#the reason for this is bc i want to get an idea how big of an audience i have that can actually read the comic since it is intended for
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Asking the FLoc crayon [neon carrot] bc someone has to.
neon carrot: if you could give them any npc as a spouse, who would it be and why?
THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION.
To address the obvious answer given recent activities: no i dont think he should marry Feducci, but he… might, if given the chance. The man CANONICALLY sent Sam 12 cellars of wine with a note reading "TO PASSIONS UNMATCHED" i dont think anyone can blame him for feeling like they had something special!!!! Feducci seems like he could make him very satisfied intimacy-wise but would also almost certainly Make Him Worse.
Samuel's constant difficulty with Marriage is that he isn't really… romantic in the traditional sense. HE HAS A LOT OF PHYSICAL DESIRE but romance rarely does anything for him outside of stories, and he gets antsy whenever he's locked in to a particular life plan. HOWEVER: he is usually too Catholic(TM) to really embrace a no-strings-attached lifestyle, and his tastes are well outside the typical Veilgarden hookup anyway (one of his most sensual experiences was getting murdered by an actual literal lance through the gut, so…). The real reason he bought multiple viric dreams of the Bishop of Southwark was that he was trying SO hard to Want Marriage, but even with someone so physically intense and driven, that dream of settling down for life isn't what he really wants; he just wants the part where they're wrestling by the fire.
The other complication is that he has finally found partners he can be happily intimate with: Peter and Jack (@little-red-notebook and @reliably-derogaffectionate's characters, respectively), to whom he is essentially a friend with benefits. He was best man at their wedding somewhat wistfully, but since they've both assured him that they still want him involved in their relationship, it feels very easy to be with them; a closeness he wants without the expectations that come with being a Spouse. It's still, you know, making love outside of marriage, but Samuel has never been good at avoiding that, and at least here he knows he's not leading anyone on or cheating on anyone.
An Ideal Marriage for Sam would involve some amount of polyamory to give him room for these inevitable, ah, extracurricular activities, someone that doesn't tie him down, ideally someone he can do physically dangerous things with and, importantly, have sex (these two activities can be combined). But I also think in an ideal world he would have someone who respects his own principles and doesn't try to smother his hope for compassion with duty, which feels like the big sticking point for a lot of the aggressive characters (like Southwark and Feducci) that Sam's attracted to.
I don't remember well enough to say how many of these points she hits, but I keep thinking of the Zubmariner from the Sunken River ES, as someone no-nonsense in a way Sam really respected and found attractive, but who also has people she cares about. She might be too cool to fall for this soggy loser, though, and the chances of her turning out to be a lesbian seem high. (Also Sam left her behind…. that's a choice he regrets, and I kinda wanna replay that story at some point, with the idea of him actually trying to go back for her). But in general, the idea of Samuel marrying a principled pirate where they both know their first love will always be the zee feels like something that could turn out to be a genuinely happy partnership for him. BUT WHO KNOWS maybe in a year I'll come back with a totally different answer I never saw coming.
#lmao sorry just talks Sams Feelings On Marriage instead of answering the question#fl crayon ask game#flondonposting#fl: the bloodstained deacon#sam is aromantic he just isnt ace and doesnt know what to do with himself#ftr Poor Edward is not here because i have too many thoughts abt him and that wouldve taken over the post#but the tldr is that I think it would just be kind of a bittersweet outcome for both of them#i think it could work out eventually but id need to write an entire fanfic to make it happen#ask shazz
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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#the reason for this is bc i want to get an idea how big of an audience i have that can actually read the comic since it is intended for#mature audiences#you can like obviously still follow/like my art if you're under 18! I intend to keep my mains clean! the comic itself however covers heavy#themes and unhealthy dynamics#full tw list to be released later
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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Hey, as someone who was unschooled, please don’t say that parents “do not care” to teach their children. It has nothing to do with not caring, in fact in my experience, parents of unschooled children care far more than those of schooled children. Are there bad apples? Absolutely! But unschooling is not out of a lack of care. My parents did not put me in school because they thought I’d struggle there, and frankly I do not think I would have survived school. I am much happier with the way I was raised than any of my friends who were sent to school are.
I also know many, MANY people who were unschooled like me that have successful careers and lives. Please don’t fall for the “well they didn’t go to school so they’re failures as adults” thing.
I wrote those tags written quick without bigger thought, my bad i apologize.
That being said if you happened to watch the video i mentioned in the tags, you'd hear how the youtuber mentions how much parents care, mentions the safety of schools with the shootings, the state of US education, and however how much said care can also ruin child's life sometimes. There might be plenty of children who ended up successful but also plenty who ended not successful. There are even comments under the video. (once again, a video by Kasia Baba)
Everything in life is nuanced. But like, I never said anything about "well they didn’t go to school so they’re failures as adults" since literally homeschooling exists and people can get schooling in individualistic ways? And very specific cases exist aswell.
It's simply absolutely wild to me that it's legal to not even teach your children Basic Math or Reading in the US. Because stuff like that in my country is Illegal. It's illegal. It's simply illegal here so Yes i'm going to think it's Wild. Education was boiled really deep in us bc education meant a job for decades.
Teaching basic math and reading should be mandatory no matter what. That's also why homeschooling in my country requires some kind of tests every now and then.
Like honestly, every child is different but also there still needs to be some kind of system in place bc most of normie parents couldn't Ever handle something like "unschooling".
In my non american eyes It's a very special kind of upbringing which should be reserved Only to very individual cases. There are children who'll learn how to read on their own and count on their own. But it's not all of them. I know that if it were me? I'd be ruined as hell because i was a slow kid.
Please note i'm seriously, Not American so it's natural such concepts would surprise.
#It's just shocking to me bc like. HONESTLY. I remember how we'd have this whole page in history class about how important education is and#what it meant for people to be able to get education#and how not giving your children any education had to become illegal#so culturally historically for me it's also bit shocking#to hear that USA requires nothing#It also made me realise some logic behind some other online posts#like once i saw a post about how it should apparently?? become legal for children to run away free from home#no questions asked and no police and stuff#and it made me so???? bc as children are chained to parents parents are also chained to children? they have to pay for school materials?#are required legally to get children possibility to go to school.#+ there are organisations to which actually children can go to to escape their evil cruel parents. no need to live on streets in shelters??#But i guess that's also not a thing in USA??? SOMEHOW???? idk. it was a random tumblr post#But even bigger reason it made me confused as hell was bc that idea sounded like such big opportunity for child trafficking#and child abandonment#and throwing out children to the streets (because honestly. not every parent who wants to kick out their children to the street has to#be physically abusive to them)#But anyways it's offtopic#i just think USA is wild and Somehow it continues to shock me#carpet's box#carpet talks
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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just woke up from the best film I've ever watched in my life only to realise it was a dream
#IT DOESN'T EXIST. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION#is there an animated film about like these 6 rats or something escaping from this guy but there's all these themes that they go through#and the final theme is death bc one of them gets impaled by a rose thorn and it's like FUCK bc they were almost gonna get away#so there's this old guy who's a bit of a prick but he becomes nicer at the end but he's the one that dies#and these two girls one of them is like idk she's good at a lot of things and the other one is kind of a pushover#then three guys one of them is really pathetic one is kind of silly and one of them i guess is the Normal Main Character type#also there's humans going about their lives in the present but for some reason the rats' lives are set in like? early 20th century italy#and there's all these shots of like the italian scenery for some reason. idk why it's set there but it's a vibe#idk who the guy they're getting away from is or what he wanted with them but yeah#and bc they're rats or whatever type of rodent they were they would like hide in bushes and it would be really intense bc like#what if the guy can see them#and basically not to give any spoilers but then the old guy died and they wrote some quote on a bit of paper and drew a pic of him and stuc#it on the wall as tribute. and idk who's gonna see it bc I think they were amongst some plants at the bottom of like#one of those bench booths you get in restaurants or cafes. I have no idea#but then it ended with them walking up this hill into the sunset or something idek#with this like late 60s/early 70s big produced sweeping strings tambourines etc. banger playing over the credits#also my car was in it occasionally. and this guy I went to college with and never spoke to#and my best friend briefly#and earlier on I had another dream but idk if it was connected. but it was stan kyle kenny and cartman#but they got a job where my dad works in this park as like. toilet assistants. as in when someone went#to the toilet they'd open the door. that was the whole job#but one of the job requirements was they had to be beatles coded apparently#like that's what it said on the application. so they basically just reenacted the history of the beatles#while opening toilet doors#it was like 4 dreams in one but they were all somewhat connected. also the lining in my coat was so reflective it made a sound#and I was telling someone about my favourite chord progression idk what relevance that had but standard dream i guess#anyway. rodent storyline was going on as it did but at the end it became a film and suddenly I was there. watching it with my friend#and i was like ''god originally I would've given this a 4 maybe 3.5 on letterboxd but now it's getting a 5 + a ❤''#ramble#oneiro
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SWANFIRE OUTLANDER AU YOU SAY????
first of all LOVE that we all understand The Vision and Genious of this au. second of all you guys really are gonna make me do something w this huh 😂
#teresa answers#asks#ankahikoibaat#like i cannot stress enough how underdeveloped this au idea is to me it is a vague concept lol#beyond emma being from tlwm and neal from ef and emma ending up traveling to neals ef time and getting stuck and they run into each#other there#i dont exactly know how yet tho#and obv this is a no curse au but im thinking neal ran away from rumple and while he’s on the run is when he runs into emma#and emma for some reason goes to storybrooke and there’s some kind of portal there that emma accidentally travels thru#and then jumping ahead i don’t WANT to include the separation but it’s both a big thing in the ol story and the sf story#so I don’t know why yet but emma has to go back BUT they don’t know emma is pregnant#and i think emma raises Henry in this#and the story book shows up in Henry’s life again when he’s like 10/11 and he figures out abt his dad (bc emma obv hasn’t told him the#truth abt it. a fairytale universe??? so hard to explain)#and Henry brings it up to emma and they talk abt it and Henry finds out it’s possible to go back and then they do#and that’s what i have rn 😂#but I have a long car ride tomorrow so you know i’ll be spending it thinking abt this 😂#and i am Not a writer so all i will have to offer is a moodboard/picspam of sorts and some rambling plot description lmao#and again i would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this idea as well!!!
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so ig butch is synonymous to trans men to ya'll now huh
#welp looks like its time to hit the ol dusty trail#i dont identify as butch and i will eat you if you force that label on to me owo🔪#you fellow trans man reading this who id's as butch: good for you! im happy for you! I however dont identify that way#and i dont think the label 'butch' should be seen as an alternative to 'trans men'.#please hows about you dont force an identity on to me that cis society has tried to. an identity i dont want nor that i identify#with in any capacity 😌#oh how unique of you to force an identity on to me that cis people want to force on me 😌😌😌😌😌 totally original#heres an idea: let trans men decide for themselves how they want to identify motherfucker!#maybe the reason yall dont think 'infantalization' is a big deal is bc yall do it too and hate ever seeing urself as doing something wrong#i can choose my own identity fucker. i dont need your help nor did i fucking ask. get the fuck out of my way before i cut you
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except that im mentally dead, i’m good
#i know its my concerta crash 80% but man being outside of my comfortzone for hours#does things to me too. like clockwork the mental exhaustion hits at 15 and its like someone pulled the plug#brain stopped working properly sorry only simple words used for me now i cant process#i got praise at work today tho so that made me feel too happy....#its deppressing how happy i am to hear anything encouraging or someone saying i do good#not hearing any of that growing up just made it something so major for me now#i'm going to be so fucking dead friday tho. hate how much energy goes away from me even if i just do small things#i know its my brain and how it works......... but my god...... i'd like an 'full energy battery' thats not normal peoples like 50%#cant tell if its my period thus my hormones speaking or if im in an episode#i think im just so fucking lonely haha....... i always feel that way but since moving on my own its bad#and the last moth its been worse too.... idk man. medication making me feel fine but also im like (: i need love and closeness#doesnt help that all my fave people have been away for diffrent reasons so i just feel lonely#not that im helping the matter bc im not contacting or telling anyone bc that would be out of line and bad so im just#here as usual i suppose? can still not get passed the idea that i exsist outside others needs for me#stuck in the mindset of always having to put others first and do whatever they want and idk how to start. im already an#big enough problem for people i dont want to make it worse for anyone dealing with me#miranda talking shit#negative#???
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In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.
When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.
One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.
Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.
The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.
There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.
❤
#answered#this was sitting in my inbox for a little while#and i wanted to answer properly but i fear that responding back is a little...hard#not that i dont want to its more like this was so prettily written and just so beautiful i fear if i responded id just ruin it lol#so im responding in the tags bc i feel better about doing that#i appreciate whoever decided to write all this up and leave it here for me it means a lot#more vent in the tag#not really vent but ig just reflective i suppose with the last week:#i think i may have actually talked about it before but you have no idea how happy i am with just. the people im surrounded with these days#because even if im going through something ill always push my feelings down in order to make someone else happy#because idc what happens to me overall. if i can make someone else happy thats all that matters#but ik a lot of people take advantage of it so when something bad happens when im unable to help someone they used to get mad at me for it#so more reasons to kinda push my feelings aside to cater to them etc etc etc#but i think the past week has been nice too in realizing that the people around me are patient and just overall kind -- not really expectin#much of me#ig theres this understanding that we all have busy lives now and maybe thats just the gift of maturity as a whole#even if im not the super positive or comforting presence people put me as at least people still care and thats how i know im loved at least#ig in a way this ramble is just a very big thank you to everyone for that#theres a lot of kindness and warmth in this ask that i appreciate and only want to spin back to friends. i hope they can feel it#or that it reaches them#anons#kind messages
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going to the store was so worth it i got to say hi to the little (3 months old iirc?) puppy again and this rlly nice smooth collie .. owner was like "they can tell u like dogs!" Fuck man i sure do
#many tags read at ur own risk vvv#some lady at the store thought i was trying to walk out without paying and i was feeling insulted bc rlly if i had been stealing u wouldnt#even know. im not that stupid 😭#but those dogs made everything better <3#there was a small terrier w the collie too but at 1st the owner was like oops sorry#when it went towards me. nd then i got distracted by the other dog#and im like Please dont apologize u have no idea how much i like dogs.#ugggh the puppy is so cute too this is the 3rd time i get to say hi :'] gave me kisses#owner said that ill have to go first bc otherwise.. (we'd be there all day) LOL. i personally wouldnt mind#rlly my biggest concern w ppl's dogs is being sure that im not bothering either of them#bc every time if someone talks 2 me i have to say i dont understand finnish and hope they speak english. so i dnt want to be in a situation#where someone actually doesnt want me to greet their dog 4 any reason. yknow#and i dnt understand that right away and look like an asshole. orz. hasnt happened nd hope it wont but i try to be cautious#but that aside i would say hi and pet nd ask abt every dog i see.#maybe not every. i do have my preferences (biased towards big dogs <3) but u get the idea#i need to stop talking sorry im autistic. i could reach tag limit if i kept going
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ASFSBDJHKHDHAJF me when I
Anyone: /reblogs my art or writing
Me: /fucking RUSHES OVER TO SEE IF ANYTHING IS IN THE TAGS
#me when i!!!!!!!#me!!!#it genuinely makes me so so so happy#i smile so big#especially when people say they want to eat my art#the compliment ever#ive been getting a little bit of attention on some of my recent stuff and i am absolutely overjoyed#i love checking the tags on any reblogs i get#and omg!!!#its so crazy to me to see people I've been following take notice of my art#like so many people i admire have shown up in my notifications like! so and so like your post or reblogged it or something#and my mind is blown every time#im so so happy about it#i want to thank them all individually and tell them how cool they are but I've got no idea how to do that lol!#and omigosh.. some of us are mutuals now???? AAAAHHGFDDSDS ❤️❤️❤️❤️#i really don't want how to properly express how excited and happy i feel in a better way ughhh#so if any of my moots see this#thank you so much?? i don't know!!! 😭❤️❤️❤️#i love you guys and i think you're so awesome and ughgfsasomgggg 💔💔💔#i should def reblog more things. i just get nervous about it for whatever reason? im sure people appreciate reblogs tho bc i know i do waaa#i cant believe cool people have looked at my art like whatttt
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jojo is a very funny dog bc he wants love and attention just like any other animal, and yet he is seemingly unable to get it. Ive watched him start mimicking other animals behaviours purely bc theyre getting attention and he isnt. and when he inevitably is unable to get the attention he wants he either lashes out or runs away somewhere. Im sorry jojo i wish everyone else loved u as much as i did.
#noone in the house bothers to even try to get an understanding of him and his tells/behaviours#mostly bc their stupid and selfish but thats another thing#did u know that when he barks it isnt for no reason whatsoever? what a fascinating and novel idea wow who couldve figured that out#oh he doesnt instantly get along well w other animals? really? like every single other animal? and something thats even more characteristic#for a chihuahau? incredible who wouldve guessed#hell do a thing where hell go in a circle if he wants u to follow#if he does it near a door that usually means he needs to go out#if he needs water in his bowl hell start banging it around#food however hes evil and big and greedy#hes strange too he doesnt rlly play like most animals and he seemingly gets bored of pets quickly#i still can never figure out what he wants todo w the attention he gets. most of the time when ur looking at him he just stares back. with#his beady little eyes. strange guy#he knows how to play w other animals though so thats cool. wish he valued their attention just as much as human attention
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why do applications feel like your soul is being lightly roasted at 180C
#I’m applying for. a thing that is very much a once in a lifetime opportunity. and I don’t know if I want to do it.#like I cannot overstate how huge this could actually be#the problem is I don’t know if I actually wanna do it. and I can’t tell if that’s for good or bad reasons#the worst part is I actually have a decent shot. it’s far from certain this is gonna be competitive as hell but I can Do This. theoretically#and on top of that my current boss and HIS boss have connections there that they said they would talk to. I didn’t ask. and I feel like I’m#gonna wither away into a tiny little ball and float off#i know that almost everything is gotten by connections now and I’m only HERE on the fucking poor kids scholarship already that’s why I have#this internship in the first place but oh my god. oh my god.#it’s a three year long thing. that’s so much time. and it’s so much work. it’s work I can do in theory and they’d help me but#god I don’t know how to feel abt this#it’s also a field which I’m definitely interested in but in a way where I’m not sure if I’m That interested yknow. but I think I also am?#I’m terrified that I won’t like it and I realise I don’t want it but get offered it and cannot turn it down bc of how big it is#genuinely the worst part of this is I have a shot. my boss’ boss recommended it to me and she’s fucking insane#I have the draft ideas for what I think is a decent application I just gotta write it but again. it feels like I’m dying.#but I gotta do it by Thursday and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#I’m terrified and I think it’s also something I can’t not put an application in for or I’ll regret it. so I’m going to do it scared.#I’m going to do it sososososo scared. like. literally had to stave off a panic attack at work after talking to my boss abt it today.#I haven’t had one of those in a while#if any of you are reading this and have the space to talk abt this rn pls text me i know I’m allowed but I didn’t wanna bug anyone rn#okay. it’s 10:30. I think I can let myself do this tomorrow. and I’m working from home so I will do it on the clock <3#for now I’m allowing myself to think abt dnd.#luke.txt
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