/future, death, possibly illness

REVERSED: obstacles, imprisonment (or a feeling of it), reasonable suspicion, shame OR patience, faithfulness

Eight of Swords

UPRIGHT: feeling trapped, fear, censure, illness, feeling helpless and being paralyzed by it

REVERSED: dispute, disquiet, opposition, oppressive conditions, treachery, jealousy

Seven of Swords

UPRIGHT: success against obstacles OR sneaking around, feeling a need for avoidance, spying

REVERSED: change your approach but don't hesitate, good advice OR slander, betrayal

Six of Swords

UPRIGHT: journey, a change that needs to happen but is difficult to accept, finding an understanding, use your logic

REVERSED: resisting change, a journey postponed OR a declaration, a confession

Five of Swords

UPRIGHT: degradation, defeat/loss, conflict, cowardice, too much ambition, infamy or dishonor

REVERSED: same as upright, an empty victory

Four of Swords

UPRIGHT: a time of rest/retreat, take time for a breather, meditate, gather your strength

REVERSED: restlessness, or a return to active life, introspection and self love

Three of Swords

UPRIGHT: separation, rejection, pain and grief that makes you stronger, emotional pain after a breakup

REVERSED: same as upright, but less bleak

Two of Swords

UPRIGHT: precarious balance, a stalemate, choice of two evils, you have the knowledge to make the best of the situation

REVERSED: a change in your life, disloyalty OR a stalemate ended (could be positive or negative)

Ace of Swords

UPRIGHT: breakthrough, force (good/bad), attainment of goals, triumph, conquest

REVERSED: excessive use of force, tyranny, destruction, beware of abusing your power

[shamebats]

Genuine question as someone female with gender dysphoria: How do you feel about the argument that trans identification is an expression of self-infantilization I've consumed a lot of radical feminist/gender critical material on the topic and I want to hear it from the opposing view. What I've read suggests as follows:

Only children have bodies without secondary sex characteristics; a desire to have a body which doesn't reflect your adult sexual development is a childish desire to escape adulthood

A lot of female transgender people love things like cartoons, anime and video games for children

Many of the same people also reject being called "women" and prefer terms like enby or boy, which are childish-sounding or usually only applied to children

A lot of transgender people, especially on Tumblr, can't drive, don't work, don't have sex and don't want to have children

Reading this has demoralized me a lot; I'm very proud of being an adult, I'm happy being employed and living a life that would be unthinkable to a child, I don't want to have an identity which will essentially turn me back into a child again, so this has definitely put me off trans identity. I wanted to seek a second perspective and you're pretty vocally pro-trans. I promise this isn't a troll ask- I do have radfem/GC beliefs but I'm open to other opinions. Thank you!

I have no idea what you're talking about. That's genuinely so much generalizing.

Darling, I'm on testosterone specifically to get hairier, more muscular and look older/my age for a man, the exact opposite of what you're describing, that's what testosterone does. I'm nearing 30, I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18 and have been working for about as long too, I have a career and a partner of 11 years who I'm getting married to next year. So I have absolutely no idea why you think that description of transness would fit my experience in any way? Except for maybe the no driving part which... babes, some of us live in these cool places called ✨ cities ✨.

Your stereotype is basically just your judgemental description of someone who might be unable to work, young and literally just asexual. Those are all perfectly fine ways of being and yes, some people on Tumblr will fit that description and logically, some of them will be trans/non-binary.

Some people want to have few to no secondary sexual characteristics, but that's not the most common trans experience, not at all? It's actually more common to just be fine with what nature gave you, especially for non-binary people.

You made up a strawman of a trans person you're inclined to feel angry about because of bigoted views you hold. Which makes you come off like a judgemental, mean person.

You know what being a mature adult means for me? Being capable of minding your own business and keeping inside thoughts on the inside, where they belong.

Most mature adults do not, in fact, spend as much time debating fictional teenagers in their heads as you seem to be.

It's so embarrassing for you, but don't worry, you can work on that! You can start by examining why that little made up trans person in your head is making you leave short essays in random people's asks about how displeased you are about how they're choosing to live their imaginary little life and what this obsession of yours says about you.

[straycalamities]

Entre's 12th Anniversary Big Birthday Bash!

Alright! So I'd say in about 11 hours, we're gonna start the festivities for Entre's birthday/blog anniversary! He'll be turning [redacted] years old today! And his blog is turning 12 :) (Sorry about the short-notice. It took me this long to come up with something.)

Official start time is 12 PM (Noon) CT (UTC -5)

My plan is we start with a Magma board and have a good old fashioned draw party! If you want to check out Magma (or aggie.io as it was absorbed into Magma) ahead of time feel free to do so! You don't need an account to draw or chat, though! We'll do that for a couple of hours.

If you don't want to draw, feel free to put out prompts or suggestions for the ones that are drawing to pick up if they want! There's a chat feature in the Magma. (You click on your name on the top right to find it.)

(But, for the record, you don't need to be da Vinci to draw. Anyone can draw if they want to regardless of skill level.)

The board's limit is 30 people, and I don't think we're hitting it so feel free to pour in.

Then after that, we'll be headed to Hyperbeam to watch one of Entre's favorite movies: Inception! Unfortunately the viewer limit is 12 people so it'll be first come, first serve. :(

Of course it'll be the big guy all day and NOT me. So. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

If you can't join for whatever reason, feel free to fill his inbox with gifts/birthday wishes! I'll get to them as I can. :)

Under the readmore is the courtesy rules so that we make sure everyone has a fun time. If you break them, it's a 3-strike system (you'll get warnings) before you're banned (on the 3rd strike) from whichever location we're at. That sounds big n scary, but they're easy to follow so don't stress much about it.

Overall Rules: (For clarification on anything just ask me/Entre.) Rules with * are insta-bans and not subject to 3-strike system.

No NSFW discussion or behavior.

No bigoted or hateful behavior. *

Stay as polite and respectful as possible. Take all beef elsewhere.

No ship wars. No askblog/onceler fandom OC favoritism or hate.

No heavy negativity, heavy topics, nor inflammatory topics.

No trolling of any kind. (harmless jokes/pranks okay, but always use discretion/best judgement)

Magma Rules:

Do not draw on or edit other people's drawings in any way without explicit permission from the artist.

No NSFW imagery.

No triggering imagery. (Like the basic stuff: self-harm, gore, etc. If you have a question on what you're allowed to draw, ask me/Entre.)

Do not abuse the Magma permissions/tools. (excessively making layers, moving layers around, etc.)

Do not draw outside your area/draw all over the whole canvas. Leave ample space for everyone to have a spot.

Hyperbeam Rules:

No spoilers.

Do not spam the chat.

The movie has been chosen and there will not be a different one, if you do not like the movie choice, you do not have to join.

[just-antithings]

There's a relatively well-known place that archives art that has recently changed its stance on lolisho. If they said "for legal reasons where we're hosted" that would be disappointing but fine. Instead their rules said "it should go without saying that it isn't allowed"

Why? You used to allow it. Your motto makes a point that it's censorship to make value judgements about what should be archived and thus you are maximally inclusive. You allow bigoted art and guro art and real-person-guro-bigoted art. But this is where you draw the line?

I just feel betrayed because their motto and decent tagging system (where extreme/offensive content is hidden by default) made me trust that they wouldn't pull this kind of thing. It makes me more pessimistic about the possibility AO3 one day getting infiltrated by antis.

[homunculus-argument]

Trying to explain my family dynamics to people is odd because if/when I explain that I don't talk to my family anymore because they won't and can't learn to be respectful and be nice to people, people tend to assume that they don't approve of me being gay, trans, etc. The thing is, they're not bigots. They pride themselves on being progressive people, that's not what they're judgemental about. They just disapprove of everything else you do and feel.

I've always admired the kind of men who can pull off flamboyant and outrageously flashy clothes and once remarked to my family that I wish I could do that too, but I couldn't pass for male while doing that. My family disapproved of this notion - of course men can wear whatever they want, and vaguely remarked something about fragile masculinity and men who are too cowardly to do things that make them happy out of fear of being judged.

Their tone was not "you shouldn't feel self-conscious about whether you pass or not", but "you should feel ashamed of feeling self-conscious about this."

The last time I went on a vacation with my family, my mother had developed some sort of marks on her legs - she's 60, perfectly healthy, and apparently the spots are harmless and just a sign of old age. When she half-jokingly asked us if she can still go out without concealing stockings with those marks showing, my sister chided her about even thinking that, of course she could still go out and how dare she worry about what people think.

And while it might sound supportive while recounted like this, her tone was not "you shouldn't feel self-conscious about natural marks of ageing", but "you should feel ashamed of feeling self-conscious about this."

My family aren't bigots, they've got all the correct opinions about everything. They'll just judge you for not thinking and feeling the correct things about everything.

[unpopularfanopinion]

DNI labels are funny because I can 100% not be who they hate, but it just comes across as obnoxious and weird. It's like a dude screeching to himself in the middle of a town square that certain people shouldn't approach him. I mean you do you dude, but there's no way in hell I'm getting close either

I mentioned in an earlier post the possibility of someone slipping a slur into their DNI lists and labels. Even if you’re not a part of that marginalized group you’re likely going to be grateful for that enormous red flag and avoid that asshole. Because it’s rather obvious that DNI list isn’t about someone trying to protect their peace and mental health by setting boundaries. It’s about hurting and violating someone else’s peace and wellbeing by signaling “I don’t feel any need to see and treat you like a human being worthy of dignity or respect.”

The more I think about it the more I can’t help but see DNI lists as a weird(and rather ineffective way) for people to try to shame and control the people around them. Because instead of saying “don’t engage in XYZ topic with me” they’re saying “these people aren’t allowed around me” even if what they’re doing or saying has nothing to do with what’s going(like saying Muslims DNI on a random piece of fanart) It’s really nonsensical and disrespectful for no good reason other than to insult Muslims.

I can’t help but think that the people who act like DNI lists or labels are somehow holy or sancrosanct, never to be mocked, questioned, or judged. And are perfectly acceptable and appropriate in all places and situations are both weirdly controlling, and the type of person who is okay with bigotry, discrimination, and bullying as long as the bigot gives the right justification.

And no. You don’t get to hurt others and violate their peace in the name of “setting boundaries” at least not without some judgement and mockery tossed your way.

[octosan]

I've been wanting to find a way to articulate more of my thoughts about what Veilguard ultimately did with Solas and why it feels like they did and did not take him out of character to me, because said thoughts are a mess.

And fair warning that this is going to be critical of Veilguard (and Inquisition a little bit) because essentially I feel like what they did is soft-retconned key parts of the narrative to make Solas both more sympathetic and less sympathetic in ways that are (imo) a disservice to the character.

Let me explain,

Part 0: This is the page I am on

First off let me open by saying that I always thought of Solas as someone who, in regards to his main plans, knew exactly what he was doing. I think it makes the most sense that someone who has been waging a war against vastly more powerful opponents for literal millennia be intelligent, decisive, manipulative, and unwilling to leave things to chance. I think it makes the most sense for such a person to rarely be wrong in evaluating and executing his intended plans, because against someone with literal godlike power being wrong would presumably mean being dead.

I also think it makes the most sense that such a person, who was continually given extremely difficult choices during his years of leadership, to have gained a level of ruthlessness that few other characters in the setting can claim. I think it makes sense that such a character could become horrendously bigoted, as well as jaded, by their own (again, millennia of) negative life experience. I think it makes sense for such a character to become proud to a fault, convinced that they are correct in what they do, even at times when they don't want to be.

At the same time, Solas is also portrayed as being highly principled. At least, I think that was Weekes' intention with the character. You can see at multiple points in Inquisition, through banter and approval, what things he feels the most strongly about and how he does not like to compromise on them. Protecting and nurturing free will, doing your duty to your people, and never doing harm (without a good cause rlly important clause there lmao) are common points suggested with him. Slavery in all its forms is a particularly sore point with him.

I've always thought that Solas' biggest flaws interacted with his guiding principles in interesting ways. That both combined to make him into an extremely dangerous, but understandable (if not sympathetic) antagonist.

I don't vibe with takes that all of Solas' principles are a smokescreen and he's just selfish or just nursing a bruised ego. Don't get me wrong, he says some thoughtlessly cruel things in Inquisition that I can see why the most critical fans feel the ways they do about him. But imo there's a lot of stuff he says and does that is narratively meaningless if caring about people (his people first and foremost, but other people as well) is not a core part of his character. For all his flaws, I personally never got the impression that this was the intention.

Though I also don't vibe with takes that Solas, in his goals and plans to achieve them, is objectively correct either. I think a lot of it comes down to what Solas' actual plan for the veil is and why he's tearing it down in the first place.

Part 1: Solas' Plan (and Lack Thereof)

Veilguard portrays (or at least casts judgement on) a version of Solas who is going at the Veil without much of an actual plan. He is demonstrated as having made a prison to keep the Evanuris from escaping when it comes down, yes, but that's clearly a side concern. He claims he will try to minimize the damage to Thedas, and this is explained to mean that he planned to have spirits intervene to protect people from demons, which is an extremely uncertain method of limiting casualties.

The game refuses to even address what he thinks is going to happen to the elves when the Veil comes down. To go by Epler's AMA response, he seems to just be blindly assuming that all elves will become immortal again when exposed to that much magic, and the game does not suggest one way or the other if that is actually true--the motive to give elves back their immortality is only even suggested in one missable sidequest cutscene.

It's very strange to me that now, with the story finished and the franchise never planning to come back to it, we still don't get an elaboration on what Solas planned. What he was expecting to happen. Unless I missed it, the only explanations we get of what will happen when the Veil comes down, and thus the only thing we can accept as being true, is that the world will be "flooded with demons" and the result of this will be that "thousands of people" will die, and ostensibly the elves will regain their immortality (and command of magic, but iirc even that isn't stated and is just an assumption.)

I absolutely did not think that was the entirety of Solas' plan to bring back the old world. You know why I didn't think that?

Because we heard Solas' original plans in Inquisition.

Low approval dialogue, if you argue with Solas that he should be helping the elves, has this gem of a line:

PC: The man who has lived half his life in the Fade has no ideas? Solas: Not unless we collapse the Veil and bring the Fade here so I can casually reshape reality, no.

At the time, this line is treated as sarcasm or an intentionally absurd suggestion he made because he's irritated with you. But in Trespasser, once you learn the truth about who he is, there is another line of dialogue that suggests that this was actually what Solas intended initially.

PC: What would have happened if Corypheus had died and you’d recovered the orb? Solas: I would have entered the Fade, using the mark you now bear. Then I would have torn down the Veil. As this world burned in the raw chaos, I would have restored the world of my time… the world of the elves.

Isn't this wild?

His plan was actually even worse than Veilguard suggested it to be. It's not that he's okay with some collateral damage to (somehow) restore the elves. He was okay with the entirety of Thedas as being collateral damage. To me it doesn't even sound like the demons themselves would have been the problem, moreso the primordial energy that would spill back in.

And we'll get into what else Trespasser suggested about his plan in Part 2 but the point is that the Veil coming down is portrayed as only being step 1, and step 2 is something that Solas has to guide himself. Even the ending of Veilguard suggests this a little bit? I don't know if intentionally, though. Solas, in the ending where you attack him, has a throwaway line about the "enchantments" needing a "delicate touch" as he goes to finish his ritual, which strikes me as an odd thing to say when the Veil was already falling down and that was the only part of his plan that the game dwelled on. It only makes sense in light of the Trespasser conversation, but I feel like the rest of the game ignores parts of the Trespasser conversation, so I don't know what to think.

Veilguard just isn't interested in exploring what this guidance on Solas' part looks like or what it would actually do to the world. It's content to be vague about it. I am not. I did not want it to stay vague at this last stage of the story.

What enchantments? What are the limits to this reality reshaping he mentioned in Inquisition? How did he intend to restore the Old World? How, specifically, did he think this would be helping the elves? Is there a way that the Veil can come down and not kill everyone in Thedas?

The intelligence of Solas' plan, and therefore his character, depends on the answers to these questions and I never got them! The game won't reward me for making assumptions on them either because the overriding narrative here is "the Veil can't come down, no matter what" so there's no reason to examine what he wants to do with it.

I also think it's weird that they changed it to a comparatively flimsier "thousands of people will die" anyway. I've seen multiple players point out that likely way more people died in the Double Blight that came from disrupting Solas' ritual than the amount of people the characters say would have died if we hadn't. Players who suggest that the resultant disruption to Thedas was so great and the Veil coming down so undersold as a threat that they actually blame Rook not helping Solas with his ritual in the beginning. Which is obviously not the narrative the devs wanted here. If they'd made it clear that Solas planned to destroy all/most of modern Thedas (even if reluctantly) then we wouldn't have this dissonance with players so much, I think.

But in regards to "getting him his goals", I think the intelligence of the plan also relies on figuring out what those goals even are. Veilguard was not terribly interested in those either.

Part 2: Solas' Motivations (and Lack Thereof)

Much like Veilguard evades telling the player what specifically Solas was planning to do with the Veil coming down, it also doesn't really touch on his motivations?

Harding suggests at the opening that he wants to bring back the old world because it is "beautiful". Solas himself claims he has to take down the Veil purely because it is "unnatural", a neutral fact that doesn't address anything, and because it is a "wound" on the world, a negative phrase which is nonetheless not defined. What does it mean that it's a wound? What is happening to Thedas because the Veil is in place? What are the ramifications of leaving it up? I saw little explanation of that in this game, despite previous entries leaving a lot of interesting details to draw on.

We know from the introduction that Solas bringing the Veil up made the elves mortal and destroyed their world, and one of the mural cutscenes suggests that taking it down might give elves their immortality back. So that's another one.

But his main motivation in Veilguard is presented to be simply the fact that Solas regrets having put it up in the first place. In the ending of the game, when he is trying to explain his reasons to (potentially) the literal love of his life who is begging him to stop what he's doing, the reason Solas gives is that if he doesn't take down the Veil then Mythal will have died for nothing. It's the Sunken Cost Fallacy. Yes, he also says that he will "destroy the world [Mythal] loved" but he doesn't elaborate on what this means, just like the "wound" comment, even when it would have been extremely relevant and helpful to his cause to lay his cards on the table here and be honest about what he wants if there is more to it.

So players who have never played prior games are forced to conclude that Solas has no good reason to take down the Veil.

Which might work well enough for Veilguard's narrative of Solas, but it certainly makes his "don't you think if I had another way I would have done it?" to Varric and his "I would treasure the chance to be proven wrong" to a friendly Inquisitor meaningless phrases in retrospect. I personally don't find it more compelling when a heretofore intelligent and principled character breaks their principles for no good reason. I prefer a principled antagonist who breaks their principles for an understandable reason, a reason that the protagonists will have to put in real work to challenge if their goal is to redeem said antagonist.

And I think prior to Veilguard, Solas' motivations were ones that were worth challenging.

Part 2A: Solas' People (and Lack Thereof)

For example, he wants to bring down the Veil to help spirits. There is dialogue between him and the Inquisitor early on that in the days of Elvhenan, spirits were everywhere in the waking world because the waking world was filled with magic. Cole in Trespasser can suggest this too, as a spirit Cole is ecstatic to realize that he "belongs" in the mortal world as much as he does the Fade once they learn that the two were once the same thing. There is an implication that spirits who wish to visit the mortal world become demons because they can't do so without possessing something (unless they are extremely powerful.) Similarly, in Inquisition many spirits were forcibly pulled into the mortal world and twisted into demons in places where the Veil was torn, because they couldn't handle the existential crisis that is a world without magic. The most spirits who show up in Thedas in this setting, do so in places where the Veil is thin, and the Veil is only ever thin in places of great suffering, meaning those spirits reflect that suffering themselves.

Not only does Veilguard never examine this concept as one of Solas' motivations, but they seem to have tried very hard to erase the validity of it from previous games. You would not know, playing Veilguard, that most spirits cannot enter the mortal world without a physical vessel, or that the Veil has been detrimental for spirits. Spirits are all over the Crossroads, and the implication is that they could always go there. You encounter plenty of them in Rivain, Nevarra, and Tevinter, and they are happy, healthy, free, uncontained to a vessel, and even largely capable of retaining their selves under pressure. This is entirely at odds with previous depictions of Thedas and its relationship with spirits. Yes, Nevarra and Rivain have more welcoming cultures and so it makes a little more sense (though not terribly so imo) for you to see more of them around and treated better, but it's not like anyone acknowledges this as outside the norm for the rest of Thedas. Inquisition in particular made a point about how much people hate and distrust them because they're such an unknown to mortals. In Tevinter, they are technically as much victims of magister slavery as elves, at least so Dorian and Solas' banter suggests.

Solas wanting to make the world better for spirits is a particularly important goal for him in retrospect because he was once a spirit, so it's a low blow to his character that it's never acknowledged in this game about stopping him.

But anyway, now we have the whole deal with the elves. This is where I see a lot of the discussion divide. I've seen people argue that Solas should have been allowed to enact his plan because it would end the very real oppression and cultural genocide that elves are facing, and I've seen people say that his plan would not have actually helped the elves at all and so it was a bad plan. I'm not sure how I feel about these takes.

Mostly because I personally did not think that Solas' plan, at least initially, was to end the oppression of elves. I think that if he'd been allowed to carry his plan out, the oppression of elves would end, but only because the entirety of Thedas' oppressive power structures would cease to exist along with its society. I did not think his true goal was to give modern elves their immortality back either, though I guess I can say I judged him wrong on that front in Veilguard. I thought, at best, that helping modern elves became a secondary goal for him later down the line, once he realized modern Thedosians are people--and for a low approval Solas may he rest in retconned peace it was a benefit to help him recruit. In The Dread Wolf Take You, for example, he does have a comment to Charter that the "elves that remain" like her might think his world is a better place when he's done. This could have been a lie to let her think better of his goal, or it could have been the truth and his intention was to somehow spare at least some of the elves what is coming.

The reason I believe that it is only secondary, however, is because Solas for most of Inquisition does not consider modern elves to be his people. He makes it clear he does not identify with the Dalish early on, but even when it comes to non-Dalish elves, which he ostensibly is, he has this line towards the Inquisitor after the Wicked Hearts quest:

PC: I hope Briala uses her position to help your people. Solas: How would helping Briala help… Oh, you mean elves! Solas: I’m sorry, I was confused. I do not consider myself to have much in common with the elves.

PC: Nor should you. You’re not defined by the shape of your ears. They’re not your people. Solas: No, they are not.

This whole exchange can be kind of dfgkdfkgksd ehhh but I think the salient point is that Solas does not identify with modern elves and slipped up when he made this clear.

And yet, he does have people, he isn't just a solitary misanthrope like he tries to shake that off with. He clearly does have people and moreover it is for them that he is doing what he's doing.

Trespasser has this line, for example:

PC: You’d murder countless people? Solas: Wouldn’t you, to save your own?

Consider also that there is an aspect to his motivations that he deliberately refused to tell the Inquisitor at the end of Trespasser.

PC: Why does this world have to die for the elves to return? Solas: A good question, but not one I will answer. Solas (high approval): You have always shown a thoughtfulness I respected. It would be too easy to tell you too much. Solas (low approval): You will survive this day, Inquisitor, and though I owed you an explanation, I will not give you tools to use against me.

I find this exchange so very interesting. There is a reason why the restoration of his world has to result in the end of ours, but he won't tell us because he believes it would give us the tools to stop him. Even on low approval he is comfortable with us knowing that he intends to destroy the world, but not the reason why he has to.

As far as I can tell Veilguard didn't do anything interesting with this. But originally I thought it had to do specifically with his people, the ancient immortal elves, and what he would do to get them back. To bring it back to a previous point, I did not think that it was just in giving the modern day elves their immortality back because I can't see how telling the Inquisitor this would give them the tools to use against him, especially if you yourself are an elf.

I know I saw some people speculate that Solas was trying to bring them back with time travel, as a reference to the Hushed Whispers quest, but even though I could see the Dragon Age devs doing that because the time travel stuff was silly in the first place and yet they decided it was a good plot point anyway I didn't think that was it either? It didn't feel thematically punchy enough.

And as a warning the next section will be getting into more speculative territory, but

Part 2B: The Ancient Elvhen (and Lack Thereof)

So, I don't think it's a huge secret that Inquisition presented the idea that the immortal elves of Arlathan never entirely went away.

We see this in the fact that there are immortal elves, obviously. Solas, Felassan, Abelas, and the rest of the sentinels at the Temple of Mythal are all elves who lived in the days of Arlathan, and yet are still alive thousands of years later, walking about in modern day Thedas. Furthermore, Solas in particular hints to Abelas that there are even more immortal elves than him. Consider the fact that if you're a Lavellan in the temple, Abelas distinctly denies that you number among his people, and in fact if I'm remembering rightly, calls you a shemlen regardless of your race.

And yet when speaking with Solas, he has this to say:

Solas: There are other places, friend. Other duties. Your people yet linger. Abelas: Elvhen such as you? Solas: Yes. Such as I.

Solas who is, of course, an immortal elf. It's even possible that he is one Abelas knows personally, given the importance Solas once had to Mythal. My Lavellan listening to that like wtf :(

Consider also the banter that Solas can have with Cole, if you romanced him and got to the breakup scene after this quest:

Cole: He hurts, an old pain from before, when everything sang the same. Cole: You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't. Cole: They sleep, masked in a mirror, hiding, hurting, and to wake them... (Gasps.) Where did it go? Solas: I apologize, Cole. That is not a pain you can heal.

This banter is never examined in Veilguard! Who is hiding? Who is hurting? The fact that "waking" them is on the table suggests to me that it is sleeping elves, perhaps like the sentinels who only woke to defend Mythal's temple and slept the rest of the time. In the context of Cole trying to explain to Lavellan why Solas broke up with her (and more important, Solas wanting to make sure she does not know this information,) I thought this line referred specifically to Solas' true people, the reason he was doing all of this.

The idea that there are other ancient elves out there, sleeping somewhere, suffering for some reason, as they wait for the Dread Wolf to bring the Veil down and wake them. The "masked in a mirror" part felt especially interesting to me because there's a part in the Masked Empire novel where Briala and Felassan (among other people) come across a couple elves that were allegedly sleeping in Uthenara, in a location they were only able to get to by traveling the Crossroads, which are located through eluvians. In that scene, Felassan gets very upset to see that these particular elves have apparently been killed in their sleep.

It makes me wonder if this is why Solas had to hide this possibility from the Inquisitor at all costs, especially from a low-approval Inquisitor. His motivations for doing all of this are the countless elves, his version of elves, who are scattered all over and currently helpless as they sleep. I can't help but imagine that a particularly desperate modern Thedosian might consider if removing the Dread Wolf's reason to bring down the Veil might not be the only way of stopping him from doing it.

Veilguard doesn't follow up on any of these plot threads. In fact, someone who has never read the novel might even come away from the game with the impression that Solas and the Evanuris are the only immortal elves that survived to Modern Thedas, as even Felassan's role in The Masked Empire is obscured from the player.

It's a shame because if they'd kept this plot point relevant it would have been a major challenge to overcome in persuading Solas not to bring down the Veil. Presuming he is talking about the ancient elves, Cole's dialogue suggests to me that it is the process of waking them, or some element of it, which necessitates that Solas destroy the rest of Thedas.

This brings up an important question, potentially even a difficult choice. Which society do you think is worth saving? Would you be willing to let an entire people sleep and suffer for eternity just to preserve your way of life? Could you convince Solas to allow that? Solas, who sees Thedas as so corrupt and terrible to elves and spirits, who fought so hard to give his fellow elves a more ideal world which never came to fruition?

Also yes the sleeping and suffering to preserve your way of life thing IS ironic because that is exactly what he did to the titans but the game was so uninterested in exploring that too.

And like, to be clear, I never thought that Dragon Age would actually have the player make that kind of terrible choice. Even in Origins you were sometimes given the chance to take a third option that benefited everyone if you did a bit of digging. And both Inquisition and the opening of this game teased the idea of you convincing Solas there was another way. I guess what that third option actually looked like would have depended on more specifics. Mainly, why waking them requires that modern Thedas be destroyed.

Ehh I wonder if any of this was even on the table when Trespasser was written. Maybe I read it all wrong.

-----------

All in all, I personally did not really have a problem with what Solas was willing to do in this game. But when it came to the "why", I found myself really struggling with it after thinking about it for a while.

At the very least, I feel as though what I speculated above would have made Solas' motivations more understandable, even if, again, it did not ultimately make them sympathetic. Going just by what is shown in the game, Solas' actual motivations in Veilguard are not nearly as understandable to me, especially because not even a single elf or spirit is shown as wanting him to do it dfkgksdfk.

And clearly that is what they wanted for this narrative, but I can't believe it makes him more compelling as an antagonist in the franchise as a whole. I like him as a classic trolley problem dude.

Also he literally ignored Mythal when she told him not to do it in the regret mural and yet it's Mythal telling him he doesn't have to do it later that finally makes him stop? I guess Flemythal didn't realize the code word was "I release you from my service" or smth

Also,

Idk man. Thinking about it and I'm still so sad the ancient elves were a dropped plot point. I guess it's possible, with all the racism already shoved offscreen in this game, that onscreen racial tension between even these two different factions of elves was too tall an order.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas hope youre having a good holiday season

im kind of struggling with how my life is going and i just need to tell someone and you genuinely are like a big sibling to me

so to start im 17 and homeschooled in a conservative christian household im also genderfluid and either pan or omni im not sure on that part yet

i have two brothers and both parents. my parents have made it very clear that if youre trans your faking it and if you are gay its a choice.

i found out that my older brother is both homophobic and racist while discusing the live action how to train your dragon movie he said and i quote " i just dont see why they have to insert their lgbtois agenda" the subject of queer people was never mentoned so i asked him what that had to do with the actresses skin color and he responded with "the b in lgbtq stands for black" i said no it stands for bisexual and he responded with "how do you know?" i said it was common knowledge and he still went on about character designs and how a character looks reflects who they are

i really want to tell my family that im part of the community they think is so wrong but i dont know what will happen

conversion therapy has been my bigest fear ever since i figured out who i was its illegal in my state but its not in the state next to mine and that state is within driving distance and i know that if my parents really thing it will be best for me they wont hesitate to send me

my dad said he wants me to always be honest with him about what i believe even if he doesnt agree but i really dont know if thats true and i feel stuck because im surrounded by christians who all preach no judgement but then i watch as they ruthlessly judge others without knowing anything about that person

sorry if this was too long but i needed to tell somebody before i burst

-rex

Hi!

I'm so sorry your family is like this. It's an awful thing to deal with <3

I think if there's any fear for your safety (I.e. conversion camp) you should wait to tell them until you're of legal age. I know it's absolutely horrible to think about hiding a huge part of you, but when your safety is an issue, it's much better to wait. Instead, could you find a support system outside of them? Maybe some supportive friends or adults at school?

I know it's hard to deal with bigoted family, but focus on your safety until you're 18. Then you can start to try to express yourself more <3

My wife has named you eggshell anon

[qu33nr04dk1ll]

welcome to my blog !!⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

before you continue scrolling, i would like you to know that i bring up some pretty heavy stuff here, as i have a tendency to vent on here quite a bit.

i bring up sh and disordered eating quite a bit, as well as grooming and cocsa. if you are in recovery or if you are sensitive to these topics, i strongly advise you go look at something else !!

✧༺ʚ♡ɞ༻✧

DNI: non-ed/sh/vent accounts, bigots, proshippers*, fatphobes, anti recovery, ed fetishists, creeps in general (i will post your acc on here so don't even), and coaches

*i have trauma relating to a lot of the stuff that they post. on top of the moral implications, i do not want to witness material that relates to said trauma or material that led me to believe that my "relationship" with my abuser/groomer was normal.

✧༺ʚ♡ɞ༻✧

hii !! my name is eden, i'm 17 years old, i am agender, and i use any pronouns

i like to collect vintage dolls, listen to music, do food polls on twitter, doodle, play video games, and watch movies/tv shows

i have a serious addiction to collecting dolls and i get super excited anytime i add a new one to my collection !! i have about 11(?) dolls that i've either thrifted or that my grandma gave me. i also have some plushies and other vintage stuff !!

i also love to collect cds. they're mostly grunge, although i do have a few that are of different genres. i have nirvana, alice in chains, smashing pumpkins, hole, paw, panic! at the disco, jimi hendrix, and pearl jam as well as some other miscellaneous records. i have a few vinyls and cassettes as well.

a few movies and tv shows that i like are carrie (the first one. the new ones weren't that good), the corpse bride, south park, moral orel, girl interrupted, jennifer's body, breaking bad, skins uk, dinner in america, the rocky horror picture show, breaking bad, maxxxine, scott pilgrim vs the world (and the anime), buffalo 66', lisa frankenstein, repulsion, the witch, and probably some other stuff that i forgot.

on to some more serious stuff i guess ??

i've been dealing with self injury for about 2 years on and off as well as disordered eating. i've tried to recover from both and use different coping mechanisms but i just don't feel like i'm ready to stop. i am pro recovery though and think that you should be able to recover at your own pace !!

i also have trauma relating to cocsa and grooming which will be mentioned occasionally as this is a vent account. i've experienced cocsa multiple times throughout my life and was groomed by a relative up until he was about to turn 18. i hope that eventually i'll be able to get over all this and move on with my life.

i hope that through my blog i'll be able to find other people that i can relate to who are going through similar things and that maybe i'll be able to have a safe space to talk about my issues without judgement.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (27F) am still living with my parents due to financial reasons and covid pushing my college education back. I've either worked or done full time college since I was 18 and i have helped my parents out. I'm fully moving out, hopefully, this fall, but things have been sticky since.

My mother is controlling and has very little respect for my boundaries. For 13 years, she has made comments about my phone having a password she doesn't know. She regularly remarks about all the "self restraint" it takes her to not go into my room when I'm not home and reorganize my dresser and bookshelf. I feel like I can never relax because of having to justify my free time to her. I am 27 and have had fights with her over my bedtime. In the past back when I voice chatted people, she would get angry when I tried to set aside any time at home to not be interrupted. She's yelled at me when I was on mic for stuff like not opening a window, which she then did and had no reason to yell at me for except to embarrass me.

I'm Queer and my family knows but pretends I'm not in daily life, and she makes incredibly judgemental homophobic, transphobic, and sometimes racist comments when watching TV or when there's something LGBT related in the news or going around her feed, yet she thinks she isn't a bigoted person/that she's been a great parent. When I had a trans male friend over 5 years ago she launched into a tirade about fake gender and me "pulling a prank" on her and a lot of things I won't repeat but it was bad enough I haven't had a single person come by since. Any friend time is outside of the house. I keep all my friends away from her.

Thing is, she also blames me for never going outside or having her own life. She wants to rely on me or other people for everything even though she can drive. She lost an eye to cancer, something I took care of her all the way though, but she has driven, has a fake eye so no one can tell she's missing an eye, and has a special mirror on the car so she can see in her blindspot. But she won't go out alone and even before he vision loss she always wanted someone with her out of anxiety.

So all this summer she wants me to be her valet, basically, saying she'll get into the habit of going places if I go with her, but saying any "attitude" from me in the past is the reason why she stopped caring about herself or going outside.

I want to have very basic boundaries respected and have my own free time, but she keeps making her living at all on me and expecting sunshine and rainbows while being controlling and only accepting very certain reactions. Any time I try to be assertive about things like my own bedtime, she asks me why I "turn everything into a power struggle" when she's the one who starts things.

I don't want to spend time with her, even though I know she has gone though things and has lost an eye. I feel miserable, isolated, and like I can't even have resting bitch face without being accused of something. I just want her to live her own life and not need me to escort her everywhere because of her paranoia, and I'm trying to spend time away and give pushback about boundaries. AITA for trying to swerve her?

What are these acronyms?

[your-subby-creature]

Intro Post:

Hi! I finally remembered to make one of these, let me know if I missed anything :^)

Last updated: 09/02/24

——————————————————————

Basics

Names: Creature or Hal/Halogen

Age: 20

Pronouns: he/it/pet/they

Gender: Genderqueer Trans Man

Interested in: anyone of any gender, especially other queer and trans people <3

Relationship status: Relationship Anarchist, single

Role: Submissive Verse (leaning bottom)

DNI: Minors, Pedos (MAPS/NOMAPS/PEARS),bestiality/zeta, bigots of any kind or those who fetishize them, ED / weight blogs, self-harm (SH) blogs, no age in bio/pinned, anyone who doesn't believe that consent is always and forever the highest priority

Non-kinky interests: queer & trans community and history, art, crochet, baking, podcasts, nonfiction books, disability and neurodiversity, paganism, psychology, language/linguistics, history (I'll love you forever and also never shut up if you ask me about my research <3)

What I look like: Since I don't post or send pictures I should probably describe myself. I'm a white 5'0" (152.4 cm) fat and invisibly disabled guy. I'm entirely hairless due to an autoimmune condition (alopecia!), have grey eyes, and wear glasses.

DMs: Open

Asks: Open

Taken Emoji Anons: 🐑, 🍯🐾, ☆, ✨️,🎀, 🦴, 🐺🦊🐶, 🦊🕳, 📸

Tags: #Creature originals (original posts), #Creature responds (asks) #Creature scenes (based on scenes in dms or requested) #Creature rambles (misc thoughts), #Creature Studies (academia), #Creature polls (polls) #Creature denial (denial challenges) #puppy playtime saga continues (exactly what it sounds like)

——————————————————————

Kinks

Favorites: cnc, obedience, (cock)worship, control, praise, (loving) degradation, humiliation, objectification, hypnosis, free use, training, pet names, pain, impact, bruising/marking, cockwarming, discipline, sexual torture, ownership, oral fixation, dehumanization, boywife, petplay, orgasm control, body writing, domesticity, cages, corruption, experimentation/scientist kink, anal,

Soft limits: blood, detrans/misgendering (just ask first), light choking or breathplay, heavy piss, light burning, kidnapping, rimming, needles, bratting, wet and messy, lactation, vomit, primal chasing, spitting in my mouth, heartbeat/cardiophilia

Hard limits: Raceplay, scat, abdl, bestiality/zeta, snuff/gore, pregnancy / birthing, sissification/feminization, hard breathplay, drowning, real incest, feederism, guns, fat fetishism, bald fetishism, SH fetishism, ED fetishism, farts/eprocto, abandonment, fuckpig, sub/sub competition, prolapse, ocular trauma

Presume anything not listed above is something I am neutral to / okay with. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

My body: I am on T but have not had any surgery. Acceptable terms include chest, tits, slit, cunt, pussy, hole, (t)cock, (t)dick, and ___parts (e.g. puppy parts or needy parts, etc.)

Terms: I love masculine, neutral, or objectifying terms! Anything that is not explicitly feminizing (eg good girl, princess) is fine; whore, slut, cunt, and bitch are alright. Do not call me slurs without asking. Never use the words annoying, worthless, useless, or pig(gy) in reference to me.

Safewords: For scenes and role-playing I tend to use the stoplight system (green/yellow/red), but if asked for a unique personal safeword, I use "Fluoride"

——————————————————————

Interacting

Pictures / Videos: DO NOT ASK ME FOR PICTURES OR VIDEOS. Presume that I will NEVER send them unless I initiate and explicitly ask your consent to send them. However, feel free to send me any pictures or videos of yourself or of things you find hot (as long as it's all legal and consensual and doesn't violate my limits.)

Audios: I MIGHT send audios with your consent during role-play through a Vocaroo link that I will delete once the scene ends. This is subject to my own judgement, but you are always welcome to ask. You are free to send any (legal, consensual, limit-abiding) audio whenever you'd like.

Calls: Presume that I WILL NOT call you (yes, even on platforms where I don't have to give out my number) unless I initiate and explicitly ask. This is due to privacy concerns and is non-negotiable.

Asks: Asks are open and I love them! I'll always try to answer them, unless they directly violate one of my limits or ask me to doxx myself in some way.

Messages: Anyone is free to message me! I will always try to respond unless it goes against one of my limits, and I reserve the right to stop messaging at any time. Feel free to role-play, scene with me, etc. You get one strike on misgendering me in messages (e.g. "good girl") before the scene immediately stops and you most likely get blocked.

Role-play, flirting, or scenes: Within the confines of my limits and the understanding that either of us can stop or revoke consent at ANY TIME, feel free to role-play, flirt, or scene with me. Please note: I am autistic and have a tendency to unmask during scenes where I'm being given orders to enact IRL. For me this means following certain patterns of typing, taking instructions literally, and requiring clear directions.

Meet-ups: I WILL NOT meet up with you. Non-negotiable.

[acourtofthought]

Lucien has not stood in the way of Elain choosing to be with anyone.

“Elain loves this lord’s son.” Not quite a question.

“And then I’ll ask your mate how he survived it—knowing you were engaged to someone else. Sharing another male’s bed.”

She did not love him, want him, need him. Another male’s bride. A mortal man’s wife. Or she would have been.

“I’ll go.” Lucien was staring at Elain as he spoke. We all looked at him. Lucien shifted his focus to Rhys, to me. “I’ll go,” he repeated, rising to his feet. “To find this sixth queen.” He glanced at Elain, who was again studying her lap. “I’m not needed here.

“Good. But is she still …” A muscle flickered in his jaw. “Does she still mourn him?”

“She was deeply in love with him, Lucien.” His russet eye flashed with simmering rage. An uncontrollable instinct—for a mate to eliminate any threat. But he remained sitting. Even as his fingers dug into the arms of his chair. I continued, “It has only been a few months. Graysen made it clear that the engagement is ended, but it might take her a while longer to move past it.”. Again that rage. Not from jealousy, or any threat, but—“He’s as fine a prick as any I’ve ever encountered.” Lucien had encountered him, I realized. Somehow, in living with Jurian and Vassa at that manor, he’d run into Elain’s former betrothed. And managed to leave the human lord breathing.

First, Lucien walked away once he realized Elain was not over Graysen, walked away so his mate could try to be happy without him.

After the war Lucien could have killed Graysen, the most major threat to his mating bond with Elain at that point. It didn't matter that Graysen rejected Elain because Elain was still in love with Graysen and Lucien was fully aware of that.

Graysen was a fae hating human and while Lucien thinks he's a prick he never once voiced judgement that Elain chose Graysen like the others did. He never made a comment along the lines of "How can she be interested in him?". He simply respected the fact that she did.

“And Elain,” Rhys said, sighing as he removed his other boot, “should not be marrying that lord’s son, not for about a dozen reasons

“Is he good—the lord’s son she’s to marry?” “She thinks he is. She loves him like he is.” “And what do you think?” Nesta’s eyes—my eyes, our mother’s eyes—met mine. “His father built a wall of stone around their estate so high even the trees can’t reach over it. I think it looks like a prison.”

“Why are you letting her marry that bigoted prick?” The question snapped out of him.

“You have a damned opinion on everyone else in the world. Why not tell Elain she’s marrying a monster?”

“She deserves better than someone like that.” “Indeed she does.” Flat and cold.

So if Lucien was willing to walk away from his mate so she could try to reconnect with her fiance (as fine a prick as any he encountered, even his insults are elegant) who she was in love with and agreed to marry, who she had sex with, then why does anyone think Lucien will stand in the way of Elain wanting to be with Az if that is in fact what she wants.

To date, Elain has not told anyone that she wants to be with Az, that she has feelings for Az beyond the physical. If she wanted to be with him, why not just be with him? No one is standing in Elain's way, certainly not Lucien. Not even Rhys because as far as we can tell, she wasn't aware of what was discussed between he and Az on Solstice (though wouldn't it be amazing if she did hear and gave the necklace back because of how Az acted? 😈).

But I'm getting off track because my point was it Lucien has always been willing to step aside so Elain could go back to Graysen, if he did nothing to Graysen or Elain before or after the war knowing she still loved him (despite what his instincts may have wanted him to do), then why are we thinking he'd stand in the way of E/riel? There's no forbidden love when a male is willing to suffer in silence while the mate he longs for takes time to decide what she wants even if it doesn't currently look like him.

And you know what happens to the SJM mates who step aside to allow the female to marry another (Feylin)? To the mates who stand aside while the female they want chooses to sleep with many others (Nessian)? (In comparison, a near kiss is nothing).

They get the girl in the end.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

If there is one thing I am sure of within suicide, it is that I have no idea why men do it. And neither do you.

Even those closest to those lost; parents, partners, friends and family, are left never really knowing ‘why?’

Heartbreaking and impossible questions, that may never be fully answered, by anyone.

And yet, somehow an entire army of social justice warriors, moral guardians and cereal box psychologists, seem entitled to present their own one word answer to ‘why men do it’ anyway.

That’s right.

The devastated partner has no idea, and yet some asshole on Instagram has the answer.

Not just the answer for one man, but all men, all doing it for the same reason, apparently.

So we arrive at ‘toxic’ this, and ‘patriarchy’ that; each slogan doing its best to pathologise masculinity, and provide simple and meaningless answers, without evidence, to impossibly complex, individual problems.

And it’s not good enough.

What’s more, as a man, I have learnt to sit down and listen when it comes to women talking about women’s issues.

I agree, discussion for women, must be led by women.

So the same is true for men.

Discussion on men, and particularly male suicide, must be led by men and boys, and bereaved families, and not gate kept by bogus feminist theory.

Suicidal men, and the families of those who have lost loved ones, must be our eternal point of reference for male suicide advocacy and research. It is where we must start, and continually return to, forever and always.

More than any other, #malesuicide is not the place to make bigoted blanket assertions about masculinity or men. It is a place to listen, without judgement, and with compassion.

So let’s do that now.

Let’s ask the men dealing with suicidality, how it feels, and what we can do to help.

~

Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4611172/

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There's always a scramble to cast male suicide as a flaw of men, or maleness itself. This seems to function as a way to deny that there could be external factors that disproportionately affect men. You know, except the mythical dragon of "tHe pAtRiArChY."