#the millennial jumped out

[thisphantomlife]

Losing my mind over Andrew singing Doo Wop (That Thing)!

[softestepilogue]

y’all keep saying how y’all hope ed becomes redeemable and like who tf cares he did anything wrong lmao. pushing Lucius overboard? hilarious. stranding the crew? hysterical. chopping off iffy’s toes? comedic af. y’all always so worried about a character being redeemable or morally right and it’s exhausting. that’s why modern books are what they are now. boring and lame af. ed is morally gray. he’s always been morally gray. he don’t like killin but he likes maimin and he has anger issues. and he’s hilarious when he does all of it.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[gayfujoshiboygirlfreind]

I just watched an hour long video on the new genres that emerged in the 2010s and I had to do an aesthetic cleanse afterwards (??)

[linzeestylish]

[strawberryyyenthusiast]

Eddie is on tour during July, so Steve decides to join him bc why the hell not. The corroded coffin TikTok page has been consistently getting 30,000 views for each video because their social media manager sucks ass and doesn’t know what the people want from their favorite artists.

But a video of the four guys goofing off goes pretty viral and they jump from 50k followers to 2 million in a week. The social media guy quits and Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Freak all take turns posting videos, which helps them build a shitload of traction.

It’s eddie’s turn to post a video and Steve is in the background with all of his diabetes stuff spread around him. He’s putting on a new cgm onto the back of his arm.

Everyone starts to freak out because people are super uneducated on what diabetes is and they immediately accuse Steve of doing drugs and other nefarious stuff. It gets so bad that they have to disable to comment section on that video.

Eddie comes out with a video a few days later stating:

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend. He has type one diabetes and was just putting on his new dexcom. Stop being assholes. Thank you!”

It’s very short and succinct and people turn eddie’s millennial pause at the beginning into a meme that haunts him forever.

(A week later, Steve has multiple fan pages dedicated to him, which he never sees because he is a grandpa at heart who is scared by social media.)

[danrifics]

good morning i have slept a total of 2 hours here’s my spoiler breakdown for terrible influence antwerp

they start by playing a text to speech voice who welcomes us and the straight boyfriends and the dads (they’re a bit obsessed with the dads i’ll be real) the voice tells us if we film she’s gonna sue are asses. text to speech lady she is an icon

dnp come out and they’re like yo this is cool it’s the first show, you guys are gonna see what we’ve been up to and then they’re like it’s the first show so we can use you guys to decide if we change anything

they they’re like there’s probably people in the audience who don’t really know us so they do a 15 years of dan and phil lore breakdown with dolls of themselves in little set of iconic dnp locations (made by pj and sophie btw) they put these sets in a table in front of a camera and it shows on the big screen, (for 1 section of this the screen doesn’t work for the first part lol) also phil makes the dolls kiss and they also make the dolls hump the breakfast bar cos of course they do

i can’t remember what happens next or maybe it jumps right into the next thing i mention

they play a game show called role model or no-model which is a madlibs style game where you have to decide if the version of dan and phil the audience creates is a role model or not these are compared to real dnp. we had homophobic furry lawyer dan and linguistics dr phil wo has a thing for hamsters. just an fyi for this dan is really good at hearing what the audience is saying and phil is not at all and im pretty sure he made his up cos he couldn’t understand what we wanted

okay so after this iirc they start talking about the youtube landscape and what they’re gonna do after tour and how to keep people entertained and they go on a little adventure through different genres of youtube like minecraft lets plays, vtubers and then they pretend to be mr beast and pretend to give away a bunch of stuff that they don’t have, they cure us of any mental health issues and they cure us from being gay <3

then they decide to have a boxing match cos obvs that���s what youtubers do, they ask us to cheer for whoever they want to win and it has cool intro to it! i’ll be honest this boxing match goes on for entirely too long like it spans the end of the first half and the start of the second but they have like choreographed fighting and OMFG it’s very gay and like suggestive and they do many times look like they’re gonna have sex 😂 like one of phils moves is to hit dan with his ass while dan is holding him from behind so… yeah. anyway dan thought he won ours and then phil knocked him out with a tv, as he should!! also before they end the first half they’re having an insult match where phils tells dan hes gonna burn his house down only for dan to say they live in the same house and i was dying it was so funny, phil also calls dan a dickhead and this is where he also calls him a cunt and that’s how the first half ends. oh also phil has a fake 6 pack on and that’s the $300 dollar silicone btw

okay second half after dan is dead they have a sincere moment and then they’re like you guys keep telling us you want load of long unedited content and they ask us to tell them a topic to monologue about and someone shouts feet and they rant about feet lmao phil excitedly tells everyone he has a better wiki feet rating than dan

then dan goes on a rant about being discriminated against as a millennial (can’t remember how we got there) and phil gets bored and starts watching subway surfers and i’ll be real honest as a gen z i instantly got distracted by subway surfers and didn’t listen to what dan was saying (that was the point tho) and phil keeps turning up the volume and dan gets mad and he storms off

we have a nice sincere moment with phil but idk what tf it was cos neither did phil 😂

then suddenly a voice, oh here she comes, she asks if we’re ready to confess our sins and out comes sister daniel, everyone fucking loses it, if you heard me screaming so loud no you didn’t.

anyway they read some confessions (phil is father philip) and they read out a few including one from @dnphobe !!! phil has a water gun that he didn’t have when he was meant to and couldn’t find and then found and he was spraying it at people to cleanse them of their sins which is what they meant by people being in the splash zone btw also phil sprayed it at dan it was kinda cute

okay so they say they need to go and get changed and they head off stage and there’s a gag where they leave the microphone on and they’re purposely making it sound sexual and it’s so funny and then dan comes out and phil doesn’t cos he’s struggling with his leather fucking trousers that was a completely unscripted part for sure

then they talk about the hiatus a bit and how dan left us and they keep calling us their family and brb while i cry my eyes out

then they pull out a fucking banger of a song, like i can’t even explain to you how good it is, it has a fully like kpop style dance to it that im gonna fucking learn lmao and dan was so good at it like im not even kidding that man was pulling moves!! phil was doing great too btw but he definitely wasn’t as confident in it as dan was but damn it’s the best song yet imo!!

also i forgot to write the conspiracy bit because i forgot where in the show it is but on one of them they were trying so hard to make us say the opposite one but we were literally forcing tour bus on them and yes they confirmed they shared a bed on that tour bus!! and they played it off like its okay for friends to do that (cos it is) but they way they said it was that thing again where they blur the line a little so we know what they actually mean but still pretend they mean something else

okay some little things i remember that i didn’t write above

- “i can’t imagine my life without you”

- “it’ll be 15 years in december” (if you know you know)

- the absolute silence after they confirmed the bed thing cos none of us were actually expecting it

- dan had to prompt phil a little to remind him what to say next but it was very cute

- they kept looking at each other in *that* way

- phil lied to us about when norman died cos he had norman merch coming out

- sleepless night with phil 3 is fake!!

- they showed *that* video of phil asleep on the tour bus

- there were multiple times where i thought they’re gonna kiss right now???

-phil called dan kinda sexy

- ALL IS FORGIVEN, ANYTHING FROM THE LAST WE MIGHT HAVE DONE IS FORGIVEN THEY LOVE US WE ARE A FAMILY THEY ARE LITERALLY OUR DADS

[dollishbabess]

Hi! Could I ask for headcanons of Damian and a reader that’s trying to befriend him? Like, they’re dating one of his brothers and are just trying to bond with him.

Hope you’re having a good day!

“DO YOU EVER SHUT UP??” ── .✦ dollish

A/n: this is actually creativee, and ty ofc you too, I was eating a burger while making this so correct any mistakes in your head pls

(Platonic!)

Sibling Rivalry You start off with the best intentions of being a good sister-in-law, but every time you try to engage with Damian, he challenges you to a duel. “You wish to be my sister-in-law? Prove your worth!” You look around a bit confused “How about proving your worth by helping me cook dinner instead?” You say a bit weirded out by this “king” act He reluctantly agrees but still insists on holding a sword while stirring the pot just in case this is an attempt on his life.

"Are You My New Mother?" Damian finds it strange to have a sister-in-law. One day, while you're helping him with his homework, he looks up and asks, “Are you my new mother?” You burst out laughing, saying, “No, I’m just your super cool sister-in-law! Way cooler than anybody else!” He narrows his eyes, “You are not as cool as you think, Do you have body dysmorphia or do you need a mirror?” He says side eyeing you.

Cooking Disaster You decide to bond with him by cooking dinner together. However, your culinary skills are questionable at best. After an hour in the kitchen, you both emerge covered in flour, and the kitchen is a disaster zone. Damian looks at the charred remains of what was supposed to be lasagna and says, “I think I preferred it when you didn’t come into my life.”

Pet Therapy Gone Wrong You asked dick what Damian liked best and dick said animals so you try to bond by bringing home a puppy, hoping it would melt his icy demeanor. Instead, the puppy jumps all over him, and he ends up on the floor with the dog licking his face. He exclaims, “This creature is trying to assert dominance! This is unacceptable L/N .” You laugh, “Well, it’s working. You look pretty helpless right now!”

Shopping Spree You decide that every good sister-in-law should go shopping with damian, If the dog didn’t work maybe a bit of shopping would. You take him to a mall and try to get him to try on some casual clothes. He glares at the store employees like they’ve offended his entire bloodline every time they suggest something. You end up with a pair of socks that have cats on them, and he’s stuck with a beanie that has a giant “D” on it. “This is not acceptable,” he mutters, but you can see he’s secretly amused.

The millennial core jokes..the problem with dating dick is you get infested with millennial jokes and start acting like the millennials you used to laugh at. “Hey, Damian, why did the Batmobile cross the road?”, he clearly cringes and then scowls. “I do not know.” “To get to the other side!” He rolls his eyes, muttering, “You are truly old.” You beam at him, “And yet, I can still fit in! Skidbi or whatever you guys say!”

Movie Night You invite him to a movie night, thinking it’s a great way to bond. You choose a romantic comedy, and he looks horrified. “This is not a movie! It is an abomination.” You insist, “Just watch it! It’s supposed to be funny.” Halfway through, he’s making sarcastic comments and you realize he’s getting into it, even if he pretends not to enjoy it.

Unintentional Matchmaker You try to set him up with your niece who’s around the same age as him, Thinking it would help him socialize. He turns up with the girl and they’re both awkwardly silent, prompting you to burst out laughing. “Are you two plotting a wedding or just not talking?” He glares, “It is not a marriage proposal!” but you can see the faintest hint of a blush.

Baking Lessons You attempt to teach Damian how to bake cookies, claiming it’s a “sisterly bonding experience.” He takes it very seriously, reading the recipe as if it’s a sacred text. When the cookies turn out slightly burnt, he deadpans, “This was clearly an attempt on my life.” You retort, “Nah, they’re just crunchy a new trend.” You take a bite almost chipping your tooth. “Mhm! Mmm yummy……” Damian raises an eyebrow at you. “Your not enjoying it.”

The Ultimate Test Finally, you declare a “Prankster challenge” where you both try to outdo each other in ridiculous antics. You prank Dick together, try to scare Alfred (didn’t work), and end with an epic pillow fight. When it’s over, both of you are exhausted, lying on the floor. Damian sighs dramatically, “I suppose you are not the worst sister-in-law one could have although you are questionably clueless .” You grin, “And you’re not the worst little brother-in-law either!”

── .✦ My brain is FINISHEDDDD so sorry if this is so wrong 😭😭

Second divider @cafekitsune

[ghouldump]

To Be Loved | Armand x Reader

ෆ idolized and worshipped by your coven members, alive but not living, things quickly change for you when you move to Paris, and meet your soulmate.

requested via private messages, this was so cute, no manipulative gremlin armand.

What is Love? A feeling of deep admiration or likeness? Patience, kindness, unconditional forgiveness? It was hard to tell. The emotion had become so distant from you, a faint memory from half of a millennial ago. Love required trust, and you couldn't bring yourself to trust another.

“My lord, the sun has departed for the night,” Demetrius said, making you look up from your lap. Everyone kneeled before you, their heads down.

“You may go and hunt,” you dismissed them, closing your eyes. You could feel their stares lingering, hesitating, as they stood up, leaving you alone in the dungeon.

“How long will you starve yourself? At least feed on the rodents, you look like death,” hearing her voice, feeling her closeness, but refusing to face her, to acknowledge the concerned expression.

“Good, then I’m one step closer to dying for good,” you sighed.

“Y/n, don't be stupid, go drink, it is an order from your maker,” she ordered, making you open your eyes.

“Leave me,” you screamed, facing her, but she was gone.

Cassia, the reason you were here today, the last person you trusted. You were from a wealthy family, and your father, and his father, both swordsmiths, valued, oftentimes working alongside kings and their soldiers.

While he was never home, your mother was too immersed in raising your younger siblings to focus on you, nevertheless, you were loved. On birthdays and traditional holidays, you'd receive amazing gifts of all kinds, praised and advised on everything, you couldn't have asked for a better life. It wasn't until the mysterious young woman, Cassia moved close by, that your life changed.

You had been out later than usual, on your way home from a friend’s house, when you saw her. She stood outside of her house, reaching for the apples on the tree.

“Hey, could you lend me a hand, I can't reach these,” she called out, stopping you, just as you passed her short fence.

“I really need to get home,” you said, apologetically.

“It will only take a moment, please, come,” she said, watching as you awkwardly entered the gate. You didn't understand how she thought you could help when there wasn't a big difference in your height.

Jumping a few times, you managed to knock the apples out of the tree. Picking them up, you placed them in her basket, turning to leave, but she stopped you.

“Bring them in,” she told you, already walking into the house. Glancing down the road at your house, you picked up the basket, and you entered the home. It was much brighter than outside with all of the candles, neatly arranged.

“You can sit them on the table,” she said, turning to face you. Your eyes widened for a moment, she was one the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. Her skin was perfect, smooth with a few small moles, full lips, doll eyes, and glossy soft hair.

“Thank you,” she told you.

“You're welcome,” you said, turning to leave.

“How old are you? I heard your family a few weeks back, celebrating a birthday,” she said.

“Eighteen”

“And you aren't betrothed?” she asked, as she moved closer.

“No, my father will begin looking for arrangements later this year,” you explained.

“Good, whoever has you, will be lucky, you have a heart of gold,” she said, her hand going to your cheek. She was moving closer, making you uncomfortable, an eerie grin on her lips.

“Go, it is getting late, but come back tomorrow night,” she continued.

There was something intriguingly bizarre about the woman because despite how weird she seemed, the next night you found yourself, fidgeting with your fingers, in front of her door, contemplating if you wanted to knock. Just as you raised your hand, the door opened.

“Come in,” she smiled, moving out of the way.

“I don't believe I got your name, yesterday night,” she continued.

“Y/n,” you held out your hand.

“Cassia,” she raised an eyebrow, taking your hand into her own.

Awkwardly staring at your hands, while she gazed at you, she continued caressing her thumb against your skin. Clearing your throat, you took your hand away.

“What did you need?”

“I have a gift, for your generosity,” she said.

“No need, it was nothing-

“I insist, please, sit,” she pointed to the table. Gulping, you went to sit down, something peculiar about her tone sent a chill down your spine.

“I hope you like apples, I made pastries, it has been a long time since I’ve made anything like these, but I know they are delicious,” she smiled, setting the tray in front of you. The slice of fresh apple pie, along with cookies.

“Thank you, this really was unnecessary,” you shook your head, breaking a piece of the cookie.

“You were the first and only to help me, it is obvious that you have been chosen,” she told you, watching as you ate the cookie.

“Do you like it?” she asked, smirking as you nodded. Chewing, you began to cough a little, repeatedly clearing your throat, and staring into the cookie. Standing up, you made your way to the door, stumbling, Cassia slowly behind you, catching you, as you fell unconscious.

Waking up, you struggled to move, opening your eyes, confused to see Cassia, straddling your lap, placing a variety of ointments and oils onto your body.

“W-what is going on?”

“I am preparing your body for your death,” she told you before she started humming.

“My what? Release me,” you wiggled, stopping as her hand went to your throat.

“You have been chosen, do not ruin this,” she snapped.

“Cassia, please, what are you talking about?”

“Those who must be kept were cursed, damned to eternity on earth, and to live off of blood, but the creator showed them mercy, bestowing soulmates. A companionship stronger than any other, the perfect partner, meant only for those with the dark gift. My soulmate, Elias, was weak, he chose the sun, he chose death over me. I’ve prayed and prayed, and I asked for another soulmate, and you have come along, helping me and I have to turn you to ensure we have each other forever,” she said, your eyes widened in fear, shaking your head.

“You're mistaken-

“I haven't been more certain,” she told you, her fingers brushing over your lips before she bared her fangs.

“To us, and an eternity of our love,” she said, sinking her fangs into your neck draining the life from out of you.

Turning you, within a single night, you had lost everything. Your family, friends, life, everyone sensed how different you became. How you suddenly left home and would only be seen with the strange woman. The same exterior, but a different entity possessing the body they once knew. The new social discrimination you experienced didn't help, being shunned for your not-so-obvious relationship with Cassia.

She was a lonely soul and out of your kindness, she convinced herself you were her second chance at love. She would later explain how it felt when you would come across your soulmate. How you would love them no matter who they were, their shade, or where they were from. She didn't realize it until turning you, but she had been wrong, there was no second chance. She would've let you go, to find your way with the dark gift, but she couldn't.

After the side effects wore off, the way you looked at her, your maker, brought butterflies. She knew it was only the gift, bringing on the newfound lust, but she gave in anyway. It was nothing more than sex for you but after centuries of celibacy, it felt like lovemaking to Cassia. On the living room floor, until morning came, then reality came down on you. Pulling away, a hint of disgust in your eyes, she knew then. Running outside, you only made it past her fence, before you fell to your knees, screaming in agony.

“Cassia,” you cried out, confused why this was happening.

Wearing a cloak, she grabbed a blanket and rushed out to save you, carrying you back into the house. From that point, even if you weren't hers, she loved you and felt a need to take care of you. After a few decades together, you eventually accepted her, but she knew it was only a matter of time before you came across your soulmate. That is why, a century into your companionship, she finally surrendered to the sun, leaving everything to you.

The last person to love you had left you alone. Her wealth and dark gifts, she passed, but you were utterly alone. You became a vagabond, you had no one to keep you settled in one place. You attempted to surrender a few times, but Cassia’s spirit wouldn't seem to leave you alone, talking you out of it every time. You formed a bitterness towards her, she claimed to love you, yet she brought you into this lonesome life, just to leave you.

Eventually, you found yourself in Rome, Cassia’s homeland. She and her soulmate were both turned and met here. You acted as if you hated her, but found yourself in the very place she was born. Buying a large home in the countryside, you were satisfied with the large dungeon in the home.

Not long went by, before your encounter with the local vampires. They came to you on a night you stood near a cliff, trying to pray. You had been trying for so long, you didnt have an end solution. For God to make your life less lonely, to bring your soulmate, to help you finally end your life, you were sure he wasn't listening, but it helped pass the time.

As they surrounded you, you didn't bother facing them, maybe they could kill you, but then Cassia came, telling you to show them your power. You had inherited all of the gifts and were much older than them. Begrudgingly, you turned to them, flying above them, watching as they quickly submitted to you. Then, one of them pointed out that you were praying, perhaps you were their saint, a mediator for the damned to god himself.

You denied their claims, but they didn't listen, asking to reside with you, which was the beginning of your coven. Eight young vampires, you grew closest to Demetrius, Jonah, and Marianne. Three centuries came and went and they all remained devout. Even though, for the last few years, you would be off and on starving yourself for weeks at a time.

“My lord?”

“Yes, Demetrius?” you answered, slowly turning to look at him. On his knees, his head bowed, he held a box.

“For you, you shouldn't starve yourself like this,” he said, as you took the box, surprised to see the trapped rats inside.

“Thank you,” you said, grabbing one of the rodents, and biting into it.

“The others are too afraid to mention this, and asked me to bring it up with you,” he said, nervously.

“Well, out with it,” you told him.

“We want to leave Rome, a few locals have gotten suspicious, and the talk has made its way to the city. We could easily kill them, but it would cause too much attention, so we think it is best to leave,” he said.

“Stand up,” you told him. You found it so bothersome having all of them bowing and crawling at your feet.

“The others are aware that they are able to leave this coven, I will not stop any of you,” you told him, as he stood in front of you.

“Yes, but we want you to come, Marianne thinks we will be safe in Paris, but we want you to join us,” he said.

“Go with them, Rome no longer serves you any purpose, you only await death here,” Cassia told you, as you stared at Demetrius.

“How soon did everyone expect to leave?”

“As soon as possible”

“Then we will leave for Paris, and you all can come out from hiding,” you said, watching as your coven members slowly revealed themselves.

“Thank heavens, there is one more thing, Demetrius hasn't told you, my lord,” Jonah said, making you face him.

“And what is that?”

“We have hopes of blending in with society”

“Very well-

“I think they mean everyone”

“I mean everyone, and with the utmost respect, you will also have to adjust, or you will look out of place, Marianne can take care of your wardrobe,” he said nervously, glancing at her.

“Tell them yes,” Cassia said excitedly.

“If these are the plans, you all will need to prepare, as soon as possible,” you said, watching as everyone’s faces lit up, dropping to their knees, they worshipped you.

“This is good, you need the change, you can finally take steps towards living your life,” Cassia told you, as you lowered your head.

Hopefully. How long would your life continue like this? The vain worship, as if you were their god. You couldn't remember the last time someone looked into your eyes and saw you as an equal. Maybe Paris could change the agonizing lifestyle you felt trapped in.

“I hope I haven't overdone myself, my lord,” Marianne said, her head down, following you into the large castle-style home.

“It is perfect, I can't remember the last time I saw coffins this nice,” Cassia clapped, walking next to you.

“You have done well, everything is pleasant,” you told her, patting her head as she thanked you profusely.

“Amazing, we have our own coffins?” Alexander, one of the younger, newer members of the coven exclaimed. He was also Marianne’s soulmate.

“Yes, I apologize for my negligence as a coven leader over the years, in the dungeon, I felt no need for coffins, being that it was dark, but coffins are much more comfortable than the cold floor,” you told him, you didn't realize until after speaking, everyone stared at you with such admiration in their eyes.

“We chose you as our leader, and we accept any conditions, as long we can stay with you, although we are very thankful for the upgrade,” Jonah told you, everyone agreeing.

“Enough of the praise, there are still a few hours left in the night, go hunt, and travel together, until you are familiar with your surroundings,” you waved them off.

“You're not coming?”

“Perhaps another time, go on,” you told them, turning away, and going to your room.

It had only been a few hours since arriving in Paris, at the large house. Demetrius took care of finding the place, while Marianne furnished it, before your arrival. You couldn't lie, you felt uncomfortable, your usually unruly appearance had been completely changed, replaced by fitted trousers and a soft turtleneck.

You refused to be walking around in the strange dresses of the age and preferred androgynous pieces of clothing.

“Will you hunt tomorrow?”

“Cassia, why is it that even in death, you force yourself into my life, I am not yours,” you told her sternly.

“You are my fledgling, my blood flows within you, I can not leave you to die, not when you have so much potential and when you haven't given yourself a chance to find your soulmate, even in death, I love you more than myself”

“Then why did you leave? All you wanted was for me to love you, and when I did, you left,” you faced her, pointing accusingly.

“I made a mistake turning you, out of my own selfishness you were created. I couldn't keep you, and deny you the vampire meant to be yours. You can hate me, but I knew what was best, and trust me when I say, that coming to Paris was for the best, what’s yours is soon to come, sooner than you think,” she said, vanishing.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and Cassia never spoke to you. It was refreshing, not having her in your ear. Other than the praise and worship, Paris seemed like the change you needed. No one encountered any other vampires, and they all were beginning to blend, amongst the mortals, as they originally wanted.

“My lord, please help,” Marianne burst into your room. You were levitating, attempting to pray, but opened your eyes.

“What is it?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows at the blood smeared all over her face.

“Alexander is in trouble; he wandered off while we were hunting and came across a few other vampires, they followed him here and they're much stronger than the others, please do something,” she said, her voice filled with urgency. Nodding, you let your feet touch the ground, before following her.

Just as the door opened, you could see the vampires surrounding your coven, taunting them. Lifting from the ground, with only a flick of your finger, fire sparked around them, making them confusing look around looking up at you.

“Get away from them,” you warned them.

“You and your coven are in claimed territory, you’ve been here for months and haven't made your presence known,” one of the vampires spoke, his back had been turned to you the entire time.

“Careful,” Cassia spoke, you looked over at her. This was the first time seeing her in over seven months.

“I do not answer to other vampires,” you told him, going back to the ground, as he began to turn around.

Fire appeared in his hand, making you do the same, and just as he faced you, both of you froze. His eyes widened, while you shook your head in disbelief. Your heart was racing, goosebumps on your skin, as you stared at this beautiful creature. Your heart was reaching out to him, yearning to be loved and cherished by him, he was your soulmate.

“Enough, let them go,” he spoke to his coven, making them look at him confused.

“We can't just-

“Enough,” he raised his voice, and immediately they stopped, moving away.

Your coven slowly came to you, each of them bowing their heads at you. Alexander looking the most apologetic.

“I am sorry, my lord,” he started.

“You have done nothing wrong,” you reassured him.

“I am Armand, What is your name?” the man spoke, making your eyes shift back to him. As much as you knew for sure he was your soulmate, you refused to give in. To be used for his personal pleasures, like Cassia.

“That is none of your concern,” you said, and immediately he was in front of you. His eyes softened, reaching for your hand, but you took it away.

“You are my soulmate,” he started.

“And if I wasn't, what would have happened? You threatened my coven and me, I am quick to forgive, try again another time,” you spat, turning away, your coven following.

“You're just letting them leave,” Santiago asked, frowning.

“Yes, for now, we must go, the sun will be out soon,” he said, walking toward their bikes.

“Why would you deny him, deny yourself love?” Cassia asked.

“The sun will be out within the next hour,” you announced.

“You would rather be alone, and sulk until you die”

“Stop talking,” you muttered.

“You have followed in my footsteps with your selfishness”

“Cassia shut up,” you yelled, as your coven members shared looks of concern, seeing you yell at what seemed to be nothing.

“Everyone to your coffins,” you said, clearing your throat and going to your room.

“It is not my intention to hurt you, my love, but I don't want you to do this to yourself. If you could have seen from another perspective how he looked at you, he didn't want to harm you, if he comes back, give him a chance, please, for the both of us,” she told you, holding your cheek, before disappearing.

Going to your coffin, you blocked everyone out as they talked among themselves. Whispering questions, and ideas. As the sun came up, you fell asleep easily, all of them leaving your mind as you gave in to the well-needed rest.

Just as the moon covered the sky, you opened your eyes at the sound of a knock on the front door. Getting out of your coffin, you began to leave the room. You could see Demetrius at the door, it was only cracked, but you knew who stood on the other side.

“If I may speak with your leader”

“I don't think that is a-

“It is okay, Demetrius,” you told him, watching as he bowed, opening the door more to reveal him, holding a bouquet of roses.

“Are you sure?”

“I am, thank you,” you said.

“Good boy,” the youthful man said, tauntingly, while Demetrius slowly walked away, growling at him, as he disappeared into his room, as you approached the door.

“Is there something I can help you with?” you asked.

“You told me to try again another time, these are for you,” he said, holding out the flowers for you to take.

“I didn't think you would come so soon,” you said, making them fly across the room, landing on the nearby table.

“You are my soulmate, I couldn't go another moment knowing you are out there, away from me. I apologize for my coven and my behavior, we have been aware of your people for some time now, waiting for any of you to reveal yourselves,” he said.

“I too am at fault, I sensed the presence of another older vampire, but I didn't realize you would be so close,” you admitted, you couldn't decide if it felt odd or refreshing, as he stared into your eyes, nodding after each word that came from your mouth.

“Fate has a way of working, come with me, somewhere more private,” he said, holding out his hand. Hesitantly, you accepted his hand, exiting the house. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he lifted from the ground, flying through the sky.

He didn't stop until he was at the famous art museum, freezing security, slowly lowering to the ground. As your cold feet touched the floor, his hand went from your waist to your hand, leading you up the stairs.

“Your coven, they worship you as if you are their god, Y/n, it took a lot of digging to find out your name,” he started.

“They have convinced themselves I am some sort of saint for the damned, I have denied the title, but now I think they have simply chosen to be loyal to me,” you shrugged.

“And your faithful servant, Demetrius?” he asked in a tone you didn't like.

“What about him?”

“He is only your devout worshipper? He seemed to care-

“He is loyal, but if we had anything going on, it wouldn't be any of your business-

“Y/n, don't act like that,” Cassia appeared.

“Would you be quiet,” you started, but froze, realizing you spoke to her, in front of Armand.

“Are you…alright, darling?” he asked, glancing at you.

“My maker insists on haunting me, to make up for her mistakes,” you confessed.

“Her mistakes….”

“She thought I could potentially be her soulmate, so she turned me, but when she realized I would eventually meet my soulmate, she went into the sun,” you said, as you focused on the artwork along the walls.

“I’m sorry”

“Centuries, I have been alone, honored but unknown to my coven, it was her, who had convinced me to come to Paris”

“Then I should be thanking her, for bringing you to me,” he smiled, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

“Armand, I can’t be with you, I hardly know you-

“You and I, we are more alike than you think, untrusting, hurt, a wall built around us, in hopes of protecting what was once wounded. I’m not asking for you to jump out of your comfort zone, but rather, I’d like to invite you to visit my theatre. You have to get to know someone to decide if they are worthy of being trusted,” he said, making you glance over at him.

This beautiful man, your soulmate, the deepest parts of your soul pleaded to give into his words. Fall into his embrace and exchange your love, but the emotional scars held you back.

Clearing your throat, you walked away from him, towards the next piece of art. “I’ll think about it,” you said, hearing his small chuckle, before he followed behind you.

“Where did you reside, before coming to Paris?” He asked, making you slightly frown.

“Why?”

“I’m only curious to know more about you, your background, how did a woman as beautiful as you, become a coven leader, with such powerful gifts,” he said.

“I could say the same, you look very young, how old were you?” you asked him.

“Ladies first,” he smirked. Looking into his eyes with a straight face, you searched for deception, any reason to not trust him, but you could find none. His body language was completely defenseless and open to you. Sighing, you opened your mouth, starting from the beginning, you shared your story with him.

From the windows, you could feel the eyes of your coven members. Lowering to the ground, with Armand, you held on comfortably, as the two of you continued talking.

The coven couldn’t deny how different you already seemed. This was the most they’d ever seen you speak, occasionally laughing at whatever the man had said. The sun would be out in less than an hour and here you stood out in the open, with the mysterious man.

“You should go, the sun will be out soon, and my coven, they are watching us”

“Intensely,” he agreed, making you snicker.

“You look so beautiful when you smile,” he continued, watching as you bit down on your lip.

“I have to go,” you said. Turning to leave, he reached for your hand, stopping you. Pulling the card from his pocket, he slipped it into your fingers.

“Come to the theatre, you and your coven,” he smiled.

“Sleep well, Armand,” you told him, walking away. You could feel the wind blow, as he flew into the sky.

Entering the house, your mood changed, seeing your coven shift their eyes from you. You knew it was out of respect, but you saw them as equals, and this was growing tiring.

“If any of you are up for it, we have been invited to Théâtre des Vampires, I’ll be going tomorrow,” you told them.

“And if you expect to blend in, then there will be no bowing or titles, we are going to enjoy ourselves, save your worship,” you said, turning to go upstairs.

“My lord,” you heard, as you were about to enter your bedroom.

“Yes,” you turned, facing Marianne.

“He’s your soulmate, isn't he?” she asked, a small smile, on her face.

“I’m afraid so,” you said lowly.

“Give him a chance, you deserve to be adorned with love and kisses. Just looking at him, I’m sure your heart flutters tremendously,” she said.

“Is that how you feel about Alexander?”

“From the moment I looked into his eyes, I fell in love, and it hasn't faltered since then, please, you deserve this,” she said, for the first time, meeting your eyes differently. Not as a devout worshipper, but a friend.

“Get some rest, Marianne,” you smiled at her, turning to leave her, going into your room.

“She’s right, you know,” Cassia spoke, as soon as the door shut.

“I thought you were done for the night,” you told her, as you removed your clothing, changing into your pajamas.

“I will be leaving you soon,” she smiled, looking down at her hands, two wedding rings decorated her finger.

“Giving me another break?”

“For good,” she said, as you snapped your head her way.

“What do you mean?”

“You have found your soulmate, you may not see it now, but Armand is persistent, and he loves hard. You will give in to his love, and finally, this void within you will be filled. Meaning, my work is done,” she smiled, a bloody tear dropping from her eye.

“Where will you go?”

“I am damned, so I would assume hell, not that it matters,” she laughed, bitterly.

“You don't have to do that, you can stay-

You began to protest, coming up with possibilities, while she stood, shaking her head. Approaching you, you began to cry quietly. You held a resentment towards her, yet you couldn't deny how much she meant to you, at this moment.

“You don't have to go,” you whispered.

“I may be damned, but I’ve done well with you, my greatest creation, my love, my angel — you make the dark gift shine beautifully in the night. You will always be the best thing that happened to me. All I ask is that you live, and continue to flourish, no matter what. No more dungeons, starving yourself, isolating from the world, do you understand?” she asked, smiling sadly, as you nodded.

“Yes,” you managed to speak.

“As much as I’d love to savor your lips, I will save them for your soulmate. Even when I’m not here anymore, I will live on through you. My blood flows in you, leaving a small piece of me with you, for an eternity. Goodbye, my sweet y/n,” she said, slowly fading. As she completely disappeared, you noticed the teardrop blood stain, right where she stood. Proof that she hadn't been part of your imagination, but actually with you, throughout the years.

Opening your coffin, your mind shifted between Armand and Cassia. Love. You still didn't what it was, but perhaps he could be the one to show you — with Cassia gone, what did you truly have to lose?

“We're trying to assimilate and these pricks are blatantly doing this, acting like it's a play,” you could hear Demetrius grumble, as you all sat, attempting to watch the play. The play that you all quickly realized, was one, terrible, and two, their way of killing humans in front of other humans.

“Exactly, but these mortals are just as pathetic because they find it scary,” Jonah laughed, as the curtain closed. The young girl could still be heard screaming, her voice growing faint.

“I see him,” Marianne bumped your shoulder, making you look over. He sat in a booth, facing you, and as soon as you met his eyes, he smiled. You almost returned the gesture, but instead, you kept a straight face, making his face falter for a moment.

Turning back towards the stage, you listened to Jonah, Demetrius, and Alexander go on about how terrible the play was, going as far as making jokes about the actors. You could feel his gaze, but you ignored it, watching as humans began to leave the theater.

“That was almost two hours of my life wasted,” Alexander whined to Marianne.

“Look who decided to show his face,” the familiar man spat, standing in front of you all, his eyes on Alexander.

“He doesn't want any problems with you,” you told him, as his eyes sharply shifted to you.

“Their dear coven leader, you have all of them afraid of you, but perhaps it's because you haven't met your equal, or someone stronger,” he hissed at you, as you stood up.

“Is that supposed to be you?” you tilted your head, fire sparking from your fingers.

“Enough, Santiago,” Armand spoke up. The man rolled his eyes, but obeyed his orders, backing away from you. The action seemed to catch the attention of all of his coven members, as they stopped what they were doing to watch the scene unfold.

“Y/n is my soulmate, disrespect to her is disrespect to me, and it will not be tolerated. Do I make myself clear?” he raised his voice, and many of the members nodded in agreement. Santiago remained quiet when Armand grabbed him, choking him.

“Do you understand, Santiago?” he asked him, watching him struggle to nod, muttering an embarrassed, “Yes”.

“Good,” he shoved him away, his eyes moving to you.

“Come,” he held out his hand to you, watching as you slowly accepted it.

Looking down at your hands, his fingers intertwined with your own, you looked back at your coven. They smiled excitedly, Jonah giving you a thumbs up.

“I was surprised you came, what did you think of the play?”

“It was awful, but in a good way, I guess. I enjoyed the ending,” you said, laughing at his surprised expression.

“At least you're honest,” he sighed, his thumb brushing against your hand.

“I thought of you throughout the night, I hoped that you would show up,” he admitted, as he led you in the direction of the park.

“Yeah”

“All I wanted was to see your beautiful face again or smell your scent. I’ve never met any-

“Armand, this is difficult for me. I haven't experienced this kind of passion, for over half of my vampiric life. I didn't know how to love, or what it even means to,” you told him, but he only shook his head.

“Do you feel the same way, when you look at me? As if time stops, the compelling force to do or be anything your soulmate wants, as long as they will have you. The elation of just looking at your soulmate, because they look nothing but perfect in your eyes, do you feel this way too?” he asked, relief when you hesitantly nodded.

Pulling you closer, his eyes shifted from your lips to your eyes. He seemed a bit hesitant, making you think of Cassia and Marianne. Their words replayed in your mind, you thought of the same saying from the previous night, what did you truly have to lose?

Standing on your toes, your lips pressed against his own, immediately, his arms were around your waist. Moaning into the kiss, you could feel the almost static connection between the two of you, just as your skin touched for a kiss.

“I-I want this, but I’m not ready,” you told him, feeling guilty, as you pulled away.

“There is no rush, as long as you remain close, we can take as much time as you need,” he said, holding your hand, and placing a kiss on it.

“And our covens?”

“They will learn to coexist, or they are free to leave,” he shrugged.

“I think we should get back, and maybe share this information with them,” you said.

“Anything you say,” Amrnand said, holding your hand, as he led you back to the theatre.

On your back way, you passed through the market, a young girl catching for attention. She stood next to a tent, holding a sign, in front of a crate of apples.

“Would you like an apple, mademoiselle?” she asked, reminding you of Cassia.

“I-no thank you,” you smiled, before looked back at you in confusion.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yes, we should hurry back,” you said to him, as he continued walking, pulling you close, leading you back the the theatre.

An eternity, you had an eternity with your soulmate. You could see now, that you would enjoy his company, he was protective, considerate, and kind. An eternity of being with Armand, perhaps then you would could finally begin to learn what it meant, to be loved.

i had to end it here bc y'all know i would go on and on 😂

[mv1simp]

I am in ur walls

I have come to raise the idea of, and hear me out, Max x PR officer reader. I’m just gonna yap now, hear me out

Like can you imagine Max going through his hoe phase and reader having to clean up his image, and she’s just fondly like UGH MAX. Part of her is like blehhhhh because more work, but the bigger part of her is like ✨jealous✨

And then at some point she makes an offhand comment like if you want to be a whore, can you at LEAST not make more work for me????

Cue Max and her starting to be a thing, and him trying to rile her up enough to get her to be their own PR issue just for shits and giggles and he gets quite risque and horny and her resistance to it just turns him on even more until he’s saying and doing the filthiest shit in the middle of the paddock just to get her to crack——

Also can you imagine how hilarious it would be if they get caught and GP is like NOT YOU TOO READER LIKE DOES HE HAVE A MAGIC DICK OR SMTH——

WELCOME TO MY WALLS!!! This idea HAS ME ahahahah see I was always a crackfic writer at age 12 on wattpad, its time to remerge into the light with this prompt

Like you know how max is so millennial coded. And she’s actually the same age as him but he thinks she’s older cause she’s always looking so stressed. And she like um that’s cause you’re a fuckin manwhore max?!? Have you thought about celibacy for a hot second? And as they become better friends she demands he hand over his card so she can invest in some good skincare

(max also suggests maybe she needs to get dicked down good, he’s happy to provide that if she wants or? 🤭🤭)

But anyways she’s pumping out Gen z memes left right and centre to distract the masses from his slut era and he’s always like wdym “i have zero rizz and am a bitchless cat dad”?? I know memes?? Remember hawk thua-

ALSO WHENEVER HE REALLY TRIES TO RILE HER UP ON THE PADDOCK AND SHE CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SHE MAKES HIM DO THE MOST ANNOYING SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGES TO GET BACK AT HIM like imagine her making him do a kiss marry kill with the drivers and he’s like 😑😑 and everyone’s like babes come here we got max Verstappen saying he’d kiss Alonso, marry charles and kill George before GTA 2024

ALSO I’m jumping the gun but after he ✨seduces her ✨ there’s so much scope for the classic shenanigans. Accidentally wearing shirts inside out. Accidentally wearing each others Redbull shirt and she could get away with oversized style but everyone’s like “max why tf are u wearing a crop top”. (GP knows. He knows and he can’t look either of you in the eye. Everyone has started asking why he loudly announces himself and waits 10 seconds before walking around the corners of the Redbull garage and he’s like…no reason. But his face is one of a man who has seen many, many things)

Anyway you have ban any contact of sexual nature after that incident that you have dubbed CropTopGate. But obviosuly that just makes max even more feral cause we know how competitive he is 😼

ALSO he’s notorious for going through personal managers as well but once you two start getting tension but you’re still all like “nooo 6 foot driver millionaires aren’t my type okayyyy 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️”

So he demands that you be promoted to his personal events manager as well. To which you are adamantly like NO knowing what this means for your poor self control but Christian Horner is like yes maxie boo 🥰 so now you also accompany max to all his lil modelling gigs, looking anywhere but at him while he stands shirtless next to you with a cocky grin.

OR LIKE IMAGINE HE AND A MODEL ARE DOING AN ADVERTISEMENT TOGETHER LIKE ONE OF THOSE SEXY PERFUME ONES. AND DURING A BREAK THE PHOTOGRAPHER NOTICES YOU AND MAX TALKING TOGETHER

and he’s like i don’t care who you are get over here NOW this sexual chemistry is insane so you end up in a very compromising pose up against max verstappen, F1 driver, cat dad, and certified slut while he’s whispering dirty things in your ear

(He catches on quick that you really likes it when he speaks Dutch, good thing you can’t understand it cause he’s just reciting his grocery list and enjoying watching you blush and squeeze your legs together)

very cute idea hehe thank you for messaging!! I LIVE for some sexual tension, reader is a better woman than me for trying to resist the advances of max 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[fryingpan1234567]

superheroes and social media

do you KNOW how often I see a cute trend on ig or tiktok or anything and I’m just like “man that would be cute for (insert hero ship)”

but that’s an issue because like… putting your face on the internet is DANGEROUS🙅‍♂️

I had. an idea. to solve all the issues!

as fun as it is to imagine the RobinOfficial account having 4 million followers, I think it’s more fun for everyone to have accounts that only follow and allow following in the caped community

so basically Instagram for just superheroes

the ones whose identities are known can post their faces, and the ones who are still under the radar have a close friends list that consists of the people who do know them

a very few amount of people who aren’t heroes are allowed on this Super IG

including Lois Lane, whose entire presence is standard mom posts but with like. Superkids and other Kryptonians. you get it

uhh Bernard Dowd too but he only follows Tim and Steph

Alfred, who only posts the Manor and London with captions like poetry

Selina Kyle because she already had a regular account but B was like “oh that’s dangerous now that we’re affiliated”

she was like “well how am I supposed to fuel my ego with no instagram for people to thirst after me”

B sighed and was like “well,,,,,”

Harley Quinn fluctuates between being banned and interacting with EVERYONE’S content with offensive amounts of emojis

anyways tell me WHY Conner Kent has the most iconic page on the internet

it’s full of these aesthetic photo dumps and crackhead videos of YJ doing dumb shit

also Tim. he’s got chaotic gen z billionaire vibes and most of his stuff is on his close friends list because B doesn’t need to see the REALLY dumb shit he gets up to

yeah they’re both hot and yeah they’re both elite pages. but Kon’s is Sabrina Carpenter energy and Tim’s is P!ATD energy so they’re different flavors of slay

on the opposite end of the spectrum we’ve got B, who has four posts, all exactly 365 days apart

it’s the yearly Father’s Day family portrait

Dick Grayson does that millennial vlog thing but Not

“a day in the life of a 24 year old cop (who also happens to be a vigilante)”

also a compilation of clips of him jumping off buildings, some taken by him and some by other people

can you IMAGINE this dumbass with a gopro

Red Bull wants to sponsor him what can I say

he lets his favorite villains follow him

WHEN I TELL YOU BILLY BATSON HAS THE MOST FAMOUS PAGE OF ANYONE IN THE COMMUNITY

because he was a public figure ANYWAYS. this is the idiot who used to walk around charging people’s phones with his powers and taking selfies for cash. people know him

so Captain Marvel has this crazy account with him doing memes and slo mo compilations of him punching guys from his body cam

his most hit post is a video where he found a cop harassing a bunch of kids on the street (who he happened to KNOW) and without saying anything at first just kindaaaaa walked over and fried the cruiser’s entire inner workings

“yo, copper! I think somethin’s up with your system, man!”

while the cop was trying to figure out how to start his fucking car again, Billy herded the kids down the sidewalk and they all took off running, giggling like maniacs

Damian Wayne doesn’t post a lot, but when he does, it’s to match with Jon

I mean like taking pictures of each other from across the same table and the captions are each half of a whole song lyric, stuff like that

his personal favorite is actually their softlaunch— they found an entire wall of mirrors at the planetarium on a date, Jon had his right hand on Dami’s waist and the other in his pocket, and Dami was standing in front of him, holding the phone with his right and tilting Jon’s face down with his left to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. neither of their faces are in it and it was Damian’s wallpaper for a WHILE

my babies ANYWAYS

Diana Prince posts exclusively about her favorite ice cream shops

Bart is the kid whose note is always like “in the hospital👍” / “sick again” / “hate broken ribs I can’t eat seven burgers in this condition” / “got possessed by a death god again :/ third time this week” and it’s like jesus man can you catch a break

can you imagine finding fucking Superman has a verified instagram account but it’s private so you can’t even follow freaking SUPERMAN

Duke Thomas is thoroughly over his siblings’ shit and there’s a ton of videos of them being dumbasses with captions like “someone save me it’s two in the morning”

anyways A COMPILATION OF TRENDS

“nobody move, there’s blood on the floor” for LITERALLY any ship it’s so funny

“what? you’re not coming to my tea party? Bethany, I made BISCUITS” with increasingly low res crack pics of Red Hood falling off of things, generously edited and posted by Tim Drake

dance trends with Steph and Cass

“guess which outfit is whose” with Tim and Steph but they’re both in their Robin uniforms

Tim making a cringey thirst trap edit of Jason who in response posted a clip of Tim tripping his own gear and setting off an alarm

“wearing the same outfit so no one can tell us apart” and it’s all the Batkids in their Robin uniforms (most of which barely fit) ((Bruce and Alfred cried))

the Superkids did the same thing a few days later and dragged Clark into it

not-quite-thirst-traps where they just kinda stand there over music but everyone in normal comments would’ve gone crazy

calisthenics trends. Thanks

it’s like a THING between all the Titans where they’ll sneak up behind each other, yell “THIS IS SPARTA,” and kick each other off roofs

someone sneaking up behind Jason while he’s belting Seasons of Love

MOTORCYCLE CONTENT

somewhere out in the world there’s a shaky, blurry video of Robin, Superboy, Spoiler, Blue Beetle, and Beast Boy dancing to and half-singing-half-yelling Tell Your Girlfriend

if you think of any more social media trends or videos or pics you see that remind you of a hero tag me because I’m obsessed with the idea of these idiots on socials

[buckets-and-trees]

Chosen, Part 6: Procession

Characters/Pairings: eventual Bucky x curvy Millennial Female!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x reader x Steve Rogers, Natasha x Steve, Thor Word Count: 4.2k Summary: Steve and Natasha have primed you, and now it's time for final preparations and then making your way to the event.

SERIES Content Warnings: SOFT!DARK STORY, cult themes, explicit smut, dubious consent and enthusiastic consent, veiled truths, gaslighting, sleeping drugs

CHAPTER Content Warnings: cult elements; explicit smut: touching, groping, kissing, couple having sex specifically to arouse you, edging, vaginal sex but not for you, teasing, vaginal fingering, grinding/humping, exhibitionism, dirty/provocative talk, orgasm denial

Notes: There's a little bit more than just smut this time, haha.

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↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

"It's almost time,” Natasha affirms. “We need to get you dressed."

She sits up and slides gracefully off the bed.

You blink, trying to clear more the haze of arousal from your mind. "Dressed? But I thought..."

"The ritual has specific requirements," Steve explains, his deep voice sending another shiver through you. "What you wear is part of it."

There was no question in your mind that sexual acts - intercourse specifically, after their preparation of your body - would be part of the ritual, so you had assumed that meant nakedness for you. There’s some blessed relief that you will have at least some covering, even if it’s minimal – unlike the experience you just endured where you were the only one naked in the room.

Natasha smoothes out her dress, adjusts her hair, retouches her lipstick, and then looks at her watch. “We have just enough time, but we don’t want to keep our founder waiting,” she sayd as she moves towards the closet room.

At the mention of the founder, a shiver of anticipation - or is it fear? - runs through you. The reality of the situation you find yourself in seems like it can’t be real, and yet it is, and there’s a thread drawing you in, a thread that’s been there from the beginning and woven itself into you.

Steve helps you sit up, your body still trembling slightly from their ministrations. You feel almost boneless, weak with unfulfilled desire. As you swing your legs over the side of the bed, you're acutely aware of how open and sensitive you feel.

Natasha returns from the closet clutching a garment bag in one hand and a pair of leather sandals in the other.

"Stand up," Natasha instructs gently.

You obey, your legs a bit shaky. Steve's steady hand on your lower back helps you maintain your balance.

Natasha lays the garment bag across the foot of the bed. She unzips it to reveal a deep midnight blue chemise, the color so rich and dark it looks almost black. The silk fabric shimmers under the light, and intricate lace adorns the bustline and hem, adding a touch of decadence. Natasha slips it off the hanger and hands it to Steve. He helps you slip it on over your head, his hands grazing your sides, sending little tremors down your spine, every nerve ending in your body still sensitive and wanting.

The fabric is cool against your heated skin, so light it feels like you're wearing nothing at all. Delicate shoulder straps hold the neckline in place, revealing in a way that straddles the line between modest and salacious. The dress falls halfway down your thighs, but the high slits on each side reach to nearly the top of your hips. You can’t help but feel incredible in this somehow perfectly tailored piece, clinging to your curves in all the right places and draping gracefully over the imperfections you typically worry over.

If you were staying here in the bedroom, wearing this for only your partner (or in this case partners), you would feel gorgeous and unquestionably confident.

But the thought of wearing this in front of who knows how many others? Your pulse jumps.

Natasha didn’t retrieve underwear for you. You don’t question that the exclusion was intentional.

She takes your hand and leads you back over to stand next to the vanity. Steve follows right behind, shoes in hand, and kneels to help you slip your feet into the sandals while Natasha begins to touch you up. She takes you from looking completely wrecked to only slightly mussed. You’re sure that’s intentional, too. She applies a rich color to your lip, perfect for your skin tone.

Steve brings over one more item from the bag, a full-length cloak to match the chemise, and drapes it over your shoulders. He carefully ties it at the neck. Natasha then retrieves the flower crown made of Luna's Tears and places it on your head, making sure it sits just right.

You stand between Steve and Natasha, their reflections flanking yours in the mirror. The midnight blue cloak drapes to the floor, adding an air of mystery and elegance. The flower crown rests delicately on your head, the iridescent blue petals seeming to glow in the soft light of the room.

"Beautiful," Natasha murmurs, her hand resting on your lower back.

Steve nods in agreement, his blue eyes intense as they meet yours in the mirror. "Perfect," he adds, his deep voice sending a thrill down your spine.

You barely recognize yourself in the reflection. The woman staring back at you looks ethereal, alluring, and undeniably primed for something momentous. Your skin seems to glow, your eyes bright and intense. The contrast between your polished appearance and the aching, unfulfilled desire still thrumming through your body is stark.

Steve’s hand trails down your arm, sending goosebumps across your skin. "It's time," he says softly.

Natasha nods, moving to open the door. "We'll escort you to the ritual site."

Your heart races as you follow them out of the room and down the hallway. The sounds of the party below have faded, replaced by an eerie quiet. As you descend the grand staircase, you notice the mansion seems deserted.

They lead you through the back of the house and out onto the grounds, and you can hear the music and voices of the party again. The full moon hangs low and heavy in the sky, bathing everything in silvery light. The air is thick with the scent of night-blooming flowers and something else - something heady and primal that makes your pulse quicken.

You walk in silence, but the party sounds grow as you progress. This path is nearly the same one you took in the daylight with Natasha, though that tour seems laughably long ago.

Steve and Natasha are holding hands as they walk ahead of you, and it’s so easy and natural between them it’s clear that it’s nothing new. They had given no hint of intimate involvement during the day, but it doesn’t surprise you now, given the time spent with them in your room. You’re not surprised but impressed by their professionalism and intrigued by what kind of relationship they have. But you will ask questions later. Sometimes you get chatty and ramble when your nervous, other times you grow quiet. In this case, it’s the latter, nerves mounting the closer you get to the gathering.

As you approach the event, the soft glow of lanterns illuminates the scene. The party is set in the garden the borders the hedge maze. Dozens and dozens of strings of twinkling lights are woven across the garden, creating a magical canopy overhead. The music, a haunting melody played by a double string quartet, seems to pulse in time with your heartbeat.

The three of you enter the clearing and a few heads turn in your direction. You feel their eyes on you, appraising and curious. There are soft murmurs and appreciative glances, but for the most part, the party continues uninterrupted. Your arrival was expected, anticipated.

Steve and Natasha lead you through the clusters of guests. The guests are an eclectic mix of people, all dressed in various shades of midnight blue and black. To your left, a group of women in flowing gowns adorned with constellations of sparkling crystals sway to the music, their movements fluid and hypnotic. Their faces are painted with swirling patterns of silver and gold that catch the moonlight, making them look otherworldly.

On your right, a man in an elaborate mask shaped like a raven's head is engaged in an animated conversation with a woman whose dress seems to be made entirely of peacock feathers. The feathers rustle softly as she moves, creating an illusion of constant motion.

You pass by a table laden with exotic fruits and delicacies. Your eyes dart from face to face, searching for the one you've yet to meet - James Barnes, the enigmatic founder. But he's nowhere to be seen among this gathering.

As you weave through the crowd, Steve's posture suddenly light shifts, more purposeful as he’s spotted whoever he was looking for. He guides you and Natasha towards a towering figure standing near the edge of the gathering. When you draw close enough, you realize it's Thor, the Nordic god of thunder himself. His golden hair is pulled back in intricate braids, and he's dressed in a midnight blue suit that seems to shimmer with an otherworldly energy. A cape of deep crimson drapes over one shoulder, the only red among those gathered.

Steve and Thor clasp forearms in greeting, their smiles warm and familiar. "Steven," Thor declares, his voice rich and resonant. "It's good to see you."

Thor's piercing blue eyes then land on you, and his smile widens. "Ah, and this must be the elim. I’ve been hearing the whispers from the others about you.”

You feel a flutter of nerves at Thor's words. The term "elim" is unfamiliar, but the way he says it makes it clear it refers to you and your role in tonight's events.

Natasha's hand rests reassuringly on your lower back as she addresses Thor. "Yes, this is her. We've been preparing her for the ritual."

Thor's gaze is intense as he looks you over, but there's also a warmth in his blue eyes that puts you slightly at ease. He takes your hand in his massive one, bowing slightly to brush his lips against your knuckles. "It is an honor to meet you, little one. You have been chosen for a great purpose."

Even though you’re unsure of that, you somehow manage a small smile, heart in your throat, your voice barely above a whisper as you reply, "Thank you."

You feel warmth creep up your cheeks as Thor's intense appraisal continues. His eyes linger on the flower crown adorning your head, and his smile deepens.

"The Luna's Tears suit you well," he says, his voice warm and approving. "They only shimmer for those who are worthy."

"Thor, we're honored you could join us tonight," Natasha says, her tone respectful but familiar.

Thor inclines his head slightly. "I wouldn't miss it. It's been far too long since I've attended one of James' rituals." His eyes twinkle with mischief as he adds, "And I must say, he's outdone himself this time."

You swallow hard, unsure if you should feel flattered or terrified by his words.

Thor finally releases your hand and looks between Steve and Natasha. "Is everything ready?" he asks.

Steve looks toward the entrance of the hedge maze and apparently finds what he’s looking for because he answers, “Yes. Let’s go.”

Thor pulls out a silver knife with a gleaming golden handle set with rubies and uses it to clink the glass in his hands, calling for everyone’s attention. A hush immediately falls over the gathering. The music fades away, replaced by an expectant silence. You feel the energy in the air shift, becoming charged with anticipation.

A sudden gust of wind whips through the grounds, causing the trees to rustle.

"The time has come," Thor announces.

Thor begins to stride toward the hedge maze. Your heart races as Steve and Natasha each take one of your arms, gently guiding you through the parting crowd.

As you move through the garden, you notice a path has formed, lined with guests holding glowing orbs of soft blue light. The orbs pulse gently, like heartbeats, casting an ethereal glow over the proceedings.

Once you reach the entrance to the maze, Thor stops and turns around, and the three of you stop as well.

“The full moon is nearing its ascent to its highest point. We now send the elim and her guardians through the labyrinth for ritual presentation, and all those who gather here are invited to follow in that procession to pay respect and witness the might and wonder of him who fell.”

You stiffen at his words, and Natasha’s eyes dart to your face, registering the resurgence of your reticence. Steve touches your arm, trying to calm you. Thor holds out an orb for your party.

Steve takes the glowing orb from Thor, its soft blue light illuminating his chiseled features. He nods to Natasha, and they gently guide you forward into the entrance of the maze. The hedges loom high on either side, their leaves rustling softly in the night breeze. The path before you is narrow, barely wide enough for the three of you to walk abreast.

As you take your first steps into the maze, you’re enveloped in a different kind of quiet, an eerie silence broken only by the soft crunch of gravel beneath your feet and the rustling of clothing as the three of you move. The scent of night-blooming jasmine and moonflowers wafts around you, intoxicatingly sweet.

The maze seems to come alive as you progress deeper. Fireflies dance among the hedges, their gentle glow adding to the otherworldly atmosphere. The maze twists and turns, each corner revealing new wonders as you move through it, the hedges rustling and whispering secrets you can't quite understand. You feel as though you're walking further and further from reality into a mystical space carved out of time. With each step, you feel a strange energy building, as if the very air is charged with anticipation.

It’s only when Steve and Natasha guide you around a corner only to be met with a wall of hedge that you realize their knowledge of the pathways is impressive since you had not hit any dead ends up until that moment.

And yet as they both stop and release your arms, you sense this is no mistake.

“We’ll wait here until the procession goes past,” Steve explains. “You enter the maze first, but you arrive at the ceremony last.”

“How are you feeling?” Natasha asks, studying your face in the faint luminescence from the orb as Steve pitches it on its spike into the ground.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. The question feels loaded, impossible to answer fully. Your emotions are a swirling tempest of fear, anticipation, lingering arousal, and something else you can't quite name.

"I'm... overwhelmed," you admit softly. "Everything feels surreal, like a dream I can't wake up from."

Natasha nods, her hand coming to rest on your cheek. "That's normal," she assures you. "The first time is always intense."

Steve steps closer, his presence both comforting and intimidating. "Remember," he says, his voice low and soothing, "you were chosen for a reason."

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Their words calm you slightly, but your heart still races.

The sound of approaching footsteps and hushed voices reaches your ears. The procession is getting closer.

Natasha's hand moves to your neck, her thumb tracing soothing circles over your pulse point. "Breathe," she murmurs.

The approaching footsteps grow louder, and you can make out snippets of hushed conversation as the procession starts to pass by your hidden alcove. The soft glow of the orbs they carry casts dancing shadows on the hedge walls.

Steve steps closer and lifts your chin to look into his eyes. “Don’t focus on them.”

“She’s getting worked up,” Natasha says, a frown on her face.

It only jars you further. “What am I supposed to focus on?” you hiss.

Steve's eyes lock with yours, intense and unwavering. "Focus on us," he says softly. "On what we did. How we made you feel."

Natasha's hand slides down your neck to your collarbone, her touch feather-light. "Remember how it felt when we touched you," she murmurs, her lips brushing your ear. "How your body responded to us."

Their words and touches send a shiver through you, reigniting the embers of arousal that had been smoldering since your time in the bedroom. Steve's hand cups your face, his thumb tracing your bottom lip. Natasha's fingers dance along your clavicle then dip beneath the neckline of your chemise.

"That's it," Steve encourages as your breathing quickens. "Let yourself feel it again."

Natasha's free hand slides down your side, coming to rest on your hip. She squeezes gently, the pressure grounding and thrilling you. Steve kisses you for a brief moment, and your eyes slip closed. His tongue teases the seam of your lips, and you open for him. He licks into your mouth and draws a moan from you, but then he’s turning your chin and Natasha’s lips take over, continuing the kiss.

The sounds of the procession begin to fade into the background as you lose yourself in the sensations Steve and Natasha are creating. Their hands roam your body, reawakening the desire they had stoked earlier. Natasha's lips move from your mouth to your neck, nipping and sucking at your pulse point. Steve's large hand cups your breast through the thin fabric of your chemise, his thumb brushing over your nipple.

You gasp, arching into their touches. The fear and anxiety that had been building dissipates, replaced by a heady mix of arousal and anticipation. Your body thrums with renewed need, the ache between your thighs intensifying.

"That's it," Steve murmurs, his voice low and husky.

Natasha's hand slips beneath the high slit of your dress, her fingers tracing teasing patterns on your inner thigh. You shiver at her touch, your breath coming in short gasps.

Steve's lips replace Natasha's on your neck, his beard scraping deliciously against your sensitive skin. His hand moves from your breast to your lower back, pulling you flush against him. You can feel his arousal pressing against your hip, and it sends a jolt of heat straight to your core.

"Remember how it felt when we opened you up," Natasha whispers, her fingers inching higher. "How desperate you were for more."

You whimper softly, your hips rocking involuntarily, seeking friction. Steve's hand slides down to cup your ass, squeezing firmly.

"Just like that," he encourages. "Let yourself want it. Crave it.”

Then he’s withdrawing and Natasha moves in, pressing deliciously into you, cupping your face in her hands, and re-capturing your lips in fiery kisses.

The thin silks of your chemise and her dress leave very little barrier between your chests, and the way your breasts press together is tantalizing, and you clutch at her shoulders.

When she throws her head back and groans, breaking off your kiss, your eyes flutter open slowly at first, then widen as you register why she’s had such a strong reaction.

Natasha's moan of pleasure rings in the small alcove as Steve presses up behind her, his large hands gripping her hips. You watch, transfixed, as Steve slowly pushes into her from behind, his muscular body caging both of you against the hedge. Natasha's silk dress is bunched around her waist, leaving her lower half exposed.

Steve's eyes lock with yours over Natasha's shoulder, dark with desire. He begins to move, his hips rolling in a slow, deliberate rhythm. Each thrust pushes Natasha further against you, her breasts pressing into yours through the thin fabric of your chemise and her dress.

Natasha's hands move down to clutch at your hips, her nails digging in slightly as she braces herself. Her breath comes in short, sharp gasps against your neck. You can feel the vibrations of her soft moans against your belly. Then Steve’s hands join hers on your hips, and they’re both holding you while he fucks her, the grinding and friction maddening.

Your body thrums with renewed arousal as you watch Steve and Natasha, feeling the echoes of their pleasure through their shared contact with you.

Natasha's lips find yours again, her kiss hungry and demanding. You taste her soft moans as Steve's thrusts grow more forceful. His large hands grip your hips tighter, pulling you closer, sandwiching Natasha between your bodies.

"Please," you whimper against Natasha's mouth, unclear yourself of what would truly satisfy you. Release? To join them fully? For this exquisite torture to never end?

Steve's deep chuckle sends shivers down your spine. "Not yet," he growls, his voice rough with exertion.

Natasha’s lips leave yours abruptly, but it’s clearly to keep control as Steve continues fucking her, curling her head into the crook of your neck, panting and moaning as Steve picks up the tempo of his thrusts.

Once she seems to harness the moment again, her lips trail along your jaw to your ear. "Remember how it felt when Steve's fingers were inside you," she whispers, her breath hot against your skin. "How full you were, how desperately you wanted more."

You whimper at her words, fingers curling against the two lovers in front of you.

“You want to be filled, don’t you?” she taunts, and you gasp as her fingers slip inside you.

Her head is still nestled against your neck, her hot breath tickling your skin.

“You want to explode with pleasure,” she continues, her voice husky and raw with desire.

You nod eagerly, craving any kind of relief.

Her fingers slip inside your slick channel and don’t thrust, but she curls them against the spot at the front of your walls that makes you keen, stroking in time with Steve’s thrusts. Steve has hands on both of you now, one on Natasha’s hip as he continues to fuck her from behind, the other on your waist as he guides you impossibly closer.

“How wet is she?” he asks Natasha, though his eyes are locked on yours.

“She’s dripping and desperate,” she murmurs against your neck, then presses an open-mouthed kiss there.

Your eyes flutter closed, and you can only clutch at Natasha’s waist, at Steve’s forearm, legs unsteady, as the elements - their words, her fingers, his grip, the forceful rocking of her body against yours, her lips, his eyes on you - pitch you higher and higher.

“You’re ready to experience the satisfaction of becoming one with a mate, aren’t you?” she whispers.

You stop breathing at those words.

Mate?

They’ve said nothing about mates.

Your eyes tear up at the assertion, and you stiffen, heart constricting.

But instantly Natasha throws her head back in a silent scream, shuddering in the ecstasy of her orgasm. It’s good that you aren’t expected to move, because you can’t, still reeling from her last statement. But you’re not wholly unaffected as you watch her come apart for Steve. He holds her hips with both hands now and ruts furiously into her, biting against her shoulder as he cums with a groan. You swear they seem to glow in their orgasmic state, but your own sight is tinged with so much desperate haze, you’re sure it’s only a trick of the moonlight.

They indulge for another moment in the wake of each other, but then they are quick to recompose themselves, Natasha withdrawing her fingers from your cunt, Steve thumbing away a tear from your cheek that you didn’t know had escaped.

As Steve and Natasha readjust their clothing, you stand there trembling, overwhelmed by what you've just witnessed and experienced. Your body still thrums with unfulfilled desire as your mind races with questions and uncertainties.

Natasha notices your trembling even before you do. She reaches out, her hand gently cupping your cheek. "Shh, it's alright," she soothes, her thumb brushing away another tear.

Steve steps closer, his large hand coming to rest on your lower back. "The wait is over," he says softly, his deep voice rumbling through you. "It's time."

Steve retrieves the delicate glass orb, and then they guide you forward, out of the alcove and back onto the main path of the maze. Steve and Natasha flank you on either side, their presence the one constant in all of this, though it’s been both comforting and disconcerting. The air feels different now, charged with an energy that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. The scent of night-blooming flowers is ever-present. Your heart races as you take in the subtle changes around you. The hedges seem taller, more imposing. The path stretches before you, lit by the soft glow of scattered orbs.

The sound of humming grows with each step that brings you closer. As you round the final corner of the maze, a clearing comes into view. The space is circular, enclosed by towering hedges that seem to reach towards the starry sky. In the center stands a large stone altar, bathed in moonlight.

Surrounding the altar are dozens of people, all dressed in shades of midnight blue and black. They form a tight circle, standing shoulder to shoulder, all their faces now hidden behind ornate masks.

Your heart races as Steve and Natasha guide you towards the altar. With each step, the inevitability of what’s coming presses in around you, though you still have so little of the scope of what to expect. All eyes are on you.

NEXT PART: OFFERING

Well... I told you there was a little more than just smut this chapter, but *wipes brow* I don't know about you, but I'm a bit 🥴 after the way Steve and Natasha just

well

yeah

*takes a cold shower*

SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[cobbbvanth]

the culture impact of glee, for the uninitiated

okay YEAH I'm starting glee discourse in the year of our lord 2024 due to recent events on the gay firefighter show. so for those who don't understand why josh's speech on 911 this week was so important, here's a brief run down of the impact glee had on queer history.

glee, also created by ryan murphy, began airing in 2009 and ran for six seasons before ending in 2015. for all ryan murphy's crimes™, his contribution to queer representation in media has been incredibly influential especially in the early 2000s-2010s. at age nine, kurt hummel from glee and mitch and cam from modern family were the first queer characters I remember encountering. representation of any kind was still so hard to come by on television, let alone stories where queer characters got to have happy endings. in 2009, chris colfer (who played kurt on glee) was one of the youngest openly gay actors in hollywood, being just 19 years old when they started the show. throughout its run, glee introduced several additional queer characters and story lines that dealt with real issues queer people experienced such as being closeted, coming out, homophobia - external and internal.

only 33% of Americans supported same-sex marriage when glee started airing, and "even among millennials — Glee’s target audience — just 51% were in favour at the time."

the support for marriage equality jumped to a record high of 60% as glee was airing it's final episodes. same sex marriage was legalised in the usa in 2015, just months after the final episode of glee aired. a season six episode features a double wedding for a wlw couple and a mlm couple where a lesbian, a bisexual woman and two gay men get to experience a day of joy and celebration surrounded by friends and family, despite having to cross state lines to marry legally. and yes, as stated in the above quote from this article and the speech josh gave on 911 this week, glee had its fair share of problematic moments. plenty of stuff on that show (as is the case with many ryan murphy shows) is not what we'd class as "good representation" today. and it's not perfect yet either. biphobia is still prevalent in bisexual arcs, wlw representation is still far behind mlm representation, and it's hard to convince networks to go for anything that's not cis male queer rep. but it's important to show grace for the media that helped us get to the state of queer representation we do have now. shows like glee have been credited with changing the minds of many of the people who were initially against marriage equality, purely by exposing them to stories about lgbtq+ people and their experiences. and glee was HUGE. one of the biggest shows on television when it was airing - it brought in millions of viewers weekly, hundreds of glee covers climbed the charts, it won awards, the cast sold out national and international tours. we get to have characters like josh and hen and karen and buck and tommy BECAUSE OF shows like glee that came before. so yeah, it wasn't just ryan murphy worship on another ryan murphy show, the pre-glee/post-glee timeline was a "genuine unit of culture measurement" as @autisticjoshrusso put it here.

on a personal level: I watched glee every week as it aired from age 9 to 15. so much of the way that I am today (my sense of humour, my love for performing, my taste in music) is because of this show. I've seen it countless times, but didn't fully realise how much it meant to me as a piece of queer media until I was in my early 20s, so this is a topic I'm very passionate about. I owe ryan murphy my life and I also want to hit him with my car <3 anyway. stream teenage dream (glee cast version)

[serqphites]

hiii i saw u needed requests to blurbs/ headcanons so here i am 🤭 could u write julien x reader where julien has a crush on a random youtuber (that like talks about books and stuff) and phoebe and lucy makes fun of julien bc she wasn’t this type of person before and then one day this bookworm youtuber says that she’s going to a boygenius show and julien tries everything to meet reader?

pls and thank u

i hope this isn’t too long

julien baker x yt!crush ღ

format: blurb

warnings: none!

a/n: i literally fell in love with this the second i saw it omg it’s so cute<3 been working on some anxiety comfort ideas but can’t choose a member of muna or boygenius to do first so if there’s one anyone would like to be first please do request it!! thank you so much for all the likes on my stuff it means the world 💞

okay so, the boys are on tour but tonight is a very special night for them becauseeeee… they have a night off!! they go out, have some nice dinner then decide to just chill in the tour bus for the rest of the night because they don’t need to wake up extra early to go to their next tour destination

so julien is in her lil bunk (pls i can just imagine how snuggled up she is) and she is so beyond bored

so what do you do when you’re bored? you browse tiktok until you fry your brain!!

she’s scrolling on her fyp not really bothering to actually watch through any of the tiktoks she's starting, that is until she sees…you

she mutters a barely audible “woah”

within a minute she’s followed you and is now stalking your whole account

cut to around 20 minutes later and she’s holding her phone sideways (pretty close to her face but not that close that she can’t see) watching one of your youtube videos.

this spiral continues until she is that exhausted she physically can’t keep her eyes open anymore

for the next few weeks this is her new routine: getting ready for shows watching your videos, buying your favourite books online and reading them on her phone when she gets the chance. she never falls asleep without watching at least one of your videos & a few tiktoks

one time she’s watching your newest video after having to wait a whole excruciatingly long day, she’s got headphones in, she’s never been so relaxed until…

you say you HATE people who read books online

“just buy the real book? why can’t people put down their screens anymore” and you’re clearly not being serious as you laugh and continue to joke about how all millennials are just taller ipad kids

but julien? it is no joke to her. in an instant she has removed her online books and has planned to go to the nearest bookstore when she’s next free and buy them all ‘for real’

i feel like the moment phoebe and lucy find out is SO FUNNY like i can picture them all sat together before a show, lucy just talking about the most recent book she’s been reading when julien chimes in with “oh yeah i just finished reading that, so good”

silence fills the entire room… phoebe and lucy share a look of horror

“where’s julien and what have you done with her??” phoebe would joke absolutely cackling with lucy about it

this is where the ‘bullying’ starts and never ends!

somehow they manage to convince julien to give them your name so now all of boygenius + katie gavin follow you on tiktok AND instagram

after seeing this you obviously have to make a tiktok about it. your favourite band members of all time just followed you back! you continue to rant and rave about it in your tiktok, also choosing to mention that you are seeing boygenius the following week and how crazyyy it is that they have followed you for a reason unbeknownst to you

this causes julien to go into panic mode. she was going to be performing to you NEXT WEEK

jump forward a week to the show, it’s going great! julien spent the whole day checking your instagram to see where you were at and when you’d be arriving. there’s barely and service in the venue, so unfortunately, her last update was a photo of you in the queue (she definitely took a screenshot because you look amazing)

so, they’re around 5 songs into the show, then she spots you. you’re standing only one row back from the barrier. julien can’t help but stare because you look beautiful

phoebe and lucy take notice of this but play it off cool. they share a menacing look before phoebe leans into the mic and says, “so, anyone got a crush right now?”

julien swears she nearly puked the second she heard that.

the conversation drags on for what feels like hours to julien when in reality it was only really around 5 minutes, majority of it being taken up by the crowd screaming in response to their several questions about crushes

it goes quiet for a second

“jb has a crush… she’s actually here tonight” the crowd starts SCREAMINGGG. people literally praying it’s them (so real)

julien has now sat on the floor of the stage with her face completely buried in her knees, lucy is still standing in front of her microphone dying with laughter over how embarrassed julien is getting.

little did she know though, it was about to get so much worse!!

lucy had dmed you the night before and basically just told you that julien had like changed her whole personality because of her crush on you. she also very sneakily organised for you to come backstage after the show and meet for the first time ever!

PLEASEEE imagine LUCY DACUS messaging you randomly and telling you that JULIEN MF BAKER HAS A CRUSH ON YOU.

lil time skip to that but imagine julien stood there fiddling with her fingers while she waits for you because she’s so nervous

you asking her the best books she’s read because of you<33

i can perfectly picture lucy and phoebe just stood there like ‘😁’ before having an “oh shit” moment and realising they’re intruding LMAO

your first date is to your favourite bookstore btw

I LOVE SOFT MASCS. (i am one)

a/n: this is my first blurb ever 😮 i’m so sorry i didn’t see this until now! hope you liked it :) again please feel free to send any other requests you have i love munagenius 🫶

[clouds-of-wings]

Emoji Kitchen is really the only good thing Google has done lately. Look at these beautiful masterpieces.

Happy because I listened to my brain instead of my heart today!

Okay, listened to my heart this time but it actually gave me some realistic advice!

Wearing sunglasses over prescription glasses, never really worth the trouble tbh.

Annoyed Nerd, this is needed as a regular emoji.

"A dog jumped on me, threw me to the ground, got all my clothes dirty. I could not be happier!"

The ultimate Millennial emoji.

When your crush gets out the edgelord humor again and you're not sure how you should feel about it.

So true #society #modernlyfe #peoplesuck

If you see this, even the crystal ball can't handle how dim your future looks

"Fuck this shit, art is too annoying, I'm going back to generating big tiddie manga girls on Unstable Delusion!"

"I hate working for Boeing, this happens every third flight!"

"At least I saved my karate clothes though, that's what matters. Fuck those passengers, they were rude anyway!"

Sure, why the fuck not!

"Ohhh hehehe but there's only one bed available! But wait, wasn't Destiel exposed to sex pollen earlier..? Yes, yes, I remember! Oh no, however will this night play out for them? hehehe"

"And then, and then Billy POOPED HER PANTS in front of the class and had to go to the nurse!! And we talked about it all through recess but Miss Susan said we weren't allowed to mention it again but we still did and then she got mad but she also got nice again."

The derivatives were risky but fuckin HELL they paid off when the stock started tanking!

Lovesick :(

Sure, why not :) Amanita snowboardita!

[seaslugfanclub]

Hello!! I love your Disney holo!villains, your writing style is just absolutely lovely!

Could I please request the reader fixing a meet-n-greet gone wrong with some of the less popular villains of your choice?? Can't imagine they take very well to being disregarded or unacknowledged...

No pressure and have a lovely day! 😁

It makes my day when one of my favorite Disney villain blogs asks for a request 😭 I hope I delivered!

Meet-N-Greet gone wrong

————————————————————————

It’s Meet-n-greet day at Disney! A perfect day for the resident narcissists to get their daily praise in!

(Y/N), who was assigned to supervise the event wasn’t concerned about the panel. Usually all the Villains acted on their best behavior, happy to receive any compliments from annoying millennials in $50 mouse ears.

This Meet-n-greet was a special event, where all villains including lesser known members where present. And even though they were to prideful to admit it, villains like Alameda, Medusa, Rourke, and Sykes where looking forwards to the event.

Before the panel, (Y/N) walked by their dressing rooms and noticed the extra care they took into getting ready.

Alameda pulling on a new pair of suede chaps, Medusa perming her hair as she did her nails, Rourke spritzed some of his favorite cologne, and Sykes made sure to choose some of his finest cufflinks. All minor details, but (Y/N) could tell how excited they where to receive some attention.

Unfortunately the meet-n-greet went like any other, with guests only being interested in the big bads. Cooing over their favorites, asking for autographs and photos. The whole works. All the while the other villains where cast to the sidelines, getting increasingly frustrated as the event went on.

(Y/N), taking notice of this, tried to bring a group of park goers over to the others, both as a way to keep the mainline villains from getting overwhelmed and to get some attention on the lesser known characters.

Unfortunately the guests where not interested..

“And this here is Alameda Slim! A master cow wrangler and genius yodeler from the 2004 film ‘Home on the Range’! He also tried to burn down a local Texas road house!” (Y/N) motioned up at the cowboy, who tilted his hat in pride.

“…what? Yodeling? That’s one of the worst sounds known to man, can we go back to the others, I wanna meet Jafar!” Some person in the group spoke up, with the others murmuring in agreement.

“Wuh- worst sounds!? I’LL SHOW YA WORST SOUNDS YOU LITTLE-”

The meet-n-greet dissolved into chaos as Alameda tried to lunge at the rude guest, who by some miracle didn’t get choked out as (Y/N) held him back with the combined effort of Rourke and Sykes.

Needless to say the panel ended early, with the excuse of the heat getting to the villains. Villains like Cruella and Gaston where pissed the praise ended so soon, while others like Hook and Hades were glad finally to be left alone.

Later that night, Alameda was brought out of his brooding when a quick knock came from his door, which revealed a smiling (Y/N).

(Y/N) dragged him downstairs into the employee break room, where he was met with his fellow villains, all sharing the same confused expression.

“Listen, I know that today was a shit show. And I’m sorry that it seems like no one acknowledges you. But I wanted to show you all something…”

(Y/N) proceeded to pull out their laptop from their work bag, opening it up as they motioned the villains to gather round.

“I wanted to show you all that there are people who love you guys, they’re entire blogs dedicated to you all from people across the world. I’m actually apart of some.”

Alameda and the others where shocked as (Y/N) shared with them all the fanart, ramblings, and imagines about them. Medusa jumped up and down in place pressing close to (Y/N) to get a better look at the screen. Rourke, who was never a fan of the internet grumbled to himself, but had an amused grin on his face.

Alameda felt the frustration of the day fade into obscurity as he guffawed at the things people where writing about him. At one point Sykes began to gag at some of the more.. suggestive content, which only led to more laughter from the group

The entire night was spent scrolling through the countless blogs, laughing and cringing until the laptop ran out of battery

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This was a little love letter to our community, you all are such talented creators and I’m so lucky to be apart of this small corner of the internet!

I feel like we would both traumatize and flatter Disney Villains if they saw what we write about them 🤣 Frollo would probably turn to dust