#i think. i never really was complimented. and when i was/am (by my parents) its always for an ulterior motive

[confusedsiewmai]

-

[jishyucks]

⋆.˚ Twinkle, Twinkle ˚.⋆ — lmk (Teaser)

‣ pairing: mark lee x reader

‣  genre: fluff, friends-to-lovers

‣ current wc: 5.6k (so far), about 65% done, predicted 10k

‣ summary: The world is sick and tired of your and Mark’s inability to understand feelings. With a friendship that has lasted longer than you can count on your fingers and friends who can tell you’re both utterly in love with each other, the universe decides to make use of its different light forms to tip you both over the edge of friendship.

‣ warnings (so far): some cliches?, like one kms joke, mentions of alcohol, mentions of vomiting (cause of alcohol)

‣ an: this idea has been rotting in my drafts since like February and i finally got the motivation to write it yippeeee,,, tag list maybe? just ask!

Without light, it’d be awfully difficult to see (duh)

Mark’s bed was the 2nd most comfiest bed in the world, a close runner-up to your parents’.

His mother truly chose the perfect pillow for you to use, paired with a blanket that complimented it well. They both smelled like fresh laundry, an aroma you were familiar with because your best friend smelled exactly like this.

The clock on Mark’s nightstand reads 12:23 AM, moonlight pushing past his closed shutters to emit a bit of its light into his room. Its light does poorly, giving the glow-in-the-dark stars on Mark’s ceiling a chance to emerge through the darkness.

Your mind’s filled with thoughts of the conclusion of the movie you both had just watched—Tangled—and your younger self could not help but think…

“Mark?” you called out into the darkness, “Mark, are you awake?”

There’s shuffling in the space next to you and then you hear Mark hum, “I’m awake. Why?”

You hesitate to ask the question that’s been keeping your brain occupied ever since the credits started rolling. But knowing Mark, he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“Do you…”

You can barely see Mark’s head lift up to look at you in the darkness, bedhead creating a jagged outline.

“Do you think I’ll ever fall in love and get married like Rapunzel did in the movie?”

Your mind replays the clips of Rapunzel and Eugene underneath the lanterns, lights creating a scene you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.

Mark hums again, something that he did when he was deep in thought. Your question wasn’t too far-fetched. He’s overheard a lot of the other girls in his class talking about crushes they’ve had on other classmates or squealing over that one idol he couldn’t remember the name of. The only difference now was that these thoughts were coming out of you.

“Do you think you won’t?” Was Mark’s reply.

At the time, you really didn’t know what you were saying, barely having the knowledge to understand the deeper meaning of it all.

Love and marriage? You weren’t aware that you had skipped practically everything before that.

“I think so.”

Mark doesn’t reply for a long while, long enough to convince you that he had fallen asleep the second you answered his question. But when you feel the bed dip, you can make out that he is now sitting up and reaching for his lamp.

Click!

You let out a quiet hiss, squeezing your eyes shut because you’re suddenly blinded.

Mark snorts, “Sorry, I should’ve warned you.”

There’s movement on his end again, the blankets softly rustling. You’re not sure what Mark was trying to do, but once you finally open your eyes, the first thing you see in the lowly-lit room are his eyes shining back at you, mouth opened slightly because he was going to say something. He’s propped up on his elbows, crushing the barrier pillow between you both.

“Why’d you have to turn the light on?” You scoot yourself up to face your best friend.

Mark shrugs as chews on his bottom lip in search of words, “I just feel like it’ll mean more if you could see me saying it.”

“Saying what?”

“You’ll find your happily ever after,” Mark says seriously. You can tell just by the way he looked at you that he was serious. Not even a hint of kidding looming behind his pupils. You forget that Mark was such an optimist.

Your brows furrow, unsure whether or not you should take this boy seriously. “And how are you so sure about that?”

Mark’s eyes reflect the light coming from his lamp and he grins. It’s almost creepy the way he does, like he has something hidden up his sleeve.

“I just am.”

[wintaerbaer]

things we don’t say: part 1 (kth)

banner credit goes to the absolutely incredible @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (they’re so, SO stupid), slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 8.4k

series warnings: swearing, sexual themes, one instance of mild violence, alcohol use, infidelity, brief mentions of neglectful parents and alcoholism

chapter warnings: potty mouths, oc teasingly threatens her friends, art world inaccuracies (probably, idk how art shows work), fns music festival dynamite performance taehyung (BLESSED), friends who can’t mind their own business, quick backstory on the aforementioned shitty parenting, oc needs (and has) a drink

a/n: so here is my first foray back into writing after being out of the game for several years! big shout outs to @itaeewon​ / @jeonqkooks​ for the banner and encouragement as well as @taegularities​ for giving me writing advice and letting me cry in her inbox every time i got frustrated with this. they’re also both INCREDIBLE writers so go show them some love once you’re done here!

 SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

“She was checking you out.”

“She was not checking me out.”

“Kim Taehyung, she was so checking you out!”

“No.”

“She tucked her hair behind her ear and gave you the ‘come hither’ head tilt.”

Taehyung makes a face. “No one says that anymore, and that’s a perfectly normal gesture to make in everyday conversation.”

“When you want to get someone’s pants off.”

He shushes you, eyes flicking over to the nearby tables in the mostly-empty dining room with all of its dim lights and dark wood paneling. The bar had been a go-to for you and your friends in college, boasting a wide variety of burgers, sandwiches, and wraps that could even satisfy Jungkook and his bottomless appetite. Though your visits have become fewer and farther in between after graduation, nostalgia occasionally drags you back for a lunch or round of late-night drinks, which is how you’ve wound up here on a bright Saturday afternoon.

“You should ask for her number.”

“I am not asking her for her num—!”

“Can I get you anything?”

Taehyung’s face turns bright red as the waitress materializes at the side of your table as if on cue. It’s subtle, but she bats her eyelashes at him, body angled in his direction as if you’re not even there. You raise an eyebrow at him from across the table. See?

“I think we’re ready to order,” you say, mostly to put Taehyung out of his misery as he wordlessly stammers at the blonde.

You’d think he’s never seen a girl before in his life.

The waitress jots your orders down before strolling away in the direction of the kitchen, and you’d swear she’s swinging her hips a little more dramatically than before. You turn towards Taehyung.

“Told you.”

“I said no,” he says sheepishly, cheeks still brushed with pink. “Besides, she looks like she’s probably still in college.”

“You look like you’re probably still in college.” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “And we’re not that old, Tae. You could date a college student.”

“Pass.”

You sigh, leaning back in your seat. “Fine, but we still need to find you a date to the wedding. Can’t let those youthful good looks go to waste.”

Taehyung huffs in faux annoyance, but his lips quirk up at the compliment. “I’m not bringing a date.”

“So you say, but I’m going to change your mind.”

His smile widens. “Oh, really?”

“Really.” You hold out a pinky, and he only hesitates a moment before linking his with yours.

“Okay, we’ll see.”

You fall into one of your usual conversation patterns as you ask about how his job is going. He tells you about the upcoming art show at the gallery where he works as a curator, doing some freelance photography as a side gig. He’d managed to snag Maya, one of the aforementioned friends, a spot in it, and he smiles as he gushes over how great her pieces turned out, cheeks lightly flushed with what you interpret as pride. The two of them met freshman year as photography majors and quickly developed into friends and partners, challenging each other artistically and now occasionally teaming up to shoot larger weddings and events.

It makes pride warm your own belly, seeing him flourish and succeed in the field he had always dreamed of. Photography had been an outlet for him throughout high school, a vital reprieve from the insulated struggles of your shared childhood. Taehyung has never been a negative person, never weighed down in spite of the home life which would have given him every justifiable reason to become jaded. Still, you’d watched a new light bloom in him after he discovered photography as if the camera lens truly gave him a fresh way of seeing the world.

And you’ve always loved seeing happiness spill from your best friend.

Your food is just being brought to the table when Jimin comes shuffling up in a zombie-like trance, eyes wide and mouth slack.

"Finally made i—woah, are you alright?"

Jimin drops into a seat, glazed eyes fixated on the window overlooking the street.

"Maya and Kook are hooking up."

Taehyung chokes on his drink, water spraying onto his plate, while your jaw hits the floor.

"They're what?!"

"What the fuck?!"

Jimin works his jaw before wiping his hands over his face, "Yup."

You and Taehyung gape at him.

"What in the name of God would make you say that?" you ask emphatically, just as Taehyung says, "They hate each other."

"I don't know. Probably because I just caught her straddling him on our couch half-naked. But it’s just a feeling."

"Oh my God, we don't need to know that!"

"Our couch?!"

Jimin scrubs a hand over his face again as if he could wipe the image from his brain. “Yeah, I…can’t say I’m entirely surprised, but, Jesus, I did not need to see that with my own two eyes.”

“Okay, wait, wait,” you say, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to clear your thoughts. “You’re sure it was Maya—not another one of his random hook-ups?”

“You think I don’t know what she looks like?” Jimin asks, pulling a face. “Look, she stopped by to grab some camera equipment Tae left for her and said she was going to hang around for a minute to wait for an Uber. I was already late for here so I left, but I forgot my wallet. When I went back they were…compromised. And I didn’t exactly stick around to interrogate them.” He frowns again, turning to Taehyung. “Speaking of, can you cover me for lunch?”

“This is unreal. Fucking unreal,” you fume. “I’m going to kill them.”

“Is it really all that surprising?” Jimin asks. “Somewhere in all of their bickering and nagging and constant frowning at each other was always some thinly-veiled sexual tension.” When you glare at him, he adds, “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t sleep with her.”

“That’s not the problem, Chim. You know how this shit goes.” You rub a thumb between your eyes, trying to ease the sudden tension there. “They already fight all the time, and sex only ever complicates things. How long until this blows up and we’re forced to choose sides?”

And that’s the crux of your worry—a disaster seems inevitable. Maya and Jungkook have always been clear about their bare tolerance of each other, seeing it as a necessary evil for the benefit of the rest of your friendships. And while their arguments and bickering have been relatively muted in recent years after you, Taehyung, and Jimin had put down a collective foot and told them you were tired of hearing their shit, you are not eager to see them test the fragile thread that links all of you.

You’ve dealt with enough instability regarding the people in your life; the last thing you need is more.

The waitress comes up to take Jimin’s order while Taehyung studies you as you press the heels of your palms to your eyes.

“Hey,” he says as the waitress walks off again, a hand sliding across the table in your direction but not quite making it there. “No one is getting divorced or anything. Just talk to Maya first. We really don’t even know what’s going on here.”

Jimin lets out a puff of air. “I do. He had his hand up her—” He shuts his mouth as both you and Taehyung shoot daggers at him.

After a moment, your fingers tap absent-mindedly over your phone. “Yeah, I guess I’ll talk to her tonight. We’re supposed to go dress shopping for the art show.”

“Gotta get something nice for Jace?” Jimin asks, wiggling an eyebrow. You smirk back at him.

“No, he can’t make it. Work has him putting in overtime like crazy for their annual convention in a few weeks.”

“How is he doing—Jace?” Taehyung asks. His tone is light, but as Jimin turns to look at him, he notices his hand on the table had closed into a fist.

“He’s good,” you say, the tension finally melting out of your face as your eyes light up. “He’s been incredibly upbeat lately, actually—more romantic even.” There’s a pause as you hesitate. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was going to…you know.” You wave faintly with your left hand.

Jimin’s eyes go wide. “You think he’s planning to pro—” You quickly press a finger over your lips, and Jimin slaps a hand to his thigh. “Fuck yes! About damn time. Hey,” he settles his face in his palm and stares off dreamily. “Can I be your maid of honor?” Then, when you giggle, “Don’t laugh. I would look great in a dress.”

“I’ll put you on the short list,” you say, turning towards your food as Jimin pumps a fist. “But no more talk about that. I’ve waited damn long enough and do not want to jinx it.”

Taehyung’s knuckles had gone white.

“It’s really none of your business,” Maya says, picking up a bright purple, thigh-length dress off the rack and holding it up to her shoulders. “How about this one?”

“Too short.” She puts it back. “And I beg to differ. When something stands to get between two of my best friends who I care about deeply, I think that makes it my business.” When Maya doesn’t say anything, still nonchalantly flipping through dresses, you press on. “You know this can’t end well, right? You’re adding sex to an already volatile relationship, and I don’t like the idea of the friend group having to split if and when the two of you implode.”

“First of all, we’re not your damn parents. Kook may be a walking man child, but the rest of us are mature adults. We’d figure it out,” Maya says. She holds up a green gown, frowns, and returns it. Turning towards you, she quirks an eyebrow. “Second of all, who says that this morning was the first time?”

Your jaw drops. As you stand speechless, Maya resumes her dress perusal.

“Wha—how long?” you finally choke out.

“Ooh, this is pretty.” Maya pulls out a deep red cocktail dress, silver roses adorning the fabric. Catching the look on your face, she says, “Two years, give or take.”

“Two—!” you squeak before shaking your head. “No. No fucking way. You two can barely be in the same room for two minutes let alone sleep together for two years.”

Maya smirks. “Turns out he can do much better things with his mouth when he’s not using it to talk out of his ass.”

“Maya, oh my God!”

“What? You wanted to make it your business, right?”

You take a breath to steady yourself. “Look, I am just worried about you guys, okay? That’s it. You’re two of my best friends, and I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. And I certainly don’t want to be put into a situation where I have to choose between you.”

“That won’t happen,” Maya says, trailing off towards a dressing room. “For someone to get hurt, there’d have to be actual feelings involved, and the only feeling he gives me is a migraine.” She slips into a changing stall while you lean against the wall, still trying to wrap your head around what you’re hearing.

“Besides,” Maya’s voice sounded from behind the curtain, “Jimin only found out because of his stupid wallet, and he notices everything. If we could fool him for that long with no problems…” She pulls the curtain back. The red fabric of the dress hugs her hips, her dark hair draped over one shoulder. “How do I look?”

“Gorgeous, as usual,” you say. And then, because you can’t help it, “I’m sure Kook will love it.”

Maya rolls her eyes. “Oh, please.” She steps back into the stall and yanks the curtain closed again. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…weird.”

“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” Maya says over the shuffling of clothes. “Nothing changed during the two years when you guys didn’t know and nothing has to change now.”

Maybe she’s right, you think to yourself, resting your head back and closing your eyes to the bright fluorescents above you. Maybe everything would be fine. Jungkook, in spite of his cocky playboy persona, may be a big teddy bear at heart, but you’ve never known him to mix emotions with pleasure. And Maya is certainly capable of handling herself.

Still, the whole thing just reeks of disaster waiting to happen.

The sun has just started its descent when the two of you step out of the shop, Maya now carrying a long white bag along with her. You pause for a moment, taking a slow inhale of the soft spring air. This is probably your favorite time of day, when the whole city is tinted gold, the push of the foot traffic slowing to a lazier pace as college students and businessmen alike meander their way to dinners and evening plans.

“Do you want to do dinner at my place?” Maya asks, starting to move in the direction of her apartment as you trail at her side. “I was planning on trying this new pot roast recipe, and I’d rather not get stuck with too many leftovers.”

“Ooh, that sounds good,” you say. “I’m in.”

“You just have to promise to stop looking so constipated.”

You let out a puff of a laugh. “I’m sorry—I really don’t mean to meddle.” You purse your lips. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I know, you said that already,” Maya sighs. “But we’re all grown-ups, Y/N. I know you mean well, but you’ve gotta loosen up the reins a little bit.”

“Whatever. As long as I don’t have to walk in on you guys like Jimin did.” You chew the inside of your cheek. “And just…be careful.”

Maya rolls her eyes for what feels like the hundredth time that day. She knows your heart is in a good place—the stereotypical “mom friend” just looking out for everyone—but your own blind spot drives her crazy.

You insist that you don’t truly mean to meddle. Maya, however, has no such qualms.

“You know,” she says, smirking at you with a sideways glance. “If you’re really worried about someone getting their heart broken, you should spend less time worrying about me and Kook and more time worrying about Tae.”

Your steps slow, frown lines gradually forming on your face. “Tae? What about Tae?” You pause. “He and Luna broke up months ago. He said he was over her.”

They were barely together a year, but the relationship had been the longest of Taehyung’s life. He’d spent the two weeks following the breakup locked in his room while you juggled both making sure he was alright and moving into a new apartment.

Maya gestures to the bag in her hands. “Don’t stop walking. This thing is a bitch to carry.”

As you jog a few steps to catch up, you ask, “Why? Did he say something to you?”

“Oh, please.” Another eyeroll. “He was never into Luna. It’s a wonder they even lasted as long as he did.”

“Then who?”

“C’mon, Y/N.”

“Maya, I genuinely have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.”

It’s Maya’s turn to stop in her tracks this time, passerby giving the two of you dirty looks as they swerve around you. She pins you with a pointed expression that has you blinking back at her. “What?”

Maya only continues to stare, tilting her head and biting her tongue until you finally put the pieces together. Your eyes going wide before you shake your head vigorously.

“No. No. You’re wrong.”

Maya scoffs and continues walking. “Uh-huh.”

“I’ve told you this before. We’re just comfortable with each other. He’s my—”

“Best friend who has made heart eyes at you the entire time I’ve known you two.”

“He does not. He looks at me like he’s always looked at me.”

“Exactly.”

“I—need I remind you that I’m in a committed relationship?”

“So? That doesn’t affect his feelings.”

“Tae has dated plenty of girls.”

“And with much success, obviously.”

You hesitate. “It’s not his fault that they all—”

“See how he looks at you and decide not to waste their time?”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Sure it is.”

“You’re misreading it. It’s just that we have history.”

“And chemistry. And while we’re rattling off school subjects the two of you share, I’m sure he’d be willing to help you with your physical education.”

“Maya.”

“I’m just saying!” She adjusts the bag, the plastic rustling the air. “I just got this sense that something, I don’t know, broke after Luna. I figured he finally realized how hung up on you he is or something, and that’s why he hasn’t dated since.”

The idea of a broken Taehyung squeezes your heart as your frown impossibly deepens. “That’s not…no. That’s definitely not what it was. He’s fine. We’re fine. Everything is fine.”

“Okay. Fine. If you say so.”

The two of you fall into silence, the light crackle of Maya’s bag hanging delicately between you. The sun is starting to dip behind buildings now, stretching long shadows onto the ground in front of you as you turn onto her block. You inhale a long, shaky breath.

Yes, it’s been a while since Taehyung has dated, and yes, this is a little peculiar. He may be your best friend,  but part of that means you’ve watched him grow from awkward kid to gangly teenager to one of the most handsome men you’ve ever laid eyes on. You’re not blind—you’ve seen how it’s unsurprisingly garnered him a good deal of female attention throughout the years (Saturday afternoon was not the first time he’s been hit on by a waitress). And while he’s never been anywhere near Jungkook’s level of playboy, he’s definitely been on his fair share of dates.

You don’t doubt that Maya’s noticed something of a shift in him—after you, she’s probably the person who knows him best. But both you and Taehyung have always insisted that your platonic relationship is, well, entirely platonic. So even if something changed for him, she has to be off base as to the why.

Right?

“Maya—”

“Look, I’m not telling you to sleep with him or leave Jace or anything like that. Just…” Maya purses her lips together, blowing air out of her nose. “Step back and look at what you’re doing to him before you lecture the rest of us. The guy is crazy about you, and you’re the only one who doesn’t see it.”

Well.

Shit.

She climbs the steps to her front door, slipping in the key and opening it before turning back to where you remain at the bottom of the stoop fiddling with your purse strap.

“You coming?”

“Um,” you hesitate. Your eyes drift off down the street, mind suddenly racing . “I don’t know. I’m not really hungry anymore.”

Maya’s expression softens. “I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“No, no,” you say with another shake of your head.  “I’m not mad. I just think I want to go home, maybe take a bath.”

“Okay,” Maya slowly responds. “I’ll see you at the show Friday night?”

You smile. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

Perhaps, Maya muses as she watches you saunter down the sidewalk, calling you out was not the right move. But the thought only lingers for a moment before she turns with a shrug and goes inside.

It’s Sunday night when you find yourself at the guys’ apartment for your and Taehyung’s weekly meal prep tradition. The ritual is the evolution of several years of having to care for yourselves—a need to eat turned into a sacred bonding activity for two people who had learned to rely on each other.

You and Taehyung met when you were eight-years-old after your teacher had fatefully situated your desks next to each other on the first day of school. A compliment from Taehyung on the color of your pencil case (a bright and bold turquoise) turned into a fast friendship that rapidly deepened as you realized just how similar you were: both only children living in homes with parents who were neglectful in their own ways.

In spite of growing up in a lavish, sparkling house with more rooms than you could count, your childhood was a struggle as your endlessly-busy, high-powered-lawyer parents virtually ignored your existence and left you to your own devices, working late hours every day and oftentimes not even ensuring that you had been properly fed. The mansion had felt like a prison, long hallways and tall ceilings devoid of life, filled with nothing but a terrible sense of loneliness.

That was, at least, until Taehyung showed up.

When either of you had a bad day (which was, admittedly, most days), he would slip away from the tiny, one-bedroom house on the poorer side of town, where his mother had abandoned him to an alcoholic father, and you'd sneak him in the back door (your parents either never noticed or simply didn't care). The two of you would raid the kitchen cabinets for snacks and lug your loot up to your bedroom, where you'd throw together a giant fort made of pillows and blankets with your prized possession at the center—a small globe light with tiny cut-out stars.

You never really talked about your respective situations—there was never really a need to. He saw your non-relationship with your parents firsthand, and you had heard the rumors about his family—whispers at school about the boy with secondhand clothes and a dad who often had to be dragged out of the local bars. The outside world may have been cruel, passing judgment on the both of you (and Taehyung especially) for circumstances outside of your control, but in the comfort of your room, even that fostered your kinship. It was like your own minuscule universe, belonging only to the two of you, and as you munched on your popcorn and watched the soft stars dance across the propped-up fabric, you'd talk and tell each other stories. Stories about anything from kings and queens to pirates to cowboys to astronauts. The only rule was that every tale had to have a happy ending.

As you got older, you traded your storytelling nights for evenings experimenting in the kitchen, sick of gorging yourselves on chips, pretzels, and sodas. Occasionally, once Taehyung purchased his first camera from a secondhand shop with money he saved delivering newspapers, he'd drag you around town for a photoshoot. You’d wander the streets together, helping him to scout out areas for inspiration, and he’d use you as his model to practice portraits and photographing human subjects. This tradition, too, had faded once the two of you escaped your hometown to go to college (you're not sure your parents even realized you had left), as Taehyung began working on class projects with Maya and you started spending more time with Jace. Only your weekly meal prep had persisted.

Your cooking had been a staple during college, you and Taehyung hosting “family dinners” for you and your friends on weekends (usually followed by a good few rounds of drinks), eventually shifting into you making batch meals on Sundays once you’d all graduated and begun working. That was when it had been you who’d lived in this apartment, back before you’d moved in with Jace and Jungkook had taken your place here. Still, even as lifestyles and living arrangements changed, you always wound up cooking with Taehyung on Sunday nights.

“What are mom and dad making tonight?” Jimin trills, reaching over the counter to take a swipe at a baby carrot. You shoo his hand away.

“Nothing, if you keep stealing our ingredients. Aren’t you supposed to be going to the gym?”

“I am, but someone,” he turns to yell over his shoulder, “is taking their sweet ass time getting ready!”

A door clicks open down the hall before Jungkook’s voice yells out, “Calm down, asshole, I’m almost done!” The door slams shut again.

“Such a diva,” Jimin huffs, gaining an edge to pop a carrot into his mouth. You let out a cry of protest.

“Chim, cut it out!” You turn to Taehyung who is at the opposite counter with his back to you, chopping more vegetables. “Tae, stop him.”

Taehyung snorts, not turning around. “That’s my job?”

“You have a knife.”

“Sorry, I’ve taken a vow of nonviolence.”

“Unbelievable,” you mutter as Jimin tries to reach around you again. “Hands off, Park, or I swear to God I will kick you in the balls, and you will not see it coming.”

“Guy’s gotta get some action somehow, am I right?” Jungkook comes striding down the hallway in a tank top and shorts, looking more like he’s ready for a magazine cover shoot than a gym visit as he bounds up to where you and Jimin stand in the kitchen.

“Hey, I get plenty of action!”

“You were literally whining this morning that it’s been three months.”

Jimin flushes. “That’s because I don’t sleep with my friends.”

“Neither do I,” Jungkook says, throwing a wink in your direction as you roll your eyes back at him.

“You’re disgusting. It’s a wonder Maya puts up with you.”

“It’s definitely more of a puts out situation.” He taps his chin thoughtfully. “And not really up? Contrary to what you might expect, she’s usually under—“

“Jeon Jungkook.” Then, when he makes a move to grab a carrot, you turn to Taehyung and snap, “Tae, give me a knife, I’ll stab them myself.”

Barely looking up, he reaches over to grab a knife out of the block, twisting it in his hands to hold it delicately by the blade and offer it to you handle-first. You grip it, only to slam the knife down firmly on its side in front of you, staring down Jimin and Jungkook in a silent challenge. But Jimin merely quirks an eyebrow in silent laughter, while Jungkook lets out a teasing, “Hot.”

You glare and raise the knife to chest level, pointing it at his sternum and trying to muster as much threatening energy as you possibly can in the face of a guy who could bench press you in his sleep. And while his facial expression remains one of passive amusement, he raises his hands in mock surrender and says, "Fine, fine, we're going."

With a sweep of their gym bags, they make their way out, and there's one last, "Save some for us!" from Jimin before the door swings shut behind them.

You sigh. "Idiots."

"But they're our idiots," Taehyung says, and a glance over your shoulder tells you that he's laughing at your frustration, a smile brightening his features and warming your chest.

"Remind me why we adopted them again?"

"You instantly fell for Jimin's puppy dog eyes when he was wandering around lost at orientation, and Kook..." He trails off. "Why did we adopt Kook?"

"School administration made you dorm with him, and we haven't been able to get rid of him since?"

"Oh yeah, that's right."

You fall into a comfortable silence, the only sound being that of your respective knives hitting the cutting board before Taehyung speaks up again.

"Speaking of Kook, you never told me how your conversation with Maya went."

You're thankful you have your back to him because you immediately feel yourself flush, heat shooting up your neck like an erupting volcano. You want to say, Yeah, it went great. She told me that you're desperately in love with me, and I'm the reason why none of your relationships have worked out. But that's ridiculous, right? Right?!

Instead, you do your best to mask your expression into one of relative impassivity and say, “Well, according to her, this isn’t new. They’ve been doing this for two years.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish.”

Taehyung ignores that. “How did none of us ever notice?”

“That’s what I can’t figure out. You’d think we would’ve noticed a change or something, right?”

He’s quiet, and you glance over to see him staring at a distant point out the window, lost in thought, the heel of the knife absentmindedly tapping a beat against the board. Taehyung’s always been introspective—content to sit in contemplation as he slowly works an idea through his mind. He’s thoughtful like that, ever the deliberator and rarely one to act on impulse. You balance each other out in this regard, with you having always been more inclined to break rules as you see fit and Taehyung being there to reel you in as needed.

“Maybe it works for them,” he finally says, and you feel your eyebrows shoot halfway up your forehead.

“You can’t seriously think this is a good idea.”

He shrugs, attention drawn back to the vegetables in front of him. “It hasn’t caused a problem yet, right?”

“The operative word there being yet.”

He shrugs again, brows tilting together. “I’m just saying that they’re both consenting adults, and if it’s gone this long without any catastrophes, maybe it really is a good arrangement for both of them.”

“It’s Maya and Kook. They’re always a catastrophe.”

“Exactly. They’d probably have an eventual falling out even if they weren’t sleeping together, so who knows? Maybe it actually helps them work some of that tension off.”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“I didn’t say it was healthy.” He finishes chopping his last onion and sets his knife down, crossing the kitchen to check your own progress. Reaching over you, he grabs a piece of carrot and slips it into his mouth, grinning when you frown at him. “Really, Y/N, what can you do?”

“I know, but they’re…they’re the closest thing to family that we have. You know that.”

“Families can be dysfunctional. We both know that.” He munches on another carrot. “I’d still take them over my biological family any day.”

When that still doesn’t seem to entirely placate you, he reaches out to squeeze your shoulder, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your neck and raising goosebumps there, before he slides his hand down to loop your pinkies together. “What will happen will happen. Don’t let it worry you unnecessarily.” Then he’s off heating up oil on the stove.

Normally, the brief touch would have barely registered in your mind—a simple gesture you had gotten into the habit of using when you were kids to provide reassurance. But it’s like your conversation with Maya has been inked under your skin, recoloring your perspective on the single-most steadfast relationship you’ve ever had in your life.

You hate it.

The oil begins to bubble on the stove, but Taehyung is distracted, rummaging around the refrigerator for something, so you take over, dumping in the beef that will help form the base for the soup. You throw in some seasoning, poking at the meat with a spoon and willing it to brown.

“So you’re really not interested in dating again?”

The words slip out, and the contents of the pot pop angrily at you.

Yeah, you might regret this later.

“Hmm?” Taehyung closes the fridge, cracking open the beer that’s now in his hand.

You curse your loose tongue under your breath. “Just…the other day at lunch. You were so against asking that waitress for her number.”

“She wasn’t my type.”

“And you don’t want to bring a date to the wedding.”

“I’d only bring a long-term girlfriend to a wedding. Less of a chance we’d have to edit her out of pictures later.”

“And how many dates have you been on since Luna? It’s been what, almost a full year?”

His brow scrunches, and the way he’s studying you makes you blush. “Why the sudden interest in my love life?”

You stare determinedly into the soup pot, trying to look nonchalant. “You’re my best friend, and I want to see you happy. Of course I’m interested.”

He props his hip against the counter in thought and takes a long drag of beer before he answers you. “I thought after Luna that it would be best if I take some time to focus on myself before diving back in. That’s all.”

“She really did a number on you, huh?”

“Something like that.”

You poke at the beginnings of your soup, memories of an absolutely miserable Taehyung surfacing in your mind. “It sucked, you know.”

“What?”

“Seeing your heart break.”

“Ah.” He takes another drink. “Right.”

“I swear, if I saw her again, I’d be tempted to kick her ass.”

He chuckles at that, and it rumbles his entire chest.

It might stir something in yours, too.

“I mean it, Tae.”

“Oh, trust me, I know you do.”

“Could be anywhere: club, grocery store. I’m not afraid to throw hands.”

He gives a tilt of his head. “She was a third degree black belt.”

“Well I kicked that Kenji kid in the groin during recess after he stole your backpack, and he cried for like twenty minutes. Remember that? He was practically six feet tall in the fifth grade, and that didn’t stop me. First degree black belt my ass.”

“Third degree.”

“Whatever.”

“Well as much as I appreciate your determined defense of my pride, I can assure you any emotional distress I suffered was minimal—“

“You haven’t dated since!”

“—and is definitely not worth putting yourself in the hospital over.”

“You don’t miss it though? What about like…” You trail off, cursing your stupid mouth getting ahead of your brain. You’ve never really talked about this before. Relationships, sure, but when it comes to the physical, along with your families, it’s one of the few subjects you avoid.

As your pause stretches on, he raises his eyebrows in question, and you decide to just come out with it.

“What about sex?”

Taehyung, to his credit, is unfazed by your sudden mention of the taboo. “I still have two hands, and they haven’t failed me so far.”

“Oh, Tae, ew.”

He grins devilishly at you, mischief brightening his eyes. It’s a look that he used to wear all the time when you were kids but which became rarer once he mellowed out with adulthood.

Seeing it on him now makes your heart jump.

“Point taken, forget I asked,” you say, and he laughs.

“Really, I’m fine with taking a break from dating for now. Isn’t that what that band you love is always preaching? Self-love and all that.”

You huff out a breath, nodding at his hands. “You don’t say.”

He laughs again, grinning down at you, and the uncertainty you’ve been feeling bubbles up again, your nerves sparking in time with a particularly loud crackle from the pot on the stove.

“Ah, geez, don’t let it burn,” he says, nudging you out of the way to take over. You take the opportunity to wander over to the fridge for a water bottle, feeling the need to cool yourself down. Honestly, what is wrong with you?

Taehyung, in sync with your moods by now, reads you like a book. “I feel like I should be asking you if you’re okay.” He says as he sets the meat aside and begins simmering the mirepoix in the fat. “You seem distracted.”

The conversation has become too much for you to wrestle with at this point, and you feel the need to shut it down before it gets out of control entirely. So you swallow down your anxieties like a pill without water and deflect.

“There’s just…a lot going on right now.”

It’s almost imperceptible, possibly a trick of the light, but his back stiffens ever so slightly. “Hmm, I’m sure.” He looks up at you from the stove, eyes pinning you where you stand. “But you’d tell me if there were something?”

You swallow. “Of course. You?”

“Of course.”

And that has to be enough for now.

The glow of the sunset creeps into your room as you put the finishing touches on your make-up for the night. You're running later than anticipated as you had hoped to catch Jace before you left—you know he has a virtual client meeting scheduled in fifteen minutes that he had planned to attend from home, but he texted you a half-hour ago saying that he got caught up at the office and might just take it there.

With your make-up done, you can't justify lingering any longer and decide to just leave him a note letting him know when you'll be back. Jace's desk is an absolute mess, but you're thankfully able to locate a notepad easily. A pen, however, is a different matter, and it's not long before you're rummaging through the drawers trying to find anything to write with. For a man who keeps his appearance so well-groomed, he has a true affinity for clutter, and you roll your eyes at the junk you have to sift through in search of a simple writing utensil: a hammer, old movie tickets, a broken picture frame, a ring box...

A ring box?

You pause, fingers hovering over the black velvet. Surely, you shouldn't look, right? You already feel like you're crossing some line by discovering the small box—you should preserve some element of surprise for both of your sakes.

Still, the devil on your shoulder whispers to sneak a peek...

Your decision is made for you as you hear the front door click open and shut, and you hastily close the drawer and try to school your features into something casual.

"Hey, gorgeous."

Jace leans in the doorway grinning, not a single sandy brown hair out of place and his impeccably-ironed dress shirt pulled tight across his toned chest. In a fraction of a second, you see his eyes flick from his desk drawer to where you stand stiffly in front of it.

"Hey!" The word comes out a little too loudly, and you rush to cover up the blunder. "I thought I wouldn't see you."

"Wanted to surprise my girl," he says, smile brightening as he swings a hand from behind his back to offer you a single red rose. You feel your cheeks heating up as you take it from him, marveling at how—even four years down the line—he can still manage to charm you.

He presses a kiss to your mouth, hands trailing down the back of your dress to palm your ass with a groan. "Fuck. Can't believe I have this work meeting when you look like this."

"And unfortunately, I need to get going, too, or Maya will have my head." You lean in for another quick peck. "Rain check for later?"

He chuckles, letting you go with one final squeeze. "I'll hold you to that."

"Look who finally showed up!" is what you're greeted with when you locate your friends in the gallery atrium, dodging the other patrons milling about.

"Sorry, got caught up with Jace," you say, shrugging at Maya's teasing glare.

Jungkook winks at you. "I'm sure you did."

"Yah, Kook, don't be gross," Jimin complains, slapping him on the arm.

"What?! She looks great! Right, Tae? Tell her she looks great."

You meet Taehyung's eyes for the first time since you walked up, and he shifts on his feet, gaze darting down to the accentuated curve of your hips. Clearing his throat, he smiles and says, "You look beautiful."

Cheeks hot, you murmur a quiet, "Thanks," so distracted by the awkwardness of the moment that you don't notice the look exchanged by Jimin and Maya between you.

Friends can call friends beautiful and not have it mean anything beyond that, right? You told Maya she looked gorgeous when she bought her dress with you last weekend, and you’d definitely be willing to admit that Taehyung looks incredible tonight. His navy blue suit hugs the lines of his body perfectly—highlighting his tall, lithe form—while his hair is combed up and off his forehead in a style that projects both professionalism and approachability. Combine that with the easy smile he keeps on his face, and he’s basically in male model territory.

You’ll be stunned if he doesn’t get hit on again tonight.

You make some idle small talk with your friends for a few minutes (Jungkook is trying to convince the others to head over to the bar where he works after the reception) before Maya gently nudges you with an elbow.

"Go and have a look around. Mine are back there," she declares, nodding her head towards the right hand corner of the exhibit, "but you should really check out all of the work—there's some good stuff. Hoseok and Sunny are around somewhere too."

You nod, welcoming the chance to see what it is your friends have been working so hard on, and excuse yourself to peruse the gallery. You may not be much of a creative mind yourself, but years of friendship with Taehyung and his infectious enthusiasm have at least helped you develop an appreciation for art. Weaving between the walls of frames and canvases, you stop here and there as a piece catches your eye: dark bars slashed across a messy outline of a heart titled Fake Love; a small boy offering up a waffle cone that holds a rose instead of ice cream—For You.

However, you find yourself slowing down entirely when you get to Maya's collection of photographs. They're mostly black and white candids of strangers. A woman shopping in an outdoor market. A girl chasing a dog in a park. Your friends pop up occasionally, and you smile at one of the memories you recognize: Jungkook pushing Jimin into the pool during your friendcation last year, bunny smile stretched wide across his face.

And suddenly you're frozen by a photo that's in full color.

It's Taehyung's face in close-up, his head turned to the side as he looks at something out of frame. His jaw strikes a downward line, mouth ever so slightly dipped open in something akin to wonder and tan cheeks curving with subtle delight. It's his eyes you can't look away from, though, opened wide enough to soak in whatever he's looking at that they reflect the golden lights around him, tiny galaxies swimming in his irises.

"Enjoying the view?" a deep voice teases at your shoulder, the man himself coming to stand at your side.

"That's an incredible picture of you," you tell him, still taking it in.

He hums in agreement. "I told you, she did a good job."

"Was that last summer?"

"Yeah." He nods his head at the picture of Jimin and Jungkook. "Same night as that, I think."

"What were you looking at?"

Taehyung is quiet as he thinks, scratching lightly at his nose. "I can't say I remember. Probably Hoseok walking out with that plate of pork belly. That was mouth-watering."

You laugh, and he smiles back at you before gesturing at the rows of artwork. "Can I show you some of my favorites?"

"I'd love that."

You let him drag you away, but not before glancing back to read the title card delicately placed next to Taehyung's image.

Your eyes tell.

Taehyung navigates you around the exhibit for a while, describing his role in organizing the gallery and stopping to gush about his favorite pieces. You've always loved hearing him talk about art, his passion for the subject illuminating his face as he enthuses about light and shadows and colors.

He's explaining the rule of thirds to you when Maya interrupts, telling Taehyung she has a potential client for him that she wants him to meet. He promises to find you later as she whisks him away, and, alone again, you decide to head to the adjoining reception area in search of your other friends.

You’re only a few steps into the room when you hear a voice call out your name, Jimin flagging you down from where he stands at a table with Jungkook, Hoseok, and Sunny, and you quickly slide up to hug the latter two.

“You guys made it! We’ve missed you. How’s wedding planning going?”

Hoseok groans into his champagne. “Please do not remind me,” he grumbles. “It makes med school feel like a cakewalk.”

“What my wonderful fiancé meant to say,” Sunny says, playfully elbowing Hoseok in the side and making him sputter on his drink, “is that it’s going fantastically, and we can’t wait to celebrate with you all.”

“Rumor is that it’s the can’t-miss event of the year,” Jimin singsongs. “And Kook and I are bringing the party!” He reaches over so he and Jungkook can share a short but excessively elaborate handshake.

Sunny looks on, amused. “Speaking of, do you two know if you’re bringing dates? We don’t have to finalize headcount quite yet, but knowing sooner rather than later would be appreciated.”

“I will definitely be going stag, but I think Kook might have one, yeah?” Jimin’s voice is teasing, but Jungkook doesn’t catch on, throwing him a quizzical look and causing Jimin to clarify with a smirk. “Maya.”

Jungkook scoffs, muttering, “Not a chance,” while Hoseok’s and Sunny’s eyebrows shoot up in sync.

“You and Maya are dating now?” Sunny asks, eyes wide.

Jungkook tosses Jimin a glare. “No, he’s being an ass.”

When Sunny and Hoseok continue to look confused, glancing back and forth between Jungkook and Jimin, Jimin explains, "We found out recently—and unpleasantly for me, might I add—that Maya and Kook here have been engaging in some activities with, ah, no strings?"

Hoseok's eyebrows go impossibly higher, threatening to meld with his hairline, as his mouth pops open in surprise. "Uhh...congrats?"

Jungkook shakes his head, bottom lip jutting out like a child. "Chim's just jealous because he's in a drought."

"Hey!"

"I, for one, don't see an issue," Sunny says, hopping in to play peacemaker before Jimin and Jungkook devolve into one of their notorious bickering sessions. "You're both adults. And don't sweat it, Jimin, any girl would be lucky to have you."

"What's that supposed to mea—" Hoseok starts to ask before Sunny shuts him up with a finger to his lips, subtly nodding her head at the clearly placated men.

"I just can't believe you two are finally getting married." You change the subject, snatching up a flute of champagne off a tray as a waiter walks by. "Been a long time coming."

Sunny hums. "To be honest, I'm surprised we're beating you and Jace to the alter," she says, and now it's your turn to cough on your drink. "When is that happening?"

"Oh, I, um—" you stutter, as you weigh how much you should say. You should keep what you saw earlier a secret, right? After all, what if you're wrong and you come out looking like a fool?

But four pairs of eyes are now fixed on you expectantly, and these are your friends so you cave.

"Okay, I am swearing all of you to secrecy," you say, making deliberate eye contact with each of them in turn to emphasize your point, "but I literally found a ring box in his desk earlier when I was getting ready to come here."

The table erupts in your friends' squeals and cheers, Jimin and Jungkook coming around to playfully shake your shoulders.

"Oh my gosh, I knew it!"

"That's amazing news!"

"I want to be man of honor!"

"I already called dibs!"

"What are we calling dibs on?"

Your heart skips as Taehyung joins your table, smiling at the five of you but obviously perplexed as to what the ruckus is about. And maybe you're imagining it, but your friends all seem to quiet down at his appearance as well, causing Maya's words to once again echo in your mind. The guy is crazy about you, and you're the only one who doesn't see it.

An awkward silence drapes itself over the table, Jimin being the one to pipe up when Taehyung's expression begins to morph from curious to concerned. "Y/N, tell him the good news!"

At that, Taehyung's brown eyes settle on you, and so you take a deep breath and spill. "I found a ring box in Jace's desk."

You're looking at him intently, and it's only the tiniest sliver of a second, but you see it. Unmistakably.

His face drops.

If Maya's photo captured stars in his eyes, you watch each go out one-by-one, his lips pressing together like he's trying not to be sick. A heaviness hits his shoulders that has his chest curling inwards and you almost reaching out to him...

And just like that—all at once—he's gathered his features into a smile and beams at you.

"That's fantastic, Y/N. I'm so incredibly happy for you."

His voice sounds genuine, dripping in the baritone honey that is so warm and so him, but you know what you saw—you're sure of it—and it has your mind spinning.

Shit, shit, shit, she was right.

You down your champagne in one gulp, oblivious to the shocked faces around you as you throw it back and thump the glass harshly on the table. "I'm going for a drink. Anyone want anything?"

You barely give them time to shake their heads before you're scurrying away to the bar and ordering a cosmopolitan—strong. Thoughts whirring, you try to make sense of Taehyung’s crestfallen expression as the bartender mixes your drink. There surely must be an alternate explanation, right? Until now, Taehyung has never, ever given any indication that he has feelings for you. This must be a mistake; you must be seeing things…

But just as the bartender slides your glass across the countertop, you glance back at the table, blood running cold as you find Taehyung already looking at you. He gives you a tight-lipped smile that doesn’t quite make it to his eyes before turning back to listen to whatever Jimin is currently saying.

You quickly down your second drink of the night and order a third.

NEXT

a/n: and we’re off! likes, reblogs, comments, asks, feedback, constructive criticism, and carrier pigeons are all appreciated! this started off as a story with all OCs, and the first drafts of some of these scenes were originally written in third person omniscient so please forgive me if the POVs are a little all over the place in this chapter. it’ll be rectified moving forward!

taglist open: just message or reply 😊

[coochiequeens]

As your bones lose density, the only way you will protect them is by keeping your muscle mass; building strength in middle age is part of what will define the shape and tempo of your old age. “

When 50-year-old Anna Jenkins, the founder of We Are Fit Attitude (Wafa), a woman-only health and fitness club, looked online for images of older women exercising, she was irritated by the pitiful size of the weights: the stock image is of a woman with grey hair lifting a 1kg weight, as if doing so were some kind of milestone. My personal bugbears are the photos in which there is a personal trainer with an expression of infinite patience next to the older woman, as if the latter is weak and half witted.

Stock photos are the internet’s idea of what the world should look like, sets of generic images intended to illustrate articles and advertising, often revealing more worldview than they probably set out to. There are famously a lot of photos of white women laughing near salad, meant for healthy eating content, but also reinforcing inane cheer and self-denial as cornerstones of femininity. If fitness imagery of the young is all about aspiration – six packs, muscle definition and impossible body fat percentages – fitness imagery of older people is almost anti-aspirational. Its message is: “You probably can’t do anything at all, but look over here, there’s a lady managing this tiny thing.”

Jenkins runs the Wafa classes remotely and in person for women ranging from their late 30s to their mid-70s. One Saturday, at a class in Merton, south London, they decided to create a new set of photos, repopulate the ecosystem of stock photographs, so that when you search for “older women exercising”, you will be able to see what that really looks like. “These are proper weights,” says Annette Hinds, 60. “We’re not pussyfooting about.”

Jenkins went into group work and coaching from personal training because she had noticed that, in the gym: “Women would go straight to the cardio machine because they knew how it worked. It’s a frightening environment when you think you don’t belong, when you’re unhappy in your body shape. But they didn’t need more cardio – at 45-plus your body needs strength work. Especially during the menopause. It’s just a fact.”

As your bones lose density, the only way you will protect them is by keeping your muscle mass; building strength in middle age is part of what will define the shape and tempo of your old age. But as Glenda Cooper, 51, who usually does this class remotely five times a week, says, there is more to it than that. “Women at this time of life have parents we’re caring for. I’ve got two kids. You don’t want to take up too much space, you feel invisible anyway, you don’t make time for yourself. It’s so important to have a sense of your own strength, which I think is absent from the rest of our lives.”

The atmosphere is fierce: as Lorraine Turner, 59, says: “I never used to think I was competitive, but later in life, I’ve realised that I am. I get a lot out of it if I push myself more.” Karen Silvestri, 60, remarks archly: “My husband’s a chef so I eat a lot and drink a lot. I still manage to retain this normal shape.”

Palmer’s daughter paid her a compliment on her butt the other day: “She said it wasn’t flat like a lot of women my age.” Downward comparison is very motivating, and it is also fun to watch when people are so unabashed about it.

“We’re a funny bunch, women, aren’t we?” Teresa Klasener, 61, says. She was very active until she got rheumatoid arthritis, then it all hit the skids until she started with Wafa two years ago. “We have all these mental blocks, we don’t prioritise ourselves, but once we’re in a group, we’ll fly.”

Jenkins says: “When I first became a personal trainer, I’d see a lot of women who were yo-yo dieters, and it was often because they were trying to be skinnier than their bodies were meant to be. I think exercise makes you confident in your shape as it is.” That might be the ultimate break with the visual norms of the fitness industry, that these are images of strength and exertion for their own sake, not for how they’ll make you look in spaghetti straps.

“I never knew what people were talking about with the endorphin thing,” Redford says. “And now, I do feel a sense of joy and self-congratulation, knowing that I just fucking went for it.”

[vipersiia]

XYX HEADCANONS

i have recently joined the bloomic discord and talked abt xyx, with,,, so many people and here r my headcanons, there are,,, a Lot of them and they are so so so fluffy i promise

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL - he has such a thing for petnames, and will Melt if u reciprocate

absolute pro at not being able to take what he can dish out, dont fret though, he absolutely builds a tolerance

ironically uses terrible pet-names in public, if you use some on him he Will make it a competition and he Will win ("snookums here wants a refund on this." "yes sorry, mcdreamy here said it didn't look good on me" "oh schmoopy , how you wound me i did not sa that")

xyx is such a people-pleaser, so he Knows what you like and what you don't, he'll keep an eye on your expressions subtly ("hey babe why is there so much snack you really like in our pantry?" "it was on sale!")

he will Spoil you, he's not the type to spend a lot of money on himself but on You?? oh you better watch out

still careful with his money but if you're eyeing that bag, or pair of shoes, or poster, he will buy it for you.

even if you off-handedly comment wanting something, expect it in your arms Soon ("i saw this really cool poster at the mall today?" "oh really? what did it look like doll?" "it was like, of my favourite character holding their love interest" "oh thats very cool" schemes)

will absolutely do the evil villain chair in dark thing with Cat if you come home late ("i've been,, expecting you" "babe its 1 am what are you doing up?")

he knows your favourite drink, exactly how you like it, and it tastes perfect everytime. YOU NEVER TOLD HIM EITHER, he just had you try a buncha things and watched your reactions ("hey love, im trying out a new recipe, wanna try?" "of course!")

dont think about it but seeing him playing with cat, watching the muscles in his arm flex??? him Noticing you noticing and flexing a lil harder, before going all out, Cat meowing indignantly over his bicep???

stop thinking about xyx coming home from work, seeing you and Cat cuddling on the couch?? being so in love that he scored someone as amazing as you?? he is just, so so so, in love with you at the moment?? that he just, comes over, picking u both up and twirlin you around. Cat immediately, outraged bats him the face but he doesn't notice because you're giggling so hard rn

if he's meeting your parents??? ohhh be prepared, he is such a smooth talker and hes Proud. He comes in, nicest most neutral cologne, nice powersuit, a subtle chain necklace with your initial???

he is All smooth talk, keepin an eye out for any cues of like or dislike on topics, always complimenting whoever cooked

when getting to the Interrogation? oh he's Ready ("so what do you do for a living" "oh well i work as a lawyer, it makes me elated to be able to provide for mc like i can" "nice, nice" *visibly impressed*)

the car ride home after??? oh he is Menace, he is all grins, puffin out his chest like a bird ("doll they loOoooveee me" "did you see that? arent you proud love?") you're gonna have to keep saying yes but its okayyy because you're both sickeningly in love with eachother

him being hella cheesy, tellin u one day ("hey doll, i bet i can hold the entire universe in my hands" "what??") and immediately cupping your face??? pulling you into a soft kiss??

you keeping that in ur mind,,, ready to strike back?? sitting on the couch with him laying between them, cheek pressed into your thigh as you both play with Cat? when Cat leaves, leaning down and cupping his face in your hands??? ("you are so gorgeous babe") and he goes Red (mc - 1 / xyx - 4million), his breath Stops.

leaning down to kiss him??? catching him even more off-guard?? absolute knock-out. he tries so hard to play it off ("ill never be as gorgeous as you doll") but being sooo off his game? so caught off guard??

a sunshower happening, cue you, dancing in the rain like a madman??? him coming over and seeing you?? glad u cant see him because he is Positive he looks so sappy rn. eventually meeting his eye?? running up to him and grabbing him by the hand?? leading him into the rain?? he immediately takes over the dance, spinnin and twirlin you around.

pulling you into his arms?? arms resting on your hips as you grab him by the face?? pulling him into a kiss???? laughter breaking out between you two, as he peppers your face in kisses??

doing research on filipino wedding customs, finding out that you traditionally ask the parents for their blessing

ASKING XYX'S PARENTS FOR THEIR BLESSING?? going over to their house for a dinner plan, getting him distracted and asking his parents for their blessing??? planning the wedding with them??? burning the unity candle?? the rice toss?? the money dance???

at the altar, can't even get though the first line of his vows before he cries ( "and i, xyx tak-" *literally sobbing*)

DOING HARANA FOR HIM??? getting all the members of the bloomic server to participate, as you sing his praises? good at singing or not he is so choked up in giggly, hands over face ugly bawling

lighting the unity candle with him is a whole ordeal, neither of you can stay still long enough to keep the flame steady, almost lighting the tablecloth on fire

him holding you as close as you can fit against him?? teary eyed all over again because wow, he cant believe that you really wanted to marry him??

post first dance, as the night wanes, hiding behind the couples table, on the floor, in his arms??? as he feeds u mango sticky rice and vice versa???

sayin sum cheesy shit like ("oops i missed a spot, hold still love") before leaning in for a kiss??? not realizing the photographer AND videograper saw this and got it all in 4k??

the discord prompts that inspired me, thank u i luv u all(real)

[ailendolin]

Here are my first thoughts after finally having watched the 2023 Christmas Special for the first time:

Positive:

Baby Mia is absolutely adorable and Alison and Mike are wonderful parents. They've grown and matured so much throughout the series and it's lovely to see that in the way they are with Mia and take care of her

and speaking of growth: I think it's lovely that in the end, the ghosts are ready to let Alison and Mike go. They've really come full circle from trying to get them to leave in the beginning to begging them to stay in series 5 and finally, to encouraging them to leave because that's what's best for Alison and Mike's family

I love that Alison looks like the tired, exhausted mum she is. These days, characters often look picture perfect in film and TV, no matter the situation, and Ghosts has always felt like a breath of fresh air because people are allowed to look normal. It's little things like Alison's yellow coat that she's worn throughout the show hanging by the door, her wearing Mike's flannels or having bags under her eyes that make it feel beautifully real down to Earth, and I'm glad the downsides of having a child didn't get glossed over

one of my favourite moments was the shrug Humphrey's body gave when everyone was looking for its head. That genuinely made me laugh because of course the body would not care whether the head would get exorcised or not

and omg, the exorcism scene was so well done! I love the music in the background (I so hope we'll get a soundtrack one day), the panic on Mike's face when he quite literally runs to warn Alison, the panic on Alison's face when she's faced with the possibility of losing the ghosts, the fear when she can't find them (which parallels 5x01) and finally the relief and smile when she hears their voices. That whole sequence was just perfect

I love that it's Thomas who says, "Because they just can't help being who they are," because it's not an excuse for his behaviour but an explanation - and a recurring theme for him. Right in the beginning of the show, he said, "We stay how we die," and I think for him, those words have proven to be true. He is heartbroken and he'll stay that way. He can't help that. He does not want Alison to go ("Why did I vote for this? I hate it.") but in the end he knows it's what's best for her and for himself, even if it breaks his broken heart a little more.

seeing Button House in all its glory in the end. It still being called Button House. Fanny and Humphrey's portraits on the wall (and the third one might be Kitty's?). Higham Suite (which was the thing that made me tear up because my first thought was that it's meant to honour Isabelle and I love that (although I realise it's probably meant to honour Kitty but I'm choosing to ignore that)). Thomas still complimenting Alison even though she's grown old and thus making a point that his affections for her were never just about her looks

Neutral:

I would have preferred if Alison and Mike had stayed at Button House because for me, the show has always been about family and I don't think they had to leave the ghosts behind to find their own way. BUT the way the Idiots wrote and executed it - with the ghosts encouraging them to leave, establishing that Alison and Mike regularly come back to the house and with details like Higham Suite that clearly show that Alison and Mike had the ghosts in mind when they made the contract for sale - makes it okay for me.

I'm a bit sad we did not get to see more of the ghosts interacting with baby Mia but what we saw - Pat and Cap especially - was very sweet

Negative:

the pacing. I am so sorry but I think they crammed too much into the episode. They either should have cut the exorcism storyline (as much as I loved it) or gone for a 60 minute special. There's just too much going on for 30 minutes, and too many time jumps (I wasn't a fan of them in the 2021 Christmas Special either) that sadly make the whole episode feel very rushed

and because it felt so rushed a lot of plots did not have the impact they were meant to have, at least not on me. Robin's feelings about Christmas for example.

also what was going on with Kitty and the baby at the beginning? Her being jealous is obviously not a new thing but the issue did not really get resolved, did it?

the latter also goes for Thomas's feelings for Alison which brings me to my biggest criticism of the whole show: he never got the character development he deserved (and, to an extent, neither did Fanny). The whole baby storyline would have been the perfect set up for him to move on from Alison (including discussions about different types of love and him realising that Alison does love him platonically and that that's enough) but it never happened. I feel like he was done dirty in that regard because every other character except him got to grow

I have probably missed a ton of moments - and I will rewatch the episode once I've rewatched series 5 - and likely repeated things here that others have said before. Since I had blocked all tags blocked when the Special aired I have no idea how the fandom's reaction to it was but if anyone still wants to talk about it, my asks are open.

[bethanydelleman]

Hey Bethany, this is in response to you saying you would like to read "Emma" from the perspective of Jane Fairfax. Do you know the book "Jane Fairfax", by English writer Joan Aiken? It tells the story of Emma from Jane's perspective, starting in her childhood, and it was published in 1993. It stood next to Emma and Pride and Prejudice on my parents' bookshelves and was actually my first contact with Jane Austen's body of work, because its language is easier to follow for a child or teenager, but as much as I love Jane Austen's other works, it made it hard for me to get through Emma because I already liked Jane Fairfax so much. It's been a few years since I last read it, so I don't remember the plot so very well, but I think it mirrors quite accurately what happens in Emma (I am not completely sure about that, though, because my view on Emma is skewed by this book, so don't quote me on that). It also made me understand better why she marries Frank Churchill and it also gives a deeper insight into the differences between Emma and Jane, both character-wise and regarding their upbringing. If you already know this book or if you ever get around reading it, I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on it. I also really enjoy reading your blog and your opinions, analyses and interpretations on Austen's books. I have loved her books for a long time and your posts often open up new perspectives that I hadn't considered before, which I really appreciate. Take care!

I'm always interested to hear about someone's journey to Austen! Starting with fan fiction is probably an usual one. And thank you for the compliment!

I've been asked about this novel before... I'll quote myself: When it comes to FF of Emma, I have a cardinal rule: Mr. Dixon and Jane Fairfax cannot be in love. This FF breaks my cardinal rule and for that reason I haven't read it. This doesn't mean it's a bad book, the sample seemed fairly well-written, but it's probably not for me.

Also, from what I've read in reviews, this book ascribes to the theory that Jane Fairfax didn't love Frank Churchill and married him to escape poverty. I have toyed with that idea myself, but Jane's actions in the novel just don't fit with a mercenary marriage, mostly because when Jane thinks Frank doesn't love her anymore, she lets him go. Lucy Steele would never! She clings to Edward like gum until she has a viable and secured second option. So for me, it's unlikely that Jane wasn't also in love.

[keiskake]

bird instincts (chapter nine - hawks)

takami keigo x quirkless f!reader (au chilhood friends // characters are aged up 21+)

warnings ~  swearing, petnames, hawks being aggressive + jealous, oral sex (f!receive and m!receive), fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, degrading names, trauma flashbacks, spoilers about hawks’ backstory from the anime

wordcount ~ 4.742k

summary ~ you and takami keigo grew up together in a shitty hut with terrible parents. he disappeared one day when you were 6, but he never left your mind. the heavens entwine your destinies together, but it’s not a smooth journey you soon figure out.

a/n ~ i honestly didn’t plan for this chapter to be so long, but it was so good as a whole that i couldn’t split it up. i’ve decided to focus on the series a little more, rather than try and upload drabbles everyday! thank you for reading, reblogs + likes are always appreciated.

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"that's real original hawks." you walked towards the handsome blond in a black suit and tie. it caught your attention, his crimson red earrings. you didn't know hawks had his ears pierced. fuck. it made him so attractive. hell, he was attractive full stop. the way his eyes were glued onto you, as if he had blurred everything else around him. tunnel vision. and the way his hand slipped to your waist, pulling you in so he could lower his lips onto your forehead. it made your legs quiver and your heart pulsate even faster than before.

"i'll come up with a better one that's up to your standard next time baby bird. but have i ever told you how beautiful you, and how lucky i am that this is all mine?" his thumb brushed against your cheek, sweeping away the hair that was covering it to lay down a quick peck. you couldn't hide it, your cheeks burned pink as he cooed complements in your ear.

"well...you're looking really handsome tonight, but you're always handsome! so i'm lucky too!" was that the best compliment you could think about? really? babbling a response in a panic.

"oh? you're spoiling me with such kind words tonight y/n, and so many of them." he smirked at your embarrassed and rosy face. his fingers trailed its way from your waist, to your hip, and into your soft hands. "lets go inside, gonna introduce you to my best friend, endeavour. and hey. don't be nervous, you look gorgeous."

you nodded, taking hold of his hand before making your way to the event hall. the path was outlined by a carpet that was almost the same colour as your dress, and bordering the carpet were golden posts that acted as a barrier between the heroes and the media. it was all so grand. cameras and lights flashing, hero names being hollered and an endless wave of cheer around you.

is this how heroes made people feel? excitement, joy, vigour. no wonder kei admired them so much.

as you reached the door to the event hall, hawks pulled his hand away and positioned it so that his hand was on his chest and a gap formed between his arm. you put your arm through his, pressing your chest against his upper arm. an exchange of smiles went between the two of you and before you walked into the hall arm in arm. it was time for the event of the year to begin.

the moment you stepped into the room you were completely drowned in the awe of memorization. your jaw fucking dropped to the floor. the hall wasn't only big, it was gigantic, enormous even. lights beamed across the entire room, not a single dark spot to seen. thousands of tables with a million different dishes and drinks were scattered as far as you could see. and right at the front a stage, where hawks would be later tonight.

"woah." it was the only thing that could escape your lips. it was so amazing and majestic, like straight out of a movie.

"guess it's not everyday you get to experience something like this, i must say they really went all out. spared no expenses." he watched your face as it illuminated with shock and elation. your face was priceless.

"this is so incredible hawks. can we eat the food? oh! and i wanna try a drink. can we? can we really?" you tugged at his blazer, shaking the poor bird side to side.

"you can eat and drink the stuff on the table sweetheart. i'll come with you so that your nerves calm down, alright?" he giggled at your eagerness, petting the back of your head to hopefully calm you down and stop you from shaking him anymore.

"then what are we waiting for? i'm dying to try those giant chocolate covered strawberries." you beamed at him and then dragged him half way across the event hall to satisfy your sweet tooth.

not only were the strawberries in season but they were big and juicy, covered in a thick creamy chocolate shell. and they were never-ending. hawks watched as your face turned into an everlasting ray of smiles, and with each strawberry it grew. he kept close to you so that you had someone to talk to and, most importantly, to keep you safe. god were you beautiful. what he would do to see you this happy all the time.

approaching you was a big, bulky man. his shoulders broad and his face stern. you knew you had seen his face before, it was all too familiar. endeavour. he had the same face as the plushie in your bed. his hair was ruby red and his eyes turquoise blue. a plushie perfect match. he stood in front of you and hawks, his shoulders broad enough the cover the both of you. his eyes glanced past the bird man, fixing his gaze straight onto you.

"woah there buddy, if you stare at her too much she's gonna break down." he jokes, placing his hand on your lower back to ease your nerves. who wouldn't be nervous if a big rock of man started staring at you.

"good evening. who's the girl, hawks?" his arms stood straight by his side, his face stiff. you couldn't tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking, and that was the scariest thing about him.

"my girlfriend, you jealous endeavour?" hawks displayed a grin on his face, pulling you closer to him in order to 'show you off' some more.

"no. though i didn't picture you the type to settle down." he peered over at you once more, scanning you from head to toe. he might as well have been a metal detector.

"i'm y/n, it's nice to meet you. you're the number one hero endeavour, it's a real pleasure to meet you. i'm kinda a fan, well no my friend is the fan, but i still think you're really cool!"

"you're a fan of me too, right baby bird?" he pouted and squirmed as you spouted a bunch of rubbish to fill the awkward space endeavour had created.

"well, thank you for being a fan despite all the punches being thrown at my name currently. she'll keep you in check hawks, don't cause her trouble." he eyed hawks, the kind that your parents gave you when you were about to do something stupid.

"right, right, of course endeavour. why'd you come over? did you miss your buddy?" he nudges the flame hero, poking and prodding at him for a response.

"no i did not miss you, and you are not my 'buddy'. i came to collect you, it's time to go up there." the stoic man pushed hawks' arm away and turned his back on the two of you. he made his way through the crowds of people and tables before disappearing behind a curtained staircase.

"one day he'll admit that we're buddies." he chuckled, straightening his suit and tightening his tie. "but for now, i gotta fly y/n. i'll see you on stage." he cupped one of your cheeks and took you in for a kiss.

"you won't be able to see me silly, there's too many people here tonight."

"trust me y/n i could spot your drop dead gorgeous face a thousand miles away. wish me luck!" he rushed off to the curtained staircase, his wings fluttering slightly as he made his way to the grand stage.

in your heart you were wishing him luck, though really and truly he didn't need it. he'd be fine just the way he was. you couldn't stop thinking about the way his blazer clenched round his waist and the way his white button up shirt displayed the outline of his collar bone. and whatever bottle of cologne he was wearing tonight you were determined to buy a bottle for yourself. it drew you in like a bone to a dog.

you took hold of another strawberry before the lights shut down. excited murmurs spread from every corner of the hall and everyone laid eyes on the main stage. with a little squinting you could make out 10 silhouette figures were standing on the platform. hawks must been amongst the 10. you didn't want to miss a second, and clearly the media didn't want to either with their cameras and notepads out and ready.

head beam lights from below flashed, giving a better view to the 10 shapes. a flicker from the bulbs on the ceiling went off and the whole room was lit with an endless stream of radiant light. claps echoed from every corner of the room, chanting of the hero's names penetrated the air and glasses clinking together in unison. there stood heroes. the top 10 heroes.

amongst the line of heroes were names such as mirko the rabbit hero and wash the laundry hero. amongst the handful of talent japan had to offer was your beloved number two, hawks. he stood proudly with his chest out and wings perked up high behind him. he was facing your direction, even whilst he collected his award and gave his speech his eyes were on you. he really was like a hawk.

but what was he so fixated on? you. and the man next to you who was barely millimetres away from touching your shoulder with his. black long hair tied up in a bun, baggy eyes and a sharp jawline. eraser head. he'd really dressed for the occasion, and that worried hawks. as he spoke to you, laughter left your sweet and pretty lips. but your laugh was his to hear and only his. the thought of another man who could make you as happy as he did irked him deeply.

what lit the fuse to the bomb was when eraser head pulled you in by the waist to move you away from the waiter, that was about to trip and drop a hundred drinks in your direction. you apologised and gave eraser head a big dumb smile, the same kind you gave him during your date. he didn't know that he would feel so enraged witnessing another person touch you, talk to you or laugh with you. what was he so jealous of?

the presenter on stage dismissed the heroes to the event, taking back their awards so that they could be delivered to their hotel room directly. he didn't want to watch another second of it, jumping off the stage with his hands tucked into his pockets. he swerved his way through the mob of people, grumbling to himself and swearing under his breath.

you could smell the faintest scent of his cologne so you turned around, only to face a less than pleasant hawks. his brows were furrowed and his lips were straight, one fist clenched by his side and the other one still in his pocket. you felt your heart in your throat. did you do something wrong? was he angry? you looked to eraser head for some kind of reassurance or confirmation. boy did you set fire to dynamite.

"y/n we're going, now." he took hold of your arm, almost grabbing it.

"b-but why, the real event just started?" you flinched a little, shocked that hawks would behave so aggressively towards you. what the hell had gotten into him.

"we're going and that's final." he started dragging you to the nearest exit, not giving you enough time to pick up your dress so that it wouldn't drag across the floor too much.

"sorry eraser head! it was nice to ━" hawks tugged you closer to him, cutting you midway through your goodbye.

his grip on your arm was so tight you were certain that it would leave some kind of mark or bruise. you wanted him to slow down, you really wanted a break from all the speed walking, but you couldn't speak up. it was physically impossible for you. every time you planned to say something your throat would go hoarse and chicken out on you. no words would leave your mouth.

you were afraid of him in that moment, it reminded you of when your father had beaten you and kei for sneaking out to play one afternoon. you and kei wanted to cry out for help, cry out to express your pain. but no matter how hard you tried nothing came out, it always ended up in silence. you didn't want to put hawks in the same category as that disgusting and treacherous thing you called a 'father'.

hawks took you all the way to his hotel room, which was a penthouse suite with the best view in all of Kamino Yokohama. he tapped his key card on the reader before shoving the door out of the way and throwing you inside of the room. the door closed behind him, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top of his formal shirt. he made his way to you and your body trembled more and more the closer he got.

"what the hell was that all about hawks?! dragging me out of there with no explanation, i didn't even get to say goodbye to eraser head properly. and then you grab me and take me all the way here, look my arm has a red mark because of you!"

he looked at your arm and seemed to take a step back. you let it all out, all the words that were clogged up from before. you weren't going to stay silent this time, not anymore. what he did was wrong but hawks himself hadn't realised until you started shouting and bursting out on him.

"yeah what i did wasn’t exactly excusable and i'm sorry. but why is saying goodbye to eraser head so fucking important to you?"

"hawks are you hearing yourself?"

"why are you so caught up on him?! just focus on me, that's all that you need. or is it not enough?" he took your hand and placed it on his chest. his heart was pounding to fast and hard that you could feel it through his blazer.

jealousy. the room was plagued with his jealousy. was he afraid of losing you? maybe he was afraid of losing his place in your heart? you never thought hawks was the type to get jealous, sure it was human nature, but he was so confident in himself. on the surface that was.

his body was unsteady from the pent up anger he had hoarded whilst on stage. you knew what he was doing was out of order but somewhere in your heart you understood where he was coming from. the constant fear of the what if. what if you lose the one you hold dearest to your heart? what if you’re so easily replaceable you could be tossed to the side?

tears trickled down his cheek slowly and it infectious, water droplets forming in your eyes as well. it hurt to see him like this. you just wanted him to be his chirpy and cocky self again, you took that side of him for granted. but it was your job as his girlfriend to guide him through his moments of despair. no, not even a job. the bare minimum.

you moved your hand from his beating heart to his face, cupping it gently and lifting his head up to face you. two teary eyed lovers facing the abyss together. you pressed your forehead onto his and let out a little sigh. your big bird was still a baby at heart, and you were going to protect his precious heart.

"i will always need you hawks, there's nobody that could replace you. so please, don't let your fear get the better of you. it's okay to feel angry and jealous, it's human nature, but never forget that i care about you the most. i'm not going anywhere and you're not going to be replaced. you’re enough."

"y/n...i'm sorry, i was just so scared. i hated watching you and eraser head talk, and then when he touched you and you smiled at ━" you cut him off with a deep kiss. that's what he needed in that moment, a piece, a crumble of physical affirmation that you were his.

he was shocked, you never initiated the first move. it was different, like turning the page to a new chapter in your relationship and he wasn't complaining one bit. his hands drew itself to your waist, pushing you deeper into his lips. home. it felt like home to him. he didn't need all the fame or money that he had, hell he didn't even need to be a hero let alone number two. you were enough for him.

"i love you y/n, i'm so sorry for hurting you like that." his lips left yours and his head hung back down again. he took hold of your arm once again, but this time his touch was much more tender. "look at what i've done. i'm a monster. i don't fucking deserve you."

"i forgive you, bird brain. so don't grovelling about it, it's not very hero like y'know." your fingers ran through his golden locks and you laid your head on top of his.

"fuck hero life, i don't need it. why would i? i have you sweetheart and that's more than a bastard like me could ask for." you positioned yourself on his lap, throwing your arms around his neck.

"if you let out another negative comment i will never ever compliment you again, got it?"

"yes ma'am. sorry ma'am."he jumps and turns to look you in the eyes. you were deadly serious.

"i'm glad we're on the same page. i didn't get a chance to say it but congratulations on your award hawks!"

"thanks baby bird, first time anyone has really congratulated me with any sincerity at all." he played with your skirt and his free hand laid on top of your thigh.

"it won't be the last if i'm around! sorry about not having a gift, you got me the dress and a ride but i don't have a thing for you."

"looking at you in this gorgeous dress is more than enough, you have no idea what it does to me y/n."

you felt it. you felt your thigh rubbing against something hard that poked at your soft skin. you knew what it was, and the thought of it made you embarrassed. it wasn't as if you were innocent at all, absolutely not. you had your fair share of lewd thoughts about hawks. it couldn't be helped sometimes, when his pants were just a tad bit too tight you good get a clue or two about the outline of his cock. and you'd be a liar if you said you had never imagined him rubbing his length against your slit.

he looked at your face that was all red, only realising then what was making you behaving sheepishly. "shit y/n, sorry i didn't mean to really."

"it's okay...it's natural. your dick is really hard huh?" you bit your lower lip and unconsciously rubbing your thigh against him.

he picked you up from his lap and sat you on the bed properly, leaning in for a kiss. it was wet and messy, your tongues running around one another. his hand held you by the neck, pressing you deeper and deeper into his lips. your hand was over his clothed cock, teasing it as he pressed a finger against your cunt. "wet already?"

"nghh ━ don't wanna wait anymore, please fuck me daddy." and that's all you needed to do for hawks to make your fantasies a reality.

you turned to the side so that hawks could unzip your dress. it slipped right off you and he left it hanging over a chair. he couldn't take his eyes off your body, you weren't wearing a bra so your breasts were openly on display for him. your skin looked to delicate and soft, thighs and ass plush. perfect in everyway. he kissed his way down your figure. head, neck, chest, stomach, thigh. the slow pace was leaving you on the edge, your red thong soaked in your juices and drip.

your only bit of clothing was ripped off you, hawks' cooing in your ear "i'll buy you a new one princess." his fingers played with your wet fold, a thumb circling against your swollen clit and the two tips of his fingers teasing your hole. you bucked your hips urging hawks to finger you. a grin appeared on his face, "can’t wait? what a slut". the sound of your wet pussy being filled with two of his fingers echo the room. he curves his finger as he pushes in and out of you, reaching your g-spot. and every time he hit the deepest part you'd arch your back, mewling in pleasure and shamelessly moaning out his name. "ahh ━ hawks more, please! wanna cum please hawks!" fuck did your sweet voice make his dick twitch. he fingered you faster. too much for you to handle clearly, grabbing a hold of the bed sheets and letting out even more breathless cries of pleasure. his tongue lapped your cunt and his fingers kept spreading your walls apart, loosening you up for his cock. too much, it was too much for you. your mind was blank from all the enjoyment and the only thing you could think about was hawks playing with your whore of a cunt. he sucked on your clit, making sure to get a real good fucking taste of ‘his’ pussy. you whimpered, arching your back and cumming all over his fingers. hawks pulled his fingers out, spreading them apart to show you the long line of drip and how wet they were. he put his two digits in your mouth for you to taste before running his tongue from the bottom of your slit to the top. "god. you taste fuckin' sweet as candy baby bird."

your legs were trembling, they were weak. you had never had such an intense orgasm, nor did you have a clue that it could feel that good. "my turn." you took hold of hawks' hand, laying him against the headboard of the bed. you positioned yourself between his legs, his cock desperate to get out of his pants. he unbuttoned his blazer and shirt, and you unzipped his pants. your bare skin rubbing against one another made your heart race, a blush running across your cheeks. "take it slow sweetheart, no rush." you nod, taking his boxers off to reveal his red, bulge tip. he was bigger than you had ever imagined, your hand barely able to wrap around the base. you took a breath before pushing the head of his cock into your mouth, enfolding the tip in your wet tongue. hawks groaned and his hips jolted from the sensation your mouth was giving him, watching his pretty girl suck him off made him throb even more. as you moved your mouth up and down his length, you could feel it hit the very back of your throat. it was just so big it started to make you choke, and that was music to his ears. "gonna push it down so you take it all the way, pinch me if you need me to stop." groaning, he took a handful of your hair and shoved the rest of his cock into your mouth. your moans were muffled from the fullness of your mouth, tears running down your face, and your mouth became more and more sloppy and took hawks in. he tugged you off his twitching dick, his face flustered. "y/n lay down on the pillow, gonna put it in okay?"

he flipped you over so that you were the one laying down on the pillow. your legs were spread apart, levered on his broad shoulders. "wanna feel you inside daddy, pretty please." your needy pleas gave him the green light to pound you and drill the shape of his cock into your pussy. he lined it up with your entrance, slapping it on your cunt a few time. he prepped you so well that his entire cock was able to slip in easily. your wet walls wrapped around him tightly, almost milking him. he slammed his hips into you and you could feel his tip kissing your cervix, and he kept hammering your insides. your drenched pussy squelched at every thrust he rewarded your pretty little cunt. you were completely full from him, his dick fucking you dumb and senseless. he was turning you into his personal cock sleeve. you let him infiltrate your every senses, the only thing you could think about was him. "c-cum in me please daddy, give me every drop please!" your arms swung around his neck, trying to keep yourself upright since your legs were becoming weaker as he continued to shove himself into you. "my princess is so well mannered. of course i'll breed you pretty girl." his hand pulled your thigh in so he could reach even deeper, thrusting his cock as his thumb grazed against your cunt. he was giving you the fucking of a lifetime, pussy full and cunt overstimulated. "shit- gonna cum inside of you y/n. gonna fill you up so good."you could feel yourself reaching the limit, moaning, whimpering, digging your nails into hawks's back. his cock pouring every ounce of cum he could muster into your needy cunt. panting, he pulled out and watched the mix of his cum and yours slowly ooze out of you pussy. your insides were painted white.

"did so well sweetheart." hawks fell into your arms, resting his head on your chest.

"you too baby." you pressed a kissed on his head and ruffled his already messed up hair.

"is this the same y/n i know give ME a pet name? i could die happy." he looked at you with eager eyes waiting for an answer, with an underlying feeling of shock.

"well...we're in a relationship so i should start using pet names more often!" you didn't think it that big of a deal but to hawks it was like the world had just granted his every wish, his heart pounding next to yours.

"lets clean up and get some sleep, 'kay? i'll apologise to erase head tomorrow." he got up and headed to the bathroom.

you nodded and followed behind hawks, getting into the shower with him. you took turns washing each others hair and backs, hawks occasionally planting bubbles on your nose. the domestic moments you were having, like drying his hair and vice versa, made you feel like you were on cloud nine. butterflies erupted at the thought of you and hawks behaving like husband and wife.

the hotel had provided you and hawks with a pair of black silk pyjamas. they were so smooth to touchy and easy on the skin. the little pocket on your chest even had your name on it, hawks had the same but just with his name. well hero name. but the clothes were perfect fit. but how did they know you would be staying?

"hawks, why do i have a pair of pyjamas? i mean i'm not a hero nor was i a direct guest." he laid on the bed and you sat beside him, his hand petting your thigh.

"i asked them to get you a pair, pretty cool right."

"okay- but how did you know i would be staying, heck i didn't even know i was gonna stay the night." you poked his chest, your lips pouting.

"bird instinct." you started laughing, how unserious could he be. but it was nice, a change of mood.

"scoot over bird brains!"

he shuffled to the right side to make a little nest for you to lay on. hawks arm stretched out across the pillow, his hand prodding you to come over. you plopped your head on his arm and your face nuzzled in his chest. the light switched off, the blanket wrapped round you and so did hawks. you didn't need city lights to call something home anymore. it was right Infront of you, practically thrown over your entire being.

"goodnight y/n, sweet dreams." he lifted your chin, placing a gentle kiss on your lips, and then your nose, and finally your head.

"goodnight hawks. thank you for being my home.”

[oh-shtars]

Hey Saph! @wings-of-sapphire/ @signed-sapphire

Stupid tumblr tends to glitch and not let me edit my drafts for some damn reason so sorry for the inconvenience and that it took so long. I have to screenshot your ask and my response down. 😭😭😭

- Interestingly enough, Mag’s main motive is not really to gain more power. (It’s still one of the benefits though, so sure. He’ll take power. Yayyy.) But most of the evil actions he does is out of vengeance. Losing his village took its toll on him. The universe turned its back on him so he feels like he’s justified to take something back for himself.

So now, he finds pleasure in putting others under distress in the same way he used to be.

- So as I said in my previous point, Magnifico loves toying/playing with his victims. Giving them that fake sense of hope and security just to see their look when they realise they’ve been fooled. (But this hypocrite hates being the laughing end of that stick lmaooo)

- He can be superficially charming and manipulative to get what he wants. But it is relatively easy to break down his facade compared to Amaya because of his anger issues.

- He would project his own insecurities/issues towards other people to lower their own self-esteem. An “I’m down, so other people are coming down with me” mentality.

- Just like Star, and being a parallel of Star, Magnifico assumes that people only really like him for what he could offer them. So he could be already suspicious and assuming the worst whenever you ask him for a favour. It’s a contradicting feeling. One, he loves the attention. But on the other hand, he’s so pissy on how ungrateful people are and always expect something from him no matter how much he tries.

(Especially with his belief that his father only valued him as a potential heir and never really saw him as a son. This isn’t true. Oliver is just horrible at communication)

- I imagine Magnifico’s relationship with King Oliver is similar to Shen and his parents from KFP2. How both believed their parents “hated them” for never reaching what was expected of them.

- Magnifico is highly likely to underestimate things and can be impulsive. Amaya usually helps with giving him some second-thoughts and opinions before he could go and do something stupid.

- Mag smiles at the smallest compliments and gets a tiny bashful at certain flirts.

- Magnifico does get symptoms of PTSD from time to time. He can be set off just with the look of uncontrolled fire and he overthinks and gets stressed when things are beyond his control in the kingdom.

(I am just now remembering Aled’s drawing of the Starboys burning the kitchen down. Hmmmmm……)

…….

And tbh, that’s really all I could think of right now. Idk, he makes more sense in my head and I think it will click when I actually start to get into writing his scenes. I’ve made him quite complex that even I couldn’t put it into proper words. 😅

But if you really want to get to know his vibe, I think these songs might help give you an idea. The first one is like, my go-to song when I think of RFTS!Mag’s character though:

………

Also, @signed-sapphire, I read through your TFS!Au and if I understood it correctly, our Magnifico’s are basically:

“I’ve suffered through so much, so I’ll do anything I could to keep our people safe and not let it happen again.”

Vs.

“I’ve suffered through so much, so the ungrateful btches of this kingdom will feel my wrath because I say so-“

Saph.

Look me in the eyes. Are you sure our AUs aren’t made to be this hilarious Swap!version of the other or something? This is getting freaky-

[and-claudia]

His Heir pt. 39 (Darth Maul x pregnant! reader)

word count: 1900+

Taglist sign up

gif not mine

“Do you think you and Maul will work everything out?” Dasar asked as we got our snacks ready for our movie. 

“I really hope so. Because don’t get me wrong, I love my son and will always love him no matter what happens between me and Maul, but I am not putting myself through this just to co-parent with him. I will do it if that’s what’s best for him,” I nodded down to my stomach, “But I wanted him to have a real family that Maul and I never got.” 

Dasar nodded, “I believe in the two of you. Really, I do. I think you two will work it out.” 

“I hope we do… come on, let’s just watch our movie.” I said as I settled down in the plush loveseat. 

I managed to make it through two movies before deciding to turn in for the night. Dasar escorted me to my room. The room reminded me of the rooms back on Mandalore. Everything here reminded me more of Mandalore than Dathomir ever has. Not in a bad way. There was just a lot more color here, I had become so accustomed to the reds, blacks, and greys of Dathomir that it was all just a bit of a shock to me. 

“Sorry if the colors are a bit loud, we like to pull our color scheme from the surrounding coral reefs.” 

“No, no, I love it. Very you.” I complimented. 

“Well thank you. Get some rest. I have something fun planned for tomorrow… but I am afraid your… standard attire won’t quite do, I will have something brought to you.” He winked and then quickly left, not giving me the chance to question it. 

I was a little skeptical as to what he meant by that but didn’t dwell on it too much. Instead, I got ready for bed and laid down. The bed was quite comfortable and once I got the pillows adjusted right I was able to slowly drift off to sleep. 

The next morning I woke up to the sun casting its rays over my eyes. I got up slowly and let the warmth wash over me before getting ready for the day. I had just gotten out of the shower and wrapped a robe around myself when there was a knock on the door. 

“Who is it?” I called. 

“It’s me I have your dress!” Dasar called. 

I let him and nearly choked on air when I saw the yellow sundress he was carrying. 

“I am not wearing that.” I said. 

“Yes, you are. Come on.” 

“Fine, bring it here.” I sighed. 

He did and I changed into it. It was way out of my usual attire but I had to admit it looked really cute. I swayed slightly, looking in the mirror as the fabric flowed, and couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh, look at you.” Dasar teased from where he stood off to the side watching me look at myself in the mirror. 

“Okay, okay, fine. I look good in it. Okay, so what is the plan for the day?” I asked after I slipped on some shoes. 

“Well, first we’re going to go have breakfast with Totin and then I will fill you in for the rest of the day. Sound good?” He asked, offering me his arm. 

“Sounds wonderful.” I said taking his arm. 

When we made it to the private dining area Totin was waiting for us. I let go of Dasar’s arm and went to give him a hug. 

“How are you darling?” He said, giving me a sympathetic look which told me he obviously knew about what happened between Maul and me. 

“I’m okay. Honestly, I am just happy to be here. I’m not sure what the plan is for the day but I am excited to see more of your lovely home. It’s stunning.” 

“Well, thank you. Eat up, we’re going to give you a proper tour of the palace. I figured we could end with the ballroom and the outside ceremony area.” Dasar said. 

“Sounds great.” I smiled before walking over to take my seat. 

Some servant droids brought out platters of food for us. All of it tasted absolutely amazing. Despite the fact that I wanted to try everything, I knew I would regret feeling too full later, so I made a mental note of what I tried and what I didn’t try so I would know what to pick the next day. Once we were done, we chatted for a bit as plates were cleared then we got up and began touring the palace. It wasn’t as big as the one back on Mandalore but equally as impressive. We came up to a bare wall in one of the main halls. 

“Tragic isn’t it?” Dasar said. 

“What?” 

“The wall, it’s blank.” Totin added. 

“If only we knew someone who could paint us a beautiful piece that showed us getting married. Of course, there’s no rush, whoever does it could take their time with personal matters, like their children… if they had any.” Dasar hinted bluntly. 

“Are you asking me to paint you a picture of your wedding?” I asked with a smile. 

“Oh, I would never ask that of you know what you have coming up. But if you wanted to and were offering out of the kindness of your own heart… well I couldn’t say no.” 

I laughed before saying, “Make sure I get in touch with the photographer so I can get some reference photos to use.” 

“Thank you. And really there is no rush at all. You can honestly wait until he’s born and everything if you wanted to.” Dasar said with a soft tone proving to me that he was serious about not caring if it took a while. 

“I’ll see how my leave goes.” 

Dasar smiled. He finished showing me around and even showed me where the wedding would be in the coming days. Then we walked to where we would be getting ready for the wedding where he had multiple dresses hanging up on display. 

“I know it’s a lot.” He began upon seeing the look on my face. 

“Again, you didn’t have to do this.” I said. 

“Well, I did and you’re going to look great in them. But I wanted you to try them on today and then let me fix up your hair and makeup to make sure you like it all.” He said. 

“Dasar, this is your big day, it doesn’t matter what I look like.” 

“I don’t care. My bestie came all this way to be a part of my wedding I am going to make sure she looks drop-dead gorgeous. Now come on let’s try on the first one!” He said excitedly. 

“Fine, but why are there three dresses?” I asked. 

“One for rehearsal dinner night, one for the ceremony, and one for the celebration of course.” 

I just smiled and shook my head at his over-the-top antics. He helped me into the first one and it fit perfectly. It was a simple black dress, very similar to the nicer ones I wore back on Dathomir. 

“What shoes?” I asked, looking over myself in the mirror and running a hand over my belly. 

“I wasn’t sure honestly.” He said. 

“I have black heels I can wear. How long will rehearsal dinner be?” I asked wanting to gauge if I’d be able to last that long in heels. 

“Not too long. The rehearsal part itself shouldn’t be too long since the ceremony won’t be long. You can always take them off once we get to the dinner portion and we’re all sitting down.” He said. 

“Okay, so that covers this one…” 

I tried on the other two and we discussed shoe options for those as well. After that, I changed back into the sundress I had been wearing originally. Then he had me sit down at the vanity as he began to style my hair and do some light makeup. When he was done he let me see and I loved it. 

“I think it looks perfect.” I said to him. 

“Good. Shall we go get some lunch?” He asked. 

“That sounds like a great idea.” I said before he helped me up and we walked back to the dining hall. 

After lunch, we ended up relaxing in the lounge and discussing other details for the days to come. Soon, Totin was coming to get us to take us out on the water. We walked down to their private docking area. Before we got on, Totin turned to me and handed me a small device. 

“Place this behind your ear, it’ll help you to not get seasick.” He said. 

I nodded and attached it where he told me to. Dasar helped me carefully step onto the boat. The bottom was made of transparisteel allowing us to see the below us. It threw me for a slight loop but I quickly got used to it. 

“I am going to take you over to the coral reef on the northern side of the island.” Totin said as he walked over to the controls. 

“Sounds great!” “Come stand with me.” Dasar said, offering me his arm I took it knowing that when we began to move I would need someone or something to hold onto so I didn’t lose my balance. 

“I’ll take it slow so it’s not too rough of a ride.” Totin vowed as the boat powered up. 

True to his word, he did take it slower than I had expected to go, but I wasn’t mad about it in the slightest. When we got to the coral reef I felt like a kid on Life Day. I couldn’t stop smiling. There were so many beautiful fish bellow us. All the colors flashed around in the turquoise water around them. 

“It’s beautiful.” I said smiling. 

“It’s even better up close. Next time don’t get knocked up and we can dive down and see them better.” Dasar said, teasing me. 

“I’ll definitely bring him out here when he’s older and show him.” I said turning to Dasar as I placed a hand on my stomach.

“I look forward to it.” He said with a smile. 

We carefully cruised around the coral reef until the sun began to set. Then we began to head back. I had such a fun time. I only wish Maul could have been there too. Although I was still pissed off at him for not coming I had to admit I was missing him a whole lot. 

“Oh Totin, why don’t we doc at the other side? Show her the hidden cove?” I heard Dasar ask. 

Totin nodded but had a weird look on his face as if he were up to something. I shrugged it off and just continued to look around me at all the beautiful sites. I saw the doc as we began to approach it. This one was much smaller than the one we had left from. There was also someone standing on it. We were too far for me to see who it was, but it’s not like I knew very many people here. It could honestly be a droid. So instead of watching us approach the doc, I turned my attention to the cove. 

“Alright, and that will conclude our coral reef tour.” Totin said dramatically as if he were a tour guide. 

I laughed and went to turn around to thank him but stopped short. It hadn’t been a droid on the doc. It was Maul and he was holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. 

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I will add tags later

[cierraonline]

S2EP2: BILLIE AND SIREN DIVORCED!?....& more

Read in dark mode please 

💚💚💚💚

I can tell you want it good, girl

You ain't gotta worry no more

You keep my bottles cold and you pop 'em

As soon as I walk in the door

These dudes don't know me from Adam and Eve

That's why they can't mess up my flow

And when this beat drops, your heart stops

You feel it from your head to your toes

If you know what I'm talking 'bout (Hey)

Let me see you work it out (Hey, girl)

Girl, that's what I'm talking 'bout (Come on, Finneas, talk to 'em)

💚💚💚💚

“Wait is that our new theme song!?” Billie smiles in excitement hearing her brother’s voice in a style she never knew he even liked, since his style of personal music was more on the indie side. 

“Maybe,” Siren shrugged her shoulder not really having a thought about it being the theme song for the podcast. “It was just really a snippet of my album as a producer.”

“It sounds so good so far,” Claudia compliments. “So you’re working on two albums this year?”

“Yeah, well the first album as the artist is already completed, and this album as the producer is just something to work on while I am bed-ridden.”

“Why are you being bed-ridden?” Concern was slapped onto Zoe’s face as this was the first time any of them was hearing this. 

“The doctor said that Siren is going to experience a high-risk pregancy so within the next month or two we have to prepare for her to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregancy,” Billie offers clarification. “She didn’t tell us why thought. But she did say everything is healthy.”

“Maybe you guys are having more than one?” Claudia suggested. 

“My stomach isn’t even that big for it to be more than one,” Siren shook her head. “And I don’t think I can handle pushing out more than one body out of me.” 

“Well your belly just popped so it might grow increasingly over the next few weeks.”

“Let’s not put that out into the universe,” Siren nervously laughs. “It’s gonna be one baby and one baby only.” 

“I think it’s going to be twins,” Claudia smirks.

“Ouu that would be cute,” Zoe gawks. “Like one mini Siren and one mini Billie.”

“That sounds like a nightmare for them if that is to happen,” Billie laughs. “We were so bad as kids. If we get mini verison of ourselves we would then be forced to expereince what our parents had to go through with us.” 

“We’re not having twins, it’s just one baby in me,” Siren declares.

“But you don’t know that,” Claudia states, with a big smile on her face.

“And you don’t know that there’s twins because none of us have actually seen the screen or hear the heart beats.”

“Why is this pregnancy such a secret?” Zoe questions. 

“Probably because the writer made an impulse decision to make Siren pregnant and doesn’t know what direction she wants to take it in,” Billie looks at the camera.

“Huh?” All the girls turns to Billie.

“I mean-” Billie clears her throat. “Because I think it would be such a crazy and iconic moment…almost like russian roulette.” 

“Oh.” 

“I’m Billie and that pregnant gal over there is Siren and you’re watching the ‘Whatever the Fuck This Is’ Podcast and like always we have Claudia and Zoe on the couch and Rodrick behind the camera. 

“Can we talk about what happened after therapy? How are you guys doing, honestly,” Claudia turned to the married couple in the room. 

“Well, I moved out the house and now staying with my brother next door,” Siren reveals.

“At the moment we are separated,” Billie adds. 

“So you guys are actually going through with the separation thing?” Zoe asks for clarification.

💚💚💚💚

Dr. Maleeka Brown’s Office

I think Billie and Siren need a break from each other 

The room went silent and back to its tense ways including the family therapist who honestly did not see this coming. 

“Who wrote this,” She tried to keep her tone neutral. 

“I did,” Patrick raised his hand.

“Why would you say that?” Billie comes off aggressive to her father. “Like do you want me to be unhappy. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Billie I’m sure your father has a good reason on why he wrote that,” Maggie jumps in trying to mediate. 

“What possible reason can he have to want me and Siren to not be together anymore?”

“You’re already unhappy Billie. Because if you were happy, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now,” Patrick states. 

“Billie lets calm down,” The therapist looks at her patient before turning to her father. “Can you explain to us, but most importantly to the girls why you think they should take a break from each other.”

“All they know is each other like the back of their hands and because they believe they know everything about one another it was easy from them to jump into marriage. They didn’t take the time to get to know each other on an intimate level that involves dating.”

“Okay that make sense,” Dr.Maleeka Brown agrees as the rest of the older adults in the room nodded in agreeance.

“No it doesn’t,” Billie deadpans. “If Siren and I know everything about each other there’s no need for the useless dating phase.”

“There’s always a need for the “useless” dating phase, Billie,” Patrick intercepts her thinking. 

“Your father is right, Billie,” Dr. Maleeka chimes in. “The dating phase is where you see the green flags and the red flags. Learn about what motivates each other and learn about what causes self-sabtoaging on an intimate level. And for example, if you dated you would’ve learned about Siren’s bad drug use before the marriage and not during it. Siren would’ve learned that you actually do want kids. When you are dating even if it’s your best friend the conversation is no longer based on what you thought you knew but rather what you're willingly to learn and what needs to be updated.”

“So you think we should put our marriage on a hiatus and date to learn more about each other?” Siren spoke up for the first time in a while. “Okay, I’m down.”

“What about you, Billie?” Eyes turned to the ocean eyed girl.

“No because I’m not understanding why we need to basically get a semi-divorce to date and learn new things about each other.” Frustration reeked from the girl. 

“Because the safety blanket is knowing that at the end of the night you will fall asleep in bed with Siren next to you. If you separate, that safety blanket doesn’t exist until you put in the work to create it.”

“I still don’t want to do it,” Billie shook her head. 

“You do realize we are close to being stuck in a endless marriage that none of us are happy in if we keep going down this path, right?” Siren questions her wife.

“No we’re not. You love me and I love you. We are going to be okay. Every married couple goes through a rough patch,” Billie tries to reason, grabbing ahold of her wife’s hand. 

“If you love me then you would do this for me,” Siren gave her direct eye contact. 

💚💚💚💚

“It’s not a separation, it’s a hiatus,” Billie corrects. “And honestly, although I was against the idea, I can see that it’s probably the best thing we could’ve ever done.” 

“Yeah, like I’ve never been in relationship before and all I knew about being in one is what you and Finneas would share and I didn’t understand what the bubblyness was about since you guys knew each other like forever. But now I understand,” Siren smiles. 

“It reminded me how fun dating and going on date actually are and reflecting on the dates we’ve been on lately made me feel bad because I don’t think I ever took Siren anywhere and it labeled as a date or made her feel like it was one.”

“So what have you gys been doing?” Zoe smiles.

“We’ve honestly just been around the compound and eating at the different restaurants or going to the movies that I recently developed in the compound.”

“I think now we make sure to priortize not always needing to be around each other and creating mystery and anticipation, so we have something to talk about when we go on our dates,” Billie adds. 

“Is there ever a time where you guys didn’t know what to talk about?” Claudia begins. “Because there are times where Finneas and I would go out to eat and we simply wouldn’t know what to talk about after a certain period in the date.”

“Our first date was so awkward because we didn’t know what to talk about about everything the casual how you been. And before the second date, I was at Barnes and Nobles looking for a dummies book for parenting newborns and as I’m walking I pass by the gaming aisle and saw this box where it had basically questions and conversation to have on dates. So at our second date I bought them and we just had fun.”

“The game was fun, but also helped me update answers about Siren I thought I knew like i thought her least favorite color was green but it actually deep red due to the times she had to wipe up my blood from when I would hurt my self.”

“Just going on these dates is starting to build our intimacy with one another and changing the mindset to that we know everything to there’s more to know,” Siren smiles.

“This is the most I’ve seen you genuinely smile in a while, Siren,” Rodrick speaks up from behind the camera. 

“Eww,” Siren laughs at his comment, knowing what to actually say. 

“So speaking of intimacy," Zoe smirks. “Did you guys stop having sex with the hiatus.” Flushed with red the girls looked in other directions.

“U-um.”

“Wow.”

“I’m guessing you guys are still having sex then.”

“Look at their faces, Billie is tomato red,” Claudia points out.

“I will say, Billie and I did not have sex after the first and second date.”

“What about the dates after?” Zoe hums. 

“It’s not our fault!” Billie exclaims laughing. “The sexual attention just lives there and everything feels more intense than it did before.” 

“Plus, Billie developed this breeding kink so she’s more damnding and in control in bed since the pregnancy.”

“Oh my God!”

“Eww.”

“What the fuck!” 

“Let’s change the topic,” Redness traveld from the top of Billie’s head down to her neck as she covered her mouth to hold in her embarrassed laughs. “You have a conspiracy theory for us,” She turns to Rodrick. 

“Okay so you know how people on social media been talking about how Chipotle has been giving out super small portions?”

“Yeah,” Everyone agreed. 

“Well it’s been said that their manager tells them to do that. And people who order online have it worst. So today we’re going to test that out. Off to the Conspiracy van!” Rodrick gets up from his seat and runs away from the setup.

“So do we just follow him?” Cluadia looks in the direction the male ran off to. 

“I..guess.”

💚💚💚💚

“Where the fuck did you get a replica Scooby Doo gang van from?” Siren takes a seat in the passenger van, with her eyes scanning every cervice of the vehicle.

“Replica?” Rodrick mocks offended.

“Don’t tell me you bought the actual Scooby Doo van from the movie?” Billie turns to him with wide eyes.

“Okay, I won’t,” The shaggy haired boy shrugged his shoulders. 

“You have way too much money,” Siren shook her head in disbelief.

“Thanks to you, buttercup,” The boy pinches his best friend’s cheek, resulting in his hand being slapped away. 

“Don’t touch me.” The brown-skin female snarls at him in a threatening warning tone.

“Be good or no Scooby Snacks,” Rodrick teases.

“You have Scobby Snacks?” her eyes widen in want and adoration.

“The box is under your seat, my friend.” Rodrick states as he turns on the engine which automatically causes the Scooby Doo theme song to play.

“Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now. Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We need some help from you now,” Everyone in the car sings along vibing to the song.

“Off to expose Chipotle!” Rodrick screams, accelerating out of the driveway and speeding through the back pathway since cars aren’t allowed inside the compound in order to maintain the environment being walking friendly.

“I thought you liked Chipotle,” Zoe speaks up from the back. How does she know that? Siren eyes subtly widen in realization of the conversation that happened a couple weeks ago. 

“Hmm, i guess i was wrong,” The white eyed girl mumbles to herself. 

💚💚💚💚

“Okay so the running thesis is that Chipotle hates their customers so therefore they serve little portions…but since small portions don’t follow corporate standards whenever there’s a camera out recording they make sure to do extra,” Rodrick explains, putting the car in park. 

“Or maybe they give little portions so they don’t have to keep making food since they’re use to long lines,” Billie reasons, not seeing what the big deal is.

“If I’m paying $11 plus tax. I want my money’s worth.”

“Your order is only eleven?” Siren turns her head to her best friend. “Mine is like sixteen sometimes twenty.”

“What the fuck are you ordering that causing you to spend almost $20 at Chipotle?” Billie looks at her separated-but-still-dating wife. 

“The barbacoa is not scooped up into the bowl like the other proteins so I always get double protein,” Siren explains with a guilty tone ridden in her words. 

“Anyways my app isn’t working so let’s use your phone, Siren,” The shaggy haired boy holds out his hand in which a disposable camera phone cased Iphone is placed in his palm. “How do you have five hundred points?”

“I'm feeding another human being, don’t judge.”

“Are we going to like confront them if this is like a serious thing?” Claudia asks with excitement. 

“We’ll have Siren do it since she’s the meanest one here.”

“I am not mean,” Siren pouts her lip, crossing her arms.

“You want the twenty two year old who looks like a pregnant sixteen year old to confront them?” Billie points out. 

“Plus I thought we were coming back for lunch tomorrow?” Zoe questions.

“You guys have lunch together?” Billie turns to her childhood best friend.

“N-n..uh..sometimes.” Zoe stutters out, not knowing how to respond. 

“Does anyone have a burrito order?” Rodrick asks, quickly changing the subject before Siren opens her mouth to say something smart. 

“I want a burrito,” Siren speaks.

“I want a bowl,” Claudia adds. 

“Okay we can do Siren’s burrito and Claudia’s bowl on the app,” Billie directs, looking down at Siren’s phone that displayed the app as Rodrick beings clicking on buttons, ordering their food. 

“Alright everything is ordered,” Rodrick announces. “Alright me and Zoe are going to do the in person orders since you guys are too recgonizable and might ruin this theory by getting special treatment.”

“Technically wouldn’t your thesis just be changed to restaurants are biased when it comes to celebrities with influence ordering food,” Siren questions. 

“Nah, the Keith Lee movement already proved that.”

“True,” all the females agreed. A second later Zoe and Rodrick found themselves walking to the chain restaurant but as they were walking Siren couldn’t help but to noticed how close to each other they were walking.

“Are they messing around with one another?” Billie whispers in Siren’s ear. 

“I think so,” Siren answers. “Honestly I thought it Dre who she was crushing on. Who would’ve thought?”

“So do we tease her about it?”

“Not yet.” 

“What are you guys whispering about?” Claudia looks at the pair.

“Nothing,” Billie blurts out revealing that she was lying.

“Anal sex,” Siren states calmly showing no signs of deceit. 

“Why?” Claudia looked disgusted, wishing that she never asked her initial question. 

“Ever heard curiosity killed the cat,” Siren remarked. 

“Ever heard satisfaction bought it back,” Claudia rebuttals with a smirk drawn on her face.

“I told Billie I want to try anal sex since I fear if we have regular sex she would just be hitting the baby. And then we went on about what size dildo we shoud buy.” the lie danced off the brown skin’s tongue. 

“Eww,” Claudia’s face scrunched up, before looking back at her phone.

“Wait,” Billie whispering turning her head back to Siren. “Do you really want to try anal?”

“Sure I’ll be your bottom bitch.”

“I understadn why Zoe left but why did Rodrick leave? What are we supposed to talk about to the camera since this whole theory is his?” Billie states.

“We can talk about how Biden dropped out the election race,” Siren offers.

“Since when were you into politics or even current events. Not once have I ever seen you picked up a newspaper or watch the news,” Billie comments. 

“My phone died and I was forced to watch the tv at the doctor’s office in which they only played the news and that’s what the people on the tv were talking about.”

“All I’m going to say is thank God,” Claudia praised. “This whole election is giving a shit show.”

“I don’t think I’m going to vote,” Siren shook her head.

“Yes the fuck you are,” Strict Billie came out to play. “A no vote is a vote for the other side. And have you seen that bullshit, Project 2025 floating around? You’re fucking voting even if I have to drag your ass to the polls.”

“So who the fuck are we voting for because it’s giving we’ll all be damned either way.”

“I heard that VIP Kamala Harris is going to be running as a replacement,” Billie answers, not realizing the mistake she made.

“VIP?” Siren squinted her eyes. 

“What?” Billie looked confused. 

“Who’s VIP?”

“Kamala Harris…”

“Um..Billie I don’t think she’s VIP,” Claudia recgonize the mistake the brunette was saying. 

“Yes she is,” Billie nods her head. 

“Well she is but just not in the way you’re meaning it,” Claudia responds, hoping the girl would catch onto her own mistake. 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It’s VP not VIP, dumbass,” Siren remarks.

“You guys knew what the fuck I meant!”

“Did we?”

“Imma just shut up,” Billie sat back in her seat, not saying a word again after. 

“We are back!” Zoe announces their presence as the two spies walked closer to the van and jumping in. “We got the in person orders and to-go orders.”

“So what’s next, Scobby?” Siren turns to the mastermind of this concept for the podcast. 

“We simply just weigh them,” He pulls out a flat scale. 

“Hmm, I had the same scale a few years ago,” Siren hums.

“What the fuck did you have a tiny ass scale for?’ Billie spoke up for the first time in a while since the girls made fun of her. 

“To measure weed before selling it,” The Vixen girl shrugged her shoulder.

“Sometimes I forget that you used to sell drugs,” Billie comments.

“It was the highlight of my teen years…you know besides the birthing drug addiction….and becoming famous.”

“Anyways, let’s measure these bad boys,” Rodrick ignore what his best friend said in order to not start a roasting battle as he would lose up against Siren. “First the burritos.” Digging in both bags the boy pulled out the food and there was an obvious difference. 

“One is bigger than the other,” Billie states.

“Thank you Catherine obvious” Rodrick deadpans.

“The saying is captain obvious,” Billie spits back.

“You didn't watch Nick growing up did you?” Rodrick stares at her.

“Huh? What does that have to do with anything.”

“He said the phrase right, it’s Catherine obvious as in the line from Victorious when Tori didn’t know the correct phrase was captain obvious,” Siren explains.

“Ohhh.” 

“So the bigger one is the in store order with my phone out recording... and the small one is the to go order meaning the conspiracy theory is correct. If you oder online you should expect less food compared to the obvious amount of food from ordering inside with the camera on their guilty asses,” Rodrick tells the camera. 

“Fuck, that was my food,” the pregnant one moans. 

“Not they discriminating against preganant women,” Zoe jokes causing everyone to laugh besides Siren who was pouting about her food. 

“Now the bowls,” He hands the burritos over to Siren who happily unwrapped hers and took a big bite. Although she was upset about the portion, the taste on her tongue blinded her anger at the food chain. “This one was in store,” He opens the bowl that Zoe ordered. “And this one was ordered on the app,” He opens Claudia. “They look the same but maybe let’s weigh it.” Placing the scale in the middle so everyone would be able to see it, Rodrick places the the in store bowl on the scale and it read 705 grams. Switching out the bowls, the scale revealed that Rodrick’s thesis was correct. “682..Chiptole is ripping us off.”

“So you gonna go in and have them fix it?” Siren asked, not knowing whats the next step here is. Are they going back inside to get it fixed or just accepting it and one of them eat the bowl?

“I guess we just go back home and eat the food…i guess.”

“Claudia close us out.”

“Well people, if you haven’t been watching because you were too busy scrolling on your phone. Billie and Siren are temporary separated so be prepared to see those sad romance ship tiktoks all over your fyp. But don’t worry they'll still be sleeping in the same bed again soon and it won't just be after they had regular or anal sex. Joe Bidden dropped out the race and we might be on our way to having our first female President, so make sure to vote so your voice can be heard. And today Rodrick proves he is not a dumbass and that Chipotle is ripping off us especially if you order online. This was Whatever the Fuck This Is Podcast see you next week.”

💚💚💚💚

[rayshippouuchiha]

For me, The Prince Of Leaves And Deep Water, because, well I've been in the Naruto fandom for a long time and I've seen so many fics demonise and push Kushina to the side while focusing on Minato who's 'cooler' and we see more of in canon, and I've also seen fics that make her a really annoying loudmouth version of Sakura which I guess has context given Minato thinks it when they meet in canon, so for me her character outside of her love for Naruto is really nebulous y'know? I've just seen so many 2dimensional takes she's kind of just there for me usually.

But the prince of leaves and deep water changed that, it impacted me significantly with its characterisation of Kushina, her desire to believe in the home she loves warring with her deeper awareness of cruelty than Minato, her trust in Minato, her fucking rage at the unfairness of the day that was supposed to be one of their happiest ending with their baby orphaned and alone. The way she can feel her people dying around her during the 9 tails attack on Konoha, the way that hits knowing how uzushio was wiped out of existence, the way she grieves uzushio in an old aching kind of way and Konoha's dead in a fresh raw wound kind of way, the way she grieves herself and the love of her life and her son, her poor son who she'll never get to know grow up. It's fucking insane. It drives me insane when I think about it! This woman made of all the grief in the world hoping and gambling and praying that the world will be kind to her child. And that, all that contrasted with the softness of the nickname "my little prince of eddies and leaves".

So yeah that's the fic that sticks with me.

Also don't intend this as backhanded or anything but sincerely, I'm especially impressed as I am personally not mad on the kakanaru pairing in the least given Kakashi's failure to tell him fuckall about his parents in canon or really train him in any tangible way beyond helping with the rasenshuriken years after Naruto's been apprenticed with Jiraiya which is really just.. plot driven and not enough to make up for things imo and also the whole sensei student thing in canon making it iffy (for me). But the writing in this fic is in fact so fucking good and reflects so much of my own feelings about Naruto's childhood I can literally enjoy it past the notp which is incredible, very few fic are good enough to keep me locked in 100% investment despite a NOtp but this fic achieves that and then some. Also just, the way it highlights these facets of characters that make sense but for some reason I'd never considered being a thing? Great. I love it. And this fic made me love Kushina again despite her shaky handling by the fandom in general inuring me to her presence a lot. And by love, I mean I adore her and I'm grateful for it.

no but this is just one big ass huge compliment in my opinion because being able to get that emotion across with Kushina and then to even make you stick with the fic through a NOTP? That means so much to me

[look-mom-percys-on-the-tv]

Ep 5 reactions

spoilers beneath the cut for s1e5 and minor spoilers for most of the books, but I censored the traitor's name. mostly positive tone.

ANNABETH SAW THE FUCKING FATES

"Im the last one to realize this aren't I" A LITTLE BIT

I love Percy admitting there he was really ONLY in it for Sally. Poseidon does ONE good thing and all of a sudden it's "wait I think the conspiracy to start war betten the gods is... important?" SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET REASONABLE PARENTING EXPECTATIONS? A certain god could be taking notes, specifically the patent of [REDACTED]

go off Percy with the emotional intelligence. A for effort

and an A PLUS to Annabeth for the sharing important info and being vulnerable.

I see that coat covering the bike seat. there's human skin on that thing, isn't there?

LIVING the portrayal of Ares as man-baby who starts twitter fights. average maturity level of anyone who likes war.

"there's no fear in you, is there?" STAWPPP

THEY KEPT THE MANHUNT PLOT🎉🎉🎉🎉 also the Gabe is Gabe-ing. Manipulate mansplain manwhore on the most literal level. except disney probably cut the womanizer bit.

the whole "Im immature as shit but my threats are real, I hold all the cards" THE GOD OF WAR IS GODOFWAR-ING

"can I walk them to the door" IS HE GONNA RUN FOR IT? they're really letting Grover miss out on this quest, huh? I mean I guess it makes sense. PLUS it means more Grover-exclusive scenes! MY BOYY

that's a lie. there HAVE to be corny movie nights at camp, right?

ALSO botl movie date, anyone?👀👀👀👀

is that? a JOKE I HEAR??? poking fun at Percy? a little. Genuine? ALSO TRUE. If you told me that "amusing" line was Liften from the book and I've just forgotten about it all five million times I read it, I WOULD BELIEVE YOU

Annabeth who complimented Circe's loom when Percy got cursed🤝 Annabeth who complimented Hepheastus when Percy got trapped

the way she says push before telling him what it is😭😭😭

WE'VE MET BEFORE. I'M 24. A FAN!? GROVER WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT

songs about feelings that was PERSONAL

*insert Coach Hedge talking about nature*

Annabeth asking what Ares need the kids for if he wants the bolt/thinks their quest means nothing🤝 Grover gaslight girlbossing : doing detective work under Percy's nose

OOOH good detail with Percy being caught up with all the "3000 year-old goss" because HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM hi sally i fuckign love u

"don't even try to tell me not to be weird about this" we love an honest queen. While I kinda miss book Annabeth being a bit stompy and whiny at this part, I do think that the show version suits its own characterization of Annabeth, saying whatever she thinks needs to be said.

this whole show, I've been able to see everything. episode five DO NOT be the one to let me down! PLEASE!

THE SONG omg i wasnt expecting that. miraculous movie flashbacks fr.

W CONVO. DOUBLEYOU CONVO. nothing to add. perfection.

Also. don't shoot but the song choice unironically fits Hephaestus's story.

SWIMMING

is that a giant gold naked statue of Hera? to taunt them for cheating on him? hypocrite.

"they like to ignore what doesn't fit their narrative" [REDACTED] APOLOGISTS TAKE NOTES.

also, SMOOTH AF

okay there's no way Annabeth doesn't know that story. there's ONE way to take a god's power and she doesn't know it? at least let them tell it in tandem! a little "Yeah I recognize the chair, what of it?" THEN let the touchy-feely boy present the bargain. AT LEAST.

SHE'S NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM

"do you need some help?" "FUCK OFF" that's Annabeth

in the one hand, I am not a fan of depriving Annabeth of her super wisdom hero moment. on the other hand, placing responsibility to fix things on the perpetrators instead of those kids from Season ONE queen shit, and showing people can change. slay, but PLEASE let Annabeth do some more puzzle shit!

THE SHIELD LOOKS SO BIG IN HER HANDS

THESE FUCKIGN TWELMVE YEAR OLDS

OH so [REDACTED] and Ares conspired to make sure the trio never makes it there, not just using the magic things that activate at a certain place, but also by DIRECTING THEM TO THE TIME FREEZE ON PURPOSE

TO SUMMON WHAT

that interaction. SO THEM

YOU KNOW WHO WHATTED THE WHAT

[rollercoasterwords]

In my neighbourhood, there’s this little pink wooden house-on-a-stand sort of thing, with The Free Library written on it. The rule is, take a book, leave a book. My parents don’t like me going there, because then they can’t check if the books are ‘appropriate,’ like they do all my library books. But I go anyway, because of course I do. One day last summer, I went and found two cool-looking books, Lars Iyer’s Wittgenstein Jr., and Eve Zaremba’s Work for a Million. Reading the prior literally sent me into a weeklong philosophical crisis, changed my life in unimaginable ways, and hugely shaped the person I am today, but today I want to talk about the former. Work for a Million.

I’ve had WfoM for almost a year now, but I’ve never really tried to read it, until yesterday. I was bedrotting, sick with writer’s block, surrounded by barely worn clothes, a dozen led pencils, a few empty starbucks bottles, and the sea of thingamabobits that’s spilled from my desk onto my bed. I saw the book on my shelf, and thought, ‘why not?’ So thus I got up to grab it.

Skimming through. It’s a crime novella, about a dyke detective, written in the 1980s. In the introduction, the author touches briefly on what the eighties were like. I, being still very much a teenager, know nothing of the eighties, except of course from marauders fanfiction. 

And then I remembered you, Rae, and your retelling of ATYD. And then I was just struck by the memory of reading it and what a talented writer you were in that.  Granted, it’s been a while since I’ve read anything by you, and frankly I found atwmd to be quite boring, and stopped following after a few chapters. But still, from what I remember, when you write you have this innate ability to just transport the reader into the narrative, and it’s like they experience the story just as the characters do. That’s how I felt, at least. I felt, perhaps stupidly, that I, in a way, experienced pieces of the seventies because of the way you wrote about them. You just create this vibe, that in a moment pulls readers into the story and leaves them dazen and blinking at its end. ‘The fuck just happened?’, they’ll ask each other, palms to their foreheads. ‘Did you feel that too?’

I don’t know if it’s years of practice or just natural talent, but the way you write is something I, as an aspiring writer, really respect and maybe even envy. I think if we knew each other in real life we’d be friends. Or maybe I’d follow you around like an annoying child, I don’t know. This message is more a thank-you than a compliment. Even when I’m older, I think whenever I’m stressed and my copy of Wittgenstein Jr. isn’t on my person, I’ll probably just open up ao3 and start rereading your Summer 1977 to calm myself down. So for that future, thank you. And for the past, the first time I read your writing, thank you. Sincerely, kudos.

-Robert.

emoji representation of me reading this message:

🙂🧐😲🙂😊😧😟😔🤨😕😐🙂🤭😊😌🙂🤗

i appreciate the kind words! glad my take on atyd resonated w u & wishing u all the best w ur own writing etc <3

[firstdivisiongirl]

hello^^ id like to request a romantic match-up if its okay with you My pronouns are she/her and im an asexual. My MBTI is INTP and so please understand if im not able to identify myself that great. Yk the kid in the class who doesn't do any hw but passes all of the subject? Well yes thats me. Also im great at mathematics. I have kind of strict parents but more protective type so im not allowed to go to any person's house. I get told by my friends that when they first saw me i looked like a rly cold or egoistical person and all , as for my best friend (i asked her) to describe me in 1 word she said "comfort" so hope that makes sense. Im 5'2 tall... really bad eyesights like -6.25 and 5.75 (if i can remember correctly) . Im not really the outstanding type, but i do have some amount of confidence honestly. Also im a Christian and hope you get what i mean^^ Im able to like uhh copy people's personality and i currently have "the perfect girl" personality copied from the class president. I kinda sound like only complimenting myself soo here's some weaknesses or things like that I procrastinate so much and mostly doesn't get hw done until the deadline (im trying to stop even in the littlest). Horrible sleep schedule. And sometimes pushes ppl away out of frustration. I hate gathering any useless attention (like social anxiety). And mostly i do not feel much emotion until i like be burst of emotion. I really have a lot of great idea and is able to tell people if they're lying or not like kinda reading people but i dont really talk out loud about it, i only talk rarely about them out of fear they think im weird or smth because i was neglected and talked behind my back in 6th grade before. And a lazy fashion sense coming in!!!!!!!! i usually just wear baggy clothes or like wear smth the same mostly because im too tired to make another outfit and memorize it I like yanderes pretty much (crybaby, possessive, manipulating , clingy, obsessive type...) Deep inside im really clingy, childish and a sore loser , i don't really realize my surroundings so i tend to forget roads a lott I can be a motormouth if im comfortable by it and can be really quiet , some things depends on my mood tho Weirdly scared of person using the stairs behind me , bcz its really creepy. If a conversation annoyes or bothers me i really try and make excuses to get out of it.. Hope u can get smth out with my horrible explanation TT

and please remember to take care of urselff!!!!!! its my first ask so im a bit nervous TT its currently 10;37PM here, so have a great day and good day/night/morning!!!!!!^^ (me trying to come cheery and nice as much as possible)

cyaaa!!!!!:DD

Hey there. I try to take care of myself, but I am always a mess lol. Don't be nervous about asking. You did a good job. So onto the Tokyo Revengers matchup!

You Got...

Taiju Shiba!!!

He is a tough nut to crack, but I think he would love you.

Both of you are religious and would bond over that and go to church together.

He needs a a partner who is confident.

He'd love how you can be anything you want to be and copy others.

I feel like he needs someone who can read people well, since he is a lot. You would be able to understand what's going on in his mind. Good luck, I think it is scary in there.

Would scare off people who walk behind you

He's the type of guy who would make sure you never get lost

Wouldn't really care if you were in tight clothes or baggy clothes. He loves you for you. (If he cared about looks he would have kicked Inupi out for looking like discount Sabo lol)

Dates would be anything you want. But there must be good food!

Would like your clinginess. That means he gets to spend more time with you.

I hope you like it!

[twistmusings]

Hi Mod Azul! I was wondering if I could request some parenting headcanons for Riddle x Floyd? :) (With them probably adopting lmfao).

Kinda random, but this was actually sparked by your "Riddle's Conversation with his Mother" post lol. I also just wanted to compliment you on it and how well executed it was. I appreciated the honesty that went into it. How some people will always think they're in the right; they won't listen to you, nor will they change, and sometimes you just have to move away from that. (Also Riddle wanting to cry and go to Trey, but him also knowing that doing so will make things worse??? Him seeing Trey's family, their relationship helping him learn how his own mother's treatment of him isn't right????😭😭😭) Riddle's sorrow was palpable, but so was his determination and hope. The line about Riddle wanting to break the cycle particularly struck me! Ofc, this comes with Riddle growing apart from his mother and into a healthier lifestyle, along with a lot of reflection and struggle and! Betterment!! :) It got me wondering how would Riddle be like as a parent growing out of that kind of cycle? And on a much less serious/more random note, how Floyd's spontaneity may agitate or encourage that growth. I just thought it was interesting :) but i also totally understand if this request is too random/specific🤣🤣🤣 and being able to communicate my appreciation for Riddle's Conversation is enough:)

Thank you for everything you write :) i hope moving is going well!! take care Mod Azul <333

This message is so incredibly sweet. I am so genuinely touched that you liked my Riddle post because I know that the subject of dysfunctional families isn't always something fun to read about. And on top of it all you ask me for florid, which, if I may be biased for a moment, is one of my favorite ships. 😭

Floyd and Riddle as parents.

CW: Mentions of unhealthy parent-child relationship (Riddle and his mother), fluffy as fuck and long as fuck.

Note: This is set with both characters being in their late twenties.

I feel like becoming parents was a very long process for the two of them. Not in a bad way, actually, it was just very well thought out.

Floyd was the one to prompt the discussion: I've mentioned in the past how his biology gives him bad baby fever when he feels comfortable and safe in his life, so that was what prompted it. Riddle, on the other hand, had never really thought about kids. (Nor had he really thought about being in a relationship, either, but here he was, in a committed relationship with Floyd.)

To his credit, Floyd thought out his approach very carefully. He had only heard bits and pieces about Riddle's mother and had met her a grand total of once before the both of them were kicked out of her house. (Sometimes Floyd still remembers how worried he'd been that Riddle would be devastated only to look over and see him with a very smug and self satisfied smile on his face at her reaction. It turned out that Riddle had done it intentionally to piss her off so she'd kick him out 'to think about his choices' so he didn't have to deal with her for the holidays. Its disgustingly sappy, but he's pretty sure that was the day he well and truly fell head over heels for Riddle.) He knows that there's not a good history with his mom, so Floyd had thought it would be best to test the waters before actually asking outright if he wanted kids.

He tried to be subtle about it, just pointing out children when he saw them, hoping to get a temperature read on how Riddle felt about kids in general. "There's a whole line of kids dressed up for halloween! The one with a crown on reminds me of you." or "Hee hee, they have mini-sized boots for baby feet." Riddle would always acknowledge it but was surprisingly quiet about his thoughts.

"Oh, Riddle, look! There's a school trip!"

Riddle looks up from the case of desserts he's looking at in the direction that Floyd is watching, and sure enough a line of children is waddling by behind a guide and their teacher on a field trip, he assumed.

He glanced back to Floyd, wondering why he'd been mentioning baby stuff so much recently. Floyd had already told him before that he tended to get a little baby-crazy at times, and he was about to ask if it was starting up again when a slight movement caught his eye.

His eyes dropped to where he hand that wasn't holding his own had come to rest on Floyd's shirt. It flexed a little, fabric gripped between it, and when Riddle glanced at his face, he noticed that the others eyes were glittering and crinkled at the corners as he smiles.

He follows his gaze back to the group of children who are excitedly pointing at the sweets on display, and that's what makes it click.

"Floyd..." The other perks up, fingers still tangled in his shirt and smile still gracing his lips. "You want kids, don't you?"

It's not a question-- more of an accusation, really.

Floyd's face drops and he opens his mouth and makes a couple of aborted noises. Riddle recognizes it as what he does when he back-pedals-- what he does when he thinks he's done something that actually makes Riddle mad.

"I dunno what you're talkin' 'bout, goldfishie~." He settles on, trying for his normal sing-song tone but sounding a little strained. Riddle shakes his head with a sigh-- while he was glad that Floyd had learned to be a bit more tactful with showing his affection, sometimes he wished he would just drop it and be blunt with him.

Riddle squeezes the hand that's still linked with his own, falling silent and looking back toward the desert case. He sorted his thoughts in the time it took for the waitress to take the order for what he wanted.

As she took the tarts aside to put them in a box, Riddle squeezed Floyd's hand again.

"You could have just asked me outright, you know I wouldn't have been upset with you. So why didn't you?"

Floyd huffs, clearly not wanting to answer this line of inquiry. He tries to pull his hand away from Riddle's, trying to close himself off. Riddle doesn't let him, already familiar with this little trick of his.

"Jus' thought it might be a sensitive subject." Floyd sighs brusquely, and when Riddle looks over at him in confusion he realizes that Floyd is resolutely not looking in his direction. Instead he's watching the children playing again and rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Why would it be?"

"... Cause of your Ma."

Ah. No, that tracks. Truly, sometimes Floyd was too smart for his own good. He seemed to be better at reading Riddle's feelings before he was, sometimes.

"I see." Riddle hums. His mom... he hadn't really thought about that. In fairness, he'd never thought of kids in general, though, either. He doesn't think he would be like his mother but... well, he's never really been in a parental role either. Sometimes he does catch himself saying something and hearing her voice coming out in place of his own. It makes him shudder a little every time, but surely that was a sign that he was trying to be better, right?

It's not exactly a comfortable silence between them, for the next few minutes as they take a seat at the table in the bakery and pull out their desserts. Floyd has barely picked at his tart, Riddle notes, as he chews his own slowly and considers what's on his mind. He glances back over at the field trip group as they finish getting their own treats and go trotting out the door chipperly.

"...Do you think I'm like her?"

Floyd snaps to attention, looking at Riddle like he'd grown a second head.

"What? No." Floyd frowns, gesturing with his hands and glaring at him as if he's personally offended that Riddle would compare himself to his own mother. "No."

"You think so?"

"This is a joke, right, Riddle?" Riddle can't help the slight quirk of his lips at the use of his real name, it's how he knew Floyd was being serious. "She would be too busy counting the calories in that tart to think about anything else."

"Mhm. And she would be arguing with the waitress right now and demanding the nutritional information." Riddle places the last bite of his tart into his mouth to hide his smile.

"And then she would ask if they could substitute the flour for oats or sawdust or somethin' because it would be healthier."

"She would."

"And then she'd tell the whole school group off for letting those kids have that much sugar and how it's 'bad for their growing brains'."

"Yes. And she wouldn't try to do this." Riddle says, jabbing his fork toward Floyd's own tart, which Floyd preempts and slides it far enough across the table that it's out of his reach. Drat.

"Ooh, devious goldfishie~! Too slow." Floyd laughs, mood already improved noticeably, hand propping his head up against the table. Despite not letting him steal it, Floyd cuts a chunk off his own tart and holds it up for Riddle to eat. "You know, she would be screamin' her head off even seeing you eat one of these. Like food can be 'bad' even if it tastes good. You're nothin' like her."

Riddle accepts the offered bite, carefully tucking his hair behind his ear as he leans forward to eat it off the other's fork. He also, rather insistently, threads his fingers between Floyd's, trapping the fork between their hands. Floyd laughs at that, too.

"You make it hard to eat when you do that." Riddle merely smiles back impishly, daring Floyd to figure it out. He truly brings out the playful side of him.

He hums thoughtfully, wiping his mouth with his napkin politely as Floyd unwedges the fork from between their hands so he can eat with his opposite hand. Riddle watches him finally take a large bite of his tart, thumb absentmindedly stroking along the back of Floyd's thumb.

"You know what else she wouldn't do?"

"Mm?"

"She wouldn't be considering having a discussion with Floyd Leech when we get home about if he would like to have kids together." Riddle's nerves get the best of him, as he speaks it, so he hears rather than sees the fork clatter to the table and him start coughing as he inhales the mouthful of food.

"Floyd!?" Riddle panics, reaching for the other. As if sensing the rising panic, Floyd squeezes their linked fingers and manages to clear his throat.

"For real?" Floyd manages, voice rough and croaky but not matching the way his eyes look at him so adoringly. Riddle sighs, smiling fondly at Floyd and shaking his head.

"Yes, for real. I wouldn't tease you like that."

Floyd barely manages to push his tart out of the way of his body as he leans across the table with ease and loops his arms around Riddle with an emotive, disbelieving cry of 'goldfishie!'

Flustered at the public affection, Riddle pats his arm gently.

"Floyd, eat your tart before I eat it for you."

"You can have the tart, I've got all I need right here~."

"Disgusting." Riddle rolls his eyes, but that doesn't stop him from reaching over and stealing the tart.

It takes some discussion, but they do decide that they're ready. They're not married, but close enough given how long they've been together. (Besides, marriage isn't really all that common for people from the Coral Sea and Riddle has never really had much need for there to be a wedding to know that there is a commitment.) They're both financially stable and are in stable living conditions. They are in the best place mentally that they've ever been in their lives... if there was a time, they felt like the best time would be now.

As for the child... They actually have some pretty similar ideas of what they'd be looking for. They both agree that they would like to adopt a child that's a little older (think between 4-12ish) and if possible they would like to have a girl. Floyd wants a girl because he likes girls fashion and he wants to help her find her own sense of fashion and... Riddle because teenage boys are insufferable. He should know. He went to a school literally just for teenage boys.

It takes some talking, but they decide it's for the best to adopt a human. Despite their outward appearances, they are an interspecies couple, and Floyd knowing the difficulties with coming on land as a teen he explains that he just simply can't expect that of a child. The first time shifting from a merperson to a human is deeply uncomfortable and can sometimes even be painful depending on how big of an anatomy change you have to go through. (He distinctly remembers Azul's transformation being worse than his own.) It might get a bit easier after you have time to adjust for that, but he knows it would be terrifying and traumatic for someone anyone that young. Besides, they already live on land, so it works out to be easier than moving to the sea. (Riddle would be willing, but Floyd doesn't want to do that to him either. Besides, he likes shoes, damn it, he's not giving it up to go back to the sea.)

The caveat is, of course, that Floyd's own parents would have to transform to see their grandchild, but somehow Floyd imagines that they would be more than willing. (They already love Riddle even if they accidentally scare the shit out of him sometimes, so Floyd can only imagine how much they will want to spoil their child. And that isn't counting Jade or Azul or any of their other friends.)

The adoption process is slow, but not as slow as it could be because they are considered common law married by the Queendom of Roses.

Once they do eventually get through the adoption process and get their child home, Floyd and Riddle definitely have some things that they have to teach themselves pretty fast that don't come intuitively. Things like how to deal with a child's irrational fears, how to deal with tantrums, how to talk to them about hard questions, that sort of things.

Floyd is really good at the emotional side of things-- he's had years of dealing with his own fluctuating mood so he's good at teaching his kid ways to help talk themselves down when they're getting angry and how to talk themselves up when they're feeling low. He surprises Riddle with how unconditionally supportive he is (though Riddle supposes he's always been the same for him, so he shouldn't be too surprised). He's excellent at finding the right things to say when he needs to say them.

Riddle is great at the academic side of things. With him, it's not anything like his mother was-- his teaching is based on education and helping her to find what works for her. If she has a hard time learning something, he's great at finding a different method to teach her that clicks for her. He's also really good at teaching her how to be responsible and how to think critically and for herself. He never got that as a child, and he never wants her to enter a situation that she can't think through herself. God forbid she should ever feel that kind of pressure, but he thinks about his own overblot and feels like it's necessary for her to know how to step back and and look at a situation logically. He trusts Floyd to teach her how to handle the emotional part of it.

She loves them both, but she's definitely Floyd's little princess. Floyd adores her and spoils her rotten. Riddle has no objections because it's really sweet to watch how well he handles her and matches her energy.

She also loves uncle Jade and Azul. However, uncle Azul is never allowed to babysit because the last time he did, she tried to scam her schoolmates out of money.

Uncle Trey is fun too, and brings her a bunch of sugar and then bails. Riddle threatens to never let him over again, but Floyd had a lot of fun with it and ends up convincing Riddle to stop threatening to cut Trey out of his life over a goofy prank.

Probably the most difficult conversation that they have ever had to have with her was to explain why Grandma and Grandpa Leech visit but why grandma Rosehearts doesn't. Riddle and Floyd tackle that one together, Riddle explaining how his childhood was and Floyd stepping in to take over when he noticed Riddle was getting emotional. Of course there were questions about why and what kinds of things she did, and of course they didn't give her the nitty gritty, but it was enough for her to grasp it. She and Floyd wanted to snuggle Riddle that evening, so it ended up in Floyd and her falling asleep halfway through a movie, one on either side of Riddle.