#i dun rly know but
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#i dun rly know but#some part of me is like: oh. im not hot.#my friends are all way hotter and prettier than me and i look like a fucking creature around them#and idk... i think its so natural for people to be in love with my friends#but i cannot believe someone would ever really like me. not for my looks. not for my personality.#i think. i never really was complimented. and when i was/am (by my parents) its always for an ulterior motive#its always 'ure so pretty. if only u just got thinner/put on makeup/dressed up nicer/stop being so loud'#like.... yay. glad to know no one really just likes me i guess#its always 'i like nycto but........“#theres always a fucking but in thesentence and i think that destroys me a bit inside#its also the fact that i do in fact know i have all these flaws/deficiencies/caveats#and its also just... i have a newly discovered fear of 'what if people talk to me because theyre just interested in my friend?'#which is somewhat irrational. but... gosh. my friends are just so much better hotter and cooler than me#i will just never be good enough. everyone else will always just be.... better than me#i wish i were hot. i know im aroace but fuck#i wish i didnt feel like an ugly awkward meatsack when my friends talk about their pretty privilege or when they get fawned over#because my friends ARE cool and wonderful. i rly do like them. but its with that sense of an ugly fish looking up at the most dazzling bird
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i'm listening to the audiobook for good omens rn and i've always been under the impression that ppl who read the book first were happy with season 1 because from what i heard, the adaption was super close to the book. but now i'm looking through the book omens tag (only found out this existed today and i enjoyed looking at the fanart) and it seems like it's not as universally liked as i thought? for season 2 and even the ending of the season 1 i get why fans of the book may not enjoy it. but from what i've seen, the show characters' personalities were just slightly different enough that some people didn't like them at all.
#i'm definitely extremely biased towards the show bcoz i watched that first#i refuse to actually read the book because of my ocd so i'm listening to the audiobook that has david and michael in it#so duh my image of them in my brain is still the show versions#and i feel conflicted bcoz my reading experience is tainted in a way that i can't tell apart the tonal differences between the two versions#but i rly rly like the actors' performances so i'm just stuck not knowing if i should switch to a different version of the audiobook#just a rant i dun expect ppl to respond to this#good omens#shitpost#edit: oh yea forgot to mention some of the book fans seem rly mean towards show fans and i'm like bruh let's just enjoy what we enjoy
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......I can't remember which things have still been an issue lately n which ones he's already dropped.
#doll#has he still been doin the thing where he tries to push my boundaries little bit at a time even though he says he's fine w/ em#cause tumblr tells me the last time i remember it happening was a lot longer ago than i thought#i guess maybe he hasn't n i just don't trust him to not start again when things calm down around here#or maybe i'm just still hung up on that one cause he just wouldn't let it go like usually#n cause he actually tried to talk me into smth he KNOWS i'm not ok w/ instead of just. sayin some stuff i don't rly like#yea ok i guess i am still pretty hung up on it#i mean i know it was cause i asked him (n he agreed) to delete the stuff from his phone. needed to feel like he's still in control or smth#can't you get the control back w/ somethin that doesn't make me feel like you rly just want your empty headed sex doll back#...head's still pretty empty. just not in the opinions n feelings department ig#almost all our problems would be solved if we just never had sex again. or talked about it. sigh.#unfortunately.......i'm needy#n i guess that'd just be avoiding the actual problem of him forgettin most of what he's promised the moment he's um. distracted#need to put my big boy pants on n have an actual talk abt things again but......i dun wanna. too tired.#i guess i could just....see how things go. cause i can't remember what i was supposed to talk about anyway#spdrvent
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This is completely off the wall, and idk TOO much abt horse genetics or even history, but from what I DO know, chestnut is a super common, considered p basic color but it's essentially recessive to... anything else? Literally any other coat base and/or modifier? Is that right? And based on cave paintings and Przewalski's, it doesn't seem like the original, primitive, wild horse breeds would've been chestnut. They had more bay or dun coloration, primitive markings, etc. So do u think part of the reason chestnut is so common is bc, at some point in human history, it WASN'T considered this basic plain jane color, it was actually like "OOOOH, this horse is RED!! It's JUST RED!!" and people tried to breed for that and it became more common bc it WAS considered special at some point? And then ofc some horses were used to establish breeds where types and colors were restricted and bam, proliferation, but my point is, it feels like chestnuts get overlooked a lot as rly plain, but do u think at one point they were considered special and sought after? idk im emotional i saw that post abt how pigeons were once loved and cared for and now they're treated like rats with wings and idk why i started thinking abt chestnut horses but do u ever think something similar happened??? im drunk and sorry
you sound like me when i'm manic i can't give an honest answer cause i am not a genetics nerd and haven't looked into the history but i mean they could have been like "hell yeah dude it's red, lets name it ruby.. and that one too" thus creating the never ending cycle of red mares named ruby
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Ezekiel and Justin + S/O, who's good at reading body language = ??
☣︎ Sorry for the late answer, Ezekiel, Justin and reading body language isn't my strong side 💀 I dun rly know how to write Justin so hopefully I wrote what you wanted-
[𝚂/𝙾 𝚆𝙷𝙾'𝚂 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙰𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴]
Summary: Confessions.
☢︎ | Total Drama | ~1,7k words | gender-neutral reader ♡ | Ezekiel | Justin ⚠ | OOC??
[𝙴𝚣𝚎𝚔𝚒𝚎𝚕]
Even though Ezekiel wasn't the perfect boyfriend material, it didn't mean he couldn't get a crush on someone.
That someone was you.
He was still somewhat out of touch with the world around him, but he seemed to be even more- "off" with you.
He could be seen around you more often than not, in hopes that he wouldn't fuck up as usual.
Most of the time he didn't even know what went wrong, since this was how he was raised and at his house no one had a problem with such things?
I also headcanon him as autistic
So he just kinda hoped whatever he did around you didn't come off as insensitive or wrong to say.
"Hey- Y/N." He looked at you as he approached, making a hand gesture that would catch your attention. "You need any help, maybe?" He asked hesitantly but keeping it cool, as if he was scared of once again being yelled at for being inappropriate. So he elaborated. "I mean- Not that I think you're weak- Just- You know- I wanna be helpful." He shrugged, looking somewhere else before returning to your gaze briefly. You had some sympathy for the boy, knowing he's just really out of touch. You didn't sense any maliciousness coming his way, so you were usually pretty kind to him "I know, don't worry. You're fine." You said calmly. "Sure, I could use some help."
You noticed that Ezekiel was also bit more chatty with you than with others.
And, well, he watched his mouth a lot more too.
He usually had a pre-planned response to start off with talking to you.
He still tried to learn to not be as insensitive around other people, but it was really visible to you that he tried to be extra careful with you around.
That made you think a little- Why?
So one day you decided to get some answers.
Usually it was Ezekiel approaching you first, but this time you decided to turn it around. "Hey, Zeke?" You calmly and friendly tried to get his attention. "Huh?" He got thrown off of his thoughts as he heard his name being called. "Oh. Y/N- Hey. What is it?" He turned his focus on you, a bit curious. "I have a question for you, if you don't mind." You tried to be as casual as you could, not wanting to scare him off. You just wanted to have a friendly chat and perhaps confirm your thoughts about him. "Uhh... Okay. Just not anything hard, alright?" He looked at you now more curious but also slightly worried of what the question would be. You giggled slightly at his choice of words, which made him tilt his head a bit. "Well- It's not a math equation. I was just curious-" You start off gently. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've noticed you're a bit more careful around me than others." You don't sugarcoat, but you try to not sound as if you're mad or accusing him of something. "Uh..." He stopped for a second, thinking what to respond. You weren't supposed to give him a hard question! "...Is that wrong?" He tilted his head even more, a bit confused why would you ask about that. Did he do something wrong again? "Oh, no, no-" You quickly reassure him. "No, I actually kinda appreciate that-" "But I also didn't want you to- you know, stress out around me." You elaborate. He blinks once as he processes what you said. "...I mean- It's not that I'm afraid of you, ya kno-" He explains himself a little, although you can see a bit of anxiousness seeping in from his behavior. "But sometimes it seems that whatever I do is somehow wrong, so I don't want you to be mad at me or somethin'." He kicks dirt on the ground a little to release some stress as he keeps his hands in his pocket, still not showing that he's bothered, except avoiding eye contact. "I won't be mad at you for something that you say without bad intentions. I mean, hey, everyone makes mistakes, right?" You try to lighten up the situation and make some wiggle room for him so he doesn't feel as if he's being interviewed. "I guess so-" He looks at you briefly, now visibly less worried. His body language wasn't really telling, but your deduction skills told you that you were in the clear, without making him too uncomfortable. However, you decided to ask a bit more risky question after that. "So... Is there a reason why you feel the need to be more careful around me?" You tried to gently probe an answer from him. He stopped for a second, as if caught doing something bad. "Uhm..." He started getting a bit more uncomfy, now visibly looking away from you. You awaited calmly for his answer, trying to be as non threatening and open as possible. If you were to tell the truth, you kinda suspected Zeke might have caught a small crush on you. Of course you weren't 100% sure, and you really hoped that you read his subtle signs right. Otherwise this situation would turn awkward really quick. "Well- You're just the nicest to me, ya kno? ... I really don't want you to hate me." He spoke with a bit hesitant but honest tone as his gaze fell on the ground instead of your eyes. You smiled softly and sympathetically, seeing how much he valued your opinion about him. "You don't have to worry about that- I like you, you know." You said with conviction. He paused for a moment before nodding. His eyes that were covered by the brown hair looked at you for a moment, holding the short eye contact. "... How much?" He dared to ask. He just stood there, as if asking a normal question, but still awaiting some sort of possible bad reaction. He got you a bit dumbfounded, but since he answered all of your questions so nicely, you decided to return the favor. "Uh... I guess a decent amount-" You shrugged, showing a bit of coy smile.
"Like, just a friend, right??" He continued asking, piercing you with his gaze that needed answers. His tone didn't indicate any need or hope for your connection to be deeper, but his look was obvious. You stopped for a moment, before finally having to answer the hard question. "As a friend, for sure!" You started off. "But- if you wanna- dunno, get to know each other closer one day- I don't see an issue with this either." You finally said the words that could possibly take a big to your pride with rejection. He paused. Tilted his head. And then spoke. "Wait- You mean like- You wanna get to know me closer?" He asked, still not believing your original statement. "To be fair I never had a best friend..." He obviously assumed you meant it as that. He put on a thoughtful expression, thinking about it, which made you wanna expand on your words. "No, I mean- As partners. Dating." You elaborated, awaiting his reaction. His expression remained calm as he was processing what was said to him, until it finally clicked and his eyes went wide. "Oh." He only managed to say. "Okay- Wow, huh." His surprise was very much visible. "Yeah, that would be- That would be cool." His words were slightly flat per usual, but you could see both the shock and relief emitting from him.
Be patient with this boy, he still has some figuring out and learning to do.
If you're really determined to date him, be prepared to be the one to lead the hard situations (like the mentioned confession) by yourself, at least at first.
[𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗]
When Justin started to hang around you more, you knew something was up.
He's good at (and known for) using his good looks to get what he wants, whether it'd be simple adoration or help with the challenge.
It started with with him just trying to make a small talk.
You didn't mind, as long as he wasn't trying to use you so he could stay lazy.
"You know, you're not half-bad. I mean, nothing compares to my beauty of course, but..." He gave you a backhanded compliment. "Wow, that's big coming from you." You said half-sarcastically, but in a lighthearted way. "Oh, yeah, I know." He smirked handsomely while fixing his hair with one hand.
Unlike what you expected, he didn't really try to woo and use you.
He might have merely suggested it one time, but if you didn't budge then he stopped doing that.
Well, trying to use you that is, he was still kind of trying to woo you.
You noticed Justin was behaving a bit differently around you than with others contestants.
He was casually giving you "compliments", which was weird, because usually he was focused only on himself.
He thought he was clever by "slowly pulling you in" to like him, like other contestants.
He wouldn't have to disclose his attraction to you then, and instead you'd do it first.
But you didn't bite the bait.
You had a suspicion that he wanted you to do just that.
And you were curious if he was determined enough for your attention to come to you himself.
So finally, after some time, he got frustrated with his last failed attempt.
"Y/N-" He whined dramatically, with a given up tone. You turned his head towards the pathetic sound. "Are you really not affected by my beauty? Is this face not worth your attention?" He looked at you, combing his hair in a truly despaired manner. "... What do you mean?" You raised your brow in half amusement, already knowing what he refers, but you tried to remain neutral. "All this time I've been trying to get you to confess your true feelings for me, and you're still so stubborn..." You couldn't help but chuckle at his visible attempts to... confess to you? gaslight you so you'd do it?? "Well- Have you tried doing it first?" You turned the question on him. That shut him up for a second, after which he quickly regained himself into more graceful posture from his grand acting. You heard him sigh. "Well- If I have to." He cleared his throat and started. "Y/N, if you'd confess your attraction to me, I'd accept." You rolled your eyes at his attempt to keep his pride, but you gave him some brownie points for at least somewhat owning up to it. You copied his acting with clearing your throat and responded. "Well, Justin, if you'd do that, I'd be up for it."
He'd appreciate your keen senses of figuring people out on the competition btw.
#total drama#total drama x reader#x reader#headcanon#imagine#gn reader#gender neutral reader#ezekiel#td ezekiel#total drama island#ezekiel x reader#total drama ezekiel x reader#td ezekiel x reader#ask#request#justin x reader#td justin x reader#justin#td justin#headcanons
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super random specific thing for me to ramble abt on tumblr lmao but. just woke up a lil bit ago, chillin in the living room, waiting for my "morning" medications dose (i woke up at noon today but. yknow. First Meds Of The Day Regardless, lol) to kick in so i can go brush my teeth and change into clean clothes and i usually keep something on tv as like 'background noise/visuals' whenever i'm waiting for meds to kick in, or just kind of in general when im in the living room by myself and not doing any kind of specific task, and usually i put it on like disney channel/disney xd/nick/cartoon network etc etc U Guys Know Me U Get The Idea, I Enjoy Cartoons And Such.
one of my moms must have been watching tv before i woke up today though cus it was on the Science Channel (not Syfy but the one thats abbreviated like 'SCI' in the corner) and when i first turned the tv on it was playing a show about unanswered theories/questions as to how things in the universe work, which is a topic that is one of my absolute fav special interests, so i was like. ooooh ok no cartoons for me today i will be listening to this tv show relay information that i have mostly already heard before bcus I Like That Kinda Stuff (previous episode was abt black holes as a topic which i personally think is almost always fun to hear abt since so many ppl have so many different theories regarding what a hypothetical 'journey' through/into a black hole might include and also all the people talking abt it were specifically including the fact that they were theories and we do not as a whole have a definite scientific answer yet to a lot of specific information abt what happens to an astronomical object of any kind deep into a black hole which i respect, i hate when ppl on these kinda shows voice theories and then are like 'and you just simply cant deny it! thats the only logical conclusion!' NO!!! THATS NOT SCIENCE. anyways. LMFAO)
REGARDLESS THAT IS NOT THE POINT, the point. is that its been a while since i've watched a 'space science' show like this one and i forgot. that while they do share rly cool info that i love hearing about. they are. SO. ANNOYING. ABOUT. THE MUSIC USED IN THE BACKGROUND SCORE OF LITERALLY EVERY SCENE SHOWING DEMONSTRATIONS OF WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABT.
its ALWAYS gotta have some ridiculous intense wannabe Armageddon 1998 type of action/thriller/suspense film score shit and it is SO distracting to me. i just want to hear the nice Scientist people talk about their ideas of what an abstract view of the inside of a black hole might look like. and the music in the back EVERY TIME is like.
DUN DUN DUN DUN.....bdududududu DUN! DUN!! DUN!!! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN!!!!!! .....BWWWAAAAMMMM
LIKE SHUT UPPPPP LMFAOOOOO its so annoying!!!! if i wanted to watch a space themed action movie i would watch a fuckin space themed action movie i just want to hear people talk about space!!!!!!
also this last thing is just a personal preference of mine that i'm sure would probably unintentionally bother people different from me in the same way that the action movie score thing bothers me, but i personally think that so much of the stuff that is covered and talked about on shows like these is so much more deserving of a musical score that evokes feelings of like. discovery, imagination, curiosity, astonishment, acceptance. instead of what usually seems to be trying to evoke like. fear, suspense, existential dread, confusion, anxiety. why do we make shows highlighting scientists talking about what we yearn to know regarding the universe we're all contained in if not to inspire the hypothetical audience watching that show? why would we want to score visual demonstrations of those topics in a way that creates fear and anxiety instead of more positive emotions that could be way more affirming to the individual curiosities of the audience?
this is becoming an Actual Special Interest Full-On Ramble Post so i'll make this my last paragraph i promise LMAOO that was not my intention making this post. but like. in my personal case, when i was a kid i was TERRIFIED of space. like, all of the stuff they talk about in these 'unanswered questions of the universe' shows was legitimately a huge source of severe anxiety and terror to me for pretty much my whole childhood, and it was in large part because every time i saw media with that as a core subject, even passively in the background of a room or something, it was presented as Inherently Scary. scary music, everything exploding in crappy lil 3D demonstrations (which like they still do but at least some of the vfx has improved over the yrs lol), clips of people in lab coats saying stuff like "and that's why if anything over THIS big EVER hit our planet we would ALL BE DEAD WITHIN HOURS WITH NO CHANCE OF SURVIVAL". like?!?!?!? of course i was terrified of that shit lmao!!! there were so few outlets for me, in my US american small town childhood experience at least, to actually be curious about Space and The Universe and How All This Stuff Might Work and The History Of It All, and the easiest to consume pop culture versions of that were all played up to be as unnecessarily edgy and spooky as possible. and its a shame when i think back on how many more years i could have spent in my early life being fascinated by space like i am now and have been since my mid/late teens, because that curious special interest potential was always there in me, but it was constantly answered by the world around me as something to fear instead of something to marvel at. i am autistic and i've always experienced different types of synesthesia, which for me is usually very 'visual mental image/colors/shapes' in nature, so like. music scores in any given program matter to me and it absolutely shapes my potential enjoyment of that piece of media. thankfully as an adult i can appreciate artistic choices more that i may not personally enjoy but that do make sense to me from a narrative/storytelling perspective, but as a child who struggled to understand what i was learning about space and the history of the earth as an astronomical body and the universe in general i very much did not have that insight or appreciation. it just created a strong mental association between "space/universe type of science" and "inherently scary, terrifying, chaotic, avoid at all costs" in my head. that sucks shit dude. the universe is incredible and space is amazing and all of it deserves to be presented to curious watchers in a way that makes them feel happy and excited to learn more information beyond the episode, not shut more information out of their life due to fear.
idk. its not that serious i know i just wish more media based on presentation scientific information to people could be more conscious of How it's presenting that info cus putting a ridiculous over the top action score in the background of every digital recreation shot of space is like. Not A Great Way To Present It. especially when the real human people talking about the topic in the show are NOT bringing that kind of energy to the interview at all and just seem to enjoy sharing this scientific info that they study and want more people to be interested in learning abt and studying like to me it feels kind of dismissive of the stuff they're literally saying too. u guys need more ambient synth musicians on ur fuckin score teams dude dial down the Inception bwaaaams 😭
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Do you plan to reopen UK shipping soon? Sorry for asking I just really want to buy from you again
Omg THATS SO SWEET HUN 😭😭
Unfortunately i am RLY dumb and can’t figure out the life of me on how to make it happen other than moving over to Etsy shop where they handle all that for you!
im just scared in the case that either I or my customer might accidentally need to pay an extra hefty custom fee of some sort and I WOULD CRY IF ANYONE HAS TO DO THAT SO;;;; it has happened before and thankfully the person who bought from me didnt mind and expected the fee but I FELT SO BAD??? apologies for that issue;;; you might have to do a roundabout way where a friend you know can ship it over to you as a personal package but i doubt that’s worth the trouble….
Hopefully after month of July, I’ll try to open over at Etsy just for UK buyers!😭❤️ i dun get much buyers so that’s why there’s never a strong consideration to do so! Thank you so much for the support!! 🙏🙏🙏
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maybe it was bad marketing? her va is still active on twitter. tho when gaku v4 was updated no one rly paid attention/thought it was a joke because he updated on april fool's and they didn't bother giving him new outfits , dun really care about Rosa, her designs alright but i don't know how much is being focused on that, tho apparently she's supposed to have other 'sisters'/versions of herself that's basically just recolors?
all this rosa and recolours stuff is so silly to me why do vbs need intricate lore these days lmao
#''these loids are orphaned twins and are 999 years old and have powers'' they are. files. on the computer.#i dunno it's just that u know#she was one of the unique ones among the horde of gumi clones in the v3 era and beside a couple of songs no one really gives a shit </3#ask
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Hi Jemma~Hope you are doing well. If free reading is still possible, I'd like to get one 👀💜 My initials are SYN and ♎☀️♐🌙 I've recently caught some feelings for a Virgo guy w Cancer🌙.
so I wanna know how does he really feel about me? (Both platonic and Romantic context?) His next action and future of our dynamics. I'm not looking for serious RS atm and Ik he's not the one but I wanna date him :") I also would like to know what the universe is trying to teach me with this person.
I'm normally a studious person and hv big dreams. I cant rly focus on my studies these days bcz of him and I dun like it. I guess the spirit has seen my struggle and brought me to you 🥺💛
Have a great day~ sunshine!
Hi There! i’m really sorry that this reading is quite late but i hope you understand! i’ll answer this questions and your next one afterwards. also i loveeeeeeee cats so that photo just made my day!!
So the cards i’ve pulled for how he feels about you are The Tower, The Two of Pentacles in Reverse and The King of Swords in Reverse.
These cards unfortunately aren’t cards that show happy or romantic feelings, they don’t even really seem to show kind platonic feelings. In fact, this person has an energy about them that has quite a negative impact.
This person seems to be a pessimist, a negative energy, a manipulative and cunning person. The energy I would describe this as would be incel energy, where this person thinks that they are better than everyone else, always going on about how terrible the world is and can’t handle their own life situations. They seem really dark.
If this person has any feelings towards you it’s that of wanting to control or manipulate you.
I’m sorry, i know this probably isn’t the answer you wanted.my advice would be not to pursue this person.
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My fri and I asked trusted local tarot readers abt ZB1 and Jiwoong ig and their reading is pretty diff from yours but I dun think there is right or wrong ans because I feel tarot only catch a glimpse of situation and u might hav read this aspect of situation and other might hav read that aspect.
But interestingly, there is sth in common. Both of you talked abt Matthew helping Jiwoong working out on *sth. You said *impulsive decisions and they said *overthinking. But as someone who knows him from the start, he is an overthinker. And they also said other members also think Jiwoong deals with those kind of thoughts to the point that he became too quiet. They also said Jiwoong loves and admires Hanbin so much because they used to protect each other in the past. All of members opinions are good ig.
Oh and they said Yujin rly loves and admires Jiwoong but I rmb u talking abt Yujin being shy to do sth specific and they also mentioned that. They said Yujin will take first step.
of course there’s no right answer! tarot is really subjective, so if i can see one thing and someone else another, it’s totally fine, you know?
as i said before, at that time i felt the impulsiveness from jiwoong’s side probably because of overthinking as i saw what’s his moon days after i’ve done my reading about it, so the reason about jiwoong’s.. i’d say thing can be about the impulsive desicion jiwoong does because of overthinking, you know? i personally am with moon that has gemini degree and my father is with gemini moon, so i understand him in some way. that might be why i am still sticking with the impulsive actions too but i added his overthinking? so it’s interesting that there are some things in common from your local tarot readers and me, lol
about yujin, i felt the admireness to but the shy side of the maknae stood out to me more, so i hope they’ll be closer and yujin breaks his shell in some way^^
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me n my ex broke up yesterday
now that i am single i dun rly know wuts next
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Rly need to be havin some actual adult conversations about stuff but I'm. So sleepy.
#doll#ok it's rly just me tryin to get mr. v to delete the photos from his phone#n i guess i kinda get why it's such a big deal to him cause he doesn't wanna let go of the person he used to be n the life he had but#some kinda symbolical meaning there or something#but hhhhhhhhhhhh him tryin to barter n talk me into takin new ones as a replacement like he's not fully aware i dun like cameras#just bc the circumstances would be somewhat better doesn't mean i'm ok with it#he knows i have a hard time sayin no to him n if he talks about it enough i'll just end up agreeing#but i can't figure out if he really doesn't get it or if that's exactly what he's goin for#i could manipulate him right back n turn on the waterworks but. there's probably backups n i don't trust him to get rid of em#unless it's actually his decision n not just cause he wanted me to stop crying#n i rly don't wanna do that. i don't want a relationship where we have to play that kinda games.#& now i'm kinda paranoid abt him havin had a hidden camera on at some point#cause he's a lot more attached to his.....keepsakes than i thought he'd be at this point#i guess him still havin the feather he plucked off me months ago shoulda been the first clue...#i don't get why he wants to have the pics that bad when neither one of us was happy back then?? why do you wanna be reminded of that???#i'm too exhausted for this#spdrvent
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I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BT @isomorbism !!!! THANK U!!
r U named after anyone: yeth but I have a couple of names and middle names and such all from family members. yiayia ily ��
when was the last time u cried: today actually I had a rlly important convo w ma we sort of had a breakthrough it was good and we don't rly ever talk to eachother like that,,, anyway. nobody asked I cry probably the normal amount honestly maybe once a month or so. usually out of frustration
do u have kids no
do u use sarcasm no. yes. nooooo. shut up
the first thing I notice abt people is whatever facet of them I experience first??? so it differs. idk what else this q means sorry
what's ur eye colour? nondescript non-brown colour. I get super squinty in the sun 👎👎
scary movies or happy endings: errrr where would one b without the other. scary ig.
any special skills? my response to this is always that I'm reaaaaally good at balancing one leg tiptoe like I can just stand there. go me
where were u born? same country I live now. I've only left once
what r ur hobbies ballet, local history, supermarket research, egg peeling, bushwalking, art. blogging and listening 2 tunes also 🤫
do u have any pets does my little(st) brother count. no.
do u/ have u played any sports YES and I'll give U a list rn. I've danced ballet since I was abt 8 and I rlly enjoy it but I have never aimed to get anywhere near professional. its a hobby I do well at the level I'm at. I played tennis all of hs and I was pretty good i was on a few rep teams and played outside school as well I miss it sooooooooo much. soccer and netball I was in teams with my friends sometimes and I sucked ASS but they were fun. in my last years of hs I did track and I'm going to take this opportunity to tell the mutuals that I can run really really fast I'd just like to share that me fact like b4 I ever started training I was the 6th fastest at the 100m in my whole school of over 1200 students including all of the track team kids (I didn't even have spikes 😩) when I was 15 ok just know that abt me and I'll never mention it again it is genuinely one of the things I'm most proud of ok whatever I've wasted my one proper talent bye
how tall r U average height FUCK!!! off
fav school subject prooobs history or art.
dream job dun have one comedian shut up shut up shut up shut up
congrats if U real to the end of this LONG ASS horse-music info post ily forever let's move in 2gether @dacergirl369 @groundbreakingdot872 @acasternaut @ivorysongbird
NO PRESH 2 DO THIS KIND OF TOOK AGES
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ik ive said this before elsewhere but this is the COOLEST music video i have seen in a LONG time. the cinematography is incredible, the set design is incredible, the use of color is incredible, the weird symbolism n random drag shit is incredible.
what fucking happened 2 color in music videos? so many modern music videos seem super sterile, clinical white in a way that isn't symbolic or representative of smth, jus washed out color n no character. i get i sound like a boomer here but i feel like everything, including music n cinema as an artform, is so incredibly corporatized nowadays. obviously there are outliers but they're just that, outliers.
as much as i love twenty one pilots' new album i've actually been avoiding watching most of the music videos 4 it b/c from what i've seen it generally falls into that same category. the mv's 4 overcompensate n next semester were rly cool, as was the one josh dun directed 4 backslide, but the ones 4 the rest of the album dont rly call 2 me the way a lot of 21p mv's used to.
iDKHOW tho NEVER seems 2 fail, ive loved every music video ive seen of theirs, but this 1 when it 1st came out genuinely took me by surprise b/c despite knowing how much i love the art direction in their mv's i did NOT expect something as mindblowingly cool as this. i still come back 2 it every so often b/c its THAT fucking good.
#Youtube#also the fact that this dude is 43 yrs old is fucking insane#im not saying thats old but#he definitely doesnt fucking look it#i sometimes get anxious abt the fear of “twink death” but this guy proves that that isnt always what happens w age#if i could look this fucking beautiful as a forty-something man i would lose my mind
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f@tt Sangfielle ep. 37 probably-first-time-listening post
(aka my own personal greatest hits)
oh !!!! the intro ????? i love how it's coming together and for the first time you're like "...oh !! something Bad happened and these stories explain why the Blackwick Group wasn't there for it/to stop it right from the beginning; there's CONTEXT"
"My point is, don't cut the heroes more slack. It's, don't have heroes." oooohhhhhhhhhh...
"I only check emails never." SAME
their lil in-jokes like "*weeee* know" :))
"You can sit in your room all day, and ruin your day." I can do that too, Es isn't special
"I don't know what a Continental Breakfast is" "That's because you live in England, and the continent is on the other side there"
Art's Seinfeld/Hannibal crossover fanfic
"off boat, be back soon" uh-huh, uh-huh
something about how this part of the Blackwick Group has to like. just assume their colleagues might be dead. in particular, having rescued Chine - multiple times, recently - and them being gone again now. shaking and crying but I'm fine
Pickman being the only one who's even rly concerned, the way they bring up it must be different for her than, say, Es, because she grew up surrounded by the same people trapped on a train <--> Pickman Actively correcting herself after calling Lyke her friend
"I wanna say it's called Dunning-Kruger effect?" "Kanye West disease." keysmash
"Actually I spent all day on this and this sucks actually" ME
"Can I take a bug peek?" "Sure! Now we're talking!"
It's a shame everybody's always just talking about Duvall's bees, he just mentioned sending a lightning bug, he's got it all! Bees ants moths butterflies spiders lightning bugs beetles. etc !! all of them <3
"Well I'm glad I didn't go out there with my whole self."
ants that used to be bread
Pickman getting more and more wrapped up in the whole Zevunzolia thing.....
"You're from here, right?" "Very much so." "Are you sure?" "I mean.. are *you* sure?" "Absolutely not." "Then me either." aaaaahhhhhhh
Pickman's immediate and definitive "Absolutely not" ???!??!?!!!!?????!!?!?
"This is someone who'd happily be a closer ally to you than you even want to."
Es living her absolutely best life is SO good, she deserves it
"Can't wait for this ship to get scuttled"
Jack's lil back stories for the quartet :))))
the apple caviar lollipop making a return
"The way that you make a bad decision without being aware you're making a bad decision." "The way you do that." "Yeah. Fuck." yeah. fuck. #same
"Minor fallout." "The best fallout."
A bark/stick lizard Following Marn is so good
Janine thinking the flickr stick that looks like a lizard is a real lizard is SO good
"Oh my God, I Have to win this! I have to have a sports anime here!"
Duvall False War Tournament Return ‼️
"Clearing the air? I don't think Pickman knows what this means."
Thank you for making that Duvall Pickman conversation happen
They're all so funny and I love them
Duvall telling Pickman about Aterika'kaal in ways that he decided in his head are correct, ough
"Are you... extremely naive?" "Nno, I think I'm a regular amount..."
Duvall for a hypothetical scenario calling himself a vampire QUEEN just Pinged my brain like ‼️
"I think Virtue Will remember who her friends are." Oh honey.
"I think you're as big a fool as Lyke is." "I think I'm a slightly smaller fool than Lyke is."
Duvall calling Lyke Dangerous again... goddddd. these people !!!
GOOD EPISODE
god what else is even gonna happen to this part of the team, it's such a long arc episode-wise
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✨❤️🧠 for the OC ask game!
oop i din mean to reblog that but sure haha i dun mind
i dun rly hv much OCs cos i havent written much n stuff in a while, but i do have one self-insert OC frm like 3-4 yrs ago
I got that name frm my previous username (which also has my initials) which had a "fireice" somewhere in it. i liked fire cos Kai frm Ninjago, and ice powers were cool (esp cos in Soul Knight they were rly good at dealing with enemies, yes this is a core memory for why i like ice powers, idk why either)
✨ - how come up wit ock name? :
his name is Frost (lol, the OC name came before my username. i got the username frm tumblr's username generator and saw one that fit the story i was writing for my OC at the time n thought "why not?"). his name was originally gonna be Ice but i thought it sounded to harsh lmao so I changed it. In most of my notes for him you'll see notes for an "Ice".
i mean he *is* a self-insert OC, and he *is* basically just a 13-14 y/o me but fire n ice powers that i gave a way to travel into the fandoms i was frequenting at the time... so i guess it would just be a good memory from when i was that age.
♥️ - ock best memory? :
ummmmmmm im not rly sure
maybe sitting on the second floor of the bus, on the way home aft band practice with my friend. are we chatting? are we sitting in silence? is he just sitting there playing his phone while i ask him about it? all of the above to some degree i think (i should write smt abt that to myself...)
i stopped writing that story cos i took too long n by the time i was starting to actually write it, i was a pretty different person from when i started it.
🧠 - fav thing abt ock? :
haha it's pretty obviously the powers lmao
i also gave him powers to open and close portals to travel the different fandoms, and then i realised "oops he's too powerful" :P
he had a little pocket dimension thing he could retreat into n store his stuff, so that was cool
fire and ice powers, need i say more? i swear i didnt base him off of Todoroki, even if my chara also prefers fire to left and ice to right. i got into bnha and got a huge shock hahahaha
at some point i wondered "what if i turned him into a Servant?" and then gave him Assassin Class cos i liked Shiki Assassin n i just wanted to prove that Assassins weren't the weakest class lmao
i came up with waaaayyy too much bullshit to try and justify everything ahahahaha
i did do some actual writing for him, but it rly wasn't that much. there are some scenes that wld be rly cool to remake and redo into some other context, but i don't know how im gonna pace the one im thinking of very nicely. we'll see, i think.
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