#the issue of making myself look better is that on days when i cant or dont feel like putting in the effort i feel so much worse than usual

[tumbler-dot-com-user]

why is being ugly low key traumatic 😭

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Rewatching “All 2 U” and under the contexts of how I personally perceived Stolas’s songs in “Look My Way” and “When I See Him” theres so much potential here for this to be actually interesting and its so far just being thrown away. In every song I have mentioned Stolas has moments where he stops and thinks “maybe I was the problem”.

Examples being:

"Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give; it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live"

"I will try to make amends for making you means to an end"

"Am I doing something I can't take back? Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner what kind of monster does that make me?"

"But maybe it's all on me for missin' every sign and every glance and every turn."

"Maybe there's somethin' here for us to glean for you to teach, and me to try to learn."

All of these imply so much that Stolas could be coming to the conclusion that he was one of the biggest issues in their relationship. Yes Blitz also hold fault, but thats a post for another day. I so truly believe Stolas could be so so interesting even if I personally think Helluva Boss should NOT be a romantic story, there’s still so much potential to it. I’ve mentioned before that I was in a very very similar relationship to whatever “Stolitz” is, and while I both hate my ex and how she treated me, it was not a one sided issue. Yeah she was abusive but also I can’t just say I wasn’t a bit rude at times. Getting off topic though, what I’m trying to say is even if one person is the main issue and you hate them, in certain circumstances you can still have part of your mind that wishes the best for them. I think my main point is that for people like my ex who have mental problems that get in the way of relationships and can result in abusive behaviours, I want the chance for them to see themselves in a character that has done the same things, recognized it, forgiven themselves, and made an attempt to be a better person.

I myself have been in many relationships where my mental problems got in the way and ended up separating me from people I care about in one way or another and I know how dogshit it feels when it happens, especially when you are the problem. Many people don’t like acknowledging that they may be the problem and then when they eventually do realise it, they struggle on trying to fix the issue.

This spans to the people you surround yourselves with as well. Just for example in “All 2 U” Stolas is not the first person to call Blitz a “motherfucker” he explicitly goes to “I don’t think you meant to hurt me” meanwhile Verosika and Tex push the implication that Blitz is the problem and during the rest if the song, as stated before, we see Stolas point out “maybe I was the problem” to which Verosika and Tex immediately but in with blaming Blitz instead. And honestly they have reason to (at least Verosika does and Tex is going by word of mouth I assume) but it plays into the idea that a bad person or abuser cant also be abused.

You can see every time Stolas considers something isn’t Blitz’s fault Verosika and Tex are so quick to step in and tell him he’s wrong. He’s just surrounded by yes people right now and i really believe thats something that could be used in the narrative. Stolas getting away from these people to take in reality and then finally be like “no it was me i was right about it”. And idk it could even lead into more Verosika development where she acknowledges that Blitz has now seen how shitty one-sided and abusive relationships can be and they talk more instead of just like 3 minutes on the stairs. This is a topic I touch on with my Vox rewrite but thats in a different way. I just think with so much buildup to Stolas realising he was a huge issue they could do so much helpful representation in certain ways for people with problems like BPD, bipolar, ROCD, and a bunch of other things. I suffer from the last two and I hardly EVER see these portrayed respectfully or how they actually affect people. It’s always just “im happy and then in 2 seconds im going to be mildly upset :(“ or “omgg I love cleaning!!” with OCD. It’s just so infuriating to see Vivzie not touch on so much potential again.

Also “stolitz” should not get back together even if Stolas became a better person, just to clarify.

[moongoopy]

The Fingernail Issue

c: gojo wasn't told of toji having a sibling leading him to wonder what kind of brother toji fushiguro was

c/w: Reader is adopted here, modern au, fluff, Toji's family are not a bunch of assholes, Reader is Toji's adoptive sibling, platonic and crack and humour ig

a/n: thought about this while making potato chips

"You have a sibling!? Why haven't you told us?"

"There was no need."

Toji slurped his noodles, ignoring the groan that he got from Gojo Satoru. Being in the same club with Gojo Satoru and a few other extras proved to be quite fun. He thought joining the basketball club with egocentric people would be infuriating but in this little group he managed to make friends suprisingly. He let Sukuna take his shrimp while he shrugs, right now; Gojo was quite adamant on getting to know his kid sibling that was in the same school as him, just two grades lower than him.

Geto slips in a joke if he wanted to court them or something since the white haired male next to him who was currently miming a camera with his two hands. Just the thought of another Fushiguro gave him the heebie jeebies, he was already offputting with how crass his personality was, his sibling would probably be the same. He gagged to Geto's comment, his hand on his chin when he thought about it.

"Unless, your sibling isn't a carbon copy of you and is way more better than you.."

Sukuna waved his hand to deny that sentence with a smirk and it received a nudge from Toji, they had this whispering thing they had going on to keep secrets away from Gojo and they giggle like two middle schoolers finding out about a dirty secret.

"Oh so you've met them, Ryoumen?" Nanami sipped his coffee, he had his notebook infront of him, consistently taking notes since he'd miss a day of school and its already biting him in the ass. The pink haired male shrugged, copying the same move as his friend that made Gojo click his tongue to.

"If you don't like them, why are you even curious?"

Gojo defended himself, "Its not that I dont like them, I barely met them. Its just that.."

Without noticing he painted an image of you even before seeing you in the flesh so maybe you weren't that bad. Gojo just cant imagine Toji having a sibling, would he be a doting brother? A strict one? Geto had stated stuff about dating and he barely batted an eye so it looked like to Gojo that Toji didnt really care about you but the next words that Toji said irked him.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind, Gojo. Mind sharing?"

Toji finished his noodles but thought of leaving some of the soup at the bottom, thats where all the seasonings sink to. Knocking his chopsticks into the bowl, he leaned forward to hear what Gojo had say. Gojo was the type to walk past the obvious and it was funny. Seeing THE Gojo Satoru struggle was entertaining.

"Nah, I'm good, I'll just see them myself." He bit on his lollipop, crunching up the last bits down his throat.

"Good luck finding them then," The black haired man got up from his seat with his tray and Gojo gasped. He hasn't even finished asking questions but knowing him, he loved avoiding questions like some personal torture he lets people go through.

"I'm bringing my mom to the clinic so I gotta run," Toji gruffly said, grabbing his jacket and he was so fast to slip away.

"Hey! Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse again? Me and Suguru legit saw Mrs. Fushiguro doing laps the other day!"

"Even did some cardio too.." Geto chuckled, remembering how Toji's mom proudly confessed how she had done a lot of stuff in one day. It made him smile while Gojo was sulking like a poodle beside him. Sukuna cleared his throat from eating and cleaned his plates up. He glanced at Gojo mischeviously.

"Well.. if you want to know one thing.." Sukuna dragged the silence a little longer before chuckling. "They're a bit of the same."

Sukuna too walks away, waving slyly to meet up for practise soon and Gojo scoffed. That sleazy bastard thought that information on you was new.

"That was sooo lame."

-------------

Toji had his hands on the wheel, listening to his mother talk about what should they have for dinner. In between talking about your favourites and if his dad was gonna come home, she recalled the days where you first came home.

Mama Fushiguro liked recalling this a lot and when many people were bored by this tale by now, Toji showed interest. He didn't admit though when he finally had a kid sibling in his house, he was actually pretty elated. The house was quiet on its own with himself but with you, it was like he had a friend.

When you are adopted, his peace wasn't disrupted at all but it was like yours was. You were in a completely new environment but not unfamiliar. You had been fostered before but he didn't pry into your past, there was no need to he thinks. It was normal for you to be distant even if his parents try to pry you out your shell like a cat with its nails stuck on the walls. You claw back to your comfort and wasn't all that talkative.

He didn't force you to talk or advise you on anything because it was clear you could handle yourself, you just like to keep to yourself more than his parents. But knowing this doesn't make the bond between you and him all the more stumped. He did attempted to eventhough his mother would nag about how it was barely anything; calling you down for dinner wasn't talking and hell, task dividing either!

Going to the same college didn't made you two any closer. He thought asking you about school was corny and didn't bother, he didn't really think much of it. By the tired look in your face, it was more than enough to know what you've been through but he was sure you stayed out of trouble because he made sure of that.

He took his usual route back to the car but realise you were a bit late. You weren't usually tardy, he was and even so you would still wait for him out of courtesy. He spun back around and thought of fetching you in an instant. Maybe now was the time he would open his mouth and talk to you.

There was a bit of a ruckus in one of the classrooms. If he didn't had sharp ears then he would've walked right past but that was one of the subject classes you attend and peeped in.

It was horrid.

He saw a bunch of hooligans messing up your notebooks and scraping it against the ground with their shoes. He recognized some of them as they squat at your level and taunt you.

It was some people in his fan club or whatever and he heard bits of how someone this puny couldn't be his sibling. You were clutching onto a bag and it wasn't just your bag that you were concerned of, the laptop that his parents gave were in it and the bag slides clean off and you were only protecting the laptop with your life. You didn't mind your keychains being ripped off and tossed about but amongst the stomping, the laptop was clutched tightly in your arms.

"Hey!"

His shout boomed across the room, shocking even you. You looked up to see your brother and he looked about ready to rip into the bullies with his bare hands. The group turned pale when they saw that their idol had caught them in the act of tormenting his little sibling and bit their tongue as their knees wobble.

The details of the lecture/threat of Toji wasn't heard as your ears buzz with fear. His touch made you snap back to reality, his rough hands helping you up gently and you wobble in your place.

"Holy shit.." You exclaimed in a huff to which he looked at you in an instant.

"You're really fucking loud when you're mad."

Silence settled to which the both of you laughed at in few seconds. This was the first time you didn't feel akward and commented so honestly. He patted your back and pick up your stuff, though soiled; atleast you were only shaken but unharmed.

The walk back to the car came naturally albeit a bit of limping in your step, you had twisted your ankle while running to catch the laptop before the others did and it sparked hellfire in Toji. His main priority now is atleast offering a crumb of comfort and heard out your reasoning for portecting a device rather than your skull.

"We could always buy you a new laptop,"

"I like the one now."

"Its not worth it breaking your skull in to protect it though."

To be honest, it wasn't about liking it. Just the big smiles on your adoptive parents' faces when they urged you to open the gift they bought you, it made your eyes all teary.

You weren't adopted before but you had to go through mean foster parents that had too much on their hands and that led to negliance to your needs. That led to several arguments and got you sent to the adoption center and it broke you, just the thought of connecting with another family made you numb.

But this family was so gentle with you. Even when you showed that there was no need for such kindness yet it wasn't that they coaxed you out of your shell but that they were so tender through their actions.

Toji notices the tears and scratches the back of his neck, he didn't read this in the big brother dummy book to know what to do if his little sibling cries. You had a distant look in your eyes before you realised you had reached the car with him.

Thankfully, both parents didn't notice the missing schoolbag or the agitated state that you're in. They were all smiles and Mamaguro was powdering on her face so it meant a family outing tonight.

You couldn't help but panic when you try to think of an explanation of your missing bag but Toji butted in on his parents conversations.

"Hey, Y/N wanted some ice cream before dinner, is that okay?"

Toji blurted out all of a sudden and you so badly wanted to deny it but he dug a deeper hole for you when the two agreed so quickly. They were excited that you finally requested something in a while and the car swerved to the nearest convenience store. Your brother adjusted himself in his seat, taking out his earphones and leaned a bit closer so the two infront won't hear.

"No worries, there's a store that sells bags beside the convenience store."

You huffed out a breath, your mouth feeling so dry and nodded to his words. He was a life saver.

Toji remembered how jittery you were when he suddenly made up some shit about you wanting ice cream that he couldn't help but chuckle outloud. The light from your eyes almost dimmed when you thought he would snitch on you. He parked close to the clinic, turning his back to grab an umbrella incase it rained. His mom pouted to his sudden chuckle and sighed.

"What are you laughing for? You're not ditching practise, yknow? You're going after you send me off at the clinic."

"Huh?" His mom showed a text conversation between her and Geto and scoffed. The lengths that man bun would go to have him show up at practise. That damn milf hunter-

-----------

"Hands up if your name is Y/N Fushiguro!!!" The class erupted in some noise upon seeing the popular duo stand near the doors of their class. When you heard your name being called, you reluctantly raised your hand; recognising who these two were.

The duo's faces fell for a moment, choking. Oh, you were adopted? Not in an offensive way obviously but Gojo might've heaved a sigh of relief. Atleast you weren't a splitting reflection of your brother, that would give him nightmares! Geto on the other hand realised why Toji would hide such a fact, an element of suprise if you will. He thought the two of them wouldn't find you out in an instant, did Toji thought so low of them? You raised a brow, wondering what they wanted.

They watched you walk out the classroom and Gojo adjusted his glasses. The graphic t-shirt and the style you had was a sublte influence from your brother.

"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

You had the exact relaxed expression like your brother except you slowly turn weirded out, why were they ogling you like this?

You took time to observe them head to toe subtly while Gojo yapped about the tale of how Toji didn't reveal that he had a younger sibling, they were lean and muscular and they had this obvious good cop bad cop duo energy. The white haired man sounded visibly upset that you were kept as a secret from the rest, was this some kind of facade to get to know you better? You shifted to one foot to another, stopping the music playing in your earpods and cleared your throat.

"Do you want to get with my brother or something orrr...?" Gojo didn't get to the point so you went straight in but due to their reactions, you might've miscalculated. Tilting your head, you pointed at Geto's painted nails and the earrings he had.

"And you.. are you two like gay or something?" You put your hands in defense, talking quickly before they get the wrong idea, "Hey, I don't discriminate. I just barely had any fans of my brother be male sooo..."

For once in their lives, Gojo was speechless and Geto had his eyes wide open like crazy.

One thing was for sure, anyting that was the apart of the Fushiguro family was a complete nightmare.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC characters x reader crying and the characters are trying to calm the reader down

TADC cast finding the reader crying!

WOOOOOO so sorry for not getting to requests sooner, i was busy today and caught up in doing a bunch of baking orders! yahoo! i made a buncha scones today and churros :)! i might make pretzels tomorrow for myself also ive never watched one piece but im absolutely obsessed with chopper VV

CAINE:

"now now my dear, what's wrong?" immediately takes you off to a private area away from prying eyes and ears. surprisingly a good listener, i mean he cares about you so so much, youre like. his number one, so of course hes going to be looking out for you. tries his best to cheer you up, regardless of whats making you so upset; another circus member, being overwhelmed, or your brain just being mean... this man would literally carry the world for you.. well a digital world, but the sentiment still stands i think..! just say the word and hes going to do whatever it takes to cheer you up!

POMNI:

very awkward comforter, i think i might have said this somewhere; in fact i may have had a similar request to this a while ago but i truly do not remember and i cant be bothered to look through the sea of TADC stuff ive written... but she would be SO bad at comforting people; like she just stands there before awkwardly patting your back. and thats assuming she goes through with the action, theres a solid chance she just. asks outright if youre okay in this nervous voice trying to be gentle. its not her fault i prommy, shes just bad at comforting people. offers to take you to her room so you have some privacy, kind of just lets you let it all out

RAGATHA:

again i might be biased for ragatha because ive really fallen in love with her since i opened up requests but she would be the absolute queen of comfort. speaks in a really soft voice as she takes you off to yours or her room, sets you down on the bed and lets you lean on her for support (metaphorically and literally!). gives you the softest blankets and pillows, and simply lets you pour your heart out. asks if you want comfort or solutions; because both have their time and place i think. sometimes you want solutions, and sometimes you just want pure comfort. ragatha gets it. and whichever one you want, shes going to deliver on it! will likely take it upon herself to try to solve the issue if its an external thing that made you upset. 10/10 love her

JAX:

believe or not i think he would be the type to try to confront the thing upsetting you yourself, especially if it was someone who had upset you. best way i can explain it is like. you know that one pizza episode of spongebob where squidward stands up for spongebob to that rude customer who made him cry? it would have the same energy, i think. asshole who actually has a heart stepping in to defend someone when there needs to be justice type deal. now if he was the one who made you upset, say by one of his pranks, then it might take him a minute for the guilt to kick in but it would be there... eventually. does feel bad, tries to cheer you up and does try to apologize, i think

KINGER:

oddly enough i think he would be up there in terms of how good he is with comforting people! i say odd because he seems so out of it a lot of the time. but i think the second he sees your tears hes just laser focused. very similar to ragatha in terms that he takes you away and lets you speak. to the pillow fort! lets you cry into the fur of his robe, too... rubs circles into your back. this man carries the same level of comfort that sweet old people carry, if that makes sense. the type of person so say "ive got you" when comforting someone, i think

ZOOBLE:

has to do a double take when they see you crying. like pomni i think theyre bad at comforting... but not as much, if that makes sense. if it was someone who had made you upset, they probably try to tell you that they arent worth the time of day and that youre better than them. strikes them with the curse of them also giving you awkward back and shoulder pats, but its even more awkward and uncomfortable because they have weird hard plastic hands. look, ok. theyre trying, theyre likely trying their best too- honestly i think their main form of comfort is talking shit about the person or thing that made you feel bad

GANGLE:

honestly she might cry with you. admittedly i dont see gangle herself being the best comforter when someone is crying; especially if its someone she cares so deeply about. i think like everyone else, she would gently take her hands in yours and guide you off to the side so you can have some privacy and decency. she does try her best to try to cheer you up; and i think that she would have better luck with it if her comedy mask isnt broken! but if it is, its likely that shes going to cry with you. probably leads to vent sesh between the two of you where you vent to one another and cry. hey, that works too, i think! not to say that she is trying to purposefully trying to make it about herself too, but like. her way of empathizing with you. "oh hey we're both having a bad day, let me show how i can relate to you so you feel less alone" type deal

[pookieismissing09]

ok guys i never post on here but heres my take on the sturniolo space camp situation if anyone gives a fuck

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ EVERYTHING NO ONE WILL PROB SEE THIS ANYWAY 💀 ill prob delete this icl its just a lil rant 🥰🥰

and if u disagree with me idc im just expressing my opinions 😭 read the whole thing so i can justify myself before u start attacking me

before i say anything im not just sticking up for nick just because im a fan of the triplets. like some people are only sticking up for him because they hate to admit that he would ever lie or do anything wrong- and they’re defending him with no reasoning other than “he would never 🥺” like stfu. what im saying is that i don’t know for sure whether the ‘bee better’ guy is telling the truth, for all i know he might be chatting utter shit. but if he is telling the truth, then im saying that i understand nick lied but its not necessarily a negative thing.

so like first of all i dont see the issue with nick not being the founder of the brand. like yes i understand its ‘morally wrong’ to lie and its misinformation but i think we will live… it doesnt make any difference to the products or the people who buy them. like ik people say that they only bought it to support nick and they wouldn’t have bought it if they knew it was just some random brand, but its not just some ‘random brand’- they are still supporting nick cos he gets payed for advocating it. by purchasing the products, theyre keeping the brand afloat which means nick will get payed for being the ‘face of the brand’ and doing a good job at advertising. or in simple terms, even if nick isnt the founder of the entire brand he is still a huge part of the company and is definetly getting a fat bag from all of this. like yall are acting like you wouldnt lie if a company said they would pay you to do so- bffr we would all do what nick did.

and the other main thing is everyone is complaining about the price all of a sudden. like if you are all protesting about how nick has nothing to do with the origin of the brand then surely he also wouldn’t be able to control the price? so according to everyone saying the lip balms are not his idea, don’t be mad at nick for the ridiculous pricing if he apparently ‘had nothing to do with it in the first place‘. and aside from that, the pricing literally had nothing to do with the fact that he lied about being the founder- it would probably cost the same either way so why are people only getting worked up about the pricing now that he is being ‘exposed’? like honestly people are just looking for excuses to say he’s a bad person like what 😭

and ik this doesnt have anything to do with spacecamp, but in general these days everyone is saying how the triplets don’t put any effort into their content anymore and only do it for the money. i think you are forgetting that youtube is their full time paying job. doing youtube as a hobby and doing it as a career are completely different- and most people find that when they pursue their hobbies as a career choice they start to enjoy it less since they feel under pressure to perform a certain way (and don’t come at me for saying that because im “babying” the triplets, piss off).

put it this way, people that have high paying jobs that sit in an office all day don’t do that type of work for their enjoyment- they only work in that environment because they want to receive a larger income instead of having an enjoyable job with a poor wage. this is exactly the same as the triplets’ situation, i doubt very much that they actually do youtube for their personal enjoyment. at the end of the day they have to pay the bills and youtube is their only job- its not always going to be fun like it used to be (both for them and for us watching).

and for all of you thinking ‘well they shouldnt be youtubers if they cant entertain people’ you have to understand that getting a different job takes time. like the whole process of finding a career, interviewing etc. and as well as that, they are probably terrified to even consider looking for another career because of their batshit crazy fans (including me 💀). like can we just cut them some slack and let them get on with their job 😭. and at the end of the day they cant just stop being youtubers, they will never be able to live their lives as regular people now that they have created their platform- i doubt they will ever do anything else bc of the fear of being recognised in public whilst they are doing a more “normal” job.

and for the love of god this is NOT me saying that the triplets are gonna quit youtube. like i said, its their full time job. im just giving my opinion on people saying they are only doing it for the money- and quite honestly they are, but is that really such a bad thing? like im sorry but they aren’t just posting for our entertainment, they need money one way or another.

also is anyone else excited for the stream later like i hope nick will say something about all this and not just stay quiet until it all blows over

i think thats all i was gonna say i cant remember but if theres more then i will say 😘😘😘 sorry i waffle alot

[actualbird]

Hello! a bit nervous going into college moving out and all but what are your tips/advices/pet peeves…although its comforting to think that in this day and age Luke and Rosa had to deal the same stuff im dealing right now?! 🥹 -2006 bby

hi anon!! unfortunately i am NOT the best person to ask this question at all because i never moved out for college. in fact, ive never moved out in my life 😭 im filipino, we tend to not move out unless we get married or whatever sklbfksjfbdjsf

but i can give general tips for college i think!! it's been a while since i was a college student myself, so these tips are gonna be vague as hell though OTL

do your readings, do your papers, do your homework, dont use chatgpt or get someone else to write your stuff etc etc etc. if you made it to college that is a privilege and you shouldnt waste it!! take all the oppurtunities you can to learn and better yourself, college is the best time to do a lot of development in the brainzone and the skills you built in doing these will definitely be useful later on when youre looking for a job.

get into organizations or clubs or extracurriculars and whatnot, if you can handle it! you can develop in a whole lot of ways, not just academically. plus, it's a great way to meet new people too.

jumping off from that last bullet, definitely make time and reserve effort for meeting new people!!! which can be scary, but i met a lot of friends who are dear to me in college. i also met my girlfriend there! so take a chance and get to know the people you see every day, you may end up meeting some really cool people you'll cherish for a long time.

try to be honest with your professors if mental health stuff or other issues are getting in the way of your performance at school. i know there are Terrible professors out there, but in my experience, they are outnumbered by the professors who just genuinely want to see you do your best and graduate. if you cant handle something for good reason, send em an email. try to work with your professors and not against them.

dont be scared to change your mind. if you chose a major but halfway through you realize you want to shift studies? go for it, if your circumstances permit. you might as well follow your gut instead of regretting the decision you didnt make

i hope this helps!!! also, good god, you were born in 2006???? and youre 18 now????????? thats bonkers. that doesnt sound allowed. holy shit.

[homesickwhispers]

showtime. (chapter 07.)

wordcount: 3.1K 🤍

chapter plot: Ella helps Van with his gear and after a sucessful soundcheck, they share an intense conversation.

chapter song: soundcheck - catfish&thebottlemen.

Each day that passed, the moments with the band got more and more intense. Turns out that quick soundcheck last week had unveiled more issues than we’d anticipated.

The band was eager to return, but the industry had its challenges, and tensions were running high among them.

The workload for Catfish kept increasing, forcing me to cut back on my shifts at the Happiness House almost entirely.

Roger stepped in to help find a replacement waitress, which was a relief. The Happiness House had been my stepping stone to this opportunity, and I wasn’t ready to let go of it entirely.

But this felt good.

It felt good being useful. Feeling like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I was responsible for keeping the band and crew organized. This included handling food and drinks, arranging transportation, troubleshooting equipment, and managing schedules.

And of course, in the middle of all this, me and Larry got progressively close. It was insane how in two weeks he was probably one of the closest friends I’ve had since moving.

We respected each other’s work, and eventually he even allowed me to help with the guitars and instruments, something I was initially nervous about.

The other crew members were still a work in progress. I mean they were all ok. None of weren’t as difficult as Archie had been, but they clearly saw me as a potential threat.

Being the only woman in a group of 24 men came with its own set of challenges. I knew I didn’t have all the answers, but I had to project confidence so they could do their jobs effectively.

I could see they were respectful, but also doubtious at the same time, and that was okay. No trust is gained this quickly and I was willing to show them I deserved to be here. That I was an equal to them.

The band was obviously sweet. Bob, Benji and Bondy were the best. I didnt spoke to them as much but I didnt need to do that to know they were supporting me.

Their shy smiles and pats in the back were all I needed.

And of course there was Van.

I’ve been avoiding staying in the same room as him since our last talk to prevent me from spiralling.

Keeping myself professional was never a harder task.

Every time he came closer I would instantly find something to work on, preferably far away from him.

Because when I didnt move, he’d just stay there next to me, asking me about my day while drinking something.

Even with the comeback nerves Van kept being very talkative and positive and I didn’t know how to deal with that.

Maybe if he was just a cocky, rockstar, it would be better to keep my feelings in check.

“Ey, I cant hear myself, lads.” Van said while tapping his in ears.

A crew member that I recognized after as Jamie was right beside him with a confused expression.

“You’re all set, Van. This should be working. “

I watched the situation from a safe distance until Bob called my name.

“Ella! Can you do that thing you did with mine?”

A few days ago I helped Bob fix his in ear in a quick second mid-song. An old trick I learned on the road during my first tour.

“You’re asking her to help? D’ya even own one of these?” James asked looking at me in an accusatory manner but then realized he was in front of other people, making his tone a bit softer now. “Nothing personal lass, its just not great for.. unexperienced people to mess around with the in ears, these are all expensive. “

I stood there in shock for a second but quickly got back to my senses. “I’m not messing around, I was a roadie too, James but I’m not here to argue either. Feel free to check Bob’s in ear if you’d like.”

“Let her, Jamie. It’s okay mate.” Van said looking at me while placing a hand on James’s shoulder as if to keep him still while I worked.

“Thanks, Van. Excuse me.”

“All yours, love.” He said chuckling softly as I stepped closer to him. His gaze following my every move while I checked his pack and forced a reset so it could connect properly. My hands trembled a bit, my body still not used to his proximity.

“There.” I said connecting the wires back and handing him the in ears. His long fingers brushing into mine made me shiver, but I kept the posture.

“Try now, please.”

“Hello?” Van smiled as he heard back his voice. “You’re a proper genius, aren’t ya? Thank you love.” He said stroking my cheek gently and focusing his attention back to the stage. “Okay, let’s get this thing started shall we?”

The band naturally came to their usual positions and the rehearsal started again.

I tried to breathe while my heart was beated faster because of Van’s unexpected touch.

“So he likes you, then?” Jamie didnt left my side since I fixed Van’s gear, watching my moves closely.

“Van’s nice to everyone. It’s not just me.”

“I don’t think so, Gonzales. But help yourself.” He said leaving my side. “Just be careful.”

“Of what?” My eyes narrowed .

“You know..Van can act like a nice guy and all but he is still just, you know, just a guy….”

“I don’t think I follow you here. What are you implying?”

“All I’m saying is. When Van wants something, he will get it. And he likes you. Just try not to give into this pressure, you here for your job after all and I know you’d hate to lose that.”

“I.. I understand.” I said, a wave of sadness rushing through my body.

My heart sank as Jamie walked away.

How was that possible? In less than a week, two people had already warned me about Van.

Not only were they warning me about him, but they’d noticed. Our little interactions were catching everyone’s eyes, and I needed to be more careful than ever.

This was my chance. My only chance to prove myself, and as much as I hated to admit it, Archie was right. I was letting my guard down.

I needed to stay professional.

But as Van caught my eye from across the room and gave me a small, knowing smile, I couldn’t help but wonder how long I could keep those lines from blurring.

The soundcheck wrapped up better than expected, a rare occurrence these days. The band played through their set smoothly, and for the first time in a while, there were no arguments, no missed cues, just music.

Our group finally seemed in sync for the first time after days of tension and I could sense a noticeable shift in the air as the guys packed up their gear, the stress of the week easing away.

Bondy chuckled as the boys left the stage. “About time. I thought we’d never get through that last part without a fight.”

They were practically glowing with satisfaction, their earlier tensions fading away.

“That’s more like it!” Van grinned, slapping Bob on the back. “First good soundcheck in a while deserves a drink. I say we celebrate. Pub?”

Bob nodded. “Definitely. First round’s on me.”

The others were already gathering their things, ready to celebrate the small victory, when Van looked over at me.

He had barely taken his eyes off me since the soundcheck, and each glance made it harder to maintain my cool.

“We should all go,” Van added casually, though his gaze drifted my way again. “You too, Ella. You’re our soundcheck hero after all.”

I blinked, caught off guard. His voice was light, and though his tone was casual, there was something unreadable in his eyes—something that made my stomach flip.

I hesitated, unsure if being around him in a more relaxed setting was a good idea, especially in a moment like this, but before I could find a reason to refuse, Larry nudged me “C’mon, Ella. You need to have some fun too, we couldn’t be here without our miracle worker.”

I forced a smile. “Sure. Why not?

“Good,” Van said, stepping closer. His eyes flickered to me briefly before landing back on the others.

“Y’all get settled and then we go.”

I nodded and made my way to the back of the venue, trying to calm my nerves down.

Cardiff castle was a great place to work. There were a lot of open areas where I could just breathe and stay in touch with the breeze and the sun.

But somehow, everywhere I went, Van seemed to find his way there. I didn’t know if I felt annoyed, overwhelmed or just flattered at the way he was always following me around.

All I know is that at this point, we both got used to comfortable silence.

And that was the problem with him.

Even the silence was comfortable enough for him to never leave my side.

When we were together, it seemed like we knew each other for years. It seemed like the words didn’t even need to be there. Because we already knew what was going through each other’s mind.

And that was dangerous. We were one step away from making things a mess.

I refused to ever say anything. Van was the talker and he wasn’t talking right now, so for a few peaceful seconds we were just enjoying each other’s company.

“That was really cool, what you did there with my gear.” Van says, leaning back slightly, his voice casual but appreciative. “It’s perfect now.”

“Oh, thanks.” reply, feeling a little flustered by the compliment. “I’m glad it’s working well.”

“Where did you learn that?.”

There he was again. The talker.

“I was a roadie once. My first tour.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re a tough one, huh? How old were you?”

“I was 17.”

“Wait, how old are you today?”

“I’m 22.”

“Holy shit, you’re a baby,” he says, laughing as if it’s the most shocking revelation.

I roll my eyes, trying not to let his words get to me. “Don’t say that… you were already doing music at this age.”

“Yeah, true,” he admits with a smirk, “and I was a fucking shithead back then.” He laughs again, but this time it’s almost self-deprecating. “You handled it way better than I ever did, Gonzales.”

I shrug, feeling a little awkward. “You were not a shithead, you were just… young and famous. I probably would’ve screwed up too if I were in your position.”

Van shakes his head with a grin, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve done a lot of screwing up, love. You wouldn’t come close to the kind of damage I’ve done.”

My curiosity flickers at that, and before I can stop myself, I ask, “Is there anything you didn’t do?”

He pauses, glancing up as if trying to recall something. “I mean… there must be.”

“Come on,” I tease, nudging him lightly. “You can’t think of anything you still want to do before you die?- If Van could ask questions, why couldn’t I? I knew he appreciated when I let my guard down, so for once I did.

Van grins, looking almost boyish for a second. “I want to play in stadiums someday.”

I smirk. “Well, that’s closer than you expect, Van. And also a very predictable answer.”

He leans in, narrowing his eyes playfully. “Alright, alright, your turn now, Gonzales. What’s something you want to do once before you die?”

I hesitate, feeling the weight of the question settle on my chest. “I don’t know… Never thought of that, to be honest. I can’t really afford to take risks.”

His expression softens, but he’s still not convinced. “Everyone should take risks, Ella.”

I smile sadly. “My biggest risk was leaving my country to be here. I think I’ll still be recovering from that for a few years now.”

“I get it,” he says, his voice quieter now, less teasing. “But you’re here, and you’re good. Why not let yourself have some fun? You’re always so uptight.”

I shrug, feeling a little exposed under his gaze. “It’s hard for me… to let go. I don’t like this environment. It’s very unknown to me.”

Van tilts his head, studying me with curiosity. “Oh, come on, you’re telling me you’ve never messed around with anyone?”

I laugh at the way he says it. “Messed around? Is that what you call it now?”

“Yeah, you know… just, like, let loose for once.”

I shake my head. “Not really. I’ve never even kissed anyone, if you care to know.”

His eyes widen, genuine surprise crossing his face. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

I let out a small laugh, shrugging. “I mean, I’ve been kissed before, but I never kissed anyone. I’ve never initiated anything. It’s not really in my nature.”

He blinks, taking that in. “Wait… so you’ve never wanted to, like, make the first move?”

I can feel my cheeks heating up, and I look away, feeling a little embarrassed. “It’s not that I’ve never wanted to… I guess I’m just more reserved. I don’t know how to be… bold like that. How to take risks.”

Van watches me, and for a moment, neither of us says anything. There’s a shift in the air between us, something heavier than before. His eyes flicker with an intensity that makes my pulse quicken, and I can tell he’s processing what I just said.

But instead of making a joke or teasing me, he just nods thoughtfully, like he’s finally understanding a part of me I hadn’t shared before.

“Well,” he says softly, his voice losing some of its usual bravado, “maybe it’s not about taking risks. Maybe it’s just about… finding the right moment. Or the right person.” He says as he lifting my face forcing me to stare at him

“Yeah, well I guess I’ll have to keep looking then” I say it as a joke but Van doesn’t laugh, doesn’t push. He just watches me, the smirk fading as his eyes soften, searching my face.

“You don’t have to wait, Ella” he says quietly, leaning just a little closer, his breath brushing my cheek. “Not if you don’t want to.”

I feel a knot tighten in my chest.

Was he suggesting that I kissed him? Right there? In the middle of the venue?

Van leans in slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. he says, his voice low, teasing. "sometimes… the right person’s already in front of you."

What the fuck?

My heart almost stopped beating.

"You’re crazy Van. Crazy You’re forgetting where we are," I say, raising an eyebrow at him. "This is work, remember? You’re basically my boss.” I say pushing him softly.

He grins, the playful spark back in his eyes. "Work or not, doesn’t change what I want, Gonzales."

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “And what exactly you want with me, huh?”

His smirk returns, and he leans in just enough for his breath to graze my skin. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He says it playfully, but his eyes hold something deeper.

“Should I be flattered?” I say taking making my way to the closest wall I could find to lean in.

Van chuckles, taking a small step closer, his eyes locked on mine. “Depends. Do you like being wanted?” His voice dips lower, and I feel a shiver run down my spine, despite my best efforts to stay composed.

I shake my head, my voice quieter than I intended. “Not really, no”

Van’s chuckle fades as he tilts his head, his gaze never leaving mine. His smirk is still there, but now it feels softer, more curious. “Not really, huh?” he asks, his voice lower, more serious than before. “You don’t like being wanted?”

I shift uncomfortably under his stare, feeling the weight of the moment pressing on me. “I’m cool just being on my own,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “Being wanted… it’s complicated. Expectations, pressure, it’s not something I need.”

He’s quiet for a moment, his playful attitude fading entirely. “I get that,” he says, stepping back slightly but still close enough that I can feel the heat between us. “But you don’t have to handle any of that with me. No pressure, no expectations.”

I scoff, though it’s more out of nerves than anything else. “Easier said than done, Van. It’s not that simple. What happens when people start talking? Two weeks here, and I’m already… what, in your bed? This is not me, Van. I don’t doubt you’re all those great things everyone says you are..but I’m not here to prove them right.” The words come out harsher than I intend, but I can’t help it. This is all too much, too fast.

Van’s expression softens, and he lets out a breath, stepping back to give me space. "Who cares what people say?" He shrugs, leaning back casually, but there’s an edge of frustration in his tone. "I’m not here for them."

"You should care," I point out, keeping my voice firm but light, trying to remind him of the reality we’re in. "You’re famous, and I’m just a girl trying to do my job without becoming gossip fodder. I think you like pushing limits just to see how far you can go."

He flashes me a grin. "Maybe. But you’ve got pretty strong limits yourself, don’t you?"

"Someone has to keep things professional around here," I shoot back.

Van leans in again, his voice dropping a little lower, a bit more serious. "And what if I don’t want to keep it professional?"

I glance at him "Then we’ve got a problem, don’t we?"

Van’s smirk falters for a second as he holds my gaze. “A problem,” he repeats softly, the playful edge in his voice gone, replaced by something deeper. He leans in a little closer, the space between us suddenly feeling way too small.

I force myself to stay calm, even though my heart is racing. “Yeah,” I say, keeping my tone light but firm. “You might not care about what people say, but I do. I worked hard to get here, Van. I can’t afford to let things get complicated”

He lets out a small sigh, leaning back but never breaking eye contact. “I get it,” he mutters. “I do. But sometimes… I just wish it didn’t have to be this hard, you know?”

I give him a soft smile, trying to ease the tension. “That’s life, right? And besides, we’ve got a good thing going. Let’s not mess it up.”

Van shakes his head, a small smile tugging at his lips again. “You’re too smart for your own good, Gonzales. It will kill us both.”

“I guess so,” I tease, shrugging. “But you need someone around to keep you in check.”

He laughs, the sound soft but genuine. “You’ve got a point there.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes softening again as he looks at me. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I feel my breath hitch, but I keep my face neutral, refusing to let him get to me. “What are you saying right now? There’s plenty of girls who would die to be in your bed. Why are you wasting your time with an uptight roadie?

Van leans back slightly, his eyes narrowing just a bit, but the teasing smile never leaves his face. “That’s just it, though,” he says softly, his voice dropping to a more serious tone. “I don’t want any of those girls. I’m not interested in someone who’s easy or only sees me for what I am on stage.”

I let out a breath, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to stay guarded. “And you think I’m different?

He gestures vaguely around the bus, his eyes softening. “You’re real, and you’re here because you love what you do. You’re stepping away from me because you want this life more than anything. That’s why I want to be around you. I’m drawn to people who love this as much as I do, and trust me, Gonzales, there aren’t many of those out there.”

“You’re a proper charmer aren’t you? All these words and all. Well I appreciate the compliment, but I appreciate being coworkers more, do you think we can do that?”

Before he leaves, he smiles and presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “Coworkers or more..just know I’ve got you,” he whispers, his tone reassuring.

“Thanks, Van, I don’t want to be a bitch, it’s just more complicated than it seems.”

“Maybe one day you can tell me more about that.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

He walked away and my heart stopped when I remembered I still agreed to the pub later.

Fuck, Ella.

[invertedrat]

what do i do when life keeps fucking with me like this and i cant kms? at this point im not even sure cuz now even the smallest of thibgs are going wrong on top of all the big issues. its rlly getting to me. i mean it. i wish i didnt cry almost every day, i wish i was right for once, i wish i didnt look the way i look, i wish i could make better music, i wish that when i looked in the mirror i felt no sadness, i wish i didnt feel miserable, i wish i didnt annoy everyone, i wish i had a better personality, i wish i wasnt depressed, i wish i didnt have social anxiety, i wish i didnt always embarrass myself, i wish my mom was better, i wish me ans my mom had more money, i wish we weren't slowly running out of money, i wish my mom would dtop using the money on herself and get me something valuable (not some 5 dollar shit), i wish i was a better daughter, i wish i wasnt so problematic, i wish i had a better family, i wish i could see my family again, i wish i didnt have that scar from 8 years ago, i wish i had a better sleep schedule, i wish i wasnt getting sick from not sleeping anoigh, i wish i didnt do that thing 2 weeks ago, i wish the scenarios i wrote in my head were real, i wish i was like them, i wish every time someone saw me they wouldnt tell me i need more sun, i wish i didnt care about what others think, i wish i had a better grip on reality, i wish i took better care of myself, i wish i could stick to those things i say, i wish my mind wasnt fucked up, i wish i didnt hate my smile, i wish i could just do something right for once, i wish i could understand things better, i wish i had more access to the stuff other kids do, i wish i didnt always fuck up things knowing i would fuck it up, i wish so many more things (that i will continue to add to the list) i wish oh i wish that my life was better.

im too tired for this.

[kei-maki]

Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, please. I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk (I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids even though if they can be annoying i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more LOL.

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like just flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, 1 have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on, I’ve also been told I look like choso (JJK) and dazai osamu (BSD).

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages (look in my bio hehe) and I'm learning more right now (which is hindi, vietnamese and taglong if your interested).

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: all of them, LOL. (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving).

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

IM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGG

But based on the information you’ve given me, I match you up with…

🐤❤️Lucifer ❤️🐤

I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM BUT I HAD HIM IN MIND BEFORE YOU SAID THAT, LET ME EXPLAIN

- First of all, would go shopping with you if you ever asked if he wanted to, might be a bit skidding since it’s you know, OUTSIDE, but if it’s for you he’ll do it

- Doesn’t care what you’re wearing, he thinks you look amazing regardless and will heavily praise you

- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E Spoon him, especially since you’re taller, he will literally melt in your arms, whisper sweet nothings into his ear before bed while you do and he’ll start crying from feeling so loved

- Honestly pick him up and he won’t even question it, he’ll just be like “oh ok”

- Will definitely show off his wings to compensate for the height though

- He has given you a duck of every kin you listed, and overall just for everything you like or represents something you like, all presents, he just came up to you blushing, like a penguin with a rock, one day and was like “here” and he hasn’t stopped since, and probably never will

- I feel like speaking of presents, that’s a good transition into love languages. This man will gladly accept all of them and definitely needs it. As everyone can tell he needs words of affirmation and physical touch he is touch starved, so like previously said, hold him and tell him he’s the best and he’ll melt. And gifts? If you’re from you they’re the best thing in the world, even if it’s something like a cracker with a flag on it he’ll call it cute and share it with you. Will spend all his time with you, being the shut in he is, and is beyond grateful for you helping around the palace, it helps take away the thought of some of his responsibilities so he can just rest and spend time with you

- As for YOU he will definitely return the favor, always telling you you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, that you’re his entire life, all while constantly cuddling you and peppering kisses all over your face, and giving you the most extravagant things He’ll has to offer, but if that’s too much for you? Don’t worry, how’s a chocolate scented cat shark plushie sound? Or how about that new manga volume you told him about that you wanted?

(Something like this visually for the plushie)

- I feel like he doesn’t like loud noises either (unless HES the loud noise, which might cause problems between you two), so he’s got noise canceling headphones at the ready to summon at a moment’s notice

- Movie/show date nights watching any anime, kdrama, or hopelessly romantic movie you want

- Will make your tea for you (and will spill it in regards to the hotel of course)

- Info dump to him and he will gladly listen, engraining every single detail to memory, asks questions and shows genuine interest as well

- With you both being mischievous and playful, and you having a contagious laugh, I can see many laughing fits over the silliest of things

- If you spoil him with gifts his heart will flutter, it’s usually the other way around

- Not at all afraid to show you off either, all the PDA in the world. Want to hold his hand? (I’ll take that hand now-) He has four now so he can do that AND hug you, no one has a doubt in their minds that you’re together, he will proclaim his love to you with a 99 power point slide on the News with no hesitation

- Will honest on his fathers name kill anyone who makes you feel like shit or like you have to hide your wonderful personality. That double Hell comment Angel made in the pilot? Yeah, that’s what’s gonna happen if ANYONE messes with you

And… I think that’s it? Lmk if you want more though! I’m not sure if this was long enough ;-; but I hope you enjoyed it! This was actually pretty fun to do!

[lovecuprite]

why cant we all just get along. its just tumblr at the end of the day. its never that serious. im not understanding the discourse between whatever you and these other authors got going on. it makes no sense.

im sorry that fingers are getting pointed. but don’t even engage and don’t even entertain them. delete and move on. there’s no point in entertaining them. thats what they want. obviously they are bored with their life and have nothing better to do. so they just stir the pot, its pathetic if you ask me.

i know it sounds like im attacking you. trust, thats not my intentions whatsoever. the others will be hearing from me as wether they want to or not. whatever happened to when tumblr used to be a place where people could write about their favs and call it a day. why are people getting bent outta shape, creating cliques, and harassing people. all because of damn boredom.

once again, its never that serious. we have bigger issues to worry about. its time to grow tf up, and stop pointing fingers and be the bigger person.

i agree, it's tumblr, it's not that serious, which is why we're laughing about the lengths she's going to.

i've already decided that whenever she messages me now, i'm going to ignore her. if you're not attacking me, i hope you sent one to her, since she's the one responsible for it all

there is a 58 page doc on everything she did, including harassing people, making fake accounts to hate on people, impersonate etc.

she has had other accounts too, such as miguelism/startitties

if you look those up, you'll see more harassment there because every account she has, she does the same thing.

this isn't a simple block and move on, when she has 5000 alts and will probably go as far as making fake accounts to hate on people calling her out again.

so it's all well & good telling me to 'grow tf up' but if she wants to embarrass herself, she can go right ahead. i'm merely calling her out, because some people are still unaware that miss playing the victim is actually the problem.

also, it's very easy for people to say that when they're not the ones being spammed over several weeks.

right now, i haven't posted any writing but it's unrelated to this, it's because i'm busy.

edit:

was half asleep when i typed this so i forgot to mention what abby/webism has mentioned in the comments:

she was in several people’s inboxes trying to get people to think i was her.

so sorry that i don’t want people to think i’m a crazy psycho that did all the things she did and that i had to defend myself 🩷

[crowleys-hips]

2, 10, 22 and 24 for the ask game! Hope you're having a good day 💙

elloo thank youu i hope you're having a good day too 🐍

2. What was it that drew you to Good Omens, and what was it that sucked you into the fandom?

*breaks down sobbing lungs burning chest contracting heaving shuddering gasping for breath mascara running down my cheeks snot dripping from my nose* ahem sorry needed a little moment of drama it's all cool now dw about me im absolutely hella gucci never been better 😎 anyway where were we oh yea

when i was a teen i used to sort of like this one author but i can't remember the name for some reason, i just kinda remember picking up literally every single thing of his i could get my hands on, i mean, super casually, i wasn't obsessed or anything. and so i saw his name on the title, saw it had a demon and an angel and something about Armageddon and then i blinked and had somehow consumed the whole thing.

then flash forward to 2019, i see ohh they made a series of that one book i kinda sorta very casually liked a normal amount. and then i shrugged and never watched it bc they didn't look the way they had looked in my head and i had a Very Serious Issue w that apparently. then last year i got covid and i was really bored and i didn't know what to watch and i came across that one show tumblr was losing their minds about for some reason, so i went ugh fine i'll watch it. and then i relived the worst heartbreak of my whole life through a much more brutal dramatization and i was left in pieces, clutching my chest, crying on the floor, begging the universe for mercy. so naturally, like a very normal person, i went, "damn i need to watch this whole thing again 10 thousand more times until i memorize the dialogue word for word" and came on tumblr to scream into the void about it. and so here i am, continuing the lovely tradition of breaking hearts with unhinged poems and occasionally making memes friends will later find reposted on pinterest and instagram 🤡

10. What traits do you share with Crowley?

Yes well first the dumbassery and the unfortunate habit of shooting myself in the foot, le dépression, constantly in alert mode, cant for the life of me ever sit like a normal person, sunglasses out in public always bc my vampire ass is allergic to light, clothing only exists in black, antes muerto que sencillo ✨ (sooner dead than a simple hoe) flash bastard, blasting Queen, horrible plant dad, former raging alcoholic, Aziraphalesexual, drama queen, in fucking pieces 🪦

22. Bildad The Shuhite: hot or not?

look i can see the appeal, but personally i wouldn't fuck him

24. Who would you choose to run off to Centauri with?

you guys keep asking me this as if i even know other people lmao anyway. my answer is still: a copy of The Awakening by Kate Chopin. iykyk 🖤 if not and you wish to find out, get tissues

thanks for the asksss! this was fun to write lmao

[obsessedwithceleste]

HII i saw you doing this for another person so likeee bet (if i can tho <3)

i’m 5’5 with curly-ish hair that falls to my shoulders (i want it to grow out more tho) im a natural brunette (kind of dark) with brown eyes. im also a white hispanic so like yeah

my style is like downtown girl-ish but kind of more edgy? also things with red and hearts in them. I LOVR CLOTHES LIKE THAT BRO but it kind of depends on my mood too. ny go two styles are downtown and baggy clothes tho

i dont wear bold makeup, but i do wear dark to match my looks yk? so normally mascara, light blush, dark lipstick that kind of match my lips but are more redish. i also dont like glittery stuff so😭

i have adhd too so i could talk about everything and anything. i tend to interrupt people a lot which might make me seem like a bitch but i try not to lmao😭 im also very sarcastic. literally sarcasm is my love language fr

im an extroverted introvert. meaning that some days i could be quiet, while others i could be loud sometimes. but i tend to be very loud with friends too lmao. but i dont like loud noises myself which is weird.

on the topic of that, i tend to get overwhelmed easily so i prefer quiet environments. anything with a lot of people/noises will get me overwhelmed n stuff so

im literally a total book nerd. like the fantasy, enemies to lovers, they’d both kill for each other kind of books. im also a realistic hopeless romantic. i tend to destroy my delusions sadly

tbh im very hypocritical and somewhat toxic because of the household i was born in but in trying to change. i stick to what i think and have trouble apologizing and showing affection, so i normally just write “im sorry” or “i ❤️ u” on their skin whenever i cant say it. speaking of that, i also tend to get jealous easily but i never say it because im literally petty asf (but like im saying, im trying to get better <3)

i was born in a harsh environment where my parents argued a lot so if i get yelled at i would cry IMMEDIATELY. i would also get really pissed off.

speaking of me getting pissed off, i cry whenever im angry. i hate it when i do that because i think its weak but ive grown into it yk? it doesnt help that i have anger issues too though

my love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and giving gifts. (but also like uhhhhgg physical touch but also like GKDJDHHH PHYSICAL TOUCH yk)

my music taste is kind of unknown. chase atlantic, arctic monkeys, isabel larosa, ari abdul, the weekend, the neighborhood, cigarettes after sex, and lana del rey. thosr are like the ONLY music i listen to LMAO

im not really self confident (but i kinda am? idk (fake it til you make it)) and like i said, an introvert but i wont let you walk all over me or my friends. i have that “treat others how they treat you” mindset. (getting out of my people pleaser phase!!)

i love cats. like i LOVE LOVE cats.

HELP SORDY I WENT ON A LOT SKSJSJ

Reading your desc. made me want to give your the biggest hug🥹🫶🏽

Pairing: Lorenzo Berkshire

Lorenzo Berkshire is Hogwarts’ resident pretty boy. And he definitely knows it.

He likes the attention. Thrives on it really. A magnet for the spotlight.

For the most part you really steer clear of the rowdy group of Slytherin boys. They’re loud, and egotistical, and just not worth the headache.

The first time you run into Enzo is quite literal. You’re agitated enough with the boy as it is, he and his friends had been causing a ruckus in the library for the past hour and you were just done.

You don’t realize that the boy had appeared behind you in the maze of shelves until it’s too late and suddenly you’re in a mess of tangled limbs, sprawled across the floor.

Enzo, of course, is used to girls melting in his hand and naturally tries to charm you, but you’re having none of it, stalking off before he’s able to even get a name.

But boy does he love a challenge.

The next day, he sidles up next to you in the corridor, ramping up the charm as he insists on walking you to your next class.

He’s not at all prepared for the sharp bite of your words. Usually girls are falling over themselves to agree with every little thing he says, but your witty, sarcastic responses catch him off guard.

Everything about you really throws him for a new one. And he’s just so intrigued.

He tries approaching you again in the library, attempting to talk up the novel you're reading. (It goes horribly. After that encounter, you're half convinced he's illiterate.)

But he's just obsessed.

He likes the way that you’re pretty and confident, and yet seem to slip into the shadows, hiding in plain sight. And the way you’re willing to go toe-to-toe with him.

He continues popping up, despite your rather clear initial disinterest. But as you spend more time together, he begins to grow on you slowly, more and more. Like a mold. Or a fungus.

One day, you notice that Enzo is significantly more agitated than normal. Broody and clearly in some type of mood.

You know it’s none of your business, but the library is unusually quiet and you can’t seem to get any reading done- so you bite the bullet and ask what’s bothering the boy.

And boy does it come pouring out. The wreckage that is his home life, the pressure of having eyes on him all the time, the fact that Mattheo and Theodore had somehow managed to flood their dorm.

It was a side of Enzo you'd never seen before. You weren't actually completely convinced that he even had human emotions before this. But it was nice.

He'll later be very shocked that his depressive rant is what somehow won you over. (Trauma Bond™️)

It all spirals from there though. It starts with hesitant fingers brushing each other from across the table, then "friendly" cuddling by the library fireplace, then stolen kisses in the crevices of the corridors.

Enzo loves showering you with love and attention. He has no qualms about planting a warm kiss on your lips in front of a crowd, but is equally content to smother you in the privacy of your own dorm room.

His favorite thing is the way you trace little phrases on the back of his hand or his arm when you don't want to say it out loud and has picked up on doing it himself when he can tell that you're stressed.

You balance each other out in the best way and Enz loves the fact that he has you all to himself.

[lifmera]

Thank you for doing a matchup trade with me <3 here's my matchup!

FANDOM: I would like a ADULT MALE MATCHUP for hazbin hotel, genshin impact and black butler please! I don't wanna be matched with angel dust or husk I have no problem but I don't see myself being romantic partners with them)

ABOUT ME: My name is Jaxrel! People call me "Jax" for short. also use other names like Himawari, Rin, etc, He/Him (They/Them is acceptable), I'm a Trans Man who's pansexual and I've been diagnosed with mental illness and disorders that I do not wish sharing ATM.

Personality(+ Notes): I'm a ENTP Ravenclaw, 5w4, Extroverted. I'm a very chill and intelligent person, I'm very polite and sweet! at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses "big" words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(l'm nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes don't mean to), dad/ tharapist friend, when | go out | bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapsticks) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some "repressed anger issues, get a reallyyy overractive Brain, tend to get deep and philosophical when I'm left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked. If this helps more the characters I kin a lot are: Victor Nikiforov (Yuri On Ice), Tei (Nameless), Cutthroat (Akudama Drive, Except the Bloodlust cutthroat has.), Ranpo Edogawa (Bungo Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungo Stray Dogs), Space Ishtar (Fate), Okita Souji (Fate), Langa Hasegawa (Sk8 The Infinity), Sherlock Holmes (TGAA), Zack (Final Fantasy 7), Vash The Stampede (Trigun), Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist), Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats), Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom), Vanitas (Study Case of Vanitas), Zoe Hange (AOT), Shinoa Hiragi (Seraph of The End) + more

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i love kids btw i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, I love psychical affection a lot so it's not a problem for me, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love someone, they'll be seen.

MORE KINS: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld). eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), rei ayanami (neon genesis evangelion), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more :)

Looks: Half Polish and Vietnamese and Half Middle Eastern(Iraqi)/Filipino, I'm very skinny like I look mostly flat, I have hazel eyes and some slight flecks of amber and blue, I have upturned eyes but they seem like they are almond shaped but they aren't too noticeable, I think I have a heart shaped face but from different angles it looks more diamond shaped(?), I'm approximately 5'8, I have a dimple only on my chin, I have dyed black hair, I also have bangs too, my clothing style tends to stretch widely from comfy to... a lot like this! I wear gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, gyaruo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), scenemo/emo (ofc), & vkei ouji and lolita, I can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as, jirai kei, decora and more so on.

hobbies: gaming, anthropology, pathology, theology, zoology, music, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG's, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/ basketball and swimming, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it, I can play 5 instruments which is the piano, cello, koto and bass/electric guitar, I know 6 languages and I'm learning more right now.

Likes: Chocolate, Strawberries, Iced Coffee and Boba Tea, Anime/ Manga, Music, Food, Winning in arguments online or irl, Reading, Cats, Sharks, Animals in general, Cold/or Rainy Weather, Shopping, Playing Tabletop RPG's, Abstract or Romance movies, Kdrama(pretty much any asian dramas), Spicy or Sweet Food, Ramen.

Dislikes: Loud Noises, Slow Walkers, People who don't know when to close their mouths when chewing and hot weather.

Love Languages: physical touch, acts of service & words of affirmation(pretty much everything LOL) (giving). gift giving, words of affirmation & physical touch (receiving)

Thank you so much! Have a good day!

HEY HUN!!! IM SO GLAD WE ARE DOING IT!!

Im so happy someone asked for black butler finally!!

I’ve decided to pair you with……. GRELLE, AJAX & LUCIFER!

She would LOVE that you are extroverted.

She finally has someone to talk to who isn’t boring !!

She also loves that you are independent! It’s what attracted her to you!

It also allows her to be able to do her job without having to worry too much for you- but DONT get me wrong. She LOVES to take care of you.

She loves to listen to you, all day every day. Talk about your day to her. My girl always has an ear out. Honestly she probably has a sixth sense when it comes to you.

She definitely is nosy asf. She wants to get in EVERYONES BUSINESS !! You guys could probably spend a week on gossiping about the same person.

She honestly also has her own problems- and DEFINITELY forgets shit to bring or do. She will rely on you 24/7. She needs someone to rant to sometimes- being a grim reaper is so harrrd!

She definitely does not mind the anger issues. Sebastian was mean enough- if anything she definitely would like it if you yelled at her!!

She probably would laugh a little bit if you started to get philosophical with her- but thats also because she literally will have no clue on whats happening. - she’d beg you to explain it to her too.

If you have an ugly laugh- she does too. You both would be CACKLING 24/7.

She loves that you care for other people- and animals too! It would warm her heart so much. Although she’d be jealous!! She wants most of your attention.

She’d buy you anything or do anything to see you happy. She loves whenever you get happy!! She’d totally buy you shit like chocolate covered pretzels and watch you eat them with a HUGE grin on her face.

Not gonna lie though. She HATES kids. But she’ll try for you 🩷

She genuinely loves that you take care of other people- and kiss your plushies?? Thats so CUTE- HER NEXT???!!

If you told her you loved her? You would hear it maybe like 1600x times a day. She’s def super clingy.

If you went out of your way to try and make her happy- she would literally want to take a BITE put of you. How came she resist?? You are just too sweet :)

She will always be there next to you in the mornings, when you have a tough time getting up. She’s been there on her hard days. She doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you.

With all those hobbies?? She’d definitely make you help her learn stuff. Piano? Teach her !!! Guitar? Oh my god ?!! LANGUAGES?? Speak to her and even if you called her a donkey she’d be all over you.

She’d love to hear about your special interests or more about your hobbies. Like ?? Teach me to skateboard?!!!

She’d cosplay with you. She’d love to do it!!

She LOVES your sense of style. Its so different compared to what she’d normally see? Like pick me? Choose me ? Love me?

Whenever you choose a new style- she’s always in the back supporting you. She loves to show off to other people too. Like- thats MY man.

She literally loves any love language. SHE IS INLOVE WITH HER S/O AND WOULD DO ANYTHINNGGG FOR THEM!!

She definitely would want to bake with you tho. She cant bake for shit, but she tries.

She also will definitely LOVE your art. She needs pictures and photographs constantly. She’d probably hang them on the fridge or put them in her pockets to look at whenever shes working.

Now to Tartie

My man….

Ajax was definitely drawn in at first by your sense of style. He would’ve been staring from across the street with a smirk on his face.

Until he see’s you again. He HAS to say something this time!

He definitely wants to listen to you talk !

You love kids?? God he already loves you? He has so many siblings! And honestly he probably wants a big ass family.

He started to become drawn in by your personality. He needs someone who can be independent while he’s constantly working with the fatui.

Let’s be honest. This man is a GOSSIP. He finna chat chat chat with you all day every day. He mever shuts up.

He loves to hear you laugh. It brings him so much joy Everytime.

Although he feels safe constantly- he knows he can trust his siblings around you,

He definitely would be more reserved when it comes to himself, he’d love that you are the dad friend.

He’s totally gonna forget shit to do- and he can’t always take care of his siblings!

He loves that you have a big heart. Not many people do anymore- it caused him to truly become attached.

He’s so happy that you aren’t ashamed to like what you like- neither is he! Be proud!!

He loves physical affection too- but unfortunately is never really around much for it. He’d always give you tons of kisses on the forehead in the morning before he leaves though.

He’d also try to make ip to you with a bitch ton of presents and gifts for you. Like “ I’m so sorry sweetheart- but i hope this puts a smile on your face :)”

But if he stays at home? He’s gonna want to rot in bed with you and cuddle!

Honestly. He’d probably also have a shit ton of plushies too. But he’d get jealous if you gave them all kisses and not him!!

He isn’t really emotional- but he’ll definitely try to comfort you! I think at first he’d suck- but he has so many siblings he knows what to do!!

Your hobbies?? Always keeps him doing something with you! Like talk to me in a different language?

He’d LOVE to challenge you to sports!! Although he’ll definitely become a tadd bitt too competitive . He just gets lost in it!

He definitely makes you do some pottery with him, and drinks or eats out of the stuff you guys make together.

Probably will fall off a skateboard 16 different times.

He LOVES watching movies with you. I think he’d genuinely enjoy K dramas. This man is DRAMATIC.

He would buy you so many things to make up for lost time together :((

Luci’s Turn!

I mean come on… how could I not.

He was drawn into everything about you. Your style- your heart??

He saw the way you treated Charlie and he was like “that’s mine now.”

He would LOVE to listen to you talk while he’s making some ducks!!

I think you’d both have some rotting in bed moments though!!

Let’s be honest. He needs someone to take care of him. He won’t do it by himself. He’s too scared to even call his daughter.

He will definitely confide in you about EVERYTHING. He has nobody else that he trusts. (Other than charlie but….)

He loves to hear about anything! Gossip to him.. even though hes an old man he’d be like “she did WHATTTT?? NO WAYYY”

I think Lucifer would be pretty hard to get mad at honestly.

He also loves to hear your philosophy stuff! He’s always asking what you think about, and why. He want’s to hear the thought process behind it.

He LOVES that you are also so sweet to Charlie. It makes his heart swell.

Honestly he’s huge on physical touch. If he could he’d always have you touching him in some way. Whether it be cuddling in bed with your 1000 plushies, or having you sit on his laps while he makes a duck that looks like you!!

He LOVES your style. It makes him feel like he has something new to look forward to everyday. He also likes to guess which you’ll wear!

Personally i think Lucifer probably knows every language known to man- but he’d want you to talk to him in a different language! He’d definitely flirt with you!

Play music for this old man please!! He’d love to hear you strum the guitar while he’s doing something!

Or art!! He’d make paintings with you- although he sucks. He’d hang up pictures or drawings that you took, and frame them.

He loves that you aren’t afraid to do what you want! Or speak what you want! It allows him to feel free.

He thinks puppetry is SO COOL. Like honestly- teach me NOW. He’d probably get the strings knotted though.

He’d love to listen about your love for animals- he’d probably buy you one too. As long as it makes you happy.

He’d do anything to see a smile on your face. Buy chocolates, red bull, more plushies, strawberries? He is already on it.

Also wants you to kiss him to sleep.

He doesn’t go anywhere ever- so he’ll always be for you during your low times. He’ll help you through everything.

He’s super clingy too. He’d want you to give him quality time!

He’d beg you to watch movies or shows with you. He’d also get ADDICTED to them. Probably starts SOBBING during K-Dramas.

~~

HI LOVE!! I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY FOR YOU!! I ENJOYED THIS SO MUCH ! 🩷🩷

[pineappleparfaitie]

Regarding recent events

Alright im in a better mental state so i want to clear some things up

1. My "callout" posts ir whatever the fuck  had sfw vore community tags on it I never should have  put on there . Im genuinely sorry to everyone ive hurt with that decision for causing anything triggering or anything along those lines. I was 100% in the wrong and i may have even caused some people to do bad stuff to themselves. I am sorry.I am so sorry.

2.I am in contact with someone trying to clear this up, i saw this person make a post trying to prove i sentthrm BOMB threats. I want a vide recording of this proof sent to me as this is a) a lie on the part of their friend b) i have hd to provide video evidence so i believe it's only fair. If this person is reading this I want your friend to record them doing that as i feel its the best way for us to see the truth.

3.I am most likely leaving the community due to this. Never in my 16 and a half years that I have walked this planet have i been called a neo-n@zi, have i been called a straight up nazi, have i bee called scum and have i had someone so publicly wish harm upon me. I have been threw hell in the last 12+ hours ,i havent slept, my heart aches and I am unable to breath normally.My menstrual cycle wil probably be late due to stress alone even though i should have gotten it a few days ago.

I have RUINED,TAINTED and DESTROYEE discourse around this topic in the community and im so sorry.Im sorry people will wat to speak up on this and fewr theyll be a moron like me.Im sorry people will look at me and never want to bring this issue up because they dont want to end up like me-pathetic and unable to talk without bring so confusing people cant even understand what Im saying.So bad at emphasazing a point I have peple thinking im a nazi or even nazj SYMPATHISER God forbid.

Im sorry to anyone and everyone ive hurt , to anyone and everyone who saw my posts and felt hurt because they had every right to be.

Im so sorry.Im sorry.

4.

This mext bit is directed at this individual.

Read if you wish but if I see or hear people sending threats to this person,sending insults,sending death threats or anything under thr Sun along those lines you are DIRT to me.

.

.

. Im sorry. I have tried apologising where I went wrong. I apologised to you when we cut ties and I reiterated stuff wasnt your fault. You have called me names,misgendered me ,claimed it wasnt a gendered term and later said you thought jt said she/her in my bio when it wasone of the first things on my blog.But i can forgive that. It makes me salty but its a simple mistake .

However

Im sorry. I am so sorry I hurt you. I am sorry you think id even IMAGINE makin bomb threats to you, had you told me to the extent these people were going I would have tried tracking them down myself.  I thought all they did was call you a Zio which I dont even believe you to be. Im sorry if you ever felt belittled ,hurt  ect and weather or not anything comes to light You have the right to FEEL hurt. To FEEL that i wronged you in every way. No one should insult your feelings over this tyoe of stuff. But all I ask is a GRAIN,  not even an ounce, a GRAIN of sympathy after being told to get hit by a train ,then publicly being called a nazi with no proof. The things you listed by definition wouldnt make me a nzi. You have misinterpreted and misunderstood my words and I am SORRY I couldnt be more understanble and word myself better.it was MY FAULT. not you It was ME But I have never insulted you ,called you what you have called me, called you a bitch ,said you were yapping whe you wanted to disprove anything,  gave you desth threats. I am angry amd I am devestated but I will never even call you a zionist. The only issue I ever had after we cut dtuff off was you calling me a neo nazi publicly via vauge post. You could have hated my GUTS and it wouldn't have bothered me cause you have the right to feel hurt

Please. Send me video evidence. Because you andyour friend are making me out to be a antisemitic nazi monster who sends bomb and starvation threats to random 16 year old online. Im the same age as you. I am leaving a community i adored because of this if not 100% then considering I hope you can be happy when or if im gone.Maybe it would bring you closure cause you said everyone agrees im wrong. I may have misread your words here - but I believe you said it would be better if i left. The post isfone now tough.

Im not claiming you did i may have misremembered. But if so I hope you can finnaly get closure and be happy when im gone.

I hope you can finnaly be happy .All i ask is ehen I leave to not do this to anyone else. You have destroyedme from the inside out.

Im sorry I wasnt better , im sorry i made you feel like shit, im sorry me not thinking may have or HAS caused you mental or even physical pain.

Im sorry. Im not asking for forgiveness, because no one decides that but you. Amd you habe every right to not even think about it

I want you to know Im sorry

-Pine

[preciadosbass]

3/8/24

woke up at 10 to my dad shaking me, he seemed in so much more of a better mood than the past few days, which is good. i told him about the frank, mikey and gerard sightings [even though i’d already told him about gerards] and we joked for a bit. i don’t really remember what about but it made me feel good. i had my breakfast while showing him a few tiktok’s related to bands i like and stuff. not to mention i obviously cuddled boris the second i saw him. also, saw the RAY TORO PHOTO AAA HES ALIVE

after fussing boris some more i went back to sleep at 11:50 because i felt like my eyes were forcefully being pryed open.. took a while to actually get to sleep because of how hot it is. i eventually did and woke up 2ish. my mum and sister had already left to go out as my sister found out one of her online friends she games with lives close to us. i watched my dad play roblox again and he kept on blaming me whenever he died in natural disasters lmaoo — he played two more games before we went out for a walk to pick blackberries at around 4.

most of the ones i picked i didn’t end up keeping because i’m very particular and i cant eat them if they’re the slightest bit squishy/if the separate berry things that make them up are too big. its really weird. anyway, we’re both terrible at making conversation so we just tended to point out things around us, if that makes sense. like, ‘those ones don’t look ripe’. we were out for 30/40 minutes and when i got back home i cuddled boris. he seems off today, like the weather isn’t too bad and he hasn’t gone out from my knowledge, and he doesn’t seem content when i stroke him. i’m worried about him.

i continued watching a gerard video id started watching yesterday and went out to see boris. my parents were in the kitchen at the same time and i mentioned him seeming off but they said he went outside when i had my nap so that’s reassuring. i didn’t stay out there for long because he wanted to come back in. when i did come in i watched my dad play natural disaster again and had something to eat because just moving my head was making my vision cut out. afterwards i checked on boris and scrolled on mcrblr.

i did ask my mum if we could go on a walk but she said no so i’m still really anxious as i won’t be able to burn off what i’ve eaten. exercising at home just dosent cut it for me. i always get caught and become unmotivated so fast. it’s understandable that she did refuse though, she barely ever does, and she’s been up someone else house all day feeling awkward. i also asked quite late considering how fast it gets dark.

i carried on doing my own thing [looking at various band related posts] up until about 9, nearly ten, when i went upstairs to talk to my dad while waiting for my sister to get to sleep so i could ask the questions about boris. my mum said yesterday that maybe i should include my sister in my routine and ask her a couple questions, so after dad watched me play natural disaster for a while as we waited, i went into her room as i knew she was still awake and did exactly that. she’s almost always really understanding about the whole compulsion thing, although i knows she dosent actually get it because i dont myself, and it’s my issue.

i eventually asked my parents the questions which took longer than i’d anticipated because of how different i think boris has been acting today. cutting the questions down and making them easier to go through makes my compulsions so much worse and sends me into utter panic but i tried my best not to drag it on, although i did. i just love boris so much. after that i went downstairs, had some icy water, brushed my teeth and said goodnight to boris. i brought his food to him so i could make sure he’s eaten and told him in advance about me being out practically the whole day tomorrow.

i hate being away from him, it makes me feel so guilty. plus, being with him just makes me feel so comforted, and hopefully it does the same for him too. i think it might do because for example, our dog is very noisy and he [boris] seems to be calmer when the dog barks if someone’s stroking him. which is another reason why i don’t like being away, i don’t like him being scared, or for him to be feeling anything bad in general. he knows he’s the boss of the dog though, which is good because of their size difference. i went to sleep early at 1:36 because i have to wake up somewhat early in the morning. i feel bad about barely doing anything at all today, but at least ill be productive tomorrow.

have a good day/night -_<

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Hey. I've seen some of your rewrite of Helluva Boss scenes and I really like them. I enjoy how you fixed the issues with the writing and how incredibly spectacular your writing of the improved dialogue within the scenes are.

Honestly, I feel inspired by your work. I have an idea for my own Helluva Boss rewrite where I not only fix issues the show has (ex. tonal shifts, inconsistencies & plot holes, worldbuilding issues, etc), but also integrate my HB OCs into my rewrite (ex. my main HB OC Alice Lola (Ally for short), who is an assassin at I.M.P. and an aspiring writer).

I was wondering if I could ask you this: do you have any advice & tips you could give for who have an idea for starting an HB rewrite, or a rewrite in general? I ask out of curiosity as an aspiring writer myself.

Feel free to respond back when you get the chance. Thank you and have a wonderful day/afternoon/night. Keep up the great work! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 🤗💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖💕🤗

Thank you, im glad you enjoy my rewrites and of course, I can offer up some advice for rewrites;

I think one of the best things in writing a rewrite is that you can use these minor details the piece your rewriting has and use them to you advantage. For example, I noticed that Octavia listens to music whenever she hears her parents arguing or at the dinner table where her parents would be and probably would have at least some awkward tension so from rewriting seeing stars, I use that minor detail to highlight her character and her arc of using music or the moon festival to ignore her problems even though it clearly doesn't help. It also contrast with Loona in my rewrite ignoring her problems that she later acknowledges and the two would open up, closing the character arcs in a nice neat bow. Another would be that Millie is often depicted as either moxxie's wife or a murder machine and from the little time we see with her and her family, I rewrote millie growing up having to be in her sisters shadow and just wanting to be her own person instead as inferior or someone's tool. This would establish why she has a rivalry with her sister while also giving her more character for her to be explored (which we should've gotten from harvest moon tbh), Any details you find in helluva can be a tool for you to explore whether it be for the characters, world etc...

Something that even I learned is that when rewriting, you gotta plan what your gonna do with the characters, with the worldbuilding you establish, with all of these plots/ideas your rewriting. Most of the problems helluva has is because vivziepop didnt plan the show out until season 2 rolled around and if we wanna rewrite the show to be better, we ourselves cant make the same mistakes. If you already started the rewrite however, i suggest you look back on the rewrite your already doing for as much as you can to remember in order to not fall into the same mistake the show itself has

When planning an oc into rewrites, I think the main thing is to ask what are they doing here, what purpose do they serve to the plot and what is their character overall (their motive, personality, character arc, likes, dislikes, relationship with the characters, how they bounce off to the other characters etc...)

As another aspiring writer who has a lot of original stories in the works (there's even an original story inspired by helluva boss and some of my rewrite ideas for it), I think its important to approach criticism as a helpful tool rather than an insult. Especially when its rewrites. I always want whatever I'm writing to at least be of decent quality and is regularly curious of how people would react to my original stories still in the works so receiving it and even given criticism for it can help, you know? Since you have an established audience and them offering criticism can be your tool that you can use to improve. It should be noted though that their is a difference between criticism and personal bias/subjectivity. For example, if someone wanted to point out a plot hole or a mistake in your work, that's criticism you can use. But if someone just tells you to go touch grass for your rewrite or something like that, then its not criticism, that's personal bias/opinion they have of rewrites in general so it offers nothing you can use to improve it.

That's all I got so far, I hope this helps!