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Wishing you all a merry Christmas & gay holidays!! 🎄👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

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If you’re pining you need to stop and pick a different tree. You know, spruce it up a little

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*writes a sentence or two after writing nothing for days*

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This is me. Kinda jealous of all the writers who can write quickly because I can't.

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in heaven

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[Insert Title About Religious Trauma]

god its hard not to relate to cas

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destiel is a story of need and want and not understanding that they can be two different words to express the exact same feeling

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destiel in a nutshell

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save a horse, ride a cowboy

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Part 2 of "Promises Kept" (Title in workshop)

It's only been a little over a few month since Castiel has returned to Lawrence, and Dean hasn't once ceased his proclamation of affections. What has ceased, is Castiel's reluctance to react. It was difficult not to when a handsome man like Dean takes a minute every day just to greet you with an endearment and a smile

At one point, Castiel had to stop trying to ignore the affection that swells in his chest. At one point, Castiel can't hide the smile that twitches from his lips. At one point, Castiel just has to look over and greet Dean back

And when he does, he's brought back in time, all those years ago, when Dean would greet him with a different nickname

When the days felt longer, when the sun shined brighter, when the grass looked greener

When Castiel was still wearing hand-me-down clothes, stitched together with scraps. When his body was still thin and lanky and small and often hungry. When all he had that was truly his was a satchel, some books, and Dean's fondness for a boy like him

As Castiel waves towards Dean from beyond the fence of Singer's Ranch, he lets his himself take in the view of Dean Winchester

The boy- No, the man who steals his breath away every day

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This is just a sketch but I liked the idea even though it is not my usual style

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I think it would've been funny if Mary was on a solo hunt and met Claire, with her curly blonde hair and big blue eyes and tough attitude and wearing a shirt she stole from dean that dean stole from john, and Mary's like 'oh. interesting. I'm a grandmother. nightmare scenario.' and this is post the bmol reveal so Dean is fully not talking to her and she thinks he didn't tell her he has a daughter because he didn't trust her so she decides to get in Claire's good graces. 1) because her granddaughter seems to have the impulse control of an irritated bull and she definitely shouldn't be hunting alone and 2) she gave Claire a fake last name so she wouldn't figure out their relation so by the time Dean figures out they've met Claire can help sweeten him up so Mary can fix things with him. Claire meanwhile is annoyed that this random woman keeps following her around but she's already resigned to the fact she attracts parental figures like a magnet.

so they're a VERY chaotic hunting team for awhile. Mary also keeps trying to needle out details about Claire's life- she figures she might blow her cover if she asks too much about her father, so she asks a lot about Claire's mother but she's very cagey about the topic. then one day Claire let's Mary use her phone for something and she notices the background is a pic of her and Cas and Claire doesn't wanna get into the whole angel thing with this woman who won't get out of her car so she's like 'oh yeah that's my dad'. and Mary's IMMEDIATELY just like oh God oh fuck I almost got my son in law killed no wonder Dean hates me. she's fully spiralling about her kids not trusting her so much they're hiding an entire family from her. even BEFORE they knew about the brits Dean didn't tell her?? she spends all night on google taking like those dumb 'am I homophobic??' quizzes to see if she said or did anything to make him uncomfortable and she literally goes to a library and prints out articles about how to support your gay child. turns into one of those hardcore gay rights moms over night. Claire just thinks Mary's doing this because she's figured out Claire's a lesbian and she finds it sweet.

Dean eventually starts responding to Mary's texts again and Mary just wants to tell Dean she knows everything so they can Properly make up and move forward but all the parenting books she's been reading insist that she needs to let him come to her with this. she starts dropping hints though, like 'oh I'm working with this hunter named Claire', thinking he'll take the bait and tell her he's Claire's father but he's just like 'tell that criminal she has 32 hours to return my ivory grip gun or else I'm actually filing a police report against her' and Mary's not in any place to critique parenting styles but she's like 😬 and tells Claire who's like 'tell him they'll never take me alive' and Mary ends up in the middle of dumb banter between these two while Claire's driving but neither of them will admit they're father and daughter and it's driving her INSANE. she just wants to be trusted!!

skdhdj Claire has a p.o. box and one day they stopped by and there was a head of a stuffed unicorn in there as a godfather parody, and Claire calls Dean like 'THAT WAS ALEX'S!!' and Mary hears him cursing over the other line and after they hang up she asks who Alex is and Claire's like 'oh my sister' and Mary's like. YOUR WHAT.

then all the shit with the brainwashing and apocalypse world goes down and by the time she's back in the bunker she's SO over waiting she just wants as normal a family dynamic as she can possibly get so she makes a big show of like getting Dean alone and she has a whole apology speech AND a gay rights speech that she had kids from a local lgbt community group proof read and edit for her. and Dean king of the closet is like thanks! but what the Fuck. and people are fully walking into the library now Sam has popcorn and Mary's like listen sweetheart I know I haven't given you a lot of reasons to trust me but at the very least you could have mentioned I'm a grandmother, I mean the resemblance is uncanny- and Dean's like 'shit you met Ben? is he okay?' and she's like. WHO?? WHAT? HOW MANY CHILDREN ARE YOU HIDING. And he's like well Emma's dead ('WHAT') so who else could you POSSIBLY be talking about?? And Mary's like 'Claire!! obviously Claire!!' and Claire, who's on the other side of the room yells 'EW?!' in a put on offended tone and Dean's like 'no she's Cas' brat?!' and Mary's like. 'well she's not a nephilim like Jack! I know you and Cas are together Dean-' and Dean and Cas are like. um. what drew you to that conclusion. pay no attention to the fact we're blushing and now refusing to make eye contact with each other we Swear we are only simply platonic friends we are NOT in a romantic relationship. and then Jack and Claire are both like 'WHAT YOU AREN'T?!?!' and the night is lost to many many confusing confrontations. this post got away from me.

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Noble Man Castiel Novak and the scrappy farm hand in town, Dean Winchester Slow burn romance where they meet when they were young. the Winchesters owned large amounts of land and prospered while the Novak's had very little and worked small jobs in town Dean promises Castiel that when they grow older, Dean would own the land he has and would spoil Castiel. That he would build Cas a mansion and make sure he never grows hungry. That he would use the money to help other people too, with Castiel by his side managing the numbers Dean could never get the hang of Castiel promising that he'd do anything to make Dean's dream come true. To help his best friend and always be by his side. That he'd put Dean's needs above his own if it meant Dean would prosper Neither of them anticipated the Winchester Property to burn down through a freak fire accident Neither of them could predict the Novak's striking gold, marrying rich, and becoming Noble Men through Castiel's father's connections Dean had to pick up the pieces of his life at a young age. Grieving his mother, taking care of his baby brother, and helping his father work the field to salvage what they could Castiel was forced to move to a different city to further his education. His father forcing his children into a higher education, in hopes to continue upholding their new Noble position, afraid to go back to the life they used to live And as years went on and the two grew apart, fate brings them together again Dean having built his life back slowly, his father selling most of the land and taking odd jobs out of the town. Dean having to be a father to his baby brother, working Bobby Singer's farm and ranch to scrape by Castiel having gardened praise and attention for his higher education. His studies and work on scriptures and translations have given him enough freedom to travel away from home, back to Lawrence Back to Dean, to fulfill his promise to give the man his dreams He didn't expect Dean to uphold his promise too --------- Eeehhh rough idea. Lemme know whatcha think

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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Me: *writes an amazing chapter*

Me: Ah yes. That is amazing. Can't wait to begin the next one. So many possibilities!

Me: *turns off my laptop and goes into a month-long depression*

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“I need you”

“I love you”

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Dean

It takes Dean a long time to realize that it was gone. Partially because it was a new addition and partially because he was used to the old weight and heft of Baby’s keys. But all the sudden it hit him on a random Thursday afternoon as he, Sam, and Cas piled back Baby after stopping for gas on their way to investigate a case.

He blinks a few times at the set of keys in his hand trying to figure out what is different before he realizes that the silver mustache engraved with the words I'm your huckleberry is nowhere on the keyring. He's not sure how he could have lost it because there isn't even a dangling keyring or chain to indicate that it had been ripped off.

He pats his pockets first, not really holding any hope that it had magically fallen off on its own but needing to check anyway, before fully exiting the car. Ignoring the questions from his brother and the curious gaze of the angel in the backseat, he searches the floor and all the other crevices where lost items usually ended up collecting in Baby.

No luck. The keychain was simply gone.

He's more dejected than he should be at the realization that it's gone for good. After all, he can't remember the last time he'd seen it after adding it to Baby's keys several weeks ago, so he has no way of knowing when or where he'd actually lost the Tombstone memento.

Dean knows he could always buy another one, but it wouldn't quite be the same. It wouldn't be the one he'd gotten because he'd nearly combusted when Cas had quoted the Doc Holliday line to him in a cowboy hat, wouldn't be the same one he'd bought out of sheer giddiness at getting Cas back.

"Earth to Dean? Hello? Possible shtriga killing off kids?" Sam calls, hand on the door to get out and probably shake Dean if he doesn't respond soon.

"Shit, sorry. I just, uh, realized I lost something," Dean mumbles, sliding back into the driver's seat, quickly starting Baby, and pulling out onto the highway.

"Dude, please tell me you didn't lose your gun again!" Sam teases.

"First off, I didn't lose it, Bella stole it from me, and second, no I did not lose my gun," Dean scoffs back.

"Okay, so what did you lose?"

"... nothing."

"Oh, nothing?" Sam pitches his voice low and gruff in a bad imitation of his brother, "Mr. five-minute-break-tops-otherwise-you're-getting-left-behind got out of the car and did a deep sweep of the seats for 'nothing?'"

Dean remains silent but Sam keeps pestering, even going so far as to start guessing what Dean could lost.

"Pocket knife? Clip of silver bullets? MapQuest directions? One of the burner phones?" Sam lists normal things before moving on to ludicrous ones as Dean refuses to budge. "Pie coupon? Your Swiftie friendship bracelet? Lucky condom?"

Cas

"Lucky condom? Really, Sam?"

"Could be? Oh! Your favorite issue of-"

"A keychain, goddamit! I lost a keychain," Dean growls knuckles gripping the steering wheel tighter as he finally answers his brother's nagging.

Cas' hand instinctively goes into the pocket of his trench coat, fingers wrapping around the smooth metallic surface hidden in there.

Sam gapes at his brother open-mouthed for several seconds.

"All that fuss for a keychain? What? Was it made of gold?"

"No, it was just ... I got it when we had that case in Dodge City. It was, I don't know, sentimental? You know what? It doesn't matter. It was just a dumb keychain."

Dean says the words with a smile and a laugh, but Cas can tell from Sam's frown that he doesn't believe the older Winchester either.

"No, if it was important to you, I can keep an eye out for it. What did it look like? A cowboy hat or something?"

Cas' brow furrows in confusion as Dean adjusts his grip and pinkness begins to suffuse his neck and ears.

"Seriously, Sam. It's okay, I just had a moment when I realized I lost it. All good. Really no need to worry about it."

I should tell him, should give it back. I didn't think he really cared about it that much since he didn't notice it was gone, but he's acting oddly about it with Sam, Cas thinks as his fingers trace the curving edges and smooth over the indents of the engraving. Guilt begins to claw at his insides, especially as Dean slumps after a few moments when Sam is no longer scrutinizing him.

He hadn't meant to steal it. Or rather he'd meant to return it much sooner after he'd seen it on Dean's keys. He'd only really wanted to look at it more closely but Dean had come back and for some reason he'd shoved the small keychain into his pocket where it had lived ever since. He'd grown attached to the feel and weight and reassurance of it, though he wasn't exactly sure why the innocuous item should provide him any comfort.

That's not entirely true, I suppose I associate it with good memories. The case in Dodge City was ... enjoyable. I got to spend a lot of time with Dean and he bought me a cowboy hat. He was so excited and happy and ... and he said he was glad to have me back, that I was 'a big win.'

Cas knows that he shouldn't have been eavesdropping on the brothers' conversation, but it had been hard not to in the hotel room. And the spark of warmth and pride that bloomed in his chest from hearing that he, or rather his return, had been the cause for Dean's happiness hadn't faded. In fact, it had only gotten stronger, hence his attachment to the pilfered keychain.

He still wasn't sure why Dean had gotten it, and his confusion had only increased with the recent exchange between Sam and Dean. Because Cas knew that Dean hadn't gotten the Tombstone themed keychain in Dodge City. Which meant that he had gone out of his way to look for and purchase the small novelty, but Cas couldn't figure out why, which is the reason he'd held on to it for so long and not replaced it like he'd intended. Or at least, that was how he rationalized keeping the otherwise meaningless trinket.

It means something to Dean and I want to know what. I want to know why he looked so sad when he couldn't find it, Cas muses as the conversation dies in the car. Dean turns up the music but even the blaring rock is not enough to drown out Cas' next thought.

I want to know how to make Dean care about me as much.

---

He waits for the right moment to return the keychain to Dean or to tell him that he borrowed it for a while, to explain his actions, but no time seems to be right.

So, Cas decides that he'll simply put the keychain back onto Dean's keyring when they all head back to the motel to crash before beginning the return trip back to Lebanon.

He sits in the dark until he's sure Dean and Sam are truly asleep, sprawled on their respective beds. Sam, put together as always, is comfortably tucked under the blankets while Dean is haphazardly passed out, still dressed and with his boots on, snoring none to softly.

Cas takes just a moment to stare down at him fondly, dares to let his fingertips brush through the sleep ruffled hair before he makes his way to where the Impala's keys are tossed onto a coffee table.

He pulls out the keychain from his pocket and gives it one last appreciative caress before he begins trying to reattach it to the keyring.

"Cas?" Dean's slurred voice calls out, startling him into dropping the keys and keychain into a clattering mess on the floor.

"Cas, what are you-? Are you okay?" Dean tumbles off of the bed and makes it to his side where Cas is fumbling to try and hide the evidence of his reverse burglary.

"I'm fine, Dean. I'm sorry for waking you, I, um, bumped the keys off the table," Cas explains to the ground.

"Uh, what," Dean clears his throat and Cas clenches his eyes as Dean's hand closes around the mustache glinting in the low light. "Where did-? Cas, you found it?"

Cas has to tell him, can't bear the thought of Dean misinterpreting his actions as chivalrous, can't bear the joy and warmth bleeding out of his eyes and smile.

"I ... stole it from you. I had intended to return it, but I grew attached to it and so, when you didn't miss it, I kept it. I didn't know that it was that important to you until I saw your reaction the other day when you realized it was gone. And then I couldn't find the right way or right time to tell you and well, I'm sorry, Dean. It was wrong of me."

Dean

Dean's brain takes far too long to comprehend what Cas is telling him and why the angel looks so damn stricken with sadness and guilt. But once the words and their meanings finally penetrate his thick skull the only reaction he has is to laugh.

"Dean? This is not humorous. I stole from you; you should be upset," Cas hisses at him, sparing a glance to where Sam still sleeps soundly.

"Cas, man. How could I be upset with you over that? It's actually really cute. If I'd known you liked it that much, I would have given it to you and gotten myself another one."

"That makes no sense. You were clearly distraught about its absence earlier," Cas mutters, for some reason intent on making an issue of this.

"Okay, well, I probably would be upset if it was anyone else, but, shit, Cas I got it because it reminded me of you. So that's why it's kind of funny that you saw it and wanted to keep it. I guess it was just meant for you," Dean explains, trying not to devolve into laughter again when Cas tilts his head in confusion. "I, uh, ordered it after Dodge City, the gunslinger ghoul, remember? And um well, we were sitting in the car and I told you to act like the people in Tombstone and you thought I meant the city but I said, no the movie and then you, uh, you did a really deep voice and said Doc Holliday's huckleberry line and you'd just come back from the dead and I don't know. I wanted to commemorate it somehow? I mean, despite having to crawl through a nasty tunnel, it was kind of an awesome case. I mean we got to stay at that sweet hotel and you were there and cowboys and we got to wear cowboy hats and... and..." Dean tapers off his ramble with a wince as he realizes just how lovesick he sounds. "Anyway, you can have it. In fact, I want you to have it if it makes you happy."

Dean presses the keychain into Cas' palm, manually wrapping the angel's fingers around it when he doesn't move. Dean lets his own hand linger, bolder in the darkened room.

"I, it does, Dean. Thank you."

Dean looks up at Cas' thick whispered words, startled to find emotion welling in the other man's eyes.

"It, the reason that I liked in in the first place was because it reminded me of that case as well, of how happy you were with your cowboys."

"Hey, you're my cowboy too, my huckleberry, remember," Dean blurts, a little giddy with the way the moonlight filters into Cas' blue eyes and highlights his scruff laden jaw. A little drunk off the fact that Cas has let him continue his quasi-handholding

"Yes, Dean," Cas lets out a huff of laughter before staring straight into Dean's eyes, "I'm your huckleberry."

Perhaps it's the way Cas breathes the words like an oath, or the residual adrenaline in his system, or the moonlight pooling around them and glinting off the damned keychain peeking out of their tangled fingers, or maybe it's a combination of all those things that compels Dean to slip his hand from Cas' to reach behind the angel's head and wrap his fingers in the soft dark strands and pull surprised lips to his own.

Cas doesn't move right away, stiff and still against Dean searching kiss.

He pulls back, afraid he's just made the greatest mistake of his life, but then Cas is surging forward back into him.

Dean can't help but laugh into the kiss when he feels a cool length of metal swing into his neck where Cas' hands have attached themselves. Then he's not laughing at all because Cas takes advantage of Dean's open mouth to deepen the kiss.

Random SPN Prompt

Dean didn't know how he could have lost it.

Cas didn't know the best time to tell Dean he stole it.