#the way she was talking about how im a good and kind person and im so polite
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🌟 become your dream girl before 2025! 🌟
THIS WILL *ACTUALLY* CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
do you know how many people are waiting until next year to glow up and actually start to become their dream self? now just think, if you started now, before 2025, how far you would be. how much more skills and knowledge you would have. you're literally getting a head start. so what are you doing dilly-dallying until 2025? heres your guide to ending this year accomplishing everything you need to and starting 2025 with everything you need.
in this post i will include mindset shifts, how to become a better person, actionable advice, actually becoming a new person <3
👑know what you want.
who do you want to become at the end of this year? what does your dream girl look like? what kind of body does she have? her clothes? who are the people she hangs out with on a daily basis- friends?
create a very clear version in your head and use pinterest to show photos of what your goals are- for ex: girls at the gym, journalling, writing, studying, reading, learning, walking, with friends, spending time outside, going swimming, playing sports, doing a skill/ hobby.
you can also find an idol/ an inspiration- a youtuber, influencer, parent, anyone who you look up to and want to somewhat have a similar life like them. (for ex: thewizardliz, tam kaur) whatever is important to you this goes hand in hand with the next point:
👑goals.
any unfinished projects, any goals you said you'd do in the beginning of the year, get them all down on paper. if you've finished any of them, great!- tick them off. but if you haven't then its time to lock in. pick the ones that are most important to you. that you know that achieving these will 100% get you closer to your goal. doing this makes sure you get rid of the ones that you think are "productive" when in reality they just help you procrastinate.
finish any unfinished projects or books you have before the new year begins because 2025 is about bringing in new, fresh opportunities and things. for me personally, i have a few crochet projects that i want to finish before the end of this year so i can start the new year with nothing old from the year before!
👑cutting.
you are going to be becoming a new person- new mindset, new values, new perception on life, etc. the people in your life currently probably won't align with this new version of you. because if the people around you still only know the old you, your growth won't happen because it will feel extremely unnatural without the right people around you. this means you're going to have to decide whether you are letting any of your friends go. if they don't serve you or make you feel happier or bring in any value to your life, im sorry but its time to cut them off.
but of course if you actually have good, kind, loving friends who grow with you and support you all the way, keep them. the goal is to remove the people who don't serve your highest self. not remove the people who you know will be there for you.
but along with this, if you notice that those people are acting a bit more weirdly/ strangely now that you're improving- giving you backhanded compliments, talking about you behind your back, or just giving you a weird vibe in general, trust your gut. those people don't want to see you going to a higher place where you're thriving- keeping them in your life can be terrible for your highest good.
remember that doing this doesn't mean that you're not going to get better because BETTER ALWAYS COMES. god will give you more people who you couldn't have ever dreamed could be so amazing. so never keep toxic people in your life out of fear that you'll be alone forever. (remember: 8 billion people in the world.)
👑mindset.
dont wait to change your mindset only once you achieve the dream body or the best grade- start now. people can take away everything from you but they can't take away your mindset, skills, and knowledge. here are some mindset shifts to develop:
the abundance mindset. know that everything happens for your highest and greatest good only! everything will work out in the end for you because God hasn't put you on this earth to suffer. if you are religeous (God) or spiritual (the universe) or even believe theres a higher faith, why on earth would you willingly believe that your purpose here is to have a bad time? obstacles will come your way and you will make bad decisions and mistakes. but all these jsut contribute to the person you are today and the person who you'll be in the future!
i will make it. believe in your vision and yourself so fiercely that you know in your bones that you will achieve your goals. you will travel the world and discover new places, you will get to retire your parents, you will get to buy expensive bags for your mom, you will be that rich sister/daughter/ wife, you will help people around the whole world, you will have people around you who love and care for you, you will achieve whatever dream you had since you were a kid and whatever dream you have right now. you will you will you will! know this so strongly but also know that i will achieve there one day, but i also am so blessed and grateful for the life i have right now! i have so many privileges and such an amazing life that i would never trade away for anything.
growth mindset if you fail, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. please stop being afraid of failing, be afraid of never trying!! you have no idea how freeing failing is because once you do, then you'll never have that "what if" in the back of your mind, never have that small voice asking what could have happened if you had done that thing. so if you do fail, perfect! that means that you won't waste any more time wondering what would have happened. having a growth mindset means that you know you're human and you'll make mistakes, but that doesnt make you a bad person and it doesn't take away your capability to still accomplish your goals. if you fail be able to brush it off, and keep trying again and again. Thomas Edison had 1000 failed attempts to make the light bulb. yet he learnt from what didn't work, took that into consideration, then tried again. and again. and again. and now? your probably sitting in a room with light that you have because he persisted in his goal!
stay positive always have a positive outlook and perspective of life. look at the beauty and what you have instead of what you lack. feel happy joyful energy vibrate through you everyday. do things that just make you a more positive person in general! feeling happier makes you look 100x more attractive and will change the way you interact with the world!!
👑be a better person.
new year new you right? so its time you up level the way you talk and treat others. because the goal isn't to be A b*tch, the goal is to be THAT b*tch! so going around being rude isn't going to do anything for you. being kind however- having manners, checking up on people, asking how their day was, being charismatic, etc- thats what can get you so much more opportunities! you're going to be kind, but not a people pleaser- ofc prioritise yourself always but also at the same time- if you have made a commitment to be somewhere for someone at a certain time, honor that commitment. be the friend you wish you had.
being mean to everyone just because you were hurt by someone else is not it. yes, so you were hurt. grow, evolve, heal. you're stronger than this. you're stronger than you think. you can overcome anything and you can become an even better person, capable of loving fully and wholly!
misc tips:
change what you consume. start watching thewizardliz, tam kaur on youtube. have an inspiration/ idol to look up to in life.
workout. i dont care if its not one of your goals to have a fit body, but don't workout for that. workout because you love yourself. because its actually proven to make you happier, because you deserve a healthy, fully functioning body.
DRINK WATER. do you know how many benefits something as simple as that has? clear skin, unchapped lips, better digestive health, weight management, better health, feel more alert and energized, better for immune system, increases brain power, eliminate toxins, ETC ETC!
have a morning routine that literally sets yourself up for success. stimulate your mind with reading self help, learn something, study, focus on a skill, do something that makes your mind active.
journal & check in with yourself.- document your progress! write about how you felt after everyday. did you feel esp happy during anything? do you feel satisfied at the end of the day? or do you find that your day made you feel tired and drained? do you feel regret and wished you did more at the end of the day?
diary- links with the earlier point. document the day. you can write about it, or what i also like to do is video myself yapping to the camera. talk about whatever you want and let your mind wander free!
you are that it girl! dress the part, smell good, make yourself feel so good that you just can't help but feel like you can conqure anything!!
make sure you're consistently reminded of your goals. what do you want? why do you want to achieve it? reminding yourself of your goals will actually motivate you and make you stop procrastinating. for me its that i don't want any old projects or books having to continue into the new year so i've made a plan that will definitely get it done before the next year!
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#it girl#it girl energy#girlboss#self love#becoming that girl#self improvement#girlblog#self development#girlblogging#glow up#2025#getting ready#new year reset#goals#achieving goals#achieving dreams#dreams#goals and dreams#productivity#thewizardliz#glowing up#glow up tips#self improvement tips
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hello! Im just wondering if there’s any side effects Etho has because of staying in the cave in trails gone cold au or did it just change his hair.
good question! probably? this hasn't really been discussed or thought through, so don't treat it as 100% true, just me thinking out loud.
❄️ talking visual changes, his hair and eyes changed color permanently, his skin is now paler, even if the effects lessened when he was out of the cave, nothing is fully reversible. i dont imagine there's a way to get rid of the sculk that is in his body already, because it's like- everywhere. in his blood, in his lungs, in his brain, in his bones. it's dormant and doesn't do him any harm, and maybe in 10 or 20 years his body will slowly get rid of it, but its an if not a when.
❄️ in terms of other changes... i imagine he's constantly freezing now, nothing ever helping to warm him up. his nervous system is messed up beyond repair, so he could probably shove his hand into fire and get burned and still be freezing.
❄️ he probably also always feels slightly feverish and weak? you know how when you're ill and you stand up to do something but standing up takes all your energy and you're too tired now? that kind of thing. he's just tired all the time.
and then there's also all the indirect changes?
❄️ he lost an eye. goodbye depth perception, and layered with his other changes he's probably very clumsy now.
❄️ i imagine his hands tremble more often than not, both because of the freezing and because of his strained psyche.
❄️ dude is like. traumatized. very badly. he decided to leave one of his closest friends to die so he himself could escape. his other closest friend was a better person than him but died because of it. he never said goodbye to any of them, he can never apologize. they're gone forever, and they're still down there. etho survived but at what cost and was it actually worth it?
❄️ i don't know if he feels any sort of calling from the cave, but maybe? maybe it's the sort of thing where he can't tell if it's his own thoughts or not, because it could be a cave trying to get him back or it could be his own wish to return in attempt to "fix it".
i also wanna say, poor gem. she has to take care of this guy now and im so sorry to her. it's gonna be a very long time until he even starts healing, and it's gonna be a very difficult time. there's like, so much to say about gem too, because she also lost two of her best friends and she wasn't even there to witness it, all she gets is her traumatized brother...
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extremely funny coming from writers whose characters return and play major roles in more than one game. yeah sorry guys we couldnt do anything interesting with the game because we had to protect our fans from the conflict we would write if we did <3
#veilguard spoilers /#these arent my screenshots btw im old and dont know how to use bluesky#weekes REALLY rubs me the wrong way. i dont like their writing enough for them to be acting like this. mary kirby can get away with it#just about because i know she kind of means it but weekes' obsession with being the person that writes drama / twists is kind of juvenile#like we've all had that writing phase lol#likr what is this. you sound like a teenager talking about the supernatural finale#also the alistair comment is kind of not true at all. he can die in dai but his cameo in da2 is a really good example of choices in#the previous game having consequences in the form of a small cutscene? seeing him drunk in the bar the first time#i played da2 and KNOWING it was my fault was so good
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i think chappell roan enforcing her boundaries to creepo parasocial fans is so fucking awesome and based and she should be allowed to do whatever she wants forever
#seriously i never see artists (regardless of what type of art) enforcing these boundaries and making people listen#also ive just become aware people are mad at her for not getting involved in political stuff???#hey i think perhaps people should form their own opinions and not base their life choices on what a celebrity they dont even know says?#its not like celebrities are your trusted royal advisors man go think about it yourself.#i was going to say “if taylor swift told you to vote for a specific person would you listen” but thats a bad example isnt it#i think swifties just do whatever she says man#i think a lot of people really need to perhaps consider looking into what THEY THEMSELVES think of political candidates#and form their OWN opinions through research if theyre not sure on who to vote for#and not just immediately look to a random celebrity or public figure for what to do#has anybody considered like this isnt celebrities' business????#youre not at fucking daycare or highschool its not their responsibility to show you how to use critical thinking or form opinions#these arent your family members. these arent your friends. theyre just people a lot of people know about.#seriously man...i plan on attaining some fame from my projects eventually. its not gonna be my job to do that anymore than any other artist#my job is to draw furries not kiss the fans and tell them what to think. thats not my business.#even if i disagree with someone's views its still not my business my business is drawing furries.#theres a difference between using your platform to talk about issues and literally fucking telling people how to vote.#basing all your life choices on what celebrities think is gonna get you in a deep fuckin hole and do you no good. look at things 4 yourself#Sorry im kind of ranting here. am i sorry actually? no i think this needs to be said and im sayign it#and im not basing that on what popular figures think either! im basing that on what i think! which is what more people should do!#why dont we look at this from the perspective of like...streamers instead. cause people are weird towards streamers too#if i were to go up to a streamer or youtuber and ask them who to vote for#if i went up to fucking markiplier or vinny vinesauce and asked one of them who to vote for you'd all think i was deranged.#celebrities can also be wrong about shit!!! or be shit people!!! this is not me attacking anyone here!!#please consider the fact they are literally just people and theyre not some all seeing omnipotent god figures#you could go and ask nicki minaj who to vote for. or doja cat. you could just as well go and ask your boss who to vote for. or a neighbor!#and either way you dont need to base your life choices based on what that person says!#you still need to think for yourself!#but i think if youre gonna ask someone who to vote for it should be someone you know personally. not a pop star. not a gamer. not an artist#if youre gonna base your opinions on that of other people base it on the opinions of people you trust. people who know you.#people who are really there for you.
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every now and then i experience brief moments of self-awareness telling me to make major changes to the fusionsprunt story
#queue#maybe it has to do with this need of visualizing it as an actual tv show. it's not necessarily a bad thing#it's so much fun to question what would happen if a specific part was rewritten or twisted into smth else. how would it work and all#for example. i've been thinking. what if Hunter was an actual robot? how does his interaction with Exocannis and B2 change bcs of it? :0#i dont think that part will be rewritten but it's an interesting possibility#one thing i wanted to change is Gideon's lore though!#the way he disregards B2 doesn't sit right w me (and ig it didn't with everyone else who read the lore)#also! there's not much info about his childhood. it was nice until BOO TRAUMAAA.#overall i wanted to introduce him some other way. the way Gideon Rigell would do!#perhaps with a little comic? a loose dialogue in an artwork of sorts#comparing him to who he is currently is like going. wow! good job buddy ur getting better! but also you should probably seek therapy...#as for B2. i have some ideas.#some times i enjoy exploring new designs in which she looks VERY non-human or has some sort of non-human mentality#a true alien!#i wanna redesign her siblings and make all of them have an 'x' somewhere in their names#what if Beatrix had 4 siblings? what if she was the 'youngest'? what if they were all created by the same person#a person who was responsible for their creation but who also treated them like their own children#some kind of enthusiastic visionary with a passion for robotics who genuinely cared for machines. even 'mindless' ones#Also B2's relation to the Holloway Comet#like no. that's the. that's The Mother. that's the mother guys that's UNQUESTIONABLE#im talking about Monument Mythos vibes yknow. about giant n terrifying monuments/objects#i'm also cooking up ideas for comics focused solely on Bee#oneshots of sorts.... i should probably start sketching......#why am i having good ideas when i barely slept last night HSBWYSBWHDBHQHASSHHA#starbstalks
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Its like. SO surreal when you grow up "alongside" an artist- youre the same age, but they had a following bigger and better before you ever had social media to begin with, you two grow up, you follow their progress and they enjoy your support..
the clock strikes 19, and suddenly its like a ticking time bomb to see if they realized the responsability on their shoulders and that they need to grow up-their sudden power imbalance with younger friends, mutuals and fans. Do they know the damage they can cause? most of them dont.
Through a mix of self unawareness and selfishness, they hurt someone. they hurt a minor and now this person you watched develop before your very own eyes is the religated piece of shit of the week and shunned from the community.
Its even worse when thats your friend..
#i was kind of in such a situation but we spoke recently and i promised to stop talking about it. sort of. i guess i forgave them?#theres some leeway into forgiveness when the offense isnt extremely dire i suppose#what Synnibear did was..not good. and her refusal to self reflect and actually maintain her apology shows shes a bad person. theres no -#-forgiveness#and the guy i knew as a kid. they were just unaware frankly#i feel kind of violated by them but we made amends and moved on. i just kinda feel..gross for it still.#so thats kind of like. a reminder. to correct my posture and not be a freak weirdo around people in general#still a shame aint it#i can now name two artists who ive respected. followed and wanted to befriend turn out to be horrible people! wow#the other guy has a ally that im in personal kahoots with aswell#. ok i know his boyfriend is what im saying#and he says theres 'personal troubles' that the victim 'failed to mention'#i really. doubt anything can excuse talking to a 16 y.o weird when youre 18-19 bro#but am i being twofaced#i forgave Chris#but its not our place to forgive Kaz#does he realize he hurt someone for life#i was hurt for life#im still struggling with that weird shit that happened to me. theres effects im trying to hurdle over#that person probably had it way worse then i did right? imagine their struggle#how is Kaz any more superior or innocent enough to be 'forgiven' and 'permitted return'#even if somehow that kid turned around and forgave him. nobody will want him back#whats done is done. and if there was a way to 'justify' or 'explain' himself ... it doesnt matter#they dont forgive him#he hurt them#fuck this dude for real
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i've seen some people talk about einar's romance dialogue and how it feels offputting and rude to him but i'm gonna be honest,,, i never really saw it that way?
like i do agree that the player's dialogue options Suck compared to the other romances. something about it just feels really childish and definitely not as,,, "serious" or even committed as the other romance dialogue options. that being said, it never felt patronizing toward him.
to me, it feels like the player is just. being human. while einar is being galdur. the player doesn't get mad at him for not understanding certain jokes or not showing affection in the same way. and einar doesn't get uncomfortable with the player being human, making human jokes, or showing human affection. they're just Being Human and sharing their humanness with einar. which einar, while not always understanding of it, is completely used to and Does understand and enjoy it later on in the 3-4 levels. not that he didn't enjoy it before, but once you get closer to him, he Does understand more of the jokes and even joins in on certain ones (like the catch one!).
idk man it just always felt like the player and einar are just sharing their perspectives, personalities, and culture with each other. and of course there is the chocolate thing where he says he doesn't need it and the player has to learn what he actually wants from the relationship (ie spending time together). and there are still jokes that he ends up taking seriously, which yknow, that's kind of what i meant when i said the player's options often feel very childish compared to other ones. but it just never came off as patronizing to me, especially since einar repeatedly says that he enjoys spending time with the player and engaging in their "togetherness".
like to me it always felt like he enjoys learning about new things, even if he doesn't want to participate. like at the maji market when he says that while he doesn't understand the hotpot game, watching it fills him with "oneness". he enjoys learning about human and majiri culture and seeing them just be themselves! none of his dialogue implies that he's uncomfortable with the way the player shows affection (there Is something to be said about the dialogue options only ever showing one form of it,,, but tbf they can't put in 50+ options to cover the minutia of human brains lol)
idk i want to be clear im not shitting on anyone else's opinion on this!!! there's room for all perspectives here. i just wanted to share! i've seen SO many people say that romancing einar feels patronizing and like. i've just never seen it that way ! and it always confuses me when i see it akjhgd tbf i think some people are also neurodivergent (same lol) and don't appreciate the dialogue options that einar doesn't understand because in real life it Does feel patronizing when someone does it on purpose even knowing you won't get it. but for me, einar being galdur and not a neurodivergent human/majiri is an important distinction. he shows multiple times that he enjoys learning about human cultures and perspectives, that he enjoys talking to the player even when they don't understand each other, and that he's capable of understanding the player's jokes and sarcasm once explained to him. he Likes that they're different !
einar seems to enjoy the player acting "human" with him because he gets to learn about them! and he wouldn't want them stifle their true personality just to please him! einar is alllll about being true to yourself, your beliefs, your oneness, etc. he wants the player to understand him and his affection, but he also wants to understand the player's personality and affection. he wants them to share each other's "quirks". and don't get me wrong, i do wish there was more we could do to share in his way of affection (especially if his way is our way,,, like i'm Not flirty or jokey like that irl at all and i'd love to have more options where it really is just "hi i enjoy parallel playing with you :)))" lol) and that the dialogue options were less jokey or at least more affectionate/serious but idk,,, i think for me, i've just always seen einar as someone who wants to know and appreciate everything about the player, even the things he doesn't Immediately understand. he wants the player to explain things and share their culture with him SO bad
#long post#(sorry)#i just have so many thoughts!!#its so interesting to see how people feel about the npcs#like ive also seen Multiple people say that tish feels really naive and kind of rude but ive never seen her that way#she's not naive she's just upbeat and not involved in the cartel lol#like reth Intentionally hides it from her so she doesnt feel bad - that doesnt mean she doesnt understand how the world works yknow?#but thats a dif convo#or like how some people think kenli is very goofy silly and i find him really annoying akjgdh#i DO agree that the player dialogue options Often suck ass and there are so many times where just. none of them are good#and i would love it if they revamped the romance dialogue options with einar because.. So fucking childish i hate it#but idk they just never felt patronizing to me#it always felt like the player was just being human and not going out of their way to be like a galdur#which from everything we know einar's personality and background - i personally think he appreciates that a lot#because it means he gets to learn more about humans which is basically one of his onenesses#i agree that his romance is def not traditional and honestly feels more... aroace + demi? ish?#and honestly sometimes it feels like the devs intentionally made His romance dialogue somewhat vague and not like#the majiri npcs. like there's a noticeable difference in how he talks and shows affection and its not Just his personality#but again dif convo that's not the point ajkhg#idk i feel like for this it really depends on the intention and how the other person feels#the players intention is never to be patronizing and einar himself doesnt feel like it is#so like. PERSONALLY i just never saw it that way#sorry - im saying personally and 'to me' a lot cause i dont want this to come off as like rude or vaguey#i just didnt want to add in on anyone's conversation with a big wall of text essentially going 'i disagree' aljdhg#like again !! i respect everyone's opinion on this !!!#but i wanted to share! cause ive seen sooo many people say this! but i also know it can suck to have some rando on your post going 'nah'#aljdhg#einar#i Really want to hear more opinions on this like what do you guys think !! does the player dialogue sound mean to you?#or like patronizing? uncomfortable? misleading? etc??
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ok, i had such a lovely day today i could cry. i saw my friend and we had such a fun time, i got a new nostril piercing, we had some yummy korean food and we did some shopping <3 ive been so suicidally low & i couldn’t see a way out, i really needed this
#the way she was talking about how im a good and kind person and im so polite#and just complimenting me. after being absolutely berated by my ex best friend i really needed this#ive been feeling like im an irredeemable evil monster and it completely shook me to my core#I genuinely think i was complimented more today than the entire year i knew my best friend like ..#realizing how other people see me. and not just someone intent on being cruel to me was so important#she’s trans and she said im also the person who has supported her the most coming out and that she feels so grateful#like im so glad 😭 i love her .#we’re planning to hang out more now she’s moved back to the area and im so pleased#going to have some movie nights i think & go foraging for shrooms :)#(I also didn’t drink & hanging out w people is a major trigger so yay!)#txt
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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it feels like im reading against the intended tone of the relationship and character but god. if you take dana’s actions purely at face value the kind of person it paints is like. One I have a lot of complicated feelings about.
#like dont get me wrong miguel needs his ass kicked several ways to sunday for the cheating#but man. is there something to be read in someone who#finds a scaple and digs DEEP when she wants to hurt someone. like hanging out with Stone - KNOWING he drugged miguel - because she wants to#needle him about not spending time with her. kissing gabriel while saying not to let the past affect his relationship w his brother now#LIKE. on one hand i can just chalk this up to shitty misogynistic 90s writing and theres absolutely an element to that#but on the other hand im like how do you fuck up interiority on this woman specifically SO hard if youre not going to interogate the actions#she takes or offer an insight into how this character thinks or considers others around her#when other women in this series like Xina and Conchata have really interesting and compelling dynamics and actions that you can dig at from#several difffent angles like#THROWING MY HANDS IN THE AIR! GOD! I want the writing to give a shit about how it constructs Dana and what that implies about the kind of#person she is#tunes talks critical#<- since there’s an element of me bitching shdhd#tunes talks 2099#and like. I don’t need Dana to be a ‘good’ person! I want her to be a person that I can interpret the mindset of! and understand the way shw#views other people and herself and it just doesn’t feel like the writing gives her that grace
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this is like the most niche thing ive ever imagined with an f/o but i like thinking that papyrus could call my bluffs really easily when no one else can. specifically UMM self care and health bluffs? i dont really lie about it. i just intentionally leave stuff out so people dont worry? like, if someone asks "have you eaten today?" ill be like "oh yea i ate before i came here! ^_^" but then i tactfully leave out the part where the only thing i ate was, like, a piece of candy i found on my floor or something and prior to that i hadnt eaten for a week, and things of that nature. and people never ever realize when im bluffing which is convenient for me but obviously Bad in general, but. i like imagining that paps of all people can just sort of innately Tell when im hiding something or skewing the truth just a little bit
#because hes SMART!!!!!!!!! and GOOD AT READING PEOPLE!!!!!!!#so far the only other person whos learned that i DO bluff (even if she doesnt call them naturally) is my school counselor#thats only because i told her about how i bluff a lot. so now she kinda questions whatever i say about my own health LOL#we were talking about my arfid at one point and i said how mama wants me to go see a professional about it#and i told her id declined because while my situation wasnt ideal it wasnt THAT bad and wasnt dangerous to my health#and she was like ok so how often do you eat#and i had to be like. umm. Sometimes.#and after like 5 minutes of pushing she got me to admit i ate maybe once a week (ITS BETTER NOW THOUGH!!!!)#and she was like. ok so i think maybe your definition of whats 'dangerous' to your health isnt normal at all.#anyway i imagine paps would be like that except i DONT have to tell him. he just kind of knows when im leaving stuff out#this is also so unique to papyrus nobody else can tell not even sans despite his skill of reading faces#blegh. i think the day im like fully open and honest with my life and how i feel is the same day jesus comes back or something#cherry chats#hes also good at prying in a way where i dont feel like shit. idk how to explain it but like umm#when ive been in situations where people have pushed me until im forced to guiltily admit i was leaving stuff out i feel bad#not only because they called my bluff and learned i was (almost) lying to them but also it makes me feel bad about myself#but i think hed never make me outright say it#since he just Knows hes also able to come up with ways to bring it up without atcually saying it out loud#he knows that i know that he knows etc etc etc#AND ALSO HES UNRIVALLED WHEN IT COMES TO MANIPULATING PEOPLE INTO DOING WHAT HE WANTS (IN A NICE WAY)!!!!!!!!!!!#SO IF ANYONE CAN GET ME TO EAT ITS HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hes so smart. he just tricks people into doing stuff for their own benefit and they hardly ever realize it#hes my BEST FRIEND FOREVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333
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tattoo that says i <3 making friends. if my chosen career path did not rely on my appearance i would so get it. because truly i heart making friends
#whenever i’m near where my aunt lives (not the best part of town anymore)#i’m like oh the girl with the cute bralette top she borrowed from a friend lives around here!#that was the concert i met the lady who was 10 years older than me at and she was like wow there’s a lot of teenagers here and i was like#wait how old are you then. and she was 26. and i was like no way you look my age im 16. and she was like no way you look like an adult#despite me being 5’0. i know the big personality thing gets overused but everyone assumes i’m 5’4 at least because i just really like#talking to people. that concert was a while ago but i still think about how my friend i was there with and i ran into two other girls from#our school#i regret not buying merch tho. bc after that concert they got signed and changed their name#they’re really good too#a friend of mine used to date their original manager and another friend of mine was besties with the lead singer#and i’ve talked to the original bassist a few times on instagram. it was about how men vs women behave when it comes to holiday events#and the current bassist lives in my neighborhood#they’re both technically with the band. the second one stepped in when the original one had to leave for college so they kind of alternate#who’s on bass#personal
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#I'm gonna talk into the void for a second#it's been so weird. like. idk how else to describe it#i drove home from work in a daze bc my best friend called to tell me the news#i ate then i locked myself up in my room and cried#now it's been a few days and that's become routine#i was so....idek yesterday that i cut of 5 inches of my hair#i miss him#and it's complicated bci know what he did to others but i also know what others did to him#he was just a kid when he was thrown into fame and with all the pressure and lack of adult guidance or help he didn't stand a chance#he was gobbled up by something bigger than himself and wrung out for money when he was still a kid wanting to please everyone#idk everything just feels weird#the sadness is really ugly and strange#having to compartmentalize has been tough#i had to let some of my students know that i was a huge fan of 1d so they'd shut up bc they were going on and on about him#they're good kids and immediately stopped talking about it but they were speaking so callously about a person's death#i avoid tumblr unless im home because you all get it#i feel so incredibly alone in this in real life#my best friend has been amazing and listened to everything i have to say but she doesn't get it. how could she? her idols are still alive#so i only come on here when i can completely feel everything#I've spent a couple of hours everyday on here crying with all of you because you all get it#this ugly weird thing. you all feel it too#it's been the way it was when the fandom was at it's most active. all of us discussing and feeling and being *together*#I'm so grateful to you all for always being here or for coming back and for understanding it#idk if i would have had a genuine place to go to for this outside of tumblr#and i think thats a testament to all we've been through and the kind of online spaces the boys cultivated#especially liam who always seemed to be so happy to interact with fans and fanart#im going to stop now or im going to keep rambling forever#rest in peace liam and thanks for everything#lp#❤
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why was uninvited to a trip to nyc simply because I don't like socializing 💀💀 I mean I'm not mad about it but like girl when have I ever had a major problem with meeting your friends...
#okay#to clarify#i fknt think the trip actually happened#BUT!#it is the idea#i was talking to her and she mentioned it and she said she wasnt gonna invite me because i dont lile socializing#she said in in a kind of “oh im saving you from having to interact with people youre unfamiliar with” kind of way and not like#my not being super social is a burden to her so that's good ig#but still 💀💀#im not mad but its kinda funny 💀#personal#also i overheard my mom and grandma talking about how shes (my cousin) a bitch to me sometimes 💀#but like dude i genuinely do not care#💀💀💀💀#its whatever#we are like polar opposites
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Yall dont even know just how well-behaved i am DAILY at work! its like having two jobs at once! like im an undercover person who is put in a room with intolerable people very opposite of me in every way & is forced to play pretend & be niceys or else i dont get my prize at the end (clocking out & getting a paycheck)
#lets put a queer autist whos hyperfixation is su has no religion likes quiet & can only calm down with isolation & my music in a room with#another autist (unaware) whos fixation is yugioh/power rangers (uninteresting to me) who does voice impersonation stims & clings to you#who also thinks people like you (queer) are wrong & loves to talk to you about your ex-faith#& ALSO WITH ANOTHER autist (unaware) whos fixation/faith is stones & a youtube alien cult & also LOVES to talk abt how unhealthy food is#& shes a helicopter person who wont leave stuff alone even if she knows you want to be left alone & also looks down on minorities#once theyre all in that room together we'll shake it around to make them anxious & agitated & see what happens!!! doesnt that sound fun???#im being such a good nice patient person i stg#also the security guard & my coworker cant stand each other lately so GUESS WHO GETS TO HEAR ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!?!? me their ''friend''#killingkillingkilling#im not saying people cant come from different walks of life or people with different believes cant get along but GOD DAMN#its literally my worst nightmare EVERY TIME i drive to work. i literally dread what kind of conversations theyll have with me for the night#this is what i mean when i say i hate being palatable#people who are against me in almost every way fundamentally consider me their close friend & it fucking sickens me that i let it happen#aint no way im quitting my job though because its a near-perfect fit for me management loves me & the money is good for the work i do#plus if i work here i can easily transfer to another location out of the country which is ultimately my goal#sorry. woke up from my sleep & chose violence ig#no more ranting tonight prommy#emma rants#emma rambles#work tag
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