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hlvrfreakyfriday · 1 year ago

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HLVRFF: Chapter 9

Okay. So.

The whole 'clear head with fresh air for easier thinking' thing is completely backfiring on Benry. Instead of clearing his head, it’s just gotten full of even MORE thoughts he’d really rather not be thinking.

Mostly ones about that last week at Black Mesa.

Thinking more about how scared Gordon was the whole time, and how oblivious Benry himself was to Gordon’s very justified fear. Thinking about how he just kept making shit more stressful for the guy, like how he’d purposefully get in the way of progress, and not help out during fights, and making jokes about his missing hand... that he’d caused Gordon to lose in the first place… acting like he was going to straight-up kill the Science Team…

He also thinks not just about how scared Gordon was, but how angry Gordon was, at him. All the times he’d shoot Benry in the face, and slug him with the devil gun so hard he went flying, and how he’d be near constantly telling him how much he hated him and wanted him dead. How much he wished he could kill Benry himself. How elated he looked when Benry got sucked into that funky portal as he died on Xen…

Benrey feels like he’s going to be sick.

Or, at least, he thinks that’s what this feeling is. He never felt sick in his own body, but he knows it’s not a good feeling, and this one he’s got now is absolutely awful. Benry stops walking, and yanks his beanie down over his borrowed eyes, knocking Gordon’s glasses a bit askew, as he lets out a low-pitched whine. He tries to reason with himself, that’s all in the past now, Gordon doesn’t say or act like he hates you anymore, and you’re even roommates with him now.

Unfortunately, Benry’s brain is in full-on self-loathing mode, and immediately counters with it’s in the past but it left lasting damage- he still has nightmares about you. Just because he doesn’t show it as much doesn’t mean he’s still not harboring hate for you- he hid his fear of you all this time. You’re only living with him because Tommy asked him to let you, and he just happens to like Tommy more than he hates or fears you- Tommy saved his life when you only threatened it.

Even when you’re not actively trying to, you’re still giving Gordon nothing but grief by simply existing in his life.

.....

Benry pulls the beanie back up off his eyes, and just stares at the sidewalk.

Maybe... maybe he should ask Tommy’s dad about getting... different living arrangements, once he’s back and has fixed the body switch. Part of him is telling him he should probably discuss this with Gordon too, but... he’s scared of Gordon being all 'oh thank GOD, finally’ over hearing Benry’s considering moving out. Not like he wouldn’t deserve that, though.

There’s also the possibility of Gordon expressing guilt over making Benry feel he has to leave, ‘cause Gordon’s the Big Hero Man, and caring too much is what he does, even when he shouldn’t be the one feeling guilty, since Benry’s the one giving him fucking death nightmares and- guh...

Wrapped up in these thoughts as Benry is, he completely fails to notice there’s a man approaching him, until the guy barks out a gruff ‘hey' at him.

Readjusting the glasses on his face, he turns to the man before speaking. “uh… can i help you, sir?”

“Dr. Freeman,” the man addresses Benry with a frown.

Oh fuck someone who knows Gordon that Benry’s never met. Uhhhh shit. What the hell does he even do. Benry supposes he could just play dumb; say he isn’t Gordon, that this guy’s got the wrong dude. But then again, whoever this is seems to already be in a real bad mood…

“uhhh yep, the One Free Man, that’s me- GH-!” Benry replies, and is cut off when the scowly guy grabs him by his shirt.

“You miserable piece of shit,” he snarls in Benry’s borrowed face. “You should be dead right now, you know that? How is it that my entire fucking squad is gone, but some fucking out-of-shape egghead like you is still walking!?”

Ohhhh fuck, this is one of those bootboys from Black Mesa, that were sent in to… kill everybody for some reason? Benry never understood why. ‘Mesa being overly worried about ex-employees spilling their secrets, but also being cheap bastards and wanting to avoid paying hush money for their silence, he guesses. Yeah, that sounds about right.

But, hold up, didn’t they kill all the soldiers that were sent after them? He’s pretty sure Coomer said as much. So then who is…

Wait.

Aw fuck.

“forzen?” Benry says dumbly. Which was apparently a mistake, as that just makes the guy angrier.

“MY NAME,” he shouts at close range, causing Benry to wince, “IS TRAVIS. TRAVIS ESLA.”

Esla? Oh, ha ha, he almost forgot. That’s how he came up with the name ‘Forzen’ for this guy. Esla. Elsa. Frozen. Forzen. Man, he is so fucking clever.

Travis (formerly known as Forzen) doesn’t seem to agree. “That security bastard friend of yours got into my head and yanked me around like a god damn puppet!” he yells again as he swings Benry around and slams his borrowed back against a nearby wall. Benry groans in pain when Gordon’s already bad spine hits the bricks with such force. “But he’s not here now, is he? And you don’t have any weapons or that hazard armor, either,” Travis continues, a dangerous tone entering his voice. “I think it’s about time I finished my mission.”

Travis reaches for his back pocket, and when Benry sees the man pull out a rather sizable knife, his borrowed heart nearly stops.

This guy intends on killing him. Which, in any other situation, would be like, whatever. But in Gordon’s body, things are 200% more serious. If Gordon’s body is too damaged, Gordon won’t be able to get back in it. And… while normally having his physical body destroyed doesn’t truly kill Benry… considering that he can’t use any of his usual powers, it’s very possible that his connection to the cosmic void and its boundless energy has been temporarily severed. If this body was killed, Benry might not have the juice to form his old pure energy body, and keep his consciousness together…

If Benry dies right here, right now, there’s a very real chance he’ll stay dead.

If he didn’t already have a good idea about how Gordon felt during the ResCas, he certainly does now.

Adrenalin rushing through his borrowed veins, his fight or flight kicks in, and lands on fight. Which, uh, might not be the best choice. Black Mesa never trained him in unarmed human-style combat, they just taught him how to use a gun.

So Benry just goes with what he knows.

Before Travis can get his stabbing on, Benry knees the guy in the crotch, causing the man to loosen up his hold on him. Benry then does the first thing that comes to mind and bites down hard onto Travis’ left forearm. A scream is pulled from the man as Benry's borrowed teeth sink into the limb, his mouth filling up with the metallic tang of blood. He very briefly notes that, like everything else, it doesn’t taste as good on Gordon’s tongue as on his own.

Turns out Benry overcompensated for Gordon’s comparatively duller teeth when he bit down, as when Travis yanks his arm away, a small chunk of flesh is left barely hanging on. Benry doesn’t have time to dwell on how he almost kinda-sorta made Gordon a cannibal, before he gets a punch to the gut and sweep-kick to the legs. Benry topples over, Gordon’s glasses falling from his face as his head hits the concrete, making him see stars.

Travis spits out some profanities, and maybe says something else too, but Benry doesn’t register any of it. He certainly registers the sudden kick to his ribs, though. And being rolled onto his back. And a boot being pressed to his chest. And the glint of metal from what is probably definitely that knife shining up above, roughly in line with his neck. He tries to struggle against the foot pinning him, but he’s still too dazed from hitting his head on the sidewalk so hard to get Gordon’s body to cooperate. His eyes stay locked on to the blurry image of the knife, unable to look away.

Travis raises the blade, preparing to plunge it into Benry’s borrowed neck, when someone else comes up from behind the soldier and violently yanks him off and away from Benry. The new person growls out a ‘motherfucker’ as he tosses Travis to the street, and Benry recognizes his own voice, despite it sounding a little off with Gordon’s particular angry tone behind it.

He may not currently have a direct connection to it, but it seems the cosmos is still looking out for its wayward child.

-----------------------

Benry being out of the house somewhere, alone, with no powers and in Gordon’s body, was more than a little worrying, to say the least. The rest of the Science Team seemed to agree on that, and thus wasted no time in helping out on the search for the alien.

At first, they thought they all wouldn’t need to- Sunkist can detect and track life energy signatures, and Tommy was going to have him sniff out and find Benry that way. Unfortunately, something about the switch had apparently muddled up Benry and Gordon’s signatures in such a way that the giant dog couldn’t get a bead on Benry. Sunkist was, at the very least, able to point them in the vague direction Benry went- somewhere into town. And now, they’re out looking for him the old-fashioned way. Tommy and Darnold in one car, Bubby and Coomer in their own, while Gordon himself is searching on foot.

The rest of the team had actually advised Gordon to stay home; both to meet Benry there should he come back on his own, and to avoid the risk of Gordon accidentally making a scene from Benry’s powers getting out of his control.

Gordon agreed to… initially. But he couldn’t ignore the way his borrowed guts writhed with his anxiety and worry, or the feeling of uselessness that kept nagging at him as he sat (well, paced) around the house doing nothing.

So instead, he’s moving down a random street in town, in the general direction Sunkist indicated, eyes peeled and ears tuned.

He’s honestly not really expecting to find Benry himself, as the other two search pairs are both in cars for faster ground coverage, and have been at the search for longer than Gordon. Hell, who knows? Maybe they’ve even found him already, and are trying to call Gordon to tell him. Too bad Gordon forgot his fucking phone in his haste to get out and start looking himself. Which… probably wasn’t the best move, really. Shit, what if Benry and the others already are back home? And then, upon seeing that Gordon isn’t, are now out looking for him? He could be on a wild goose chase while simultaneously putting the others on one as well.

It’d… prrrrobably be a good idea to head back home. And if they aren’t there, he can at the very least grab his phone before heading back to the search himself.

That’s what Gordon’s thinking anyway, before he hears a strangled cry from a ways ahead and around the corner, in a very familiar voice- his own. He's tearing down the sidewalk in an instant, and upon rounding the corner, he’s greeted by a very distressing sight.

Benry, borrowed mouth dripping with blood as he lays pinned to the ground by a heavy boot. The owner of said boot (with a huge bite on his left arm, explaining the entity’s bloody mouth), getting ready to shove a combat knife straight into the Benry’s throat. And by Benry’s throat, Gordon means his throat. The scene conjures up very unpleasant, very specific memories. His fingers tense, nails sharpen, and feet carry him forward without even thinking.

Benry’s attacker has his back to Gordon, and thus doesn't notice he's right behind him, until a disproportionately large clawed hand grabs him practically by his whole head.

“Motherfucker,” Gordon straight-up growls as he throws the bastard off Benry and onto the street.

With the pressure off his borrowed chest, Benry attempts to sit up, and groans in pain after he apparently did it too fast. Gordon turns his head to Benry, about to ask if he’s okay, and what the fuck he even did to tick this guy off so hard. But before he can get the question out, Benry’s attacker speaks up first.

“You...” the man with the knife says, eyes locked on Gordon. Gordon turns back to him, and sees a small look of panic behind the man’s eyes. More importantly, though, he finally recognizes who this guy is. It’s the one that got away- that soldier that tried to hold Sunkist hostage, and claimed to be former friends with Benry. Still can’t remember his fucking name. There’s something off about his voice, though. Gordon distinctly remembers him sounding much less gravely, and more... well, more like Benry, really. Which Gordon always thought was kind of weird.

That panicked look only lasted for a second, as the soldier is now looking outright pissed. “You’re that freak who was in my fucking head!” the soldier yells as he gestures his knife right at Gordon.

Gordon’s borrowed brow furrows. In his head? ...Wait- no way, he doesn’t mean...

Before that thought train can leave the station, the soldier lunges at him. Distracted by his own thoughts as he was, Gordon fails to react in time, and the soldier’s knife slices deep across his borrowed throat. Gordon gasps as dark sanguine blood sprays from the newly acquired slot in his neck.

But only for a little bit.

The flow of blood quickly comes to a stop as Benry’s body’s rapid regeneration does its thing, the slash wound knitting itself back closed right before the soldier’s eyes. They both just stand there in stunned silence before the soldier quietly breaks it with a “What the fuck?”

That manages to snap Gordon out of his state of shock, and he quickly takes advantage of the one the soldier’s in. He grabs the soldier’s right arm, and gives it a rough, sudden twist in directions the human arm is definitely not meant to go. The soldier screams, knife falling from his hand and clattering to the ground as the bones in his forearm audibly snap. Said forearm is now bent into an acute angle, and the skin around the break is torn and looks partially ��de-gloved’ thanks to all the twisting it underwent.

Now, normally, Gordon would probably regret having so badly underestimated the sheer strength Benry’s body packs. But this guy was straight-up about to fucking kill Benry (and likely thought he was killing Gordon), which ain’t really helping him in the sympathy department. Boot boy’s buddies certainly didn’t seem to regret severing Gordon’s own hand, that’s for sure...

And like, honestly. Fuck the troops, man.

Completely fucked though his arm may now be, the soldier's still standing (and screaming), so Gordon attempts to shut him up by knocking his ass to the ground with a swift kick to the stomach. The guy hits his head when he falls, and it seems to knock him out cold.

“daaaamn, you really fucked him up, huh.”

----------------------

“daaaamn, you really fucked him up, huh,” Benry speaks up behind Gordon, who turns to face him. Benry’s still sitting down on the sidewalk, but his head’s feeling better, and he found the fallen glasses and put them back on his… still very bloody borrowed face. Which Gordon is staring at, with much concern.

“Benry! You good? Nothing broken?” Gordon finally gets to ask. Benry just gives him a quick nod and a thumbs up as he starts trying to wipe the blood off his mouth, now that he’s remembered that it’s there. He’s expecting ‘why did you sneak out?’ to be Gordon’s next question, but the man instead hits him with something entirely different.

“Hey... what did that soldier mean just now, when he said you were ‘in is head?’” Gordon asks. Benry freezes up at that, casts a guilty look at Gordon, and then looks away. Fuck. Shit. He really, really should’ve told Gordon about this earlier, during a much less sensitive time...

“so, uh. remember hoooowwwww that guy said me and him were friends?” he starts. Gordon nods. Benry continues. “yeah well. we weren’t. didn’t even know the guy. i uh. mindjacked him? just grabbed a random boot boy and pretended to be one. thought it’d be funny. even got sunkist to play along when he showed up lookin’ for tommy,” he says, wincing at that last bit. “we, uh, we both apologized to tommy after, since he got so upset… buuuut i guess i forgot to tell you, huh…” Benry goes quiet, still not looking at Gordon. He’s not sure what expression the other man’s aiming right at him, but he really doesn’t wanna see it.

What he also doesn't see is Travis, clutching the knife in his left hand, coming up behind an oblivious Gordon.

Somebody else sees this, though.

“SURPRISE ATTACK, GORDON!” Coomer bellows just as his fist connects with Travis’ face, sending him sprawling to the ground for the umpteenth time this evening, and finally down for the count.

Gordon whips around at the sound and Benry looks up, both seeing not just Coomer, but Bubby as well, standing by his souped up custom cadillac. How the hell they didn’t hear that noisy piece of work drive up is anybody’s guess. “Dr. Coomer, Bubby!” Gordon calls to them.

“Yeesh, good thing you weren’t that unobservant in Black Mesa, otherwise you never would’ve made it out of there,” Bubby remarks. Gordon says something in response, but Benry’s already checked out of that conversation, still hung up on the disappointment he could feel radiating off of Gordon just a bit ago. Coomer briefly grabs his attention, offering Benry a hand up off the ground and asking him if he’s okay. Benry just shrugs. They all pile into Bubby’s caddy, give Tommy and Darnold a buzz to tell them Benry’s been found, and then it’s an uncharacteristically quiet drive back to Gordon’s place.

Benry’s not sure if he appreciates or hates the silence the whole trip back, but he is sure of one thing.

He should definitely go away once this body mix-up is all over.

#half life vr but it's freaky friday #fic repost

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waitineedaname · 2 years ago

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number 3 with gman I don't know why it's his forcing itself into my brain he Needs to like big plushies. idc who's pointing it out but I need you to understand my vision...

holy shit your mind. incredible. I don't write G-Man very often, hope this was okay!

prompts from here

“You say ‘childish’ like it’s a bad thing.”

“That, is not what I am saying. I am… simply commenting on the fact that you act surprisingly, hm. Youthful for an, individual of your age.”

“You’re damn right I do.” Bubby flashed the G-Man a smug grin. “Why the hell should I spend all my time sucking on Werther’s Originals and yelling at kids to get off my lawn?”

“Those are… both things I have seen you do,” G-Man said, puzzled.

“Bah.” Bubby waved him off dismissively. “I said all the time. There’s a time and place for everything.”

“I know, all about the correct times, and places.”

“I’m sure you do.” Bubby rolled their eyes, then hefted up two large stuffed animals. “Now, the matter at hand. Do you want the Murkrow or the Honchkrow?”

G-Man eyed them both, then raised an eyebrow at Bubby. “Is there a… reason both my options are, of the corvid variety?”

“No,” Bubby said, lying. “I just thought you would like them. Was I wrong?”

“I, suppose not,” G-Man said after some consideration. “The Murkrow, then. It looks very, mm. Polite.”

“Great choice.” Bubby tossed the Pokemon plush into their cart, then continued perusing the shelves of plushies.

“I’m still not sure what… inspired this excursion.” G-Man followed at Bubby’s shoulder, unintentionally looming menacingly, sending some of the other shoppers scurrying away from the pair. Bubby didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Gordon and his resident menace got themselves some of these things a couple weeks ago, and like hell am I letting those two have all the fun.” Bubby grabbed a Torracat plush off the shelves and threw it in the cart.

“The association with Dr. Freeman and… Benry is not alleviating my childishness concerns,” G-Man said, frowning. Bubby stifled a snort.

“I can’t argue that. Still, you need to lighten up a little, Gary.” Bubby elbowed him lightly. “Even you’re not heartless enough to say Pokemon aren’t cute, right?”

“They… are quite cute,” G-Man admitted.

“Exactly! Let yourself enjoy it.” Bubby turned their attention back to two other plushies they’d grabbed off the shelves. “Do you think Harold would want the Hitmonchan or the Primeape?”

“The Primeape, certainly.”

If G-Man’s employers had an issue with him surreptitiously grabbing a Ninetales plush for his son and paying for the whole shopping trip with his business credit card that didn’t really exist, they didn’t have the heart to stop him. After all, Pokemon were very cute.

#hlvrai #gman coolatta #g-man coolatta #bubby #my writing #okay to reblog #sorry this one is short! my brain is dead </3 #confession: I know very little about pokemon #the only pokemon game I've played is pokemon go #so that's where I'm drawing most of my pokemon knowledge lol #that and google

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leroyzboots · 3 years ago

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you and i are trying, together.

part two.

The amount of unease that can fit into Tommy's more-than-human-less-than-god body is honestly surprising.

Tommy paces back and forth on the floor of the Lambda lab, his Beyblade whirring between his fingers and his precious immortal dog following behind him with love.

They'd arrived at around half past midnight, but it's now early morning and there's been no sign of the other two members of the science team.

Bubby leans back in their chair, crossing his knee-high laced boots over their knee, and bounces the other one out of anxiety.

"Tommy," he barks; "you're scaring the other scientists."

Tommy glances down and realizes that the Beyblade is whizzing madly in the air around his hands, suspended from nothing.

"D-dammit," He mutters, snatching his toy back and returns it to his pocket.

"They sho-should have been back by now."

Tommy stops pacing for a second and stares down the Coomers with his father's intensity.

"Surely, Benrey could have used teleportation?" Harold chimes in, his knuckles bruised slightly from his repeated stims.

"I think that's what he meant, dear," Bubby replies, patting their husband's shoulder affectionately.

"Yes, exactly!"

Tommy throws his hands into his pockets, huffing out his frustration.

"The f-fact that they're not...back yet! Means something has gone-"

A enormous thud echoes from the the floor, a piece of tile juts out slightly and scatters the scientists nearby.

"Wrong," Tommy finishes miserably, drawing his gun and preparing for Xen's creatures.

Beside him, Sunkist snarls, her hackles raised in warning.

The tile cracks and shoots into the air, with accompanying gunfire from below, and a hatch busts open from the hole.

Tommy aims to shoot, but immediately lowers his gun upon seeing Mr. Freeman's tired but happy face, followed closely by Benrey, the bags under his eyes looking darker than usual.

"G-Gordon!!"

Tommy rushes forward, embracing them both, and the knots of tension unravel in his stomach.

Benrey snuggles just a little closer into Tommy's coat, and Tommy releases Gordon to pull Benrey into a full hug.

Tommy planned on never admitting it to himself, but these two were the people he loved the most.

Benrey..he'd known Benrey for years.

It started when Benrey was just out of training, and Tommy had completed his certification to become a top scientist.

Benrey was 19, maybe 20 at the oldest, his hair pulled into a ponytail that ran down his back.

They weren't close, then, Benrey had been assigned to guard the G-Man's adopted son.

Benrey couldn't die, and Tommy's line of work was dangerous enough to need protection.

So it all worked out.

They barely exchanged more than a few words to eachother until that one night, that one fucking night and Benrey is tripping over himself in tears, blood pouring from the wound on his back and he's clutching Tommy, pawing at his shoulders.

Benrey trembled like he's made from glass and will break if he falls, and Tommy gripped the back of the others security vest so tightly the kevlar nearly rips in half.

And that's saying something.

That night they sat together and they're closer in distance than they've ever been, Tommy's warm and gentle hands bandaged the wound above the numbers tattooed onto Benrey's tailbone and Benrey spilled everything.

Between sniffles and the occasional sob, Benrey confessed, about the tools that somehow hurt him beyond regeneration, leaving a scar, about the men and their evil sticks of lightning that would seep into his bones and fill him with pain so intense he felt like he would break in half.

Tommy nearly broke in half himself.

He felt helpless, and so he went to the only person he knew would make the ones who hurt his first and only friend pay dearly-

His father.

Oh, Tommy had never seen the G-man so angry.

Black Mesa was a research facility, for god's sake, dedicated to the study of alien life and the progression of the human body.

So when Tommy's dad realized that the prototype imprisonment he had resolved several years ago had resurfaced with an even uglier face, he sent scientists who had never experienced fear in their lives tripping for the door in yelps of terror.

And that had been the end of it.

Benrey continued his job as a security guard, people who had previously been made in the facility were hired back on as scientists in new departments such as mixology and cybernetics, and Black Mesa cut its ties with the military.

Black Mesa, Benrey explained later in his own broken way to Tommy in the quiet breakroom during lunch hour, had been trying to create the perfect human being.

There were thousands upon thousands of prototypes that had been created, and Benrey had been the last.

But there had always been something wrong with the ones they created, whether it was serious physical or mental deformities, or simply a sense of fucked up little creature that ended up resulting in the insane amount of scientists with the ability to grow in size, and the security guards that always had a few too many rows of teeth or glowing eyes and severe anger issues.

They weren't always grown in tubes, Tommy learned, but they were always branded with their serial number on the base of the spine.

The one before him, Benrey quipped with a mouthful of sandwich, had been born to a prototype and a normal human employee, before they stripped them out with a memory wipe and sent them into normal society.

The anxious feeling that haunted Tommy in the years that followed had something to do with that piece of information in particular.

Something told him that the military and the alien planet they were studying wouldn't let go of Black Mesa kindly.

Mr. Freeman confirmed that.

He's in the hallway, on his way to get a soda, when he's met with a newer employee, only worked here about 4 or so years.

He seemed kind enough, if a little loud and stubborn. And alright, maybe it hurt Tommy's feelings when Gordon called him a freak, but that was pushed aside with the Resonance Cascade.

Tommy knew that this was it, this was the boot boys' revenge for cutting them out of the picture, but there was something else, distinctly and unsettlingly alien about the Cascade.

The whole of Black Mesa fell into shambles, with creatures of Xen integrating into their carefully built walls and lives, and Tommy kinda freaked, okay?

He'd seen Dr. Coomer around, always greeting him with a wonderful "Hello!!", and was met with a thrill in his stomach when he introduced another prototype as his husband.

Those two had been with him, in the observation room when the project exploded around Gordon and Benrey-

he wasn't supposed to be in the test chamber, what if it seriously hurt him?-

And maybe that was when Tommy realized he was in love with Benrey.

Over time, he felt a sense of conflict slowly building as he made friends with Mr. Freeman.

He seemed to hate Benrey, they hated eachother, but Tommy liked one and loved the other so he became their middle ground.

He was convinced to himself that Benrey liked him as well, until that room, that dark, dark room, and suddenly Benrey is kneeling in a puddle of Gordon's blood and Bubby is screaming, sobbing, blubbering his apologies to anyone who is listening as the soldiers drag them away and Benrey-

He says it, he says those words and it breaks Tommy's heart into a billion pieces-

"Because I love him, okay?! I'm fucking- whoop-de-doo, in love with Gordon god. G-goddamn Freeman, okay?..."

And then Benrey teleports, and he's gone, and Bubby is gone and Dr. Coomer leaves him in the cold dark sewer by himself.

Tommy cried.

Burying his head in his coat, he cried hard and long, alone on the rocky floor.

And then Mr. Freeman crawls out of the pipe, and Tommy can't help it, he holds him.

Gordon reeks of sewage and his bloody hand smells of copper but Tommy doesn't care, and alright, maybe that's when Tommy realized he's in love with Gordon too.

Alright, Tommy can deal with that.

Something Tommy can't deal with is the fact that his instincts are going fucking haywire.

Tommy's always been very perceptive when it comes to time, maybe he can't stop time like his father can, but he's definitely got a certain sense of time and reality as it surrounds him.

Being able to reach out and touch and feel certain areas, but not control them, and all of time is wrapped around him like a blanket.

So when the floor crumbles away below them and Benrey and Gordon fall deep into the recesses of Black Mesa's hellscape, Tommy freaks the fuck out.

A deep, inherent concern lays nested in the pit of his mind like a pile of cottonmouth snakes, hissing madly and snarling that something, something, is absolutely wrong with how this is supposed to go.

Tommy has a sinking feeling that something terrible is going to happen.

Man, Benrey really hates this place.

The scientists of the Lambda lab asked a simple request of the Science Team- go through the portal to Xen, get rid of the Nihilanth, bring back some weird space shit.

Easy as pie.

Right?

Wrong.

Benrey feels sick, feverish on this planet.

As he follows behind the group, his legs feel leaden and heavy, and he tugs at the collar of his uniform, which feels uncomfortably tight around his neck.

He's sweating, unusually warm beneath his helmet, but shivering as though chilled to his bones.

There's a tug, deep in his torso, pulling him along, but it's a nasty, oppressive feeling that makes his limbs feel like noodles.

He swallows nervously, eyes darting across the fetid, blood colored planet of Xen.

The sour smell clogs his senses, and as they trudge deeper and deeper through the portals, away from the floating rocks with little gravity and past strange barrels of highly toxic looking liquid, the heavy pull in Benrey's chest only grows stronger and more sickly.

They push through a final, puke-green portal, and the feeling inside of Benrey swells to near explosion.

A cave, with jagged and dark stone running up the walls in wicked cracks, a deep red flush to the area.

Water is flooding Benrey's boots, a putrid and decaying smell to the liquid, and it only adds to Benrey's fatigue.

The creature before them could only be the Nihilanth itself, and the very sight sends such a fucking shudder down Benrey's spine.

It's disgusting, twisted and pulsating flesh running down what must be its face, beady eyes in a cadaverous socket.

It looks like a fetus, a failed attempt of termination long after the allotted time.

It speaks, and the chorus of voices that accompanies it gives away the fact that Xen isn't just the planet-

It's the entire race.

"So. The humans have finally decided to be rid of us."

Gordon looks tired, beaten, but pulls himself upward and grunts through the pain of his broken shin.

"Get your video game dialogue out of the way," he says, with a dismissive wave of his gun-hand.

"I'm about done with this alien shit."

The Nihilanth laughs, a hideous and painful sound, and tilts its head in curiosity towards the little group of vagabonds.

"But you have brought us the very thing we need, Mr. Freeman."

Gordon groans in frustration, turning back to his friends with his teeth grinding against eachother.

"Why does it know my name?"

Xens' audience shrieks with delight, and the Nihilanth's barely feasible mouth twists into what can only be guessed as a grin.

"Xen knows everything about you, Mr. Freeman."

Benrey sways on the spot, his boots splashing the strange water, and the scene before him blurs.

"Whadda....what the hell are you..talking about, man?"

Xen's creatures seem to roar with laughter, and beside Benrey, Dr. Coomer throws up his fists protestingly.

"Xen has been all knowing, all seeing since time begun. As we grow, so do our minds, until we are forced to repopulate. Regrow."

Beneath their feet, headcrabs scuttle ominously, causing Tommy to jump backward with surprise.

"But human beings became a problem for Xen. Their flimsy bodies failed, burst open upon integration."

Benrey is only just awake enough to process this.

"The scientists of Black Mesa were so eager to learn of a new planet. So Xen took influence, and under the guise of building a perfect human being, created what Xen needed."

Gordon scoffs, his shoulders shaking as he laughs scornfully.

Xen reacts strongly, a collective hiss rising around them.

"Do not laugh at us, human."

The headcrabs stay at a distance, but raise their pincers and click them menacingly as the Nihilanth's speech continues.

"Xen required a human being who could withstand radiation, a being who could lose blood en mass and not perish."

A sense of dread washes over the Science Team, and Tommy instinctively puts himself in front of Gordon.

Bubby ignites his arms protectively.

"Let me guess," Gordon growls, revving up his minigun limb; "you needed me?"

Xen's creatures wail in joy, and Benrey takes that as a yes, and reaches for his gun, when something big and poisonous and slimy wraps around his ankle.

"Xen requires Benrey."

Benrey yelps as the Nihilanth drags him underneath the water, bubbles of Sweet Voice trailing from his mouth as his back bounces on the cragged floor beneath the surface.

The Nihilanth swings him into the air, and Benrey splutters, ears waterlogged under his helmet, which slips from his head and falls to the ground with a splash, Benrey's short black hair now dripping wet.

"Look at you, our once perfect vessel- a mewling, pathetic dog."

Hung upside down by his ankle, Benrey gasps in pain as Xen shakes him repeatedly, and for a brief, sickening moment, Benrey is forcibly reminded of the Finding Nemo movie Tommy showed him-

He feels like a fish in Darla's little bag.

"Bark, bark, bark but no bite. You were made with Xen's own blood and yet you cannot even protect those you are infatuated with."

With that, the Nihilanth throws him to the far wall, and his skull cracks on the rock.

It doesn't heal, and Benrey slumps down, struggling to stand, his eyesight swimming with tears.

"You think the Freeman human loves you? You cost him a limb. You would be perfect save for your one flaw- you kneel before a man you could kill with no effort, and you beg him to love you as you love him."

Benrey shakes, kneeling, and whimpers as he chokes out a sob, not trying to disguise his tears.

"You truly are nothing."

"No."

The word is tiny, barely audible.

Then again, louder, with a crack of his voice but more than enough power-

"No. You're wrong."

Gordon pulls himself to full height, scowling so deeply the age shows on his face.

"Benrey is everything to us. To all of us, but especially me."

"Y-yeah! We're not afraid of you!" Tommy chimes, and Sunkist howls with approval.

"If you or your alien bitches thought we'd just leave him here, you're just as stupid as you look."

Bubby grins wildly, cracking their neck from side to side, his bright and eager eyes flashing beneath their glasses.

"Don't fuck with the Science Team!" Coomer bellows, and Bubby cheers beside him.

"Now I'm only gonna tell you once," Gordon beams, turning away from his family to draw his gun-hand and point it at Xen's Nihilanth.

"Piss off."

Gordon fires, and the accompanying screams of headcrabs and peeper puppies echo across the cave, and Benrey is overtaken with an aching, sweet feeling he usually associates with Gordon.

It's love.

Benrey smiles fondly as his knees buckle and he falls to the ground and submerges in the murky waters.

Benrey wakes up and immediately is struck with a massive goddamn headache.

He closes his eyes and pulls the pillow over his ears, but the pain is there and clearly is not going anywhere, so he's going to have to ask for an aspirin or some shit.

Sitting up makes him so nauseous it's not even funny, so he decides it's not worth it to stand.

A loud snore startles Benrey enough to yelp, and he glances around for the source of the noise.

Sitting hand in hand on the floor, against the wall opposite his bed, are Gordon and Tommy, both bearing signs of wear and both dead asleep.

Gordon is clutching Benrey's helmet so tightly to his shirt it looks uncomfortable, and Tommy is curled protectively around Gordon's shoulders.

They're half dressed, like Black Mesa decided that the HEV suit and a bloody lab coat was not appropriate clothing but also did not have a whole lot of options for back up wear.

Benrey guesses this based on the fact that Gordon's not really wearing pants and Tommy's wearing a t-shirt that says "Birthday Girl".

Something about the fact that they're holding hands hurts Benrey, just a little.

His heart aches for a moment as he remembers the warmth of Gordon's hand and the feeling of a hug from the Beyblade enthusiast who was his best and only friend for a very long time.

Benrey shakes his head, decides he's going to repress it, and yawns.

God, his head hurts.

Benrey figures that if he stands, he's going to trip and probably break something, and since he doesn't trust his regeneration ability right now, he's not risking it.

Instead, he picks up his pillow and heaves it at the two scientists as hard as he can.

Tommy jolts awake, blinking, then smiles widely upon sighting the guard.

"Benrey!!"

Tommy shoots upward, and makes the distance between the wall and the hospital bed in one step, leaving Gordon to slump over and yell in surprise as he hits the floor.

Benrey's pulled into a crushing hug, and he wheezes for Tommy to be gentle.

"S-sorry!" Tommy cries happily, pulling back to take in Benrey's face.

"It's..it's g-good to see you awake."

Gordon stands, still holding the helmet, and wanders over to where Tommy is perched on the edge of the bed.

"You've been out for hours," Gordon adds, gently reaching out with his left hand to ruffle Benrey's hair.

"We were starting to get worried."

Benrey swallows his funny retort for once, instead choosing to spit out some clear blue song in response.

Tommy reads it almost immediately, and excuses himself to get medicine.

Gordon takes his spot on the bed, and just looks over Benrey.

Benrey feels like he's being scrutinized, with Gordon's soft green eyes just roaming over his face.

"Alright. Fucking. Get the questions outta the way," Benrey mumbles irritably, sticking out his tongue.

"I know you're fuckin. Curious about the shit Xen said."

Gordon laughs sweetly, setting the helmet down on the bed next to him and runs his fingers over it fondly.

Benrey takes a note of his new right hand, a grey-black prosthetic that clicks when Gordon moves his knuckles.

"I don't really have any questions," Gordon grins, adjusting his shirt.

"Other than, are you okay?"

Benrey's taken back by this one.

Not only did he cost Gordon his hand and almost his life about thirty billion times, but everyone (including him!) also just found out that Benrey was made with Xen DNA.

He's essentially Gordon's enemy in every sense of the word, and Gordon is asking if he's okay?

"....did the Nihilanth hit your head or somethin', man?? What the hell kinda. Question is that one??"

Gordon's smile softens massively, and it makes Benrey's heart melt into a little puddle in his stomach.

"Benrey, you saved my life a whole shit ton of times back there."

"Yeah, I also almost got you killed," Benrey interrupts, but Gordon doesn't pause.

"I've been thinking about a lot of things while you've been asleep, and I've been talking with Tommy a lot too."

Benrey's happy puddle evaporates into a heavy leaden ball inside of his chest.

"I don't need to hear this, dude."

Gordon looks a little confused, so Benrey keeps going.

"You're. I know you heard the shit Xen said about...."

Benrey pauses, unsure if he wants to say it out loud.

That'll finalize it, forever.

He takes a breath, then with a great effort, says it out loud.

"I love you. Have since we were kids, have since I first met you. Xen was...right. They were fucking right, you're happier with Tommy because he's never hurt you or..fuck. Fuck, man, you don't feel the same and I'm done pushin' it on you. We uhh, clear?"

Gordon covers his mouth with his hand, and for a split second Benrey thinks he's made him cry, but Gordon bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach and snorting in between giggles.

"B-Benny, you idiot, I am in love with you."

Maybe it's the sudden affectionate nickname, or the fact that Gordon said he loves him.

But Benrey blushes, hard, and pink-to-blue sweet voice bubbles out of his mouth in surprise.

"Whuh?"

Tommy walks back into the room, bottle in hand, and pauses at the sight in front of him.

"Oh, are w-we doing conf-confessions now?!"

Before Benrey can even speak, Tommy drops down beside him and kisses him on the cheek, putting him and Gordon's hands in his own.

Tommy doesn't say it, but Benrey gets the point.

"Fucking- FINALLY!!"

Benrey just might die for real.

Bubby leans in the doorway, a smug grin on his face, elbow resting on Dr. Coomer's shoulder.

"Ah, young love is beautiful!"

Tommy and Gordon laugh cheerfully at Dr. Coomer, and Benrey buries his face sheepishly in the blankets.

It takes a few days, but Benrey recovers pretty well from the Nihilanth.

He's thought a lot about what Xen said.

And he's decided that they were very wrong about him.

His love for other people isn't a flaw, it's his best quality.

He can and will protect the people he loves with his life, no matter what.

And he knows that the people he loves will do the same for him.

With time, Gordon learns not to flinch at the sight of his right hand, or gag when he drinks a soda.

Benrey learns to accept hugs and snuggles from Tommy, and figures out the jokes that Gordon likes and doesn't like.

Tommy is always there to patch up Benrey's injuries, and learns better responses that don't involve soda when Gordon needs to vent.

So Benrey feels safe, and knows that he's not the only one who's trying to be better.

Benrey and them are trying, together.

#hlvrai #frenrey #tomrey #freelatta #frenreylatta #leafy fics

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headoverhiddles · 4 years ago

Text

The Romance Of A Yellow Rose - Dr. King Schultz x Reader [Smut]

Words: 5.6k

Synopsis: You and King get married, and celebrate your first night together by consummating the marriage.

Commissioned by a friend! Enjoy.

Your eyes open on the rugged planes of the Southern state the three of you had found yourselves in. As you roll over to stretch the sleep out of your body, you find a single yellow rose, native to this area. A smile grows on your face. It’s King’s way of saying good morning to you, as it had been for many months.

For years now, you had been tagging along with Schultz and Django. Having attached yourself to their travels three hot summers ago, the two men had become quite fond of your travelling company; King in particular. Over time, your relationship had evolved from a companionship, through friendship, to having romantic feelings for one another. You were the first to admit to them; King hadn’t wanted to say anything, as he still held a fruitless hope that one day he could return you to the pleasantries of the normal life you once knew, before it had been uprooted. But as the months passed, you getting more and more comfortable and (dare he say) suited to the lifestyle of a bounty hunter, it was becoming apparent that you were going nowhere. Not without him, anyway.

Hildy had decided to stay with some friends in the North while the three of you travelled the country on business. Texas Jack, Turkey Creek and Jack’s wife Camarilla were more than happy to keep her with them. It had put Django at ease at least, knowing they had one less person they had to worry about with them catching a bullet. Hildy was even teaching Camarilla different things she had learned over the years at their home, and the four were getting on fine from what Django took from her letters to him. King wished you had enough sense to stay with them, but where the older bounty hunter went, you went. You had made that quite clear.

Today, a warm day in mid October, you, King and Django were headed to visit a plantation in Conroe, Texas. There an outlaw by the name of Amos “Sly Eye” Little had been posing as an overseer for 3 months, flying under the radar on the small eastern Texan plantation. He wasn’t a particularly dangerous outlaw, only wanted for his habit of skipping out on poker games before paying up. Three months ago, he ended up double crossing the wrong man which led to legal involvement, and now to deter trouble in peaceful towns he was wanted dead or alive by the state. King and Django had discovered upon visiting this plantation that the family who owned it had been dodging the law for a while as well.

After the slaves had been freed by King and Django, this outlaw family just so happened to get in the way of a few bullets. The last man left alive on the property is now Amos.

“Back here!” you call. King dashes toward you, swiping you out of the way as a bullet whizzes by your ear. You sit in shock for a moment, King’s arm still around you. For a man who isn’t very dangerous, this Amos sure is trigger happy.

“Django!” King shouts, but his partner is already far ahead in pursuit. “Never listens,” the doctor mutters, loading his shotgun and aiming. You watch as Django dodges a couple more of the outlaw’s bullets before grabbing Amos by his collar, lifting him up a few feet. The man tries to scramble for his gun, but Django of course is faster. Just as he’s about to fire at close range, King clucks his tongue, looking through his target. “Bullseye.” Your eyes shut briefly as the snap of the bullet leaving the gun jolts you closer to the older man. He pulls you out of sight once more as the bullet hits Amos through the side of his head, out the other side in a bloody deluge. Django jerks his head up your direction, dropping the corpse into the carnage at his feet.

“I was handling it!” he mutters.

King comes out from behind the tree, helping you up with one hand. You brush off your pants as you both approach the other man. “You were being hasty again,” King says.

“I was handling it,” Django insists with a look. You two nudge arms amiably, and King gives you a disapproving look.

“You are encouraging him.” He turns to Django. “And you’re encouraging her.”

“What’s wrong with a little congratulations?” you giggle. “You got your dead cowboy.”

“I would trade a thousand dead cowboys to keep both of you alive. You’re the best things that have ever happened to me, do you know that?” King gives you a meaningful look, before brushing off Django’s jacket and squeezing your hand. “Forget this place. We’d better get the horses and get out of here.”

Taking the initiative, you go off in search of Tony, Fritz and Ida, your mare. Django approaches King, taking off his bloodstained gloves. “You talked to her yet?”

“She doesn’t know, no.” King looks down, nervously stroking one side of his moustache. “I was waiting for the right time.”

“You wait any longer, she’s gonna be burying her husband to be.” King doesn’t bother taking offense—he knows Django is right. He’s much older than you—not one foot in the grave as Django likes to tease, but older. That had been another source of insecurity for him during the burgeoning relationship, but you had made it clear that you didn’t mind; in fact, you liked the difference in age. King’s fellow bounty hunter interrupts his thoughts. “Y’all should get married here. Nice place, no one left in it now.” Schultz looks around the grounds. It is pretty, and it would be nice to marry you in such agreeable weather... but King shakes his head.

“No Django. This place was built on treachery and suffering. It would be not only tasteless, but bad luck to get married here.”

When you three make it to the next town in the state over of Arkansas, something is waiting for King at the inn.

“You Doctor Schultz?” the innkeeper asks, spitting tobacco into a spittoon. King nods, taking out his billfold. The innkeeper sizes him up. “Yep, man who sent this said fella looking like you’d be coming through here. This’s for you.” He takes a letter out from behind the desk in one of the cubbies, and slides it across. King expects it would be from Texas Jack, but it instead it’s from a different friend in the North; a sheriff acquaintance he had written to before about his situation with you. Thanking the man, you all head upstairs, and when King gets to a desk, he slips on his reading glasses.

Thought you’d make your way through this here town, Schultz-

Sounds like a hell of a woman, the one you’ve told me about. You softie. Knew you wanted to settle down, and it’s about damn time, too. What the hell are you doing with her down in the South then? She oughtta be up here. Maybe I’m biased, but there’s a lot more law n order up here. Better people too. I am biased, spose.

You asked me what I thought about asking for her hand. Why wait to marry her? Hell, bring her up, we’ll have a ceremony here! I’m not only a sheriff, but an ordained minister too. Bet you didn’t know that. Wouldn’t kill you to ask. Anyway, no reason why I can’t make things look good, clean up the place nice and host your happy union. Got some more birthday cake here too, for someone to eat. Pretty good.

Come on up when you finally convince yourself she won’t say no.

- G. A.

“You got a letter back from Sheriff Snowy Snow?” Django smirks. King stares at the letter in his hands for a long while, before looking up at him with a smile.

He could do it. He could finally ask for your hand.

“Django, my boy. We’re going to Nebraska.” You overhear, and turn back with the bags.

“Up North? What for?”

“To see an old friend of mine, fraulein,” King says, taking the bags from you to carry inside. “Sheriff Gus Arnett.” You smile. It’ll be nice to get out of all this heat and around some likeminded people—people who King can relax and be himself around.

You had all stopped off to pick up Hildy in Boston after travelling by train through the Southern states and switching back to horsepower as you made your way up through the wintery landscape of barren northern land. It was worth it, of course; King and Django had insisted Hildy come too, and you had been happy for female company.

“Has my troublemaker been behaving himself?” is the first thing Hildy asks you, kissing your cheek in greeting.

“About as much as mine has,” you laugh.

“Coming from the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. It is you who has been the naughty one,” King chastises you right back.

“Maybe one day, you can teach me a lesson for it.” King blushes as Hildy lets out a loud laugh at the connotations of such a taunt. He knows you’re still virginal, waiting for marriage as you’ve told him before. Once united by matrimony, that’s another wall that could be knocked down between you, if you decided you still wished to give yourself to him.

It was no secret you wanted King, and he had made it plain he would wait for you—he’s a gentleman in every sense of the word. Still, men have needs, and some late nights it had been hard. Many evenings by the fire had ended with you in his lap, grinding down as you kissed him with feverish intensity. It had always ended the same way however, with you heading off to sleep alone and leaving him with nothing but his mind to picture what the next hour may have felt like. This time, King feared he wouldn’t last once he finally got to feel you as he’d wanted to for so long. Either way, he had a silver tongue, and experience in the art of pleasuring a woman. He wouldn’t leave you wanting; whatever you needed he would give you.

Arriving at the snowy lodge some days later, Sheriff Gus Arnett comes out the front door. A couple of minks and rabbits are hanging from the roof over the porch, and two pairs of boots caked with snow are drying outside by a wooden rocking chair that had been collecting frost no doubt since September.

“King Schultz and Django Freeman, in the flesh! Come on in with your little ladies!” he says, opening his arms. You approach first, and he shakes your hand with the assurance of a man who’s not used to gentle handshakes. “I don’t believe we’ve met, ma’am,” he says softly, “But any friend of King’s is a friend of mine. Especially a friend like you.” He winks at you and smirks over at King, who ushers you in out of the cold quickly. Gus tips his hat at Django and Hildy, closing the door after they come in.

“Like I said,” he sighs, “We got some cake. Y’all want some?”

“Perhaps we wait until after dinner?” Schultz proposes.

“I wouldn’t mind some,” Django speaks up, giving King a look. King just chuckles.

“Go ahead, my boy. I was a dentist, remember. Old habits remain, I suppose. Would you like some, (y/n)?”

“I’ll have the piece you didn’t want,” you tease. You lean closer to him to brush your lips against his ear. “When it comes to you, I want everything.” The former dentist swallows. This proposal couldn’t come at a better time, as things between you two are heating up.

That night after dinner of rabbit stew and some leftover cake for dessert for everyone but your beloved, everyone had retired to bed a few hours after the sun had gone down. In your own room, you set your satchel on the bed of clothing you had been travelling with in the South, and just as you’re about to unpack, a knock at the door distracts you from your task. King slowly pushes the door open—he’s dressed in his white shirt and grey vest, his hair freshly combed back. It seems counterproductive to groom that well before bed, but to be fair, you had never personally witnessed King’s nocturnal habits in a place that allows such a luxury. He offers his arm, and when you take it in curiosity, he leads you out the back porch of the lodge home. The wind isn’t too cold tonight, but he still wraps his arm around you. The mountains are beautiful out here, and the snow has stopped for the night to allow for a crystal clear view of the surrounding landscape, snow white on the bottom and starry black on top.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been able to sit together like this,” King says. “Just sit and enjoy one another’s company alone. It’s very rare we get time just the two of us without our faithful hero.” You lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Mm. We’re usually around a campfire, with Django snoring behind us.”

“At least we don’t have any of that to score our evening. I think Django’s gone to bed with Hildy in there.”

“You should be in bed too,” you fret. “I’ve noticed you haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I never have been very good at that. I’m a light sleeper, fraulein. Especially when I have lots on the mind.”

“You know what helps me when I can’t sleep?” You smile. “Something I learned from you.” King turns to look at you, a soft chilly breeze blowing the silver blonde hair from his eyes.

“What’s that?”

“A story.”

King ducks his head, and pulls you closer to him. “I think that would do the trick. Go on then, my love. Will you regale me?”

“I know a story of a deep running love, where a woman slowly developed feelings for one who she learned to depend on.”

“A common story, no?” King teases.

“Shhh. She loved very freely, but this was different. She not only loved this man, but worried about him when he wasn’t around, yearned for him, desired him in ways that drove her crazy sometimes.” King’s breath audibly quickens.

“And what did our heroine do about this tumultuous situation?”

“Oh, she took care of things. But not like she knew he could.” His breath hitches. You bite your lip as you go on. “The two had been together so long... learning one another’s quirks, laughing at little things and sharing moments others wouldn’t understand. They knew what scared them, what made them smile. At the end of the day, she told the man a million times how she adored him. But she was afraid he still didn’t know how much.”

King rubs down your finger, eyes trained on it before looking up at you. “I think I do.” You forget whatever you were going to say next as King rubs his rough fingers over your knuckles, bringing them up to his lips to kiss them. His beard grazes your skin pleasantly as he opens his mouth. “Will you be my wife?” Your heart skips a beat.

“Truly?”

“True as my love for you.”

“Tomorrow?”

“If you wish.” You lean in to kiss him.

The door bangs open, Gus tosses a pail of water out all over you two. He realizes where you two were sitting, and his eyes widen.

"Gott verdammt."

“Oh, hell. I’m— what are the two of you doing out—?” He can’t even finish his sentence—you’re laughing too hard. King tries to keep up a grumpy facade at the fact that you had both just been drenched in ice water in this weather, but he can’t help it. Your laughter is infectious.

“Please tell me there is enough boiled water for a bath,” he sighs, and you shiver. “For the fraulein, at least.”

Django and Hildy had been up to witness the commotion from the noise of it all, no doubt committing the sight to memory for future teasing. They returned comfortably to bed with one another, which was a comfort you and King couldn’t currently afford in your state.

You get to work drawing the bath as Gus passes you each pails of hot water. King comes in, shedding his dripping fur coat and tugging at his tie. Your eyes drift down to his chest, then back up to his face. King subsequently tries to distract himself so as not to focus too hard on you. You had stripped down to your slip, which was stuck to every curve of your body from the water. The temperature hadn’t done much to help any other evidence of the cold, around your breasts. He tries not to look too long.

“Would you take me out of this?” you ask. It’s a harmless question, but King’s thoughts run wild. He could simply refuse you, but what reason would he give then? That he couldn’t control himself around you, so close to your wedding night?

“Of course,” he sighs softly, and approaches. He takes the back of the slip and undoes the buttons, helping you pull it over your head. He inches it up, the wet material dragging along your skin. He turns to go as you’re revealed, and to his dismay, you don’t stop him. Only one more night, and he could have all of you.

As you step out of the lodge, it’s as if you’ve stepped out into a painting. A light dusting of snow is falling over you, snowflakes catching in your eyelashes and melting tracks down your cheeks like tears of happiness. King is standing there at the end of the pathway shovelled out, just by the small lake. It’s frozen over, reflecting the light of the moon through every little icicle hanging from the branches of trees hanging over top of it. Mountains soar around the group of you, boasting the most beautiful landscape you’d ever seen.

King takes your hand as you approach. Beside him, you see Django dressed in a handsome green winter’s jacket, black leather gloves pristine. On your side, Broomhilda is wearing a beautiful green dress under layers of a form fitting brown jacket. You’re in a beautiful snow white dress with furs covering your shoulders and a fur hat. King is also wearing his grey fur coat. The two of you join hands, and recite vows.

“I know I’m a considerable number of years older than you,” King tells you softly, “But I promise to make up for this. I promise to protect you with my life, cherish you, and support you in every endeavor you wish to pursue.”

“I will stay by your side no matter what,” you tell him, “I’ll be brave when you can’t be. I’ll be strong when you need me to be. I’ll love you as long as my heart beats, and oppose anyone who tries to take you away.” Kindness in his eyes, King smiles down at you, crow’s feet crinkling. He lifts your hand up to kiss.

“Do you take this man?” the sheriff asks.

“I do.”

“Do you take this little lady?” King sighs out through his nose, thumbs rubbing over your knuckles.

“I certainly do,” he breathes.

“Well hell, you may kiss the bride then!”

When King leans forward, you surprise him by taking a step forward and wrapping your arms around him, deepening the kiss. It lasts for an eternity between you, and when you part, King brushes the snow off your rosy cheeks and presses his lips to your forehead.

“Ich liebe dich,” he whispers into your hair, and you slide your arms around his middle in embrace.

Inside the bedroom upstairs, a fire crackles in the hearth. The curtains are open to the snowy view outside, and the frost on the glass only makes you savour the warmth inside. King pours you some bourbon, and comes to sit down beside you in front of the fire. As you cuddle into him, he puts a hand on your back and draws you in for a kiss, his beard pleasantly tickling your face. Bourbon forgotten, the kiss deepens, and you feel his tongue slip into your mouth as you part your lips for more. You pull away, smiling.

“Can I ask you something?”

He looks at you. “Of course. What are you thinking about?”

“How does it feel?”

King looks at you. “You will have to be a little more specific.”

“How does it feel to finally consummate a marriage?”

He stares into the flickering fire. “We don’t have to do it if you’re nervous.”

“I didn’t say that,” you say, crawling over to straddle him. King welcomes you into his lap. “I just wanted to know. You’ll show me?”

“I would love to.”

“You know I’m inexperienced.”

“I do,” King nods.

“Isn’t that undesirable?” King seems offended that you would even suggest such a thing, at the very least ruffled by the idea of it.

“My dear, of course not. Being inexperienced merely means I can show you how to do things.” He hums against your neck, grazing his lips down.

“I’m not completely clueless,” you breathe as you tilt your head back to give him better access. You stand in one smooth movement in front of the fire, leaving King sitting and gazing up at you. “I know what fucking is.” You hear his exhaled breath.

“Yes. I would assume you wouldn’t be entirely in the dark about that.”

“But I’ve never felt it,” you whisper. “I wanna feel it, King.” He doesn’t get a chance to respond. You undo your dress, lace by lace, letting your fingers twine slowly between the hooks. You sigh his name as the corset comes free, recalling how you’d longed for him to do this last night, and you hook the straps of your dress under your thumbs, sliding it down to reveal the slip beneath. You hear his breath hitch, but he doesn’t make a move.

You run your hands down over your ass, letting out a soft noise. You hear him readjust where he’s sitting, and you work now on the cream coloured pants beneath the white gown, sliding them down ever so carefully.

“(y/n),” King whispers.

You let out a moan. “I’ve been wanting to get out of this the entire ceremony just to see how you would look at me, seeing me like this for the first time.” You swing your hips a little, arching your back, and finally wiggle some more as you drop your pants to the floor. King’s breathing is heavier now, and you stretch your arms above your head, sighing again as you let your hair free. “Like I said. I may not have done this before, but I know a lot more than you think I do.”

“I’m not certain I believe that, my feisty little one,” King huffs, averting eye contact. Oh, no. Not tonight he doesn’t. You’re only in your chemise now, and you turn to reveal smooth skin he’s never seen before, bunching the fabric up just enough to give him a peek of the v of your hips.

You can see the visible outline of his hardened cock in his pants, straining against the tight confines and desperate for some kind of relief. You put one leg over his lap to straddle him.

“Touch me?” you whisper, and reach down. He doesn’t stop you, just watches closely as you bring your hands to his pants, untie them, and reach in to take his cock in your hand. He does as you say, returning the touch with his hands up your back, taking the straps of your chemise down. He takes a shallow breath as your fingers come in contact with his warm cock. You grin wickedly, swiping your thumb up to spread his precum around a little. He meets your eyes as you pull him fully out of his pants.

“Oh,” he huffs gently, head falling back a little as you stroke him once.

“Is that good?” you ask softly, pressing a kiss to his ear. “Am I doing it right?” King stutters a little, gasping for air when you swipe over his swollen cockhead again.

“You are doing just fine,” King whispers, lips parting.

“Mmm,” you mumble, pressing a trail of wet kisses down his face and lazily taking his lips between your teeth, leading into a dizzying kiss full of tongue and one another’s slow breath.

“Stop. Wait my love,” King mumbles, stalling your wrist with his hand. You pout.

“What’s wrong?”

He opens his eyes to look at you, pupils blown with lust. “After a show like that, I am at your complete and ready service, not the other way around. Tell me exactly what you want me to do,” he whispers gently, and you get off of him, lying back on the floor like a princess awaiting a treat.

“Could you pleasure me with your mouth?”

Your cheeks heat, but King nods with a smile, dispelling any nerves you might have for such an intimate display of sensuality. He lays you on the floor, pressing kisses down your neck, over your collarbone and across the top of the soft skin of your breasts. His hands come up to gently hold your hips down as they circle upward—he moves your legs so he can brace himself between them, pressing more kisses down over your stomach to the impressions on your hips he’s left with his fingers.

“I want you to have me,” you whisper. King strokes one hand along your thigh.

“It takes time to discover each and every spot that will make you weak for me, lieb,” he mumbles, mouthing at your panties with a practiced finesse. “Be a good girl now for me. Be patient. There is more to come.” The bounty hunter takes the panties down with deft fingers, sliding the fabric down your legs until you’re bare to him. Your cheeks heat, but he reassures you with a starstruck gaze, looking over your body like a lovesick man. He dips his head back down with a soft kiss to your thigh, reaching up to hold your hips as if he’s predicted your body’s reaction already. He presses a reverent kiss to your clit, and his tongue takes a sweep of your folds, making you quiver as his beard scratches the soft skin of your thighs. His prediction proves correct when your hips jerk up as he gives his first lick between your lips. You reach back to grab the carpet, before deciding instead to grip onto his blonde and silver locks where his mouth works between your legs. It’s a surreal pleasure—unlike anything you’ve felt before, and you want more.

“Does that feel good?” King asks. All you can do is nod, but he encourages you to tell him exactly how you feel. “Use your words, fraulein.”

“Yes. Don’t stop,” you sigh.

“My good girl.” King dips back down, swirling his tongue around your bud until you’re shaking. Taking care to hold you close to him, he moves himself up until he’s grinding himself against you. “I want nothing more than to be inside of you,” he whispers.

“Take me as you wish then,” you groan.

“Tonight is about you,” he murmurs against your skin.

“I want it.”

Unbuckling himself, he takes his time slowly working a finger inside of you. He adds another and gently curves them up, before gauging your reaction. Going by the desperation in your face, he slowly replaces his fingers with his cock, pausing every inch to check and see if you’re still alright. You can tell how he’s exercising his restraint—you’re so tight, and all he wants to do is take you until both of you are sweaty and screaming, but he must make this last. You can feel him sliding into you, and his hand comes up to hold yours. Your eyes screw shut as he finally bottoms out, and he presses a kiss to your chest. “Tell me when it is okay to move.” You nod.

“Please.” He starts up a slow pace, covering your body with his as he takes his time with you. Too desperate to take the time King might have in mind to teach you patience, you push your lips harder against him, and roll over on top of him. You kiss the bounty hunter, again and again until your lips are swollen and King is painfully hard inside of you.

“Lift up your shirt for me,” he whispers, his voice gentle. “That’s it.”

“Have me,” you mumble.

“What was that?” King asks, “You must use your words if you would like something, hm?”

You blink up at your older lover. “Please take me King,” you raise your voice, and he smiles.

“Hm.” He gives you an affectionate smile. “I have no choice but to oblige my lady love when she asks as nicely as that. Very well. As you wish.”

He pumps in harder, ripping a groan from you. You’d dreamed of what this would feel like, and it turned out better than you had imagined, King’s soft sighs and the rocking of his body against yours heightening every touch he grazes your sensitive skin with.

A moment later, he pulls out and flips you over gently. He then positions himself between your legs and brings his mouth back down between your legs, suckling around your clit again. “King,” you whisper, breath hitching.

“Louder,” he encourages, and goes back to masterfully taking you apart with his tongue. He soon encourages you to sit on his face, and you do, feeling him lick you perfectly as the pleasant feeling of his beard returns to tantalize your skin. He circles your clit with the tip of his tongue as you reach down to touch his cock. It’s a foreign feeling in your hand, but you soon get the hang of the motions, twisting your fist and using his precum to slick your strokes.

“King... don’t stop,” you groan, his tongue delving just barely inside of you. He moves off of your pussy as you moan, and licks his lips.

“I must admit, I wanted nothing more than to do this all day,” he groans as he moves back up your body, “But I am a gentleman.”

“Too much of one sometimes.”

As if in challenge, he picks up his pace and starts to grunt your name, leaning down every now and then between thrusts to press a kiss to your breastbone as his face scrunches up. You love how uncharacteristically possessive King is getting– it turns you on beyond belief. Your moans grow loud as the bounty hunter’s cock fills you over and over again, satisfying your need for him as your noises blend together into the creak, groan, gasp of making love for the first time.

“K… King…” you groan, breasts bouncing with every thrust. His breath is hot on your neck, and he presses an open mouthed kiss there.

“You are astonishing,” he whispers, “You’re perfect… oh, bitte, bitte Fraulein, you feel so nice… you are my everything.”

“King, just like that, oh god–” you groan, and he makes a noise at your slutty display, reaching up to massage your breasts. You feel your orgasm approach as he continues to touch you, and his hand quickly comes down to rub your clit.

“Ah,” you moan, and clutch his shoulders. King sighs, feeling your pussy squeeze him, and with a stuttered thrust he cums as well, spilling inside you. Soon, you’re crying out his name, and he squeezes your hand tighter as you both finish at the same time, the love you share burning at the height of its passion as your bodies become one. You both rock together to ride out your orgasms until you’re satisfied. Panting breaths mingle as you snuggle close to him.

“Is that what all the fuss was about?” you tease. King frowns at you, and you laugh into his chest.

“Into bed before I take full offense to your jokes, beloved,” he murmurs. You nod, smiling as he helps you up with one hand and carries you bridal style over to the bed covered in furs for a warm night’s sleep together—finally together.

"I am lucky I have such a pretty creature warming my bed tonight," he jokes, "A plucked chicken like me should be very grateful." You huff another laugh, rolling over beside him to finally tuck in with your love.

"I've only ever wanted you. That'll never change, no matter what." You grin. "Tonight only helped solidify that fact."

"So you are with me for my talents in the bedroom, ah!"

"NO--"

"I understand it now."

"King!"

"Shh. Let's sleep now. We will argue like an old married couple in the morning."

The next day, Hildy and Django are already in the living room of the lodge. Gus is in the kitchen making up some breakfast.

“You look radiant this morning,” Broomhilda says, smile wide.

“Yeah. You do look pretty good. Different,” Django nods, narrowing his eyes as if to try and decipher what could have changed about you. Hildy just rolls her eyes, turning back to you from her own husband.

“So. Where’s your significant other?” You grab yourself a cup for the coffee that’s brewing, settling in across from them at the table.

“He’s still sleeping. He worked hard last night.” Tucked in the pocket of your nightgown is a single perfect, yellow rose he had saved you from the South, one King had left his new wife to find upon waking.

#dr king schultz #dr king schultz x reader #king schultz #king schultz x reader #django unchained #quentin tarantino #christoph waltz #christoph waltz x reader #django #django fanfiction #tarantino fanfiction #dr schultz #reader x dr king schultz

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gt-ridel · 4 years ago

Note

i’d LOVE to hear more about your borrower au!

Oh, okay then! Thanks for the interest! :D (Putting it under a cut because it ended up being WAY longer than I thought...)

There isn’t a whole lot to it. I just have a very basic idea of what could happen. Partly because I’ve only played through the beginning of Half-Life one (I attempted to stream it, but my internet connection isn’t strong enough). Everything I know about the series comes from cultural osmosis. When I finally play the games all the way through I’ll have a better idea of things that could happen in the AU. For now what I have is... Barney is a third or fourth generation Borrower who lives inside of Black Mesa. A long time ago some Borrowers were kidnapped and experimented on by the company, but some escaped and managed to hide long enough to start families and such. Barney has never seen anything outside of the facility. As far as he knows, the whole world is concrete and steel and hiding from giant creatures that WILL cut you up or torture you if you are caught. As far as most of the humans in Black Mesa know, Borrowers are just this funny little story people tell to freak out the new guys. “Yeah there’s totally tiny rat people running around in the vents. It’s true! My friend Dave’s friend Tom saw one once! Some kind of messed up experiment that got loose.” New guys tend not to believe it. People who have been around long enough to know what kind of shady stuff Black Mesa is into are a bit less skeptical. Very few people have ever actually SEEN one though. These Borrowers are next level paranoid. (Totally justified) Barney is living on his own. It’s safer to live alone or in very small groups. Less chance of taking other Borrowers down with you if you are caught. He’s claimed a few offices as his territory and scavenges for scraps in them. Mostly I think he eats those gross cockroaches that are always running around (safer to hunt than to steal) but when he needs something non food related, the offices are where he goes. Gordon is fairly new to the company. He recently graduated from MIT, and is currently working on a big project (you know the one). He’s temporarily staying in the level three dormitories just so he can basically run off to have a shower and a snooze before getting right back to work every day. Once the project is over, he’ll return to commuting from home. He’s heard the stories about Borrowers, but Dr. Kleiner assures him it’s just a prank people like to pull, so Gordon puts it out of his mind pretty immediately. One day Barney sneaks into one of the offices to snag some rubber bands (INVALUABLE stuff). This scientist seems to work very long hours, but he’s pretty sure they’ve left for the night. While he’s climbing up his rope to get back into the vent, he gets spooked by the sound of a giant human opening the door. Barney has never in his life been seen by a scientist, and in his panic, accidentally slips and gets his leg tangled in his own rope. He’s trapped right out in the open at the mercy of some mad scientist! Gordon isn’t a mad scientist, but he sure is a surprised one when he returns to his office with a fresh coffee in hand and finds a tiny man on his desk. Is he seeing this because he’s been working to hard? Had to much coffee? Hasn’t seen the sun in weeks? But no mater how long he stands in the doorway blinking stupidly, the tiny man is still there. Barney feels like he’s going to drop dead at any moment, but he tries his best to at least LOOK calm in the face of death. He gingerly lifts a hand a waves. “Uh, h-hey Doc.” He says with a wobbly smile. “Uh... Hi... tiny... man on my desk?” (Yeah Gordon talks in my AU) Gordon approaches, still in shock, and when Barney flinches back violently, he flinches too. Gordon gently untangles Barney from the rope and introduces himself. With no immediate means of egress, Barney feels like the only thing he can do is chat with the giant, trying to keep things light and friendly. No need to get the scalpels and the cages. Gordon is of course curious as heck, and whatever he was supposed to be working on is completely shoved to the side in favor of talking with Barney all night. Much to both of their surprise (Barney’s more than Gordon’s) they actually end up really enjoying each others company. They share a granola bar from Gordon’s desk (one of the best things Barney has every eaten) and a bit of coffee (Not good at all, but not the worst thing he’s been forced to drink). Over time, Barney finds himself coming back to visit the weird human whenever he’s alone in the office. Gordon is very concerned about Barney’s diet. He eats cockroaches and scraps from the garbage? When was the last time this man had a vegetable? (Barney: What the hell’s a vegetable? What’s a fruit? Are you swearing at me?) These discussions leads to other troubling revelations. Barney is in constant danger. He’s never been outside of the facility. He doesn’t even know there IS an outside! Gordon’s heart is thoroughly broken on the borrowers behalf, and he offers to take Barney with him when he goes home at the end of the month. Barney doesn’t exactly understand, because he thought humans just lived in the dorms. But the more Gordon talks about the outside, the more Barney is captivated by the idea. It is absolutely 100% insane, but... But maybe he could live in a house with Gordon? Not have to worry about hiding. Not have to worry about starving. Get some of that fresh air he’s been hearing about. It takes a little while, but eventually Barney caves, and the two start excitedly planning for the big move. First Gordon has to finish his project, and Barney has to pack up everything he owns (which isn’t too much, but still a job). On the day of the big test, Barney is waiting in Gordon’s office, filled with anxiety and excitement. He waits... And waits... And waits... The lights flicker. Is something wrong with the power? Is... was that a scream he just heard out in the hall? Was that a gunshot?! What’s happening out there? Is Gordon okay? Barney decides maybe it would be safer if he waited for Gordon back in the vent. But just as he’s about to climb in, he hears something huge scuttling through the metal tunnel. Suddenly a... THING bursts out of the vent and lands clumsily on the desk in front of him, scattering giant pieces of paper filled with Gordon’s writing, and shattering the desk lamp. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s staring at a headcrab that has been following his scent all through the ventilation system. (Do headcrabs have noses? I don’t know. But it tracked him somehow) Barney runs and the creature goes crashing after him. Barney is forced to dive for the floor (not a deadly fall for a borrower, considering their incredibly light bodyweight. But still scary!) He’s backed into a corner while this unnatural thing closes in on him. He’s going to die. He’s going to die and he’ll never see Gordon again and they’ll never escape this place and- A figure bursts through the door, covered head to toe in some kind of armor. It races forward, crowbar in hand, and swings at the creature, smacking it away from the cowering borrower. The figure slam it’s weapon into it again and again, long after it’s stopped moving. All that is left is a pile of twisted flesh and yellow viscera. The towering figure then turns to Barney, and his heart is suddenly trying to claw it’s way up his throat. He stands to run, but it’s too late. Swiftly, roughly, a giant gloved hand reaches down and snatches the Borrower up. The glove is covered in alien gore, but that is the least of his worries. He can’t tell who the human is behind the heavy helmet, and even if he could, he can barely breath for fear, let alone speak. The figure examines him, then walks over to the desk and sets him down carefully. The figure falls heavily into the seat, and with arms that suddenly look too heavy for it, lifts the helmet off its head. There in front of the borrower sits Gordon Freeman. Pail, sweaty, shaking, and so, so relieved that Barney is alive. He’s seen a lot of people die today, and was nearly sick with the idea that Barney might be among them. Their plan has been complicated. Leaving Black Mesa isn’t going to be as easy as just hiding in Gordons pocket and walking out the door. Now they are going to have to fight their way out. In game mechanics don’t translate very well to real life, and I don’t think the HEV suit actually has pockets and holsters that let you carry tons of weapons and stuff. I think they settle on having Barney ride along with him inside the helmet. It’s not super safe (and I imagine it would be pretty gross what with the sweat and everything) but it’s the best option they have. That’s all the story I’ve got. I’m not sure how it ends, or if/how we get to HL2 from this, but still. Maybe at the end they just get to go home and live a peaceful life together away from Black Mesa. That would be nice. =p So, uh... Yeah! That’s the idea so far. ^__^;;

#half life #gordon freeman #barney calhoun #borrower barney #borrower au #This took a lot longer to write than I thought it would #;;>.>#But I hope you like it! :)

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virtueangel · 4 years ago

Text

anyways,, what if gordon went back to apologise to benrey and they became best friends?

funny lil idea.

i would just like to believe that there is a world in which gordon feels bad about what he did to benrey — a world where he apologises, and maybe benrey feels a little bit bad as well.

headcanon is after “keep reading” — it’s pretty long, sorry lsdkfjslfj

but uh. yeah. here you go :)

The Apology

Time is relative. It’s a made-up concept — only created to measure and organise. Five months doesn’t seem like very long to someone who is on their deathbed; but it’s a hell of a lot longer to someone who can only seem to fill the space with guilt. Five months is a long time to be drowning for. Unfortunately, Gordon Freeman is the kind of man who fills the space with guilt. He’s had to learn the hard way that five months is, relatively, a long time.

He stands in front of his bathroom mirror, gripping the sink tightly and staring at himself with tired eyes. His skin has gone grey, and his hair has grown out like unmaintained ivy vines. His eyes look heavy without his glasses; like they’re pulling down his whole head with their weight. He wraps his hair into a loose bun, too tired to position it on the top of his head. He runs the faucet and leans over the sink, splashing cool water onto his face with his one hand. He stops the faucet and pats his face with a brown washcloth, frowning at the dark spots under his eyes when he looks at his reflection in the mirror. Five months is a long time to carry guilt in your mouth but never swallow.

Gordon slips his glasses onto his face before turning around to walk back into his bedroom. He makes his way over to his walk-in closet, which is barely half full, and pulls out a variation of the same outfit he wears every day: jeans, some sort of sweater, heavy black boots; all under a white lab coat. He doesn’t get to wear the HEV suit much anymore — or at all, really. There’s no need for it with the work he does now. There’s barely any Black Mesa to work in, for that matter. What was too destroyed to save is just gone; all the employees who died — were killed — never got replaced. The facility is smaller, the staff is smaller, the work is smaller. No more green goo; no more Wikipedia; no more “testing”. Just scientists watching nothing, for ages, trying to decide how to clean up the mess that they’ve made.

This job of cleaning, of course, falls to the people who caused the problem in the first place: the Science Team; Dr. Coomer, Dr. Bubby, Tommy Coolatta, and, well, Gordon Freeman.

Gordon tugs his hair tie to let down his disastrous bun, and instead gathers it into a much more presentable ponytail. Hair this long really shouldn’t be up to regulation at a facility as dangerous as Black Mesa, but it’s not like there are any corrections officers around to stop him — not anymore. Gordon sighs and picks his car keys up from his nightstand, jingling them in his hand before quickly snatching his passport and shoving it into the pocket of his lab coat. He scoffs to himself and rolls his eyes to the ceiling, wondering when bringing identification to work with him will stop feeling like a punishment.

Punishment. Guilt. Same thing.

Gordon drives to work cautiously and parks as far away from the entrance of the building as possible. He knows that the building is OSHA approved — he walked around with the team surveying the facility to make sure it was up to code and that Tommy really had been telling the truth — but a small part of him is still waiting for the entire lab to explode. After what he saw five months ago, Dr. Freeman wouldn’t put anything past the facility.

The walk from his car to the entrance of Black Mesa takes Gordon three minutes. He nods to people he passes, recognising some of them as fellow employees and greeting others just out of politeness. He doesn’t open his mouth to speak any actual words to anyone; he decides they’ll be content with only a little bit of acknowledgement. It’s not like he interacted much with anyone at Black Mesa, even before the accident. The only people he really talks to now are his counterparts of the Science Team, but even then he’s not quite sure what to say to them. They can make small talk all they want, but they’ll never forget what they’ve been through. Avoiding something won’t make it any less real.

Gordon’s first stop when he enters Black Mesa is the break room. He usually tries to avoid this place — or really, anyplace that reeks of memories — but he forgot something at the lab yesterday and this is where the lost and found is located. The room isn’t empty when he enters it, but luckily it is only filled with people Gordon doesn’t mind talking to. Still, he tries to pretend he doesn’t notice any other presences when he bends down to sift through the dark green tub for his wristwatch.

“Good morning, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy exclaims from his seat across the room, beaming a smile at Gordon.

Gordon stands up straight and takes a deep breath before turning to let Tommy see his face. “Hey, Tommy. How’s it going?” He asks, hoping his tone seems genuine.

“I’ve been here for three hours already,” Tommy replies, not directly answering the question. He holds up a can from the table, his arm wobbling the slightest bit. “This is my fourth soda of the morning!”

“I don’t think that’s very healthy, Tommy,” Dr. Coomer offers from his seat across the table from Tommy. He turns to Gordon now. “Hello, Gordon!”

“Hi, Dr. Coomer,” Gordon responds, trying to sound polite. Small talk, he thinks to himself. That’s all I have to manage right now. Small talk.

“Do you want a soda, Mr. Freeman? I think I have an extra quarter if you want it. I know a soda costs three quarters and I only have one but I think that could still be helpful if you only have two.”

“I’m fine, Tommy, thank you,” Gordon replies, pushing his glasses up on his face nervously. This is starting to feel more like a come and sit down with us, Gordon! kind of morning than a let’s say hello and then go our separate ways kind of morning. He bends over to look through the lost and found bin again, fishes out his watch, and turns to leave before he has the accessory fastened around his wrist. Dr. Freeman doesn’t take more than one step when a third person gets his attention.

“For Christ’s sake, Gordon. You never want to spend any time with us anymore. That makes me a little bit sad,” Dr. Bubby says from his seat next to Tommy, and Gordon freezes.

“I’ve just been… busy,” he excuses, but he can’t meet Bubby’s eye.

Bubby sucks the backs of his teeth, making a tsk sound. “Gordon got a fancy promotion and suddenly he’s too busy for us. You hear that?” He says, looking from Tommy to Dr. Coomer.

Tommy looks away from Gordon, but doesn’t make eye contact with Bubby or Coomer. “Yeah, I think I’ve started to miss him just a little bit,” he admits.

Dr. Freeman frowns to himself. “Tommy,” he starts, apologetically.

“I do think you’ve been avoiding us a little bit, Gordon, and I can’t figure out why,” Dr. Coomer cuts in.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Coomer,” Gordon replies, looking at the floor.

“Well don’t just stand there, Gordon! Come and sit down with us!” Dr. Coomer shifts his seat so he’s sitting closest to the wall. He pats the empty chair next to him, inviting Gordon to sit down. Hesitantly, he crosses the room. I guess one little conversation couldn’t hurt.

“What have you been up to, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks, a childish grin hanging on his face as he takes a sip of his soda.

“Just… working,” Gordon replies. The other three go silent, waiting for him to say more, but he doesn’t elaborate. There’s nothing much to say.

“Well, that sounds boring,” Bubby says, earning nods in agreement from Tommy and Dr. Coomer.

“Where have you been working, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks, not knowing what to do with the weighted silence.

“The Lambda Lab,” Gordon replies, spitting the words out quickly.

Dr. Coomer nods in approval. “Oh, I do enjoy the Lambda Lab! What are you up to today?”

“I’m, uh, I’m actually not sure,” Gordon says, looking down at his watch. “You know what? I should actually get going or I’m gonna be late for my assignment.”

“You don’t report to anybody, Gordon! You’re a head scientist!” Bubby retorts, but Gordon is already out of his seat and heading for the door.

“Visit us back here for lunch!” Tommy calls, but Gordon doesn’t turn around for that either. He has no intentions of meeting up with them again for more questioning, but he isn’t going to be the one to crush Tommy’s hopes.

Suddenly, Gordon doesn’t want to go to the Lambda Lab anymore. Sure, that’s where he works now — but he isn’t called for another hour and a half. And besides, it’s not like he really reports to anyone anymore. Everyone is too afraid to tell Gordon what to do, considering how… horribly wrong everything went the last time anyone yelled at him. Dr. Freeman scoffs to himself at the thought of it, remembering how he had been in the right and it was really just that security guard who had screwed everything up… That security guard whom Gordon had always treated like he was stupid. I probably owe him an apology for that, Gordon thinks. I owe him an apology for a lot more than that, actually.

Gordon walks through the wide, abandoned halls of Black Mesa, nervously whipping his head from side to side. He fears that someone might be following him — terrified that someone might see where he’s going. He walks right past the turn in the hallway that will eventually lead him to the Lambda Lab, wincing ever so slightly. Guilt, he thinks. Always the heaviest thing in the air.

Dr. Freeman finds himself in front of a heavy door, the frame lined with red and yellow reflective tape. There’s nothing indicating that it isn’t safe to go in, just probably that you… shouldn’t. Gordon takes a deep breath and pushes the bright red button next to the door, waiting apprehensively as the mechanism slowly whirrs and pulls the doors apart. Gordon taps his foot and tilts his wristwatch upward again, even though he knows he is nothing short on time. The doors seem to take ages to open, when in actuality, he only waits about ten or fifteen seconds. His pulse quickens as he enters the room — a wing of Black Mesa that he has never spent time in before. It’s the part of Black Mesa that everyone views as a dark corner; there are stories about it, but no one has ever actually visited to see if those stories are true or not. Everyone is too afraid.

The room is quiet and spacious, almost… peaceful. Dr. Freeman flips the bulky switch on the wall next to him, and the lab is flooded with light. Gordon takes a deep breath as he scans this unfamiliar territory, knowing exactly what he’s looking for but still unclear on what it’s actually supposed to look like. The question doesn’t remain unanswered for long, because there he spots it, pressed against the back wall of the room: a test tube, filled almost to the brim with gel-like teal fluid. There are about twenty cords plugged into the wall, all of them connected to the tube. Gordon’s stomach lurches when he brings himself to finally look at what’s inside the tube — what’s floating in the teal fluid.

This tube is different from the one Dr. Bubby was grown in. It’s almost cryogenic, but with gel instead of nitrogen. It’s for preservation, but it has only ever been in experimental trials. The tubes were tested with small animals, but never with anything human-sized. Gordon frowns to himself, catching himself feeling bad for a second. What if the tube doesn’t work? What if he’s just been drowning in there for all these months? Dr. Freeman expected to feel emotions if and when he ever visited this room, but he never expected sympathy to be amongst them. He takes a steadying breath, remembering one crucial detail: Benrey isn’t human.

Gordon crosses the room to the control panel, vaguely remembering the day this tube was first introduced. He had been in the room when it was first installed — that was the last time he saw Benrey until, well, now. Dr. Freeman was vaguely briefed on how the tube works, but he never studied it in detail. It was too painful for him. Why try to preserve this life at all?

Nonetheless, Gordon had listened. He presses the big blue button on the control panel, and pushes forward a lever. He turns around to watch the tube as the liquid slowly drains, trying to steady his breathing. One overlying fear leaks into his brain: am I going to regret this? Gordon takes another steadying breath, telling himself that what’s done is done, there’s no going back now. And besides: there’s always a way out. He can simply fill the tube back up again if things with Benrey don’t go as planned, right? There’s more teal gel in Black Mesa somewhere.

Once the gel has been drained, Gordon presses the green button on the opposite side of the control panel to flood the tube with oxygen. “I’ll at least want him breathing…” Gordon mumbles to himself, a touch of sarcasm dancing between his words. He smiles maliciously to himself, about to make a joke, but thinks better of it. He came here to talk to Benrey, not to beat him up. Dr. Freeman has already “killed” Benrey once, — if you could even say that about someone who doesn’t die — he doesn’t need to do it again.

Gordon turns around to watch the thing in the tube, slowly taking steps closer until he could reach out and touch the glass if he wanted to. Little by little, Benrey starts to stand up straighter, open his eyes wider, breathe deeper. Gordon waits, hoping his fearful state doesn’t show on his face. He has nothing to be afraid of. He never had anything to be afraid of. That’s the whole reason why he’s apologising.

“Oh, yo, it’s you,” Benrey says once he regains full consciousness.

Gordon crosses his arms over his chest, realises that this stance seems too dominant, and relaxes his arms at his sides. That feels weird, though, and not guarded enough. He goes on fidgeting with his hands for about thirty seconds before realising how stupid he looks. He’s relieved that Benrey hasn’t commented on it yet.

Gordon takes a good look at Benrey now, allowing himself to really look at the entity for the first time since, well… this might be the first time ever. He’d somehow managed to never take in Benrey’s appearance, despite all the time they’d spent together. Benrey is still wearing his Black Mesa security uniform, but it is now out-of-date. The security chief at the facility decided to instate a new dress code, simply so the guards wouldn’t look like Benrey anymore. He’s wearing black lace-up boots, but they aren’t nearly as chunky as the ones Gordon is wearing. They have a little bit of a platform, but only for the tread. He’s also wearing navy blue pants, with a matching navy blue long-sleeve shirt under his security vest. The only thing missing from his outfit is his helmet. Without it, his hair is revealed; it’s black and fluffy, and Dr. Freeman smiles to himself because he can’t imagine how Benrey ever managed to keep all of that under his helmet in the first place.

“Bro, I’m talking to you. Can you please answer me?”

Gordon is transported back into reality. “What?”

Benrey sighs, uninterested. “I was sleeping so peacefully and you came in here and woke me up. I wanna know why.”

“Wait, you were alive? Like, you could function and shit?” Gordon asks.

Benrey shrugs. “I could see and hear shit. I was like, alive, but not conscious. I couldn’t process anything. It was kinda dumb, but whatever.”

Gordon looks taken aback, making a mental note of that. Alive, but not conscious. Got it. I don’t think that’s what’s supposed to happen. “I actually came here for a reason, believe it or not.”

Benrey makes an exaggerated yawning sound. “So get it over with.”

Dr. Freeman glares. “Can you be nice? I’m trying to be nice right now but I think you’re going to ruin that for both of us.”

Benrey scoffs. “Oh, so you’re going to be nice now like you were nice when you shot me even though I wasn’t even shooting back?”

“You have to understand that you were a threat, Benrey. Do you even know how big you were?”

Benrey laughs. “Yeah, of course I know. I did that on purpose. I thought it was funny.”

Gordon shakes his head. “It wasn’t funny. You terrified me.”

Benrey shrugs. “You hurt me first.”

Gordon goes silent, searching for the right words. Is that true? He wonders. Did I hurt him first? And then, Was it on purpose? “How did I hurt you?”

“You never listened to me when I spoke,” Benrey starts. “All I wanted was your passport, bro! I was just trying to keep Black Mesa safe and somehow that made me the enemy!”

“I didn’t know there was a rule about having ID,” Dr. Freeman replies, but he knows it’s a weak excuse. He closes his mouth, willing Benrey to continue.

“Well, I guess it must’ve been instated that morning or something because I was definitely told that all employees needed an ID to enter any facility, not just the high security ones. And I was just doing my job, you know? I wasn’t trying to… harass you, or whatever. I just needed to know that you weren’t dangerous.”

“I’m not dangerous…”

“I didn’t know that, man! I kinda started to figure it out as we spent more time together, but I didn’t know it in the beginning and I guess I was scared that I was going to get in trouble or something if I just decided that you weren’t dangerous without having any proof of it.”

Gordon sighs, formulating a response.

“Can I get out of this tube? It’s really cramped in here.”

Dr. Freeman mulls over this request, thinking about the pros and cons to each side. It would probably be easier to have this difficult conversation if Benrey weren’t on the other side of the glass. It does seem a bit cramped in the tube — and it’s kind of Gordon’s fault Benrey is in there in the first place. Gordon nods and makes his way back across the room to the control panel, flipping a switch and watching as the tube door slowly flips open. Benrey steps down to the tile floor delicately, wobbling a little bit from the movement.

“You okay there, buddy?” Gordon asks, offering a hand for support.

Benrey takes Gordon’s hand and nods. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Gordon scans the room, looking for somewhere to sit. He does a full rotation with his head, before landing again on the test tube. He panics for a second, wondering where Benrey went, but all he needs to do is tilt his head down to see the entity sitting on the floor in front of him. Gordon sinks down as well, and they sit cross-legged on the tile.

“So you came to talk to me, huh?” Benrey asks, staring Gordon right in the eye.

Gordon looks away, uncomfortable. “Yeah, uh, I guess so…”

Benrey blinks, waiting for Gordon to go on. When he doesn’t, Benrey says, “So get on with it.”

Gordon sighs, willing up the courage to continue. “I wanted to… apologise, actually. I wanted to apologise… to you,” he says finally, avoiding eye contact.

“Okay,” Benrey replies, unimpressed. “What for?”

Gordon rolls his eyes, embarrassed to have even come here in the first place. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he should just seal Benrey back in the tube, fill it up with the teal fluid again, and leave. He could easily pretend not to know what’s in this room at all. He could go back to the break room, sit down with the rest of the Science Team, and act like Benrey is nothing to them anymore. As far as the rest of the team are concerned, he isn’t.

But Dr. Freeman came here for a reason, and he’s going to see it through. “For… everything, I guess. For being rude to you when you didn’t deserve it. For not giving you a chance,” he pauses, looking up at the ceiling. There is a weird tingling in his nose that he desperately wants to get rid of. “For… seeing you as a threat when you weren’t one.”

“I’m Black Mesa security, Gordon. I’m the best of the best. Of course I’m not a threat,” Benrey scoffs.

Gordon freezes, eyes focused intently on the thing sitting in front of him. Human never felt like the right term. But monster is just plain vile. “That is the second time I have ever heard you address me by name.”

Benrey shrugs nonchalantly. He doesn’t look directly at Dr. Freeman. “I’m taking this conversation seriously. And besides — I want it to last as long as possible. I know you’re just gonna seal me back in that tube when it’s over with.”

Gordon opens his mouth to protest, but Benrey cuts him off.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind the tube, actually. It’s better than being dead, I guess. But I’d rather be alive. Have control over my life. It’s shit to have to wait for someone to make decisions for me.”

Gordon fidgets with his ponytail, winding it around his finger and letting it go. “I guess I let my ego get ahead of me,” he says finally.

This seems to catch Benrey’s attention, for he turns back to Gordon and leans forward, suddenly interested in the conversation once again. “You think?”

Gordon is about to groan, when he remembers that arguing is not at all the goal of this conversation. “I was a bit of an asshole, I’ll admit, but I don’t deserve this,” he gestures at Benrey with his right arm — the one with a gun where a hand is supposed to be.

Benrey frowns. “No, I guess you didn’t deserve that.”

The two sit in silence for a minute or so, avoiding each other’s faces, looking anywhere but in front of them. Finally, Benrey breaks the silence with a question.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

Gordon hesitates, choosing his words carefully. “I don’t hate you, Benrey. That’s the whole thing.”

“I told you not to shoot,” he retorts, almost too quickly. “I said to stop shooting, because if you shoot me I’ll have to shoot you and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want violence, you bastard! I just wanted you to listen. But you don’t fucking listen because you think you’re better than everyone else. Look at you!” He gestures to Gordon’s attire. “You’re a head fucking scientist! I don’t know what you did to deserve that title, but it has definitely inflated your ego a good bit. You’re an asshole, you know that?”

Gordon frowns, but doesn’t defend himself. He knows he deserves every word of Benrey’s harshness. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, planning out a response in his head. “I know that I’m an asshole, Benrey, and I’m sorry.”

Benrey perks up, not expecting an admission. Hell, he’d been expecting an argument. He stays silent, willing Gordon to go on, suspicious of the man’s motives.

“That’s why I’m here, actually. It was fucked up, what we did — what I did.” He looks up at Benrey now, cautiously meeting his gaze. Neither of them look away.

“I never meant for it all to get so… grotesquely out of hand,” Gordon continues. “I was blinded by the shiny objects, I suppose. I had a job to do. I had a responsibility — a reputation — to uphold. I was ready to gun down any and everything in my path to get to where I needed to be. I had all these lost and broken people standing behind me, looking to me to make a move. I couldn’t let them down. I had to save them, get them out of Black Mesa. And I guess I was willing to destroy everything just to get them to their destination.”

After a few seconds of silence, Benrey says, “But it wasn’t to get them to their destination, was it?”

Gordon shakes his head. “No. It was for the glory. For the gold star you get when you finish a game.”

“You know gold stars hold no actual weight, right? It’s a fake trophy. Motivation comes in forms of fabrication. You’re smart enough to know that, I think.”

Dr. Freeman nods, breaking eye contact with Benrey. He brushes a strand of hair out of his face and fidgets with his ponytail once again. “I am smart enough to know that. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t naïve.”

There is a moment of silence before Benrey says, “It’s almost admirable.”

Gordon looks up. “Almost?”

Benrey shrugs. “I don’t know. That you were willing to go that whole way. Even if it was for a gold star, you were still doing something good for the rest of them.” He pauses before adding, “But you are in no way a saint. You didn’t have to push me down the fucking ladder to get your happy ending. I could’ve been part of your happy ending.”

“You were getting on my nerves.”

“Weak excuse.”

Gordon nods. He knows that already.

“Is this you saying you’re sorry because you actually feel bad, or just so you can alleviate guilt?”

Alleviate guilt, he thinks to himself, realising the truth. But he doesn’t want it to be the truth. He continues. “Look, the point is getting away from me.”

Benrey scoffs. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry about… everything. You’re not a threat. I know that you were just trying to do your job. I got angry when I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve me lashing out at you…” He trails off, his eyes landing on the tube behind Benrey. He gestures at it with a nod of his chin. “You don’t deserve that, either. You’re not dangerous. You don’t deserve to be locked in a cell.

Benrey smiles. “I don’t mind the tube, but I miss Black Mesa. I miss,” he stops, looking down at the tile floor between his crossed legs. He begins tracing a circle with his fingernail. “I miss the Science Team, a little bit. Even though I know I wasn’t technically part of it. I miss Tommy, and Bubby. And sometimes even Dr. Coomer,” he smiles. He hopes he’s doing a good job of hiding it, but Gordon can still see the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly.

“You could come back, I suppose,” Dr. Freeman replies in a cautious tone.

Benrey’s head snaps up, and his cheeks flush. He can’t hide his excitement anymore. “You mean it?”

Gordon shrugs. “As you said, I’m a head scientist. I don’t report to anyone. No one can tell me to put you back in the tube.”

“I don’t wanna go back in the tube.”

Dr. Freeman shakes his head, smiling to himself now as well. “You don’t have to go back in the tube. And besides, I’m not actually sure I could fill it back up anyway.”

Benrey laughs, just a little bit, before the tone turns serious again.

“I really am sorry, Benrey.” Gordon opens his mouth like he’s going to add more, but only the same words come out. “I’m sorry.”

Benrey shakes his head, looking down at the floor again. “I forgive you.”

The two sit in silence, smiling, not sure of what to say. Eventually, Gordon stands up. Benrey watches as he bends his arm at the elbow, offering it to Benrey. Benrey stands up and links his arm through Gordon’s, and together they walk through the metal doors and out into the hallway. They don’t say much, but they smile, and it is the first time Gordon has been able to breathe in months.

__________________________________________

“Can I shoot the gun?”

“No, you may not shoot the gun!” Gordon protests, trying to pry Benrey’s hand off of his arm.

“I’m going to shoot the gun.”

Gordon watches in horror as Benrey somehow manages to make his gun-arm shoot at the floor, creating an explosion of tile pieces and smoke. The aftermath is a hole in the floor, threatening to crumble into a bigger sinkhole and take this hallway down to the level below it.

“Bro, why’d you do that?” Benrey exclaims, letting go of Gordon and moving as far away from him as possible.

Through gritted teeth, Gordon mumbles, “You piece of shit.”

#hlvrai #benrey #gordon freeman #hlvrai benrey #writing #headcanon

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lakesandquarries · 4 years ago

Text

Jump the Fence Part One: Something Out Of Nothing

chapter one: started with a big bang

summary: Post Black Mesa, things get weird. Well, weirder. The Science Team is back, but it's not just them, and Gordon has to learn how to readjust.

notes: series title from “jump the fence” by mother mother, chapter and fic title from “infinitesimal” by mother mother. this is part one of a four part fic and should be about 3 chapters. maybe.

AO3 Link

Gordon wakes up on his couch, face pressed against the cushions. He’s sore in places he didn’t know existed and exhausted in a way that goes past physical, but mainly he’s confused. For a moment he just lies there, staring at the dark brown fabric of his couch, appreciating the fact that he’s alive. It’s only when he tries to sit up that he realizes things are off.

His hand is missing, replaced by a prosthetic. An admittedly cool looking one, sleek and orange, but - that wasn’t supposed to be real. It was all just a game - or a dream? His VR stuff is nowhere to be seen, and he did essentially just wake up. So why the fuck is he missing a hand now?

A sharp buzz interrupts his thoughts. His phone is on the coffee table next to him, ringing loudly. Gordon lets out a goran, rolling over to grab at it as it screams at him. The caller ID just says “Unknown.” Never a good sign.

“Fuck it,” he says out loud, and answers the call. “Hello?”

“Hello, Gordon!” A familiar voice says, and for a second Gordon thinks he might cry.

“Dr. - Dr. Coomer? Is that you?”

“Indeed it is!” Coomer responds.

“Holy shit,” Gordon says. “Holy shit.”

“I completely agree,” Coomer says, and in the background Gordon can hear other muffled voices.

“Is - is that Bubby?”

“Yes! Tommy is here as well, along with Sunkist!”

“Can you put me on speaker?”

There’s silence, followed by a very muffled conversation where Gordon can just make out Tommy’s voice.

“Mr. Freeman?”

“Tommy!”

“I’m here too, you know,” Bubby cuts in, and there’s a bark in the background.

“It’s so good to hear you guys,” Gordon says, and he means it. He’s smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt.

“I’m very glad to hear you as well, Gordon. However there’s a few things I must ask you! First of all, where are you right now?” Dr. Coomer asks.

“Uh, my apartment. Why?”

“Do you have a car?” Bubby asks.

“Yeah.”

“We may need some assistance,” Dr. Coomer continues. “For you see, we are all still in Black Mesa!”

“What’s left of it, at least,” Bubby grumbles.

“What do you mean?” Gordon asks, running his hand through his hair. Oh, that feels weird with the prosthetic.

“It’s real fucked up,” Bubby says, which explains absolutely nothing.

“It looks like it got hit by the Tri-State Tornado of 1925,” Tommy says, which also explains nothing.

“The most "extreme" tornado in recorded history was the Tri-State Tornado , which spread through parts of Missouri , Illinois , and Indiana on March 18, 1925. It is considered an F5 on the Fujita Scale , even though -”

“Cool, got it, thank you Dr. Coomer.” God, he missed them. Granted, he’s only been apart from them for like ten minutes, but that was ten minutes where he thought he would never see them again. “Right, okay, do you guys need me to come get you?” Oh, fuck, are they gonna need somewhere to stay?” With the initial excitement of hearing his friends fading, Gordon is starting to realize the actual logistics of this. Three entire people have apparently sprung into existence in a place that doesn’t exist. Plus a dog. Where are they gonna stay?

“I don’t wanna be here a second longer than I have to,” Bubby says. “How the hell did you get to wake up somewhere new while we’re all stuck in this shit hole?”

You’re not real, Gordon thinks but doesn’t say. “I dunno, man.” He puts his own phone on speaker, opening the maps app. How the fuck is he gonna find a place that doesn’t exist?

Except when he opens the app it shows him places he has saved. Right under Home is Work, and work is apparently located at “Black Mesa Research Facility”.

“What the fuck,” he says.

“What?” Tommy asks. “Is something wrong, Mr. Freeman?”

“Everything’s fine,” Gordon says. He doesn’t wanna reveal anything to them, not yet at least. That's not a conversation to have over the phone. “I’ll be there in 20, okay? I’m gonna hang up while I drive but call if - if anything happens. I’ll be there soon.”

“We’ll see you then, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer says, and with an echoing bye from the three of them, he hangs up.

---

He spends the drive over having a mild panic attack. The route feels at once new and familiar, roads he recognizes moving in ways that feel just a little off. Even the music on the radio seems weird, though that might just be his imagination - he doesn’t actually listen to the radio that often.

Black Mesa isn’t a far drive. Gordon can imagine working there, picking an apartment based on location, commuting everyday. But Black Mesa isn’t real . Or, it wasn’t, until today. Because regardless of what he remembers, he pulls into the parking lot and the building is right there.

He understands what the Science Team was talking about, now. The glass windows are all shattered, the door completely smashed. He carefully picks his way inside, avoiding especially large shards, and the front desk has been crushed by a fallen chunk of ceiling.

He opens his phone and redials Dr. Coomer’s number, hoping for a quick response. He picks up almost instantly. “Hello, Gordon!”

“I’m here! I’m in the front lobby, I think? The aboveground part. Where are you guys?”

“We’re in the main building! I suppose it would be easier for us to come to you, though, wouldn’t it, Gordon?”

“I really do not wanna go any deeper into this place,” Gordon admits. Coomer chuckles.

“I don’t blame you! Well, we’ll start trying to find our way up. Don’t go anywhere!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Gordon says, and he hangs up again.

He does a little exploring as he waits for the Science Team, wandering around the remains of the lobby. The ceiling has almost completely caved in, but he manages to find a small waiting area that's semi-intact, with one chair left miraculously unscathed. He takes a seat, looking over the assorted magazines left on the table. A couple he even recognizes. He flips through them quickly, and quite a few reference Black Mesa, mentioning their research in fields from genetic engineering to theoretical physics. Apparently the experiment that got them attention in the first place was a successful sheep cloning done decades ago, and that got them enough funding to branch out into other things.

What the fuck.

Well, no one’s here anymore. Can’t hurt if he just...takes them.

It’s then that he hears voices, distant and indistinct, but Gordon knows his friends well enough by now. He scoops up the magazines and starts heading towards the noise, grabbing the handle to the stairwell just as Coomer pulls it open. Gordon’s pulled with it, colliding with Coomer’s burly chest.

“Hello, Gordon!” Coomer says, wrapping him up in a hug.

“Hi Dr. Coomer,” Gordon wheezes as Coomer’s arms squeeze all the air out of him. He finally releases Gordon, who has to take a second and lean against the wall to get his breath back. Tommy pats him on the shoulder. “Thanks, man,” he says. Tommy beams at him. “Fuck. Okay. It’s good to see you guys again,” Gordon says, some of the tension leaving his shoulders for the first time since he woke up. “Whadya say we get out of here?”

“Please,” Bubby says.

Gordon leads them to the car. Tommy calls shotgun as soon as they step outside, which Gordon is happy to oblige, and soon enough they’re on the road.

“So, I’m not gonna have space in my apartment for everyone to stay. What do you guys think of getting a hotel?”

“We don’t have any money, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy says, turning his pockets inside out.

“It’s cool, I figured I’d cover it.” He doesn’t really have the money for this but it’s fine. It’s fine! He’ll work something out.

There’s a pretty decent hotel a couple blocks from his apartment. Gordon had stayed there once when the electricity got all fucked up and couldn’t get fixed for a week, and for a few dudes who have presumably lived in Black Mesa their whole lives it’s probably gonna seem amazing .

“They better have a hot tub,” Bubby says from the backseat. Gordon glances in the rearview mirror to see him scrunched up sideways in the middle seat, leaning against Coomer. Neither of them have their seat belts on, though somehow Sunkist does.

“Guys, come on. Wear your seatbelts.” He waits until he hears the click to keep talking. “I’m pretty sure they have one. Shit, maybe I’ll stay with you guys too. Be nicer than my apartment.”

“Uh, Mr. Freeman?”

Gordon risks a glance at the passenger seat. Tommy’s staring intently at his phone, propeller hat spinning slowly. “Whats up?”

“My dad just messaged me,” Tommy says. Gordon almost considers pulling over and demanding to see the texts. “He, uh, he said I can come stay with him?”

“I thought you were an orphan?” Bubby asks, leaning forward and grabbing onto Gordon’s seat.

“It’s complicated,” Tommy says. “But, uh, if you guys wanna come stay too, I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

Bubby makes a thoughtful noise. “Wait, is your dad the weird guy in the suit who was at Chuck E Cheese? Fuck no, I’m not staying with him.”

“I’d like to stay with Bubby,” Coomer says.

“Okay, well, I’ll guess we’ll...split up, then. Coomer and Bubby can get a hotel, Tommy stays with his dad, I go home.”

“We’ll see each other again though, right?” Tommy asks, eyebrows furrowed.

Gordon and Coomer both say “Of course!” at the exact same moment. Gordon keeps one hand on the wheel as he reaches over to Tommy and rests the other on his knee. “You guys are stuck with me whether you like it or not. Science Team stays together.”

Tommy pats his hand, and doesn’t say anything else as they pull into the parking lot of the Los Gatos Garden Inn. The four of them shuffle into the lobby, Sunkist staying in the car - windows rolled down, of course. Tommy and Coomer immediately get distracted by the tourist brochures, even though most of them advertise places a long drive from where they are. Bubby, at least, is being helpful. Sorta.

“Just so you know, we only have singles available right now. That’s a room with just one bed,” the receptionist informs them.

Gordon turns to Bubby. “You and Coomer gonna be okay with that?”

Bubby hunches his shoulders up. “I can sleep on the floor if I have to,” he says.

“If you insist.”

Gordon books it. It’s not as bad as he was worried it would be, but still, he has a need to check his bank account. To his surprise, when he opens his banking app, he’s informed that he has nearly a million dollars that were just deposited. Clicking the deposit gives him no useful information, the source being a string of glitched out text.

Okay. Sure. Fine! Why not.

Bubby’s eyeing him strangely, like he wants to ask something, but Gordon ignores him. “Okay! Coomer, Bubby, you guys are set. Do you, uh...need anything?” Oh, shit, they don’t have any stuff, do they? Everything they owned is probably still in Black Mesa, if it even existed in the first place. “Do we need to go shopping?”

Bubby picks up the collar of his lab coat, sniffs it, and recoils. “Yes, we do.”

“Alright. Let’s fucking…go to Target, I guess?”

---

Wrangling the three of them through Target may actually be harder than getting through Black Mesa. It feels like every second someone is wandering off, getting sidetracked by something. First it’s Bubby insisting he needs some space suit pajamas, then Tommy discovering the toys section, then Coomer harassing some random employee he somehow mistook for Gordon. At least Sunkist is behaving. She doesn’t have a leash, but she stays near Tommy anyway and doesn’t run off once.

“Guys, we do not need all this,” Gordon says as Tommy stacks a third 12-pack of soda in the cart. “We’re just getting the essentials. Some clothing, toothbrushes, that sorta thing. Okay?”

He feels like he’s aged several years by the time they make it out. But they’re out, and Gordon’s bank still says it has a ridiculous amount of money, and they have everything they could need for the next while, so. Gordon’s feeling confident. He drops Bubby and Coomer off at the hotel, helping them carry everything inside. They’ll be okay there. It’s one of those hotels you can basically live in long term, with a minikitchen and everything. He wonders how the single bed is gonna go.

Well, not his problem.

“Alright, next up is to take you to your dad’s, right?”

Tommy nods, buckling his seatbelt, then rattles off the address. Gordon plugs it into his gps. It’s barely ten minutes from his apartment.

Gordon’s running out of things to say, but Tommy seems content with the silence. They’ve never really gotten to have a peaceful quiet like this. In Black Mesa quiet moments never lasted very long, and the day has been extremely hectic. It’s not until Gordon is pulling up to Tommy’s house that he feels the need to speak.

“Holy shit , dude. Your dad lives in a fucking mansion. Why were you staying in the Black Mesa dorms?”

“I-it’s company policy, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy says, wringing his hands together. Gordon doesn’t press. Probably didn’t exist in the game - though in that case, how does it exist now?

He can worry later. Tommy’s getting out of the car, and Gordon offers to help him carry stuff but Tommy assures him he’s fine. Gordon’s glad, to tell the truth - he doesn’t wanna risk interacting with G-Man again.

“I’ll see you later, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy says as he waves goodbye, and Sunkist gives a single farewell bark.

“See ya soon, Tommy,” Gordon says, and he drives off.

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #gordon feetman #tommy coolatta #bubby bubby #dr coomer #idk how to tag!#cora writes #jump the fence #something out of nothing

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newtafterdark · 4 years ago

Text

Taste of Metal - Chapter 12: Turning up the Volume - [AO3 LINK]

The song Gordon is singing in this chapter is "I Hate to Dance" by Mustasch! Click here to listen to it!

PS: The alternative title for this chapter: "Gordon Goes Apeshit In A Healthy Way!! YEAH!! >:D"

- - - It was always something else to hear how your voice sounded like to everyone but yourself.

Gordon had been used to it for a long time, mostly thanks to the years he recorded music with his band, but seeing his new friends react to his recorded songs made him pause a bit in thought.

When he and Newton had founded “Black Velvet Rabbits” together, both of their voices were still in the middle of their second puberty. Uneven, scratchy at times… and by far not as resilient as they wanted them to be.

That didn’t mean it stopped either of them from putting their heart and soul into every song they played. It made their first few tapes rough to listen to, but Gordon felt a huge amount of fondness for them regardless.

All their frustration with their lives, the school system, society, their bodies, their struggles with ADHD and BPD respectively- it all went into their music.

It was the sound of desperately struggling youths doing anything they could in their limited power to be heard.

Gordon was well aware that some of their former bandmates thought back to BVR and rolled their eyes at their gigs and “rockstar dreams”. He himself though? He was proud. Both of himself and Newton. Proud of having this tangible proof that they got through one of the hardest times of their lives together, doing something that they had put together with no outside help, with no overbearing parental figures forcing them to succeed. They created music because it was the one thing they had complete control over… and it had been absolutely intoxicating and freeing at the same time.

Even now, as their old recordings played in the background, Gordon found himself gently swaying side to side to the tempo of the tune, humming softly along as he was sorting through the remaining contents of the boxes on the floor.

He looked up from his spot, smiling fondly at Bubby letting out a cry of joy when he recognized another classic rock song that BVR had recorded a cover of.

“Your band might sound like absolute ass but at least they had taste!”, he exclaimed, drumming happily along to the beat on the floor beside Gordon.

“Yeah… our sound quality wasn’t the greatest until… 2014, I think? ”, Gordon pondered out loud. “You’ll notice the change instantly though! Around that time we also actually figured out in which direction we wanted to take our style as well. Took us a while, I know, but… good things take time!”

Speaking of good things taking time- the construction of the pocket dimension within the storage closet seemed to be going nice and steady by the looks of it.

Every time the doors opened and Tommy stepped out to take a small break, Gordon couldn’t help trying to catch a glimpse inside, which kept earning him a loud “NO PEAKING!” from Tommy- only for him to hear it echoed by Dr Coomer, Benrey and Joshua seconds later.

When eventually each member of the Science Team joined Tommy to help out with the closet, Gordon let himself be focused on his sorting task, Sunkist laying beside him as his only company for the time being.

“Guess it’s only the two of us for a bit, huh?”, he said, giving the huge dog a few loving pats on her side. Sunkist let out an affirmative woof and rested her head on Gordon’s thigh, earning a smile from Gordon.

He resumed swaying along to a new tune starting to play on the stereo, now allowing himself to add a few more subtle movements as well.

He found himself nodding along to the rhythm, his long wavy hair swaying in a way it hadn’t in a very long time.

As the side of his right foot began to gently tap against the floor as well, Sunkist got up and pushed her head against Gordon’s shoulder.

Gordon stared at her for a moment, unsure of what she expected him to do, but as the golden retriever started to gently dig into the carpet surprisingly in tune with the beat, something clicked in Gordon’s head.

He scrambled to get up on his feet, laughed as Sunkist let out a happy bark and started running excited circles around him when he started tapping his foot again.

It had been a while… but no one was in the room right now to judge him. And Sunkist, being the perfect and most supportive dog, would never make him feel guilty about any of this.

He looked down to his tapping feet, his hand closed into a fist as he assembles the old courage and opened his mouth-

“♫ I ain't a boring barfly…so please don't get me wrong, oh- Come on! Yeah, come on! I've been saying this for. Far. Too. LooooOOOONG!! ♪”

Gordon felt himself smile as he raised his voice, mirroring the energy of the younger version of it coming from the speakers.

As he moved his hips and head in rhythm to the beat of the tune, he leaned down towards Sunkist and decided at the moment that, hey, she might be the best audience he had in years - might as well sing for the best girl!

She positively bounced excitedly around Gordon’s feet as the man himself started to jump along with her and the music-

“♪ I haaaate to disappoint you! I'm not the guy you need- so, feel freeee! You can leeeeave! ‘Cause I'll nEVER SWING LIKE A MONKEY FROM. THE. TREEEEES! ♫”

Sunkist let out a loud approving bark at the sound of Gordon letting himself be loud, but this time fully because of joy, nothing like the pained and frustrated yelling he had done all throughout the simulation.

This was how Gordon was supposed to sound like. Loud, happy and confident-

“♪ It’s of great importance! This is what yOU. ALL. SHOULD. DOOOOO- ♫”

The possibility of complaining neighbours be damned, Gordon rushed over to this stereo and turned the volume significantly up, still mindful of Sunkist being in the room with him. No matter how perfect Tommy made her, Gordon really didn’t want to accidentally hurt her hearing.

He returned to moving around the living room, his steps becoming confident stomping as he basically had Sunkist follow his path between the furniture at this point. He ran his hand through his hair, letting the majority of it fall over the right side of his head, showing off the remainder of his undercut on the left in the process-

“♫ BANG YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF, JUST DO IT!! STOMP YOUR FEET AND CLAP YOUR H-HANDS-!! ♪”

He roughly brushed away a barely formed tear from his right eye, opting to stomp his feet in place of clapping his hands to the beat. He wouldn’t let his pain and trauma cut this moment short. Singing had been his outlet for all his frustrations before, why shouldn’t he try and find out if it would still hold up with the new struggles he was facing?

“♫ I AM A HEAVY METAL GROOVER! - BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! ♪”

Sunkist affectionately pressed herself against Gordon’s side, sensing the man’s wild mix of emotions running through his head. Gordon opted to give Sunkist’s back a pat to assure her that he was doing okay. That he needed to do this. To let this all out.

He took a deep breath-

“♪ So take me away from the dance floor- Nemo saltat sobrius - Well, that's right... fucking right. I've been telling you for far too looooooOOOONG! ♫”

He closed his eyes, his focus now only on putting as much emphasis on the words as he could. As he used to. As Gordon Martini Freeman of the “Black Velvet Rabbits” had been known for.

“♫ I haaaate to disappoint you! But I'm not the guy you need- You can leeeeave, ‘cause to meee- DISCO. DIED. IN. 1983!! ♪”

He spread his arms, his head slightly falling back and his hair following suit… and he could almost feel the comforting heat of spotlights on his skin once more-

“♪ It’s of great importance! This is what yOU. ALL. SHOULD. DOOOOO!- ♫”

He bent back forward, letting himself go off into a poorly executed guitar solo as he headbanged to the beat, his hair flying back and forth, side to side-

“♫ BANG YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF, JUST DO IT!! STOMP YOUR FEET AND CLAP YOUR HANDS-!! I AM A HEAVY METAL GROOVER! - BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! BANG YOUR HEAD ‘CAUSE I HATE TO DANCE! - BANG THE HEAD THAT DOESN’T BANG!!~ ♪”

Gordon stood there for a moment, out of breath, hair wild and messy, chest heaving and eyes blown wide. He was only pulled back into reality from his post-rockout brain by Sunkist jumping up on him and licking his face-

“Hahaha!! Yeah, this was fun, wasn’t it, big girl?! Thanks for the encouragement, Sunkist. I mean it. I… really needed that.”

He hugged her close before gently letting her get back on all fours, smiling as she let out a soft bark and pressed herself against his side once more, her tail wagging happily-

“Well, I’ll be damned. Sounds like you don’t sound like ass anymore after all!”

Gordon spun around, instantly locking eyes with Bubby, who was leaning against the frame of the closet, arms crossed and a smug smile on his face.

“H-How much of that did you-”

“I heard enough to know that my eardrums can stand the sound of it.”, Bubby answered, “You don’t sound half bad. Obviously out of practice, but… not awful.”

Gordon scratched the back of his neck, trying to process the rare compliment coming from the older scientist.

“Uh… thanks? A-ANYWAY- how’s the pocket dimension going?”, he quickly added to move the topic elsewhere.

Bubby rolled his eyes at Gordon's obvious deflection.

“It could go way faster in my opinion! But the hallway and the basic rooms are stable now. I won’t invite you in without the others agreeing on it too, but… it’s nice. Having your own space to do with as you please, as barren as it might be at the moment-”

In the time Bubby had spoken, Gordon had walked over to him, now resting his hand on the smaller man’s shoulder.

“Hey, I might not have the biggest savings, but that won’t stop me from helping you guys find stuff for your space, okay? I know a few places we could visit sometime this week! But… first I do want to go shopping with you all to let you pick stuff for your wardrobes!”

Bubby stared up to him, a slightly startled look on his face.

“You’ll… let us… pick?”

Gordon smiled softly, hoping it looked reassuring.

“Of course! As long as you all don’t get me into the reds with your purchases, you are free to pick as many things as you want, now that you all have your own space. Honestly… go wild! Did- Do you think I’d limit you? Bubby, you guys are my friends! If anything, I wholeheartedly encourage you to get lost for hours in the nearby thrift stores and find your own style- HURGH!-

Gordon found himself pulled into a tight hug- which only lasted for two seconds.

As Bubby pulled back, he looked away, brows furrowed.

“Thanks. You- you don’t get how much this means to- ...thank you, Gordon.”

“You’re welcome. Uh… should I go get us some food for when you guys are done or-”

“GOD! YES! Fuck off before this moment gets even more awkward!”, Bubby exclaimed with frustration, a hint of a smile tugging on the edge of his mouth.

Gordon threw up his hand in mock defence, not even trying to hide his grin.

#hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai bubby #hlvrai sunkist #metalhead gordon au #fanfic #fanfics #rocking out to metal is one of the healthiest coping mechanisms #also absolutely ALL COMFORT STIMMING

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cryptidshuffle · 4 years ago

Text

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke? For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately. ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn��t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

#fanfic #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #freelatta

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spiderh0rse · 7 months ago

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stark's mind notes part 3, e11-15

e11

he'll have to deal with... Being an imposter........ (amindgus au...)

yeah the whistleblowing thing! Makes sense with how lax Black Mesa's safety is

has food RIGHT in front of him and decides to NOT eat any (crumbs on suit gloves + climbing) but is willing to drink something

aghast at the lasers but has no other options so he Does touch them

doesn't consider himself a guessing man

wastes five grenades trying to bounce grenades off a wall and into a turret

gets shot somewhere he could feel it

unsurprised but dismayed at the rescue team being dead

the fire doors are too loud for him. Worse than the one at his house

fire alarms make him want to set everything on fire

bad baseball one liner <3

very interested as to how the side effects of teleportation effect the world outside the moved matter

lands a grenade bounce!

apologizes to two scientists about how loud the alarm is

Colleague.

doesn't understand why the military is making their announcements so intimidating

Breen may not know that Stark's the one that caused some problems a while back. If he is, Stark may be in some manner of trouble

doesn't understand what he's seeing when a marine kills a scientist. Backs up.

sits down and tries to think about all that.

trips over his words a lot when witnessing that!

e12

despairing and trying to convince himself Nothing Wrong Happened

does Not want to confront the marine.

startled at the loud noise of the door

does warn the soldier that he'll shoot back if shot at

insults the Marine's corpse and keeps thinking straight. Avoiding blood on his suit because if the rest of the rescue team is more rational then blood will be highly suspect

KEEPS insulting the dead marine

he is now a scientist equipped with a submachine gun!

not too hopeful about thinking the best of the situation working

pessimism active basically

Both ears now hit with bullets!

grenade in close proximity bothering him (ears, he shakes himself off)

considers himself a domestic terrorist in the eyes of the law

now considers the military entirely incompetent

sarcastic fellow

doesn't pay any mind to the SAD order over the intercoms

trips and falls off some boxes but otherwise is fine. Inner ear issues due to the close proximity explosion?

really really wishes he had a helmet

now covered in blood surrounded by the military and unsure how he's killing them all

pretty sure he's going to die

are his ears bleeding because they've been shot, exploded, or because he keeps firing a .38 without ear protection

yeah he just gets mad when he kills people!

THE INCREDIBLES REFERENCE

doesn't want to dwell on the whole not meant to be there thing. Thinks that'll lead him to his death

reasons that if he stops applying pressure he'll die

e13

wagers he's being a little overdramatic. Maybe.

hates Freeman for putting him in this situation

the elevator is not a good place to cower when being bombed, dude

the warning klaxon is irritating to him

the warehouse is Not empty, Vincent, you're in there. Isn't that enough reason to bomb the place?

convenient car placement at a convenient time!

has read some of Shakespeare's more prolific plays

tells himself to stop berating the soldiers and start figuring out how to stay alive

doesn't believe in luck

took archery classes when he was younger, attributes his hand-eye coordination to those

insulting the soldiers for not evacuating from the bombing site

not opposed to friendly fire if it benefits him

yells about the military deciding to bomb him because they can't kill him otherwise

shonen anime moments: 1

bookin it down that fan shaft! quick and coordinated lil dude!

not happy to be back in the facility but it's better than being bombed

"my auditory senses are thoroughly pleased" at. Silence! Yippee!

considers insanity slightly better than death if only because it isn't nonexistence

counts some headcrabs as he kills them. "this has been Natural Numbers with dr vincent stark" NERD

prefers the aliens over the soldiers

compliments some headcrabs on their sneakiness

hopes he never crosses a ninja.

thinks anything is on the table except survival

having an awful time getting into a vent

thinks he's justified in killing soldiers because they're killing civilians

does not object when someone says he's part of what caused the situation

asks a scientist to establish communication with others and direct them all to Lambda to work together.

leaves a gun with a lone scientist

bitter about the military not helping with the situation

thinks the entrance to Blast Pit is ominous

e14

not expecting anything new out of Blast Pit

thinks Breen got them all into this mess indirectly, and he'll be one of the ones to get them all Out of the mess

not entertaining the locked door

thanks a zombie for doing exactly what he tells it to do (walk into his line of fire)

presses a button on a whim. Recognizes he should not be doing this

makes a bad pun and promptly says he should shoot himself in the head for it

wishes he had a gps in the HEV suit or that if it DOES that he knows how to use it

"Mr. Box"

happy thinking! Can't get worse! Amends that it absolutely can but he's trying to not think about that

wishes he'd asked for a map. Where have I heard this before...

"first aid? I'm good!" YOUR EARS ARE BOTH BLEEDING

laughs at the train controls. Thinks it's pretty fast though

wonders how the houndeyes would taste when cooked. Squid or shrimp, maybe

inertia is a bitch isn't it

confused at the Green Glow

he is in SO much pain from jumping off a vehicle moving at a decent clip

something is better than nothing or pool of radiation

he is SO angry. Nosebleed. He is the embodiment of anger. ledge slightly out of reach :(

mad at Black Mesa for not repairing its broken shit

he could do without the toxic waste. It's bad for your everything.

curious at how old this part of the building is

tries to tell himself the giant pit of radioactive goop around the rocket test lab is not real. Fails.

"until I become suicidal or something I will just stand here and do nothing" Vince buddy look 17 notes up please

e15

he has not had food in a while. Last ate a day ago. He is so hungry.

not entirely sure of the passage of time

amazed at how fast shit has gone down the drain

fully expects to die by day three of the disaster with the rate of bullshit happening

oh this is kind of cool the visuals get a bit fuzzy as he enters the irradiated area! Ive seen cameras exposed to radiation that Is what it looks like

would name a novel about the last day "Eat Shit And Die: A Detailed Account of Vincent "I'm Goddamn Dead" Stark's Life, or How To Kickstart The Apocalypse Ft. Vincent "I Just Ended The Goddamn World" Stark" mouthful.

thinks the world would be justified in hating him

claims he's done enough running to qualify for the Olympics

sir youre still close enough to get irradiated

weird noiiiiiseeeee he's unhappppppyyyyy

land whales? vent sharks? what's next, air dolphins?

now considers calling the houndeyes "hamdogs" racist

he does Not want to enter the rocket silo. If he has to go in there he'll want to curl up into a ball

he is so American

shotgun Obtained

considers death and possible followup occurrences another dimension. Or he's just making a bad joke

"welcome to earth, where manners dictate if you live!"

Vincent your metaphor here is just a little nasty

once again pretty sure he's going to die

trying to shoot the tentacles. Figures out pretty quickly he can't really hurt it like that

his options are staying put or "charging into there like a suicidal idiot"

asks the guard if he has a pack of cards on hand

#stark's mind #vincent stark #mindverse #rmanotes

2 notes · View notes

testedtommyau · 4 years ago

Text

Tested Tommy Chapter 5: Act 1, scene 2 (part 1)

Warnings: Flashbacks, PTSD, panics, child ab/se in memories

Eyes lit up as the noise of keys in a lock was nearby, it was time for food. Tiny paw-like feet pattered to the bars of the cell, eager eyes waiting for the kind giant to give him something to consume. The large figure walked inside and placed the bowls on the ground, the little creature crawled forward, sniffing at the bowls.

“Gotta eat up, Tommy.”

Tommy.

They always referred to him as that, is it a sound to notify they were communicating with him? It didn’t matter at the time. He took the food from the bowl and sat down, eating with his hands. The cell door closed with the figure leaving, they never stayed with him for the food, it was rather lonely. He would like for someone to stay with him. Maybe one day.

The food as always was… bad. He didn’t want to be ungrateful, but it was BAD. The taste was like licking the floor. But he had to eat, or he got extreme pains in his tummy. The water was fine though, nice and cold and washed away the dreadful taste. ‘Tommy’ went back to the corner of the cell, tail curling up towards him to use as a pillow. He wanted someone there with him, it was very cold and lonely. Tommy closed his eyes and drifted back to what felt like eternal waiting.

“Here it is.”

Oh! More giants, does this mean more food? Or maybe one will stay. Tommy got up on his little feet and hurried over, spots lighting up to see the figures entering his cell. The tall figures were all in white, tilting his head he walked closer and curiously sniffed.

BLEH!

Tommy recoiled from the strong smell of whatever was on their outer layer of covering, it felt like something badly burned the inside of his nose.

“It has been with us for six years now.”

“Do you think it's strong enough to start?”

“Only one way to find out.”

One of the figures reached down and took Tommy’s hand, his big glowing eyes stared up at the giant and followed when it stood up and started walking. It was taking him out of the cell! Tommy’s tail swayed as he happily followed the giants that were kind enough to let him out, are they going to take him to a new home?

The area was huge, everything was so big and bright now. There were more giants exiting and going into movable holes in the walls. The one holding his hand took him further down the halls, down to a darker area with a few scattered lights. Tommy gazed up at the giants and was taken inside a room, he looked up at the room sign. 874.

Pointing up to the sign he made a little tune. The scientists stared in awe at the bubbles floating out his mouth, a couple of them popping against the sign.

“That’s number 874.” One of them answered. Tommy did not understand though, maybe later he’ll remember how that sounded and he’ll know in the future.

The room was scary, the giants there were more covered up then the ones that took him here. Their faces covered and like a blank screen. Tommy whimpered and hid behind one of the giant’s legs, hoping it’ll protect him. Instead they picked him up and walked closer to the figures. The little creature squirmed and tried to get away, only to be put onto a table and held there. He sang out more bubbles, the colours fading from greys to black. He wanted to go back, this place was scary, he didn’t want to be here.

“Okay, okay, listen we need to have a pow-wow.”

Tommy shook from his sleep as Gordon announced himself to be in need of conversation with everyone. Bubby and Coomer were already sitting up and alert, only with Bubby’s rather grumpy expression directed towards Gordon. He obviously did not want to be woken up just yet. Under Tommy’s arm was Benrey, still snoozing peacefully. Though he didn’t want to wake up the adorable sight he reluctantly shook Benrey awake.

“Wha…?”

“T-Time to w-wake up.”

Benrey groaned and moved up with a huff, helmet tilting over their face before Tommy moved it so it sat correctly on their head. They shared a smile before Gordon went on again about needing some ‘pow-wow’ with the group.

“Everybody sit around, gather around…”

“Mr F-Freeman d-d-don’t herd me like a… like a sheep in a f-f-farm.” Tommy snapped as he plonked himself down into the circle they had created. Gordon gulped quietly and nodded.

“Right, right.”

“I’d like to have a good ol’ yeehaw with you.”

They all looked over at Bubby for a moment.

“What the fuck does that even mean-Where’s the guard?” Gordon asked, Tommy worriedly looked at the spot beside him where Benrey once was which was now empty. The clanging on the other side however alerted them to Benrey’s whereabouts as they jumped up and sat on a barrel, looking rather proud of themselves.

“Do you have to sit on something…?”

Gordon’s voice trailed off as he self-admitted there was no point to questioning the ‘guard’s’ actions. He turned his attention back to the other three.

“We got to get you some more bullets. Oh, Tommy have you- have you ever fought or like, killed anything?”

Tommy stared at him silently for a moment. Gordon couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at his gaze. The stillness let him take in some extra depth of Tommy’s features, the scars on his face, a near invisible red line around his neck, the way his brows got closer together as he stared.

“Yes.” Was all he replied.

Tommy had to admit it was quite amusing to see the nervous shock in Gordon’s eyes.

“Um, you good at it…?”

Strange question, Tommy shrugged before he noticed a pigeon walking around on the floor.

“I c-c-can show y-you on that pigeon.”

Gordon’s nervous expression was replaced with one of confusion as he looked to see the pigeon that was indeed there.

“How did a pigeon get in here?” He asked Dr. Coomer and Bubby, but neither could provide an answer.

“So, y-you want me to kill i-it?” Tommy offered again. Gordon shook his head but before he could tell Tommy no he had already punched it so hard it broke its neck and it dropped dead on the ground. Gordon stared silently for a moment then back at Tommy.

“Okay uh, what about a gun? Should I give you a gun? Be easier then punching if we come across more of those… things.”

Tommy thought for a moment, it was a more tactical weapon for distanced kills without risking someone noticing his use of powers. As he was about to answer, Benrey started to sing sweet voice again, the balls of teal surrounding the pigeon in front of them.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“They’re hungry.” Tommy answered for them as Benrey kept singing. “T-teal mean, mean n-needs meal.”

“Okay uh, anyway Tommy I dunno if you can use a gun or not. You seem to not be processing what I say to you.”

Tommy felt heat boil up inside him again, he can understand perfectly! It’s this- this mere human ball of arrogant flesh that can’t comprehend that he is perfectly capable of such things. A loud siren-like tune interrupted Tommy’s mini internal rage as Benrey promptly shot the pigeon, blood splattering all over the ground.

“Was that a threat to us? In any way?”

Benrey ignored Gordon’s question and moved over to join the circle.

“Barney?”

What? That’s not their name.

“Wha?”

“T-that’s not their name.”

Tommy’s glare could be felt on Gordon’s neck, he was about to correct himself but another pigeon became victim to Benrey’s gunfire as blood splattered onto both of them.

“The fuck man!?”

Gordon stood up and brushed the blood off vest he could and let out an annoyed sigh. Turning on his heel he stormed off alone down the hall. Benrey visibly tucked their head into their collar nervously.

“Did I- did I fuck up bro?”

They looked over at Tommy who scooted closer and took Benrey’s hand into his, reassuring them that they didn’t do anything wrong.

“Guess we got to go follow the bitching babyman before he does something stupid.” Bubby grumbled, he got up and followed the direction Gordon went, Benrey, Tommy and Dr Coomer got up and joined to follow.

Benrey’s hand wrapped around Tommy’s, giving it a comforting squeeze. Their touch helped ground him as they walked. This place made him nervous, the walls of the facility too high and narrow, like a tunnel.

“All good bro?” Benrey asked, their eyes stared up at Tommy, a hint of worry in them. But as always their adoration shone through just from looking at Tommy. It made his heart swell to see how much the smaller alien cared for him.

“Yes, e-e-everything is o-okay.” He promised, he felt the other press against him and purr softly. Soft warmth radiating off them both as their arms looped together.

“Uh, nothin’ gonna hurt us, yeah?”

Benrey’s eyes were hopeful, little sparkles in the bright yellow of their undamaged eye filled with aspiration to start a new life. Tommy would ensure they get it; they deserve it more than anything. There was a soft touch of Benrey’s clawed hand against his cheek, their gentle thumb tracing along the line of freckles on his face. Eyes fluttered close as the two stood together, the world became still in each other’s company. Tommy’s hand met Benrey’s as he held it against his face, his breathing shook as the tenderness was becoming overwhelming from how badly he needed it. Benrey always knew how to help him.

Benrey was everything to him.

“Where the fuck are you even going?”

Tommy and Benrey looked over to where Bubby was nagging Gordon about which direction they should go. It was a fucking tunnel, no other places to go. Benrey piped up and told the group to go ‘this way’ which was just forward, but someone had to give some sense of direction, right?

They found the end of the tunnel led to a ledge connected to the next route; Benrey peaked at the metal bridge which led to yet another high drop below.

“Don’t look good bro, got uh, lil connecters ain’t lookin’ so strong. Probably weak as shit.” They muttered, moving back to press against Tommy.

It also didn’t help that a portal opened, and an alien popped up out of nowhere and fell onto the ledge, breaking it as it tumbled to its death and destroying their initial path. Well, at least Benrey was right on that it wasn’t very stable. Tommy quickly pulled Benrey out of the line of fire of whatever the fuck the alien spewed out while Gordon frantically checked if everyone was okay.

“Yep just… um.” Benrey wasn’t too sure what to do now, the ledge was gone, and the humans can’t just float to the other side. Maybe there was something below?

“This way. Let’s go.”

Gordon paused and looked at Tommy, who just gave him a small shrug and followed Benrey.

Benrey and Bubby took a peak down the ledge. Minus the walkway below, the pit looked bottomless. Definite instant death if one was to fall in.

“Oh no, no, no, no.”

Bubby backed away in fright from the mere sight of the drop, Benrey instead staring down with a look of awe.

Gordon’s eyes widened when he saw the two near the ledge and panicked.

“No! No! Benrey that’s so far down, please get back!” The fear in Gordon’s voice was noticeable, he was properly scared for Benrey being hurt as Bubby had already started to step away. Tommy knew a fall like that wouldn’t do much damage as they could float, but the worry in Gordon’s voice was a bit endearing. He had already risked himself to remove the headcrab and now Gordon was worrying over another stranger’s safety. Humans were strange.

“Right here to the test chamber!” With that, Benrey hops off and falls.

Gordon ran to the ledge to look down with a gasp, Tommy watched him and listened to his panicked breathing as if he expected a dead body to be splattered on the ground below. Knowing Benrey would be fine, Tommy climbed up the pipes and walked along them, he looked down to see Benrey had got up and left in the direction of the next door.

“Are you okay!?” Gordon called out.

“Right this way.”

And Benrey was off on their way again. Gordon only stared in stunned silence. At least they were okay. But now how the fuck were they going to re-group?

“Gordon are you coming or not?”

Startled, Gordon looked up to the ledge where Bubby was.

“How the fuck did you make that jump?”

Tommy continued walking across the pipes to get across, he felt Gordon’s eyes rest onto him as he kept going.

“Oh, Tommy’s got the right idea!”

Tommy pretended to not hear that, but he did feel a little fuzzy at the sort of compliment. Now to get back to Benrey, wherever the fuck they have ran off to.

“Hello Gordon!”

“Hello… Dr Coomer…! Oh my god…”

While listening to Gordon’s voice tiring out of re-greeting Dr Coomer, Tommy kept his eye on Benrey now that they’ve found them. His hand was wrapped around Benrey’s as he didn’t want them running off again. The room was strange to say the least, most peculiar was the boxes suspended in the air, what was the purpose of that? Tommy and Benrey looked at the ledge below them and it was an even BIGGER drop.

“D-Do we have to do this?” They could both hear the fear in Gordon’s voice.

Benrey didn’t bother answering and slipped from Tommy’s grip to jump onto one of the hanging boxes. Not wanting to leave Benrey to disappear again, Tommy quickly jumped onto a box. He tried not to look down, it was a pretty big drop.

A loud scream was heard behind him and Tommy spun around too fast, thinking Gordon was falling to his death. No, the human had landed on a ledge. But his focus was broken and the swinging of the boxes threw him off balance.

“Tommy!” Benrey called out as Tommy slipped and failed to grab the ledge.

“TOMMY!” Gordon almost foolishly ran off the ledge in an attempt to grab him, Tommy let out a scream as he fell into the darkness, out of sight.

Hurt.

Everything hurt.

Tommy was curled up in the corner, hugging his tail and shaking from the unbearable new feeling coursing through his body. He looked down at the fabric around his arm, it was tinted red with liquid that was spilled from his arm. Why did they do that? It hurt so much.

The doors open at the usual feeding time, he should go show the nice giant what happened. Maybe it would try and fix the pain. Tommy got up and hurried towards the giant, little squeaks coming from his mouth as he tried to call them over, showing the bandage on his arm.

The attempts were in vain however. The giant ignored Tommy and simply shoved the bowls into his cell, soon exiting and Tommy was once again alone. And in pain. With a whimper tears started to trickle down Tommy’s cheeks, the sting of rejection stronger than before. What was wrong with him? What did he do to make the giants hurt him?

He couldn’t bring himself to eat, he wasn’t hungry at the moment. Pushing his food away, Tommy went back to his corner, curling up and closed his eyes. Hoping this nightmare will end soon.

Tommy snapped his eyes open and stopped just before slamming into the ground, his body glowed as he levitated himself to his feet. Luckily, he was too far down to be seen by anyone, though they probably thought he was dead now. Minus Benrey of course. But now that he was alone without humans watching him. He could phase through the wall and get back up to the ledges, hopefully without being seen.

The sound of the group’s voices helped guide him back. He managed to phase out of the wall behind a crate and climb over it with his thin frame.

“Tommy!” Benrey rushed over and hugged him tightly. Tommy quickly returned the hug, holding Benrey close to his body. His eyes trailed over to Gordon as he caught his breath, the adrenaline seeming to subside from his system and a tired smile grew on his face when he saw Tommy was okay.

“Tommy? How did you make it back up?”

Shit, he had to come up with a reason that wasn’t ‘I went into the wall and came up through the wall.’

“It’s, like a big slide! I just uh… I-I l-looped around and c-came back up.”

That was totally believable, right?

“Um… sure, sure.”

That didn’t sound like he was convinced, but it’ll have to do.

Benrey’s ears twitched under the helmet, the elevator noises were rather annoying. They fiddled nervously with their vest as the others waited. Bubby looked over to Benrey and gave them a pat on the back, they looked over and gave him a smile but it soon faltered back to a frown.

Bubby turned over to Tommy and grabbed his sleeve, Tommy flinched back with a glare but noticed Benrey gripping at their sleeve. Their eyes wide and darting around the elevator. Dr Coomer and Bubby walked around to Gordon, his back turned to Benrey and Tommy luckily as Tommy held them close, feeling their body shivering.

“H-Hey, what’s w-w-wrong.” Tommy whispered into Benrey’s ear, the smaller alien buried their face into his chest, skin turning a deeper shade of blue as they sniffled.

“What’s going on?” Gordon asked, before he could turn around Bubby pulled out his gun, pointing it at Gordon. Tommy’s eyes darted to the sight, watching Bubby try to distract Gordon while he attempted to quickly soothe Benrey. Gordon may know Benrey isn’t human, but he’s seen the cruelty that comes out of humans when they face Benrey’s body morphs, the last thing they need is someone making them feel worse for being upset. Tommy could feel their skin stretch as more eyes popped up, he looed down and saw two sets of faces warp out as they shook in his hold.

“Shh shh, y-y-you’re okay, i-it’s okay…”

“Can you, not point your gun at me?” Gordon asked, it was at least keeping him occupied.

Benrey’s claws grew as they clung to Tommy, his own hands soothingly stroked Benrey’s back.

“W-w-we’ll be out soon… I p-promise…”

“Don’t… don’t like the… the, the moving boxes… Never w-went to good places.” Benrey muttered under their breath, Tommy’s hold around Benrey tightened, his eyes flashed for a second of gold.

“N-No, we’re not, no going there…” He reassured, Benrey started to calm down.

“Could you not point that at me!?” Gordon repeated, Bubby kept a stern blank face at the man.

“I’m not pointing it at you, I’m just, indicating that I have a gun.”

Bubby looked over to Benrey and Tommy, the morphing seemed to be nearing its end.

“and you should continue looking at me.”

“This seems like a weird threat…”

Tommy focused back onto Benrey, he moved the helmet up and ran his fingers through Benrey’s hair. It was a quick soothing spot for them, closing their eyes they started to purr. Their skin returned to a pale blue and the warping stopped. Tears were still running down their face but that was okay, Tommy softly kissed them away.

“Want off…”

“I-I know, we’ll, we’ll be off here s-s-soon. Sooner then uh, then a slice of cheese m-melting in a fire.”

Benrey chuckled at Tommy’s words, they sniffed and wiped their tears as the elevator dinged when they reached the wanted floor. At least that was finally over.

“Another soda spiller!”

“What the fuck did you just call it?” Gordon asked, Benrey looked at him and repeated ‘soda spiller’. Before he could question that any further, he could see a ‘rope’ hanging from a gap in the ceiling. He peaked above and shot the barnacle, its guts spilling onto the floor.

“Alright time for more soda!”

Gordon smashed the vending machine and the drinks spilled out of it, the gang hurrying past him to engulf in the drinks, making ungodly slurping sounds once again. Benrey noticed a little bug crawling on the machine and picked it up, they inspected it for a minute then tossed it into their mouth with a loud crunch.

“Ew no don’t eat the spiders!” Gordon yelled, Benrey ignored him and kept crunching it much to Gordon’s disgust. Tommy picked up a few extra cans and walked over to Benrey, the two sat down on a table and drank at their soda. The cafeteria was… interesting, one of the few rooms that he doesn’t remember entirely despising. It had a few nice smells to go with it but now it was mixed with destruction and alien guts, though it wasn’t like the original was something to praise at. Benrey pulled out a packet of crisps that they snagged from the broken machine, munching on it and leaning against Tommy’s arm. He felt Benrey’s hand wrap around his own, it felt nice as always. Fingers intertwined as Tommy rested his head on top of Benrey’s helmet, closing his eyes.

“Tommy?”

Tommy looked over to the cell bars, recognising that this sound is directed towards him. Though he does not want to go towards them. Last time he did it ended in pain; he didn’t want to feel that again.

“C’mon boy, over here.”

The giant knelt down and held its hand out, offering its touch. Tommy eyed the hand suspiciously, what if it takes him to another place of pain? But in the giant’s hand was something, new? Tommy curiously walked over and sniffed at the object; it was wonderful. It smelt like something he could give a try. Nothing like the garbage he was eating before. He snatched up the object and bit it, it crumbled in his mouth and provided a jolt of pleasant taste in his mouth.

“You like the cookie, Tommy?”

Cookie. Is that what this thing was? Tommy looked up at the giant, crumbs on his mouth.

“Cookie?” the giant repeated. Tommy stared up at it and kept biting at the… ‘cookie’.

The giant held out its hand again and now Tommy took its hand, being led out of the room and given another cookie.

Tommy cried in the corner; he was fooled again. The pain surged through his leg as he shivered. What did he do so wrong to make them so angry to hurt him?

Tommy shivered as fresh tears fell from his cheeks.

Please make it stop.

Please make them stop.

Please take the pain away.

Please.

“Please stop running into those!!”

Tommy jolted from his thoughts; Bubby fell to the ground coughing horribly as Gordon shot at a barnacle which had attempted to eat him. He watched Gordon rush to Bubby’s side and attempt to clean off the gunk off the grumpy old man’s clothes. Tommy chuckled quietly as he watched Gordon chase after Bubby.

“Look Gordon! A rope!”

Benrey tapped Tommy’s arm and pointed up as Dr Coomer was swooped up by a ‘rope’.

“HELP ME GORDON!”

“STOP RUNNING INTO-THEY’RE NOT ROPES!!” Gordon cried out, his gun made quick work of the alien and Dr Coomer dropped down as if nothing had happened.

“Look, Gordon, a rope!” he repeated.

“You guys are fucking scientists!! Use your reasoning!?”

Tommy could hear the frustration growing in his tone. His heart sped up as he watched the human’s face grow red with anger, like he’s close to snapping. Tommy squeezed Benrey’s hand, he could handle it easy. But seeing a scientist get mad never ended well.

Benrey noticed Tommy’s discomfort and stood up, gently tugging him away while Gordon continued his snapping match.

Benrey and Tommy found a hallway to themselves, though it probably wouldn’t be long before the others caught up again but, in the moment, they could be alone quietly. Another flock of birds cooed in their presence, flapping their wings and moving out of their way.

“A-a-are you okay? Y-you were rather upset earlier.” Tommy asked, his hand still in Benrey’s.

“Yeah bro I’m uh, all good now, just dumb head sights ya know?”

Tommy could see Benrey was still bothered by it, he wished he could make it all better. That now they were finally out the pain will instantly leave. But it seemed that was not how the world worked unfortunately. The pair were still suffering, Benrey was still dealing with random episodes that freak them out. It wasn’t fair.

Tommy looked at Benrey’s eyes, at least one thing he knew would always be okay is how Benrey made him feel, he pulled them closer and gave Benrey a soft kiss on the lips. Benrey smiled against him and stared into his eyes when they pulled away. Tommy took Benrey’s face into his hands, thumbs stroking across their cheeks. He needed to ensure they were there with him, that they knew he was there for them. Benrey closed their eyes as Tommy traced a line over one of Benrey’s scars on their lips, he placed a gentle kiss upon it.

“God there’s so many birds!”

Tommy and Benrey jumped away from each other in surprise as Gordon climbed down to the room they were in; the moment was nice while it lasted.

“Did we have like uh, like a bank of birds in black mesa?” Gordon asked, looking towards Tommy and Benrey. Bubby muttered ‘what the hell?’ while the other two shrugged.

“Are these like, test animals?”

It was a perfectly fine question to ask, he’s probably right as well. But Tommy felt his heart stop for a moment at the mention of tests despite them not being directed towards him.

“W-w-where you c-c-conducting experiments? Ma-maybe they got loose.”

Tommy looked down at the birds, Bubby and Benrey making quick work of shooting them dead.

“What? No, I didn’t know about any of this.” Gordon replied, he stood by Tommy watching the bloodbath in front of him.

“Were you in the bird division doing any bird tests?”

“NO!”

The NERVE of that Freeman! Even considering that he would ever do such a thing, death was one thing. But the life of experiments!?

Gordon could see the anger in Tommy’s eyes and backed away.

“Then what are they doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

The gunshots finally got to Gordon as he snapped. “Why are you killing them!? They’re just birds!”

Benrey stopped firing for a moment and looked over to Gordon, Dr Coomer inspected the carnage and spoke up.

“We could cook and eat these for food, Gordon!”

“Right so we’re going to eat them? That’s the only acceptable excuse for this!”

“They shouldn’t be here.” Benrey interrupted and went back to their shooting.

“Didn’ let them in.”

Tommy watched the last bird fall to the ground in blood, Gordon’s face still stunned in horror.

“Right this way.” Benrey said as they moved down the hallway.

Gordon let out a yell of terror, Tommy looked down where Gordon fell, and the turret was firing at him. That was a rather valid reason to be screaming. Benrey grabbed Tommy’s hand and jumped down behind a crate, Gordon already seeking shelter at the next point while it kept firing.

“Tommy it can shoot through the boxes!” Gordon warned. A headcrab pounced at him but he quickly shot it before it landed.

“Wha?” The turret shot through and hit Benrey’s arm, they let out a hiss of pain.

“B-Benrey!”

Tommy picked Benrey up and bolted, Gordon screaming at him to get to cover fast as Tommy slid down to where Gordon was, the torrent finally halting its fires.

“Is he okay!?” Gordon asked, Tommy leaned back against the wall and sat down, holding Benrey’s bleeding arm.

“Is all good bro, will uh, be healed up in-ow fuck, no time!” Benrey reassured, Tommy letting out a sigh of relief. Dr Coomer and Bubby in the meantime managed to disable the turret, leaving it safe when Benrey got up and looked around the corner.

“Has it stopped?” Gordon asked, Tommy walked out to see Dr Coomer and Bubby there unharmed.

“I-It can’t hurt you, if you’re s-s-smart.” Tommy said, smiling.

“T-that’s why we’re a-all scientists.”

Gordon let out a little laugh and walked over to Tommy with a pity smile on his face. Excuse him?

“Buddy, buddy, that’s not how it works.” Gordon got uncomfortably close to Tommy and placed his hand on his cheek. Tommy’s eyes widened as he whacked Gordon away.

“D-Don’t touch m-me!!” He yelled, turning a heel and storming off. Tommy walked a fair way ahead of the group, why did he touch his face!? Did he think he was going to let Gordon that close to possibly harm him? He’s not stupid.

But also…

Tommy reached up and touched the cheek Gordon had his hand on. It… was closer to how Benrey touched them then how other scientists touched him. While it was uncalled for, he was slow and the touch was placed almost carefully. He felt his face heat up and he shook. This wasn’t the time.

His hand rested on his belt and felt the outline of his gun, he pulled it up and cocked it. It felt weird at first, pointing it to how he saw the guards do so with one hand. Finger on the trigger.

Footsteps approached as the rest of the team caught up with him, Gordon’s eyes widening as he noticed the gun in Tommy’s hold.

“Right uh, you ready to test that thing?” He asked. And Tommy pulled the trigger.

“Dude!?”

Gordon stepped away and Tommy’s own eyes were now wide, he didn’t mean to fire it!

“Um, y-yeah.”

Though it did feel rather fun. He pointed it up, away from Gordon and fired again.

“No, no, no! You don’t just shoot it when there’s people around.”

He gestured to Dr Coomer and Bubby who were below the ceiling which Tommy shot at.

“That w-was test.” Tommy replied, the two locking eyes now.

“You don’t need to test a gun, okay?”

“Y-y-you d-don’t need t-to tell me w-what to do!”

Gordon’s frustration grew as he stepped forward, only for another gunshot to be heard and a dent appear in the suit. The two looking towards Bubby who was aiming the gun at Gordon.

“Seriously!?”

“… Sorry my bad.”

“H-How’s the arm?” Tommy asked Benrey, they looked down at the hole in their shirt but the wound itself was near gone, mostly a scar.

“Pretty good bro.”

Tommy smiled and kissed Benrey on the head.

“Oh my god another guard, thank fuck.”

Benrey looked up to see Gordon talking to a guard, dread sank down their stomach but luckily Dr Coomer gave it a good punch in the leg.

Oh, oh shit now he’s shooting at Gordon!

Benrey whipped up their gun and shot the guard in the face, he fell to the ground. Headshot!

“Why would you do that?!” Gordon snapped.

What? Benrey raised a confused eyebrow, they, they saved him? Why was he so upset?

“Assume if we threaten anyone! They’ll assume we are a threat!” He continued yelling. Tommy moved in front of Benrey with a death glare to Gordon, silencing him without a word. He looked at Benrey who was behind Tommy, the look in their eyes hurt and confused with a few blue orbs floating from their mouth.

“I… Just, god please stop killing people…?”

Tommy shook his head. “No.”

Gordon gulped quietly as all four of them stood before him, almost against him. Tommy could see confusion and fear in Gordon’s eyes.

“Don’t hurt him.” Benrey piped up, to Gordon’s surprise. Tommy’s eyes softened as he looked at Benrey. Then back at Gordon.

“L-Lets go.”

Sounds of gurgled grunting caught Tommy’s attention, breaking away from the group he spotted a few more aliens. Nothing he hasn’t fought before. He looked at his gun.

But now…

Tommy took out the gun and lined up his finger with the trigger, the alien spotted him and charged forward only to be repeatedly shot with bullets, Tommy firing at increased speed, covering the alien in bloody holes.

“Tommy going ham!” Gordon cheered, Tommy didn’t stop shooting and felt his body fuel with adrenaline at Gordon’s encouragement. The alien attempted to run but Tommy watched it drop to the ground as its body couldn’t handle anymore bullets.

“Go off Tommy!”

Tommy pointed his fun up and fired at the barnacle, finger still pressing the trigger fast.

“Holy shit you got a trigger finger.”

He went into the room the alien tried to escape into, Bubby following behind. Not much seemed to be in there.

“Tommy you said you’ve never held a gun before!”

Tommy looked over to Gordon, uniform splattered with blood.

“Th-This is all instinct, Me Freeman!” He replied.

“Instinct?”

Tommy nodded.

“I-I, I’ve d-done stuff l-like this a lot b-b-before. Just not with a g-gun.” He explained.

“Oh, uh, okay um… You’re good at it.”

“… Th-Thanks.”

The two stood there in silence for a moment, Tommy’s eyes refusing to meet Gordon’s.

First to break the tension was Tommy walking out the room, Gordon watched and saw the man had once again gone to Benrey. It was probably best to keep moving anyway.

The days went by, too many to count despite the tallies littering Tommy’s cell room.

The cell door opened but Tommy didn’t come to the giants, they were not happy when he refused to come over the other times, the purple and dirty yellow marks on his skin aren’t from the pain rooms. They were from the giants when he did something that made them angry, not coming over made them angry. But why would he come near? They keep taking him to bad places.

“It’s time to go.”

He did not go towards the voice. He didn’t grant a glance over to them, simply stared into the corner of the room.

“Do you want another cookie?”

No. No he does not want to go near that ‘cookie’. Every time he was given a cookie it ended in pain. Every time he went near the giant’s and left the cell only ended in pain. Tommy hugged himself tighter, covering his face as he heard the footsteps get closer. Readying himself for the pain that is soon to come.

“Tommy? Come here, now.” The giant demanded. Still meeting refusal, he could hear the frustration grow.

“I will not tell you again.”

Then don’t.

Get it over with.

“Yo! It’s the soda!” Benrey called out, Tommy shook his head a little and looked onward at the red light of another machine, rushing over with them to the soda giver.

“Oh, hell yeah, you guys want some more soda!?”

Gordon aimed his gun and shot the machines, the soda spilling out once again as the team flocked around with greedy mouths. Gordon chuckled at them all and took care of the aliens around the corner.

Tommy came up behind Gordon.

“M-Mr Freeman?”

Gordon jumped a little and looked towards Tommy. He put a can of soda into Gordon’s hand.

“B-Benrey said y-y-you need to h-have some soda.”

He looked at the can, a Sprite tm can. He was pretty thirsty… Gordon popped open the can and took a refreshing sip, he noticed Tommy still standing there.

“Oh uh, thank you, and Benrey. Um.”

Tommy stayed silent.

“Listen I uh…” He looked to the others who were busy slurping the soda still. “I’m really sorry, again. For upsetting you and Benrey earlier. It’s, it’s all very overwhelming.”

Tommy looked at him, listening.

“And murder is just, it’s just something most humans don’t go wanting or having to see. But I also shouldn’t have touched your face without asking. I also don’t really like people doing that.”

Tommy felt his chest ache as Gordon talked. This human was going to be the death of him somehow, it was just unclear as to how he would do so.

“It’s, it is r-r-rather, stressful. Th-The situation I-I mean.” Tommy admitted, taking a sip of his own soda.

“Yeah…”

“Yo bro, got the lil science boy to drink something? Get that nutrients?” Benrey barged in, they gulped down a soda, swallowing loudly. It made Gordon laugh at least.

“Yeah, I’m drinking the soda, thank you.”

Benrey grinned and let out some yellow sweet voice. “Niiice.”

Gordon smiled wider at the two, Tommy let a small curve slip before ensuring he was back to a stern look. It was good enough to make Gordon appear more relaxed at least.

“Are you mother fuckers going to hurry up or what?!” Bubby yelled, the three looked over to see Dr Coomer and Bubby were already at the next room. How the? They were just drinking the soda only a second ago!

Oh well.

“’M tiiiired.” Benrey announced, promptly dropping onto the cold floor and staying there. Looks like they were resting for a bit then. Tommy sat beside Benrey and pulled them onto his lap, Gordon sat down in front of Tommy while Dr Coomer and Bubby sat together.

Benrey moved their head to rest on Tommy’s chest, yawning with sharp teeth showing. Gordon’s heart skipped a beat at seeing them snuggled up like that, and the soft hold Tommy had around them.

“So, what about your guy’s lives? Got any family Dr Coomer?” Gordon asked.

“Well, I did have a wife, but they took her in the divorce!” He replied, still smiling wide as if he didn’t just say something that’d raise an eyebrow.

“They took your wife in the divorce?”

“Hello, Gordon! Yes.”

“What the, what do you mean TOOK your wife?!”

“Now Gordon I believe it is rude to press on personal matters!”

He did have a point…

“Yeah, shut the fuck up, Gordon.”

Bubby put it a lot less nicely, but Gordon couldn’t help but chuckle at the old man’s bluntness. He turned to Tommy, who was still protectively holding a near asleep Benrey.

“How about you Tommy?”

“Hm?”

“Got any family, like where are you from?”

Tommy sat there in silence for a moment.

“I… I d-don’t know I’m an o-orphan.” He replied. Gordon’s face changed to one of sadness but didn’t say anything. Benrey opened their eyes for a moment to quickly shoot the pigeon walking closer, no one can take Benrey’s cuddle spot.

“B-But I have a dog!”

“Oh really? What’s your dog’s name?”

Tommy stared at Gordon for a moment yet again, his head saying the words but he couldn’t quite get it out…

“S-sunkist.”

There we go.

“You, named your dog after soda?”

“I-It’s a good n-n-name for the p-perfect dog.”

Gordon kept giggling. “You really like soda, don’t you?”

Wasn’t it obvious? Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah.”

Tommy looked back down at Benrey; their face squished against his chest. He brushed some hair out of their face and looked back up at Gordon.

“So um, what about Benrey?”

Tommy’s eyes flicked down to the ground; his arms pressed them closer to himself.

“Isn’t v-very n-nice. Th-that’s for B-Benrey to t-t-tell you.” Tommy replied.

“Yeah, that’s probably best. He looks so tired…”

“I-It’s been a l-long day…”

Gordon nodded and rested against the wall, Tommy looking away to rest with Benrey.

The room was quiet, Tommy’s eyes wandered at the group settling down to rest. What was life going to be like when they escaped? He’s waited for this day for so long and it’s so close to his reach.

And he hadn’t a single clue what he was going to do with that freedom. The sound of Benrey’s breathing reminded him of who else was holding out on this hope, and he promised that Benrey would see the day of freedom. He has to, he can’t let Benrey down.

Not like his ‘family’ did, whoever they are. If he even had one. There was no point in bothering about whoever they are, they abandoned Tommy. They do not deserve a place in his thoughts. His eyes gazed on to Gordon, he knew what life is like outside… Maybe if things go well he can assist him and Benrey. Maybe...

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skgway · 4 years ago

Text

1832 Nov., Tues. 6

8 50/..

12 1/2

Fine morning – Fahrenheit 49º at 9 20/.. a.m. – Called up to Wilson the joiner come about the library passage up and down stairs in 1/2 hour – Till 9 giving orders – Then breakfast with my father – Waited for Marian to order about flannel for waistcoats and drawers. Determined to have all ready to be off in January –

Had Washington – To have all the bills next week for wearing, mystal at Southolme etc. etc. – Just saw my aunt for a few minutes – Very kind 2 1/2 pages Letter from Miss McL– [MacLean] (Coll house aros) to say the bay on laurel leaved willows were sent off to Glasgow yesterday week with orders to be forwarded here immediately –

Off at 11 1/4 with Marian to call at the vicarage – There in 20 minutes and sat 1/2 hour with Mrs. Musgrave – Then went with Marian to Walker’s shop to order flannel etc. for things for me in readiness for being off – Hoped I really should be on route in January – Then parted with Marian –

Went to Whitley’s. Bought Hooper’s medical dictionary 25 /. [shillings] published at 28 /. [shillings] and in 50 minutes at Lidgate (at 1 1/2). Miss W– [Walker] very glad to see me, I having said I should not go till tomorrow – Sat 1/2 hour with her and home at 2 1/2 –

Met Mr. Samuel Waterhouse junior (ætatis 17) at her gate – Stood talking a few minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood left Miss Walker – Mr. S[amuel] W[aterhouse] just came to her door to ask how she did – She said she should have me to nurse [her] now and really seemed much better and in good spirits.

Talked of the agreeable surprise of seeing [me] but yet seemed more inclined to talk of business than love. I appeared in more than good spirits. She would think them all put on. And perhaps believe me feeling more acutely than I really did. I kissed her, but in a common way, and she did not push herself to me as yesterday and was more guarded.

She will not give me much reason now either to hope or despair. Her self possession will probably be undisturbed enough. I left her with no pleasant feeling, saying to myself, ‘Damn her. It is an arrow and perhaps a lucky escape.’ I dont think her answer will be yes. And the more easily reconciled I am the better. Shall I dislike her by and by? At least I shall be more at liberty without her –

Fred Wilson, the joiner, and his man in the library passage at 2 1/2 – 26 or 27 inches lower than my blue room closet but determined not to be beaten with it, and went on – Dusty job to get the studding down –

Had only just managed and given orders what was to be done when James Holt came at 4 5/.. and had him till 6 – Something must be wrong that Mr. Jeremiah Rawson will not let go into their works – Probably they are stealing my coal already – Holt says I should not take less than £200 per acre but if he was in their place he would not give £250 per acre –

Said I had at 1st asked the price between the 2 leases (£205 and £230) = £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] but had said I should be worse to deal with now – Proposed asking £220 per acre but Holt owned the coal was worth as much now as when sold to Oates and Green and worth quite as much or more to Rawsons than to them (∴ [therefore] I ought to have £230 per acre) –

Owned too that I ought to have more for the coal at the top of the land, for it would make that at the bottom of less value. He thought they had a hundred yards plumbing dip i.e. could get with the water head a hundred yards breadth on this side and alongside the present waterhead driven by Oates and Company – Should shew Mr. J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] the coal plan – Ask him what fields he wanted and might let him Hugh grave field and the coal ungot to the north west of it and to the north east down in a straight line under the cunnery plantation down to the road but not to let him come lower down –

Owned afterwards it would be as well not to let him come lower than the Cunnery houses, for if he got down to the brook he could throw such a quantity of water upon us – If he did not come lower down than Cunnery houses or the present Wakefield road, I might leave or fence of coal or turn the water, and not be so much injured –

Holt would meet J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] on the ground and see what he wanted – No air pit necessary for the lower bed coal, and not to sell any upper bed but by a separate agreement – Upper bed costs 6 d [pence] a score (corves) more getting than lower bed, and not being able to get it all, obliged to leave posts, makes it not work so much by £50 an acre as lower bed –

If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] would not let Holt go into his works, I might propose either of the 2 brothers Squire or Tom Lassey of Thornhill, the former steward to Mr. Ingham of Misfield – In making the agreement to have surface measure, and the power to send down people into the works whenever I liked, and to have a clause to prevent J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] damming or turning any water back into the old works after he had got the coal (Had I not better have a bond of indemnity against this?) otherwise he might drown me in water and prevent my getting the coal below where he had been getting and had turned the water –

It was right enough that I should make no allowance for gauls or jumbles or ruttle – Great difference between drawing out at the day and pulling up thro’ a shaft – At their (Holt’s) pit on Swales moor 150 yards deep pulling costs them 18 pence a score; and ropes cost them £15 or £16 a year – One collier may be reckoned to get 25 corves a day for five days in a week – If J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] gets £100 profit per acre it will be quite enough –

Then see according to the following what to ask an acre for the coal –

Making all sufficient allowances there will come out of one square yard 5 corves, which (as J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] sells at 7 d [pence] and 8 d [pence] a corve, average at 7 1/2 d [pence] a corve –

Expense of getting 20 corves (or one score) 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers –

Banksman 1 /. [shilling] a score – wear and tear say 6 d [pence] a score, certainly enough –

Lower bed 18 inches thick – Lightcliffe bed 25 inches thick – Billy stocks paid £260 an acre 5 or 6 years ago for what he bought – This that Hinscliffe is taking must be worth as much – He will have very little to sink – 14 or 16 yards and coals worth less as nearer the surface – But not for being dry – But there is a gaul that throws up the coal near Lidgate (breaks out in the road going up the hill) and there cannot be any coal on this side that gaul near more than a daywork or 2 to get in that field next below the Smith (Hinscliffe’s) –

Speaking of Godley, wished Holt not to let it go for nothing but said I had mentioned it to Mr. Samuel Freeman – Holt said I could employ no one better – He said it was North £80 a daywork but £ a daywork was the outside – ∴ [therefore] the 20 dayworks = £2000

Carr has been arrested several times lately – Speaking of the cottages on Godley land, Holt knows that the 4 belonging to his uncle George Holdsworth would be sold – Cost £50 each building and £40 the ground – But might be had he thinks for £ 200 – Will inquire and let me know –

Speaking of his farm, some people might buy it at 3 1/2 percent Rent £66 per anum but it would not suit him to buy land at that price – He explained the manner of working coal pits – Asked him to give me an underground plan of a pit in working and asked him to let me know when I could go down with him into one of his pits. I must understand coal-getting before I have done with it – Holts pit at Binns bottom will be ready for working in 2 months from this and I can go in at the day –

Dinner at 6 3/4 – In 1/2 hour wrote and sent at 7 35/.. 3 pages to “Dr. Belcombe York” or rather 2 pages and 3 or 4 lines to him and the rest to his wife, to be torn off and given to her, thanks for her letter and to say yes! I thought black velvet properly garni au blonde (white) would be very becoming to her –

Told him wished I could give a better account of his patient, but she was not worse on his hands, which was marvellous considering the affliction she had had on account of the sudden death of her most particular friend, the news of which had arrived the day after our leaving York – No pills last Thursday – Begged to have them next Thursday – Ask how long they are to be gone on with without interruption – She thought at 1st, but not afterwards, they gave her much physicky pain in her bowels – These last had behaved very well considering the affliction she had been in –

In fact, she believed she could not have been so well now, had she not had his advice – He is ‘in très bonne odeur’ and his patient has faith enough in him – Mr. Day has been and, I suppose, would not let her believe in her own existence without the use of his ointment but ‘ce nous est égal’ – Ask him to write a letter I can shew. Not to spare a little anxiety and to ask whatever questions he knows will be proper. ‘Indeed not say I have the good of your reputation at heart’ –

John’s son Joseph Booth came over with Scott’s head groom to bring 2 perfect horses to Mr. Thomas Dyson of Willow field – Had him (Joseph B– [Booth]) in and spoke to him – He is grown, and improved – Perhaps I shall take him with me abroad – Then writing journal of today – Had John in – He is much pleased and satisfied with his son – Talked to him about his family – To send Charlotte for my aunt, to hear her read and see her sewing so as to be able to judge what she can do and be fit for –

Then my father and Marian just gone to bed. A few minutes with my aunt – Then came back to the drawing room – Read my letter from Vere dated Turin 24 October 3 pages and ends of small sheet (Frankfort paper) – Very nice chit chat amusing letter –

And read my letter from Lady Stuart (Richmond park) enclosing Vere’s 2 last to her – A kind 1/2 sheet full and a few lines on the envelope (franked by Lord Goderich) from Lady S– [Stuart]. These letters put me in spirits. I am better without Miss W[alker] –

11 1/2 before I had read my letters and written so far of today –

5 corves at 7 1/2 d pence = 37 1/2 d [pence] = 3 1 1/2 per square yard

One score or 20 corves = 12/6 [shillings/pence] expense of getting which = 4 /. [shillings] to the colliers.

∴ [therefore] 12/6 - 5/6 = 7 /. [shillings] clear gain per score = 1 /. [shilling] to the banksman or per 4 square yards = ./6 [shilling/pence] wear and tear (quite enough) –

At the forgoing rate, 5 corves or 1 square yard = clear gain of 1/9 [pound/shillings], 1 score (20 corves) or 4 square yards = clear gain of 7 /. [shillings] ∴ [therefore]

1 acre or 4840 square yards = at 1/9 [pound/shillings] per square yard or 7 /. [shillings] p[e]r 4 square yards = £423. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Now Holt said this calculation would do, and that £100 clear gain per acre was enough ∴ [therefore] if I have £250 per acre J[eremiah] R– [Rawson] has a profit of 423. [pounds] 10. [shillings]. 0 [pence] – 250 = £173. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

Very fine day – Went up to my room at 11 50/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 49º

[sideways in margin] Sunday 23 December 1832 vide page 231, suppose Messieurs R– [Rawson] to sell at 7 1/2 per corve or 12/6 per score and allow half for expenses, then 48040/4 or 1210 x 6 shillings x 3 d [pence] = £363 + 15. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence] = £378. [pounds] 2. [shillings]. 6 [pence], so that paying me £230. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence] per acre then remains to Messieurs a profit per acre of £147. [pounds] 12. [shillings] 6 [pence]

#anne lister #ann walker #anne lister code breaker #shibden hall 1832

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pinnithin-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Good Jokes

Chapter 4

Later that day, Tommy did two things to make Gordon’s life a little easier.

Item one: he did end up trapping Benrey under a fire door. It was an accident. Totally. Tommy knew it wasn’t a permanent fix, but it would at least get the entity out of their hair for a few hours while he regenerated a body. In the meantime, they could make their way through the facility much quicker.

Item two: he stopped calling Gordon by his first name.

Dr. Coomer had been firing off a cheerful, “Hello, Gordon!” every few minutes and it was driving the new guy nuts. He was sick to death of his own name. Tommy realized he had subconsciously discarded the word ‘Gordon’ to spare his sanity and now found himself casting around for a replacement.

‘Freeman’ felt blasé. Lazy. Like something Benrey would call him, if he ever bothered to call anyone anything. ‘Dr. Freeman’ made Tommy feel the same way ‘Dr. Coolatta’ did. It was ostentatious. Distinguished. Not at all a fit for Gordon - Tommy had a feeling he knew how to misbehave.

...Mister? Mr. Freeman? That made him sound like a high school history teacher. It was… hilarious, honestly. He couldn’t picture this maniac with a crowbar lecturing at the front of a classroom if he tried. And Gordon didn’t strike Tommy as someone pretentious enough to correct him on the title. He was sharp enough to appreciate the joke. Provided he wasn’t too stressed out to catch it.

The first time he called him that, Gordon accepted it without comment, did a double take, and gave Tommy a questioning, brows-raised look. Mister? He mouthed. But, as predicted, he didn’t correct him. Tommy could not keep the shit-eating grin off his face. The name stuck.

The military showed up, with their artillery and their uniforms and their brief stint of hope, but they were just as bloodthirsty as the aliens, gunning the researchers in Black Mesa down like prey animals. Were these three men he ran with the only people Tommy could trust? No, not even that, the only people who didn’t outright want him dead? It sure was starting to seem like that. He steeled his nerves for further violence as they pushed on.

Reaching the surface was a short-lived victory. Tommy caught a fleeting glimpse of the red canyon walls, the searing blue sky, before government ordered ammunition rained down on them and forced them below ground again like rats. His heart ached. He wanted to taste the sun on his face. Feel the desert sand radiating its latent heat. Following his team into the cold metal belly of Black Mesa once more was probably the hardest thing he’d done that day.

Benrey didn’t stay gone for long, materializing in the form of a skeleton while his flesh was piecing itself together particle by particle in another dimension. He was practically haunting the group, revealing himself only to Gordon and slowly driving him insane. Tommy could see him, as well, but he ignored the entity. If he was this desperate for attention, he would have to try a little harder to gain any from him.

He later got the attention he craved via dozens of slugs of lead. Bubby and Coomer quickly took out the skeleton as soon as it visibly approached them, and Gordon had promptly passed out seconds later. Tommy rested his hands on his waist, surveying the mess and shaking his head. They were too close to the military threat right now to justify resting here.

God, he was bone tired, though. They had been running hard for at least a day now. It was honestly a miracle Gordon hadn’t lost consciousness sooner. He drew in a deep breath, casting a cursory look at his remaining companions.

“Do you think we can get him out of here?” he asked.

Bubby wiped a spatter of blood from his jaw and shrugged. “I’m not carrying him,” he grumbled.

“We could roll him like a barrel,” Dr. Coomer suggested blithely.

As funny as that would be, it was probably best not to give Gordon any more blunt force trauma than he had already taken today. Falling down a staircase because your coworkers pushed you would be a pretty idiotic way to die, especially after everything Gordon had survived already. Tommy removed his lab coat and passed it off to Bubby, who passed it off to Coomer.

After he neatly rolled up his sleeves, picking up Gordon wasn’t hard for Tommy to do. It was just a matter of nudging the rules of weight and mass a little to his advantage. Tommy never broke reality; he just leaned on it occasionally until it gave enough ground for him to do what he wanted. Gordon’s limp head lolled against his chest as he hefted him in his arms. He did his best not to pay attention to that.

“Fine lifting, Tommy!” Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

Tommy nodded in thanks, grateful that the old boxer didn’t get hung up on the details of the implausible. Bubby, however, had a question on his face, studying Tommy carefully as he stood there carrying a man who had fifty pounds on him, at least. But he didn’t ask, so Tommy didn’t answer.

He cast one last look at the pile of Benrey bones on the floor. He’d catch up later.

“Let’s go,” he said.

They pressed on wearily in search of a sheltered place. Tommy carried Gordon like the precious cargo he was, fully appreciating that the other man wasn’t conscious for this. Otherwise he’d surely hear how loudly his heart was pounding against his ribs.

I’ve got you, Tommy thought. You’re safe.

---

A new sense of normalcy elbowed into their lives. The following day, the team worked its way in a wide arc through an unexplored section of Black Mesa, dodging aliens and soldiers alike as they went. It had only taken 24 hours for the reality of fighting for their lives to settle in, and while they were all still pretty haggard from the previous day’s events, everyone seemed to be handling themselves a little better after a night’s rest and some time to process.

Gordon had improved more than anyone. After dealing with the shock of the Resonance Cascade and watching his world turn on its ear, he had concluded that the only way out was through, and he would be the one to get them there. His words were still a rapid-fire tangle of his unfiltered thoughts, but Tommy could see his decisions growing more critical, his actions more confident as they worked their way toward freedom.

Good thing, too. Tommy was beginning to sense a strangeness in the air the deeper they explored Black Mesa. A warping of the space around them, a stretching of the threads of time. Someone, somewhere, had grabbed a towline and yanked, and Tommy could sense it yanking him, too. It felt…bad. It felt wrong.

He tried to explain as much to the team, now that their soundness of mind was relatively more stable than it was yesterday. But it was hard to verbalize the concept of reality shifting like a tectonic plate to people whose top priorities were not getting eaten or shot. “I think time might be expanding and contracting,” was what Tommy said. “I think you might be having a caffeine overdose,” was Gordon’s troubled reply.

Alright. If nobody wanted to believe him, Tommy wasn’t going to waste his energy making them. He trailed behind the group, as was his habit, and quietly did his best to keep his companions alive.

On the upside, with Gordon feeling more normal, Tommy’s jokes were starting to land again. As they uncovered more and more horrifying secrets hidden in the intestines of Black Mesa, Tommy could feel his own sarcasm reaching astronomical levels just to cope.

What the hell were they doing down here? Tommy had been aware of the planar research the facility was conducting, but seriously? A freezer full of human flesh? Ethically questionable cybernetic experiments? Vats of toxic waste, just out there in the open? The absurdity of it all would almost strike him as funny if their circumstances weren’t so dire.

Bubby met it all with grim acceptance and Dr. Coomer seemed wholly oblivious. Only Gordon was reeling with the same amount of consternation that Tommy was experiencing, exchanging glances with him that asked, What the fuck? What the actual fuck?

Dr. Coomer, who was rapidly gaining Tommy’s respect by going toe to toe with their enemies boxing style, kept worrying about his ‘green goop’ allergy anytime they were near the nuclear waste. Tommy honestly wasn’t sure if he was serious or not, and he fought down a snicker whenever it was mentioned. In a way, everyone was allergic to nuclear waste. If you really thought about it.

Gordon eventually raised a concern about their exposure to radiation. Little late there, bud, Tommy wanted to say, but Bubby beat him to the punch with an acidic, “It’s just brain cancer, you can live with that.”

“I don’t thi - hm,” Gordon said.

“I don’t think you can live with that,” Coomer agreed.

Gordon paused, then reconsidered. “I mean, you guys have shown me you - your superhuman potential, so maybe you can,” he said. “Maybe you can. I’m willing to believe… quite about anything right now, so.”

Tommy rolled his eyes as he hopped easily up to the pipeline they had been following. Anything except time being altered, apparently. He tried not to hold it against him. Baby steps. Tommy gazed down at Gordon and jerked his chin for him to follow.

“The cybernetics department was very well funded, Gordon,” Dr. Coomer informed him brightly as he clambered up the pipe.

Well funded? Tommy couldn’t keep the snark out of his voice. “Yeah,” he agreed dryly, “they even gave us these flashlights.”

Gordon, after clearing a gap, turned to give Tommy a puzzled look.

He smirked and indicated his perfectly ordinary flashlight. “They’re Weather Channel brand, you just kinda turn a crank and they go.”

Gordon’s laugh, genuine and sweet, rang through the chamber, and Tommy was surprised at the relief that washed over him when he heard it. If Gordon was feeling well enough to take a joke, they were on the right track. They were doing okay. He smiled and kept moving forward, hope fluttering in his chest.

The nuclear reactor that was actively leaking waste was so mind-numbingly ridiculous, so pointlessly and blatantly dangerous, that Tommy barked out a short “ha!” of a laugh when he rounded the corner. The sheer amount of radiation exposure this facility possessed was unheard of. It was a miracle they didn’t all have massive brain damage. Okay, well. Maybe that was up for debate.

“This place is huge,” Gordon remarked.

“Yup!” Tommy proclaimed, eyeing the acid green sludge with a mystified grin. “And it’s all built to code. The U.S. lets us do this. This is all to regulation.” He raised his arm in a dramatic, sweeping gesture, unable to contain his mirth. “Everything.”

Gordon began chuckling. “I mean, I’m not too worried about the government right now,” he reasoned, before his attention was stolen away by the animals that were swimming in the murk. He popped a few rounds off with his handgun, marveling at the beasts’ ability to survive in such a toxic environment.

Tommy was too pleased with himself to even bother acting like they were a threat. “Those creatures aren’t from the - from the incident,” he continued. “Those were here. That’s also to regulation. You’re allowed… five percent.”

He was barely keeping his tone even and Gordon was doing an amused little exhale through his nose as he tried to hold in his laughter.

“We’ve been breeding them for twenty years to eat radioactive waste,” Dr. Coomer added, eyes twinkling with mischief as he played along.

Tommy had never wanted to high five another person so badly in his life.

Dr. Coomer didn’t even manage to ruin the mood by dying, twice, in rapid succession. He miraculously reappeared only seconds later, when they had all regrouped on a catwalk about three stories above the pit of waste. Tommy arched a quizzical eyebrow at the old man. Coomer simply shrugged. Huh. He sure wasn’t kidding about the cybernetics department being well funded.

Gordon, who was already questioning his own sanity, didn’t even ask about it. Benrey was back, of course. Hovering around the group like the disembodied fuck he was. Tommy let his gaze slide away from him like water anytime he was in his line of sight, but Gordon couldn’t shake the spectre from his mind as it floated only paces behind them. He had been doing a well enough job of pretending the entity wasn’t there until Benrey fired a nine millimeter round at him.

“Okay,” Gordon declared, finally snapping. “There is something fucked up going on.” He cast a nervous eye in the skeleton’s direction.

Bubby and Coomer looked perplexed, while Tommy just folded his arms. He was ignoring Benrey for everyone’s sake - the more attention he got the more powerful he became - but a small part of him was just being petty. Oh, Gordon wanted everyone to believe something unlikely was happening? But nobody took his word for it? Wonder what that felt like.

Gordon kept talking as he pointed at Benrey. “There is an invisible assailant. I want you guys to believe me - I need you guys to believe me.” His tone took on a pleading edge, and it was too much for Tommy to leave him hanging anymore. “There’s - okay - th-”

“I mean, aside from the extra creatures,” Tommy interrupted him, “I’m just seeing normal nuclear power plant stuff, Mr. Freeman. You’re starting to concern me.”

Gordon’s nervous words stuttered into a chuckle. While he turned aside to contain himself, Tommy sliced a chilly stare toward the simpering skull a few yards away. Shoot at him again and see what happens.

Benrey’s returning gaze was icy. But he hung back.

The group assured Gordon that he was not, in fact, losing his mind (“Could just be the radiation,” Bubby offered), and kept going until they reached a door with a label so weathered it was almost unreadable. Gordon, with newfound confidence, gave Tommy a roguish grin as soon as he saw it.

“What does this say?” He asked, even teeth flashing prettily. “This is another one of those fucked up things like the break room. I can't read this.”

Tommy let out a quiet, surprised breath. The fact that Gordon was referencing the moment they met at a time like this made him feel amused and touched in equal measure. Heat rose from his collarbones to his cheeks as he returned his smile. Wait, he had asked him a question, hadn’t he? He squinted at the door and realized he could actually decipher it.

“This says-”

“Prolapse?” Gordon guessed cheekily, and Tommy almost choked on his own laughter.

“Pro Lab Engine Testing,” he managed to gasp out, right before the door opened and a ghoulish creature lunged at them.

Dr. Coomer was on the thing in a blink, knocking it out with a heavy-knuckled blow to the cranium before it could even touch anyone. They all gave the old scientist an impressed look before stepping around the corpse and through the entrance.

“I’ve never been in here,” Tommy commented as he ducked under the doorway. “They only let me into the Scrub Lab.”

Gordon laughed like a bell tower. It rang straight through his heart.

Tommy was never one for drugs, but Gordon Freeman’s sunshine smile made him understand why some people were. Every time he saw it he wanted more, and hearing Gordon’s laughter was quickly becoming addicting.

Awfully inconvenient of Armageddon to happen right when he was getting to know the guy. He should be asking him for his number, not checking to see how many bullets he’d taken. Well, Tommy thought with resolve, all the more reason to get him out of here alive.

Chapter 3 <-----> Chapter 5

#ink #fanfiction #good jokes #part of my endeavor to relocate all my ao3 work #guns #violence #hlvrai

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