may-bee-its-just-me

[may-bee-its-just-me]

63 and 195

63-A quote you try to live by:

Oh there are many that i dont remember off the top my head but do run through my head when i need them. The kinds i try to hold onto tho even when i dont actively need it, and one i've shared with those who struggle accepting the same things -

"Shared Joy is doubled joy, shared burdens are half a burden" - Meaning, when you share joy with others that joy is multiplied. Often we think then when sharing our troubles with others, it just spreads misery, but in real relationships founded on love and respect - the Burden is halved, and made easier to bear.

in the same lines, "You find joy, peace, fulfillment and purpose through supporting your friends and being there for them, why should you rob them the joy of reciprocating that to you" - A quote from a funny tiktok that has still stuck with me even if it is still difficult to accept.

"Its not fair for us to laugh together but for you to suffer alone", same as the previous two.

195-If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?

ratatouille /hj

[may-bee-its-just-me]

201

201-If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?

i wouldnt know,, im not a physicist.

tho i would make sure it had the full torso harness, i havent the slightest idea why they do only lap bars on so many rollercoasters. The one rollercoaster i went on with friends (and had a mini panic attack in line for) that did not have a harness, only a lap bar - I could have easily gotten whiplash from being tossed about like a ragdoll, I did almost faint, and my friends were in tears from both the adrenaline and the lack of torso support. :]

Will not be doing that again. Harness or im not riding that rollercoaster.

[may-bee-its-just-me]

208 - Five things within touching distance :3

Easy - Candle, sticky notes, headphones, phone and lighters

[may-bee-its-just-me]

49 and 83

49-Do you have any phobias?

Im not sure actually. For as long as I can remember i've been an anxious person - When I was a kid i had a lot of fears surrounding burglary, illness/death, paranormal activity, and seeing things that weren't real. As of right now, I've grown out of those for the most part and dont really? have any phobias.

83-What is your favorite flower?

I don't know enough flowers to reaaally have a favorite tbh, tho i have grown fonder of dandelions as I've gotten older and learned of their medicinal benefits and their involvement with bees and honey.

[may-bee-its-just-me]

47 and 200

47: I cant believe Im sharing this online - I didn't have an imaginary friend, I had an imaginary BOYfriend. Thankfully i was more or less homeschooled, so this is something only I and those I choose to share it with know about.

200: i dont even know bro...

[may-bee-its-just-me]

62

just an eepy achy girl

[may-bee-its-just-me]

188 :3

I dont listen to music like that :[

[may-bee-its-just-me]

All i ask is that you include the question with the number please! ^^

[may-bee-its-just-me]

😤never

-Also that drawing is adorable!! and so very gremlin ^^

We love you temp :[ -Mod Bee

We love you too Mod Bee Don’t chu every forget that :3

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Grrr accept my affections

We love you temp :[ -Mod Bee

We love you too Mod Bee Don’t chu every forget that :3

[may-bee-its-just-me]

✨Trauma dump sesh;

but make it classy because effort was put into the wordage and I cant count how many takes i did for the recording

"I’ve a naturally hyper personality; I dance while I work, sing while I clean and I try to brighten everyone’s day. I get asked why I am the way I am. “Oh it must be the coffee, that’s why she’s so quirky again after her lunch break”. Truth is, I push myself to my limits daily and crash by the afternoon. Any spare physical energy is immediately used up; taken advantage of. I’m a one woman circus act walking the line of energetic and productive, over a hundred ft. drop into despair, with nothing but the safety net that is God’s grace to protect me. I go through swings like nobody’s business, taking the highs as they come; Until I swing too high and fall out the back of my seat. In rough waters, I take every moment above water breathing heaps of fresh air up until the millisecond the next wave engulfs me; Breathing salt water with it. I’m Icarus, taking my temporary wings for a joyride; Flying too close to the sun. Sometimes this worries people. They ask if I’m okay, seeing me hunched over the kitchen table praying for another ounce of strength. They want to help but, seeing as how it’s daily, I tell them “same ol’” and let them move on with their day. And, when they ask me why I haven't seen a doctor after a year, I haven’t much to say. I can’t explain it, I don’t have the energy and they won’t understand.  People look at me like I’m crazy. My knee jerk reaction is to deny. I’m not crazy, I’m just struggling, I’m trying really hard, I’m. Not. Crazy. But the truth is, who wouldn’t be? No one understands how hard it is to live every single day in pain, until they experience it themselves. To have every motion of your hand matter. To have every action, reaction, tone of voice matter. To be ever conscious of every maneuver your body makes -  trying to limit mistakes and dropping things but still go fast enough to keep up with your job. To be hyper-aware of every micro-adjustment to your posture; In hopes that one of them makes the pain lessen and allow your mind to focus on something else for a moment. And, when needing to lift heavier objects, be careful not to lift too long or to speed-walk with them too fast, lest you cause your arms to flare up again. And, when the flare up inevitably happens, how much of the muscle spasm in your shaking hands do you allow others to see in hopes of being cut a break, but not enough that it makes your work sloppy? What do you do when your mind is fuzzy, and the room is spinning - Your heart is beating harder and you’re losing your balance - Your ear keeps ringing intermittently, and your chest feels heavy - You think you’re going to pass out, but your body isn't ready - and you don’t want to, but your heart rate still unsteady - you’re catching yourself from falling, and you’re just trying to get through the work day - So you’re stuck in limbo, between conscious and fainted - Until eventually it tapers off and you begin to question; Am I somehow faking it? Did it ever even happen in the first place? You make mention of everything hurting, all the time, just for older family and coworkers to joke about “becoming an adult - Not understanding just how deep that cuts, or what they’re really joking about. . I’m exhausted. I’m broken. I’m weak. I’m frustrated. I’m burnt out. I’m beat. I want to rest, but even after a long day of hard work and minimal issues - The pain creeps up when I lay my head down for sleep. I don’t want to be a miserable person, I don’t want to be consumed by my struggle. I want to keep hold of faith for healing, stay hopeful for better days. I want to spread joy. So I break my body to keep up in the day, deal with the consequences by night, and repeat in the morning. I’ve a hyper personality, tied down by my body. A personified contradiction, walking a tightrope, swinging forward and back, halfway underwater, too close to the sun."

~ Bee, 11/20/2024 [Wannabee poet and rich person]

[may-bee-its-just-me]

🐝 How was your Thanksgiving?

It was okay! I got to see my baby nephew, my eldest brother and his fiancee :] I had to work tho, which meant I was late to the party lol

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Like i said, i totally understand your frustration and fear! its real, its valid, and a lot of people just dont understand what's happening. Thank you for the additional information about Project 2025 in regards to the oompa loompa, and Palastine/Israel and Kamala.

To be clear, my main point of response was just to add nuance to those who chose not to vote out of ignorance or because they didnt feel like their vote mattered, or because they werent able to, etc. NOT for those who self righteously chose not to vote or voted 3rd party. I still think it important not to lump all non-voters in the same bad apple box, even if the lack of votes may or may not have contributed to Trump winning the election.

To also clarify - I've never liked him and from what i have seen, i like Kamala. Ive been most frustrated that cheeto dust was allowed to run for president, and regardless of if he is taken out of office or allowed to step in, I hope that the checks and balances in place keep him from accomplishing what he has stated he wants to do.

That being said, I still have hope that he wont be able to do a lot of what he wants to. I know that doesnt stop his followers from being emboldened to do harm though, so I want to also be clear that I pray for your safety. I know you'll have a harder time feeling and staying safe than I, but I am concerned for all of us that are not white, for what some extremist Trump followers might do. Know that if and when those problems arise, you have a support system waiting to have your back, both within and outside of your family. You are not alone.

And, in a few years time, moving to another country will be an option if things happen to get so bad that we cannot stay. I've heard Germany is a nice place to move to, and I've heard a few smaller countries/ islands supposedly pay people to move there...Might be nice to look into that too, might help ease your nerves? :]

Project 2025 Cliff Notes:

1. Complete ban on abortions, without exceptions (pg. 449-503)

2. End marriage equality (pg. 545-581)

3. Elimination of unions and worker protections (pg. 581)

4. Defund the FBI and Homeland Security (pg. 133)

5. Eliminate federal agencies like the FDA, EPA, NOAA, and more (pg. 363-417)

6. Mass deportation of immigrants and incarceration in "camps" (pg. 133)

7. End birthright citizenship (pg. 133)

8. Cut Social Security (pg. 691)

9. Cut Medicare (pg. 449)

10. Eliminate the Department of Education (pg. 319)

11. Teach Christian religious beliefs in public schools (pg. 319)

12. Use public, taxpayer money for private religious schools (pg. 319)

13. End the Affordable Care Act (pg. 449)

14. Ban contraceptives (pg. 449)

15. Additional tax breaks for corporations and the 1% (pg. 691)

16. End civil rights & DEI protections in government (pg. 545-581)

17. Ban African American and gender studies in all levels of education (pg. 319)

18. End climate protections: (pg. 417)

19. Increase Arctic drilling (pg. 363)

20. Deregulate big business and the oil industry (pg. 363)

Not to increase anxiety, but I found this buried on Reddit. From six months ago. very good thing to have in your pocket so you are prepared

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Mocha, your frustration is valid - often times taking a whole-y neutral stance causes harm and does he opposite of what the person intended. This may even feel like a direct attack onto you as a person of color and a female, feminine presenting human being. Your feelings are real, even if not the intended result of 3rd party or non-voters.

I do caution against being so quick to judge and for treating this with the harshness expressed here, though. As this others good intentioned people, and paints their actions in the worst possible light. Shaming and insults almost never gets someone onto the side you're advocating for.

It is no one's personal responsibility what the government has done with the lack of their vote. Please note that what's happening in Gaza, as far as im aware, neither candidate had planned on stopping the supply of funds and weapons to Israel (however, Kamala did want to negotiate ceasefire where Trump did not), and regardless of that - Again, no one is personally responsible for the decisions the government is making in that regard unless they voted FOR that to happen. It's important not to loose nuance in this conversation, lest we misplace blame and/or shame people for trying to do the right thing.

Many people I know chose not to vote because they felt hopeless that their vote would count for anything. Some didnt vote because they couldn't put their trust in either candidate to lead the country how they saw fit, and it's their right to do so. Many dont know about project 2025, and personally while I DO know about it and know that much of it is against everything this country was founded on - I *Dont know* how much of it Trump was personally involved with or backs, because I havent seen an actually reliable source for that information. I dont know how much of that is rumor, or propaganda or fear mongering. Many people who voted 3rd party or chose not to did so out of "the election is rigged anyway so it doesnt matter", or out of "God has this under control, I don't know who to trust or vote for, let His will be done".

I almost didnt vote for these reasons. I dont trust political candidates as far as i can throw them. I don't have much control over what happens in government, even with my vote, simply because I'm just one person and political candidates in recent years have been known to kind of just...do their own thing.

But I chose to vote because, putting individual policies aside, I disagreed on principal of one of the candidates being allowed to rerun after everything that's happened, and I believe that one has shown much better character and self control. I dont agree with everything they stand for; They're not my friend, and they're not the savior this country needs. I've seen the harm that can be done when an orange man's audacity gains him leadership, and in turn empowers similar minded people to act on their biases after him.

I know that things are hard right now, and there is a lot of fear around what's going to happen once office is handed over to "cheeto man" (a fun nickname i've heard floating around lol). No one truly knows what's going to happen, but rest assured that God is in control. Also know that IF project 2025 was authored (entirely or in part) by Trump, that there will be time for the people to respond, and for the checks and balances in our government to potentially step in and take the control back into the hands of the people.

the country will not crash and burn overnight. You *will* have time to fight back if and when the time arises. For now, we wait, we watch, most importantly we pray and continue to do what we've been called to do through it it all. We have to be there for one another, teach and guide in love where applicable.

Love you Mocha, im here for you if you need me. My DMs are always open.

Project 2025 Cliff Notes:

1. Complete ban on abortions, without exceptions (pg. 449-503)

2. End marriage equality (pg. 545-581)

3. Elimination of unions and worker protections (pg. 581)

4. Defund the FBI and Homeland Security (pg. 133)

5. Eliminate federal agencies like the FDA, EPA, NOAA, and more (pg. 363-417)

6. Mass deportation of immigrants and incarceration in "camps" (pg. 133)

7. End birthright citizenship (pg. 133)

8. Cut Social Security (pg. 691)

9. Cut Medicare (pg. 449)

10. Eliminate the Department of Education (pg. 319)

11. Teach Christian religious beliefs in public schools (pg. 319)

12. Use public, taxpayer money for private religious schools (pg. 319)

13. End the Affordable Care Act (pg. 449)

14. Ban contraceptives (pg. 449)

15. Additional tax breaks for corporations and the 1% (pg. 691)

16. End civil rights & DEI protections in government (pg. 545-581)

17. Ban African American and gender studies in all levels of education (pg. 319)

18. End climate protections: (pg. 417)

19. Increase Arctic drilling (pg. 363)

20. Deregulate big business and the oil industry (pg. 363)

Not to increase anxiety, but I found this buried on Reddit. From six months ago. very good thing to have in your pocket so you are prepared

[may-bee-its-just-me]

Friends can actually cuddle? I never knew that.

Absolutely! tho many friends dont, for personal preference reasons and it may be more of a woman thing than men. And by cuddle, i dont mean like...Laying on top of each other cuddle, moreso just being physically close while snuggled up. Either could be platonic, but i dont think bearstack cuddling is super common with friends.

Granted, I have never been the type to be super aware of social norms. And, me personally, i dont usually cuddle friends for a variety of reasons. :]

[may-bee-its-just-me]

anon is incorrect, many friends do cuddle - especially close friends, and women. I've cuddled with friends before, and while its not usually my preference, its def also a platonic thing. For goodness sake, the whole friend group i went "camping" with had to share a tent because the second one didnt stand up to the weather, so we were all cuddled up with each other, two people/two and a half people per air mattress, just to fit all....6ish of us with our bags lining the sides.

I cuddled with Mocha on the plane to/from New Orleans for a bit while she napped.

Actually, Venin. While friends can live together, friends don't actually cuddle together. The only friends who do that are ones who are dating.

Venin: LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU-! IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL FOR FRIENDS TO CUDDLE, I KNOW IT'S TRUE! ⚠️

[may-bee-its-just-me]