#the writing isn't always the best
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When How to Get Away WIth Murder is good, it's good.
#it's an abc show that's anti cop and abolitionist#and the ACTING#(looking at u Viola)#the writing isn't always the best#but it's still fantastic#how to get away with murder
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very VERY self indulgent thing... except you can tell i got lazy
#although i kinda locked in for anything involving romeo#lies of p fanart#lies of p#lies of p pinocchio#lies of p romeo#lies of p gemini#kinda ooc? idk i did my best to portray gemini as well. gemini.#and p isn't usually so expressive ig but whoooo gafff#idk how legible my hand writing is tho#also idk if this even makes sensr#smth about having someone else memories#but theyre technically yours#but youre not you perse#but also those memories causing an uncomfortable familiarity and grief#also. p's first major change BEING his hair growing like romeo's#okay man.#dooont care#i hope this doesnt seem unbelievably stupid#as always my ''comics'' are messy....
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Love the flavor of soulmates that is a main m/f partnership dynamic that's mostly platonic but also romantic but also dysfunctional and yet completely essential - like these characters would not work without each other, but they barely work with each other, and most importantly they know each other carnally better than anyone else, but it's also not about sex at all it's about the partnership and navigating the highs and lows of intimacy and letting someone in, but also maybe they do fuck, but also maybe don't, but also...
#mythic quest#the bear#ted lasso#grimpop#sydcarmy#tedbecca#add more in the tags if you got them i can't remember any more rn#but either way this has definitely been a trend and i love it#and in every case i tend to just be on board and not swing in either direction#if they're best friends amazing and if they're a couple fantastic#as long as it's a well written dynamic i love to see it#my posts#this also goes for same sex partnerships of course but there it's a bit trickier#bc there's almost always the historic queerbaiting added layer and it's hard to not just ship them anyways#but like sam/frodo is like this for me too or enid/wednesday -#great if platonic great if romantic but they're soulmates either way and that's what matters#also this isn't every ambiguous relationship sometimes it is possible to decide#like gelphie are obviously in love and hawkeye/black widow are obviously platonic soulmates#and sometimes a couple can start off like this and get romantic (like eleanor/chidi) or platonic (like stevie/david) later#but it's the nuances and the good writing and the variety for me#we can have romantic soulmates and platonic ones and both#and i love talking about the intricacies of this#but this post was mostly to appreciate these in particular
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I'm sure this has already been done, but I was rewatching Two Towers and I could not unsee the parallels of Aragorn trying to return Arwen's necklace and the mix tape scene from 12x19 🫠
#destiel#spn#dean winchester#castiel#lotr#two towers#supernatural#the brain rot is always rotting#it's even better because there's no way Ramble On wasn't on that mix tape#i actually love that the parallel is that Dean is Arwen bc i feel like that is how Cas would view them (even though he is an immortal being#like Cas would for sure think of himself as the man not living up to his potential who isn't worthy of this ethereal and wonderful person#who loves them enough to be the one to let go (even though the other person doesn't want the sacrifice)#And Dean is Arwen who is besotted and so in love and thinks it is so obvious that they are all in and showing love through precious gifts#but of course the other person (Cas/Aragon) is clueless and is pulling away because they think it's for the best of the other person#oh and there's the whole we-are-inherently-different-and-one-of-us-will-outlive-the-other agony#although i could see it the other way too because Arwen (as an elf) is very angel coded and the whole giving up immortality bit#someone take away the keyboard before I start writing a thesis#unrelated: anyone have any elf!Castiel/human!Dean fics they want to recommend 😂
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The fans: Ugh Sonic was just so preachy. I mean obviously he's supposed to be the good guy, so any uncomfortableness I feel here and any way I feel like Sonic's choices are framed as being why some other people have shitty lives is just bad writing because he is obviously supposed to be right always, but this characterization makes no sense. Isn't he right for the things he did?
Ian Flynn, using Kitsunami to say the (barely even at this point) quiet part even louder: Hey it's almost like ever since the Mr. Tinker event we've been purposely running with the critique of Sonic as being more selfish than he appears. Sonic is upholding a system of Eggman v Sonic that currently benefits him and shuts down talk of how to improve the current system because he likes his own personal enjoyment and he's attached enough to Eggman that he'd rather Eggman pretend to be a good person than be stuck in prison for life. He doesn't even quite practice what he preaches. We are trying to show that the current hero v villain system and Sonic's recklessness currently affects some people poorly and that Sonic isn't a perfect hero.
#fandom wank#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic comics#idw sonic 2024 annual#2024 sonic annual spoilers#idw somic comic spoilers#idw sonic spoilers#idw 2024 sonic annual spoilers#i just be ramblin#god one of these days I need to commit to the sonic character essay#because you HAVE to be able to see Sonic as a multifaceted character that is surprisingly selfish and a bit self centered despite his image#as a good hero who is always right to understand what the writers for Sonic Prime and Idw Sonic are trying to do#The point is not that Sonic is secretly a bad guy or anything#the point is that we're already primed to assume that anything Sonic does is a good thing because he's a hero and protagonist of what is#considered a 'children's media'#And people who can see those moments in different games or properties times where Sonic isn't being so good as him actually not being so#good of a person are primed to explain it away as flaws of the writing or the genre at that time *because* Sonic's behavior is not said to#be bad or punished in those games#And become we're already primed to assume that Sonic is already the good guy who's making the best choices no matter what‚ it's supposed to#be shocking when the narrative takes a step back and gives a critique of this status quo by showing us the effects of it#But instead of having some sort of eye opening event or being willing to meet the narrative where it's at#99% of the people who post here got uncomfortable and just doubled down‚ saying that because these things are being pointed out and some of#Sonic's actions (that aren't even alien to the games)#are being framed in a not so good light‚ then it must not be purposeful. That it must be bad writing through and through and just bad#Sonic characterization#because for people who claim they want Sonic as a series to be deeper and more thought out they sure start to pearl clutch when they feel#like a property isn't being as shallow as the very same games they think kinda suck#anyways anyways sorry about the rant I'll get back to regularly scheduled posting after this#vent post
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do u have any writing tips dar??? Ur stories are immaculate
nonnie?? that's so sweet of you to say, thank you😭🩷 in general, a lot comes to mind bc there's so many different components to writing (i.e dialogue, characterisation, structure,, even mindset!!) so if you want to hear abt anything specific pls lmk🥺 for now tho, i've summarised a few across the subject that i think are helpful, and they will be below the cut bc i'm shit at explaining things, so i ended up writing a lot hhh
i also wanna point out that these are just things that i've personally made note of over the years from my own experiences + being friends w/ other writers, but that doesn't mean they will apply to everyone!! more than anything, i always believe that you shouldn't let other ppl dictate how you do and enjoy things, so if smth works for you and you like it, there's nothing wrong w/ that even if it contradicts an opinion you got from some rando on the internet (a.k.a. me😔💔)
Know your game
I'd like to say that in writing, there's a vein of liberty that isn't echoed in very many other creative fields; a lot of the times you can go in blind, and still make something of it because the nature of fiction is liquid — if you can imagine it, it can work. So to say, I find that nine times out of ten, room for improvement doesn't necessarily lie in the content of someone's writing, and more so its execution.
You could play a desultory game of chess without knowing all the rules, but if you wanted it to be your best match, you'd have to be aware of every move you could make, no? What you do from there then becomes a matter of choice, and choice is a landmark divider between doing something and being good at doing something. There's a difference in omissions due to lacking the technical knowledge, and omissions made because you are aware they are optimal.
Knowledge on the fundamentals of literature will always serve you, and that isn't to say you have to study all forms and contexts, but if you want to write a story, for example, it will always help to know the common elements of one. Grammar, punctuation, structure — brushing up on those things will build your toolkit, and once you've got that, you have the self-autonomy to decide what to use from it. My three favourite writers only use commas and full stops, and their works are, on all levels, spectacular. Still, if you asked them how to use a semi-colon, they'd be able to tell you.
Appreciating the basics will also tie into your creative exploration as a writer, which is a cornerstone in developing your distinctive writing style. I doubt a person in any type of craft hasn't heard a variation of know the rules before you break them, so studying until you do, inside out, remains beneficial to both new and old writers alike.
2. Have a starting point
This tip is fairly applicable to a range of different types of writing, and how one would practice it depends strongly on individual preference and styles of working. Some people like to plan things out thoroughly whilst others, including myself, like to dive in headfirst, and there's nothing wrong with either approach. The commonality between both types of writer is that regardless, they will have at least a vague idea of where to start from — a scene that they've bullet-pointed prior, a lyric that resonated with them, a mental image, an emotion or even just a single word that everything branches from. What all these details achieve is writing that has motion, because you have something of substance to piggyback you to an end point (the establishment of which is also important, but I will not be covering in this post).
3. Decide a structure
Again, this can be done both comprehensively or as simply as just having the thought to adhere to a certain method. As you gain more experience as a writer, you'll begin to understand what works best for you and create a system of your own, but starting out, there are a number of templates that have already been established by writers that you can follow, and find by researching. What matters most is that by using one — whichever it may be — you're turning your text into a story.
As an example, I'll detail two that I use regularly, in their simplest forms for the sake of brevity:
A linear narrative moves from point A to point B, and from point B to point C, etc. and all subsequent points build on the previous ones until your goal is reached. It's a system that works well for shorter pieces because it has a definite structure, like a length of spine and its individual vertebrae (and although we're talking about writing here, I think Newton's Third Law of Motion sums it up very well: every action has a reaction.)
A coalescing narrative considers all points as separate elements that may or may not always interact, but all contribute to the end point to different extremes. It's a useful template for creating depth in a piece, but due to its complexity, is better applied to longer projects.
They are visualised respectively below.


4. Iterate
If you think of your first draft as a block of clay, everything you do to it will equate to it being moulded and shaped, and if you think of your first draft as a skeleton, everything you do to it will equate to flesh being put on the bones. If you want your piece to be the best it can be, there's a sort of detachment you must have from it, where you won't have the fear of changing it until it is in the image of what you have intended. Write and rewrite, add things, take them away, make a separate copy for every edit if that makes it easier for you, but keep working it until you are happy.
Iteration doesn't just apply to drafts — chapters, paragraphs, sentences and even singular words can be given the same treatment. When you pick up the habit, the process becomes second-nature and you'll find that the first lines you put down are the ones that make it into the final piece, and that is in light of sorting through the renditions unconsciously. Additionally, you don't have to do things in one sitting; sometimes taking a break and coming back to your writing with a fresh outlook is valuable.
5. Analyse and apply
One piece of advice I always see given when someone asks how to improve their writing is to read more, and though it is — at its core — a tip worth acknowledging, it always comes across as unserviceable to me. There is nothing that reading will change for you if you are not actively practicing the things you learn, or even actively learning to begin with. So to address it as a matter of semantics, I feel it's best put as studying the writing of others, as opposed to reading.
If you have a favourite author, go over their works twice — once as a reader to identify what you like about them, and then again as a writer to identify why you like those things. To put it into context, if I read something and decided that I enjoyed how clear and easy to understand it was, I'd do a second pass to figure out the attributing qualities. Perhaps it's the use of punctuation, chosen sentence forms or even the simplicity of words used. My first tip of knowing different literary fundamentals is complementary here, because it makes the analysis and application of isolated features that much more smooth, and also means you'd be able to adapt them into your own style instead of just copying the other writer, which is what you want to avoid.
(Some writers I personally recommend studying are @ozzgin, @monstersholygrail, @aayakashii and @urprettylildoe for readability and clarity in execution, @moyazaika, @carnivorousyandeere and @purerae for characterisation and dialogue, @suiana and @unhappy-last-resort for engaging plots and concepts, and @sabotsen and @lirational for word choice.)
#lovenotesfromdar#one more informal piece of advice bc i focused a lot on the technicalities here but it's also super important to be kind to yourself!!#just the other day i was editing the doc w/ sun's story in it so my friend could beta read and i spent a lot of time#beating myself up about the quality of writing not being consistent across some of the chapters and i got over myself eventually but i thin#k it's so easy for writers to fall into the mindset that they are the sum of all their works and if you fall short on one or it isn't up to#par with your standard you can get angry and frustrated w/ yourself and stuff#but truth be told; you're not always going to be at your best bc things happen#you're gonna have bad days and days where you're super tired or things have been shitty#days where you're stressed out or feeling emotional#and days where you wanna quit#and you'll write on those days and the outputs aren't going to be mirrors of your works on your best days bc at the end of the day we are#only human and things impact us and though you might be the same person holding the pen each time what you're able to create will obviously#change w/ the amount of boulders on your back as a figure of speech#so also be patient w/ yourself is my last tip#okay that's it i will legally change my name to waffletron3000 now this was not meant to get this long lmao i have two assignments due#also sorry to everyone i tagged at the end😭
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i luved ur burning cheese fic on ao3 especially bc no one posts ab them..im somewhat inspired to post my own burning cheese content
Which one? I've written a bunch of them haha. Whichever one it is, thank you! It always makes my day when people come tell me they enjoy my work ❤️
And I understand your pain... Not enough BurningCheese content of any kind, at least on the Western side. Asian side of the fandom is filled to bursting with fanart and stuff. I think the problem is that most people on our side of the fence are terrified to ship it publicly because there's a risk of harassment and ostracization from the others, because boo hoo toxic boo hoo abuser x abused (and then they'll turn around and ship Hollyt4ya and ShadowSp1ce like the cowardly hypocrites they are lol). I'm tempted to assume most of my asks are anonymous for that reason. It's a shame, really. It's all a shame. Shame that BurningCheese doesn't get the love and attention it deserves and shame that anyone who tries to give it is burned at the stake for it
But I really do encourage you to post content! Pretty please! The world always needs more BurningCheese stuff. I'm only one person, I can't do it all alone haha
#(if the fic you're referencing is... that one. I'm super sorry chapter 3 is so late. I'm working on it currently and hoping to post it soon)#(I didn't abandon it I promise! I've just been too busy to sit down and write anything properly. I never want to leave works unfinished)#it's weird. sometimes i lament that BurningCheese isn't as popular as ShadowVanilla#and then I remember what was done to ShadowVanilla by new fans and think BurningCheese remaining niche is probably for the best#if there was a way to give BurningCheese that popularity while also removing the flanderized slop then that would be great#otherwise I think we'll all just have to put that monkey's paw down and walk away. painful as it is#oh well... I'll always be here. I'll always ship them. no one can ever take them from me#and I've got plenty of stories left to tell so you'll all have to deal with me for a while still haha#cookie run kingdom#burningcheese#goldenspice#merchant asks
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yknow the adult version of Telly reminds me- wonder what they'd be like when they're a teen? Going through any silly phases?
(rubs my evil devilish hands together) oh boy, I got that all planned out too, I can imagine anything.
I've mentioned before that Telly goes on to become a movie director as an adult, but I skipped over the whole shit storm they went through to get there. Telly's always been interested in film because of their dad and always wanted to grow up to be just like him, however Mr Puzzles SUCKS at accepting that people don't always want to work for him or that they need his help.
Because Telly is his kid, he basically thinks that Telly getting into film is just to help him with his projects, and he would likely employ Telly once they become an adult. The idea that Telly may want to go on and make their own films doesn't really occurred to him. It's not out of malicious intentions or anything, if anything its the opposite, he genuinely thinks he's helping them out and setting them up to work with him when they're older so that they never have to worry about their future.
Telly doesn't want that though, they want to be able to make their own movies by themselves, but because they can't communicate well, nor do they want to hurt their dads feelings (he's already overly emotional), they don't say anything about it and just let it build and build into resentment.
In short:
Don't worry it does get sorted and Telly gets to make their own stuff by themselves in the end (it actually ends up being better than Mr Puzzles stuff), it is basically just a phase they don't hate each other at all, just you know, growing up ain't easy for anyone involved lol.
As for actual phases? Uhhhh
Well no ponies perfect.
#mangos mystery ask box#smg4oc: telly#This took me so long to get to because I was rotating Telly around in my brain so much I can write so much more about this#Mr puzzles isn't a bad dad he just thinks he's always right and knows whats best and can't accept that his kid is growing up lol
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His back against the earth, cushioned by grass, oh how much Arthur longed for stars above to reach out and ask,
"What do you yearn for?"
He envisions their silent presence, with all burdens they store.
Perhaps they have a haven where his secrets sleep, only to be awoken when the yearning's deep.
But with no stars to ask, his heart remained back, tucked away in the confines of inked pages, bound by leather and secrecy.
𑁦𐂂𑁦
#ta da#brain soup poetry#sort of#something really reaches to me with the fact that arthur isn't strictly religious in any one way but he believes in nature and higher powers#he spends majority of his life outside in forests or plains anywhere#and he always seems to have the best view of the stars#when you find the meteorite site in the forest he writes that it “came from the heavens”#arthur to me is a cosmos in his own#a milky way of brilliant stars#that's the best way I can describe the depth to his character#ahh#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#arthur morgan#mick thinks
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going through some old left-for-dead projects and just found this one where I was like. INTENT on dissecting jeff's brain on the operating table (i.e. google docs) but only from todd's weird skewed pov
[professor voice] it's about brothers as eternal combatants and it's about being so convinced of your own goodness you excuse your shitty actions. it's also about comparing yourself to a dog because you feel less fully formed than your brother. lol.
#“so-and-so is an irredeemable character with no depth” jokes are funny sure but unfortunately i'm unable to not take things seriously#anyway: i remember people being like [about hymnal] this is crazy! this fraternal dynamic is so fucked up! and being kind of non-plussed#because the dynamic i wrote into the fair folk wip [this one] was like fifty thousand times more. argh. bites#THIS WASN'T EVEN SCRATCHING THE SURFACE#also i've always been an advocate of writing cruel characters with sympathy because the best feeling as a reader is when#you're reading and start nodding along with a particular guy and have to take a step back and recoil at how receptive you were to them#when the character is kind and jolly and cares but he's still letting the abuse happen under his nose :eyes:#anyway this ALSO isn't an accurate jeff portrait because todd's pov is weird and jaded and sardonic at the beginning of the story#and also he's like three seconds away from exploding. lol#hm. i never explained it to myself fully [probably why i never finished this] but i think the issue was that#todd is Too understanding and he's perceptive enough to see everyone's motivations but that makes it worse because now he's too#not forgiving. but he can excuse people's actions very easily#and thus when people actually do shitty things and it makes him mad he can't really justify being mad to himself - but he still is#and this makes him sooooo volatile. and becomes a problem later on in the wip when he's trying to work on cameron#because understanding isn't the ending point you have to do the action sometimes! lol!#goddamn. i miss writing this au.#dead poets society#tristan writes#dps#dps fic#todd anderson#jeff anderson#SORRY THIS IS VERY LONG. I JUST REDISCOVERED THIS AND IT BROUGHT A LOT OF MEMORIES BACK.
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Narnia, grief
Grief was a strange thing, Erah discovered.
For weeks after the Four vanished, carried as he was by the power and hope of his dream, he felt no pain, no sense of loss; indeed, he was the one to whom many turned for comfort—he, the unicorn who could not speak!
Yet the day the first snow fell, he found himself starting at every whisper and footfall, always listening, always searching his surroundings, but for what?
For the call of his name, of course, for the ring of familiar love and joy; for the flash of golden hair, and crimson cloak, and laughing bearded face; but more, for the brightness of spirit, the gentleness of hand, the warmth of the blue eyes that saw and the great heart that spoke like none other ever had, save Aslan himself.
He wanted Peter...
but the sun set into the quiet hills, and Peter did not come.
#legit crying over this#yes that is one sentence. the second part ISN'T CAPITALIZED#oh erah#oh my dear sweet brave devoted unicorn#'be always ready for the coming of your king'#but he doesn’t want his king then he wants his best friend he just wants peter and their gallop in the snow with ed and philip#i love him so much#😭😭😭#erah the unicorn#peter pevensie#narnia#my writing#five sentence fics#asked and answered
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thinking about "murder is okay" still. more than anything i think a lot of people just say shit in meta bc it sounds evocative and vaguely gestures at an actual point
#i dislike the 'some people are not smart enough to review/critique/write' posts bc they're always phrased to invoke ontological capability#only for op to scramble and make it clear thats not what they meant at all guys when they obviously get pushback.#thus establishing them as one of the people who probably isn't smart enough for this.#but like it is true that some people are probably not thinking about it hard enough to write something interesting or revealing#or representative of some sort of broader understanding of the work and its themes and intentions#and are instead letting themselves be captured by whatever pitfalls in logical or moral consistency feels the best#many such cases! we are very good at this as people#crposting
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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Blorbo phone charm and phone strap... (I was not immune to impulse purchasing them lol)


Gundham and Sonia :3



Him ♥

Hilariously enough, when I tried to test out the dust plug connected to the strap it broke off inside my old phone's headphone jack.
THANKFULLY I was able to get it out with a needle, but...there was carnage lol.

(I tried to use hot glue to get any remaining bits out, but it wouldn't go deep enough into the port to clear it out. Miraculously earbuds still work fine in it?)
Also, this is another strap I had to buy as a set.

I'm selling the Kazuichi one as soon as I get the chance lol. Not a big fan of him (sorry to all his fans).

^What my phone would look like if I wasn't a coward about sharing some of my interests. (That is my normal phone background though.)
#my stuff#Danganronpa#Super Danganronpa 2#SDR2#Gundham Tanaka#one set of phone charms I bought as a set because it was cheaper that way than getting the one I wanted seperately#In this case? Couldn't find it on its own.#Kinda similar case with the charms here. I didn't necessarily want the Sonia one but I don't mind keeping it. I like her :3#Also the strap seller had left a handwritten note that if I translated at least somewhat correctly was an apology for an odor on the items?#I didn't notice one but I wasn't really huffing them either lol#I had to use Google Translate and the writing function isn't always the best some some of the kanji was probably wrong#there were at least two I was unsure of if they matched or not
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I doodled some concept designs for a little something I have cooking [If you read the tags of one of my posts where I go unhinged in the tags you got a decent idea of what I'm talking about] it'll be revealed what it exactly is once we hit 400 of you lovely lovely folks! We're currently at like, 375 if memory serves me right so hopefully around December or November we'll hit it
I really really like how the queen of hearts and the white rabbit designs came out they're so pretty, the Queen of hearts looks like a doll WHICH FITS FOR WHAT I HAVE PLANNED FOR HER!
The Cheshire cat looks like he'd call everyone slurs, and the mad hatter, well he isn't doing too well health wise but what artist hasn't sacrificed their health for their craft?
#radiorambles#also found out whole doodling that my art tablet isn't charging I will actually sob if it breaks I'VE ONLY HAD IT SINCE LIKE#the CHRISTMAS OF 2021 LIKE THAT WAS A PRESENT AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT????#I can always draw the good ol' fashion way but I cannot explain the hazbin characters i doodle if my parents ever decide they want to#show off my artwork like “Hey show so&so your sketchbook!” or just pick up the sketchbook while I'm zoned out doing something#they're not invading any boundaries because I do like to show off some of the artwork I'm proud of [Different story with my writing I DO NOT#want my mom correcting my grammar on my fanfiction I TRY MY BEST]
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if this is what awaits me on a daily basis then I don't think I want to be alive anymore
#my mind keeps going. I'm truly losing it#if I am seriously beginning to lose the ability to string a sentence together I'm just. nothing#I can cope with not having a grip on reality. I can cope with having a head full of voices and sounds that are not there#and seeing shadows and spiders and flashes of light that aren't there and imagining some horrific things happening to my body#I might not do the best job at coping with it. but it's what I have to live with. or not live with considering how often I get momentarily#convinced that I'm no longer alive anyway.#just losing the ability to string a sentence together. it's not so much the stammer because I've always had one it's just far worse#but it's the. forgetting words. inserting words that aren't related. getting sidetracked and going off along a similar word that isn't#what I intended to say and I just start talking nonsense#it's textbook!#I could possibly cope with not being able to speak but writing is one of the few things I have. it's one of the few things I've been allowe#to keep. if I lose that I'll have so little left that it's not worth it
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