#the internet is a terrible thing
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Jak and Daxter edition.
*Slinks back into the void*
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Because I have no one to talk to about this, I saw something very disturbing on Tumblr yesterday, it was a suicidal 13 year old, it hurt my heart so much to see.
The account was three days old (by post history) were tagging the map tag and a bunch of other awful things, but they were wanting to be killed or seemed to want *any* social contact. They were also asking for help, I picked up the implications they were being sexually abused at home and had no friends or safe people. Before the pedophiles rolled up, they were trying to get help/talk to an adult about what they could do. There were dozens of visible pedophiles interacting with their blog. Dozens. No one was trying to help. There were three dozen red flags, but this obviously was a cry for help, seemingly only being visible or heard by predators.
I sent in an ask, I forgot all I said, but it was long. I was essentially pleading with them not to interact with those people, that whatever was going on in life, these people only wanted to worsen that for their own gain, and that things would get better once they were out of whatever household their were in. I really hope it worked, the account is gone. I just really hope I reached them.
Reminded me of my sibling slightly and moreso of my best friend from school who had put themselves through similar things when that age for what I see as similar reasons. That hurt so badly to see. I hope more than anything that I reached them.
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IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
#having a day ^_^#I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more#people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon#I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online#please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating#I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind.#if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness#even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens#EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot#OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!!#hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past#since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold#listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes#BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!!#because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it#my wisdom. today I am so tired
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You want Keefe to suffer because you hate him
I want Keefe to suffer because I love him
We are not the same <3
(Nah but Keefe isn't the only one I beat up in writing, my OC from my book, Erebus, has gotten nearly shot idk how many times I am ABUSIVE to him 😅)
i've said this before and i'll say it again: if keefe magically became a real person, he'd be more scared of keefe lovers than he would be of keefe haters. i think he would be entirely indifferent to my existence but terrified of yours. and i don't really want keefe to suffer. he gets more annoying and cringy every time he suffers so
and it's like i always say: there's no story if the mc isn't going through some sort of trauma the entire time. or at least it would be a hella boring story if they weren't
#i'm very curious about this book and i kinda wanna read it but also i would have no motivation to get through the entire thing#and also sharing stuff you want to publish with strangers on the internet is a terrible idea. oh well. i shall have to live like this now#kotlc#kotlc keefe#keefe sencen#asks#alaydabug2
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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I imagine the underlying principle of being upset by the proposed TikTok ban is that hatred of government regulation trumps all other hatreds, which makes sense, but it's weird to see how many people apparently love TikTok now, after I thought we all agreed it was in fact the worst thing in the world and that it poisoned the internet and our species incurably
#I myself feel torn#on the one hand i hate tiktok with a delirious passion#can't say enough bad things about it#the rage is absolutely feral and violent#but also#government regulation. . .#of the internet#...#do not want#faced with the terrible prospect of suspending my hatred of power because the power is being used to do something I ostensibly desire
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little meow meow
#transformers#starscream#transformers fanart#this is terrible but its a thing that i did so on the internet it goes
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what if i do this thing where every fouche friday i draw thirst trap fouche and add it to that chain-
#terrible idea#for obvious various reasons this is a joke#i most likely cant commit cuz i have many other things to do lmao#but what if#this is gonna be how i get cancelled on the internet
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ok give me like two hours to write a oneshot about lag-induced chronic pain and its effects on players (specifically in minecraft)
#ray's tag#'ray how do you have such a good idea of what lag feels like' you see. In our headspace when our brain is going a billion miles an hour#i have to focus up here to move around and talk and things#so when our brain is going haywire i am sometimes physically unable to focus#and it affects my physical state pretty heavily. it manifests as me basically glitching the fuck out#it is NOT fun it is EXTREMELY exhausting and VERY painful. and also from what my headmates have told me pretty scary to watch.#so yeah lets just say that i have experience with this sort of thing#also i played mcpe on a kindle fire for almost ten years and my internet connection was TERRIBLE#rip my ping when i tried to play mineplex
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If Ralph breaks the internet was awesome they would’ve had a part where Ralph and Vanellope load into a new game and they look over and see a crowd of people T-posing and they’re like. (whispering) what are those people doing……..
#I’m still mad.#they got rid of the fun video game humor#news flash: they’re STILL video game characters.#replaced it with unfunny internet humor or ‘Ralph doesn’t understand this thing’ jokes#he did have those in the original but he’s been super flanderized here#is Ralph as Bob Ross inherently funny. Sort Of. but does it work ??? no??#SORRY SILLY JOKES WONT FIX YOUR TERRIBLE EVERYTHIBG ELSE#this includes spamley. you poor creature. you were actually likable but you had to be in this movie#it’s just the whole idea of this movie that makes me mad#and the direction they chose to go#rbti
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Cue the “I don’t want to work today” dance
#I have so many little pieces due today#and people trying to argue with me about changes I made to older things#just take the work guys#I don’t have time to debate with you why it’s a terrible idea to stuff a web page with as many words as possible#you’ve seen the internet
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so then taylor could be like "we need more algorithms" & winston could be like scoff ha & taylor could go "you think this is funny?" & winston goes "i think it's hilarious. i think everyone would probably think it's hilarious" & taylor goes "what's that supposed to mean" & winston goes "it means you should remember who your employees are" & taylor's like "i thought the only reason you even worked for me is because of your health insurance" & winston goes "so?" & taylor goes "so maybe the only reason you work for me, winston, is because [it's not my fault you're like in love with me or something]" & winston's like "i could tell everyone everything" & taylor goes "great why don't you go ahead & do that. tell everyone how you helped write emails pretending to be a [fracking legal in ny in billions universe]" & winston goes ahead & does that or is like fuck you taylor asshole or they make out or some other thing even
#could've even had this kind of thing happen in the ending when fucking around w/the coding#but what kind of Uninteresting Downgrade to have characters experience & respond to consequences. classic billions#or even the downgrade of ''this would've simplified this whole very time & resource sensitive plan''#god forbid even if just doing some impromptu breakup revenge plotline here there was an argument lasting 5 whole seconds#but once again billions is peak perfunctory about taylor & winston interactions. way too much of a winner & guy we hate obviously#& if any character is actually more relevant to taylor than we must pretend wendy totally is??? do not speak of it#winston billions#also shoutout to billions basically having jared's at least ostensible perspective in goin' viral. nobody's gonna give a fuck abt this lol#certainly not re: the random employee & not the terrible PR fund over here. that's the internet for you. it Is.#what else is categorical cats....#deh#kleinsen#tayston
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the number of ppl saying 'why on earth did you say this was bad' about 13's era lately is music to my ears :D
#dw shit#it's the misogyny soup btw#but still#never trust the internet's opinion on Anything about women#Ever#make up your own mind#bc look Anything Can be crap#but en masse people Will always say women's things are terrible regardless of its actual quality#sucks you cannot trust people to be fair but it is what it is
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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vash and knives are each other's antithesis not because vash is kind and knives is cruel, but because vash thinks the best of people and knives thinks the worst
#trigun#millions knives#vash the stampede#mid writes#thinking specifically the 98 versions but i guess could apply to the others too#sorry i saw dark fic with knives and thought he would NOT fucking do that#like he's terrible and awful and i dont like him but he would NOT do that in particular#knives hates humans so much specifically because he's seen and heard of them do such cruel and terrible things#and that makes them all unworthy of living in his eyes#which is fucked up but understandable#but im also of the firm belief that “accurate characterization” really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things#and everyone will interpret the same character differently so like who cares#keep it up#make me madder#the world is your oyster and i am just a guy on the internet#mid once again putting genuine character analysis in the tags where no one will read it
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so many people just hear "dick was a cop" and go "eww im gonna pretend i didnt see that" and like. if its just bc you cant handle the subject matter thats one thing, but often times its just. performative. especially because the actually storyline is so much about dick trying (and as far as ive gotten to reading so far, failing) to make a change in the system and be a "good cop". it's an extremely heavy but genuinely very interesting storyline. dick does find other "good cops", but they're very much the minority and usually keep their heads down, because cops are bastards and will ruin the lives of "fellow officers" who try and do things right. they try to frame dick for murder at one point and everything.
#its such a long and significant thing that happened and im like. youre explicitly mentioning it just to say you're ignoring it? alright.#sure. so proud of you. im sure that makes a huge difference in the world. very cool.#not trying to shade at any one person but ive just seen that attitude from people have definitely never read nw96 lol#at most they read 93 so they can bitch about how 'terrible' they think it is and use it as an excuse to wish terrible things#onto like. one of Very Few women who were in the comic book industry at the time#but im sure theres nothing internalized going on there. sure its just coincidence that they never bitch about male authors#using the excuse of social justice#love me some social justice but fuckin hate people who try to do it in fictional space instead of like. reality#literally helping no one by harassing Problematic Woman Author#dont even wanna name her bc her haters are some of the worst people ive ever seen on the internet lol#ANYWAYS. im done ranting#woke up at 03:30 and chose violence i guess
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