#nobody ends up dead

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

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[obsessedoverwater]

Sometimes the doomed old man toxic yoai gets so bad you just have to start writing about fucking revenge guac to get over the pain.

[what-if-this-happens-instead]

gonna break your heart <3

I see a lot of people characterise Jason as very, very vocal about his death - almost flaunting it, throwing it in peoples face. And I think he did, at first. He screamed about it, constantly - but, but, as time went on... I like to think he stopped. Slowly, but surely I think Jason stopped bringing it up, as a weapon to use against people or at all.

Because when he did it - he was screaming out for people to listen, to hear his pain and to accept him, see why he is the way he is.

And when he did - he got eye rolls, called dramatic.

So, Jason, reborn and hurting, half-mad, seemingly replaced like nothing happened screams out - I died, I died and it doesn't look like it mattered to you. Did I matter to you?

In response - eye rolls. Sighs. Oh, look at Jason, he's crazy, ignore him.

So Jason shuts up about it - because, obviously, it doesn't matter to them, does it?

[weirdocat83]

I think a post canon react fic would be really funny for arcane. Possibly using some sort of offshoot of hextech, ekko would be experimenting and considering he quite LITERALLY made a Time Machine, it wouldn’t be too far fetched to make a machine that shows the events of the past and/or gather everyone involved. Past and present. (Or even from the other timeline if someone wants to get crazy with it)

What I think would be funny is them finding out through this device that Jinx is alive. Like imagine making your way to a whole new continent and suddenly you’re teleported to a room full of people you let think you died. Awkward as hell. So while Vi (and possibly Ekko? It’s really not clear if he knows she’s alive or not) is breaking down because holy shit her sister is alive and she’s never letting go of her, Caitlyn is off in the corner standing awkwardly because she knew she was alive but wasn’t saying anything. Also jinx is 100% trying to stay as far away as possible (possibly hiding behind Ekko? They seem close during the final battle sooo…)

Meanwhile their past selves are looking on in confusion and slight horror. They don’t say anything until powder trips over her own feet and holy shit is that weird for literally anyone and everyone from the future. A) everyone in the past is so young and Not Traumatized, it’s objectively pretty adorable B) there are a lot of people from that past that are not there in the future or conversely, a lot of people in the past who are still alive. The people from the past are horrified at the changes while those from the present are nostalgic and sad at their past selves. ( imagine past sevika looking at her lost arm. Mylo and claggor wondering what happened to them. Legit just everything abt Vander, Silco and even Benzo. Also the enforcer woman who made a deal with Vander (editing later after remembering, her name is Grayson). Also Jayce and Viktor because they kinda caused ALL OF THIS. imagine looking at your future and seeing firsthand how bleak it is)

There’s also the fact that literally NOBODY in the show knows everything. NOBODY. Watching the show and finding out about things that nobody but one person knew about. Explanations and feelings between the characters and, well yeah. Hell, you could even add original scenes or your take on the deleted scenes. I’m a sucker for react fics and personally I’d love to see the characters talk to their future selves and see firsthand what they’d become. I think it’d be interesting.

[schellis]

thyme finding kale half dead on the ground after she wakes up from getting knocked out by lightning at the end of phase 2

ref image & closeups under the cut :]

[marcobodtlives]

Mikasa and Annie on a Girls Trip™️ but it’s just them kicking people in the shin and shoulder throwing full-grown men.

(Reiner and Jean on Boys Trip™️ but it’s literally just them getting into a slap fight in the forest then sobbing over their murdered boyfriends)

[mansnooziesmoosmutzel]

"In flames he returns to darkness ..."

[justsumtransdude2000]

The 'she never would've let you leave if she didn't have a spare' trope genuinely haunts me. It keeps me up at night. I truly wonder deeply and profoundly abt it every single day. i haven't even read Choices yet the label of spare haunts every single interpretation I will ever have of regulus arcturus black. he can never not have a brother, even when he doesn't. even when he responds "barty and evan are fine, thanks for asking.' even when he feels like his brother will never forgive him for the sacrifices he has had to make. every word he speaks, every thing he does every breath he takes is all through the lens of being the safety blanket for a loose cannon of a sibling and it haunts me.

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[justsome-di]

Alex rushed out of the bedroom, wide awake but clearly very confused. He found the speaker and turned it off right as Mariah was belting. Damián stopped his dance at the beep of the Bluetooth disconnecting, his arms falling to his side in disappointment. “That was a gay bop,” Damián said. Then, he accused, “Homophobia.”

nothing says merry christmas like accusing your boyfriend of homophobia

[pittsburghhockeybirds]

The 2 times they thought of moments from the Hand Kiss™ ...I literally think about this too often

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.

[saturnneedsspace]

Episode 2 of Dead Boy Detectives is giving me Destiel War Flashbacks. Edwin fidgets nervously with his tie when Niko talks about wanting something she can't have.

[multiiocular-mushroom]

Going back to that silly little Madoka AU for The Terror, and it's finally Hickey time :D

(bits of lore and another pic under the cut)

As a magical girl:

Funnily enough, out of the original cast he resembles Sayaka the most, up to fighting at very close range. Makes his deal with Kyubey soon after the flogging, which is why he is aware of the whole "you are now a Soul Gem piloting your former body" thing pretty much from the start and sees it more as a blessing. Considers trapping Tuunbaq and using its energy instead of merely killing it (think Alina Grey and her entrapment cubes). Also he's the one who takes down witch!Goodsir.

As a witch:

In those of Jopson's timelines where Hickey has the time to witch out before Tuunbaq shatters his gem, he becomes Эван Сесил, the elusive witch with a mirror for a face.

The inside of its barrier vaguely resembles London, every house window an empty grave. The witch is followed around the barrier by blinding light, making it even harder to analyze its appearance or movements. Its minions roam the premises on wooden horses, an attempt to still have the mutineers by its side. This witch exhausts you with chases until you slow down and are swallowed up by the ground/walls or stabbed by a minion.

One who fights this witch must convince it that it never existed in the first place.

[dukenukemstits]

A ex member of one direction dying was not on my 2024 bingo card...

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: a The Umbrella Academy-themed tarot card, illustrated in a way that is supposed to resemble the style of the comics (though how well that is achieved is up for debate). It is Ten of Swords, featuring an illustration of Leonard Peabody slash Harold Jenkins who has been Very Killed by ten sharp implements, mostly knives (and one pair of scissors), impaled into his chest by Viktor's mind powers. He is slumped in a chair in his dining room, with blood coming from both the knife wounds and his hairline. His missing eye has a white bandage over it, which is slightly stained with the blood coming from his face. End ID.]

we take a brief interlude from the major arcana part of the tarot series to add a sneaky little bonus. i'm absolutely not doing any more of the deck that's outside the major arcana, but this one i had a Vision for. Or rather, i had a vision of leonard in the sword suit and picked whichever card's meaning that would let me stick the most knives in him. luckily, i got to stick The Most knives in him!