#the fishing bit is so good. to me. personally
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Sunshine [11] - Blast
AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs! ❤️ You’re amazing! ❤️
I hope you like this as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! 🥰
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: Every break up has an aftermath.
Word Count: 4244
CW: Explicit language, angst, adult themes MDNI
Series Masterlist
The month after your brutal breakup hadn’t been so easy.
When Theo was around, you made sure he didn’t notice anything. His happiness was the most important thing for you, it had been that way ever since he was born, so you weren’t going to ruin it. Every weekend, you pretended you were incredibly happy and that nothing was wrong at all, despite the heartbreak you were going through.
Your friends were the only people who knew just how sad you were, and they had formed a very united front to change that.
“We have found the one.”
You pulled your brows together as you filled Jamie’s cup while Nik gave you a proud smile and Julie sat up straighter, repressing a squeal.
“You two are dating, so you’ve already found ‘the one’” you used air quotes, making Nik roll his eyes.
“Not for us!”
“And Julie would’ve told me if she found the one.”
“I’d also be shouting it from the rooftops, but this isn’t about me.”
You threw your head back. “I’m not gonna go on a blind date.”
“Hear me out,” Jamie said, fishing his phone out of his pocket. “This guy has been approved in the group chat.”
“What group chat?”
“Our group chat.”
Your jaw dropped. “You guys have a group chat without me?”
“Yes because it’s being used purely to find you your Mr. Right.”
“And we know it’s been only a month since you and Logan broke up but fuck Logan,” Julie added. “I’ve been carrying a magnet in my purse ever since you told me about your break up, just in case I run into him.”
Nik turned to look at her better. “You’re joking.”
Julie grabbed her purse and took out a small horseshoe magnet, making your eyes widen.
“I don’t play about my threats,” she told Nik. “That motherfucker broke my best friend’s heart, so I’ll point this magnet at his—”
“Where did you even get a magnet like that?” you cut her off and she shrugged.
“I googled it.”
“I’ve only seen these in cartoons,” Nik mused, reaching out to get the magnet from Julie before Jamie cleared his throat.
“Our point is,” he said. “You’re better off without Logan, and I think you’d really like this guy.”
You heaved a sigh, resting your elbows on the counter.
“Guys I really appreciate all the effort,” you said and stole a look at Julie. “And the magnet but—seriously, you know how much I hate blind dates.”
“Well does it count as a blind date if we show you his picture?” Nik asked, getting the phone from Jamie before turning the screen so that you could see the picture.
Even you had to admit, he looked cute. It was as if Jamie had decided to find you someone the complete opposite of Logan; he seemed younger than him -around Jamie’s age if you weren’t mistaken-, he had dirty blonde hair, and just from the picture alone, you could tell he was the type of person who liked to smile, a lot. Judging by his white coat, he worked in the same hospital Jamie worked in, and you stole a look at him.
“Your coworker?”
“He works in ER,” Jamie said. “Saved a kid’s life the other day.”
“And I’ve met him,” Nik said. “He’s like a cute puppy but also a badass.”
“And he is very handsome, you like handsome,” Julie sang tauntingly and you ran a hand over your face.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not over Logan yet.”
“The best way to get over someone is good sex,” Julie pointed out. “We’re not telling you to move in with the guy. We’re just telling you to just…go on a date and see where things go.”
“And it could help,” Nik said softly. “You know, distracting yourself from your ex.”
You bit inside your cheek, then clicked your tongue.
“Ugh, fine,” you muttered, making them grin. “But if I don’t like him, I’ll leave and you guys will delete that group chat. Alright?”
“Deal.”
*
One of the things you hated about blind dates was that you always got incredibly nervous right before. The urge to text them and stay in instead would always get the best of you—now to think of it, the only person you didn’t get that urge with was Logan.
Well.
Logan was out of the picture, and you had to deal with that.
But if anything, at least Jamie knew this guy and was friends with him, so the odds of him being an ass was pretty low.
You pulled over in front of the restaurant before checking your phone to see whether it was in fact the right place, then slipped a little in the seat. This was by no means your first rodeo but…
You really wanted to just go home and get under covers and listen to Julie’s break up playlist.
“Worst case scenario, you’ll just have one drink and go back home,” you muttered to yourself. “Come on soldier.”
You checked your makeup in the rear mirror, then got out of the car and locked it before you smoothed out your dress and made your way to the restaurant. The hostess greeted you and after you gave her your name, you followed her into the restaurant.
Oh, he was already there.
If Logan wasn’t at the back of your mind, you were sure that you would’ve been excited. He really was a good looking guy, the smile that appeared on his face upon seeing you looked very genuine, and the fact that he jumped on his feet to greet you was a great sign.
However—
Okay no, you were not going to think about Logan tonight, not at all.
“Hi!” he said and you smiled back.
“Hi,” you said and you extended your hand but he went for a hug before he paused and made a move to shake your hand but this time you were the one who went for a hug, so you gave him a curt hug before pulling back.
“Jesus—sorry, that was awkward,” he said and you tried to control your giggle at the look of slight regret on his face.
“No worries,” you assured him and he gave you a tentative smile.
“I’m Hayes.”
You introduced yourself as well before the waiter pulled your chair for you and you thanked him, then sat down. Hayes followed you suit, then motioned at his wine glass and the appetizers.
“I hope you don’t mind.”
“No no, not at all,” you said and looked up at the waiter who put the menu in front of you. “Can I get the same as well? Thank you.”
Waiter nodded and walked away from your table, and you turned to Hayes.
“Uh, hi again.”
“Hey,” he said with a chuckle. “So uh…blind but not so blind date?”
“Sounds about right,” you said. “I mean I saw your picture.”
“So have I.”
“Jamie showed it to you?”
“Technically no.”
You blinked a couple of times. “How’s that?”
“Jamie has a picture of you and your whole friend group on his desk,” he admitted as the waiter brought your wine and you thanked him. “I saw your pic there and I asked about you in a way that was very subtle in my opinion but Jamie disagrees.”
You raised your brows, smiling slightly. “You’re not serious.”
“It was kind of like Jamie was an app and I was fervently trying to swipe.”
A small laugh escaped from your lips and you covered your mouth. “Oh my God…”
“Am I giving off serial killer vibes?” he asked to no one in particular. “Because I swear I save people for a living, that’s not—it’s just that you are very pretty and I’m very rusty when it comes to all this.”
You lowered your hands to give him a bright smile.
“You’re very sweet,” you said. “I didn’t think you were rusty.”
“No?” he asked and let out a breath. “Thank God.”
“It’s been a while?” you asked him after a moment of hesitation and he hummed.
“Listen, rusty or not I know talking about previous relationships is a red flag.”
“I don’t mind,” you said. “Let me guess, you had a long relationship and…?”
“And walked in on her and my best friend.”
“Ouch.”
“Former best friend.”
“Still ouch,” you said with a grimace. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I mean—I changed cities but it has to be for a good cause. At least that’s what I’m choosing to believe.”
“Sounds like a good plan.”
“How about you? I find it hard to believe you go on blind dates if I’m honest.”
“Oh I’ve gone on blind dates,” you assured him. “And uh—my friends have made it their life mission to matchmake me, they apparently have a group chat where they approve people.”
Hayes pulled his brows together. “Holy shit, I’ve been approved in the group chat?”
“Yes you have,” you said. “Congratulations.”
“I feel very validated,” he mused, making you giggle. “No seriously, knowing Jamie, this is the same as passing a very difficult exam with a jury.”
“Yeah he’s very protective, especially after—” you stopped yourself and Hayes shot you a lighthearted look.
“Hey, I talked about my ex.”
“Well, I got dumped,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “And Jamie never approved of him, so now he’s like extra careful.”
Hayes hummed and lifted his wine glass slightly.
“Well, on behalf of all men in this city, we’re all very glad that your ex is an idiot.”
You scoffed a laugh and lifted your glass as well.
“Yeah well,” you trailed off, trying your hardest to not let your thoughts drift to Logan. “So you’re an E.R. doctor?”
“I am,” he said. “And you?”
“Oh I…I’m just a waitress,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders, that feeling of inadequacy hitting you out of nowhere once again. “Nothing too exciting.”
“Do you like where you work?”
“Yeah, I’m friends with everyone there except my boss,” you said. “It’s pretty nice. And you? I heard you saved a kid’s life the other day.”
A bright smile appeared on his face. “Yeah, that’s why I like working in the E.R. I can actually make a difference in just seconds, you know? It makes me feel alive, like I’m doing something right with my life.”
You nodded your head. “I can imagine. Sounds wonderful, really.”
He sipped his wine.
“So tell me more about you,” he said. “Jamie says you have a son?”
“Yeah!” you said, your eyes lighting up at the mention of Theo. “Yeah I do. Theo. He’s the cutest kid in the world, and I’m very objective about it.”
That made him laugh. “At first I thought Jamie was a father, with all the drawings in his office…”
“Oh he still keeps those?”
“With all due respect, it’s like a shrine in his office.”
“You should see his and Nik’s fridge, they have like one picture there and the rest is Theo’s artwork.”
“Really?”
“He had his artist phase, now he’s—” you started but were cut off when your phone started buzzing. You gave him an apologetic look.
“Excuse me,” you said as you grabbed it out of your purse, but as soon as you saw the name flashing on the screen, your heart dropped.
Logan.
A part of you -the petulant part of you- wanted to reject the call but you took a deep breath, then licked your lips and then answered.
“Hello?”
There was a second of hesitation on the other line before he cleared his throat.
“Theo is fine,” he said. “But he needs you here.”
Your head shot up. “What? What happened?”
“There was a small accident—”
“What accident?” you asked, your heart leaping to your throat as fear crashed down on you. “What—is he—”
“Like I said, he’s completely fine, I promise,” he said, his deep voice soothing your fear as always. “He had a nightmare, his powers took over and he blew up the wall in his room accidentally but he’s fine and so is everyone else. He locked himself in the basement though, and refuses to come out.”
You could feel your throat tightening but you took a shaky breath, then nodded as if he could see you.
“I’m on my way,” you said and hung up before turning to Hayes.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, pushing your phone into your purse. “Theo is…he’s in a boarding school in the city but he—he had a nightmare and he locked himself in the basement.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” Hayes said, frowning. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah,” you said despite the anxiety churning your stomach, then stood up. “But I need to go, he must be terrified.”
“Of course,” Hayes stood up with you. “Would you like me to drive you there?”
“No no, I can drive,” you said. “I really appreciate it though, thank you.”
“Oh it’s nothing, really,” he said. “I hope he’s feels better.”
“Sorry, again.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said. “Is it okay if I get your number from Jamie?”
“Sure!” you said. “I’ll—I’ll see you around I guess?”
“Have a nice night,” he said and you gave him a curt smile, then made your way out of the restaurant, your heart beating in your ears.
*
If it were any other time, you would’ve been nervous to see Logan after a month, for the first time after your break up but you were so worried about Theo that it didn’t even cross your mind that Logan would be the one to greet you.
Which, of course he was the one to greet you by the door. He probably took your scent the moment you drove through the gates.
He looked almost frozen the moment you stepped out of your car but he recovered very fast.
“Hey—”
“Where is he?” you asked without so much as glance in his direction as you walked past him into the mansion and Logan easily caught up with you.
“In the basement,” he said. “Follow me.”
When you two got to the basement, Storm and Jean were already there.
“Hey, he’s totally fine,” Jean assured you the moment she saw you and Storm nodded her head.
“We could’ve opened the door but we didn’t want to scare him any more than he already is,” she assured you. “He only said he wants you, and now he’s not talking to us.”
“But he’s not hurt in any way,” Logan added. “I don’t smell any blood or pain, and Jean already checked his mind.”
You raised your brows, then took a deep breath.
“Thanks,” you said and smiled at Storm and Jean. “Really, thank you so much. I can take it from here.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” you said and swallowed thickly. “It’s not the first time this happens.”
Storm and Jean exchanged glances before Storm turned to you.
“I’ll just go and check the other students then.”
“And I’ll fill Charles in,” Jean said, squeezing your arm in a reassuring manner before they both walked away and you ran a hand over your face, then walked to the door of the basement and knocked softly.
“Bean?”
The only answer you got was a sniffle, breaking your heart to smithereens. You could feel your own eyes burning but you frowned, forcing yourself to focus.
“Bean, are you there?”
“…Yes,” his small voice reached you and you took a deep breath.
“You think you can open the door?”
“I had a bad dream.”
“I know,” you said, nodding fervently. “Everyone has bad dreams, it’s completely normal. And what do we do when we have bad dreams?”
“We have hot chocolate because that makes them go away.”
“Exactly,” you said. “So can you open the door please?”
“People will be angry at me.”
“What? No!” you said. “No one will be angry at you, I promise.”
“Mommy, it was an accident,” he said, a hiccup escaping him and you rested your forehead against the door, squeezing your eyes before swallowing the lump in your throat.
“I know,” you said. “And so does everyone. No one is angry at you—Logan, is anyone angry at Theo?”
Logan came closer to the door so that Theo could hear him better.
“Not at all,” he said. “If anything I’m a little jealous. Blasting walls is so badass, I’d love to be able to do that.”
“You hear that, bean?”
“Really?” Theo’s hopeful voice reached you and Logan smiled slightly.
“Sure bub. And hey, turns out we’ll have to decide on your superhero costume sooner than you think.”
“There you go,” you said. “Superhero costume sounds fun—”
A meow cut you off, making you tilt your head.
“Bean, is there a cat in there with you?”
“…No.”
Another meow reached you and you raised your brows.
“Theo.”
“I found him here and we’re friends now.”
“Okay,” you muttered more to yourself. “Theo—”
“His name is Sir Bartholomeow,” Theo added as if it was imperative that you knew that information and you heaved a sigh.
“Very creative bean, but can you please open the door? So that we can drink hot cocoa and I can meet your friend?”
There was a momentary hesitation and another sniffle before you heard the lock turning and you took a step back so that you could see him better. Theo was still in his pajamas, his glasses slightly crooked over his face as if he had put them on in a hurry, his wide teary eyes looking up at you. In his arms, he was holding probably the grumpiest looking cat you had ever seen in your entire life so tight that it was a wonder why the cat wasn’t trying to escape. A breath of relief left you and you crouched down to get to his level.
“Hi bean,” you said gently. “How about we give your friend to Logan so that they can be friends and I can make sure you’re okay?”
Logan stepped closer. “Yeah bub, I can take the cat—”
“Sir Bartholomeow,” you and Theo said at the same time and Logan cleared his throat.
“Yeah, him.”
Theo sniffled again before tentatively handing Sir Bartholomeow to Logan, and you checked whether he was hurt anywhere before pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Theo was still shaking like a leaf and he mumbled ‘mommy’ before burying his face to your chest while you stood up with him in your arms.
“I’m here,” you said softly, still holding him tight. “I’m here, it’s fine. I swear everything is gonna be fine.”
*
Theo never liked being away from you and that turned into a whole different level whenever he had a nightmare. You would be lying if you said you weren’t relieved to have him in your sight so after he drank his hot chocolate, you had carried him to bed and stayed with him until he fell asleep, humming the lullaby he used to love when he was a baby.
There it was again.
Times like these, you always remembered just how utterly alone and clueless you were in this whole thing.
You could feel the tears pricking your eyes as you looked down at him, then leaned in to kiss his head and pulled the covers over him, and walked out of the room as quiet as a mouse.
The mansion was mostly quiet, and even though you could still hear the voices coming from the kitchen, you desperately needed to be alone in case you burst into tears, so you walked through the hallway to step outside, the cold wind hitting your face. Heaving a sigh, you made your way to the stairs to sit down, and wiped at your eyes furiously before wrapping your arms around your knees, fixing your gaze on the stars glimmering in the sky.
You heard the front door open before the familiar footsteps came closer and you felt him drop his jacket over your shoulders before he sat down as well.
“Hi Logan,” you rasped out, sniffling and he offered you a hesitant smile.
“Hey,” he said, putting the bottle of whiskey between you two before he made a face. “Shit, I forgot to bring glasses.”
You scoffed a laugh. “We’ve done worse things than drinking from the same bottle.”
“Right,” he said after a beat and you grabbed the bottle to take a swig, grimacing at the burn before putting it down again.
“How’s your arm?” he asked and you took a shaky breath, then shrugged your shoulders.
“Healed,” you said and turned to look at him better. “I don’t even think about it anymore.”
He was too smart to miss the double meaning of your remark and his lips twitched for a moment.
“I’d bet,” he muttered. “Fun date then?”
You pulled your brows together in confusion and he nodded at you.
“I haven’t seen you in that dress before and you smell like someone else.”
You smelt like—
Oh. Hayes had hugged you.
“I don’t have the capacity to get into that bullshit right now,” you stated and Logan swallowed thickly, then nodded again.
“Right,” he said. “Of course.”
For a minute, the only thing you could hear were the crickets and the sound of the faint wind in the air before Logan take a deep breath.
“He’s fine, princess.”
You bit at your nail, blinking back the tears before you shook your head.
“No he’s not,” you said. “You and I both know that he’s not fine. Not really.”
“He’s too powerful,” Logan said. “Accidents like these will happen, you can’t really avoid them. What matters is that he hasn’t hurt himself or anyone else.”
You took another sip of the whiskey.
“Having you here helped a lot too,” he said. “He calms down when he sees you, that’ll be good for him.”
You clicked your tongue.
“Yeah, for now,” you muttered and Logan frowned.
“For now?”
“Yeah,” you said. “Until he grows up and hates me for everything I’m doing wrong as we speak.”
“That’s not true.”
“No no it is, I’m fucking up big time,” you said with a dry laugh. “Jesus, my mom said I had no idea what I was doing and I was too busy arguing with her that I didn’t even see it but it’s true. I have no clue.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.”
“I’ve been doing everything wrong,” you told him, blinking back the tears. “He’s too little to see it now, but sooner or later he’ll see that everything that happened to him is my fault, even the fact that his powers showed up—”
You had to stop talking when your voice cracked and you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, sniffling again. He reached out for a second as if he wanted to wipe at the tears falling down your cheeks but then paused, pulling his hand back, his jaw clenching like he was in pain. You wiped at your eyes furiously, letting out a shaky breath.
“I’m terrible at this,” you said, nodding to yourself while Logan kept his burning gaze on you.
“I promise you, you’re not,” he said. “Theo adores you, and I think you’re the best parent I’ve ever seen in my life which in case it has escaped your notice, that’s a lot of years.”
You raised your brows, wiping at your nose before you cleared your throat and took off the jacket to place it into his lap, then stood up with Logan following you suit.
“I can drive you home,” he said and you threw your shoulders back, trying to pull yourself together.
“I had like three sips of whiskey, I can drive.”
“I can still drive you, it’s been a long night.”
“I’m fine.”
“No I want to,” he insisted and you tilted your head, giving him a questioning look. His eyes met yours before he took a deep breath.
“I just…” he trailed off. “I want to—I want to make myself useful.”
You frowned, staring at him. “Why?”
“No reason,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t ask for anything, just…like I said. I want to make myself useful. I need to make myself useful.”
Your stomach did a flip as a painful smile curled your lips.
Oh.
This. You were familiar with this.
You had been through the same. You were in fact going through the same right now, frantically looking for something to ease the pain. Your solution was to follow your friends’ advice and try to date around, ignoring the way it just felt wrong when you were still in love with him, and Logan—
Logan was dealing with it in such a Logan way that it was almost ironic how you didn’t see it coming.
“It’s not going to help,” you said, your voice a mere whisper and he gulped, his jaw clenching.
“It could,” he managed to say through his teeth and you sniffled, shaking your head.
“It won’t,” you rasped out. “I’m sorry, it won’t.”
The agony that flashed over his handsome features twisted at your heart but you managed to smile at him.
“Good night Logan,” you murmured and walked away from him, painfully aware of his eyes following you.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#james howlett#logan howlett imagine#logan x you#james logan howlett#logan xmen#wolverine logan
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Mermaid Hotel
Word Count: 2,198
Summary: When Thomas decides to stick you and Rafayel in a cheesy themed mermaid suite, he thinks he’s getting revenge on Rafayel. Little did he know the room came with a water bed, and Rafayel is very good at controlling the tides.
Tags: Smut, water bed sex, NSFW, porn with very little plot
A/N: Sooo, this might not be my best work but I needed some practice to get over my writers block, so bam. Water bed sex. Read at your own risk, but MDNI! Enjoy all you Raf girlyss~
Rafayel had invited me on an impromptu trip to his latest art gallery. He was very insistent on it since he claimed the city where the gala was being held had the most beautiful beaches. I needed a break from the insane influx of wanderers, so I agreed. It would take us two days to get to the city we needed to be in since we had a late layover flight.
Thomas was usually in charge of all of Rafayel’s travel plans, I guess he was frantic when Raf demanded last minute that I be added as a plus one. I feel bad for Thomas sometimes, since Rafayel can be very demanding, but I know the bickering between the two in a way, feels almost familial. Though, little did we anticipate, Thomas had a small version of revenge up his sleeve.
Me and Rafayel were a bit exhausted from our long flight and were sluggish in the hotel lobby. However, as soon as we reached our room, we were jolted with surprise.
The neon moodlighting reflected off the clear plastic of fake bubbles along the walls, there were fishnets and various aquatic themed posters also on the walls. It was a mermaid themed room.
“Now this is just offensive,” Rafayel’s face contourted in disgust at the kitsch decor of the room.
I felt a burst of laughter erupt from my chest at this ordeal, “I guess this is what you get for giving Thomas gray hairs.” I set my bags down and began to take a look at all the cute mermaid and fish themed nicknacks that had adorned the dresser below the tv.
With a drained sigh he walks over to the bed that has a giant seashell headboard, he stares at it and reaches out to poke it, “A water bed really? That’s so outdated.” Rafayel rolls his eyes and scoffs at the bed as if it personally offended him.
I turn with wide eyes, “Really? I’ve never slept on a water bed before.”
Rafayel chuckles, “It’s not exactly practical cutie.” He then pauses briefly as his eyes catch something on the dresser.
I quirk my head at his sudden peak of interest as he walks over and grabs an iridescent blue vase, it almost looks like an antique perfume bottle. Rafayel inspects it by trying to swish it around and determine if there’s liquid inside.
“What is it?” I ask.
“It couldn’t possibly be what I think it is, there’s no way a cheap hotel like this would have Lumerian scents…” He popped the topper off the vase and inhaled. Suddenly, it was like a switch had been flipped.
Rafayel immediately started panting and groaning.
“Raf? Are you okay?” I touched his shoulder to check on him and he tried to push me off with a slight hiss.
“This is…” he gasped as one of his hands clasped at the front of his shirt, “It’s…Lumerian…It’s a pheromone…One a bride would typically use on her wedding.”
He seemed in agony as he closed the vase and fell to his knees on the floor. His purple-pinkish eyes nearly looked black as he looked up at me with nothing but desperation painted across his face as he whimpered my name.
“Help….I…I can't, I need you right now….” He gasped and raised his torso to hug my legs and nuzzle into them with desperation.
I was at a loss of words at this sudden shift, but with the tight grip he had on the back of my thigh and the look in his eye, I let out a shaky breath and nodded, “I’m not sure what happened to you, but whatever you need. I’m yours…”
As soon as the words left my mouth, Rafayel stood and lifted me by my hips as he threw my back against the bed. As I fell back, the plop of water sloshing resounded in my ear as the next thing I knew Rafayel’s lips were on my neck as his hands lifted up my legs.
“Raf-“ I gasped at his boldness, his actions were hurried and desperate as he tried to hold on to my body desperately as if I would drift off like the waves of the water beneath us.
“Shhh, I need this right now or I’ll go crazy…Let me take care of you my beloved bride,” he groans as he slides off my leggings and panties all at once.
He lets out a shaky breath at my exposed form and I start to feel dizzy as Rafayel then begins to drool on my bare sex and licks his lips as he brings his face down to give an experimental lick. I arch my body up and close my thighs around his head, trapping his face to my hole.
He doesn’t move as he just sensually licks and sucks at me like he’s savoring his favorite ice cream. My moans are drowned out in my own ears as I can hear nothing but the water in the bed slosh around. It felt like I had laid back in the bathtub and could hear only sounds of water moving with my body, except, unlike the bathtub, the only thing wet was the mixture of slick and saliva as Rafayel ate me out.
My thighs gripped his face harder as he purposely sucked my sensitive bud, “C-Close…I’m close,” I gasped.
I received nothing but a happy humm in response, the vibrations of his voice sending me over the edge as I moaned with fervor at my release.
“Rafa….” I gapped as I opened my thighs to release his face. He pulled back and stared at me with those dark eyes as he undid his belt. His cheeks and ears were a bit tinged in a blush as his purple fluffy hair was now disheveled and his lower lips covered in my essence.
Never breaking eye contact, he ripped his high waisted black pants down and his usual low cut white shirt was gone in an instant as he crawled on top of my body. The motion of him climbing on top of me caused the water to propel me even closer to him as my bare cunt brushed against his still covered lower half.
As I could feel his hard length against me, I was taken aback as he laughed deeply in my ear. The reveberations of his laughter caused the waterbed to shake abit and I was moving up and down like I was floating in a lazy river. “What’s so funny?” I asked as he looked down at me with a bright and cheeky smirk, his usual teasing pink coloring returning to his eyes.
“You should see how you look right now, like a birdy drowning in the sea with how much you keep moving back and forth.”
“Well, I’m being swallowed by the motion of the water, what else am I supposed to do? How are you so composed on this thing?”
He sat up as he began to take off his boxers, a confident and arrogant expression painting his face, “Me and the waters are one and the same,” after he finished undressing and I can see his dripping length standing straight as he comes closer to whisper in my ear once more, “We’re both unpredictable and all encompassing.”
With that his hands slide down my torso to then lift up my shirt and push it over my head, his mouth meeting the pebbles of my now erect nipples. I let out a small moan at the sensation and desperation of his suckling mouth on my chest.
With a pop his mouth leaves my nipple as he laughs while moving his hips to make the water shake me, I’m at a loss as the waves make my body move sporadically. I try and sit up to have a similar vantage as Rafayel, but he meets my lips in a passionate kiss as I lay flat against my back.
“Are you ready for me my bride?” His voice is almost unfamiliar as its deep purr resounds into my very core and I shiver.
I let out a shaky yes and suddenly I gasp as he slams a knee into the bed and suddenly the motion of my body slides to connect him and me in one swift motion. “N-no fair! That was sneaky!”
“Shhh, you know you love it cutie,” he laughs as both of his hands grip the sides of my hips. Rafayel’s lips trail into the crook of my neck as his hips send crashing waves into the bed as he thrusts in and out of me with a smooth rhythm.
“I must say, this is actually fulfilling some fantasies of mine.”
I whine as he hits a sensitive spot within me and bites down on my neck, “Raf-Please.” I feel breathless as my body is floating in pleasure with every crash of our hips. The water surrounding us in this cheap mattress make me feel as if I’m drowning in an endless ocean of pleasure. I was drowning in Rafayel’s very being, and I never wanted to come up for air.
“Please,” he mocks me in a deep voice, “I should make you beg more for the way you’re driving me wild.” He removes his face from my neck and meets my lips to force them to open for him. With a moan he sucks on my tongue and his hips speed up.
The wetness of our bodies and groans of exctasy mix with the sounds of splashing waves of the bed below us. My nails find their way to Rafayels back and I drag them down as I feel my crescendo reaching.
I pull away from his lips and lean my back and yell out his name. “Rafayel!”
He lets out a shaky breath as he continues at a relentless pace, “Not yet, just a bit more cutie.” Rafayel grunts as he presses me deeper into the sinking bed. I clench around him unable to control my own bodily reactions.
“I can’t! Rafayel please,” I can feel tears welling in the corner of my eyes from trying my best to hold off my orgasm, but finally as his hips slam even deeper within me, I lose myself.
“Come for me, my beloved bride,” he pants as he keeps the same rhythm.
I feel weightless as my legs shake from intense pleasure and the rest of my body goes slack as Rafayel keeps chasing his high. I lightly drag my fingers up from the scratched I made on his back to reach up into the hair at the nape of his neck.
I dig my fingers in a bit gently and pull as my eyes meet his intense purple gaze, “Let go Rafayel…”
His face contorts into an almost melancholic pout as he scrunches his eyes closed and with a final thrust that resounds a smack throughout the cheesy themed room, I feel the warmth of his spend drip into me.
Rafayel pants and collapses ontop of me as he hums with pleasure in his voice as his body is still painting my insides.
“Well that certainly is one for the books for me,” my voice is a bit gravelly and hoarse as I laugh at the absurdity of our situation.
“I actually think I might have to thank Thomas instead of yelling at him,” Rafayel grumbles into my chest.
“And here I thought you didn’t like water beds,” I started to run my hands through his hair as I teased him.
“You know I think I might buy a couple for my studio now,” he props his chin up on my chest and looks at me with a cheeky smirk, “Only if you test them out with me.”
“While this was fun, I don’t know how fun sleeping on this will actually be.”
He reached a hand out to touch my cheek, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on them, “Who said anything about sleeping?”
After a few spent moments of us basking in the after glow, we got up and cleaned ourselves off to actually get some needed sleep. As I glanced back at that blue bottle on the counter, I couldn’t help my curiosity.
“Rafayel, what is that pheromone that made you crazy? You said something about Lumeria, right?”
He crosses his arm and stares at me with a pout, “Well, I’m not sure you need to know what it is, just know that I’ll be taking that stuff with me to use at a further date. So prepare yourself miss bodyguard, because next time you won’t walk away so easily from me.”
“Is that a threat?” I laugh as he lays down next to me and captures me in his arms. He once again manipulates the unease of the waters below us to push my body as close as possible to his.
“Oh cutie, it’s a promise.” He kisses the crown of my head as the waves and the warmth of his arms help me drift off to a peaceful slumber.
That night I dream of a life underseas and a purpled haired merman worshiping my body with the waves surrounding us.
~fin~
#love and deepspace#lads fanfic#lads smut#lads x reader#lads rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#lads rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel x reader
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"I think so but their paws are so fuzzy that its hard to tell...But guess what else, some times they wear little water droplets like hats" *he said with a cheerful chirping noise escaping him. Shadow purrs happily and a bit loudly* "Oh? That's good to hear, He just has that kind of sphere of influence around him" *he noticed your expression and guessed you had been told about it at some point* "I'm guessing you know as well? I remember that when i first heard about what that looney snake lady and those mothers had been up to; I felt so disgusted....especially with the so-called mothers who so willingly let their literal infants be devoured....I probably would have gone and picked a fight with them personally had i known sooner" *He remembered being rather testy after finding out about them that he actually threatened to punch gyokko in the cloaca if he didn't leave him alone, luckily both muzan and kokushibo were aware as to why he was particularly upset and dragged the pesky fish away before it escalated* "Anyways...I actually only taught those who are here myself, Sugar actually taught the rest with only a little help from me"
*One quiet night you happen to get the feeling that you are being observed from somewhere by someone with a strong sense of curiosity. Rui was perched in the branches of a nearby tree, watching you. He had yet to actually even see the infamous flower hashira even through his spiders and had only heard about her from other demons that had only caught fleeting glimpses, which on one hand was a good thing he supposed but on the other it had gotten him a bit more curious that usual and had been bothering him like an unreachable itch. He was already quite terrified of the insect hashira after the last raid and getting so deep into her territory was unnerving enough, but from what Rui could tell, Kanae actually seemed rather nice.*
She listened around for the demon that she felt nearby. She didn’t notice any malicious intent so she hoped that she’d be able to redeem and save it. She quietly wandered through the forest before vanishing and appearing next to Rui. “Hello there little on. Are you looking for me?” She smiles kindly at the young boy and inspects his appearance. He didn’t look too strong but looks can be deceiving.
#kny rui#kny rp#demon slayer rui#demon slayer rui rp#kny rui rp#demon slayer rp blog#demon slayer rp#🕸responds#rui ayaki lower5#kanae kocho
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what is up with them and why am i loving it
#hermitcraft#grian#geminitay#hermitcraft ten#the fishing bit is so good. to me. personally#sheep.png
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"I decided it's my break day today, Oh coincidentally, I'm gonna sit here, and watch you work." also it's too cute how Nemo just came run at me whenever i sat on a bench
#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas unsuur#mtas builder#mtas nemo#fanart#FHSDHdhsds tbh HIS PINNING WAS EXCITING#but after that HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE ANY OTHER STORIES at ALL to tell during DATE HELP fhasdhdhsd#he is JUST like Sebek I'M CRYINg @sebek stop talking about ur malleus sama guard duty @unsuur stop talking only about the civil corps fshds#i'm dying my heart is faltering from the monotony; but just like the rule of thumb on every fandom; it depends to us to enrich the characte#so now i'm trying to enhance my delusional level & it's working right now when i sat there & watched him work#Maybe I was HASTY because HE WAS the first fish that BIT; andeverygamehasthatcharacterthatissoveryeasytogetbutwithlessdepthinthem#BUT thinking back#HE is REALLY A NICE GUY#WITH A NICE HEART that's just IN THE RIGHT PLACE; and HE IS FUNNY TO BOOT fshdshdj#i actually cried when he talked about what his proudest stack of stones meant to him#because the value in it hits too close to home#and when he said pls tell me if i no longer have a good personality bcs i would like to be the first one to know#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE FACE ON THE LEMON SOUP FSHDHSSFHSDH#I FELL RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE#I FELL FOR HIM FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS#HE IS TOO CUTE AND SINCERE AND QUIRKY#DID YOU GUYS SEE WHEN HE JUST STRAIGHT WENT TO BED AFTER PAINTING FHSDHSDHSD I CAN'T; I LOST IT RIGHT THERE#everytime he said SET THE MOOD I'M DONE FHSDHSDH i am not sure if i should be glad or not that the music he plays when painting never retur#even when he said he's gonna SET THE MOOD again FHADHS it's way TOO FUNNY I JUST CAN'T
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Party (group) party (celebratory)! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Gyrados#Ninetales#Sableye#Ampharos#Banette#Politoed#Pikachu#The lot! Mostly my SoulSilver guys but a kind of general mishmash of nostalgia and aiming-fors#Even tho I played Yellow when I was quite a bit younger I never beat it or got particularly attached to my 'mon and ended up selling it#Mistake I know blame the folly of youth lol#So I really consider Soul Silver as my ''first'' game - though I beat X before SS pfft just can't make it simple eh!#But I got veryyy attached to my SSteam <3 It's fun to watch them grow in the photo album! Can see most of them as babies :D#I ended up with a Vulpix named Beauty since Ninetales is my favourite Pokemon <3 I knew she'd grow into a beauty! Thusly named#And a Magikarp that I thought would be ironically funny to name Beast because well - y'know lol#Did not even occur to me Once that they'd be Beauty and Beast haha - the reasoning is so strongly connected it just didn't register!#They're a fun duo :) Fire and Water Fish and Fox hehe <3 Cute lads!#Group of four was speculations about building a really ideal team for me - Mareep Line Obviously and Ninetales goes without saying#Sableye is another really obvious one lol I love Sableye so muuuuchhhh aghhh <3 <3#Banette wouldn't exactly fill in many gaps but I've always leaned more towards Ghost and Psychic types#The Politoed doodles were just for funsies tho lol I really can't decide on a Water type I like that I haven't already exhausted!#They're silly little frog guys which I do enjoy haha#Probably not my personal pick but I like them :)#The aforementioned Yellow playthrough had me with a Pikachu I named Sparks which I then wrote fanfic about haha#Baby's first fanfic and fanart were both Pokemon! I have no idea where it'd be now as it was in a notebook but I remember the gist at least#Thought it'd be nice to bring him back to visit <3#And then some silly ones for myself lol what's a good trainer pose!#I think they're all silly lol but I do like the middle one :D#I'd love a Pokeball shirt like that! All the Pokemon things pls and thank you!
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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sometimes I forget that I have creative freedom over my projects and I can put tiny little references to my favorite stories in there
#I started texturing a boat I modeled and I want to put a name on the hull#and I’m extremely bad at naming stuff but then I realized that it literally doesn’t matter and I can name the boat either A5158 or A258#because no one will know I named it after the ginger mafia guy from the author fanfic manga#also putting a mackerel into my scene so my chuuya boat can have a matching Dazai fish <3#I love seeing little references to other media in games because you can always see a bit of the devs personalities in there#the longer I’m studying the more I have forgotten to put a bit of that part of my personality in my projects too#also I don’t have too much time left on my project so these past weeks and next few weeks have been/will be super stressful…#I’m doing great time wise but I want to do a lot of additional stuff and getting everything done and polished will be a close call u_u#but I wanna do fanart so bad rn I have two wips and dozens of other ideas#<- a good drawing session could fix me#watching the new episode without drawing fanart will be hard :( but only 3 1/2 more weeks until I have free time again#but at the same time only 3 1/2 weeks left until I’m done with my project u_u and my degree u_u#sina’s rambling#uni tag
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for the ask game, 24 and 4 perhaps??? :D
whats a compliment about your art that has always stuck with you?
Oh gosh, everything that anyone has ever said, really. But I feel like i have to just. <33333!!!!! about anything tumblr user camlannpod has said about my art for their show. I love drawing Camlann art and it makes me so happy that I can return that happiness to them!! Everyone listen to Camlann right now. It’s so good
piece you wish got more love?
I had to think for a minute but you know what? The TMA clue board I made with my friends. I don’t think that showed up in the tags, but we put. So Much effort into that and I had really wished that more people would see it. Lia especially made an absolutely STUNNING board for it, and I was really happy with all the cards I made!! It’s also just so fun to play. We get dressed up and I bake something and make tea/hot chocolate. Highly recommend. Posts about it here and here :D
#hello camlannpod I know we are mutuals so there is a nonzero chance of you seeing this#I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again thank you for such a beautiful show#I love being inspired by it#if camlann has 1000 fans I am one of them if camlann has 1 fan it is. probably not me it’s probably ella watts#but you get the point. that meme#I’ll shut up now I don’t know how to be a person online#but sometimes you’re doing grain size analysis and then you get a message from the podcast creators and you freak out a little bit#because that’s a first#anyways I’ll be normal. listen to camlann guys#also like yesterday tech (hi tech) said my watercolor was good and I’ll be honest I almost started crying#thank you tech I really appreciated that one#my dad also compared bram stokers writing to mine once and I’ve been riding that high since but that was a writing thing so I didn’t say it#I’ll shut up for real now#people are just so nice to me <33333#thanks for the ask!!! :D#fish’s-answers
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Going on a trip with my friends in less than a month sooooo excited. However. While we will mostly be eating quick and easy meals or going out I would like to cook a nice meal for them at least one evening of our trip. The problem is that one of them is the pickiest mfer alive and the other is vegetarian so I feel the need to prep weeks in advance lol
#i'll eat basically anything#the vegetarian friend does have exceptions for like. meat thats been hunted/fished or farm raised by ppl they know personally.#so that gives me a bit of leeway but not very much#bc that means the options are either moose meat thats been in my parents freezer for months#or whatever i can fish up immediately b4 we leave bc im kinda worried abt fish not keeping very long#<- it is a roadtrip btw and we are staying in a cabin with a whole kitchen inclsuing fridge and freezer#so its rlly just a matter of transportation#i could just default to pasta bc its easy and im good at it but its also kinda... boring#burgers are also easy bc i could just make a veggie burger and then picky friend can leave their burger as bland as they please#however. thats still boring!!#idk. taking suggestions ig.#txt
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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painting a mackerel today :]
#taking a break from digital art for a bit bc my computer is fucked up#so im getting around to finally painting a bunch of little ceramic things ive got laying around#ive got...m tiny glow in the dark ghost..... fish that i am going 2 make into a mackerel.... mushrooms in a lil terrarium#:]#going 2 make mackerel part of my brand more. theyre so pretty#i finally got to the zora in the totk playthru im watching and i looove them so much#i want 2 draw a mackerel zora#u know how. youtubers will sometimes draw themselves/have people draw them as characters in the game theyre playing for thumbnails#randomly got like. the impulse to dothat for myself earlier#god. would love 2 make youtube videos someday. when i havemy own space again and money to afford a non-laptop computer#i wanna be a mackerel zora!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think i wanna make myself a little logo sometime#like.... if i actually am serious abt making sellable art one day (which i would LOVE to do btw)#i wanna.... have a little ghost/mackerel combination logo#like a fish whos body turns to bones halfway down or something. idk. im not super good at concepts like that but i wanna try#im not a graphic design person but... man.. would love 2 have a little guy#idk its ramble time today#having a lot of feelings abt art. pride made me feel things abt being sn artist#i wanna make stuff like that. i wanna be able to sell things like that.#have a little booth i can decorate with moss and mushrooms and fish and ghosts and things. make it Mine.#and make stuff that ppl think is cool. man. idk#head in hands. i have so much work to do
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who knew skateboarding was exhausting?
#went skating in the parking lot for an hour#almost fell but i managed to stay balanced for more than 30 sec so already that’s a good sign 😁#the tony hawk board is the perfect size but the wheels aren’t agreeing w/ me#the fish board is a bit big for my taste but the wheels are so smooth and i really like riding it#anyway the conclusion is that if i were able to put my favorite parts of each board together i would have the perfect skateboard#also skateboarding and any other board riding is indeed a sport#personal
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#tag talk#we're lowkey making huge progress between us! I'm trying to allow space for Lear to speak even when I'm running the show#I'm a little overbearing I guess. hard to even think about him when I'm in control#but we managed to have a bit of a conversation!!! which honestly might be the best we've ever done in terms of dialogue#usually it's vague thoughts back and forth and then radio silence between us until the slight shift as we switch places#we need to get better at communicating because sharing a partner means we need to communicate about stuff#and sure. neither of us are good at sharing our emotional needs but we can get better it just takes practice#anyway this is cool and I love my boyfriend and I love my headmate a lot he's been through a lot with me#communicating is so important and I'm glad we made it happen.#I keep saying I and then changing to we because I need to not take all the credit for the progress we've made. he deserves some credit too.#but yeah. huge progress. learning to accept my duality and talk about it openly and learn to communicate between the two halves#instead of shutting myself away in a closet somewhere I wanna learn to be open about who I am.#I learned to do that with being gay. I learned to do that last year with being trans. and I'm hopefully learning to do that with plurality#one of these days I'll run out of personal problems to solve. but at least I have a clear goal for personal growth this year now.#here I thought if I could figure out being trans I wouldn't have any more issues to work on. hahaha I was so wrong hhhhhhhh#anyway bye I'm gonna get up and cook some fish and broccoli and rice for breakfast
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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide
This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.
How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:
The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours
It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people
Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.
Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.
Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)
The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.
It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*
If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people
So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.
Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit
Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen
Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **
General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.
Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something
Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill
* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them
** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone
Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty
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#i dun rly know but#some part of me is like: oh. im not hot.#my friends are all way hotter and prettier than me and i look like a fucking creature around them#and idk... i think its so natural for people to be in love with my friends#but i cannot believe someone would ever really like me. not for my looks. not for my personality.#i think. i never really was complimented. and when i was/am (by my parents) its always for an ulterior motive#its always 'ure so pretty. if only u just got thinner/put on makeup/dressed up nicer/stop being so loud'#like.... yay. glad to know no one really just likes me i guess#its always 'i like nycto but........“#theres always a fucking but in thesentence and i think that destroys me a bit inside#its also the fact that i do in fact know i have all these flaws/deficiencies/caveats#and its also just... i have a newly discovered fear of 'what if people talk to me because theyre just interested in my friend?'#which is somewhat irrational. but... gosh. my friends are just so much better hotter and cooler than me#i will just never be good enough. everyone else will always just be.... better than me#i wish i were hot. i know im aroace but fuck#i wish i didnt feel like an ugly awkward meatsack when my friends talk about their pretty privilege or when they get fawned over#because my friends ARE cool and wonderful. i rly do like them. but its with that sense of an ugly fish looking up at the most dazzling bird
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