#the headmate reviews are IN

[plurralthiing]

love the insane amts of friendship going on inthis image. i hopei can be just like this image too one day

[pretentious-art-love]

Book Reviews #5 - Tulpamancy by Eevee Craft

Tulpamancy is the practice of consciously creating and interacting with a sentient, autonomous mental companion, often called a tulpa. In common terms it is basically the next step of having imaginary friend. If you are disciplined you can get into this practice for years until you can create a separate, independent identity in its own separate network of neurons in your brain. This is a topic that deeply fascinates me and I have finally read this entire guide I found in Tulpamancy circles. While still not a full fledged book, the guide is available online in a google docs file, I messaged the author to give me a copy I could download so I could read it on my e-reader and they gracefully accepted, with the condition I didn't leak the file so they could publish it down the line. This is a cover I quickly made in 5 minutes for my version.

The book is filled with tons of techniques and considerations about the creation of a tulpa. How to practice visualisation, conceptualisation of the person, the possibilities like giving the tulpa in question a different body to a human one, the ability to give them independence and train of thought and the limitations like how much the brain can host each different personality at the same time, how to handle parallel processing and the basis of switching and possession.

This topic deeply fascinates me and as a manual this book is really valuable, basically, it all depends on how you can conceptualize things, everyone can imagine anything they want, right? The difficulty is in making imagined places, ideas, people and characteristics to persist during time, this is the crux of the matter. I have learned how fluid identity can be and the concept itself is fascinating. Nowadays people are very averse to plurality and they point out to cases like DID where plurality turns into a disorder or condition that can affect your life, but I have learned so much and I see the world of plurality and tulpamancy as full of possibilities. This kind of things deeply inspire me and captivate me.

8/10

[nexus-nebulae]

oh my god. that one "oc" we wrote who had DID that we came up with before our syscovery. that was not an oc. oh my god cody and blake why did you take five years to make yourselves known to us-

[computer-boy]

mari: *fucking dead*

sunny and basil: 😦

kel, appearing from nowhere: i warned you about stairs bro...

[funnier-as-a-system]

Just a heads up someone who @'d you recently (404shcats) is red on SE and likely a TERF. Thought you should know, stay safe broski

-Recoil

Hello. Thank you for the concern, but Shinigami Eyes is no longer a trustworthy tool for scouting transphobes such as TERFs. The person you mention addresses this in their pinned post here, and more information can be found in and in the notes of this post. In short, those who moderate and often report users through Shinigami Eyes have begun being/using it to be very transphobic in recent times, especially towards non-dysphoric trans people, trans men, trans people of color, and general trans + intersex inclusionists, framing these people as "transphobes" for not agreeing with common exclusionism and gatekeeping, much like how other inclusionists are framed as bigots for not participating in lateral aggression or discrimination against a particular group (e.g. this is what anti-endos do, framing all pro-endos as ableist for supporting endogenic systems). We do not use Shinigami Eyes and do not consider it a trustworthy source on who is or isn't a transphobe, as it is little more than a stranger's individual and vague review of someone with little to no evaluation from anyone else, which means it is subject to their bias and the bias of the few moderators that run it. I would highly recommend no longer using the tool from here on out and instead evaluating individual blogs for yourself. Other habits and tools that show more promise in avoiding transphobia/transphobes include:

Blocking tags related to TERFism, transphobia, and radical feminism.

Learning dogwhistles such as "womxxn", "womban/wombyn", and "gender traitors", often used by TERFs.

Blocking those who say things that TERFs often say, such as "testosterone is poison" or "all men are perverts", or who show concern about "men in women's bathrooms", "misguided/manipulated young girls mutilating their bodies", or "gender ideology".

Carefully considering posts you see about gender and sex related issues from people you don't know/trust, so as to check if they include subtle bioessentialism, gender essentialism, sexism, intersexism, or transphobia.

Listening to trans and intersex folk about their experiences with TERFs and transphobia/intersexism, so as to get a better idea of what to look out for and how to support trans and intersex people.

In other words, thank you for the concern, but please do not rely on word-of-mouth (as that is essentially how Shinigami Eyes works) to spread rumors on who is and is not a bigot without fact-checking. Fact-checking shows that this system is not a TERF. [PT: Fact-checking shows that this system is not a TERF. / end PT] I'd be surprised if any TERF was reblogging that many positive posts about trans folk and had several openly trans headmates.

[sophieinwonderland]

Here's Ableist AspenFrostEN Trying To Pack as Much Misinformation and Ableism As She Can Into One Minute:

This sentence is, perhaps, the one and only true thing in this entire video.

Oh, please do enlighten me, Aspen!

I mean, sure, created systems are a thing. Tulpas are the main example of this and the ones that have been studied the most. But there are created systems that aren't tulpas, such as in daemonism.

Also, plenty of traumagenic DID systems have intentionally created alters too, so it's weird to make "people who believe that you can force yourself to have alters" an endogenic system thing.

ALSO, basically no tulpagenic system I know actually uses the word "alter" to describe their headmates.

While most endogenic systems are plural without a disorder, it's bizarre to use this as your definition instead of just "an endogenic systems is plural without trauma" as it's actually defined.

Founded entirely on Tumblr???

Aspen, dear...

Are you... capable of reading? Here's the paragraphs you're looking at. Notice how it says natural system predated the word endogenic?

Yes, the word endogenic was first used on Tumblr... as a replacement of "natural system" or "natural multiple" that dated back to the 90s, before you were even born!

Here's one site mentioning natural multiples in their glossary in 2003:

And here's the origin in a page dated for 1998:

You clearly know NOTHING about the plural history that you're rambling on about.

And how am I only 20 second into this???

What do you consider a medical consensus again?

The World Health Organization's ICD-11, the diagnostic handbook used around the world, explicitly states that you can experience multiple "distinct personality states," the characterizing feature of DID according to it, without having a mental disorder:

That's the World Health Organization's official handbook!!!

I'm not sure what more of a consensus you need.

But I'll add that Tulpamancy is acknowledged as a real psychological phenomenon by Dr. Samuel Veissiere, psychiatry professor at McGill University.

And Dr Eric Yarbough, Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association has stated that you can be plural without trauma or a disorder in a book reviewed and published by the American Psychiatric Association.

And these claims are undisputed. There is no peer reviewed paper by any psychiatrist that has claimed you need trauma or a mental disorder to be plural.

Now, onto the next round of misinformation!

I recognize that page! That's DID-research! A glorified blog that convinced an entire generation that OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b were actual medical terms for disorders they could be diagnosed with!

(Spoiler: The aren't!)

Is that so?

It would probably be really inconvenient for this narrative if the creators of the theory of structural dissociation ALSO have said it may be possible people to form self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality without trauma, huh?

I mean, something like that would just completely destroy everything you're trying to sell and make you look even more like a hack who has no idea what she's talking about, wouldn't it?

...

...

...

This paper is by two of the authors of the Haunted Self, which I probably shouldn't need to tell you since you're so knowledgeable about plurality, is the book that created the theory of structural dissociation of the personality.

Even the creators of the theory you're citing are saying plurality could have other causes.

Wouldn't that require you to actually know what endogenic systems actually believe? Or, you know, literally anything about plural history? Or anything at all? 🤔

Now we're back to ableist Aspen having no idea what Schizophrenia is and using it as an insult. 🙄

Aspen is not hiding her intent. Her goal is to spread hate, to come into our communities and bully us.

Aspen is a liar, a bully and an abuser.

But I hope I've also demonstrated pretty thoroughly that on top of that, she also incredibly ignorant.

She's ignorant of psychiatry. She's ignorant of plural history.

Every word out of her mouth on this topic is a lie she made up, and hopes her followers will be gullible enough to swallow, because while she may act confident in her misinformation, the fact is that she doesn't know anything about what she's talking about.

[joyce-stick]

An Essay About Slash Review of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, A Video Game Which is Very Good

(and also: has prompted many quite wrong rather bad takes)

An essay by Audrey of the joystick system

The very bad discourse and drama around The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has served to obscure the simple fact that it is quite a very good video game and this video essay is here to tell you about that.

Video version:

Previous video essay: Lost Judgment's Lost Plot

If you enjoy this essay, please consider following us here or on any other platforms, and/or donating to support future works via our Patreon or Ko-fi.

Patreon • Ko-fi • YouTube • Twitter • Cohost • Tumblr • Bluesky

Transcript:

Hi everyone. So. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is really, really fucking good.

If you’ve heard of this game, you’ve probably heard of it in the context of memes, screenshots divorced from context, and/or capricious moral outrage. If you’ve not heard of this game, well, you’re hearing of it now! And good thing, too, because much of the coverage and discussion around this game that already exists has… been, let’s just say, not particularly earnest. I hope to remedy that at least somewhat with this video.

If you’ve heard about this game because of discourse, and come here expecting drama and hot takes, then, this may not be your video. Or your YouTube channel, even. Or maybe it is, if you’d like the delicious comments section. If you’re that sort of clicker, though— welcome! I’m Audrey of the joystick system, and this is the place where I (and my headmates) talk honestly about things we care about, and I hope you’ll hear me out a little and maybe consider staying and improving our viewer retention. Thanks, if you do.

So, to writ: My purpose today is to gush. I will be gushing here. For most of it. And as for what I will be gushing about, some of it will be gushing BLOOD, GUTS, AND DELICIOUS DEATH. I am entirely serious. The subject of today’s presentation contains mature content, including copious foul language and themes slash depictions of death, cannibalism, cultism, demon summoning rituals, parricide, dystopian social decay, and heterosexuality. Oh, and also a little bit of incest as a treat, I guess, but the incest is heterosexual, and that’s worse.

[long pause]

Excellent. You’re still here. So. This morbidly beautiful video game may not be for everyone, but that’s good, because it is instead for exactly me! A short plot synopsis of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley might go as follows:

if you're not watching the video listen to this for extra effect

Siblings Andrew and Ashley Graves are forcibly quarantined inside their apartment by the local authorities, with no food and even less hope for rescue. Their parents have abandoned them. Absolutely no one is coming to save them. In order to survive and escape this awful situation, they butcher and consume the fresh flesh of some guy who got himself soul vored by a demon that he summoned without a plan.

This conspicuously carnivorous crime, and their effort to cover their tracks, puts them in a fair bit of a deeper shithole than they are already in. So naturally they keep digging themselves deeper by committing even more crimes, AND in the process, also dig themselves deeper into their toxic codependent sibling relationship, which is going just great, thank you. Sure, Andrew almost killed his sister, but he didn’t, and that’s what matters! And she still loves him, so it’s all good!

This is of course a joke.

First thing I absolutely love about this game is the writing. It’s witty, intelligent, uncompromising, and just generally delicious. It holds nothing back in depicting the toxicity of the two leads and their relationship, resulting in two compelling characters whose flaws and few virtues perfectly complement slash exacerbate one another, resulting in a beautiful train wreck of a relationship dynamic that proves equal parts disturbing, mesmerizing, and hilarious.

The charming darkly comedic bite of the writing style also lends a lot of great character to the setting. This sardonically presented dystopian world is both richly detailed and fleetingly elaborated on, a commendable balance to have achieved, in my opinion. The first chapter of this game is hilarious not just because of the banter between Ashley and Andrew (which is terrific), but because it presents such a sharp satire of current year bullshit.

As just an example, I give you, one of my favorite jokes in the game:

I probably don’t need to explain the thing this is making fun of to you, but I will anyway.

The situation presented in The Coffin of Andy and Leyley’s first episode is very easily readable as an allegory for how disasters that are a direct result of ongoing 2020s late capitalist decay continuously fuck people over. In particular, this scenario feels like a direct commentary on both the COVID-19 pandemic as well as the Flint, Michigan water crisis. The former obviously has affected way more people but what both have in common is that they are crises created and exacerbated by malfeasance and/or negligence committed in the name of for-profit interests, and that the “response,” to them, such as there was one, has amounted to dehumanizing and marginalizing the victims while minimizing the issue, forcing the victims out of society’s wider view, and being reticent to punish the individuals responsible. 

Just as the authorities responded to the water crisis and the worst excesses of the pandemic in real life, the authorities in The Coffin of Andy and Leyley impose half-measures designed to further restrict the freedom of the dirty undesirables who bear the worst damages, while merely shielding the upper echelons of society from the disaster rather than actually addressing or attempting to solve the issue. Most of you who lived through 2020 in the United States probably have experienced the frustration of being on the receiving end of this kind of policy.

During the pandemic, the quarantine was supposed to protect us, but for a lot of people it ended up doing quite the opposite. A lot of folks didn’t have any savings, and couldn’t get any since the employment market wasn’t exactly on fire, and our representatives had to be bothered way too much just to put out a pithy economic stimulus just to save face. Not to say that this all has stopped, exactly, as all that’s changed now is that we’re just, living with this situation, but.

It wasn’t literally a cop outside everyone’s door preventing them from going outside to not die, but for a lot of people, it might as well have been that! Never mind those who, y’know, had no inside to retreat to. Or were imprisoned during the pandemic and left even more unprotected! Or thrown out by their landlords! And so on. And, y’know, the big chain grocery stores keep throwing out all the perfectly good unsold food, so they’re already sending this message in all but, well… these exact words.

So, that’s why I think this joke lands. It’s exaggerated, but familiarly rooted, and that’s just good satire! It’s a joke which feels lifted right out of Invader Zim, which, I would put The Coffin of Andy and Leyley right about on the level of as far as both the tone it’s going for and the quality of its execution. Which of course, brings us to the extremes that these circumstances push its characters, and its plot, to.

Okay, so, also like Invader Zim, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is hardly a polemic, nor is it a morality tale. Sure, there’s social commentary in it, but that’s just a nice side thing. It’s not a story about the otherwise innocent victims of an unjust society who are pushed to do terrible things by circumstances outside their control— it is, rather a story of terrible people, who, both because of their character failings, and the desperate situations they find themselves in, find themselves doing even worse things.

Andrew and Ashley commit the cannibalism the first time in large part because they kind of have to do it. No food! Cop outside their door actively deterring them from getting food! Out of options! So they do it. They could probably be excused, if only they were given a fair trial. Which they realize they’re not going to get. So yeah. It’s understandable that they do it. And that they kill this one cop, who very much has it coming.

But they do not have to keep doing it! And gosh grief, do they keep fucking doing it— so many its. They really do not stop digging that hole that they are in. Even the first time that they do the cannibalism, when they kind of really have to do the cannibalism, Ashley is just a little bit more excited about doing the cannibalism than she probably should be.

I love this kind of delicious edgy dark humor. I love stories that go for it, imagine the worst possible people they can, and also try to make that funny. I love this about Invader Zim, that it presents a character who is unquestionably a monster, but also has relatable human desires like wanting to fit in and being concerned about looking weird or abnormal, but has those feelings for very different reasons and acts on them by committing some very despicable crimes. It really gets at a deep-seated darkness that I and a lot of other fucked up traumatized queer people who were little kids when this show aired have, the catharsis of visualizing some of our worst intrusive thoughts while evoking the emotions that pushed us to imagine this kind of fucked up shit.

I’ve loved this kind of thing since we saw Heathers when we were 14. Heathers is an absolutely incredible film that you should check out, by the way, and about which we failed to properly or interestingly articulate our thoughts a few years back. Its lead protagonists, Jason “J.D.” Dean and Veronica Sawyer, are similarly relatable characters who have familiar feeling flaws and emotionally resonant trauma hangups, and also function as very toxic enablers of each other’s worst traits, leading them to work through those feelings by, y’know, murdering their classmates!

Heathers made us realize just how exactly mentally ill of a 14 year old we really were when we were 14, and I love it for that. So. So fucking much.

That was ten years and change ago.

We are still a mentally ill 24 year old.

And Andrew and Ashley Graves, if I had to sum them up, are basically J.D. and Veronica, if they were in their twenties, siblings, and also way, way, way worse.

And I love them.

So, obviously. Ashley and Andrew are hilarious. At least, I find them to be such. They’re terrible, and awful, and amazing, and Ashley is such a girlboss. She is one of the most God Forbid Women Do Anything characters ever.

Anyway! I’ve talked about the cannibalism, and the dystopia, and the characters, and why all of that’s good. I’ve also forgotten to talk about the part where they evade an assassin, and, also a host of other things.

I love that this game has so many fun little optional interactions with NPCs, objects, and items, that you can totally miss. I love how the narration hints at the solutions to puzzles by snarkily referring to things you can interact with as what their purpose is to the characters rather than what they are, this quip about the mop that you clean up a murder scene with, the interactions that Andrew has with these cultists who suck at demon summoning, the excellent in-game art and the brilliant visual duality of Andrew and Ashley’s character designs, this line where Andrew is upset that life is so hard for them as fugitives from the law because they can only find this one shitty motel that takes cash and doesn’t ask them for their ID, and also the music, which is royalty free music made by people unassociated with the developer but is nonetheless perfectly suited for the game.

So much about this game is stuff I find so completely brilliant, and I have so little to criticize, that I think we’d probably be here all day if I kept going. So.

Let’s spend a thousand ish more words talking about the parents.

When The Coffin of Andy and Leyley begins, the protagonists’ parents are absent. You can optionally find two early references to them early on— one, if you interact with the bed in their bedroom, and encounter the shocking revelation that “Your parents have FUCKED on this bed.”

The second, is if you interact with the phone, the game dutifully informs you that,

You’re probably less than five minutes into the game at this point, barely begun solving the first puzzle, which prompted you to “find nutrients to not die.” And of course, this says about all you need to know. These children have been abandoned. But if it needed to be any clearer, the game later delivers unto you a flashback to prior in the story, when Ashley desperately calls Mrs. Graves for help after they leave and go move to a hotel, and later a new house, to which the kids are of course not invited. And this specific scene, specific line, here, fucking hit me:

“And I don’t want to hear these lies about starving anymore.”

Emphasis mine.

Even as Ashley and Andrew escalate the severity of their crimes which gradually come to have less and less to do with their need to survive as the story goes on, I find it very hard to not be on their side at least a little bit, and this is easily the biggest reason why.

I have had this phone call.

Not this exact specific phone call, of course. Obviously, I’ve never been locked up in an apartment with an armed patrol outside my door whose job it was to gaslight me while ensuring that I starved to death. Obviously, my mom has never said those exact words.

But gosh grief and fuck me if it’s never felt like she has. She may as well have fucking told me that, with all the things she told me I was lying about. And who fucking knows, maybe she did say those exact words to us, and we repressed them. I don’t know. I am very not done working through all the bullshit that she gaslit us over.

*sighs, preparing to vent*

I have called our mother and had to beg her to pay for food. I have called her and had to beg to pay for our rent, while our parents were supposed to be supporting us studying abroad. I have called her and begged her to forgive me for daring to use just a few of the thirty dollars our parents used to send us to live with every month back then, to buy a drink or a movie ticket or something. I have had to concede to our parents financially holding us hostage, had to go the last week of the month on a shoestring diet while waiting for them to graciously deposit another thirty dollars into our bank account... so that we could continue eating. I used to relish February, the shortest month, for being the one part of the year in which I had to stretch out that thirty dollars the least. And once, I pleaded with our mother to pay for us to move to another apartment when the landlord suddenly kicked us out of the current one, abruptly and obligatorily switching gears from arguing with her to kissing her ass through our gritted teeth, under threat of our parents cutting off their financial support of us completely, abandoning us in a foreign country where we had no money, no job, and barely spoke the language.

And one day, after I stopped dancing to their tune, they just stopped listening, stopped even pretending to want to help. After nineteen years of escalating emotional and physical abuse and neglect, they abandoned us. And one day, after I spent months working 10 hour days every week Ubering food around for tips, sending my resume, filling applications, making calls, stopping into places to ask for work, all to no avail, for months, and desperately plugging the Patreon page of this very YouTube channel praying that some generous soul with money to burn would solve all our problems. All of this still wasn’t enough, and wasn’t going anywhere, and I’d run out of money and was short on rent on the one sublet room we could get that cost exactly three hundred dollars…

And I called her, and I asked her for help. I really didn’t want to. I wanted to hear nothing of her again. And she said to stop lying. To stop bullshitting her that I couldn’t get enough money, or find a job.

Not too long after, I swore off all contact with her, and eventually also with our father. And every time I have spoken to either of them since, I have made no secret of how I feel. Because if I get nothing out of kissing their ass, why fucking pretend.

My family is not poor. They own their house. They own, and leased out, a second house. Their house is full of fancy IKEA furniture and various other niceties, they’ve renovated the place at least twice, they live in a nice, safe neighborhood, they have an attic and a basement, they at one point paid for multiple plane tickets for us per year while still refusing to let us eat on any more than thirty five dollars, an extra five dollars we also had to beg them for. Our dad has a lucrative tech job. All of this, and they insisted, while refusing to answer questions about their finances in any detail, that they couldn’t afford to help us go to where we wanted to go for college, that they had no place for us in their house, that they couldn’t afford three hundred dollars of rent to help us have a roof over our head for one more month.

So when I read this delightful jaunt of a chapter of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, where Andrew and Ashley break into their parents’ new huge house to steal all their shit, and Ashley says “This is some rich people stuff!” about their fireplace,

And when their mom says, “there’s no room to keep housing you here indefinitely,” and the internal monologue says, “even though it’s way bigger than the old house.” It’s both an entertaining mockery of the attitude of the typical American family, how first you’re your parents’ property for eighteen years and then you’re turned out on your own to face the world without their support, and how the fuck are you supposed to live like that, to figure out how to live your life in the face of that, to meaningfully be a fulfilled person in that situation, especially in a time, when, no, mom, I can’t pay a college tuition on a waitress salary like you did back in the fucking nineties, you c--t,

Even though they have an extra bed in their basement and a perfectly good couch and plenty of space for another bed besides, and a vegetable garden, and a kitchen, and all these other middle-class petty bougie niceties, the Graves mom says, “sorry, we can’t keep helping you,” and. And. I read all this, and I think,

“I understand why Ashley wants to fucking flay these people. I understand why she wants to K1!L them.”

I cannot tell you how much catharsis the ending of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley episode 2 gave me. I cannot convey the weight of my gratitude that someone out there validated my anger and my specific fucked up power fantasy with their art. I didn’t even ask them to. I probably would’ve eventually done it on my own. But I’m so glad that someone did it for me.

If I ever hypothetically meet Nemlei, somehow, and have some cash, I will happily buy them a drink. Hopefully, by paying this excellent game’s ten dollar cover price, I already have!

I know you’re not watching this, but on the off chance this reaches your ears, I just wanna say thanks. For giving me a safe, legal, regret-free, socially acceptable, non-violent outlet for the rage I feel towards my parents.

Well.

Mostly socially acceptable.

Meow.

This game is not finished, as you may have noticed if you’ve gone to check it out on Steam. It ends on an ambiguous and open note, but in my opinion, a perfectly satisfying one. Nemlei could disappear absolutely, never release the proper ending of this game, and never make another game again, and I would not be mad. I've already got more than my money’s worth and then some. So. Yeah. I’m happy. Count me as happy!

I kinda wanna start talking a bit more about the branches of the second episode. I wanna say how it’s a brilliant idea to have two separate story arcs for the two variations of this episode’s ending, and how I hope that that’s executed on as beautifully as the rest of the game already is. I wanna talk about the ways in which Andrew and Ashley’s mom is ambiguously humanized despite being so obviously terrible. I wanna talk about the dialogue Andrew does when his parents offer him a chance to make amends, and he has doubts, if you choose to let him have them, and how I would probably also have doubts in his position, and not be able to follow through without my lovely evil cannibal sister pushing me towards… the thing. I wanna talk about this line, where Ashley talks about why she likes eating people, and how it’s so equal parts poetic and macabre and edgy bullshit and that that’s such a beautifully balanced cocktail of emotion to nail and Nemlei totally fucking nails it

I WANT TO GUSH FOREVER. ABOUT THIS GAME. AND I WANT NO ONE TO STOP ME.

Alas, I will stop myself.

And move on to the elephant in the room!

THE FUCKING.

Mom: “But that-.... That doesn’t make any sense.” Mom: “Why would you not-......” Mom: “Ah, I get it.” Andrew: “..........??” Mom: “You fuck her.” Andrew: “Wha— HUUUUH?!?!!?” Mom: “Oh that is disgusting! Andrew, she’s your sister for god’s sake!” Andrew: “I haven’t done anything!? What the hell, mom!?” Mom: “Then what does she give you that makes it worth all this?” Andrew: “W-well that’s none of your business, is it??” Mom: “I knew something was off… How did I fuck up so bad? I’m the worst mother ever..!” Andrew: “No! I mean yes you are, but I have never—!” Ashley: “I’m baaaa-ack!!!” Andrew: “Now of all times!?” Ashley: “I got the money! Did you miss me, handsome?? Did you? Did you??” Mom: “...........................” Andrew: “(I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!)”

Okay. So. I said I didn’t want to talk about this. But I’m talking about this game. I can’t not talk about it.

Yep, it’s hot takes and drama time!

So, not too long ago, Nemlei deleted their Twitter, their Itch.io, their everything, their entire online presence. The Steam page for The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, which used to list Nemlei as the developer and publisher, now lists “Kit9 Studio.” It is the only game to their name on the platform. A community forum post from said entity known as Kit9 announces that “the developer” (no name given) “has decided to permanently and completely terminate their activities online from here on.”

I don’t know exactly what happened, or why they did this. There’s a lot of people around who sure think they know. But in brief, as neutrally as possible: Nemlei, or someone close to them, was doxxed, or at least sought out as a doxxing target, by one or multiple users of an online forum. Their supposed crime? Making a video game “for degenerates.”

I don’t know who did the doxxing. I don’t know what their motive was, and for my own sanity, I am not going to look. I am choosing not to care. The most important and most obvious fact at hand here is that Nemlei’s creation has been met with controversy amongst social media users, and about one or two hack video game outrage journalists, who seem to have nothing better to do or say. And it seems clear that the doxxing wouldn’t have happened had they not been met with this negative attention. And all because of this.

Not the cannibalism, not the parricide, not the demon sacrifices. No, um, the one implied sex scene.

And it doesn’t even actually happen! It’s just a premonition of a possible future event that Ashley and Andrew supernaturally receive. It’s not particularly graphic, it doesn’t yet go anywhere, and it’s a short scene on an optional route that the game actively forewarns you about. You have to be trying to see it on purpose.

Well, that’s all true. It is indeed a minor and avoidable scene, and the discourse about it has absolutely poisoned the well when it comes to the conversation about the game. But also, “uhh, it’s optional and not a big thing,” is inadequate as a defense. This is still content in the game that Nemlei actively chose to put in the game, and even discounting this, the themes of incest are all over the game. Ashley speaks flirtatiously to Andrew at basically every turn. Even if you avoid this specific scene, the incest themes are not something you’re going to just not notice, if you’re paying attention to the text.

All that being said, it’s not like this content comes as a surprise. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley’s Steam store page accurately represents the product! A brother and sister. Codependency and cannibalism. It’s not as if you don’t know what you’re paying for and choosing to play. You came here for this! Most of the people playing this are here for this! You have to figure that if they are fine with killing and eating people, they’re probably fine with fucking each other, or, eventually possibly eventually going to be, at least.

So you’d think, except that many people seem to unironically believe that the cannibalism is more moral than the incest.

Oh, god, I’m doing this right now, aren’t I.

So, I get it. While I’m pretty skeptical of the notion that cannibalism is not as bad as incest, I do realize that incest is, at the very least, the more taboo of these things, and that a lot of people are more uncomfortable with it than they are with the cannibalism and the murder. To quote the one positive and in-depth review available in any media outlet at the time of this writing, from Destructoid:

“This aspect is undoubtedly the most controversial element about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, and I understand why. While cannibalism is a taboo subject, it’s present in mainstream games like Fallout as an option for players. Having incestuous themes crosses over into Drakengard territory, and even then, no option allows Caim to reciprocate Furiae’s feelings for him.”

"The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is horrifying and I can’t get enough of it" Andrea Gonzalez, Destructoid, November 12 2023

So, yeah, I. y’know. Get it. I know why. However.

I can point to a lot of things that Andrew and Ashley do wrong in this game. They are, as per the game’s premise, very not okay, not as individuals, and not together. Andrew is way too attached to Ashley, and Ashley is generally an awful person who is way too attached herself, and also, all too quick on the draw to take advantage of Andrew’s attachment to her to make him do what she wants. This is not a healthy relationship. And we’re here for it! It’s compelling!

But, I think it’s worth asking why it’s such a toxic dynamic. Is it because they’re siblings? Well, not really. It’s a dynamic that’s specifically possible with them being siblings, but it’s not because of their sibling connection.

The actual reason why Andrew and Ashley’s relationship turns abusive isn’t because their relationship is abusive by necessity or nature, but because Ashley abuses their relationship. And she is doing this for basically the whole game. Like, it is abusive the whole time. It doesn’t become abusive when their relationship takes its romantic turn. Does it become more abusive? I mean. Maybe. Maybe the romance exacerbates the abuse. I dunno, we’ll have to wait and see what the next episode says.

So, then, why is the notion of them possibly in the future having sex the elephant in the room here, when before that, they do so many objectively worse things that cause much more harm both to themselves and others? Is that really so much more of a bigger deal than the murder and the people eating?

Or. To phrase it Ashley’s way. You played a game about mutilating and eating your parents’ corpses, and getting laid is what you’re freaking out about?

Is the incest really that much more extreme, or are you just more disgusted with it?

And even if you are more disgusted with it. Even if we grant that it is, actually, somehow, more harmful for siblings to have sex with each other, than to do murder and cannibalism. Is this the hill you’re dying on? What you’ve decided is of such utmost importance and injustice that you decide to go harass some random indie dev who just wants to make a silly video game about a couple of siblings eating people?

Does it truly make sense to let your kneejerk moral disgust guide you to the conclusion that the creator of this game deserves to be persecuted for merely writing about and drawing a thing you don’t like?

Well, to answer that, we have to get into the question of whether or not “immoral fiction” is harmful, or “normalizing” things that are wrong. Does fictionally depicting an immoral action actually cause harm?

I could dance around in circles for a little while about the edge cases, and certain writers who are publishing bad or hateful material in bad faith, or fascist propaganda, which is of course always bad, or whatever other example I could use to qualify my point or list out an exception to appease the people who disagree with me, but, I’ll just cut right to the chase, and tell you the answer

No!

The answer is NO!

The thing about taboos is that they don’t make us more safe. They don’t protect us from bad things. All they do is protect people’s comfort by silencing people they don’t want to understand, and enable bad actors by keeping their victims in the dark, and denying them the ability to talk about it.

The only thing we end up doing by censoring stories about these uncomfortable topics, and making it socially unacceptable to talk about them, is make it harder to know. We deny ourselves knowledge. We deny ourselves a conversation about these subjects, we deny ourselves the ability to meaningfully understand them. We deny ourselves power, what little we have, as readers, to understand, and to critique, to reason.

There’s a tumblr post I really like. Well, a number of them, I really like, on this topic, but I’m picking this one, because it’s got a quote I really like. It talks about Lolita. That Lolita. And, now, I’ve never read Lolita, at least not yet. Lolita is a novel about child sexual abuse, told from the perspective of an abuser. It’s an uncomfortable book with an uncomfortable topic, and it’s not wrong to be uncomfortable with it. The author of this post acknowledges that.

But they talk about it. They talk about how it shines a light on its subject matter. The why and the how of abusers and their actions. The ways in which their victims suffer. How it shows all of this in a way that it only could from the perspective it takes. And, I’m just going to quote them. I can’t do anything else. They said it better than I could, right now.

“Embrace disgusting fiction and then fucking talk about why it’s nasty. Now YOU have the power over reality.” - tumblr user legsdemandias

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has been ridiculed, joked about, hot taked on, made a target, drama-ed over, and so on, but it’s hardly been criticized. No one I’ve seen admitting to not liking it talks critically about why it’s disgusting to them, or tries to understand why it exists, or what it’s for. And this is most people’s reaction to most media that deals seriously with anything taboo. “I don’t get it. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t exist. Get it away from me.”

I’m annoyed that the medium, the art form, of video games, is valued so little by so many that this is the wide reaction when something like this gets popular. That the mainstream games journalism media ridicules it, and the creator gets threatened by an internet mob, and it falls on the weirdos and the freaks and the no-name YouTube uwu girls, to give it the serious consideration and recognition it deserves.

To summarize, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is, in my opinion, a very good video game, and on its behalf, I am mad at video games.

Now, go on. You made it through this video. I told you the plot! You can probably stomach the plot! So go, go. Shoo. Go buy Nemlei a drink. If you want to.

Or, buy us, the joystick system, a drink! You can do that at patreon dot com slash joycestick, or, ko-fi dot com slash joycestick. You can buy us drinks in both of those places.

I’ve been Audrey. Thank you for listening.

Thank you to our Patreon supporters:

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[plural-affirmations]

Can I recommend apps for systems? If yes, you can post it, if not, you don't need to post it.

Guys, there's an app that someone I know recommended to me that is great for systems, the name of the app is Fortelling, it's an app for making stories but it's great for systems ✨ Well, talking a little about Fortelling

Negative points:

1. It's a bit complex to organize and share later. It's not difficult, but you need to create new designs for new “privacy modes”.

2. you can't add fronts simply in the plural (but you can use the timeline and it helps).

3. There is no chat (only with system members), simply in the plural.

4. nobody uses it.

Positive points:

First, more tools, so you can describe species, languages, headspace, etc.

2. if you like interactions, do collaborative chat.

2. You can organize more information.

3. You can share more things.

4. has a gallery (for whatever tool you use)

5. It has an overview tool.

6. there are "links" between items (items within tools, like... in the character tools, there is the item "So-and-so", and in the links there is "Robson" in the species tool)

8. more just

"but I want to share my system, can I do that?" Yes!! It's not as easy as Simply Plural (when you want private, public, and friends information), but you can create a new project with just public information (i.e. only the information you want to show). the downside is having to redo all the headmates and information you want, you enter "collaboration" and use the link to share with your friends! You need to accept them first. DON’T FORGET TO CHARGE “EDITOR” FOR “READER” WHEN YOU ACCEPT SOMEONE!!

Thank you for submitting this review, I hope it helps someone out there!

🖤💜💙💚💛

[dewdrop-collective]

Looking for folks to help write a project on plurality!

Hello, Phil here. Me and a few other headmates have recently started a project where we write on plurality experiences and terms. We're in need of people to help us in the project, so send us a message or comment if you're interested in:

Providing your own experiences with plurality

Sharing information on plurality terms (including definitions, nuances, origins of terms, etc.)

Proof-reading and peer-reviewing writing

Coming up with designs or graphics for the project

We would appraciate any and all help. We are setting up a Discord server for this project, so if you DM us we can send you an invite. You may also join if you have any questions about plurality or want to suggest sections we should include. Thank you to anyone who reaches out!

-⚠️

[ellipse-society]

Honestly seeing pro-endos talk negatively about other pro-endos has been triggering for us since we first saw it happen. Our main form of childhood trauma was betrayal based so this type of behavior hits way too close to home. This has been building for so long that we feel like we are about to explode. We can't do our job effectively anymore because we are holding back tears every second of the day(crying being our go-to trauma response). We honestly felt safer around anti-endos because at least then we knew who we couldn't trust. We have long since hidden our likes and followers because we are terrified that one pro-endo we follow or like will have beef with another one and we will be caught in the cross fire. If you are a pro-endo that posts regularly in syscourse assume we have taken issue with something you have said at some point. This community is just so toxic no matter how good the intentions are. We shouldn't have to live in fear of people who are supposed to be on the same side as us 24/7.

If you haven't noticed we have officially stopped identifying as pro-endo. We believe endos exist we just don't want to identify with the pro-endo community. Being a part of this community has only made us hate ourselves which was not something that happened when we were a closeted endo supporter around anti-endos. And no not all pro-endos are acting in a way that is triggering for us but enough are that we want to distance ourselves.

We sincerely apologize for how we have been acting recently. We are fully aware we took things too far.

We have put extra rules in place now for our posting to hold ourselves accountable and that will hopefully help us avoid this in the future. We don't plan to stop posting at this point we are just restricting who can post and how many headmates have to review something before we post it.

[splattergai]

Hello! We'd like to make a request for a headmate template!

There's a species one of our headmates remembers from their timeline - it's called a starsinger, and it's an alien whose consciousness originates in outer space but is drawn towards planets that have music on them and takes a form based on a song. We'd like one of "Moonlight Drive" by the Doors! (Although if you know any other songs by the Doors, please feel free to incorporate inspirations from those too! As well as any knowledge or vibes you have about psychedelic rock.)

I imagine them as having had a timeline where they came to Earth (specifically California) in 1968 (the year after the song came out) and got involved with music, either playing in bands and/or as a music reviewer/journalist. We would also like if they'd had period-typical addictions but recovered from them and now has a system role that has to do with managing addiction recovery, since that applies to us in this life.

They'd be an age slider whose youngest age is 21 (the age that starsingers are when they take form on Earth) and whose oldest age is the age someone who was young in the 60s/70s would be now. Other roles we'd like them to have include interest holder (for classic rock/music in general - they like older music the best but want to learn about all music) and socializer (or at least have them be pretty social; we go to concerts and karaoke a lot and I think an alter like this would enjoy that).

Feel free to give them non-binary genders/neopronouns, interests/aesthetics that fit the time period, and some connection to space (including the moon, I'm sure they loved seeing the moon landing). For orientation, we'd like them to be asexual and not romantically interested in binary women, ideally some kind of aro-spec. Also objectum for musical instruments and/or music itself!

Thank you for your time!

Name(s): Apollo, Ranger

Age: Age Slider (21-55)

Species: Starsinger

Kin(s): Musickin (general)

Pronouns: they/them, ne/nymph, rock/rocks, stone/stones, dream/dreams, moon/moons, luna/lunas, star/stars

Gender(s): Bassguitagender, endversic, moonguardilyrical

Orientation: Asexual polyromantic aliquaromantic, soundrum, music box objectum, guitarum

Other: Harmonic Attraction, electric guitar soundstelic

Role(s): Interest Holder, Musicnaut, Addiction Manager

Likes: looking at NASA photos, stargazing, concerts, singing, karaoke, space

Dislikes: Complete silence (the kind where absolutely no noise is going on, including ambient noise)

Sign-Off: 🌓🎸

Description: Often will attend social music related events such as karaoke, open mic nights, and concerts and engage with the people there. Really enjoys talking to other people about their music tastes and learning about the history behind each genre. Has a very diverse music taste, but prefers classic rock and stuff from their time period. Their style often includes dark blues and purples, sometimes also using brighter colors as accessories in order to intimidate space. They're very kind and understanding to others. Uses their experience from their addiction recovery experience to help the rest of the system manage current addiction recovery. Rants to others regarding facts about space, and keeps up with astronomy news.

[lovedtogekiss]

pronouns dot page / carrd

^ my kin and headmate lists are here

pfq

auagahhhh tags guide

dreamstag : dreamcore/"liminal"/other surreal types of images, mainly there for filtering rather than searching.

[character]posting : kinnie/headmate tags. i have a lot of kins and thus a lot of tags so i wont list each one. most important one is #addiposting, which i use so often that its the first tag tumblr suggests to me

is this anything : original jokes that i made myself with my own two hands

gender envy tag : i cant describe my gender in words so heres a collection of tumblr posts that fit

life skills tag : shit that might be helpful to know for life and shit

art skills tag : drawing advice. early tag is full of references that i need to filter out

ref tag : art references

bookmark tag : things i want to see later

SUPER bookmark tag : things i want to see later that i dont want to get lost in the bookmark tag

sfsh tag : i am KISSING these characters !!!!

> shaplin tag : a derivative of #sfsh tag that i created before i had that one. pictures of shaplin deltarune my beloved cringefail

> spamton tag : same as #shaplin tag but for spamton

[fandom] tag : fandom-specific tags. currently used for rhythm heaven (rh tag), kingdom hearts (kh tag), parappa the rapper (parappa tag), pikmin (pikmin tag), sky: children of the light (sky tag), subnautica (subnautica tag), flight rising (fr tag), no straight roads (nsr tag), and the ultraman series (ultraman tag)

something something predatory wasp of the palisades : tag for things that make me think "oh humanity is good after all"

[tumblr] tag : tumblr poetry

gordon, i feel normal : 😳

robot fuckery : deprecated. legacy tag for obj posts, now replaced by @cybersexisholy . i need to go back and clear this one out

for the adgroup : posts targeted towarda viddy and cakesy

posts about charaty : targeted things towards my girlfriend

mecore : posts that make up a key part of my worldview, whether theyve influenced it or just put it into words. used to be something else but i forgot what it was and tumblr recently stopped suggesting old tags to me again.

the cube, the angel of aperture (chell) : very cool, very important-looking pictures of chell portalgun.

the artist, the visionary, the prophet (dr rattmann) : very cool, very important looking pictures of dr rattmann

the fool, the hanged man (wheatley) : very cool, very important looking pictures of wheatley

the right man in the wrong place (dr freeman) : very cool, very important-looking pictures of gordon freeman

beloved - tag for harry du bois. yeah that guy

me abt pao : things relevant to my experience writing pinkaddiofficial that i didn't feel like reblogging to it

doing that thing i do : peer-reviewed tags

friendlyfriends : my fend s :)

more will be added as i remember them

[the-harvest-system]

Should we post more

I mean! Hermitcraft and Empires smp and Life Series etc. content

We are absolutely NOT normal about them and also want to post more about our sources (all of our fictives are mcyt sourced. ALL OF THEM)

Also, just a warning of what to expect:

• ramblings about source

• art (of ourselves, may count as fanart to though)

• incoherent screaming about block men

• staring hopefully but fearfully at any plural block man enthusiast that will interact with us

• technically a cosplay but will actually be a fictive dressed as themselves pretending to cosplay

ALSO! OFF TOPIC!! BUT!! We ordered a book that's very, very, system coded and we'll be doing a review and maybe redesign since all the headmates in the book look very similar. Expect review in 1-3 days, we're working with the whims of the postal service so no idea when it'll be delivered 👍

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello, host of the system that sent that first ask about not being sure about how normal is it to find out you're plural in your early 20s, joined by 3 alters; we've come to seek some advice/positivity/comfort/kindness in times of great stress. we recently came out to a friend who also is a system, but things didn't go well at all and they have cut us all off, not without being furious, unwelcoming and in disbelief beforehand. not going into details about the things that were said (and some of their anger was justified, for we didn't make ourselves known sooner out of fear of, unsurprisingly, this kind of outcome) but it has affected us greatly; i (the host) have been not entirely lucid and our co-host (the eldest alter and the only one who can understand the elusive trauma holder in our system) is nowhere to be seen; they have never been absent like this before, and we're afraid that the rage/disgust that was directed towards us has made them go dormant, because last time someone in our system went dormant (long before i was aware of these guys), they came out with no recollection of their first time here; only their exomemories remained. we're hurting badly, and scared that there is no place for us in the world, that the suffering/trauma i as a host have been through is not enough and that we're not safe at all for they could very well find this ask (although it's highly unlikely because they have gripes with plural spaces).

we apologize if it got wordy, we just want to feel safe after all this.

-🌙 (reviewed by 🐻, 🌀 and ❄)

hey, gosh, we are so incredibly sorry y’all had to go through something like this. it seems like y’all have a lot on your plate right now, and being rejected and cut off by a friend (and fellow system, no less!) must be incredibly painful. we truly are so sorry y’all are having to go through something like this.

we’d like to share with y’all a post we made fairly recently on dormancy, with a focus on coping with the temporary loss of a headmate.

your co-host likely will not be gone forever, but it makes sense to feel lost, confused, and hurt by their absence. we hope that y’all can try to have patience, grieve in whatever ways make you feel most comfortable, and try to just sit with your emotions for a while. it’s okay to feel sad. it’s okay to feel angry. there are no wrong emotions, and it makes sense to feel hurt and overwhelmed when a headmate goes dormant like this.

about your friend…

please know that you did nothing wrong by trying to come out to your friend about your system. in addition, you keeping your system from them for so long does not in any way justify their response to their anger. it can be incredibly dangerous and terrifying revealing your system to someone else, and that is private information that you do not owe anyone. as a system themself, they should understand this. but even if they don’t, that doesn’t make it less true. it is okay to keep your system a secret for as long as you need to in order to keep your system safe and comfortable. again, you do not owe anyone this information about yourself. your friend becoming angry due to you keeping your system hidden from them is fine - there are no bad emotions and we can’t control what feelings we have in the moment. what is not justifiable at all, in our opinion, was how they reacted by cutting y’all off and directing their rage and disgust towards y’all. in fact, choosing to react in that way to us seems hateful and unkind, and they obviously have some work they need to do in order to become a better person/system.

about your feelings regarding your trauma and place in this world…

please know that you belong in this world and in the plural community as you are - no changes necessary. you are so loved, and you absolutely belong here, no doubt about it. not everyone is going to be willing to accept you or your system for who y’all are, and ultimately, that’s on them for being closed-minded and unwilling to listen and understand. we truly hope that soon you will find your people, that soon you will find yourself surrounded by folks who love each and every member of your system and are happy to accept y’all for who y’all are. we mean this with every ounce of our strength.

many traumatized individuals worry that their trauma “wasn’t bad enough” or that “someone else has had it worse.” in disorders like did and osdd, the important factor that causes these disorders to form is repeated trauma in childhood that causes the child to dissociate regularly as a result. that’s it. there’s no set of traumas that are “bad enough” for these disorders to form. if a child regularly has to dissociate to cope, if they’re not receiving adequate support from a caregiver, if they’re having to rely on themselves for emotional processing… chances are, they may end up with a dissociative disorder. even something as minor as being given a brief time out can cause a child to dissociate if they’re already prone to dissociation and cannot reliably rely on their caregivers for support. so, please trust us when we say, yes, your trauma was enough. it was enough, and you never, ever should have had to suffer the way you did. even if you think it was minor… we don’t agree. no child should be traumatized. for a child with little to no support, there is no such thing as “minor trauma.” every trauma may seem huge and have a major impact on their lives, especially if they have to deal with the aftermath alone.

anon, we are wishing your whole system peace, rest, recovery, and self acceptance. please know that you’re not alone, and you are loved just the way you are. we will never doubt your system here, and you will always be welcome here on our blog and in the plural community as a whole. in fact, the plural community is made brighter and more vibrant due to your presence in it. your friend is really missing out by choosing to let go of your friendship due to your choice to be honest and vulnerable.

we hope this helps, even if it’s just a little bit. we’re sorry this got so long-winded. please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if there’s anything we can do to help y’all in the future. please take care of each other - we really are wishing y’all the best!

🐢 kip and 💫 parker

[the-bar-sinister]

19 and 38 for the writing ask game

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

As a system, I'd say that we act as each other's muses! It was actually the first term we used for one another before headmates, back from the old rp community in 2002ish.

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

We have one fic (Ragpickers and Urchins) that we're super proud of and invested in that is about characters and an area of canon that basically nobody else cares about (the Donquixote pirates). But there's one commenter who goes out of their way to leave like, 2 or 3 paragraph in-depth comments on every chapter we've posed and seeing it absolutely makes our day every time. The person who "gets it" is better than a dozen comments <3

Thank you so much for the questions! <3

ask game link

[slowsinkingstars]

we're finally past the weeks of syllabus and introductory lessons. we have projects and exams due next week and for the whole rest of the semester already, really, all scheduled with test dates and deadlines already. more or less. the upperclassmen suggest that some professors are more lenient, but, i do not think we should rely on hearsay.

the plan for tomorrow is to review and prepare for the next week's discussions but also assessments, of course. i need to write the agendas for our group meetings. there are also the events for our organizations; i need to check those too. i also want to allot time for my headmates to tend to their respective hobbies outsys.