#but the tldr is that I think it would just be kind of a bittersweet outcome for both of them

[shazzbaa]

Asking the FLoc crayon [neon carrot] bc someone has to.

neon carrot: if you could give them any npc as a spouse, who would it be and why?

THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION.

To address the obvious answer given recent activities: no i dont think he should marry Feducci, but he… might, if given the chance. The man CANONICALLY sent Sam 12 cellars of wine with a note reading "TO PASSIONS UNMATCHED" i dont think anyone can blame him for feeling like they had something special!!!! Feducci seems like he could make him very satisfied intimacy-wise but would also almost certainly Make Him Worse.

Samuel's constant difficulty with Marriage is that he isn't really… romantic in the traditional sense. HE HAS A LOT OF PHYSICAL DESIRE but romance rarely does anything for him outside of stories, and he gets antsy whenever he's locked in to a particular life plan. HOWEVER: he is usually too Catholic(TM) to really embrace a no-strings-attached lifestyle, and his tastes are well outside the typical Veilgarden hookup anyway (one of his most sensual experiences was getting murdered by an actual literal lance through the gut, so…). The real reason he bought multiple viric dreams of the Bishop of Southwark was that he was trying SO hard to Want Marriage, but even with someone so physically intense and driven, that dream of settling down for life isn't what he really wants; he just wants the part where they're wrestling by the fire.

The other complication is that he has finally found partners he can be happily intimate with: Peter and Jack (@little-red-notebook and @reliably-derogaffectionate's characters, respectively), to whom he is essentially a friend with benefits. He was best man at their wedding somewhat wistfully, but since they've both assured him that they still want him involved in their relationship, it feels very easy to be with them; a closeness he wants without the expectations that come with being a Spouse. It's still, you know, making love outside of marriage, but Samuel has never been good at avoiding that, and at least here he knows he's not leading anyone on or cheating on anyone.

An Ideal Marriage for Sam would involve some amount of polyamory to give him room for these inevitable, ah, extracurricular activities, someone that doesn't tie him down, ideally someone he can do physically dangerous things with and, importantly, have sex (these two activities can be combined). But I also think in an ideal world he would have someone who respects his own principles and doesn't try to smother his hope for compassion with duty, which feels like the big sticking point for a lot of the aggressive characters (like Southwark and Feducci) that Sam's attracted to.

I don't remember well enough to say how many of these points she hits, but I keep thinking of the Zubmariner from the Sunken River ES, as someone no-nonsense in a way Sam really respected and found attractive, but who also has people she cares about. She might be too cool to fall for this soggy loser, though, and the chances of her turning out to be a lesbian seem high. (Also Sam left her behind…. that's a choice he regrets, and I kinda wanna replay that story at some point, with the idea of him actually trying to go back for her). But in general, the idea of Samuel marrying a principled pirate where they both know their first love will always be the zee feels like something that could turn out to be a genuinely happy partnership for him. BUT WHO KNOWS maybe in a year I'll come back with a totally different answer I never saw coming.

[smilesrobotlover]

Aight I’m gonna rant about the ending of totk… again. I deleted the first post cuz honestly my opinion has changed on it and I just wanna say some things cuz a lot of people left some awesome inputs.

Now I wanna say this first, I have nothing against happy endings. I love happy endings. Zelda games all have happy endings. But they’re also very bittersweet and some of them just outright devastating. This game def has a happy ending, but it’s underwhelming to me. What I want out of totk is CONSEQUENCE. You’re telling me that Link lost his arm and Zelda turned into a dragon and then in the end everything is back to normal and things are fine and dandy? Like it’s not a terrible thing, but it feels like everything you went through was kind of pointless cuz the characters don’t seem to have been affected by it. I would’ve been less upset if Zelda at least kept her memories as a dragon, or had some dragon features or something. The light dragon was easily the best part of the game and it ended in such an unsatisfying way. YOU don’t have to agree with that statement, but it was unsatisfying to me. I didn’t like how Rauru and Sonia’s bs magic just turned her back. I can understand Rauru’s arm being there since Link was there and Sonia’s time power turning her back to her original form, but how is she just there? It’s not a TERRIBLE solution but it’s not good to me personally.

A lot of people commented on the original post that there should’ve been a quest for Link to find a way to bring Zelda back, and I found that far more intriguing than leaving her as a dragon. This game is full of fetch quests but this type of quest I would’ve loved, besides, Impa WAS going to look for a way to bring Zelda back, it’s not like it would’ve come out of nowhere. I’m sure doing this would ruin the flow of the ending, but let’s think about AOC. Terrako dies. He stays dead at the ending. But after you finish the game, you can start rebuilding him, and there’s a second ending where Terrako is back with a cute second staff credit. Totk already has some AOC influence with the character bios and stuff, so I feel like it would’ve been fine if they had done this honestly. And it would’ve been more satisfying that the player WORKED towards Zelda returning back to normal. You can have the dive that parallels the beginning and all that stuff, it’s fine. I just feel like this would’ve been a better ending to the game.

But again, I want consequence. I want Zelda to either be haunted or amazed at seeing history before her very eyes as a dragon, I want Link’s arm to not magically regenerate, I want there to be something different with the characters. Cuz to me, it felt like the characters came out the same way they went in.

Now just to clarify, this would’ve fixed the ending for ME. If you’re content with the ending I do not care. Good for you. I’m so glad you’re happy. But this overhyped game wasn’t good for me and I have so many issues with it so I just wished that Nintendo did something better with the ending. Something more bittersweet or hopeful towards a future cuz there’s none of that (I guess Mineru dies but she was already dead and only Zelda cared about that so I really didn’t care that she officially died. And it’s not like she was an interesting character to begin with).

Tldr; I wish there were more consequence to the game and I wish the light dragon had a more satisfying ending

[yuurivoice]

Hi yv! I just wanted to send a message saying how much I love your content and I have for years. It's been amazing to see your channel grow and I'm one of your biggest fans!! I used to sub to the patreon but life goes hard and I haven't been able to for a while. The latest auron video has been practically on repeat for me and I really just wanted to say I hope you have a wonderful day and happy holidays!!! Give all the kitties a kiss on the forehead for me pls!

Thank you for the kind words! No worries about whether or not you're a Patreon sub, I certainly appreciate the support but always want people to put themselves first so don't sweat that and I hope you kick life's ass! Also, sending me a kind message is a pretty great way to support in its own right, so I'm genuinely appreciative!

The cats will most definitely be smooched, and I'll pass along a note that it's from a kind Anon!

It's been a wild few years, huh? Making the leap from the Tumblr days to the YouTube era was a big one, but the past 4 years were where I really started to find my footing and I think there's been a lot of growth creatively and personally.

Things have been moving in the right direction despite some personal road bumps and detours. Looking back, there's a lot of things I wish I could have accomplished and kept afloat while working through everything. Still dealing with the guilt of BitterSweet and Shattered not being a thing this year, particularly for all the ride or die Alphonse and Seth fans who have been starving for content while I've been hesitant to push out content for them because the big series wasn't coming.

Thankfully, most people have been supportive, kind, and understanding. That being said, I'm not ignorant to the nature of my content (growing roster of characters = someone's fave isn't getting posted for a while) and I'm doubly thankful to those who have been chill as other characters get established and have their time in the sun.

I'm really hopeful that in the coming year, balance and scheduling and planning are all finely tuned and help me avoid content traffic jams like we've run into such as the recent Charlie Era (lol) which wasn't exactly the plan, but with October AU series + Plushie + Lost & Found all aligning it sorta just worked out that way. Also, it bears mentioning that it's not every day that a side character who was not guaranteed to catch on as A Thing (TM) actually finds an audience and has significant demand. Sometimes you gotta roll with how things play out, and that's just the nature of creating content on social media.

I'm optimistic that things will be at least a LITTLE bit more balanced thanks to ADHD treatment and seeing huge improvements with my mental health. Which can't be understated, because holy shit, the amount of things I'm just able to do without feeling like I'm holding myself at gunpoint or making a million deals with myself to convince myself to do a single task is amazing.

Not only is it easier to get to work, it's easier to do more of the work. That Auron audio you referenced is a great example. I was worried with the script I had and the premise, I wouldn't be able to get much more than 9/10 minutes out of it. The length of my general audios is something I've been conscious of forever, so I was shocked and thrilled when I finished up with the recording and it was 24 minutes of some of my favorite Auron content ever. I'm getting more comfortable improvising, or creating more as I go vs. write, record, post. I'm able to do a little more, add things that I would normally omit or not bother with, and just try harder without feeling like I'm trying harder and purely because I'm enjoying it and I want to.

I am SO sorry that this turned into a rant in response to what was a fairly straightforward question, you caught me while I was feeling introspective.

tldr: Thanks for fuckin' with me. Folks like you make me want to work hard and deliver the goods. The kindness goes a long way, and I don't take that for granted!

[cielelyse]

Boo! I saw you followed me ^u^

What's your opinion on angst vs whump? Which do you prefer to read/write?

HI SILVER!! Omg YES! You've been such a source of happiness for me for the past 10 months and have always been so kind, and I love what you wrote -- I still think about how stark and distinct Patty's voice is in that letter -- so I'M SO HAPPY TO BE MUTUALS

(Sorry you asked straightforward questions and here I am going on a ramble wkh;ghweg;kg)

So there's actually a pretty specific thing I like in stories (it feels too callous to call it a "trope", but it kind of is one). It's when a character experiences prolonged hardships/suffering/abuse, but they don't quite recognize it as such. They might think it's just a natural thing that happens to everybody, or they might know it's abuse but react to it like nothing happened: hide it, shoulder it, repress it, put on a mask. Bonus if it happens in childhood! And bonus if their found family later finds out about it not through them!

Which I think falls somewhere between angst and whump... Tbh I had to google the definitions before answering NHEL;GWEK so from what I saw, "angst" is primarily emotional distress, and "whump" can cover either/both mental and physical suffering? (PLS CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.) If that's the case, then I think what I like proooobably falls into more whump than angst, since I love the mental/physical torture but the character narrating wouldn't often lament about it as torture, so it might remove some of the emotional distress. Not all! But some!

ANYHOWS I do love them both. Especially if there's at least a bittersweet conclusion at the end.

And I definitely prefer to read angst & whump than write it! There are always a lot of new thought processes and emotional progression that I learn from reading -- specific to the writer -- which opens up a lot of avenues to explore empathy, WHICH I FIND SO INTERESTING. I don't learn as much writing it myself. Reading also feels more cathartic to me. But sometimes I'm really just in the mood for that specific thing above, and if I have trouble finding fics for it, I enjoy writing it myself too because that would cater exactly to my taste xD

TLDR: I LOVE THEM BOTH and definitely prefer to read!

I'm gonna send you an ask of the same questions Silver! I wanna hear what you think too!! (I realized you have a writing blog so I'll send asks in that one :D)

[bestbuybathroom]

I'm also not a big shipping person. How about 003, Ava?

rubs my grimey hands 2gether

sorry if this seems kind of disjointed/nonsensical, if you need me to elaborate on something just tell me lol

How I feel about this character: 

aouaah she deserved so much better man. she went THROUGH IT!!!! also her model is probably my favorite human model in the game, it amazes me how her and knack 2 lucas come from the same game.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: 

literally Zero

My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

her and lucas were such a cool duo in the beginning of the game,,,,, i think the way their characters interact (or rather could've interacted if i wrote knack lmao) is really interesting and kinda tragic, if that makes sense? the way they interacted in the beginning of the game vs the end where they talk more like acquaintances or strangers is soooo fjduagajwgsysbahaa starts gnawing the bars of my enclosure. tldr they're fucking DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE. THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS SO DOOMED and i love that. it makes their interactions in the beginning so bittersweet when playing for a second time

My unpopular opinion about this character: 

genuinely i don't think ive seen enough posts abt her to point out a strictly unpopular opinion. but personally i don't think she did anything wrong/did things that literally anyone else would do in her situation lol

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

SO MUCH the writing for the second game sucks so bad man. but off the top of my head i think exploring more of her and xanders dynamic + her backstory would've been cool. like, was xander a parental figure to her?? how long have they known each other??? xander literally barely talks about her after she betrays him like COME ONNNNN. also where are her PARENTS

My (platonic) OTP:

her + lucas

My (platonic) OT3:

her + lucas + knack

[wing-ed-thing]

I'm literally so obsessed w Foul Creature. It's the first story I found of yours that made me wanna follow and I'm so happy you continued updating it.

I'm sure you get this a lot but I love your writing style. It's the kind of style that makes me stay and keep coming back for more.

I gotta ask, without giving too much away, is Foul Creature going to end in fluffy angst or bittersweet angst?? 😭

Thank you!! You're beautiful 🩶🫶🏽

I would love to take a moment to LIGHTHEARTEDLY give you a hard time and think that all of my other writing was terrible until you found Foul Creature and decided “yeah, maybe worth a follow” LMAO. JOKING JOKING. Really though, I appreciate your kind words and I am so happy you’ve been following along and enjoying.

About the ending… I have been deciding how I want to do it. The original plan was to do a sort of “choose your own adventure” thing where a pivotal scene occurs and I ask you at the end of the chapter what you want to do. There will be a few options, and whatever is most popular will dictate the ending (I was considering with one “good��� ending out of the selection). The only solid ideas I have so far are extreme angst and fluffy, bittersweet but satisfying angst.

In the same vein, I was considering a series of these for maybe a week where there would be a scenario or a piece of dialogue out of context that you would have to vote on your response. (One I was considering was “Do you love me?” But you wouldn’t know who was speaking for example.)

I do have an epilogue in mind already set in the Shippuden era, but I think it’s a bit dependent on what ending I want to go with (aka if I want to leave it up to y’all).

One thing is for certain. Everyone in the story, including you, dies. Whether or not it’s after a long, fulfilling and peaceful life may or may not be up to y’all.

TLDR: For the Foul Creature ending, I don’t know if I should just a) write the ending I have in mind b) let you choose one action at the end of a cliffhanger chapter that will dictate the ending c) make a series of polls voting on several character actions out of context before the beginning of the end. All characters will die, but the epilogue is in the shippuden era.

I am also setting the poll to one week so you can save your vote for after chapter 11 if you so choose.

[benoitblanc]

🔥 + hadestown

karolina i had to let this one sit in my inbox for a little bit because i knew if i didn't think about how to answer very long and hard i would end up with about fifty paragraphs. so my tldr of all the hadestown thoughts that are just constantly in my brain is that the ONLY musical that even stands a CHANCE of potentially beating it for objectively greatest musical ever written is into the woods, which is kind of similar thematically anyway, so maybe my point here is that if the musical isn't about the power of storytelling and the importance of individual agency, i don't fucking want it. i was lucky enough to see the obc way back before the pandemic and as such i never want to see the show again because i don't want anything to write over that memory. the catchy but incredibly sophisticated music... the bittersweet notes of the story... the sharp political commentary... the breathtaking set design... eva fucking noblezada... broadway will never ever be this good again.

(also one more quick thing: i think that almost every edit anais mitchell made to bring the show to broadway was the best possible thing she could've done, but i will mourn the loss of "you're early"/"i missed you" at the end of doubt comes in forever. WHY would you cut that. holy fucking SHIT)

send 🔥+ a topic & i'll give my honest opinion!!!

[lovinglin]

1, 2, 3, 4 and 13 with,, with lynelle? 🥹🥹🥹 you kno i love them lots bespren 🐖

I GOTCHU BESPREN. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU‼️‼️ NUMBER ONE LYNELLE SUPPORTER🫶🩷🩷

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

I am making stuff up on the spot‼️ I don't have a last name for Lynelle but maybe... Lynelle Valentine? Perhaps? Sounds cute HSJAHSJD she has the same birthday as me (Oct. 14) like all my other inserts do, BUT I'm taking a little bit more creative liberty with his height (they're 5'5-6 methinks :3)

TLDR: Lynelle Valentine, October 14, 5'5-6

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

OOOO OKOK SO... I don't have a very concrete knowledge on game mechanics on x and y so take this with a grain of salt but- I do like thinking that there's gotta be something that the player triggers to have encounter with Lynelle. Maybe it starts off with weird and faint whispers of screams, then dialogue, then the actual encounter (battle perhaps). But here's the catch! To give it a more spooky feel, I like thinking that Nel doesn't actually... attack the player, especially with their Delphox. Maybe the dialogue just changes into something like a cry for help? Calls back to how Nelly would try and scream for help since he was trapped in the cave and left to die there. She tries calling for help from the player even though they're already dead, but in their mind- sometimes they get thrown back into an illusion they're still alive and suffering.

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

Disturbed, probably! They're a ghost and the first encounter you have with Nelly isn't too pretty. Unless you're not used to encountering ghosts, ppl would definitely get spooked with first meeting them. Even after knowing they don't mean any harm, Nel tends to be a little- weird probably? Tends to crack dark jokes that revolves around their death and is overall maybe a bit of a pest. Not for anything bad! They've been alone for alone for a long time, so any company would be appreciated.

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

OHOHOHO, GOOD QUESTION. I've only hinted it before (and only few know abt this) but TECHNICALLY you can consider Lynelle a main character! Though, they're a discarded one, unfortunately. My lore for her is that they were made as a gnc option for the current x and y protagonists (Calem and Serena), but for some reason- was just thrown to the side afterwards (probably bc ppl weren't too fond of him...). Guess she's just a side character for now- not a villain but not a hero either. Supposed to be a hero, but fate wasn't too kind with him.

13. does your self insert have any information about their family?

Ouu what if I make this angsty!! I haven't thought much of their family but maybe... they're a single child? Whose parents were a bit careless. Making it the reason why they became a bit reckless in their choices (I mean- who decides to just casually explore a dangerous cave?)

BUT BUT... ehehe making the dynamic between him and Rainbow a bit more sad- what if Nel had a younger cousin that would come visit every now and then that would play with him. But at some point, the cousin would stop visiting- making Nelly wonder what happened and why :(

Cue to Rainbow where once Nel meets her, it's a bittersweet feeling of being reminded of their little cousin... making him want to keep Rainbow around lot more often bc he couldn't bear to be alone again.

[straykats]

kat talks: 5-star

tldr; it did not take long at all for this comeback to grow on me i love it so much. i find that with most new songs my first listen is always very apathetic and/or ??? LOL and there exists only a small handful of songs that i immediately was like oH MY GOD (this is across all artists i listen to) but yeah i always forget that when listening to new music and i think this comeback is the first time i fully acknowledged that my first listen is rarely (and doesnt need to be) instant likesies. theres a lot of small bits throughout the album that remind me of other songs (not a bad thing, just smth i noticed i kept noticing?). topline, dlc, the sound and time out were/are my favs hehe (update: relistening to the album again and collision and fnf are creeping up to my favs too help)

hall of fame

okay im pretty sure i've heard this in my brief listen before but i also dont remember it at all

i cant describe it but that alien-sounding melody actually has me seeing like a weird alien brainwashing thing

WHOS FUCKING-- WAS THAT JEONGIN??? AT 1:24???? that was so pretty i want that framed

during hyunjins bit i got weird b me flashbacks??? i dont think it sounds similar but my mind immediately went 'b me !!'

jesus felix

the moon landing audio is such a cool inclusion,,, 5 star,,, hall of fame,,, a star/celestial body themed comeback,,,,

s-class

okay wbk i was so confused the first time round but its grown sm on me

i LOVE the power of the opening

the cartoon boing/spring sound and (its not but) the tom and jerry running sound hehe

this song definitely sounds.. grand? and wide? and a good title track

"[im] up above the world so high" nice nice twinkle twinkle reference hehe

i absolutely love jeongin's bit in the bridge and i love the choreo of it too

item

i love the game sounds they use in this hehe

seungmin's prechorus reminds me of smth but i cant place what it is

felixs ... tone? like? the voice he uses???

hyunjin/changbin bit in the bridge >>>>> i cant explain it but it sounds so good

super bowl

the instrumental at the beginning took me by surprise.. i also am sitting ehre trying to identity the?? The Sound. digital/synth. like the almost cowbell almost snare one. ive replayed it so many times.

i thought this when i first heard it (while doing the dishes lol) but is this song all in english?

whats that sound between 'have a bite' and 'make it mine'

screams TFDGVJABVAD the whisper im sorry i cant do it HAHAHAHAHA

topline

to be mad honest i was SO excited for this based on just the teaser

'we skedaddle intoxicated razzle dazzle' best line fr

okay ik i didnt say much for this one but its one of my favs

underground rebellious kinda vibes i love it (i described that wrong but i have a very specific img in my head)

dlc

im trying to play this on the pino and its driving my nuts but in a good way

the 'amudo moreuge' line throughout the entire song is so [deep breaths] like i cant explain it but it BUT AHHHHHH (fun fact for any pokemon people LOL the song oracion has the same kinda thing in it. idk what to call it.)

oh i LOVE love the piano during the second verse AHHHHHHHHH not gonna be able to replicate it but thats okay

the song/chorus has a.. an urban tropical feel? like it's ALMOST something you would hear with a tropical background but smth about the key, maybe, plavces it instead in an urban setting at night (bc lyrics) and seems kinda bittersweet

THATS WHAT THE AMUDO MOREUGE LINE DOES it adds such a sad kinda tired/resigned feel to the song which is like. on one hand the lyrics are so 'lets dance like crazy without a care in the world' but on the other hand the song feels so lonely and kind of. 'don't worry about me, i'll manage my sadness alone'??? like, 'let's have fun together but i'm really sad even though i'm smiling' kinda thing ARGHHHHH

get lit

seungmin's line rmeinds me of smth ARGHH its another skz song i know that for sure but i cant remember which one (ngl a lot of the songs in this album have parts that remind me of another kpop song,,, one of the above reminded me of nct but icr which song)

oh wait i think its my pace @ seungmins line

the instrumental would be so cool for mashups etc

wait one of the lines is 'today im so cocky' which is interesting bc theres a previous line (sueprbowl?) thats about not being cocky or smth HMMM i would revisit but tbh i cbb rn rip

collision

tRUMPETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT... i think

trumpets reminded me of maknae on top and this song also suits jeongin's voice sm i love it here

oh??? the ringing at the end???

fnf

this REMINDS ME OF SMTH TOO an dits not kpop

but i do really like it

'ashes up in the sky' ,,,, thinkingthinkingthinking

this feels like the opposite of time out and idk how to explain it

lix singing !!!!!! i love it sm

WAIT THSI ONE ACTUALLY REMINDS ME OF B ME wait no or is it levanter

the flaura and fauna line also reminds me of venom

both of the above points refer to the melody ,, seungmin's venom prechorus "cant escape-" and then it jumps The Other Song which i cant figure out what it is AHH

was that an eagle did i just hear an eagle

the minho/chan ending is so <3 <3 <3

youtiful

the muted piano i [crying] also almost gives me knnw vibes

'must be an oracle' ????? trying to understand this. like. it must be predicting smth,, but what,,, 'look at the stars fall / they leave the sky, goodbye' which part of this is the oracle i-- ad oracle as in like a person or a message but either way

if anyone covers this song please use a xylophone or marimba hehe would be so <3

oh i can see this second verse being animated so beautifully

why did changbin singing at the end make me so incredibly soft

the sound

okay this song has been out for ages but i think the only thing i said about it was smth about the bass and also how it sounds like a 'final stand' kinda song

okay ngl i liked the jpn lyrics better for the chorus oopsies im sorry

the piano sounds so RAW like the ringing of it the way the key falls and the mallet hits the string like you can HEAR it like thats exactly how it sounds when you play that high on a piano and also like. imo i notice the sound more on older pianos and just bc of that personal association (???) this song gets a bit sadder

adding to the 'final stand' feel is the police sirens in the chorus

time out

i just love this song sm man like idk what to say at this point

OH IT REMINDS ME OF A DEEMO SONG AHHAHA WAIT LEMME FIND IT // this song omg i've never thought about it before but listening to time out just then, i literally went 'you ready?' and then i was like WAIT THATS A DIFFERENT SONG

this song would be such a fun end-of-concert/encore song woah

yeah no i really dont have much to say i just love this song sm

[jinogasux-fr]

This entire thing has been really exhausting for me, and I can gratefully say it can be put to rest now.

TLDR; My account got reinstated. Santae staff said it was due to a false flag by a new automated system they had implemented. I don't think I could have gotten this outcome without everyone helping spread the word; thank you.

On the night that I made this post, I finally received another response from staff:

Needless to say, I was rather confused. It kind of felt like the explanation has changed a little bit, and now it appeared that there was some kind of hacker that logged into multiple accounts at once; not just my own account.

I sent back a rather livid response because, frankly, the way this whole situation was handled was incredibly unprofessional and, if my account really did get hacked, I could've been in a lot more trouble than just my Santae account for the reasons I explain in my response:

And just now I've checked my email again to find this response that was sent earlier this afternoon:

It's bittersweet. I got my account reinstated, which I am quite happy about and I do want to thank Santae staff for doing so, however, I am extremely disappointed by how this whole situation was handled and started. Given how silent Santae staff was to me before I made my post, I really feel like if my post didn't get as much traction as it did, nothing would come of my situation. For this, I thank everyone who reblogged and shared this. I feel like thanks to you, enough pressure was put onto Santae staff for them to take action.

Additionally, while I am appreciative of them taking steps to rectify the issues that caused this situation, as well as no longer entertaining the idea of asking for photo IDs from anyone, the fact that this situation happened in the first place has incredibly soured me from the game, and I'm unsure if I will return to it. But, I'll be keeping my eyes out, and watching how the game responds to its community and how it works to handle feedback and improve itself. Maybe with time, these wounds will heal, and I can return without feeling the way I do right now.

You can do with this information what you wish, whether you think Santae staff is telling the truth or not. I would still hesitate to recommend this game to others at this current time, and I am incredibly uncertain if I would find joy in returning to the game again after this. But, I'm tired, and I just feel like reading a book right now.

At the end of the day, I'm just happy that I got some form of closure, and the ability to make the choice of returning to the game or not at all.

Thank you, everyone - including Santae staff.

Santae banned me without telling me why and won't unban me unless I send them my photo ID

Hey guys sorry for not posting in… forever? I just suck at social media lol. But you may have seen that I've reblogged some posts that advertise Santae in the past, but please disregard all that. I've since deleted those posts after learning how the site is managed and, after what happened to me a few days ago, I feel as though I should go public about this. Because boy did I just get fucked over.

Anyway, yeah, what it says in the title. On October 24th, around 10am EST, I was restocking my user shop when the entire webpage went white. I couldn't access the site at all and, when I tried to look for the Discord on my server list, it wasn't there. I knew what this had meant. I got banned from both the game, and the Discord - this is important to keep in mind for later.

I didn't receive any Discord DM or email notification about my ban, so after asking a mod what their support email was (and yes, I later verified that this is indeed their legitimate support email), I sent them this:

After a few hours, I get this back in response:

There's so much I'm confused about here. I think the one that screams out the most is that they're asking me to show them my photo ID so I can get unbanned. Absolutely not. I refuse to do this. This poses a massive security and privacy risk. They straight up banned my account, gave this half-baked explanation, and told me I need to send my personal information or... I stay banned?

Let me make something clear: The only personal thing they have on file about this account is the email address that I created my account with, which I've also used to contact them. My real name, date of birth, anything of that nature would not be connected because this was not asked for during account creation, therefore this wouldn't actually prove I'm the account holder. Theoretically speaking, I could show them any ID in the world and for all they know, that's my real information, because they have nothing else to go off of. They even say as much in their privacy page.

Secondly, "account has been compromised"? What does that mean? I think anyone's interpretation of this would be that my account got hacked. But if my account got hacked, why wasn't I informed of this? I had to reach out to support, they did not reach out to me first. That means my password, which I may share across other sites, would have been known to someone else and thus I should've been warned of this immediately, not roughly 5 hours after the fact.

Thirdly, what, was my Discord "compromised" too? If an automated system had flagged my account, does that system somehow interact with a Discord bot so they ban a user on both at the same time? How does that work? That makes no sense as to why they'd ban me on both the game and the Discord for something like this, which is why I'm calling bullshit.

Let me tell you what I think happened.

Recently, Santae has been in some really hot water with connections revealing their relation to an older petsite, Lurapets, which has a history of scamming and artist mistreatment, as well as proof coming out of them using AI art for their NPC art. You can find these posts on the @santae-salt blog if you want to see for yourself, but I'm also linking them throughout this post.

Once the post about them being directly related to Lurapets was released, several users that the Santae staff thought might be involved in the creation of the post got banned. As it turns out, I was banned at the same time as these users.

After speaking with the @santae-salt admin, we are both of the belief that I, a regular user, got caught up in this mess because they're assuming I'm an alt account of someone else and staff demanded to see my ID because they didn't think I was a different person. It may turn out to be wrong, and yeah that sounds a bit far-fetched, sure, but really, what else can I go off of here?? Santae staff has given me a very questionable and refutable explanation as to why I've been banned, and their radio silence after I refused to send them my ID is just making me believe they don't think I'm real. They don't want my photo ID to verify I'm the account holder, they want my photo ID to verify I'm not someone else.

This is unprecedented. I've never seen any petsite ask for a photo ID in any situation, and after asking around, not even those banned from Santae were asked for this. It's just me! This is an incredible attempted breach of privacy, and, with Santae now under doxxing allegations, I really don't feel confident they'd keep my personal information… well, personal.

I messaged back almost immediately after they responded to me where I told them I would not send my ID and I had asked if there were any other way I could verify myself to get my account unbanned. I've received no response so far, and after what I've learned, I feel like I'm not going to get one at all.

So, let this be a lesson to you: don't waste your time on Santae. You can be the most obedient player out there. You can abide by all their rules, be a nice and generous player, or just be minding your own business, but if they so much as think you're associated with someone who they think has wronged them, you'll be banned.

And they can't even be bothered to properly tell you why.

[onlyswan]

i am SO SORRY for how long this message will be

dearest art,

please forgive me i’m literally just copying and pasting my thoughts about dreamboat part 2 from my rb tags (from my other account) so !! i just cant stop thinking about it and you deserve all the compliments in the world.

while reading i was just thinking about how the phrase in another life is one of the most cruel things to exist. everything you could’ve been, and all these versions of you exist; but you’ll probably never meet.

“in another life i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

“in another universe we’re sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, writing a grocery list”

i also immediately thought of taylor swift’s songs cardigan & peter!! especially these lyrics and how they parallel each other:

tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy // forgive me peter, my lost fearless leader

i knew i’d curse you for the longest time, chasing shadows in the grocery line // forgive me peter, please know that i tried; to hold onto the days when you were mine

- the goddess of timing, once found us beguiling (from peter) THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!!!!

here are all the lyrics from cardigan that encapsulate the feelings i had while reading:

- i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss; i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long

- playing hide-and-seek, and giving me your weekends

- your heartbeat on the High Line, once in twenty lifetimes

- you drew stars around my scars, but now im bleeding

i could literally talk about the song peter and how a majority of the lyrics fit so well with the dreamboat characters:

- and sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream; we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon, in different galaxies

- cause love’s never lost when perspective is earned

- promises oceans-deep, but never to keep

if the timing was right, if life didn’t cast its cruelties. nothing is more devastating than knowing you’ve found the right person, but the timing was just never right; its out of your reach now. all those what-ifs that haunt in the middle of the night. i hope whatever happens to dreamboat jungkook and oc, that its kind and they can finally, one day, be at peace.

now im just rambling and projecting but to give you the tldr: rip my heart out why don’t you lol. but in all sincerity, this was so beautifully written and such a bittersweet story that i will be thinking about for a long time. as always, tysm for sharing your gift with us all, its a privilege and honour to see <3

sending you all my love!! 🌱💌✨

my heart is bursting and i want to squeeze you in the biggest bear hug😭🫂❤️

“in another life” “in another universe” were invented by hopeless but hopeful lovers in my head </3 the way it speaks of regret and/or longing that can only be cured by imagining themselves across time and space 😭 so gutwrenching and cruel truly. the second example!!!! </3 they could’ve been that

okay so i finally listened to peter and you said were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me + i won’t confess that i waited but i let the lamp burn 🥲 really hit me hard along with the ones you shared. except dreamboat!jk was told not to wait and well…

i hope whatever happens to dreamboat jungkook and oc, that its kind and they can finally, one day, be at peace.

crying like a baby </3 they deserve the absolute best in life and i hope life could be gentler with them truly

🥹🥹🥹 and i’m so grateful to all of you for dedicating your precious time to reading my works. it makes me so happy and so honored. love you to bits and pieces!! 💖🔐

[yuurivoice]

Hi! I don't know if this counts as profound but I got stuck in my creative feels so figured I would share. I create a different kind of media to your awesome work, but writing's still involved.

When I start out with a story idea, I often find it being completely derailed by the characters, the more I write them, the more I get to know them, until they eventually start writing the story themselves.

Does this ever happen to you? And if so, how do you stop them from running away with it a little too much?

That's a great question, and I've talked about it a bit before because it is definitely not the way I think most people expect writers to write, I think. lol So for me, BitterSweet is a great example of how sometimes I let my stories reveal themselves to me as I go. I may go into it with a rough idea and an outline, but BitterSweet started off as "Rival for listener's affection arrives in town, creates conflict, leads to two different routes people can listen to." and we ended up nowhere NEAR that.

As I was writing Seth's introduction to the listener, it was the first time I was sinking my teeth into him and getting to know him. Up until that point it was just "he used to do crime with Alphonse and he feels like he got sold out" but I'm big on motivations, set ups, and payoffs...and his arrival didn't have enough stank on it. lmfao

As I approached the "I don't hate him, I love him" reveal gears just started turning and ideas started flooding into my head and it was exciting. Writing, sometimes, is sorta like playing a rogue-like game for me. Never know what loot you're gonna get, or what is behind the next door. At least, when establishing the story and characters.

Once I got to BS3 I was much more deliberate and my process was outlined pretty thoroughly. I made some detours (background on Charlie wasn't planned, but people's interest in him made me pivot to an entry with the Al/Seth/Charlie story) and ran into some massive decisions, but those were all primarily choices left up to me vs. letting characters show me the way.

I don't think I've necessarily ran into any character running away too much, or straying so far off the beaten path I felt like I had to wrangle them. Even if sometimes it's inconvenient for me, they haven't led me astray yet! The issue I find is that sometimes I am too ambitious in scope, or underestimate the time and effort required to see things through to the end. Sometimes that's just on me being exhausted and struggling mentally, sometimes I just get bored, sometimes I need to move on to other stuff because of timing.

So, when I'm first learning a character and discovering what makes them tick and how they fit into what I'm trying to do they definitely get in the driver's seat for a while. Once they're well established in my head though, I'm much more likely to outline, write, perform, and post without having to make many adjustments.

Now, in terms of structure and plot, that also changes as I go sometimes. For example with the spooky season AUs, I outlined three parts for each boy, and basically after the first script in each I was like...yeah okay so this needs to be tweaked. It wasn't entirely because of character, more so I didn't really know what I wanted to do with those stories until I was in the thick of things. I might go in with a plan, but as I discover what characters really want to say, how they want to act, etc. it might not necessarily reflect what I thought the plan was. Thankfully it's never TOO far off from where we were trying to go, so it's just a matter of shuffling and planning. The AUs probably didn't help a ton because while they're familiar characters, they're also entirely different in terms of motivations and situations so I have to familiarize myself with them as if they're new.

tldr: Yeah I'm changing and adapting all the time to what the characters want to do vs. what I thought we were going to do. From little things to massive things like...oh, they were lovers, oh they were best friends, oh he nearly killed someone for him, oh he's terrified of who he was and has a shitload of trauma, oh he's healing because he's been shown unconditional love, oh he's learned how to show that love to others, oh they're like a little family now.

It's beautiful because it's coming right out of my heart and soul, rather than my brain. The deepest parts of me wanted to tell that story and I didn't even know. That's art, and I didn't even know I could do that.

[daz4i]

ur takes r sooo based

ngl I feel like maruki is a very interesting character and just describing him as "evil" and stopping ur analysis of him at that instead of examining how his system of morals works and what r his views on life and happiness etc in general means missing out so much on themes p5r is discussing

THANK YOU BESTIE!!!!!

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!! like his views aren't even THAT out there. i know so many people (myself included) who would genuinely benefit from a world like his. so even in the context of the real world his morals aren't that skewed

and after you see his past you can also know where he's coming from. and after interacting with him in his confidant AND seeing his palace how can you still think his motivations are selfish? (which is usually the case for people who base their views on what goro says, like i mentioned in that post. goro says this bc that's all he knows, adults doing things or controlling out of selfishness. he doesn't KNOW selflessness bc he's never experienced it, so he doesn't even consider it an option. you're not supposed to listen to his take on it because again, it says more about him than about maruki)

also part of maruki's role in the third semester is to make you question the phantom thieves' actions so far!!!!!!!!! i think this is something a lot of people ignore bc it just makes them kind of uncomfortable. both maruki and the thieves use the metaverse for a good cause. both are doing it for selfless reasons that are impacted by their personal pasts. both, at the end of the day, just want to create a better world by eliminating negative aspects of it. and by removing yaldabaoth, the thieves also make a decision for all of humanity. so why is it okay for the thieves to do it but not for maruki? (also i mean by getting rid of maruki and his reality altering powers you're still making a decision for all of humanity askdjffhg you're still controlling humanity's happiness. just in the other direction. you're screwing up the people who could benefit from maruki's reality. why is it more moral than what he's done?)

AND THAT'S THE POINT THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!!!! YOU, THE PLAYER, NEED TO MAKE THE DECISION!!!!! YOU DECIDE WHAT MATTERS TO YOU MORE!!!!! THIS IS ALL SO MORALLY COMPLEX TO MAKE THIS A TRUE DILEMMA SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK AND CONSIDER THINGS!!!!!

and the fake reality is a genuinely good ending bc of that too!!!!!!! especially compared to the true one that's so so bittersweet but that's a rant i already went on before. this isn't even morals at this point just emotions, which is also a major factor here (and probably one of the reasons that so many ppl base their views on what goro says, bc their emotions over him are stronger than the rest)

so yeah tldr if you ignore the complexity of maruki and the third semester for a more easily digestable good vs evil debate you're missing the point of the story, the themes presented in the entire game, the morality of the main cast's actions, and maruki himself as both a person and a narrative tool.

[artsycloudysleepy]

(Obviously this my own headcanon, so it's cool if you disagree! Also large warning for angst! This is all based on my opinion that 2hats' fight is what gives them a happier end than 1hat's.)

My personal (sad) headcanon is that they either:

a) Fade away like in 2hats but never come back. They become one with the Universe by dying fully, because they never confronted their own fears and emotions + they did a 'special kind of giving up' like Sif in their own world. You could also see extra angst potential here where they see Sif place the coin as a grave before passing, or them still being semi/fully-conscious in some void, maybe stars, and the Universe is mocking them that they couldn't close the curtains of the play where Sif could. Until they lose any sense of who they are.

And becoming one with the Universe and failing to truly change the script (despite their wish, they still lost themself, died, and never ended the loops) - in truth, whatever they did in Siffrin's world really didn't matter. They wanted help, yes, but Siffrin didn't solve how they had most likely killed themself in their world for good. They learned how to stop the loops, but they can't go back to stop them.

b) They hide in the tree like at the start of 2hats, but due to the coin convo not factoring into their hatred of Siffrin, they leave them be. And their self-hatred and want to be punished for the loops/their selfishness causes them to never leave the favour tree. They sit under the thing that started it all for the rest of time, as a constant reminder that it was all their fault that they went through this, that Siffrin went through this, that Dormont went through this, that their family went through this. And potentially, in their world, they've left their family behind to cope with their death as Siffrin, assuming it still exists. Plus extra angst potential! If Siffrin had the convo with Loop about meeting the Change God, imagine how Loop would feel sitting in Doormont forever more. The Change God found their suffering funny.

Loop also learned how to stop the loops, but they can't go back. They have to live with the knowledge that they could have ended them at any time, yet they were too scared. And now they have to pay the price, for eternity. They're already kind of dead, so they could, theoretically, be immortal. And they force themself to sit there, invisble to everyone, for the rest of time. Maybe Isa and Sif propose in front of the Tree. Maybe Sif and Bonnie (and maybe Nille) play hide and seek around it. Maybe Mira and Sif have a mutual ace convo on its roots, where Loop used to sit. Maybe Odile reads to Sif in the same spot. Maybe Sif tells the coin, as a grave, about how they are. How they're healing. How they wish Loop was there to have fun with them and their family, too. Maybe Loop watches the coin rust over thousands of years. And still has to be glad they're not repeating the same two days. Likely a worse fate than option A.

tldr; they either die and have a horrible 'afterlife' of sorts, or they sit under the favour tree forever as punishment and watch everyone but them heal.

-------

1hat is the ending where I don't think it would be right for them to have a happy end. In the whole of ISAT + SASASAAP (I'm 99% sure Loop is Siffrin in that game, just with a few tweaks), Loop is doomed by the narrative. Even in 2hats, even if you headcanon they live (yes they do yes they do please stars), their end isn't exactly happy; more bittersweet. They still can't undo anything, they still have to cope with being stuck in the wrong body, they still have to see their family not recognise them, they still have to see a clone live the life they wished they could live, after having looped for less time than them, having beaten the King so many times, and having faced up to their own emotions. Something Loop could never do - what they face up to is their emotions regarding Siffrin, not their own loops, and not to their family. In 2hats, they change their ending to have a semi-happy tone, but it's still overall a sad one. In 1hat, without that frustration being taken out on Sif, there's no happiness to be had.

I also think in 1hat, they'd feel even more guilt over Siffrin leaving the coin as a grave. Their thought process of 'wow I really want to kill this person. Who cared about me despite me lying and mocking them. Who felt remorse after their manic episode despite everything I did to them. Who remembered a forgotten country's tradition for death rituals. Who thought I was a good person, who did this out of the goodness of my heart. And I couldn't even tell him how disgusting I was. I pinned it all on him. And I still want to kill him'. They probably wouldn't be able to process that. Probably feeding into the 'you're disgusting, Siffrin/Loop' mindset of theirs.

There's also the possibility that they return to their own world. I personally don't headcanon that, so my take is here instead: Say they do go back. They learned how to stop the loops! Great! But can they stop them? What if they returned, back to the meadow, and couldn't bring themself to be vulnerable, because they deserve this? They deserve to suffer, Siffrin was the star actor, not them. What if the loops stopped the moment they did the 'special giving up', but upon return, they would be left off however they last died, likely with their own dagger in them? Maybe they return days or years later, in a frozen Doormont, unable to save their family and unable to try again?

And even if they were honest with their family, they're not Siffrin now. Overnight for them, Siffrin's been murdered and replaced with a selfish, snarky, snappy version of themself. Would they even look like him, or would they still be a star? Would they believe them, even? SASASAAP was slightly different to ISAT, after all. Maybe the hangouts were completely different. Maybe they've made no real progress. Maybe they have to be honest every loop, only for it to end and repeat because they still die or lose hope. Until they just can't do it anymore. They don't tell them, they don't do anything, maybe they give up specially again. And maybe then they die like in option A.

(I feel in 2hats, if they did return, it wouldn't be so angsty. They've been honest with their feelings about Siffrin, and made him promise he'll be honest with his family. They should only do the same. And then I feel they would get out without having to loop any more times.)

Ofc this is all my own headcanons! Give the nb of all time some fluff if you prefer! I just save the fluff for 2hats ('travelling with the gang + odile figuring them out and comforting them' believer here) haha

Also I am so sorry for the length and the angstiness lol. Can you tell I might be a little neurodivergent and hyperfixated /sarc

speaking of loop what do you think they do postgame if you don't unlock twohats. they don't even show up at the favour tree in the epilogue. somehow that worries me

[davyjoneslockr]

since you said no one has asked for fugo yet, fugo!

Let's fucking goooo

favorite thing about them: He's just so fascinating on like every level. His whole backstory (whether you go with the anime or PHF, I personally headcanon a mixture of both), the constant conflict he's in with himself that's symbolized by his hatred of his own stand, Purple Haze having so much symbolic meaning (the anger obviously, the fact that he can hurt himself just as easily as others, his inability to undo the virus once it's infected someone at first, PHF MAKING HIM ABLE TO COUNTERACT THE VIRUS/HELP FIX HIS OWN MISTAKES EVEN IF IT'S NOT A PERFECT CURE, the persistent cleaning of both his body and soul/conscience, I could go on), and all of the internal stuff that we get to see in PHF... even the meta stuff with Araki designing him as a traitor who would eventually have to face off against Giorno... ughhhh... he's my main blorbo for a reason

least favorite thing about them: I know my bio says "Fugo apologist" and all, but. Lowkey. I won't justify him leaving the gang. It was rational and smart and it made sense with his character, sure, but I still fully believe it was a dick move. I rewatched VA with a friend recently and was like "ughhh fuck you Fugo you fucking suck" at the screen during the boat scene, and my friend just looked at me like "??? Isn't he your favorite boy???" Yes, he is my favorite boy, but he is deeply flawed and kind of an asshole <3

favorite line:

Actually though, I know everyone says this, but his whole speech to Giorno in the Soldier in Love scene makes me lose my marbles every time. Also, his "Sheila E's anger is my anger!" etc etc before the final fight is. Hell yeah

brOTP: Torture Dance Trio <33333 Their friendship is so bittersweet and tragic but also a goldmine for comedic potential. They love each other so dearly and will stay up all night together if someone is having nightmares, but they also dare each other to drink Monster mixed with chocolate milk and get into fistfights over Tony Hawk Pro Skater

OTP: Hi I love Fugio so very very much. Narrative foils are like. My favorite thing ever. And there's something really cool and poetic about two people who are so fundamentally opposite, but ultimately come to understand and balance each other in a way that no one else quite can, if that makes sense. They allow for each other to heal, but also gently push towards growth, and like. At the end of the day. They're just two incredibly awkward teenagers who have gotten in over their heads in tragic situations, and the concept of them getting to experience some semblance of youth in their clumsy little young love is really sweet. I guarantee none of that makes sense, but uh. tldr I have a lot of Fugio thoughts floating around in my head constantly. (Also, not to be obvious, but literally every aspect of PHF? Yeah. The lyrics to A Solider in Love are literally about a man leaving for war and longing to return to his lover once his mission's complete. It's not subtle.)

nOTP: I mean like. Aside from the obvious gross shit like him x Bucciarati/Abbacchio, I don't really have issues with most ships involving him? I guess Fugo x Sheila, for reasons I mentioned in the Sheila post, and also because I headcanon them both as gay lol

random headcanon: Since Araki won't give him a canon music taste, I will. 100% dead serious he loves Weezer. He also really likes REM, The Smiths, The Cure, and a lot of classic rock. He wasn't allowed to listen to pop music growing up, so once he joined the gang, his music taste sort of became an amalgamation of the other gang members'; Bucciarati got him into classic rock, and Abbacchio introduced him to the alternative stuff. Secretly, he really likes Narancia's rap/hip-hop and Mista's folk and soft rock, too, but he's too pretentious to admit it. Also, he's a good singer.

unpopular opinion: I mean. I think liking him in the first place is still sort of an unpopular opinion. But he's genuinely my favorite JJBA character, which is maybe a hot take. Oh also I like his anime color palette sorry

song i associate with them: Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown by The Rolling Stones is the Fugo Song Ever and I am Adamant about this (also I have a little playlist for him on Spotify, it's kinda bad but. eh)

favorite picture of them: Give him back his stupid emo bangs,,, please they are important

[mafianoir]

have you seen rebel without a cause bc people equate james dean with his character in that movie or rather pop culture's ridiculous misconception of said character and the entire movie and i could go on about this but if i think about it too hard i might combust

HAVE I SEEN WHWHWHWHHW-- YES OF COURSE I'VE SEEN REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE DO I LOOK LIKE--

i could never put into words how i feel ab james dean's stardom better than the post i just reblogged but also,, i feel similarly about audrey hepburn (kinda, not to the same extent bc of different circumstances) bc i absolutely adore her to pieces but i feel like when people conjure an image of her or her persona/character in their head, it's either a) holly golightly or b) angelic manic pixie dream girl who was innocent and never did wrong

i'm ranting ab audrey in particular bc i love her ik this has barely anything to do w the ask

and i felt like this was too much to put into the tags but it almost pains me bc yes audrey was this wonderful, sweet, beautiful and kind larger than life woman who always strove to help others and was selfless- but she was also so agonisingly and wonderfully human, and she suffered so much and also harbors some of her own (very human) flaws, that i feel are glossed over in order to put her on this impossible pedestal. of all old hollywood icons, audrey is one of my very favourites (if not for lauren bacall, she'd be #1) and part of why i adore audrey is BECAUSE of her flaws, sometimes she was selfish, sometimes she simply yearned for things beyond her reach. i don't have an opinion on bill holden but her whole affair with him fascinates me to no end, and it is all so very.... human of her. she simply wanted, just like the rest of us. and often she might have behaved 'immorally' because of it. we all do.

same thing with marilyn monroe- to people today she is only ever Marilyn Monroe™️, never norma jeane, never the bright, well spoken and emotional woman, only the dumb, sexy curvy blonde, only an archetype. (there's also discussion of her being lgbt, but i feel with a lack of her own actual input, it's impolite to assume. correct me if otherwise ofc) same with frank sinatra and those who aren't aware of his alleged (real) mafia ties. so many old hollywood icons that are misunderstood and misrepresented as the image they portrayed on the silver screen, their real selves kinda just... lost to time. it's not even bittersweet. just bitter.

this is not to say james dean was flawed in a problematic way or anything- i kinda went off topic and went on my own rant. it's just that these real, very human individuals are constantly shadowed by what people want them to be. james dean is a particularly special case bc of clear lgbt erasure. like 90% of old hollywood were fruity as hell and of course there's no wondering why we don't hear about that facet of them now. as an lgbt individual myself, it's so lovely to know that these icons (that i cherish far more than our modern celebrities) were just like me. but the fact i have to dig through articles and cross reference books merely hinting about their queerness- it aches to know that history would rather replace you with a character you played, than celebrate you for who you really were. like dying isn't enough, they kill you again. ugh

anyway sorry for the long essay reply hhhh cringe i didnt even say anything substantial im just here to be annoying

and lbr if half of what these old hollywood starlets got up to were posted to twitter they'd all be cancelled sksjsjsksjdj cancel culture is so stupid

also speaking of misinterpreting a movie. breakfast at tiffany's is a whole other thing hhhhrhhrhgrfhfnfnhrhr

tldr; celebrities are human and over half a century later we still haven't learned