#and also sharing stuff you want to publish with strangers on the internet is a terrible idea. oh well. i shall have to live like this now

[the-way-astray]

You want Keefe to suffer because you hate him

I want Keefe to suffer because I love him

We are not the same <3

(Nah but Keefe isn't the only one I beat up in writing, my OC from my book, Erebus, has gotten nearly shot idk how many times I am ABUSIVE to him 😅)

i've said this before and i'll say it again: if keefe magically became a real person, he'd be more scared of keefe lovers than he would be of keefe haters. i think he would be entirely indifferent to my existence but terrified of yours. and i don't really want keefe to suffer. he gets more annoying and cringy every time he suffers so

and it's like i always say: there's no story if the mc isn't going through some sort of trauma the entire time. or at least it would be a hella boring story if they weren't

[laegolas]

right now one of my beloved fandoms has devolved into infighting and drama that we've seen time and time again over some truly meaningless shit. And I'm not blaming any one individual or ship - we collectively do not do enough to educate people about online boundaries.

so here is some unsolicited advice from a Fandom Elder in hopes of eventually jumping off this hamster wheel:

if you see something you do not like or agree with, simply do not engage. ignore it. block the poster if you have to. snide comments are not necessary. the more you engage with something on an algorithmically driven feed, the more it will be put in front of you. the findability heuristic does not care whether attention is positive or negative, it only knows that you clicked. I promise you will see less of the stuff you dislike when you stop saying you dislike it.

for the love of god please drop this idea of 'policing' fandom. this implies a social hierarchy within the community. fandom is not a singular entity, it is a collective. you can only ever control your own experience.

just because you personally dislike a character/ship/interpretation, doesn't mean its morally bad. you do not have to find a reason to dislike something. just accept it doesn't tick the boxes for you and move on.

do not assume in bad faith. more often than not, people misstep due to ignorance, not malice. the internet is full of people from different countries/ages/backgrounds/experiences/identities. you can provide a polite alternative perspective, but whether that is taken onboard is 100% to do with the poster's intentions/perspective, and not anything you can say. you will never change a stranger's mind about deeply held beliefs.

stop feeding the trolls. if you get messages/anons you do not agree with or are attacking you/your fandom/ship/etc you do not have to publish it. if you do, you're giving them precisely what they want: attention. also, these trolls are never the representation of the majority.

play in your own sandbox. do not make moral treatises on why your sandbox is better than someone else's sandbox. if you spend all your time worrying about what someone else is doing, you have no time left for your own sandcastles.

Get comfortable with death of the author. we have unprecedented access to the writers/directors/crew/actors of our favourite media, and they have that same kind of access to us. but what you're engaging in is fiction and storytelling, not a director's positivist, socially-devoid, historically-accurate thesis on an event. the director's interpretation of a story is exactly that: an interpretation. Hell, even if it's a single writer who also edited who also published an extremely indie book, you can still take something different away than what the author originally intended.

canon is NOT the One Truth. some people ship/headcanon/meta irrespective of canon - some people ship/headcanon/meta in spite of it. sure, it'd be nice to see some of your fantasies play out on the screen/page, but that's not the point of fandom.

if you absolutely have to say a negative word about a character/ship (which you really, really do not), do not tag that character/ship. you are inviting the voice and criticism of people who have the opposite opinion of you.

Remember that engaging with hate or drama is always going to leave you feeling worse, no matter your intentions. at the end of the day, these are stories. none of it is real. there are no stakes. no one is committing any crimes.

Remember why you got into that story, that show, that movie, or that book - remember what you loved and what you wanted to share in. choose that instead.

[alphabetboyluvr]

hiii holly! i hope november's treating you kindly so far!

i wanted to ask whether you have any advice for writers that are just starting to publish. literally any modicum would be greatly appreciated.

it's really hard to assess whether one's writing is any good when literally no one ever reads it :( at the same time, I know I should write for myself first and foremost. can't help but want to be held accountable by the possibility of an audience, tho (maybe that's just my brain chemistry??) I fall into the pit of thinking "if no one's reading it, why am I even writing? I can daydream indefinitely and be satisfied. Why write?" Yet I always come back to writing; it's something magnetic.

it's not the same to ask close friends to read ur stuff bc they are ur friends, and may not give you the sincerity ur looking for so as to not discomfort u. conversely, they might not be interested enough so as to pick up on the fine details.

f/u question: how do you deal with publishing your work on the internet for free? does it ever scare you that strangers could copy and republish ur work without your knowing?

I guess that's one of my main apprehensions about posting loyally on writing platforms. I'm scared I'll write something I'm very proud of and have it plagiarized and not be able to track it back as my original property??

anyways, enough of my self-exposing on your q and a's feeling v vulnerable sharing my doubts so openly lol

thank youuuu :) ly <3

hiyaaa!! it's getting chilly, i won't lie, but other than that November has been pretty typical. likewise, i hope it's treating you well too!

honestly the fact you casually drop words like modicum probably suggests you're a paygrade above me in terms of writing hahaha

my answer is a long (srsly i just kept on going lmao) ramble, so I'll put a read more here haha

i've many lovely friends who i absolutely adore that I've met through writing that are now irls, but none of my friends that i know independently outside of writing have ever read my stuff - I've even got irl friends who are deep in the ao3 trenches, who are paying for other tannie writers' patreons, but we have an unspoken rule that my work is not to be read by them. i just don't let my friends read my work, full stop, so i get that sentiment.

the thing is, humans are naturally inclined to be storytellers - it's been that way for thousands of years. our tales are meant to be told. sharing is just a very human thing for us to do.

I've been publishing on wattpad (within the tannie space) for 4 years, now. readers didn't appear overnight - i actually recently found a screenshot of you up? from march 2021. it had 28 parts, 2.03k reads and 313 votes.

it now sits at 62 parts, 1.45million reads and 55k votes.

that's a little bit perspective for you, i guess - i'd written half of an entire novel that was averaging around 70 reads per chapter, but i loved that world, and i had story to tell, so i told it. some people viscerally hated it, some loved it. i was writing for me, and the numbers prove that. if you worry about the numbers, you'll never satisfied.

similarly, comparison is the thief of joy, or so they say.

comparing yourself to other writers is never healthy. there are far more 'successful' authors on wp in terms of reads, but i genuinely mean it when i say i think i have the most fulfilling and rewarding space on tannie wp because my readers are so unbelievably lovely. i wouldn't trade my current readership for bigger numbers, not a chance.

in terms of plagarism, there are 170,000 words in current use within the english language, and 36 plot types. we've exhausted a lot of them, already. overlap and similarities are bound to occur, so i try not get fixated on it.

take cv for example - i was so gassed up with myself when coining the terms mono and multi, only to find out after i'd finished writing the story that there was a drama with a similar concept that also used the term mono for a similar condition that aired after i'd already started writing cv. overlap happens.

similarly, we're a product of the media we consume. endeavour is my favourite word, because it was in a song i liked when i was a teenager and it stuck with me. i use it all the time, and we can trace it back to the pen of alex gaskarth lmao.

I've seen readers of mine publish work that's been heavily inspired by my work - with and without 'permission' - and i just sort of shrug my shoulders whenever i notice it.

the way i see it, we'll never tell the exact same story. likewise, no two readers will ever read identical texts the same way. i encourage creativity, and know how important it is for me to empty my brain, so I'll never go for someone's throat for doing the same. that's how myths were born, right? people telling and retelling the same stories over and over again? how am i gonna write a romeo & juliet x greek mythology inspired fic and then get annoyed for someone taking inspo from me?

just like the way hair will always grow back after a terrible cut, new words can always be written after a disappointing discovery. idk, i just don't take it very seriously, i guess.

as for whether or not your writing is any good - it's totally subjective. there are people who have explicitly, publicly stated their disdain for my writing. I've had cruel opinions about my writing projected and amplified to large followings. and it sucks.

but there are people who have been exceptionally kind about my writing, too. i get some of the loveliest messages in the world. there are tiktoks with hundreds of comments of just unadulterated loveliness directed towards my work. I'm afforded so much grace and love that it can be overwhelming at times.

not everything is for everyone, and that's okay. you can't let yourself get hung up on pleasing everyone.

the one thing i will say, is that if you're seriously concerned about your IP, write original characters, and use wattpad as your platform. i know they have a reputation, but they give a shit about copyright infringement and the second someone gets reported for plagiarism, they'll investigate it, and take down the story.

no reward without risk - you gotta decide if the risk of plagiarism is worth the reward of sharing your work.

and plus, ai is taking over anyways. may aswell write while we still can lol.

so i guess tl;dr - don't let outside influence impact your internal need to create. the right readers will find your work eventually, but it's not an overnight miracle kinda thing. if i stopped writing just because i didn't see results in my stats, then i would have stopped after kumiho, and we'd have never gotten throttle, or bd, or anything else of mine you might have read.

do it because you love it, and it fulfils you. i love the communities built around my stories, and that's why i share them. writing without sharing doesn't fulfil me in the same way.

okay i've really rambled too much so i'll leave it here, but i hope that helps a little!!! or at least has given you insight into my brain!!!!!!

luv u byeeeeeee

[justsome-di]

Jo Sheryl began speaking. Her voice was low. She rocked back and forth on her feet and waved her hand as she ran through notes and a slide show. The lecture hall was silent except for her baritone washing over the waves of seats.

She talked about how she first came up with the idea for her graphic novel and how it seemed to blow up overnight as she was posting it to her blog. The response to it had been overwhelming. With love for Minnie came long-awaited-for acceptance for herself. She had received the positivity she had been seeking for years and also provided it back in turn for those who needed to see themselves in comics.

It was a cycle, she emphasized. When queer people lifted each other up, they lifted themselves up. When queer artists and writers wrote for themselves, they wrote for others and vice versa. The importance of community was never so evident to Jo as it was in the comment section of her comics. Strangers on the internet, all across the country, had made her feel more comfortable in herself than she had felt in a long time.

She was hiding less and less of herself not just to her audience but to the people around her. Though she was out to her family, she hardly ever talked about dating women in front of them. She had straight friends who she knew accepted her but didn’t understand the deeper parts of the LGBT community—the finer details of the history, the ongoing struggles, the little things Jo had to see and cope with every day. With the success of her comic, she started speaking up. Started showing herself more and more, no longer fearing isolation if they decided that she was being “too much.” There was now a massive community to fall back on. ...

“The one thing I want to tell all queer artists,” Jo said, “is that a lot of people are going to tell you no. Publishers will turn you down. Readers will leave nasty comments around the internet. It will feel like you’re not doing anything right for anyone because everyone has something to complain about. A lot of straight people who are trying to help you will tell you to ‘tone down the gay stuff.’”

There was a wave of laughter. Leo laughed, too, to show support and that he understood that pressure to suppress an identity, to try to be a more tolerable version of yourself for others.

“But,” Jo continued, “you don’t have to listen to any of those people. There’s a whole new world out there online where you can share your work with people who are looking to read it. If everyone else is telling you no, you need to give yourself permission to tell yourself ‘yes.’ And I want everyone here, even if you’re not an artist, to be as authentic to yourself as you can be. Even if—and I know you’re all in college so this might be the case—even if you don’t really know who you are yet. Keep telling yourself that you’re allowed to exist in whatever way you’re happiest. The world deserves to know the real you.”

excerpt from chapter 15 of neud (can be read here)

[dianartemiss]

I appreciate your reply to me, but also, in the absolute kindest way possible in return, telling me you're just some rando on the internet so I shouldnt be bothered with what you're saying feels a little weird coming from someone who reblogged me and directly replied to some tags I made, something that I can absolutely see.

It's odd you try and read anxiety in that when all I'm doing is replying to you and not wanting to make a huge deal about it by reblogging you, elaborating on my thoughts and have this whole conversation on a public platform instead of in private. Maybe it's because I asked you to not publish my ask? But that's more because I know people *do* often reply to all asks in public. Like you said, you're a stranger to me. I was just asking politely to keep things private.

Yes, I said "mark my words" because in all honesty, that's the sort of stuff that happens and people get blamed for it, especially non western people that do this. Again, look at the salmon example. I don't think it's bad to make a prediction based on things in the past.

It kind of seems like you're taken aback with me sending you a message, but just as you're some rando replying to me, I was just some rando sharing some incoherent, fragments of thoughts you ended up misinterpreting. You're absolutely allowed to reply to that, but don't get shocked when someone then comes over to elaborate more on their thoughts when you misunderstand them, reblog them, publicly reply to them, with them getting notifications about it and everything.

I'm okay with leaving it here as is. I've just come over to elaborate on my thoughts. You got them, and I hope you have a pleasant rest of your day.

Wow this is out of line, fuck off. You are getting published now since you decided to be an asshole.

[zyrafowe-sny]

What should you do if you feel like loser and absolute waste of space and garbage in the writing community? Like everyone hate you (all the talented well known people at least), your ideas suck, you'll never be popular or get request or anything like that and you'll never have the same amount of friends or support or love as others because you're stupid and annoying and your writing suck and everyone hate you and nothing you do matter? Like you'll never be successful or reach mile stone no matter how much you try like you had opportunity to but you screw it up because you stupid and annoying and dumb and now it's too late?

Hi Anon,

I don't really feel qualified to respond, but I'm going to give it a go anyway and hope that any of this is helpful.

The "writing community" is anyone who wants to try their hand at writing. It includes both the second grader putting together a handmade book during rainy day recess and the award-winning, bestselling professional author. There's no cap to the number of writers. There's no such thing as a waste of space.

"Hate" seems like an awfully strong word. I know it's frustrating when fics don't get the engagement that you want - and don't get attention from people you admire - but sometimes fics have a niche audience and sometimes people are busy. Personally, I've had stretches when I just can't read much at all or only very specific things (like stuff under 3k and nothing too intellectual). Reasons include: life being busy, general executive dysfunction, (rare) stretches when I am super-focused on writing, not wanting to read things too similar to what I'm working on, etc. For several months I just felt overwhelmed by the thought of leaving thoughtful comments and that tricked me into just not reading at all (don't be like me).

Popularity is... complicated. "Success" is complicated. If you're just looking at kudos... a not insignificant chunk is being in the right fandom at the right time (while also writing what lots of people are interested in). Here's a good overview about writing for kudos and how that doesn't relate to quality. You can have super-interesting ideas, but sometimes those ideas have a small audience (and that's ok if that's the story that speaks to you!). Honestly, I think all writers need to write at least one super-niche fic to readjust expectations about AO3 stats.

As for requests... Not all writers like getting them and not all readers like making requests? If I see that someone shared a prompt list ask game post, I'll send an ask, but that's usually it.

As for getting support... sometimes it can come from outside your fandom and from Internet strangers (or real life people in writing groups). I've been trying out this WIP Wednesday game because I wanted some encouragement to make progress, and a good chunk of people who nudge me to write don't follow me and won't ever read the final fic.

As for writing quality... That's also complicated. For one, people have different tastes (my eyes start to glaze over during long fight scenes or long descriptions, but other people eat that up). There are seemingly more-objective criteria (spelling, grammar, etc), BUT: people's knowledge of "the rules" isn't static and can be improved, sometimes it's fine to ignore "the rules" for style, lots of non-native English speakers write fanfic and that can lead to some charming (if less standard) writing, and one of the joys of fanfic is that it doesn't have to follow the norms of published fiction. If there is something that you want to work on in your own writing (for example, description and plot don't come easily to me), there are ways to practice. But only if you want to. Only if it's part of the fun. (Fun doesn't always mean easy.)

As for milestones... I don't know what milestones you're going for, but word count is the one most in your control. Getting that up isn't trivial, but the important thing is to keep chugging along.

I *know* it's hard not to obsess over AO3 stats or compare yourself to other people. I *know*. But try to remember that it's not a race or a competition. Writing is supposed to be fun (as much as writers like to complain about it sometimes). It's fine to want validation and encouragement, but stressing too much about the numbers/how much engagement you're getting can suck all the fun out of the process.

And it's never, ever too late. I took a loooong break from creative writing and sometimes I regret that, but I had other life experiences during that hiatus that help inform my writing now. We write when we have stories to tell and the life circumstances that let the words come out.

I don't know if any of my rambling was useful, but I wish you all the best, Anon. Take care and be kind to yourself. No one else can tell the same story that you can.

[andypantsx3]

andie, you have absolutely mastered the formula for the perfect comfort fic. i literally come back and read and read again almost all of your fics all the time. they never feel rushed and i love that you tend to wrap them up very happily because i'm just not built for sad endings. i would read a 10 million word fic if you wrote it but i love that your fics feel like tv mini-series. i seriously feel like you write the perfect length fics.

it's so clear that you've put a lot of love and hard work into your writing and i love seeing how you've progressed when i read your older fics and then read your new fics. i so so appreciate your hard work and the fact that you are more than generous enough to share it with random strangers on the internet like me! i really admire the work you put into making your fics inclusive for everyone.

the way you've managed to have me consistently reading and reblogging fics for bnha is amazing because i have GENUINELY never seen the show and i literally don't watch anime, but you've made me absolutely adore these characters. you and your writing prowess are immensely powerful. if you ever decide to write and publish an original story, i will be one of the first in line for sure.

on top of all this, you are so kind and welcoming and respectful to everyone who sends asks and messages, even they aren't being respectful to you. you just seem like one of the nicest people ever.

i hope you're doing well and i can't wait to read whatever you post next! have a great day/night! <3

(p.s. the way you write shouto, especially in fingerprints, makes me want to gnaw on him like princess the kitten does. he's absolutely perfect.)

(p.p.s. god this is so long i'm so sorry ajdskjlsk)

Ahhhh omg this is giving me big time zoomies!!! Thank you so much, you are literally an angel!! 😭

I wish I could write longer fics but I have the memory and recall of a goldfish and cannot for the life of me work in C & D plots lmfao. Although someday I am determined to master them!! In the meantime though I am so happy my fics are still satisfying. 🥺 A TV miniseries!! That description makes me feel so good about them.

And thank you for being so kind and patient about everything!! It really has been a learning process in terms of technique (and then also learning to decenter my white ass lmfao) but I am all warm and fuzzy with the thought of you sitting with me through it all!!

I can't believe you haven't seen BNHA though lmfao! I am so beyond honored you read my stuff despite that. But now I wanna sit you down and marathon it with you lmfao, the characters are so unbelievably good--Shouto is so perfectly gnawable even without my help, I assure you!!!

Omg omg but this ask made literally my entire week, thank you so much. You are so kind and so sweet and you made me so happy. I will be thinking about this like constantly and smiling like an idiot, probably on the train where people will think I am disturbed. So thank you for that lmfao.

Sending big love your way!!! ❤️✨

[if-confessions]

if allowed to submit, to add to the demoless conversation...

sometimes we authors do flesh stuff out and then create an intro post but not a demo yet because we want to make sure there is going to be an audience. it doesn't have to be a ton but like, why would I want to spend months (in my case) making a demo only to post it and then find out everyone hates the idea or something?

I can understand where the others submitter come from, I absolutely feel the same. Like "dang it I wanted to drop everything and play now" but my suggestion is to find those games with no demo that you are really interested in and submit asks, engage, ask questions. As an author, that is the best way to motivate and energize me so I can get a demo done.

(no need to ask for permission to submit, I get to choose what ever I want post ;) ) The no-demo discussion is has its own tag. Not sure which ask this one was referring to though...

why would I want to spend months (in my case) making a demo only to post it and then find out everyone hates the idea or something?

Oh, I don't know... maybe:

because you were bored, and one day someone gave you a link to an IF game and you thought you could try that too (<- me).

because you had something to prove to yourself (creating a game, writing a whole ass story, learning a new skill, you name it!).

because you had a story that was important to you and you wanted/needed to share it with the world.

because you vibe with the medium and love to experiment with it, and most of all... do word crimes for the lolz.

because there is a competition in a few months and you really want to join but you need a complete(-ish) version to submit, knowing you'll get feedback for it.

because life is feeling and you are afraid of dying without leaving some sort of trace in this world (small reminder that the IFArchive is a thing, that will keep hosting your complete game even after your death)

because this started as a silly RP and now you are hundreds of thousands of words deep and by jove you will finish the project not matter what.

because.

because the story is for that only one person you are afraid to share it with, so strangers on the internet will do.

because you have bottled feelings and this is the only way you know how to process it.

because your friends are doing IF and you thought it would be entertaining to join in on the fun and complain with them how shitty CSS is being.

because you want a better understanding of the medium.

because spite.

because you want to fill a nice.

because you realised there's not enough representation with your identity and you want to add to it.

because you want to make something that will make everyone hate-play it.

....

You don't need a reason to create a game. You don't need a reason to spend months on something that makes you happy or that entertains you or that helps you grow.

Like you don't need a reason to reach out to other people about your project.

~~~~~

I do have to warn a bit about motivation being fuelled only by outside sources, especially when quantified with notes and numbers of asks and so on.

Starting a whole project with the goal/hope of getting a lot of following/readership quickly will often bring a lot of disappointment when it does not happen, or pressure if it does. Changes in the amount of interaction will also happen overtime, often without rhyme or reason. You could be very popular one week, and everyone moved on the next.

I know inward motivation is hard to muster (and I say this as someone who shruggedly created mini games for fun or pushed myself to finish an update out of spite, but still crave outside approval), but it does become less hard to continue a project if you do it for yourself first.

~~~~~

As for wanting to check for interest, if you are not comfortable publishing an intro post before having a bit more substance, or prefer waiting until you could release something, I would recommend joining a writer's group or small IF server (like the Interact-IF one) and pitch it there.

[ljf613]

Could you please not put untagged madrigalcest discourse in the encanto tag. Ruined my day again. This is why people put dnis on their stuff. They dont want to interact and be reminded of the rampant underage incest shipping. But yay for pedo bruno hcs

Oooh, Anon hate! I'm not sure I can even remember the last time I got one of these-- I was starting to get a little worried there.

I want to start by saying that tagging etiquette is actually super-important to me, so I want to actually address what Anon is talking about here, point by point.

1) Could you please not put untagged madrigalcest discourse in the encanto tag

Personally, I don't use the #madigalcest tag because I feel that it's overly broad-- what is and isn't considered incest varies widely across countries and cultures, so it's not one size fits all.

I do, however, make sure to tag all of my ship-related posts with the appropriate ship tags, so as long as you have the ships you don't want to see content for filtered out, you shouldn't see it.

But I'm pretty sure this ask is in response to this post I made yesterday-- which literally doesn't mention any ships in it at all, "madrigalcest" or otherwise, so I don't really understand what your complaint here is.

2) Ruined my day again

If seeing random strangers online sharing opinions you don't like ruins your day, I would recommend never using the internet ever.

3) This is why people put dnis on their stuff

Again, I'm assuming this is in response to yesterday's post (linked above), where I said that I really don't like it when people put DNIs in their fanfics, and, in particular, in their fic tags.

My argument there was partially rooted in the fact that tags are there more for the benefit of the reader, not the writer. Tags are intended to give the reader an idea of what to expect, or to allow them to filter out content they don't want to see.

And you, Anon, agree with me on this point. I know you do. That's why you sent me an ask telling me that you wanted me to change my tags-- because those tags are, in part, there for you (and anyone else who reads my posts).

This is why I generally think DNIs are a waste of time-- if there's something that you don't want to see, you are responsible for curating your own online experience. Don't rely on random strangers on the internet to do it for you. (We are not your parents.)

In short, tags are there so readers can decide whether or not that's a fic and/or post they want to see. They are not there so writers can dictate who is and isn't allowed to see their content.

(Once you share something publicly, you have virtually no control over who does and doesn't get to look at it. Imagine if someone published a book and put a large note on the back cover that said, "people who like star wars ARE NOT ALLOWED to read this book." Who on earth would take them seriously?)

4) They dont want to interact

If there's someone you don't want to interact with, block them. I'm fairly certain AO3 now has a block feature.

And again, that's your job. A reader is under no obligation not to look at your content just because you told them not to.

Also, as I mentioned in the tags of yesterday's post: someone you disagree with is not going to contaminate you just by reading words that you wrote.

5) and be reminded of the rampant underage incest shipping

I cannot emphasize this enough: if there is something on the internet that you don't want to see, don't look at it.

6) But yay for pedo bruno hcs

I will repeat again that absolutely nothing in yesterday's post was about shipping, let alone any specific ships (with or without Bruno).

Also, I do feel the need to inform you that I don't actually have any, as you call them, "pedo bruno hcs." Not to mention that I'm fairly certain that you don't actually know what a pedophile is. I recommend doing a bit of research-- a five-second Google search may help. The Wikipedia page on pedophilia might also be a good place to start-- read that first paragraph a couple of times until you're sure that you understand what it says.

Have a nice weekend!

[cheolism]

i always kind of knew of kpop bc where i am korean/western media is very big, and i was such a huge 2NE1 fangirl but also very young and lost interest over time until i rediscovered it 😭😭 and my first comeback with them is i think the real/turbulence era, found them through the show kingdom (watched for another group, accidentally found my ult 😭😭)

thank u for sharing your experience omg!! that can’t have been easy you really are amazing, and my family has been very supportive in pushing me to study whatever i want and i went through a lot of decisions making,, had so much help from strangers on the internet,, i was in between international relations or english but ended up going into english bc it’s better suited for my skillset so technically we’re twinning hehe

BABES I'M SORRY I DIDN'T RESPOND !!! SOONER !! i was at my family's for thanksgiving and then IMMEDIATELY got sick. nothing says the holidays like sharing an illness with all of your fucking family !!

i love that journey for you!! what group were you watching for? if i remember right kingdom w ateez was iconic in terms of memes and stuff. i'm p sure they had btob??? which is always a good fucking time lmao.

TWIINNNNS!!!! i'm so glad that you have a supportive family with this!! and yes i totally get what you mean when english is better suited for your skill set!!! bc i am !! the fucking same!! i've always loved english as a subject. i've always loved writing!! i've actually kept the first ever story i wrote which was from the fifth grade and a hunger games parody keke. my biggest dream is to put out a published book!! but anyways!! i love writing and essays and reading and research!! and i love teaching!! so i'm majoring in english and minoring in history!! i'd love to teach either.

[batmansymbol]

hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

[radiodread]

imagine you're putting on a singing performance. eighty people watch/listen to said performance but only two people applaud you afterwards. no reviews online or in the paper following the performance, either. you have no idea if people actually liked it or if those two people only clapped their hands because they felt like they had to since they watched the whole thing, after all.

publishing fic is awful. it's awful because you're excited about this thing you're writing: you put so much time and effort and care into making sure it's up to your own ridiculously high standards. then you decide to share it with the internet, and while some people read it, they don't tell you what they think. they never do. and it makes you doubt yourself after several works get the same treatment, and it doesn't even have to be for a small fandom- it can be for big ones, too. doesn't matter. no one gives a damn and it's impossible to get your works noticed or much less commented on.

i've adapted the so-called pasta method as of late: throw it at the wall and see if it sticks. written a lot of fics in a short amount of time because i had and still have many ideas i want to write out. and then i publish them, see which ones people seemed to at least like enough to say "hey this was good, thank you for sharing". percentage-wise, not many at all. many pasta strands flopping down onto the kitchen counter. i'm very bad at cooking pasta, it seems.

someone told me that lack of feedback doesn't have to mean that my writing is bad, but i am and always have been the type of person to interpret it that way. silence speaks volumes, usually in a negative sense: not good enough to say anything about. i know that people always tell you to create first and foremost for yourself and because you want it to exist. and i do. but it used to be fun to share works with others and people used to tell me what they thought and some even got excited. nowadays even sharing fic with friends is met with a lukewarm response, a 🔥-react on discord and not much else. it feels like they're nowadays just saying or reacting to it because we're friends and they "have to". and it really kills your motivation to continue sharing, when strangers don't leave comments and your friends don't give a damn. on the other hand, i always read my friends' fics if the fandom is relevant to my interests and i always leave comments along with a kudos. it sucks to not get the same treatment in return, but contradictingly enough i also don't want friends to read my stuff 'cause they "have to".

this is how creators stop sharing their creations. this is how i stop sharing mine. i'm tired of having my self-confidence shattered every time i post something new. i will continue to write but only for myself and that's that on that.

(finally: no, this isn't me attempting to guilt-trip people or gain sympathy. i needed a place to vent and that's all there is to it.)

[justsome-di]

I wrote this bit of Nobody Ends Up Dead last night and this morning and I really like it and wanted to share.

Context: Leo wants to be a better ally so Eve takes him to see a lecture by Jo Sheryl, a queer artist visiting their campus.

transcript under cut

Jo Sheryl began speaking. She talked about how she first came up with the idea for her graphic novel and how it seemed to blow up overnight as she was posting it to her blog. The response to it had been overwhelming. With love for Minnie came long-awaited-for acceptance for herself. In one week, she had received positivity she had been seeking for years and also provided it back in turn for those who needed to see themselves in comics. It was a cycle, she emphasized. When queer people lifted each other up, they lifted themselves up. When queer artists and writers wrote for themselves, they wrote for others and vice versa. The importance of community was never so evident to Jo. Strangers on the internet, all across the country, had made her feel more comfortable in herself than she had felt in a long time. She was hiding less and less of herself not just to her audience but to the people around her. Though she was out to her family, she hardly ever talked about dated or women in front of them. She had straight friends who she knew accepted her but didn’t understand the deeper parts of the LGBT community—the finer details of the history, the ongoing struggles, the little things Jo had to see and cope with everyday. Leo had never thought about being queer in such a way before. It was just like being Latino. He liked seeing people like him succeed. It felt good. It felt like he was capable of also succeeding—and doing so without having to give up any part of himself. For a while, he didn’t speak a lot of Spanish outside of the apartment. If Damián slipped into it when they were out, Leo stubbornly only responded in English. Damián, equally stubborn, would only respond in Spanish until Leo realized that Damián wasn’t forcing it but was giving Leo permission to continue to hold onto their heritage even after moving out of their parents’ house and cutting off that one part of his life. There were questions after Jo’s lecture. Someone asked if she was going to continue her series. She said for one more volume and then she would move on to other projects. She had more confidence now to pursue other stories she had been too scared to tell. She was asked about upcoming artist workshops she was hosting in the city, thoughts about a recent collaboration with a writer, and if she had any advice for other queer artists. “The one thing I want to tell all queer artists,” Jo said, “is that a lot of people are going to tell you no. Publishers will turn you down. Early readers will leave nasty comments around the internet. A lot of people who are trying to help you will tell you to ‘tone down the gay stuff.’” There was a wave of laughter. Leo laughed, too, to show support and that he understood that pressure to suppress an identity, to try to be a more tolerable version of yourself for others. “But,” Jo continued, “you don’t have to listen to any of those people. There’s a whole new world out there online where you can share your work with people are looking to read it. If everyone else is telling you no, you need to give yourself permission to tell yourself ‘yes.’ And I want everyone here, even if you’re not an artist, to be as authentic to yourself as you can be. Even if—and I know you’re all in college so this might be the case—even if you don’t really know who you are yet. Keep telling yourself that you’re allowed to exist in whatever way you’re happiest.”

[parasolparasol]

A redesign of Tumblr mobile

(Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Tumblr in any way. Any opinions I express in this post are my own. I’m just somebody who has been on Tumblr for many years and wanted to try my hand at redesigning it. I recognize that there may be potential flaws in the following post, and these faults are 100% my own and no one else’s. In an ideal world i’d have access to insider metrics, but in any case this isn’t meant to be collectively exhaustive in any way.)

Hello there! I picked up this redesign project in January and i’ve decided to publish this now, since I wasn’t sure how long it’d take me to do a full write up. I’ve talked to around 100 people over the course of these 2 months and i’ve ran multiple rounds of tests, and I felt bad about leaving everyone hanging. So, here are the results with brief explanations for now! I intend to type out the full process and design rationale at a later date. If you received a message about this within the last 2 months and answered me, thank you so much! 

Alright, let’s get started. At the time of writing, Tumblr for iOS is currently on version 19.0. (Warning: this is a long post, there are badly compressed big gifs.)

Adding Tags

During interviews and in surveys (n=83, python and excel really came in clutch when sorting through the data haha), people often told me they avoided reblogging on mobile due to the large hassle of typing every tag out, opting to save them to drafts instead and add tags later. In terms of data, given that people hit reblog (82% of all users surveyed), 84% of these people also liked to add tags, so it was clear that facilitating the tagging system would be important. To help solve this, I designed a method for people to quickly add tags to post topics they often reblogged. As well as being accessible from pressing the tagging area on the posting screen, this can be accessed from the hold menu, to speed up the interaction even more. 

Another issue that commonly cropped up was the multitude of possible ways to tag a trigger warning. If somebody missed out a tagging method for a TW, they still ran the risk of seeing it on their dashboard. I added a toggle for tagging something as a trigger warning, which would suggest what others commonly added (and you can type your own). This saves people from having to tag “tw:xyz” “tw: xyz” “tw xyz” “cw xyz” etc. (you get the point!) and makes sure that “xyz” is unambiguously marked as a trigger warning. (Can internet strangers be trusted to tag sensitive content properly? Quick study here)

(Reblogging with the hold menu on the left. Posting on the right. If Tumblr displays them top to bottom instead of side by side (I'll let it slide, I know they're reworking the web post editor right now), the top post=left. the bottom post=right. If you’re viewing this on my blog page, please click on the gifs!)

A bonus: A ‘read more’ button has been added back to mobile. Scrolling through long posts gets tedious sometimes, and people like to talk about more personal thoughts under read mores, so i’ve made it easier to access the feature.

Liking Posts

89% percent of users reported that they liked to hold on to posts for future retrieval. With this in mind, I added in a feature to categorize likes, making searching through your likes for future retrieval easier. The ability to like quickly without sorting is retained, added to a hold menu like a quick reblog. After liking, users are also prompted to reblog (PSA: reblogging helps spread OC around! please reblog OC you like more!)

(Liking on tap on the left. Quick liking with the hold menu on the right.)

Your likes can be found and sorted under your blog. 

Recommended For You

Tumblr is fundamentally about exploring and sharing content about topics you love, so I tried to rearrange the navigation to make it easier for users to look at new content about the things they like. The tabs are now rearranged so that new content is easier to find from the homescreen. To ensure relevance, followed tags are now toggles, so the user can pick and choose exactly what they want to see in the recommended tab if they want to. A radar post has also been placed in this tab to increase exposure to featured content creators. (Does being on the radar help out OC posters? Quick study here)

Exploring, and search results

Now that stuff recommended for you has been moved next to the dashboard, the explore page now defaults to trending posts. The top/recent page for tags you followed are now located in the search bar menu. Upon clicking on a search term, you can sort through recent/top posts and post types separately. For example, if you felt like looking at some new fanart that day, all you would have to do is sort by recent photo posts instead of having to sift through every recent post, making it easier for new OC to be discovered.

[mallowstep]

this is like a super weird. question but do you have any tips wrt finding people to talk to about warrior cats stuff 🥲 i have no wc friends i swear

irl or online?

irl good fucking luck. my friends nod along for matthew's weekly hour-of-cat-talk, mostly.

online u just gotta talk to people. literally everyone i know hates starting conversations but like. wants to talk to people. ik i am slowly ascending into grumbly old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn, but i swear i'm actually a very chill person i am just also very tired.

i think i reblogged a post abt the difficulty of finding fandom friends earlier (which might b what inspired this), but like. i honestly got SUPER lucky that i've made wc friends. before this i had fandom friends n we shared experiences, but we weren't in the same fandoms at ALL. most of my friends r in other fandoms n talk about them w each other, i consume one (1) piece of media.

(altho i've felt like shit for a few days so i might FINALLY start watching killing eve.)

anyway, yeah. you just gotta talk to people. some safety/advice/etc. type tips that won't help you make friends but will help you make good ones:

personally i do not believe in giving out discord on a first date, so to speak. we will chat on tumblr dms until i feel like ur a real person. every step closer to ur inner circle of information, the more u risk.

try to make sure ur not getting attached to an anti. like. it sucks to find out that you are, and it's better for everyone if you do a quick search of their blog. if you guys don't know how to do that effectively lemme know and i'll give u a tutorial.

i can't give discord server joining advice bc i'm in one (1) discord server n it's a group chat basically. some of my friends have been burned in servers tho so just b careful.

usually one person can introduce u to others but it might b a slow process.

this is weirdly specific but i don't think the Fastest road to friendship is by making someone something. dgmw i love when people make me things n i love making things for my friends (even if i'm super slow about it sorry "bestow all grace upon my song" will one day be published), but i think it's just like. not the best way to establish a connection. i think this will make sense but i don't know how to explain it? i'm not saying like. u've ruined ur chances at friendship if you do that. i'm just saying i think u can Slow it Down.

reaching out is fucking hard but i was literally just like. i am so grateful to the people who have started a conversation w me? they are near and dear to my heart. if you feel weird abt starting a conversation that's valid but for like. reassurance. it's always hard but people (generally) want to talk.

also just. b direct. say "u seem cool i want to b ur friend. here's some of my thoughts on something we're both interested. [thoughts]." you don't have to be quite that direct but there's nothing like a message you don't really get the point of. maybe i'm just autistic but "i'm reaching out because you seem cool and i want to make friends" goes over MUCH better to me than almost anything else.

lastly: remember that they're still an internet stranger. it takes time to get to know people. my friends certainly know more about me than y'all know, but you can't like. drop shit on someone first conversation. be careful about how you open up. good people won't push you for more than you're comfortable with, etc.

best of luck anon!

[lovingremus]

Youtuber Sirius part 2

Because a few asked for it :)

Read part 1 here!

This is set in the future (roughly August 2021) so who knows how things are then really, BUT in this blissful fantasy world, people have been super dedicated to getting the virus under control the whole year and the travel bans etc. are lifted so this can happen!!

CW the pandemic (& long-distance relationship if you don’t like to read about that <3)

It’s been over a year of twelve-hour daily phone calls and video chats. Birthdays and holidays celebrated over Zoom or FaceTime. Hundreds of “I love you” and “wish you were here” changed over the phone.

It’s been over a year of getting to know every detail of the other, a year of sharing secrets and dreams. It’s been over a year of laughter and ever-growing love, but also yearning and tears and words of comfort whispered into the speaker in the middle of the night, when the heartache of not being able to be together got too much for either of them.

But they have found ways to feel closer to each other. Sirius orders Remus a rose delivery on the door every Friday, sends him almost weekly packages filled with lovely gifts (usually a bunch of his own clothes—Remus rarely wears anything else these days, because oh god they smell like Sirius and it’s SO good). Remus still writes music for Sirius’s videos, and a half of his other songs are about him.

It’s been a while since Sirius hit forty million subscribers on his channel and a couple of months since Remus published his first full album on Spotify. They have both been guests at late-night shows via video calls. Several articles have been written about them, both as individuals as well as a couple.

So, Sirius and Remus are doing alright, but missing each other more than anything. Still, they both understand it’s more important to be patient and wait until the situation calms down rather than carelessly run to each other. Travelling abroad is out of the question right now. So they wait, and wait, and wait. It will all be worth it, they keep saying, you’re worth the wait.

Remus has watched all of Sirius’s videos. It wasn’t even hard, after all, almost like getting absorbed into a good series. He couldn’t stop watching as soon as he’d started, skipping sleep to the point Sirius threatened to make all his videos private until Remus took a nap (this happened quite a few times). Remus could definitely understand people’s obsession, even more so as he was wildly in love, and watching Sirius’s videos brought him so much comfort, a way to spend time with him during the long hours Sirius was asleep or otherwise not available.

He watches Sirius’s London vlog every day. Seeing him walk along those familiar streets is comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. And he had been so close, about twenty feet from him that night, based on the restaurant clip on the video.

Remus doesn’t remember seeing him and feels horribly guilty for it. He can’t believe they have ever been so close, in the same room, breathing the same air. He might have even brushed past his shoulder as he had exited—he had touched someone. Had it been him? Remus couldn’t tell, and neither could Sirius, who had been engaged in a conversation with someone by the time Remus was leaving the stage.

It’s been over a year, and at the end of the summer, their time finally comes. The cases are way down almost all around the world, many restrictions have been lifted. And while it’s still very important to stay safe and careful, they can start planning. They decide to meet in London, where it all started, they both get tested, and as soon as the results come back as negative, the plan is a go. Soon, they’ll be together for a whole month.

They’ll have to quarantine for two weeks as soon as Sirius arrives, which at this point is the opposite of a problem to them. Remus doesn’t go to the airport—he could be circled by fans, which is a horrifying thought, to be honest. Not only does Remus fear a bunch of strangers breathing all over him, no matter how kind their intentions would be, he still isn’t used to being recognised like that. And to avoid that happening to Sirius either, they decide not to publicly tell about the trip until they’re safe and secure at Remus’s house.

Sirius is a mess for the whole ten-hour long flight, not even dreaming of getting any sleep. He’s excited to the point he feels nauseous, he’s fidgeting with the bracelets that Remus made and sent him for his birthday.

Remus has moved houses, leaving behind his small flat and upgrading to a nice three-bedroom apartment. His dream is to have Sirius moving in with him one beautiful day. He’s waiting outside of his home now, switching between pacing back and forth, and sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree, because his legs are like jelly and just won’t carry. He almost faints when Sirius texts he’s only a few blocks away, and soon enough he sees a taxi at the end of the street. It pulls over. The backdoor opens. And there he is.

They don’t waste a second. Sirius runs toward Remus, pulling his mask down as Remus does the same to his own. They crash against each other, hugging so tight they can barely breathe. After a minute, Sirius pulls back just enough to grab Remus’s head between his hands and pull him into a hard kiss. Remus lets him, answering eagerly. They stay like this for a long time.

Later, Sirius posts an Instagram story of the two of them; Remus relaxed against his shoulder on a sofa, both smiling so happily. And the internet goes wild.

Sirius quickly puts up a few question boxes on his story, asking for video ideas and questions. They answer a bunch of them right away, and Sirius posts many cute videos of Remus grinning and blushing and hiding behind decorative pillows, and then they decide to continue later. Sirius has a massive jet lag, and Remus is just as exhausted from just feeling so much, so they go to bed early. Though not much sleeping happens until much later.

The following days are the happiest of their lives. There’s so much to talk about, whenever their lips aren’t occupied by other activities. There are so many things they want to do, even very ordinary things. Actually have a dinner date. Actually watch a movie together.

Nothing is more wonderful than hearing Remus play his guitar and sing right in front of him again, and this time, it’s only for Sirius. He plays all of the sweetest love songs, and Sirius cries and laughs and sings along.

Nothing is more wonderful than to hear Sirius talk to his camera in a low voice when he thinks Remus is asleep, telling the viewers about their day, saying such lovely things about him, and then turning back to stroking Remus’s hair as he quickly closes his eyes and pretends to be completely unaware.

Nothing is more wonderful than being able to kiss, to touch, to hear the other’s voice without the line rattling, see the other’s face from angles that don’t really show on their videos.

They film several videos over the days—a few Q&As, quarantine vlogs and a video where they switch occupations for a day, Remus learning how to handle the camera while Sirius picks up the guitar and attempts to write a song. All of them become very popular, and everybody seems to be very happy for them.

When the quarantine is over and they are allowed to go outside, they take long walks and attend low-risk outdoor events and have picnics at a park. They spend nights cooking and playing games, just doing domestic couple stuff, hoping it never ends.

It’s all so much better than either of them ever dared to wish for. They are impatient for the next time they’ll be able to meet even long before Sirius has to leave in the first place. But that dreadful day draws mercilessly closer, and they take the last week off social media, just focusing on each other.

Work becomes secondary, but the majority of their fans seem to understand. They both are more than deserving of a break, and are just too busy being in love anyway.