#the plot? the plot that they absolutely butchered?

[whetstonefires]

Winter's Orbit is sci-fi rather than fantasy, but I feel like it ran into this exact problem of not making this distinction correctly. Because while the book is still good, it is butchered compared to the original version I read on AO3, because the plot was reshuffled heavily to create higher stakes (space empire under immediate external threat!!) and a Surprise Twist, at the expense of 90% of the absolutely gutting gripping tension that powered the original.

'Impromptu spacewalk' has nothing on the emotional payoff of a protagonist no one respects (including himself) taking the gloves off and weaponizing even his own kindness to save a person he loves, who's been wronged and abandoned by the system he represents too many times already.

'Not knowing who the bad guy is' delivers shit-all tension compared to the guy who had just been starting to believe he might be allowed to be happy getting blackmailed right in front of us for like half the book while his husband has no clue.

It's ridiculous.

The stakes weren't even actually low in the original, ruin and political upheaval and even death were very much on the table despite the cozy tone, but they were very much subordinated to character, so the edits are very much a 'tail wags dog' scenario.

I have no idea who thought this was a good idea, but it definitely arises from this misapprehension about what 'high stakes' do for a story.

Cozy Fantasy and Why It Doesn't Work

I think I am among many who feel like they should love cozy fantasy and have found it an incredibly lacking genre.

This newly branded "cozy fantasy" genre that has taken readers by storm since 2020 and while it is new that books are now marketed as cozy, the genre itself isn't new. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a great example of the genre before it was labeled and also how to make it work.

Cozy fantasy is defined by many as fantasy with low stakes. Fantasy aesthetic but less sword fights. On paper, it sounds great. But the execution has been less than stellar for readers like me. The lack of physical stakes has also impacted the emotional stakes of these books, creating forgettable characters with boring problems. As a romance reader, I find this frustrating. Romance is known for being a predictable and formulaic genre, the now defunct Romance Writers of America defined romances as needing happy endings, a term romances have continued to follow. Yet these romance texts manage to have low physical stakes (how to date your neighbor, how to confront your toxic friends, etc) while still maintaining high personal stakes that keep readers invested and begging for more. So I was initially confused why cozy fantasy authors struggle to write texts that connect to readers like me.

I think I have found the answer which is the genre is just here for vibes. It is all about aesthetic, not even worldbuilding that fantasy is known for as most cozy fantasy I read have so many problems as soon as you ask one question. It is hard to acknowledge that a genre that is pitched to work for readers like me doesn't work for many of us. Especially because occasionally there is one that works beautifully to my taste.

I often say my favorite cozy fantasies that are more contemporary are short and visual, which I plays into the idea of the genre being an aesthetic. The Bakery Dragon by Devin Elle Kurtz is a good example because it is a simple story that is given the perfect amount of pages and gorgeous visuals without dragging on when the message is very clear and easy to understand. Books like The Phoenix Keeper and Legends and Lattes have absolutely nothing for me, their very clear message hitting the reader over and over so the readers don't miss it and focusing on the aesthetic of worldbuilding rather than the reality of the fantastic elements within the world.

I guess my point is. . . I realize this genre isn't for me since I have realized it is more of an aesthetic than anything. .. .but I want it to be. Should I let it go and put my efforts elsewhere? Or should I keep exploring this new trend and find the hidden gems?

[vexedtonightmares]

i got drunk & watched the rwrb movie last night and i have 2 thoughts

1. that was bad

2. it was like a bad porno but without any porn

[anonforlackofabettername]

Just finding out that Hadestown west end cast record not a full show recording and I’m genuinely devastated. They picked the worst epic to keep? They cut songbird and flowers, two songs that are integral to Eurydice’s character arc?! Where is our lady of the underground? I want to be fun and jazzy before I get sucked into sobbing about act 2. Where the fuck is act 2 btw?? Flowers? Nothing Changes? How long? Chant 2? Word to the Wise? His Kiss, the Riot? The gods-be-damned climax of the show is missing since they left out Doubt Comes In. Who are they highlighting? The men? Cause they cut both Persephone and Eurydice’s solos. In fact I’m not sure Persephone sings outside of a group number since it’s not like she has a large solo in Livin’ It Up on Top. Was the audio that bad or are they waiting to drop a deluxe version with the full track list?

Just. Choices were made and they were the wrong ones.

[d3sp4ir-c0d3]

I haven't seen an ending to a series this horrible since the homestuck epilogues

[sharonisthebettercarter]

I need the Gen-v kids and writers to fold Billy's ass because they're not like Maeve, Kimiko, Ryan, nor Starlight to take the disrespect from Billy. I need the to go off on his monkey ass because he not finna disrespect them, like he disrespects the former. Fuck around and find out.

oooohhhh i wish. but i can't picture it honestly, i get the feeling he will absolutely trick and hurt them as per that usual game of his

billy's been fucking awful from the get go and very good at it, it's only now that his team is getting fed up with his bullshit but that was a long time coming. i love this motherfucker to death in all the wrong ways but i ain't fittin' to turn a blind eye to all the shit he pulls and how grossly manipulative he is, even with hughie

ESPECIALLY with hughie. AND STARLIGHT.

like it's very concrete clear *what* he is from the start, something a certain darling mentioned to me was that billy technically never actually lies about who he is to the reader/viewer (don't get me wrong, there is a bit of deception and the build up and showcase is also def there, rather i should say, he lies to those around him and this is made clear to the reader/viewer)

he is awful, makes it clear he's going to be awful, and then does awful things that line up perfectly with the total piece of shit he is

but it is SUPER consistently clear.

*it's the characters around him that don't see the truth in what he is, give him the benefit of the doubt, or at the time being, don't see through the lies he gives them*

astonishingly enough, even when he's *actually* honest with them.

mallory said it perfectly

"you're only here because you're desperate and fucked and you want something!"

mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmm~<3 mah FAVORITE kinda billy bean<3<3<3

and mallory in both settings is one of the few people able to see through butcher's lies but i have big doubts those poor kids are gonna be on mallory or starlight's level, or even kimiko, because they just don't have that experience with him or what he brings to the table, especially if he starts promising 'jUsTiCe' for them. (it's not, it's never about justice, it's just straight up revenge porn. billy bean is a revenge porn addict--)

but hell, he drags mm back into that whole mess and mm won't blame him, but i sure as hell will because *mm has ocd* and butcher fucking *took advantage of that fact*, AND THEN--even mm says it

"always about becca with you." and "you are so hot for homelander right now"

LEIK--... i'm not gonna go into mah regular trash butchlander rhetoric (hey~<3) but leik, homelander literally does not give a damn about this man, there is always a legit *reason* or bargain that is *the* reason he *lets* the mofo live.

first time was becca cutting a deal with him, next time was blackmail, but like this mofo DID NOT hesitate to try to kill butcher when they met at herogasm which just shows how thin that ice is or how flimsy the 'scorched urf' deal was and how he's itching to be done with butcher, third time was RYAN. who got his attention and pulled him away before he could kill butcher when he very clearly wanted to, and now we're gonna get the euthanasia offering??? OOH--

yeah, homelander gives no shits about butcher beyond him being an inconvenience and it's pretty clear the main reason he hasn't bothered killing him is because he still doesn't perceive billy as any sort of threat to him... but butcher?

butcher is OBSESSED and yeah leik i know i say it every goddamn time but like he's really REALLY obsessed to the point where his brain rot for homie is 1000x WORSE than anything ANY of the girlies in fandom *COULD* have for homie--

oops look at that accidentally threw in a little more butchlander garbage lmao

there's def always a part of me that blames fandom misogyny for giving this boi a free pass half the time (motherfucker spends all his time shitting on becca's memory for his revenge porn fantasy+the way he treats all our lovely lady supes--)

amazingly, the framing is actually really well done because even though we know billy is fuckin' awful beyond any reasonable doubt or redeemability, it's still enough in what the characters around him believe to lead people astray and have them wishing for him to do the right thing even when we know he won't (with the rare few exceptions it's something that benefits him...)

altho deep down i think they know billy will just disappoint them because his whole ass job in the story is to make things HURT lmao.

the boi does know better... he just *chooses* to do *worse*...

i do think that because these kids have less experience with billy and aren't completely alone for him to be a vulture about, it also means they might be quicker to learn especially if they get help from starlight or the others. but unfortunately, i don't picture these kids being able to handle this crafty slimeball. maybe make the attempt but...

gawd, i do not have high hopes for these poor youngins...

[moeblob]

Lander: Did you just call my romantic options I give to Gavvin "a multiple choice test"...... Basil: Yes. Lander: It's not a test - Basil: If there is a wrong answer in your mind to the options provided, it's a test.

Lander runs a convenience store (he got it after his parents died) and he has a huge crush on very broke Gavvin who showed up one day out of the blue. And so Lander hires him and lets him live with him in the back of the store and honestly it's love at first sight for Lander. But Gavvin is much more "mmmmm kinda wary of you for hiring a guy off the street you've never seen before but I accept the job thank you".

Basil unfortunately is a teacher who has to not only put up with his teenage students but also Lander (and their very weird friendship) and Gavvin (very socially awkward new guy in town who asks a lot of questions to him specifically). Basil is chronically done with everyone while everyone is like "ah yes, he can help me with my problems".

[ghostsandtoasts]

I really want Horizons to just be it's own story.

A lot of my least favourite parts of Ash's journey was the writers trying (and failing) to incorporate the game plots, so I really hope Horizons doesn't fall into that same pitfall.

I'd rather have the Paldea cast get an OVA series like Twilight Wings that they can fully shine in, and keep Horizons focused on the story it's already set up.

[naemors]

every time i peek into the namor tag on twitter, i regret every decision that led to this moment

[screechingsandwichhologram]

do i change up and sometimes completely butcher characterizations for some characters so it fits my stories better? yes. but do i also understand the character themself and actually know their motivations and struggles and flaws and all that shit? yes.

[milkteahood]

texas heat

Thomas Hewitt x fem!reader

Warning: smut! minors dni!!!

Summary: basically a smut with a plot

Sweat broke on your forehead as you wiped it still half asleep. It was terribly hot to even rest. As your eyes opened and started to adjust to the darkness around you, thoughts about the whole situation were still fresh in your mind. How long has it been? You thought to yourself. A few months maybe? 4? 5?

You stopped counting the days after the first few weeks. What for anyway? It wasn’t like you were ever leaving.

***

“Come on boys! We are completely lost!” your friend spoke, gesturing with her hands.

“It’s fine! It’s all good. A little detour” the driver laughed without a care in the world.

“That’s right Sam! Stop being so difficult. Look, Y/N isn’t saying anything” the other guy talked from the passenger’s seat.

At the mention of your name, you looked up from your book, and then quickly got back to it. You weren’t actually reading, but they weren’t paying attention to that. If they did, they would’ve seen you didn’t turn any page in the last 5 minutes. Pretending was just a good excuse to be out of this circus of conversation.

You didn’t consider any of them your friends. And you were sure they didn’t think of you as that either. They were Sam’s friends. And Sam was your friend out of convenience, just as you were to her. You wanted to travel, and she didn’t want to be the only girl on the trip.

“Come on Y/N!” Sam started “whose side are you on?”

“Maybe we should stop and ask for directions” you finally raised a point.

“Yeah? And where the fuck would we stop for that?” the driver asked “there is nothing around here!”

A sigh escaped your lips and you finally put the book down, looking out the window. Then, suddenly, you pressed your finger on the window, gesturing in the distance “there, it looks like a house”.

Little did any of you know this was the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life.

***

Rubbing your eyes, you looked at the little clock on your nightstand. 11:30 pm it said. It wasn’t that late, yet you couldn’t remember when you fell asleep. Realistically, the only one still awake was Thomas. The thought of that made you freeze in place. Oh yes, you thought to yourself again the summer isn’t the only reason I can’t sleep.

Another sigh left your lips. You didn’t think you would end up in this situation. Spared by a bunch of cannibals for the sole reason you smacked the driver when he started insulting Thomas.

***

“Hello?” the driver’s friend… Jason? Jack? Jeremy? J something. You couldn’t remember. Your name memory was never your strongest suit.

“Hello?” J began knocking again. And a second time. Just before knocking for a 3rd time, a woman opened the door.

“Yes? Who are you?” she spoke.

“Oh hello ma’am!” Sam approached “we are completely lost. We were wondering if you could give us any directions”

Luda Mae looked all of you up and down before speaking “come inside. You will die of the heat before you get any directions”

The boys looked at each other and you looked at Sam. But ultimately decided to follow the lady inside.

***

The memories were still fresh and you were sure they would be for the rest of your life. As you lay on your back, looking around the room, you felt your heart skip a beat as another thought made itself apparent. Thomas. Or better said. Your crush on Thomas. In the past month or so, you tried your best to get close to him. You offered to help with everything and anything he needed. Yet, he did his best to avoid you. You weren’t dumb, you knew exactly why. He was absolutely terrified at the idea you’re just fucking around. Lying. Being nice to him so he wouldn’t kill you.

“For fucks sake Thomas. I was nice to you even before I knew you butchered people for a living” you whispered yelled alone, in your room.

***

“So kids, how did you end up here?” Luda Mae asked, trying to see if you would make a good addition to the Hewitt meat supply. Were you going somewhere? Was someone important waiting for you? What was the chance of people coming to look for you? Those were important questions that needed answers. They couldn’t risk killing someone that could potentially lead the police to them.

As the conversation was unfolding, the driver and J became more and more impatient to leave, and your head cocked when hearing some footsteps. Before you realized it, this massive man was sitting in the doorway, breathing heavily, not saying a word.

“Oh Tommy! Look! We have guests” Luda Mae said, looking at her son. Thomas was tall, a huge man, his apron covered in blood.

“Oh fuck! What the fuck is that? He looks like—” the driver said but didn’t get to finish whatever insults he was going to spew because you smacked him.

“Just shut up. For once. Not everything revolves around you and your daddy’s money. You can’t just speak this way to people” you said, while he looked you completely shocked. No one has ever dared speak to him that way. Let alone slap him.

And that was the moment Luda Mae decided you would be the only one left alive.

***

The floor was cooler than the bed. You stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror. It was so dark you could barely see, only managing to make out your silhouette. You stood there for a while, thinking of what you should do.

You liked Thomas from the moment you saw him. You tried to befriend him but all he did was ignore you. On the occasions he actually had to interact with you, he looked so tense, like he was on the verge of exploding. You tried to give him space, but it wasn’t really helping. And now you were pacing around your room, unable to sleep because all you wanted was Thomas. The man who killed your “friends”.

What the fuck is wrong with me… he’s a murderer, his whole family is crazy.

Yes and so are you. I mean, you’re not running. You think he’s hot. This man could dismember you in a heartbeat and you think he is attractive. Talk about fucked up.

You frowned at your own thoughts. Thomas wasn’t a monster. He did what he had to. Yet what was your excuse? Falling for him?

Your heart started racing. Yes, you were falling for him.

After what seemed like an eternity, you went out of your room, down the stairs and into the living room. You stopped in front of the basement stairs and listened. Thomas was definitely still down there and it was now or never.

In the basement Thomas was still butchering some meat, not hearing you walk in over the sound of his cleaver. He didn’t like you coming there, he always thought you would judge him, mock him even.

“Thomas” you spoke, your voice making him stop with the cleaver still in the air. He lowered it and turned to you, not saying anything.

“It’s late Thomas. Maybe you should call it a day” you spoke softly, almost afraid to startle him.

You didn’t get a response. Then, he just turned around and continued what he was doing.

This made you frown and it hurt a little. Maybe he was not liking you as much as you liked him. Maybe he didn’t like you at all. However this couldn’t be further from the truth. He did like you. A lot. Which is why he was so scared to be around you.

You bit your lip, a little too hard, and decided to approach him. The second your hand touched his arm, Thomas completely froze. His body was incredibly tense and all he managed to do was look at you.

“Did I do something to upset you?” you tilted your head “you always seem to ignore me. I’m sorry if I upset you at all”.

Thomas’s wide widened. You were apologizing to him? What for? You thought he was mad at you? But how could he? He grunted back at you. In the beginning it was very difficult to understand him, but now you could make up the words he was saying. He said no.

“Well then what is it?” you pressed him, gently rubbing his arm. His eyes looked like they could come out of his head, immediately shifting his gaze away from you, almost shaking.

“Thomas, Tommy, oh no” you reached for his other hand which was still tight around the cleaver. Gesturing for him to let it go, you managed to turn him so he’d face you. “You’re ok. Everything is ok” you said, looking at him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. I’m sorry. I will go upstairs” you gave him a bit of a sad smile and turned to walk away. Yet, you didn’t get to take two steps before he stopped you. As you turned to him, he gave you another grunt. Stay. This one meant stay.

Both of you were blushing. Your brave girl facade paled the moment you felt his hand around your arm. Compared to him, you were incredibly tiny and for that, he treated you as if you were made of glass. Because to him, you were.

You stepped in front of him, both of you looking at each other. You learned to be gentle with him, maybe even more gentle than he was with you. Because unlike you, he never had people not be terrified of him.

Smiling, you cupped his face in your hands, which caught him off guard, but he didn’t stop you. For whatever reason, you were here, you didn’t try to run away, and you were kind to him. Before he knew it, he was leaning into your touch.

“Tommy?”

He opened his eyes, waiting for you to continue.

“I really like you, Thomas”

His now open eyes were widened, staring at you, almost looking through you, waiting to see any shred of dishonesty. But there was none. You were genuine. He then couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with you. How could you like him? No. He didn’t care. You liked him. And he was going to take it.

He didn’t realize some time passed without giving you an answer, which caused you to mumble another apology. He, however, didn’t let you finish. You soon found yourself in a hug. A very tight hug. Which you happily reciprocated.

After pulling away, you both looked at each other and without much of a second thought, you pulled the other into a kiss. It was reckless and full of built up frustrations on both parts. You were the first to pull away.

“Thomas.. it’s difficult to kiss you with that mask on”

He didn’t say anything and looked away. He didn’t want to show you. There was finally something he had and showing you his face might ruin it. He grunted a no.

“Please..” you pleaded while cupping his face again.

He damned himself for being so weak around you. You looked sad and a little disappointed. He let out a huge sigh and slowly took off his mask, letting it fall on the floor and completely avoiding your gaze. Whatever disgusted face you made, he didn’t want to see. Only if he looked to see it was not disgust but love.

“Fuck me you’re handsome” was all you said before pulling him in and kissing him again. He looked like a deer in headlights, but quickly melted into your kiss, picking you up and placing you on his workbench.

Your legs were wrapped around him, your hands pulling at his hair while he was tightly holding you by your waist. You felt his erection press against you, so you pushed yourself closer to him, which caused Thomas to grunt and moan into the kiss.

Thomas was the one to pull away this time, spending some time admiring you. Slowly, you started to unbutton his shirt “you can help me with mine if you want” you said a little flustered.

He didn’t need to be told twice. Once you felt his excitement, you knew Thomas was coming out of his shell. Soon enough yours and his shirts were thrown on the floor, and you were making out on the cold and hard workbench. You didn’t care, you also didn’t care that his grips wound leave bruises. You just wanted him. He cupped your breast, gently squeezing, earning himself a moan from you and the confirmation that he is doing it right.

“Please Tommy” you whined between kisses, tugging at his belt.

He wanted to so bad. But what if he hurt you? He had no what what he was doing. But how could he resist you? His whole body was shaking, you were begging him to have sex with you. Him. He pulled away from the kiss and quickly undid his belt and pants, making himself moan as he pulled his cock out. Your heart skipped a beat seeing Thomas naked in front of you. You look off your underwear and pull him into another kiss.

You didn’t think much before starting to palm his length, causing him to moan into your mouth. Thomas started thrusting as you were stroking him. He could cum just like that, but you wanted more. And he did too.

As your back rested on the cold table, Thomas climbed on top of you, neither daring to break the kiss. You couldn’t even wrap your legs around him, a detail he found really cute. He pulled away from the kiss only to look at your expression again. Was this really ok? Is this really what you wanted? You looked so beautiful and so turned on. Rubbing yourself against his erection was all the confirmation he needed before slowly starting to push his cock into you.

Feeling him inside you completely knocked the air out of you, immediately kissing him again, moaning into his mouth. Your figure, your voice, your shaking body were making Thomas go feral. His grunts on the other hand made your whole stomach feel hot. Thomas was thrusting into you, firmly holding your waist with one hand and supporting himself up with the other. Your arms were wrapped around his back, face buried into his neck, trying to muffle your moans.

He was hitting all the right spots, causing your mind to go blank and your nails to dig into his skin. Once his voice became shakier, you knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Oh fuck…” you moaned and he responded by thrusting even harder. It was almost as if your every moan was making Thomas go more feral.

His rhythm was becoming more erratic, signaling that he was getting closer.

“It ok Tommy” you said between moans “I want you. Fill me up, please Tommy”.

Saying that was enough to push him over the edge. After a few more thrusts he came with a low, guttural moan, completely intoxicated by you.

You were both panting and looking at each other afterward. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Were you a dream? No. You were there, smiling at him. Did that mean you were his now? Yes. Most definitely.

He picked you up off of the table, squeezing you close to him. He was still panting and so were you, yet, both happy and finally content.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♰ ₥ØĐɆⱤ₦ ĐɆ₥Ø₦₴ ♰

♰ Pairing: slasher!yunho x chubby!fem!slasher fucker!reader

♰ Genre: smut/dark romance/horror

♰ Summary: With a ruthless, brutal killer on the loose the safe thing to do would be to stay as far away from dangerous men as possible. But you've never been the kind of girl to play it safe and when danger comes in the form of a man like Yunho, how's a girl to stay away?

♰ Word Count: 3.4k-ish

♰ Warnings: Yunho's a literal serial killer, neither of you die but someone does, sorta vivid description of a limb being chopped off, voyeruism in a way, slasher fetish, sadism, masochism, dom daddy Yunho, choking, restriction of movement, a lil nipple play, penetrative sex, sex covered in blood, dirty talk, scratching, hickeys, other forms of marking, creampie, manhandling, pet names (baby, princess, good girl), you're both kinda psychos...obviously.

♰ A/N: I'd like to say, "Oh, I wrote this because Halloween is coming up!" but, no, I didn't. I'm just a slasher fucker, okay? A part of this was inspired by one of my favorite horror movies and if you can guess it then let's get married. Love you forever.

On a side note, thank you @dawn-iscozy for suggesting Yunho for this. I didn't regret that decision for a solitary minute.

There’s a killer on the loose. A brutal, wicked man who stalks the night preying upon unsuspecting victims. Some say he only goes after those he perceives as having done something wrong. His own perverse way of balancing the scales, righting the wrongs that the cops don’t have the balls to fix.

Others say it doesn’t matter who you are or what you do. Your chances of being butchered are all the same, sinner or saint. One thing’s for sure, once he has his sights set on you not even god himself can save you from the fate that awaits. You’re gone in the blink of an eye, never to be seen again. At least not in one piece. 

You’ve heard the warnings a thousand times over but none of them struck fear into your heart. On the contrary, you have quite the erotic fascination with his art as he calls it in the letters he leaves behind. There’s something about what he does that taps into a fetish for danger that you dare not tell another living soul about. You want to play with fire, scorch the tips of your fingers in his flames. That’s how you ended up here, straddling the lap of a man who claims to be the killer your sick little heart yearns for. 

You met at a club. The kind where people go to indulge their wildest fantasies, no matter how depraved. You were wandering around alone in a tight latex mini dress that fit the richness of your curves like a glove. You had your hair pinned up the way you do now, waterfalls of curls spilling down to frame your face. Expertly applied black lipstick adorned your kissable lips, drawing men in enough that they’d lose their minds thinking of all the things that pretty mouth could do. The man beneath you was among them. 

He spotted you from across the room, your figure bathed in red neon light as you sat at the bar plotting your next move. You let him buy you a few drinks, loosening you both up enough that secrets began to spill as freely as the vodka in your glass. “I wanna know if I tell you a secret, will you keep it?” the dark haired man whispered in your ear, a hand hovering dangerously close to your inner thigh. You swore that you would, hand over your heart. And that’s when he confessed. Your clear fascination with the man known as the Seoul Slasher had prompted him to reveal himself to you. 

You couldn’t believe it. A real live serial killer, an absolute monster, so hypnotized by you he was nearly drooling down your cleavage. Going against every self preservation tactic they taught you in school, you invited him back to your place for a bit of fun. An offer he excitedly accepted. For a man whose entire modus operandi is control, he was more than happy to relinquish it to you. In no time you had him spread out on your bed, arms and legs handcuffed to the bed frame. 

The entire room’s dark save for the flickering wicks of a few candles sprinkled about the room. You run a hand down his bare chest, sharp nails nicking at his tattooed flesh. He hisses at the sting, grinding his hips up against your core to add some pleasure to the pain.

You let out a giggle, fingers teasing the waist of his pants, “Tell me how you did it.” You flash your doe eyes, tightening your plush thighs around his hips. 

“How’d I do what?” he asks, far too preoccupied with your body to hone in on your words. 

“Those last two guys you killed. I wanna know every gory detail. You can tell me while I ride your cock.”

Your words certainly aren’t falling on deaf ears. He heard you loud and clear. He takes a calculated pause before providing you with a less than satisfying answer. “I used a butcher knife. Chopped them up real easy. Some of my best work I’d say.”

“Oh” you pout, shoulders dropping. You fold your arms across your chest, your disappointment hanging heavy in the air. “You really shouldn’t lie, you know? It’s a nasty habit.”

“Lie?” he scoffs, a nervous smile creeping across his face. His deception has failed and he doesn’t have enough brain cells to save this sinking ship. “I’m not lying, babe. I’m telling you. I used a butcher knife.”

You point an accusatory finger at him, applying pressure right between his eyes. “Dirty, dirty, liar” you sing, “You aren’t the Seoul Slasher.”

“And how would you know?” he asks, unjustly offended at the fact that you aren’t stupid enough to buy his bullshit. 

You lean in close, the warm flames of the candles reflecting in your eyes like hellfire. “Because I’m already fucking him and he’s not too happy about you going around pretending to be him. It’s just bad manners.” 

His smile grows more strained, his nervous laughter tickling the tip of your nose. He can’t tell if you’re serious or not but this is getting a little weird. Even for him. You watch him for a moment before erupting in soft, sweet laughter that mocks him. Reaching underneath your pillow you pull out a gag and shove it right into his mouth, shutting him up for the first time tonight. 

“Baby, I’m done playing now!” you call out like a housewife announcing that dinner’s ready. 

You sit back up, climbing off of him, and skip your way over to the dresser on the other side of the room. You hop up, feet giddily swinging back and forth to the tune of heavy footsteps descending the hallway. The man’s eyes dart over to the closed bedroom door, his heart thumping out of his chest. You can make out a few muffled protests but you dare not take it out. There’s nothing he can say that interests you now. Not that it ever did. 

When your best friend first told you that a guy at the club was going around claiming to be the Slasher, you couldn’t believe your ears. Especially not when the real one was sleeping peacefully beside you. Further investigation proved that your best friend had been telling the truth so he had to be dealt with. Then another popped up and another. This one will make for the 4th and you must admit, as annoying as identity theft is for your boyfriend, you get a kick out of luring them here. 

They always start out so cocky but once the gag’s in and those footsteps come, getting closer and closer at an agonizing pace, they’re not so confident anymore. At first they freeze up just like the corpse they’re soon to be. The shock does need a few seconds to set in. And then they panic, screaming through the gag and tugging at their bindings, their bodies writhing like a fish out of water. This one’s no different than the others. You can guess his next move like a film you’ve watched a dozen times and all of it’s in vain. 

Sweat slicks his brow as the door creaks open and your face lights up like the Fourth of July. You breathe a sigh of relief. There he is. You’ve only been apart for hours but it feels like an eternity. A tall figure steps out of the shadows into the candlelight, revealing a handsome man in tailored black pants and a black button up you pressed yourself. His sleeves are rolled up, tucked just below the elbow where a pair of long black latex gloves begin. He spares the unfortunate soul strapped to the bed a passing glance before approaching you. He leans forward, palms flat on the dresser, caging you in. 

“Did I do okay?” you question innocently, always hungry for the praise he never fails to feed you. 

Yunho nods, gloved fingers stroking your soft cheek, “Oh, my good girl. You did more than okay. What would I do without you?”

Taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, he tilts your head up, capturing your lips in a kiss that would soak your panties if you were wearing any. He takes a deep breath as he pulls away, not wanting to but knowing that time is of the essence.

“Did he touch you?” Yunho’s jaw tenses, gloved hands flexing to warm up for the night’s events. 

You peek around him to check in on the dark haired man. His face is wet with tears and he’s sobbing all over your new gag. You pray he hasn’t pissed himself. You’re not in the mood to have to buy a new mattress again.

You look back to your boyfriend and nod. “In the car he put his hand on my thigh.” 

“Thank you for telling me, baby,” Yunho says, kissing you on the forehead. He turns around, eyes darkening as he approaches the foot of the bed. “I’ll start with his hands.” 

Kneeling down, he slides a large case from underneath the bed and pops it open to reveal his tools. The spread is a pristine assortment of autopsy tools, not a lowly butcher knife in sight. He delicately runs his fingers over them, settling on the fine toothed bone saw. Your gaze never leaves him as he rounds the bed, aligning the sharp teeth of the saw with what you’ve come to know as the ulna. The bone right on his inner forearm. 

Yunho grinds the saw against it and the man’s arm tears open, tattered pieces of flesh splintering off to the side as he carves his way through tough tendons. Blood gushes from the man’s arm, drenching the brand new sheets in a river of crimson. Yunho’s movements are precise and purposeful. The saw taps bone as the body below him convulses violently, the pain beyond anything you can imagine or ever care to. 

Your boyfriend pauses, glancing over at you, and you know it’s about that time. You open one of the drawers beside you, fishing out your phone and a pair of over ear headphones. You sync them up, hitting play on your favorite song, and smile lovingly back at him.

He can’t be as brutal when he knows you’re listening. It’s one of few things about his profession he’s never quite been able to bring himself to expose you to. Even with the man’s cries muffled, being dismantled brings sounds out of someone that could give the most vile person nightmares. You can watch all you want but you won’t hear them.

It’d be easy to say that you weren’t like this before you met him. You were a sweet, delicate flower and this charming psychopath came along, corrupting your young soul. But a girl doesn’t get wet watching her boyfriend dismember people because she had her purity corrupted.

You were never innocent, you’d simply presented yourself as such. Yunho just freed you from the prison of feeling guilty about what got you off. Power. Not being at the mercy of anyone. Yunho treats you like a princess. You’re never left wanting for anything. Your every desire is satisfied. So what if your Prince Charming comes with a body count? Nobody’s perfect. 

Yunho makes quick work of the body. After the slice to his second arm the man’s already at death’s door and the severing of his knees puts the final nail in the coffin. Yunho tosses the body parts to the ground like the limbs of an old doll. Breathless and blood soaked as he licks splatters of scarlet from his lip, he goes in for another cut.

You’re the only other thing he looks at like he does his work. The excitement of the kill is borderline orgasmic, dopamine coursing through his veins with every gruesome cut. Once he starts he has to keep going, chasing his high until it’s finished and the body’s nothing more than scattered pieces of an impossible puzzle. 

Shoving the torso to the floor, he steps back to catch his breath, waving to get your attention. You slip your headphones off, setting them down to navigate the landmine of limbs and entrails to reach your love. 

“You need some water, Yunie?” you ask, throwing your arms around him. The blood weighing down his clothes sticks to your arms, cool against your skin. It used to feel a bit strange but after a few times you’ve come to find it refreshing like a cool shower on a hot day. 

Yunho shakes his head, a dazed look in his eyes. Usually the adrenaline begins to die down after that final cut but it’s only getting more intense. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he salivates over you like a man on the brink of starvation. “No, I need you. Right now.” 

His lips crash into yours at a thousand miles per hour and you don’t even attempt to stop him. Why would you? Bloody gloves cling to your dress, stripping you of the material. You rip his shirt open, sending buttons raining down onto the slippery hardwood floor. Yunho’s hands ravenously explore your body as you rid him of his pants, painting your plush figure in blood like a canvas. 

Attempting to feast upon your body through gloves is as close to torture as he’s ever come so he tears them off, groaning in delight as his bare hands sink into your pillowy ass. He picks you up, tossing you back on the bed, your breasts bouncing marvelously as you land.

You grin watching your boyfriend stare down at you like an absolute animal. His body’s everything dreams are made of, his flawless, rigid cock already leaking in anticipation. You spread your thighs, teasing him with the arousal dripping from your entrance. Bringing two fingers between your legs, you stroke them between your lips, spreading yourself open for him.

“You want it?” you moan, back arching as you pinch your sensitive clit. 

Yunho positions himself between your legs, palming his cock above a pussy that’s clenching wildly at the ghost of what could be. He places a hand on your thigh, admiring the view. You in a sea of blood toying with yourself for his pleasure. What a sight to behold.

“You aren’t teasing me are you?” he asks, gripping your thigh tighter. His voice is low and rough, feral in every way. 

You bring your slick fingers up to the head of his cock, coating it on your juices. “And what if I am?”

You motion to get up, your brain set on tasting his cock on your tongue, but Yunho’s quicker than you, grabbing your wrists and pinning your arms over your head. His free hand wraps around your neck, the veins of his arms pulsing as he applies the right amount of pressure to leave you breathless but not in pain. 

“Do you want it?” He bumps his cock against your slit, missing on purpose to drag it between your folds. Your body shudders as much as it can with his full weight on you. 

“Mmhmm” you hum, knowing he won’t hurt you but loving that you’re completely at his mercy. 

“You know that’s not enough, baby” he smiles, squeezing your throat tighter, “I need to hear it, princess. Tell me you want it. Beg for daddy’s cock.”

He presses his throbbing tip to your entrance but this time he arches into you, giving you the head and nothing more. The stretch of that alone is disorienting, a wave of heat rushing through you. Releasing his hold on  your throat, he brings his lips to yours, parting them to taste the desperate pleas that spill out. 

“I want you to fuck me, Yunie. I’m so needy for your cock. I have been all night” you whine and his tongue traces your lips. You taste delicious. He inches into you, feeding you a little more then stopping. A little more then stopping. And your body jumps with every motion, pitiful sounds pouring from your lips onto his. 

“Fuck me” you beg, an undeniable brokeness in your tone, “Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck…” Your voice trails off, eyes rolling back as he bottoms out. He lifts off of you, still holding your arms in place above your head, and thrusts into you ever so gently. You clamp down around him tightly enough that it’s hard to move, your pussy's too needy to let go. 

Yunho grins, cupping one of your breasts, “I didn’t know watching me kill got you so hot. You’re sick, you know that?” He pinches your nipple harshly and you squeal, twisting in his hold. 

“I know” you moan, blowing him a kiss, “But so are you.”

“Fuck, I love you” he growls, pulling you under with another dizzying kiss.

His thrusts grow harsher, your warm, spongy walls drawing him in impossibly deeper. His fingers knead the tender flesh of your breast as he brings his tongue down to soak your bud in equal parts blood and spit. Taking the bud between his teeth, he wraps his lip around it, suckling at it without losing his rhythm between your legs. 

“Yunie. So good. So, mmph, aah…” you’re moaning but he gives one particularly hard thrust to your cunt, knocking the words right out of your mouth. 

You want to touch him so badly. To dig your nails into his back while he fucks into you. To run your fingers through his hair, tugging at the deep brown strands as his tongue swirls around your bud.

“Touch” you pout, wiggling your hands. 

Yunho pops your bud free of his lips, licking his way up your breasts, across your heated skin, along your neck, until you’re eye to eye. “Use your words, baby. Tell me what you want.”

“Wanna touch you. Please, daddy” you plead. You’re so helpless. So beautiful.

Yunho watches you squirm, feigning indecision. After an agonizingly long contemplation, he turns your arms loose, the redness on your wrists marking where he held you. Your hands are drawn to him like magnets, scouring every inch of him they can reach just to feel him.

Your nails find his back, digging into the flesh. Yunho buries his face in your neck, moaning at the sensation. “Harder” he whispers, fingers knotting in the sheets beneath you. You dig your nails in deeper, breaking skin, and he’s on the edge of a whimper, the sensation nearly too much for him. 

Slipping an arm around your back, he keeps you flush against him, sinking into you over and over. Your mouth falls open, eyes squeezed closed. You’re saying something but nothing’s coming out. Only whines and moans, the occasional fractured piece of his name.

There’s no bracing yourself for a cock this long and thick. You just have to take it, let it destroy every bit of you until there’s nothing left. A sense of euphoria surges through you and your legs instinctively lock around his waist. 

“That’s it” he coos, fawning over the string of hickeys he’s left on your neck, “Be a good girl and cum for me.” Yunho grabs for your wrists one last time, locking them above your head. He pounds into you so hard the bed creaks, maybe even moves a few inches. “I wanna feel you gushing around this cock.”

Suddenly your breath hitches and your body feels weightless. It’s as if you’re floating above yourself. Watching this gorgeous man fuck you into the mattress like his own personal whore. And you are. You’re more than happy to be. Your senses come back to you in a rush of ecstasy and you’re trembling, crying out as you do exactly as he said. Creaming, gushing, dripping down his length. 

Yunho pulls back, kneeling between your legs to drag his cock out and glide it back in. He goes all starry eyed at the sight of his cock glistening in your cum and soon he’s spilling inside of you. Your needy walls milking his cock of the warm, white liquid that overflows from your delicious pussy.

His hand comes down on your plush belly, enjoying its softness as he feeds you those last few strokes. You’re still moaning weakly when he finishes, laying back on the bed and pulling you on top of him. 

Curled up safe and warm in his arms, you bask in the afterglow, thoughts of the man your boyfriend dismantled little more than a distant thought now. But ultimately it’s difficult to ignore. Especially when your eyes drift up and you notice something dangling in the corner of your eye. 

“Yunie” you say, lightly petting his shoulder. 

Yunho strokes your hair, looking down at you lovingly, “Yes, baby?”

“I think his hand’s still attached to the handcuff.”

[asidian]

Alright. It is time. Buckle up.

Why you should be watching Dead Boy Detectives: the targeted-specifically-at my-readers edition.

Meet the leads, our two ghost boys:

Edwin Payne: Fussy, repressed intellectual type from the Edwardian era. Exceedingly gay for his partner and best friend. Tortured in hell for seventy years on a technicality because he was ritually sacrificed as a prank gone wrong. Endearingly awful at people and dealing with emotions or his own wants.

Charles Rowland: Impulsive, people-pleasing wildcard from the 80s. Heart eyes 24/7 at his best friend but has zero self-awareness. Badly abused by his asshole of a father. Beaten to death because he saved a kid from bullies. Endearingly awful at sorting his own emotions or talking about his problems.

Some highlights:

/slaps hood you can fit so much trauma in these two

Both leads get sobbing breakdowns that happen on screen. The actors are incredible at crying

Both leads get much-needed hugs

The absolute devotion between the two of them. The shared history that lives in their dialogue and how they work together like people who have been each other's Most Important Person for literal decades

I mean, I'm talking in-canon Orpheus and Eurydice reference level of devotion here

The protective way Charles puts himself physically between Edwin and damn near every threat in the show

They're just fun together. Their interactions and banter and how they work as a team is a delight

Their shared plot arc literally involves them learning to talk to each other and communicate more so that they can be there for one another about their respective issues

The symbolism. God. They are metaphorically and literally one another's light in the darkness

But what about stuff that isn't the main duo? Just wait, there's more:

This show is unabashedly, unapologetically queer. It's there in the text and the subtext. The whole show lives and breathes it

So many good, complex, well-written female characters. The Bechdel test gets blown straight out of the water in episode one and they never look back. Headstrong amnesiac psychic learning to be a better person! Quirky meta commentary matchmaker! Cynical lesbian butcher! Delightfully sadistic witch! They are all amazing.

[audience voice] But I'm here for the hurt/comfort. How can I whump ghosts? Worry not, my friends. Canon has you covered. Not only are there ways, there are ways that happen on-screen. The hurt/comfort and rescue are also on-screen. Yes, it is amazing

Absolute chaos, really cool supernatural cases and creatures, a surprising amount of humor, charming writing, and a cast that absolutely nails it on the acting and chemistry

There is an extremely suggestive trickster type who is also the king of cats. He's a cat in human form. He hits on Edwin nonstop. Charles gets blisteringly jealous

All of the leads have well-thought-through, fully developed, emotional character arcs. They're all messy and flawed and sometimes lash out in their pain, but at turns can be incredibly supportive and kind and loyal

A character who is a crow who is also a boy, who is tortured by his witch/creator and also is crushing hard on one of the leads

There are so many incredible details in the setting, costume choices, prop decisions, etc. that you only catch after you know what it's laying the groundwork for. The level of care that went into this show is phenomenal

It's only eight episodes. The time investment barrier to entry could not possibly be lower

Anyway, tl;dr, if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should give this show a watch.

Dead Boy Detectives is well worth your time. It's easily my favorite show in years.

[hiding-under-the-willow]

I am being brave and wandering into your ask box so you can ramble about the ghost au. It looks neat and I'm so curious owo

YAY YEAH YIPPEE!!!

Okay I'm just gonna try and synthesize all of the random notes I've written in the last few days into something of a vaguely coherent list lol

Grian and Joel are roommates looking for a new flat when they get the call that Grian has inherited a house, they very impulsively and foolishly decide to keep the thing that is way too large and far too run down for the two of them to handle, the house is so incredibly haunted, normal bbc ghosts plot ensues

Grian is the one who almost dies and ends up being able to see ghosts. Mumbo is the one who pushes him out the window. Which is ironic bc Mumbo was very much not pro killing the new inhabitants of the house when the other ghosts were scheming ways to get rid of them.

Okay so ghost facts.

Bdubs is obviously highly based on Robin the caveman, I imagine him being slightly closer to the end of the paleolithic period than Robin. I think he may or may not have had some weird cult stuff going in. Weird cult leader caveman guy worshiping the sun and moon. Yes the cloak is real moss. There's bugs in that thing

Wels and Hels killed eachother in a duel, right on the property line, which now neither of them can cross in death. So now both of them is just stuck on either side of the fence seething about it for the rest of time. I like how ridiculous and arbitrary the ghost property line rules are in ghosts, so I find this incredibly funny. Hels is the guy Black Knight stories are based on

Ren wasn't actually a king, he was some type of noble who tried to declare himself king of a specific area, hence the beheading. Whooooooo let's go treason!!

Cleo was not doing actual witch craft at the time she was accused of it, she was however probably doing other illegal and vaguely fucked stuff. Mayhaps that's why she was accused, someone wanted her out of the way and that was an easy and surefire way to get rid of her

Keralis. My silly silly little guy. Our Kitty stand in. I just thought the idea of him dying from pufferfish poisoning was really funny considering him and XB's whole thing. I wanna have XB around, I can't decide if I want him to be a marine biologist of some kind who drowned on the next property over that keralis talks to over the fence, or if he's just like a grounds keeper who takes care of the lake next door that keralis is parasocially obsessed with lol

Beef. Beef my beloved. Period piece romance novel protagonist looking mf <3 He grew up in a family of butchers, became an impressionist painter instead of joining the family business. Focused a lot on pastoral scenes, especially stuff involving farm animals and especially cows. His family thought his career choice was kind of useless and frivolous, his artist colleagues thought his choice of painting subject was kind of frivolous. That's where he got the nickname 'Beef', now it's all anyone remembers him by, AND the fucking paints killed him 😔

Scar!!! The scammiest fucking traveling salesman on the planet. Death of a Salesman death of the American dream type vibes on that guy. He's gotta pay his medical bills somehow man, can't even really blame him for all the grifting. He probably should've been more careful with who he was scamming though, he maybe pissed off the wrong guy (do not scam mobsters! They will have someone kill you about it!)

Xisuma, given the greatest honor of being my Captian stand in. He was a sharp shooter, until his eye got fucked up and he lost his good aim. They shipped him off to the country side to work in 'intelligence', he takes his job very seriously despite this obviously just being somewhere they put him to not have to deal with him. Seriously enough in fact to discover a spy in their ranks! Just in time for that spy to kill him real bad. Damn.

Joe my absolutely beloved. Pat stand in but not quite. He was a popular radio host, he did a lot of volunteer work as a voice/performer for hire. He gets recruited to do some announcer work for a scouting event. There is, mayhaps, a much more. Uh. DIY. Scouting event happening on the next property over. There is an accident involving some homemade fireworks next door (cubfan. when I get you cubfan.), the fireworks going off scares some kid in the middle of fucking around with a bow, Joe gets shot, you can assume the rest. Cub is ghosting around next door cause of the fireworks accident if it makes you feel any better lol

Mumbo my stupid nervous guy. Ran a large tech startup in the late 90s, should not have been given that kind of power over a company. Accidentally did like. A lot of finance crime. Found out about said finance crime and immediately had a fucking heartattack and died from the panic. My cringe fail businessman I love you

Yeah yeah okay so neighbor ghosts. Cub, Hels, maybe XB, and Gem.

Etho is their weird annoying neighbor, he can also see ghosts, but it'll take awhile for everyone to figure that out.

In the same way Grian can see ghosts bc Mumbo tried to kill him, Etho can see ghosts bc Hels tried to kill him (haven't decided how exactly that went down yet)

I've been thinking about what to do with the basement ghosts and I think I want to put team zits down there.

Uh. Other human cast. Jimmy is around! He kind of fills an Obi type role, silly friend who is just kind of around a lot. I think I wanna have Lizzie as like a local barista Joel has a crush on. The ghosts get in his way every time he tries to make a move on her.

Obviously a lot of the ghosts aren't strict one to one fill ins for the original show's ghosts. Ren and Beef are both kind of drawing elements from both Thomas and Humphrey, Wels and X are both kind of drawing from Fanny and Cap, Scar and Mumbo both kind of combine to make up Julian's character. So on and so forth. All of the stuff with Etho and his property's ghosts is obviously all stuff I just did cause I thought it was fun lol

Oh yeah! Ghost powers! Okay obvious stuff, Bdubs has Robin's ability to fuck with lights, Cleo has the same burning smell as Mary, Mumbo can push stuff like Julian. Non obvious stuff. I want Joe to be able to be heard through like radios and phones and such. Hels has to have something to have almost killed Etho but I've yet to decide what that is. If Hels has something I think it would be funny to then have Wels also have the same power, but like. Weaker. So he can be pissy about it. Obviously.

Uh yeah that's all i can think of off the top of my head

Anyways, yeah!!! That's the basic constructions of this au. I had this idea like 3 days ago and have. Obviously thought about it a lot in that time lmao

You can't put two pieces of media in front of me and not expect me to go insane about it <3

[lasarusbird]

I watched the 1992 Dracula movie prepared for the entire Mina/Dracula plot as well as the butchering of Lucy so instead my mind kept focusing on everything else about the story itself...

For example... So Vlad hates God because. His wife who we meet for 10 seconds killed herself over a misunderstanding, and he gets told that this means she is in hell. He has no proof of that (or even that it was a suicide?) beyond the doctrine he was already fighting for but he's now on an I Hate God Now and then I Will Feed On His Creation As Revenge tantrum specifically over this.

And what does he do when he concludes that his wife is back? That he was wrong to assume that she's in hell? That he was wrong about God, given that apparently God reincarnated her?

No, it's "the powers of time" that got altered by "destiny". Yet it's all from his merit, somehow: "I crossed oceans of time to find you (do ignore the three new wives in my harem)". He still goes "Look what your God has done to me!" even though he. You know. Absolutely self-inflicted it. And the movie wants me to sympathize with him for the divine injustice set upon him. lol. lmao even. spare me.

[a-driftamongopenstars]

alright, i finally finished Dragon Age the Veilguard.

tldr; 3/10. I didn't like it.

If you enjoyed the game and would rather keep enjoying it, please don't click the read more section as what follows is rather critical.

I can finally sit down with my thoughts and put them together in a more cohesive structured review, touching on most things that I wanted to address. I'll start with positives and then focus on the negatives.

Warning, this is VERY long.

Overall, I had a neutral to negative impression of DatV, which got worse by the end of the game. It had some good moments, but they were entirely unexplored and underutilized, suffering from bad writing. While the game itself is rather pretty, it didn't outweigh the dialogues, the stories and the lore butchering that took place.

1. Environment and visuals. 8/10.

I think Veilguard is a very beautiful game. I enjoyed exploring the corners of this new world, the little bits of environment design and storytelling that it had. It felt magical, certain locations were mesmerizing! I couldn't stop staring at the valley where you go to with Harding, the carcass of a titan.

2. Combat. 9/10.

I love flashy combat, I enjoy hack and slash, so until the very end of the game I was having most fun in combat. Yes there was repetitiveness but I tried to combat (hehe) it with changing my abilities and weapons every now and then. I liked combos and I liked timed parries. Enemy tactics got a bit boring by the end, but a few enemies still surprised me and challenged me.

.... That's where positives end. Now on to the negatives.

1. Characters. 2/10.

I don't understand what happened. Almost all the characters in this game were tuned down to a two-dimensional personality, "good" and "bad" - and absolutely no nuance. This happened not only to the villains, but to the different NPCs and even our companions. Their interests got narrowed down to single points of interest (Lucanis and coffee being a prime example to me), their motivations got watered down.

This is not what I expect from a Bioware game. I want to be challenged, I want to dislike characters or approve of their choices. I like characters who are messy and complex and don't always have their shit together.

I like villains who may have other reasons for their choices, other than "ba ha ha, I am so evil and I will do evil things". Where is Alexius who sold himself to the Elder one, just so he could save his beloved son? Where is Samson, forsaken by the Chantry and turned to red lyrium with his addiction? Where is Calpernia, misguided in her choices, just to free the slaves of Tevinter?

Where are the slaves of Tevinter anyway?? That's another topic.

2. Rook. 4/10.

On one hand, I liked playing Rook. They were stoic but with a humorous side, ready to get the job done, compassionate to other people.

The problem is that it's the only Rook you can really play. The protagonist is set in their ways and their dialogues and there is very little to roleplay. Rook really does feel like a gentle manager, trying to get everyone to play along nicely, while providing therapy every now and then, and is excluded from the majority of friendly interactions with other people. That awkward glance everyone gives you after their banter is embarrassing. The way you can third wheel people, the way the game actively offers you to leave a couple of animated conversations between other people - why even include those? Why not make Rook a part of the 'team'?

I did like Rook's dynamic with Solas. They got to see a different side of him, one that's not presented heavily in Inquisition. But like everything else, it felt surface level and underexplored.

3. Story arc. 2/10.

I am left unsatisfied with the story. The pacing threw me off so much nearly every quest, it was hard to stay on track. From "we need to solve this NOW" to "actually, let's all slow down and deal with our problems", the plot's priorities were all over the place. We kept hearing about the gods and their destructive oppression, but we saw surprisingly little of it. Yes, there was the Blight, yes there were Venatori and the Antaam, but they felt more like a video game fodder and dressing rather than a part of the story.

Not to mention that all of those things made little sense to me. Why would the gods align with aforementioned factions? Why would the aforementioned factions align with the elven gods? In-game explanation was not enough for me, it did not make sense. Not with the established lore in the previous games.

I also did not enjoy the ending. While the idea of Solas binding himself to the Veil is good and does make sense, what was suggested as the good ending (inviting Mythal to deal with Solas essentially) actually left me feeling awful. I sent a man, full of regrets and self-loathing, on a lonely journey to figure himself out. That... did not sit right with me at all. Neither did the fact that Northern Thedas, supposedly the point of the gods' attack, gets to live and flourish, while Southern Thedas is dying of starvation and blight. That is UNHINGED to me.

4. Music. 1/10.

There was no music. I remember one track. It was not memorable whatsoever and I can't believe they hired Hans Zimmer to do exactly nothing. Just wow.

5. Lore. ???/10.

And here is the worst offender. What was done with Dragon Age lore is unacceptable. I was doing a head-in-hands every five minutes. This was a slap in the face of so many fans who enjoyed the three prior games and delved into deep, interesting lore of various races, countries, cultures and religions. Veilguard showed a big middle finger to all that.

Everyone has already touched upon the sanitization of different factions. From the suddenly slaveless Tevinter to found family Antivan Crows, everything has been scrubbed clean and made sweet and palatable and "good".

The Dalish clans have been removed from existence as we know them. The Antaam left the Qun? Don't even get me started on that. The Chantry has no influence in this game? Really? The Chantry? The biggest religion in Thedas? The one that we know has heavy presence in the Anderfels, the Black Divine in Tevinter? That Chantry?

I think it really hit me how disrespectful the game is during the quest of saving the Dalish elves, where apparently Elgar'nan's Venatori, uplifted to be his servants and chosen people, were trying to sacrifice them. It's a gross and oddly telling idea that the ancient Elven god turned to a faction of racist mages to sacrifice elven people. I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Just how much are you going to shaft these people? Mindboggling.

There is a lot more I have to say on this specific topic, and I probably will later, but the idea is this.

6. Romances. 2/10.

Whoever said this is a game with romance lied so hard. So hard. The romance was atrocious. From the badly written flirting to the lack of romantic scenes (I romanced Davrin), to the poorly timed and awkward 'final' romance moment... It was atrocious. I felt no connection between Rook and Davrin beyond what game was telling me. My actual companions got more screen time with their romances than me and my LI.

Damn, even Evka and Antoine, my single most beloved NPCs in this game, had more romance going on that my Rook.

---

All in all, Veilguard was a massive let down. After having enjoyed the first 3 games many times over, with multiple playthroughs, I was so excited to see how the story of the Inquisition, of the elves, would end. When I saw the first trailer for VG, I knew I would never get to see it. When I played the game, I was left with disappointment and disdain.

I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this game, genuinely. I'm sure there's something to find for anyone, but it was not for me. Nor was it for many other people. It was a let down. I feel like I'll never get the conclusion I wanted - so I'll have to write my own I guess.

I have more thoughts on this game that I might be sharing, but for now this is the review I wanted to write. Thanks for reading!

[desideriumwriter]

Anyone But You | Chapter 10

Chapter Summary: A seemingly good night at the Yule Ball goes wrong and Reader absolutely loses it at Fred.

Pairing - Fred Weasley x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Category - enemies to lovers + hurt/comfort

Content Warnings - cursing, arguing, yelling

Word Count - 2.4k

A/N: I know I knowww the second task was in february and the third was in june but we’re gonna change it up and say they were in january AND february instead, stay with me now, it’s for the plot i promise

Series Masterlist | F.W Masterlist | Previous | Next | Navi

Katie and Angelina had come back just minutes after you had found your dress in pristine condition. Their exhausted looks from whatever Hooch made them do were replaced by shock.

“Is that- You were able to fix it?” Angelina blurted out, there was a noticeable amount of disbelief in her tone.

“Not me. I didn’t fix it.” You muttered, still looking at the clean fabric. “The twins…did.” You shook your head in disbelief, ignoring how the two girls gave each other knowing stares and smiles.

Katie then pleaded for you to leave the rest up to her, you did. And of course, by some miracle, was able to set you up with a Durmstrang boy for the ball, literally the morning of the event.

It was awkward being set up with a total stranger, but a date is a date.

Plus, you’d never have to talk to whoever this boy is again after this. Hopefully.

It was awkward enough meeting him. You had butchered the poor boys name to his face within the first minute of meeting each other. He had said yours perfectly through his thick accent.

“Poliakoff.” He corrected, you stammered out an apology and he only put up a hand to shush you. “It’s okay. Shall we go in?” He gestured to the entrance doors of the Great Hall when you looked puzzled at him. You nodded and wrapped your arm around his.

It was worse when you finally found where Angelina and Katie were standing with the twins, their dates. The weirded out stares from all of them were unnoticed by Poliakoff, but definitely not by you. It was so pathetically obvious you were just each other’s arm candy.

Poliakoff wasn’t the worst looking guy, but he definitely wasn’t the sharpest, and that seemed to be well-known already.

Even Cedric gave you a befuddled look and nod that said interesting choice when he entered with Cho and all the other selected champions and their dates.

Other than that, the night was going well. You stuck near Katie most of the night, you danced, you cheered and jumped around with the crowd when the band Weird Sisters came out to perform. Katie and you excused yourselves during the band's intermission to go get drinks from the refreshments table, you even were able to talk to Cedric then.

“What on Earth made you choose him?” Cedric gawked as you walked up to the table.

“You know…that is a really great question!” You happily pipped, turning to Katie with a sarcastic smile, “It was Katie's doing, not mine.” Katie scoffed and threw her hands up in defeat.

“Listen, he was the best I could find!” She huffed, crossing her arms in a playful way. “I understand he’s not the smartest but he was one of the better looking Durmstrang boys!”

“Exactly, you got her paired up with a Durmstrang while she's bestfriends with a future Triwizard Tournament winner from Hogwarts.” He grinned, tilting his head in a teasing manner, Katie sighed and shook her head.

“Future winner from Hogwarts.” You nodded slowly as you repeated his words, raising your glass in cheers to him. “Has Cho escaped you yet?” You teased Cedric, not realizing Cho was already making her way over.

Katie nudged you and your eyes went wide, a small amount of embarrassment creeping in when you saw her.

She stopped next to Cedric, letting out a shy wave.

“Cho! You look stunning!” You complimented, hoping to make her feel less tense than she looked. She thanked you, still giving a nervous smile.

“Cedric’s been giving you space to breathe I hope?” You joked.

“Yeah.” She nodded and let out a small laugh, you could see her relax a bit. “Um, you and Fred are having a lot of fun?” She pipped.

“What?” You blurted out. You were confused, honestly confused.

“You came here with Fred, right?” She blankly said, clearly oblivious to your hatred for him.

“Oh, um, no. No, I, uh, I didn’t come here with him. He’s not my date.” You stammered, genuinely surprised she thought that you and him were together.

“Oh! I’m really sorry! I just thought you two had something going on.” She rambled, apologizing more, you played it off with a laugh and shrug.

She then excused herself from the conversation, walking back to the group she was originally in.

“So, your nights been a success?” You let out a heavy breath, looking at Cedric and trying to distract yourself and everyone else from what just happened.

“Oh, it absolutely has. Cho..she…” He trailed off, letting out a happy sigh and looking behind his shoulder at Cho, “She really likes me.” He turned his head back to you with a lovesick grin stuck on his face.

“So, are you and her like…official?” Katie gestured, you looked at her with wide eyes as you nudged her with your elbow, your way of saying don’t be so nosey.

“I’ve got no idea.” Cedric breathed out, “I don’t know how to ask, am I supposed to ask? How am I supposed to?” He talked at such a quick pace, you gave him an apologetic shrug. He was so in love with her, you felt proud? Of him in some weird way.

“Well, I’ve got to get back. You better watch out, Freds been staring you down all night.” He winked and nudged you playfully before walking back to Cho.

He wasn’t lying either, by the time you looked over to where Fred was, he was darting his eyes away from you, going back to nodding at Angelina.

“He’s not wrong. He has been giving you eyes all night.” Katie said as you turned back to her.

“No he hasn’t!” You let out a ‘pfft’ as you waved her off.

“He has.” Katie said, a more serious tone this time. “You just don’t wanna see it. Cho isn’t the only one who thinks you and Fred have something going on behind the scenes.” She sipped her drink.

“You know, I would’ve told Angelina which one was George so you could take Fred.” Katie continued.

“Who thinks that?- Wait, she doesn’t know?” You gaped at her.

“I haven't got the heart to tell her Fred was the one who asked her out. I feel terrible…but I'm praying she’ll figure it out before she makes any moves.” Katie held back a laugh. “Also, plenty of people think that about you and Fred.” She gave you a sympathetic look, you ignored her.

“But what about you and George?” You attempted to switch the topic away from Fred.

“Us? We’re just friends. He clearly has his eyes set on Angelina.” She shrugged, unbothered. “Fred got Angelina, so he just decided to go with me. Anyways, where’s your boy gone off to?” She craned her neck towards the crowd, looking for your date.

You couldn’t remember the last time you saw him. There wasn’t a glimpse of him amongst the crowd.

“I suppose I should go look for him before the slow dancing starts, shouldn’t I?” You sighed, putting down your glass. Katie nodded. She went back into the crowd and you went to go look for your date.

It embarrassingly took ten minutes to find him. After looking through the sea of people in the middle of the room, outside the entrance doors, the staircase, you found him hiding behind a large pillar in an empty hallway. With some Beauxbaton girl. Sticking their tongues down each other's throats.

Neither of them noticed you standing there with a disgusted look, nor when you stormed off back into the Great Hall.

Sulking in a chair at an empty table, you felt stupid for being upset. You didn’t even care for that boy in the first place, but you felt stupid. You felt humiliated. It was embarrassing, being left astray like that, just embarrassing.

You stayed there for the remaining hour of the event. You weren’t sure why you bothered to stay since you were in such a bad mood, most students had left already. There were a few pairs mingling around or slow dancing.

You felt envious, watching Fred dance with Angelina.

You weren’t envious of Angelina, that she was Freds date, or that she got to slow dance with him. You weren’t envious of that, of course not.

You surely were envious that Fred was able to score a date, that he got to have fun until the last hour, and not be abandoned by his date. It hurt. It hurt seeing that. Seeing them. Him.

So, you continued to sit around, resting your head on your hands, staring at the bubbles fizzing in your drink.

“Wow, it’s odd seeing you in that fancy dress.” Freds voice appeared as he stood in front of the table. “Despite being all mopey, you look quite nice.”

“Why are you here? I thought you were with Angelina.” You slowly raised your head to give him a puzzled look.

“I thought she knew I wasn’t George.” He gave an amused look as he nodded behind him, George and Angelina were now slow dancing together, looking much more lovingly at him than she was at Fred. You let out a small amused breath, thinking about what Katie said earlier.

“What’s wrong with you?” He spoke when he noticed your face go back to its inexpressive look.

“Nothing.” You muttered as your eyes darted over to where your now ex-date was dancing with the Beauxbaton, you didn’t mean to point Freds direction to them, giving him a non-verbal answer. Fred clicked his tongue at the sight.

“I knew that geezer wouldn’t be good for you the moment he stepped in with you. Hell, I would’ve been a better date for you, and you hate me.” He sighed and shook his head.

“Yeah, well I didn’t ask for your input.” You muttered.

“I’m just saying.” He lifted up his hands in defense, “You're always holed up on your own, Katie and Angelina are the most people I’ve seen you hang around.” His words made you sit up a bit more, rubbing your arm for comfort, a bit shocked at his words.

“Maybe if you put yourself out there more…you wouldn’t be heartbroken being someone's last resort.” He shrugged, all your movements stopped as you glared at him.

Last resort? Was he fucking serious?

“Excuse me?” You whispered out, he opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off when you stood up.

“Firstly, I was no one's last resort and I am not heartbroken over anyone! Secondly, I don’t hole myself up, I have friends.” You noticed that look in his face, it was a hint of condescending. “And finally, what the fuck is your problem?” You felt your eyes glaze over, you decided to start walking off before the tears came.

“I don’t have a problem! I’m just telling you how it is.” Fred was quick to follow your steps.

"God, you just don’t know when to shut up, do you? Have you always been this insufferable? I swore you were somehow more tolerable when we were younger." You spat, he only let out an amused scoff.

"I reckon what happened is you've just become uptight. People love me, I'm great!" He uncrossed his arms as he followed you up the steps.

“Of course you are! That’s your fucking issue! You’re always great and you’ll always be great.” You stopped where you were on the staircase, whipping around to look at him. You were the one staring down at him this time.

“Everyone loves you and your brother and I can’t see why!” You continued on, “Why doesn’t anyone find you as annoying as I do? Either you’ve got them all under some spell or nobody has the courage to buck up and tell you damn insufferable you are!” Fred blinked back when you pointed your index at him.

“And just because you grabbed me out of the crowd that one night doesn’t mean I have to be your friend or like you! Because all you’ve ever done is make me fucking miserable! With your stupid tricks and pranks! You make people miserable!” The words were like venom spitting off your tongue, you felt awful about it underneath all your rage. Fred looked down and blinked a few more times, like there was something in his eyes.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why’d you even approach me?” You breathed out, your tears were angry and hot. You never realized you were already crying.

“I originally wanted to say that you…” Fred hesitated to speak, opening his mouth and closing it.

“What?” You barked out, you wanted him to say whatever he was going to say so you could finally go back to your bed. Your feet hurt and you felt humiliated, there were already enough eyes from passersby set on the two of you now that you’ve shouted at him.

“That you looked…nevermind. Forget it.” He sniffled and shook his head. “Have a nice night.” He said flatly, turning around and disappearing down a random hallway.

There was a sting that came with his words. You’d never seen this raw version of him. So taken aback, sharing the same bitterness you had towards him. Spitting at you the way you always spat at him.

You’ve struck something in him somewhere in your scolding to see him be actually insulted by what you said.

You let out a breathy sob, you felt almost guilty for it, but you were blind with rage, and he started it. You attempted to swallow back your sobs and keep yourself together until you got back to your dorms, although you were already falling apart, you had already cracked in front of Fred.

Hermione bursted in not long after you, her face matching yours; tear stained with puffy eyes.

“What happened to you?” You accidentally spoke out loud.

“Ron. What about you?” She sniffled.

“Fred.”

“Weasley boys. Can’t give a damn about anybody but themselves.” Hermione muttered, grabbing pajamas out of her drawer before slamming it shut and walking out the room.

Katie’s words rung in your head as you sat in the silent room.

“Cho isn’t the only one who thinks you and Fred have something going on behind the scenes.”

“Plenty of people think that about you and Fred.”

She had to have been exaggerating, no one truly thought that. There was nothing going on “behind the scenes”.

There was nothing but hate for Fred, there was nothing hiding behind your hatred for him.

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