#the disabled second child or the family baby (at the time)

[knight-engale]

"you're not traumatized by being raised by parents who were way too young and were raised in shitty families themselves and who never taught you emotional intelligence and isolated you from pretty much all of your non churchgoing peers, you're just a little silly! and you cry whenever you notice any sort of shift in the way someone speaks to you and take it as a personal rejection, whether or not it was intentional, but that's unrelated"

[notjustjavierpena]

All Roads Lead To Someone

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Don’t blame me for suddenly getting into domestic Javier Peña after watching how sad he was about not having a family in S3E01. Enjoy fluff and smut!

Summary: You take a pregnancy test at four in the morning after not being able to sleep. Javier has never found you more sexy than right now, and he tells you to check on the kids and meet him in the bedroom after.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 Smut (MDNI!), established relationship, pregnancy, breeding kink, family life, unprotected sex, p in v sex, fingering, humping, creampie, dirty talk, fluff, domestic javier is sexy and charming, so much love, banter!!!

Word count: 3.7k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48019288

All Roads Lead To Someone

It was late, in fact in the middle of the night, when you found yourself staring down at a pink and white stick with a very positive result of two red lines. You picked it up from the bathroom sink to examine it further, just to be certain that it wasn’t your mind playing tricks on you. Nope, it was positive alright.

You leaned back a little to spy on Javier in your shared bed, but he didn’t seem to be awake, lying flat on his stomach and sprawled out on the bed like an octopus.

You closed the lid of the toilet and sat down, twirled the pregnancy test in your hands, forgetting briefly that it was stained with your pee as the result had your head spinning in different directions. It would be your third child, and so soon after your second, but the worries that popped into your mind were more practical than anything. And they didn’t contain any scenario where you weren’t supposed to have the baby. Would you be able to afford it? Would your house be big enough? Was three one too many when you were only two parents? 

“Hey,” Javier suddenly said at the door, leaning against the frame with his shoulder.

You jumped in surprise, nearly dropping the pee-stick onto the bathroom floor. When you realized who it was, you relaxed again, “Hey.”

“What are you doing up so late?” Javier was untying the string of his pajama pants, probably only having been woken up by his bladder. He yawned and scratched just above the hem of his bottoms.

You showed him the pregnancy test without hesitation, holding it out for him without a word. The two lines were there, no doubt about it. The cutesy surprise announcements were fun the first two times, but you weren’t actually actively trying for more kids, so the mood was different. Not bad, not off, just different, more practical than fun.

Javier took the test, looked at it for a few seconds before his brows nearly rose into his hair, “You’re pregnant?”

“You fell asleep before I did, and I lay awake until I pulled myself together to go piss on a stick in the middle of the night. You know I was late, I told you last week…,” you got up from the seat of the toilet to wash your hands with a generous amount of soap. You weren’t sure if your mind had wrapped around your reality yet. 

Javier quickly placed the test on the lid of the toilet before coming up behind you, looking at you through the mirror and being just about to wrap his strong arms around you. You cleared your throat.

“Pee fingers,” you noted. 

“Oh shit, right,” he laughed quietly under his breath, and you took a step to the side so that he could wash his hands with, unlike you, a normal amount of soap, “I feel like we’ve been careful…”

“Bullshit,” it was your turn to laugh now, “I don’t even think we have condoms in the house right now.”

“Doesn’t mean that we haven’t been careful,” he wiped his hands on the towel on the side of the sink, then turned around to face you, “I don’t… come inside.”

“The pullout-method? Really?” You rolled your eyes, but Javier just looked like someone who wanted to kiss you even more after that, “I bet you wanted to knock me up. Peña.”

“So I’m building a soccer team, and so what?” Javier finally got permission to kiss you slowly in the dim bathroom light. He rested his hands on your hips, grabbing a little at the skin there. You always reminded him that you had had two kids; that you weren’t all that anymore, but he tugged a little at the softness of you and hummed. It was his favorite thing, “Fuck, you are so hot.”

“It’s four in the morning,” you reminded him after a few more seconds of kissing him, cupping his face to look him in the eye as you tutted, “And you needed to piss, old man.” 

“Check on the kids and meet me in bed after?” He looked at you questioningly, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. You could never resist, and especially not now when he beamed at you afterwards.

“Throw the pee stick out too. I’ll meet you in bed in five,” you patted his cheek, then stepped away from him, but you were pulled right back into his arms. You squeaked and giggled as he kissed your neck and said your full name out loud. 

“What?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and shoulders as he held you in return, but he created some space between you, so he could look down and carefully place a hand on your stomach that still kept the secret between the two of you. 

“You’re giving me a baby, huh, momma?” Javier looked up from where he had placed his hand, a boyish look on his face. You didn’t think you could be more in love. 

“Only because you make such a fine baby daddy,” you noted with a grin, feeling something stir in the pits of your stomach and butterflies going off between your legs. 

“Go,” he stepped away from you, smacking your behind as you left the bathroom and earning a playful glare. 

You walked out into the dark hallway, surrounded by domesticity in the form of a house that had become a home. It still felt comforting in the middle of the night, and at this point you didn’t even need the lights on to look at the various photos hanging on the wall. You knew each one like the back of your hand, and didn't need to have them illuminated to shape out the smiling faces of your husband and kids. And if you forgot for some silly reason, all you had to do was close your eyes to see the images on your lids. This happiness was forever engrained. 

You tiptoed to the first door on the left, cracking it open to peek inside without waking up your son, Lucas. The 6-year-old was sleeping soundly in his bed with the covers draped around him like you had arranged them earlier. His calmness came from you but his looks resembled those of his father; big brown eyes and messy brown hair. Javier had once put his aviator glasses on him during a summer trip and you had gasped out loud at the resemblance, pregnant and hormonal, until you had teared up. It had felt embarrassing then but now, it was a story that you happily told friends and family about whenever they spoke about the children growing up so fast.

He’ll be just like his father. 

You hoped for something more tamable.

You made a mental note of tidying up in there before closing the door carefully so as to not disturb your sleeping child. The room was overflowing with dinosaurs in various pieces of clothing and race tracks, an occasional stray toy from Lucas’ sister’s toy collection disrupting the scene of a velociraptor riding a miniature Mercedes-Benz. 

How on Earth had time gone by so fast? Sweet nothings turning into love turning into marriage and two, soon three, kids. 

Continuing down the hall to the next room, you narrowed your eyes at the slight noise coming from Inés’ room. She wasn’t asleep that was for certain. 

You knocked once, giving your daughter the chance to scurry back into bed at the threat of being caught red handed by her mother, but when you finally stuck your head inside, she was still playing on the carpet. 

“Inés Peña,” you said without a hint of anger. You flicked the switch on the wall beside the door, “And why aren’t you in bed? It’s early in the morning, baby.”

The 3-year-old’s eyes snapped to yours. She looked exhausted from having ruined her own sleeping pattern, but it didn’t keep her from playing with the dinosaur figure that she had nicked from her older brother. Seemed like their thieving canceled each other out. 

“I just wanted to play,” she reasoned, knowing that she was in trouble with how she got up from the floor. 

“But you look so tired, baby,” you reasoned back, leaning down to pick her up. She automatically stretched out her arms as you scooped her up from the floor, pressing a kiss to her head. You got a better look at her as she sat on your arm, making you raise a brow and speak again, mostly to yourself, “Absolutely exhausted actually.”

Inés didn’t say much else, just rested her little exhausted head on your shoulder as you walked towards her bed. You instinctively felt her forehead but there was no indication of a fever, “There’s time to play tomorrow, sweetie.”

Inés shook her head, “I want to play now.”

So, this wasn’t a case of being stubborn or ill, you thought. This was about her missing out on what would happen if she went to sleep. God, her nature was like her father’s a little too much. 

“Big girls need their rest, so they can grow taller and stronger than their big brother,” you said as you placed her onto her tiny bed, pulling the covers up over her tiny frame. You ran a hand over her hair which was the same color as yours. 

Inés’ eyes were already fluttering closed. You watched her turn onto her side, back facing you with the purpose of getting you to cuddle her. You reached to run your hand up and down her back, using only a tiny bit of your nails to scratch. Her breathing soon slowed down whilst you drew hearts with your index finger. 

Suddenly, the lights turned off above the two of you. You looked back towards the door, finding Javier standing in the doorway and leaning against the frame with his shoulder. 

“Shhh,” you whispered, “She just fell asleep. I think she forces herself to stay up and play.”

“You surpassed the five minutes, so I went looking for you,” he whispered back at you, crossing the room to crouch down beside you. You looked at him questioningly. He adjusted Inés’ covers to keep his hands busy, “Don’t worry, momma. Mini-Me didn’t wake up when I went to see if you were in his room.”

You smiled at how well he knew you, then leaned in to kiss him lovingly, leaving him wanting more, before getting up. You watched your step as you walked towards the door, avoiding the raptor dressed in pink, holding out your hand for Javier to take.

As you closed the door behind the both of you, Javier wrapped his arms around you. He kissed you against the wall, moving you around a little so as to not knock one of the picture frames down the wall. 

“They’ll hear us,” you giggled into his mouth, hooking your hands together on the back of his neck and pulling him harder against your mouth until you needed to breathe again. You wanted him badly, but you didn’t want kids roaming around the house so early in the morning, “Please, take me to bed before we get carried away.”

“You’re just such a knockout, mi amor,” he whispered, hand already slipping into your pajama shorts. You grabbed his wrist and he tutted as you pulled it away from its acts of indecencies, “Fine. I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Let’s take this to bed whilst I’m still sane enough to do it in a proper place,” you dragged him along by his wrist, occasionally planting another kiss on his lips that you didn’t allow to escalate. 

“Oh,” Javier caught on as you entered the bedroom again. He locked the door to be safe, “Fuck, how far along would you be now?”

“Not anywhere near the end of my second trimester, pervert,” you teased, pulling at the strings of his pajama bottoms, “No pregnancy libido yet.”

“If I recall correctly, you were the perverted one,” he retorted, yanking his bottoms down and stepping out of them on his way to the bed. He plopped down, “I thought you were gonna give me rug burn in the end. It’s a miracle I am alive, and that our neighbors didn’t catch us just once.”

“Your dad did though,” you shimmied out of your shorts, matching top following right after, then crawled onto the bed to straddle your husband.

Javier grimaced, but still ran his hands up and down your thighs, “Boner killer. Stop talking about that.” 

“Sorry,” you leaned down over him to kiss him, but he was busy. His eyes briefly fell on your breasts, and you knew he was thinking about how full they would become soon. You rolled your eyes at the feel of his length poking into your hip. Putting a finger underneath his chin made you able to tilt his head upwards again, “My eyes are up here, babe.”

“You’re so fucking pretty, momma,” Javier’s hands rested on your bare thighs, gripping at the soft flesh like he had done earlier in the bathroom. You kissed him longingly, feeling his hands slide up the globes of your ass before settling at the small of your back, “Are you wet for me?”

“You have no idea,” you sat up in his lap to let him admire your breasts again, but also to guide one of his hands between your legs, “Feel.”

Javier swore under his breath, turning his palm upward to sink two fingers between your folds and inside of your cunt. You let out a shaky breath as he slowly opened you up with his thick fingers, feeling the soreness from how he had been between your thighs earlier last night. No wonder you were pregnant. 

He then nudged your g-spot without much effort, knowing you too well in bed as well, “Gotta get the blood flowing, you know I love you all dazed and confused on my dick, amor.”

You nodded with a soft moan, starting to roll your hips and fucking yourself onto his hand. This angle was always a winner, making you able to thrust your swollen clit against the heel of his hand whilst feeling the pressure of his fingers inside of you. It wouldn’t take long with how he tensed up his calloused palm, holding his wrist steady to let you use it. 

Your orgasm came a moment later, rippling through your core and causing your walls to pull at Javier’s fingers. He watched you from below, and you did all in your power to keep quiet; bit your lip harshly and whimpered through your teeth as you rode out your high.

Javier’s eyes on you were like fire, cock twitching underneath you in interest of making him feel the same too. You found his fiery stare with your own as you came down from your high, staring down into them as you panted. You sported a stunned expression but only until you burst into post-orgasmic giggles. You lifted off his hand, let yourself fall down onto your back beside him. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe how hard you make me come,” you moaned with a breathless laugh, reaching down to cup a hand over your mound and hissing a little. Javier rolled onto his side with a proud smile, lifting his chin as were he trying to show off to someone else in the room. 

“I’ve had some years to practice.”

“No, you’ve always been good at this,” you reassured, lazily rubbing your clit and feeling slick drip out of you at the clench that you provoked. You sighed softly but looked mischievously at him, “You think I married you for your dashing beauty and incredible personality? Please.”

“Oh, you did not just say that,” Javier moved quickly. He was on top of you and between your legs before you could protest, tickling you with one hand and holding the other over your mouth as you started squeaking with laughter. 

“Sorry! I love you. Javi!!” You said in a muffled voice, but he just continued until you were choking on your own breath, hiccupping and squirming underneath him. You weren’t doing the best job at being silent for the sake of privacy but Javier joined in as you suddenly bucked your hips up into him. 

“Fuck,” he swore loudly and removed his hand without thinking. 

“Need you,” you whispered, spreading your legs open underneath him, “Now, please, Javi.”

“You want a pillow?” 

“Yes.”

You lifted your hips as Javier took his own pillow from his side of the bed, pushing it underneath you until you could lower yourself onto it. You loved his gentleness in bed, his affection and warmth that never faltered despite how rough he was with you. 

“Have I ever told you that I have a massive crush on you?” You asked in a serious manner. 

“Whew. Thank God,” Javier laughed quietly and he absentmindedly ran his big palm over the part of your stomach that was just below your belly button. You could see the cogs turn, that he was taking in the thought of becoming a father of three as he spoke, “I think you might have mentioned it in your vows, but I’m glad you meant it… I was starting to wonder.”

“How did I become so lucky?” You asked but it was only you talking to yourself. 

“Hm?” 

“How did I get a man like you?” You continued musing, watched hungrily as he took his cock in his hand, stroking himself a few times and ran the head through your folds to coat himself in your arousal. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“Well, you were wearing a blue sundress with straps that had cute bows on them,” he replied, then pushed the tip against your slit and started bottoming out. 

“Thank heavens for that dress,” you whimpered at the breach by his generous length. It felt ridiculous to say how much you meant that statement, because if that was what had caught the old dog’s attention and, God forbid, you had worn something else that day… You would have never said hello and you would never have had a man that made you feel like someone was running around inside your chest every time he laughed or said your name.

“I’ve got you, momma,” he responded to your whimper. He didn’t have to tell you; you knew that he did indeed have you, always would. You wrapped your arms around him, nodding into the crook of his neck. 

Javier breathed out a whew, adjusting to being encased by your heat and then pulling back just a little only to ease back in. He was hardly removing his cock from you, and it made him go deeper than he normally would in the beginning. Your hips angled, determined to take him in further. 

“You feel so good, I don’t think I can hold back like this for long,” he told you as he set up a rhythm that had you both panting in each other’s embrace. You could feel his hot chest rub against your breasts as he rocked into you, making your nipple harden when they were stimulated into peaks. You dug your nails into the muscles of his shoulders, lifted your legs to lock your ankles around the small off his back. 

“You don’t have to hold back,” you moaned into his flesh, biting down to muffle a particularly high-pitched groan from the back of your throat as his pelvis found your clit, “We don’t have to be careful, remember? I need you to come in me. Don’t— Jesus, don’t pull out.”

“Shit—“ Javier’s hips faltered for a moment, but he came back with a bit more force, “Can’t say shit like that, baby. We are going to have that football team eventually if you love getting pumped full of come.” 

“I mean it,” you slid your hands into his hair to pull him in for a kiss. You could tell that he was getting closer incredibly fast after the realization had hit him, because his breathing was ragged and his thrusts were getting more forceful. 

You threw your head back as his pubic bone moved against your mound, adding further pressure to your clit and building up your second high. You clawed at him as you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly, muscles around your womb clenching but somehow you still managed to half-whisper, “Fuck, I’m gonna- hah, baby, oh fuck—“

“Come on, make me give it to you, baby, you know it fucking works with how easily I knock your pretty pussy up,” he placed a hand over your mouth like before. 

You came hard again, eyes rolling back into your skull as you could only breathe frantically through your nose. You clenched around his length rhythmically, pulling his own orgasm from him and putting on a show to show him just how much you’d needed to feel him coat your insides.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered through gritted teeth, seating himself inside of you and filling you to the brim. He stretched up a little, making your legs fall down to the sides again, and looked down at where you were connected with a string of quiet profanities leaving him. He grabbed the base of his cock after getting a proper look, then pulled out and made you whimper. Only then, he finally dared to remove his hand from your mouth.

You gasped for a proper mouthful of air, then followed his gaze down between your legs and curled your toes at the sight. You were red and puffy from being so spent, obscenely dripping with his seed. Desperately in need of a shower.

“What time is it?” You asked as you leaned back again, breath still ragged. Dazed and confused was probably the most accurate description that Javier had ever used.

Javier snapped out of his trance that was nothing but you. He looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand, “Few minutes to five. Might as well get up and shower for work.”

“I’m not getting up until I absolutely have to,” you mumbled as your tiredness began to creep up on you, not daring to close your legs just yet from how sensitive you still were. 

“Let me get you a cool rag,” he insisted and you just nodded, “And then you can sleep. I’ll take the kids, feed and dress ‘em. You just keep growing my quarterback.”

You smiled softly with your eyes closed.

People always said that all roads lead to somewhere but for you, it wasn’t somewhere; it was someone.

.

.

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[janners]

Forgive and Forget

Ao’nung x deaf!reader

warnings : little angst, Fluff, little bit of violence

wordcount : 9.9k

a/n : writing angst is so fun, but I also can’t write fluff for shit lol. Also bolded italics are when they are using sign language and just bolded is normal talking. Also I'm not good at coming up with titles, also not sure if I like this work sooo yea.

_

Being born into the family of Toruk Makto brings great joy for everyone. One problem, physical disabilities. Children turn to their mothers and fathers, for their comforting words and lullabies. But for you, you could only rely on touch and vibrations as your ears have been blessed with silence. Ever since you were born, you could not hear anything but muffled noises until it developed into silence.

Jake and Neytiri were stunned not knowing how to react as the great mother gifted them a child of tìkakpam(deafness). A child brought into a world of danger and curiosity who is at a disadvantage in many aspects. They brought you to Norm hoping that there was a way to assist you in any way. Normally hearing aids would be the answer but unfortunately the anatomy of a Na’vi is much different compared to a human.  

Norm promised them that he would find some sort of solution.

_

As the years passed, the more you grew. Most of your life was within the village. Jake and Neytiri wanted you to be safe knowing that hearing is a big part of their lives when it comes to sensing things around them. Though for you, you felt as if you were a burden. Having to constantly be with someone at all times and not being able to explore with your siblings. You understood the dangers that lurk beyond the village lines, but only once did you want to experience what others experience.

Learning also took you a little longer compared to other kids around you. You didn’t have a way of communicating with anyone until Jake remembered that sign language existed. Working with Norm, they created Na’vi sign language for you to learn. As they slowly introduced the new language to you, the more eager you were to learn. A fast learner is what they saw you as. Just within a year of practising and learning, you were amazingly advanced for your age - or at least amongst humans as Norm put it.

_

Being 17, you were allowed to have a bit more freedom compared to when you were younger. Even if you couldn’t go out as far as the rest, you still had certain areas you were allowed to explore. You also passed your lknimaya with little effort, just like Kiri the Ikran chose you without wanting to kill you. It seemed as though the great mother gave both you and Kiri close connections to her. Your Ikran had a deep purple colour with delicate black, yellow, and light purple accents covering its body - her name being flefle.

You had a routine that you followed everyday. Wake up, stretch, eat, then head out to do your chores. Your chores only really consisted of joining the gathering group to collect plants and fruit for the clan, as well as training under Mo’at with Kiri. Though on special days, you get to teach children sign language hoping that a second language could be learned throughout the clan. The children adored you, being gentle and patient with them and even goofing off made them love you as a teacher.

Unfortunately, the one day you decided to go against your parents' rules was the day you’d get caught by uniltìrantokxolo'. It all started with Tuk complaining that Lo’ak wouldn’t take her with him to explore the forest. Tuk had ran up to you as you were weaving some baskets, she quickly signed “Lo’ak is being a meanie, he won’t take me with him to the forest with the others. Can you please tell him that he has to take me!”

You give her a small smile in amusement knowing how Lo’ak and Tuk are half the time. You put the half done basket done to sign back “TukTuk, you know it isn’t very safe in the forest especially when you are still my little baby sister” she could only pout knowing that you are right but she tried asking you once more “Please y/n, I’ll be safe I swear on Eywa plus Lo’ak is strong enough to protect us and if not then he must suck as a warrior” You huffed in delight, you told Tuk to stay put as you went to go talk to Lo’ak about it.

Walking towards him seeing as he is ready to go to the labs before embarking on his adventure with Kiri. You quickly clap to grab his attention, he turns to the noise - once he saw you he could only sigh, especially with Tuk trailing behind you. You gave him a head tilt with a knowing look, he could only roll his eyes knowing what this was about.

“Tuk what did I tell you about telling y/n?”

Tuk stuck her tongue out to Lo’ak hoping it would offend him. He scrunched his nose at her giving a disgruntled look. You walked in front of him, giving him a flick on his forehead and making sharp gestures after. “Are you trying to go exploring again? You know how father reacts when you do things like this especially sa’nok when you bring Spider with you”

He gave you a deadpanned look since his conversation happens every time he tries to go out and explore. “How come you don’t tell Kiri this?” feeling a little insulted (sarcastically) when you only talked to him about this. “Kiri knows her limits unlike your skxawng ass”

He could only make a mocking face with his mouth imitating your words. You rolled your eyes at him now. You turn to Kiri hoping that they’ll be safe. “Are you guys going to stay in the areas we are allowed to and not go to the prohibited areas?” Kiri gives a curt nod “I’ll try to, you know how Lo’ak gets' ' Before she finished her sentence an idea popped into her mind. “Why don’t you come with us for once?!” You only sigh. “Sempu and Sa’nok would not like that you know, I think you forgot about my rules that they’ve set for me”

Lo’ak watching the interaction between you two made him throw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Eywa, just come with us for once and not be a stick in the mud Tsmuke” You gave him an irritated look when he signed “stick in the mud” but he wasn’t wrong.

Tuk suddenly jumped up from her spot just now forming what they had said.

“Lo’ak pleeaasse convince y/n to come with us, that way she won’t have to worry about me”

He only groaned just wanting to leave now. “Just come with us y/n, just this one time before Tuk keeps complaining?” You gave him an unsure look knowing how your parents would react to you being out of the safety zones of the village. But you thought, only one time couldn’t hurt what’s the worst that could happen, right? Finally you gave in, Lo’ak content and Tuk cheering. You all walk off towards the lab to grab Spider - your relationship with Spider isn’t very existent since you don’t see him very often.

As you enter the lab, Lo’ak and Kiri go their own way as you head towards Norm and Max. Giving a quick hello to them, you walk closer to them curious on what they’re working on. Taking a closer look, you gave Norm a knowing glance, he had been working on a hearing aid equipped for Na’vi ears. You tap his shoulder “Uncle Norm, I have told you already that you do not need to do this for me. I feel bad that you are taking your time on just this.” Norm turns to you with a bleak look on his face. “Don’t feel bad, I want this for you, I want you to be able to experience what we hear in your beautiful home plus you are my niece, of course I would do this for you.”

Just before you could respond back, Tuk drags you away to the entrance doors. Waving Norm bye before Tuk could drag you any further. Going out you see the three of them waiting for you and Tuk. “Hello Spider” he gave you a small smile before signing "Hi” back. He didn’t mind you either, although he didn’t know much about you it seemed as though you didn’t judge him for what he is and he appreciated it. All of you were now venturing off into the dense forest. You follow closely behind Kiri as you weren’t as familiar to the paths like the rest. You snap your fingers to grab Lo’aks attention once more, “Where are we even going?” Giving you a mischievous grin he said “A surprise” which could only mean bad things knowing how he is.

Continuing to walk through the plants for a couple more minutes before Lo’ak made everyone stop. You bump into Kiri’s back giving her a questioning stare, she gestured you to crouch down to the ground. You weren’t as to why, you turned to see what Lo’ak was doing, making us stop suddenly. He was looking in a certain direction, you followed his gaze just to fall on an old abandoned shack. Oh no, the shack we’re not allowed to come to. You waddled over to Lo’ak giving him a slap on his back. “Are you crazy?” You made hurried movements with your hands to show that you were annoyed with him. “This area is prohibited to all of us”

He gave you an annoyed glance before talking with Spider. You threw your head back while plopping down onto the dirt below you. You signed to Kiri that this was a dumb idea. She could only agree. Just before you guys decided to leave, your brother found tracks in the mud. They were fairly large considering that it was a boot mark. “You don’t think it is uniltìrantokx do you?” Giving them a worried look while pulling Tuk closer to your body. Their ears folded down seeing as it may be the only thing that made those marks. Lo’ak quickly communicated to our father about our findings.

He gestured to all of us to go quickly and quietly back to the village. “Lo’ak is it Skypeople?”

He nods briefly, you felt upset at yourself for allowing this to happen. You hold Tuk and Kiris hands as you try to navigate back home. Abruptly Tuk was stolen out of your grasp by a dreamwalker. You tried reaching out to her desperately wanting to pull her back before another dreamwalker pulled you by your kuru. You let out a strangled noise, panic coursing through your body from the sudden shock. They kicked your legs to make you kneel, you see they rest being captured the same being done to them.

You watch as they start talking, not understanding a word coming from their mouths. Lo’ak talking as well and making a vulgar gesture to the uniltìrantokx. You couldn’t focus well, your breathing uneven, pupils shrinking in fear.

“Hey shut that girl up, her breathing is too loud for me to hear this boy”

“Got it colonel”

Someone grabbed your cheeks harshly making you look at them. They were spewing words out as if they were yelling. You panic more seeing that they were angry with you, not being able to respond. You close your eyes, shaking your head vigorously.

“LET HER GO YOU ASSHOLES, SHE’S DEAF SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU”

The grip on your face loosened, your panicked state still present. Your eyes shift to Lo’ak as he gestured to you to calm down. You tried to slow your breathing down as you continued to witness the interactions between your siblings and the dreamwalkers. As time passed it grew dark, waiting for your family to come help you all. You glance over to Tuk making sure she was okay, her ears suddenly perked. Watching as the rest of them seem alerted by something.

It was a blur really, you were on the ground, next thing you knew an arrow shot across hitting one of the avatars. Guns started shooting near you, the one time you were glad not to hear those scary machines. Not knowing what to do, Lo’ak ran to grab you off the ground. Finally reaching the dense trees and bushes for cover, he asked if you were okay. “I’m okay, are you alright though?” He gave you a small nod. Only a minute later everyone else had found the two of you. Relief washes over Jake and Neytiri's faces seeing everyone was unscathed.

It seemed as though they had gotten rid of all the uniltìrantokx. Your mother came to you with a worried look pulling you into a quick embrace before pulling back to give a stern face. “You were not allowed to be here, you were to stay in the village” You could only give her a downcasted face as you were in the wrong. Neytiri sighs knowing how hard this must’ve been on you. Giving you one more quick hug before following everyone else back home.

_

Raids continued for another week until the tawtute eventually left Pandora once more. Unfortunately, your father wanted to leave for both our and the clan's safety. It was like another nightmare, the only home you knew was now being left behind. You weren’t as upset compared to your siblings but it still hurt knowing that you had to leave everything behind.

Jake stepped down from the role of Olo’eyktan with a solemn look. Everyone slowly mounted their Ikrans preparing to take off. There wasn’t much to take with you unlike Tuk and her toys and trinkets. She was always able to lift the mood somehow. You put the rest of her things on your Ikran before seating yourself on Flefle. Your father had given a signal to finally take off, taking one last look at the people and the forest. You thought about many things while flying during the long hours. How will I nag Norm now? Will the reef people accept a Na’vi like you? Would you be outcasted? How will you be able to feel vibrations on sand or water? It has troubled you greatly not knowing if you will be able to feel vibrations.

After a couple more more hours you start to watch as the dark blue slowly turns into beautiful crystalline water. You admire the colourful coral decorating the reef before spotting Na’vi with a much lighter skin tone. You follow your father and the rest on to a small clearing on the sand to land. As you land, Na’vi starts to slowly surround your family with curious and questioning gazes. Jumping off your Ikran, you walk closer to Neteyam grabbing his arm. Two boys emerged from the crowd looking at your family. They walk around to the back studying your bodies.

You felt a lingering stare coming from behind. You look over your shoulder to catch the taller boy studying you the most. He realised you had caught him and averted his gaze to his friend beside him. He started talking but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You turn to Neteyam asking what they were talking about, he told you not to worry too much about it. Giving him an unsure look you look back to your parents conversing with two other Na’vi. The Tsahik swiftly made her way towards you, she circled you and grabbed your tail while having an unimpressed look. You took your tail out of her grasp giving her a furrowed glance. She only looked at you with a squinted look before heading towards Lo’ak.

First impressions weren’t exactly the best, especially with your reaction. They had accepted your request of Uturu much to their dismay. Their daughter Tsireya, as Lo’ak told you, guided you all to your Mauri. You made them go ahead as you still needed to grab the last items from your Ikran. You wondered what Tuk had packed as it was heavy. Tossing things over your shoulder and carrying another on your back, you started to walk to catch up to your family. The boy from earlier saw you struggle, he tried calling you but no reply. Is she ignoring me on purpose? He gave up, annoyed with you not responding to him. Back with you, you finally caught up with your siblings. Settling into the Mauri you observe your brothers and sisters jumping into the water. You turn to your parents with doe eyes, wanting to join your siblings. They give each other a glance.

“Should we let her? I think it is safe enough in the reef to let her go, right?”

Neytiri took his words and contemplated whether to let you go or not. She did not want you getting hurt while wandering off but she also wanted to grant you freedom. She looked to where you were standing still waiting on their answer, she gave you a small smile.

“You may join them”

You gave her a toothy smile before joining your brothers and sisters. At the edge of the dock, you stare at the water, enamoured by its beauty. Lo’ak swam to you, “Are you allowed to come?” Smiling at him you nod. A small distance away, Tsireya asked Neteyam a question that she had in her mind since you guys got here.

“How do you all know sign language so well?”

Neteyam spun to face her, his mouth shaped as an O forgetting that they do not know about y/n.

“Our sister cannot hear you see, so we all learned sign language together to be able to talk with each other”

Her eyes widened with the fact that you were deaf but also impressed with their language skills. Of course Ao’nung could not hear Neteyam talk about you, too busy with daydreaming while waiting for everyone to join.

You dip your feet into the warm water before slowly emerging the rest of your body into the ocean. The water was soothing, helping with the aching muscles you had. You follow Lo’ak to join the others. As everyone emerged into the ocean, it was like a whole new world beneath the surface. You wandered off on our own just like Kiri, you admired every little detail of the coral and other aquatic plants surrounding you. Small unique looking fish started to swim around you. A look of amazement graced your features from the colourful fish and their behaviour. Eyes following their movement before they swam away.

It seemed as though your brothers could not hold their breaths for much longer. They all surfaced not seeing me or Kiri with them. Ao’nung ducked back into the water, he saw you far from the group swimming by yourself. He couldn’t help but see a breathtaking scene before him. You spun around to see where the others were, instead you met the boy's eyes. Feeling a little flustered you sent him a small wave, but all he returned was nothing while he went back up to the surface. Ears folding down, you felt a little dejected from the actions but focused back on the different world around you.

_

You had gotten out of the water much sooner than the others. A cut was on your arm from the corals being too immersed with your surroundings. Heading to the healing Mauri, you took quiet steps to the entrance, knocking on the side to grab the Tsahik’s attention. She looked up seeing you with blood running down your arm. Waving you over to sit, you were quick to sign an apology. Ronal looked at you with an odd expression. “You know sign?” Giving a curt nod, “I was born with tìkakpam” Eyes widening for a second before coming closer to you to inspect your cut. Placing a paste of mixed plants and herbs onto your arm before wrapping it with leaves. “Do not get this wet until the cut has been sealed” You smile “Irayo” You stood up to leave until you felt a hold on your hand, it was the Tsahik. Ronal had some remorse towards the girl despite their differences. “How would you feel about teaching the young children sign language? I heard from your mother that you did some teaching but I did not know what it was until now.”

You felt the tight feeling in your chest loosen a tiny bit. “I would love to.” To your surprise the Tsahik gave you a smile who was now shooing you off to continue your exploring. You felt a bit down due to not being able to swim for the time being but you shook the feeling off, striding to the shore. You slowly walk while water rises to tickle your feet, from a distance you see the same boy from earlier throwing spears into the sand. You walk towards him, you grab a stick from the sand and gently tap the tree near you. Ao’nung was slightly startled, missing his target. He turned to prepare to cuss someone out but immediately stopped as his eyes landed on you.

Eyes curving into a moon shape as you smiled and waved at him. There was a slight flutter in his chest seeing you. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way, he barely knew you.

“What are you doing here?”

You squint at his moving mouth, you picked up on what he said. “I was just walking until I stumbled upon you throwing the spears” He tilted his head, not understanding why you were using that language. Seeing his confused face, you completely forgot that he must’ve not heard about you. You quickly sign once more “oh sorry, I don't know if anyone told you but I am deaf” You gave him a gummy smile, he felt a bit guilty not knowing especially when he had tried calling out to you a few times. He walked closer to you, “I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself properly yet, I am Ao’nung” You look up to meet his gaze, he was quite tall for his age. “Nice to meet you Ao’nung, My name is y/n.” Y/n? A pretty name. He had thought.

You spent the rest of your time with Ao’nung. He’s shown you most of the island and told you about some traditions they do. You guys compare your traditions, competing with which is better. Some small banter here and there. Walking along the docks you spot these adorable creatures in the water. “What kind of creatures are those?” Your eyes glimmered in admiration. A small chuckle escaped Ao’nung’s lips, “These are called Ilu, very kind creatures they are.” Smile widening, you look into his eyes asking if it was okay to touch them just with your face. To him, you looked like an overexcited child receiving their first spear, he could only grin at the sight. He gave you the go ahead with a small nod. The Ilu swam up closer to the dock as you crouched down and reached your hand out.

It felt much more different from what you expected. The Ilu were very smooth and slippery, slightly rubbery. Your tail swinging back and forth, you look back up to Ao’nung with a determined face. “Can you teach me to ride one?”  He gave you a surprised look, “Well I planned on teaching you all the next morning…”  You stood swiftly grabbing both his hands, your face full of eagerness. He couldn’t resist and gave in. “Fine, but you better show off how good of a teacher I am tomorrow when I teach your siblings” You throw your hands up, victorious in convincing him. Immediately your mood dampened, you looked down to your arm, ah the cut. “Sorry Ao’nung, It seems that I’ve forgotten about my injury. I cannot get it wet.” Your face is apologetic.

Studying his face, he appeared a little disappointed. “It’s alright, once your arm is healed up I will teach you then.” Giving you a gentle smile. Alas, someone saw the scene, that person being Tsireya. She was ecstatic seeing her brother having a soft spot for you. Tsireya then saw you guys part ways for the day, just as you went out of view she ran up to her brother with the widest grin.

“You like her don’t you!?”

He was stunned by the sudden appearance of his younger sister. Heat filled his cheeks swatting his sister away.

“W-what are you talking about? Me, liking her? That is nonsense.”

Tsireya put her hand on her hip giving him the most unbelieving look she could give him.

“Your cheeks say otherwise brother”

“Bah, this is none of your business anyways. Plus I could say the same when you were looking at the forest boy”

A smug expression replacing his flustered one. Tsireya now he one who is flustered from the sudden mention of the one brother. She smacked his arm as hard as she could.

“OW, you did not have to hit me that hard women”

She could only roll her eyes. They both head on back to their Mauri constantly bickering along the way.

_

The felt someone shaking you gently, you awaken rubbing your eyes and letting out a long yawn. You turn to see who woke you, your mother. She ushered you over to eat,  you took a seat beside Tuk who was munching away. You ruffle her braids while signing good morning. Neytiri gently tapped the floor grabbing your attention, feeling the small vibrations you lift your head. Your mother signed about the talk you had with Ronal. “I heard that you are to teach the young ones sign?” You give her a soft smile, “Yes, the Tsahik assigned me to be a teacher after hearing that I was a teacher back home. I am quite excited” Neytiri huffed out air in content seeing her daughter settling well to the changes. “I hope you are ready then, the Tsahik told me to tell you to meet her at her Mauri today after you finish eating” Nodding, your attention back on eating thrilled for today’s events.

You wave your mother off as you head to the Mauri with a little skip to your walk. Finally reaching your destination, you see the Tsahik patiently waiting for your arrival. As you greet her, Ronal’s face softens from her usual hardened look. “Are you ready for your first day?” You nod energetically, excited to see what it was like to teach metkayina children. Both of you reach a small secluded area, just before you could take another step you spot a boy about your age waiting there. “This is Fänau, he will help you with the young as they are only beginners, he will translate for them.” You open your mouth in understanding. “The parents should come in a few minutes to drop their children off, have fun” Giving you one last smile she waves you off.

You walk to Fänau wanting to introduce yourself and get to know him a bit better before lessons start. “Hello, my name is y/n I hope we can work well together” You give him a kind smile. “I am Fänau as Tsahik mentioned, I am excited to work with you.”

_

Ao’nung was doing his morning chores. As he was carrying some baskets before he spotted his mother and you walking together. Suspicious, he followed behind them to see what they were doing. They stopped in a small area, he squinted his eyes to see what his mother was saying. First day? For what? Then he spotted Fänau, watching you two interact made him feel irritated. His mood was now spoiled, walking away with tight fists.

_

The first lesson was amazing, the children were amazing despite only knowing a few basic signs. You were radiating happiness as you passed a few members of the clan, you couldn't even be bothered by the stares you were getting. Walking to the shore, you remembered that your siblings were learning to ride Ilus today. Increasing your speed you finally spot them in the water getting ready to ride. You crouch to sit and watch them learn since your cut hasn’t fully healed yet.

Neteyam noticed your figure from a distance, he waves nice and high. Seeing you wave back made him chuckle. Ao’nung took a glimpse of you, you really were pretty in the sun. He felt a nudge in his side, turning just to see Lo’ak giving him a death stare.

“Stop ogling my sister fish lips”

“Who said I was looking at your sister?”

He looked away immediately trying to shield faint blush. Lo’ak gave him a dirty look not believing what he’s seeing right now. He slowly walks to Tsireya still giving Ao’nung a warning look. You continue to watch your siblings learn, chuckling to yourself as you saw Lo’ak fall off his Ilu. But your gaze trailed to Ao’nung who was also laughing, who knew one could look nice when they are laughing like that. Waving your hands frantically trying to wave those thoughts away. You must’ve thought you were crazy for thinking that way.

As they finish up their lessons, Kiri makes her way to you with a content smile. “The ocean is so beautiful” You smile agreeing with Kiri, the only thing missing is hearing the water and waves. How you wish you could hear it. Everyone had dispersed doing their own things, except you and Kiri. You stayed where you guys were, admiring the nature around you while Kiri was admiring the sand in the water. You caught a glimpse of figures moving from the corner of your eye. It was Ao’nung and a few other boys talking to Kiri. Your head tilted to the side wondering what they needed Kiri for. Brows furrowing see the discomfort on your sister's face. Standing from the sand, you walk over and grab Kiri’s hand and look towards Ao’nung. “Is there something you need from Kiri?”  Ao’nung faltered seeing you appear beside Kiri.

Instead of him signing to you he talks once more to Kiri. You catch the word freak coming from his mouth. You give him a hurt expression, you press your hand against his chest to put space between him and your sister. Just before you could say anything else Lo’ak comes onto the scene taking your hand away from Ao’nung. Neteyam then came along to relieve the tension between the two boys. Only a second later, literally a second, a fight broke out. While Kiri was laughing, you had a horrified expression on your face. You walk up to Ao’nung pulling on his tail to get him off your brother. In a blink of an eye, you felt pressure against your check making you fall back.

Everyone froze in place. First person to move was Kiri helping you off the ground asking if you were okay. You didn’t reply, you only looked at Ao’nung with a crestfallen look taking over your features. Before more punches could break out, your fathers came to the scene quickly pulling everyone apart. Ao’nung tried reaching out to you before being pulled away by his father. Your father left you with Ronal to help the bruise that is forming on your cheek. “Thank you for the paste Tsahik '' She shook her head, “You do not need to thank me, I swear to eywa if my son does something like this again so help me” You chuckle quietly seeing Ronal worked up over her son. “Also there is no need to call me Tsahik, just call me Ronal '' Her face is gentle as she continues to rub paste on your cheek. You were beaming now being on a first name basis with the Tsahik.

_

As the sun sets and the moon rises, you carefully take off the leaves surrounding your arm. The cut was finally sealed up, a smile graced your features knowing you can go into the water once more. The smile faded watching your brothers and sisters come into the Mauri with both annoyed and upset looks. “What is wrong? Did something happen again?” Neteyam could only sigh, “Ao’nung took Lo’ak outside the reef and basically left him for dead” Your expression etched into anger, not knowing why Ao’nung would do this. Kiri looked a little surprised as it was rare for you to get mad.

Standing up with anger radiating off your body, you stride towards Ao’nungs Mauri tail whipping around in frustration. Reaching the entrance you give the Olo’eyktan and Ronal a quick greeting. You didn’t meet the eyes of Ao’nung as you signed to Ronal. “I'm sorry to disturb you Ronal, but may I talk to your son” She took in your stiff posture and expression, the corner of her mouth perking up a little before giving you a brief nod. She found it quite amusing that her son was about to earn another lecture from someone else, especially from you.

Ao’nung hesitated with following you out, not ready for what you have to say. Finding a small spot on the sand you finally turn to meet his nervous gaze. Your stern face changed to sorrow. “Why?” He knew exactly what you were talking about but like a skxawng he played dumb. “What do you mean?” Frustration growing once more, you punch his chest. “You first called us freaks and then left my brother to die outside the reef” Your gestures were sharp and quick showing your bitterness. He only looked down knowing what he did was extremely wrong. You huff air from your nose in disbelief, you thought he was nice but you thought wrong. You made him look at you once more. “Not only that, if my siblings are freaks, then what am I? I have the same features of those tawtute and I cannot hear. Does that make me a monstrosity compared to everyone else?”

Not once did Ao’nung feel that way. You were one of the most gorgeous Na’vi he’s ever seen. He wished he could say those to you but he was still silent. Tears well up in your eyes, your head hung low. “To think that one person wouldn’t judge me apart from my family. I really thought we could’ve been friends Ao’nung maybe even a little bit more than that” Again silence, you took it as a sign that Ao’nung wouldn’t change. Ao’nung was frozen in place, not being able to comprehend what you signed. You wanted something more? Just as he lifted his head to look at you, your body was already walking away from his figure. He wanted to reach out, he really did, but he stayed in place not wanting to make matters worse.

You make it back to the Mauri and sit right beside your mom. Head leaning into her side, tears now falling freely accompanied with small sniffles. Neytiri wanted to ask what had happened but thought it was best to comfort her daughter with her warm touch. She brought you closer into her body as you continued to cry quietly. Neytiri started to hum your waytelem hoping you could feel the vibrations from her chest. The soft murmurs from your mothers body calmed you, you felt your body slowly falling into slumber. In time you fall asleep completely, Neytiri picks up your small figure and puts you onto your mat and gently drapes a thin cover over you.

Jake looked at Neytiri with a concerned look. They knew that moving somewhere away from the forest would come with difficulties. It was a small given that the children would be seen differently due to their different appearances. He contacted Norm and asked about his little project for you. His throat felt parched hearing that Norm had almost figured it out. Norm mentioned that in another week or two it could be ready for use. Jake sighed in relief, you would finally be able to experience the sounds of their stunning world. Looking over to your peaceful frame, he could only worry because you were his first daughter and he knows how much you’ve been through.

_

Days have passed, you’ve gone everyday to teach the children along with your new friend Fänau. You have also been ignoring Ao’nung because you weren’t ready to face him. Ever since that day, you haven’t really given yourself the time to learn how to ride and explore more of the ocean. Fänau was walking by your side after finishing the lesson for today. You turn to him with a cheeky smile, “Have you gotten the chance to talk with Zoprrì?” giving him a small nudge with your hip. His face flushed with purple and gave you a small smack on your arm. “Do not tease me. I tried but I fumbled over my words and ran” Fänau buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. You bring your hand up to his shoulder for comfort. “You still have lots of time, he will definitely see how awesome you are Fänau” You give him your widest smile with a small thumbs up. He could only release a small laugh at your silly gestures.

It was his turn to give you a teasing smile. “How’s Ao’nung?” You give him a deadpan expression. “You know damn well how he is, I did not rant to you two days ago just for you to ask that dumb question” He chuckled, “He is like a lovesick puppy, he keeps trying to find you” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms, then releasing with sharp movements. “Lovesick? Lovesick my ass, if he really did then he would not have called us freaks' ' Fänau found it amusing when you started ranting, but he knows that you would not budge from the idea of avoiding Ao’nung. “He is going to keep trying to talk to you until you finally give in” Eyes squinting at him, you slowly sign “I won’t give in, watch me” He pursed his lips then released a long sigh. “You will, I know you are still upset with him but you will have to talk with him eventually especially when you live here now” Your ears face down, he was right but Ao’nung did not deserve your friendship right now. Both of you continue to walk discussing random topics.

Ao’nung once again had gone in search of you. He desperately wanted to apologise, he did not want to lose you. He searched throughout the village but you made no appearance. Realisation took over his features that you must’ve been teaching right now during this time. Walking to the area, he thought of many ways to somehow start the conversation once he finally has the chance. Just on time, the lesson had just finished but he paused his movements. He saw you walk away with Fänau. Twinge of jealousy pricks his heart seeing the two side by side. Instead of walking away, he followed the two of you making sure not to make a sound. He was too far to see what you were discussing with him, he moved in closer hiding behind the trees. He read your movements and got to the part where you mentioned him calling you freaks. Guilt washed over his body, it was his fault for saying those foul things.

He studied your expression, it was full of annoyance and a tinge of sadness. Ao’nung did not want you to feel upset with him. An idea popped into his head, gifts. Remembering that his sister was skilled in making accessories. Leaving the scene, he ran with determination towards his family Mauri. Today was an off day for them, entering the Mauri he spots his sister already working on some small trinkets and bracelets.

“Tsireya?”

She looked up from her work seeing her brother standing awfully awkwardly.

“Did you need something Ao’nung?”

He wasn’t sure why he was feeling shy for asking a small favour from his younger sister. Fiddling with his fingers he opened his mouth just to close it again. He felt frustrated with himself for not being able to get the words out. He let out a groan, looking straight at Tsireya once more before he blurted out.

“Can you help me make stuff for Y/n…”

Her eyes were blown wide before she beamed with delight. Scrambling up to stand, she ran up to her brother pulling him towards her working area. Tsireya pushed down on his shoulders forcing him to sit, but did it a bit too hard making him fall hard on his butt. He let out a small yelp, giving his sister a stunned look. Letting out a small sorry before she sat next to him with a look of curiosity.  

“What exactly did you want to make for her? A charm? Bracelet? A beautiful top? Hair decor? Cute trinkets?”

He cut her off by smacking his hand on her mouth to stop her from rambling. She was getting too excited for his liking. Pinching his nose bridge he came up with an idea.

“I was hoping to give her a variety of things until she finally lets me talk to her. I thought we would start with an accessory for her ears seeing she has a hole in her ear”

Tisreya looked at her brother full of admiration. She was grateful that you were able to change Ao’nungs foul behaviour. She shuffled closer to Ao’nung showing him a variety of pieces that they could use to start this earring. He knew that you usually wore feathers but they didn’t really have those. Some scales caught his eye, they were shiny and in the light they reflected with a beautiful orange and yellow colour.

“Do you think I could mend these together and shape it?”

He picked the scales up showing them to Tsireya. She squinted her eyes while staring at the scales in thought. A solid nod, he exhaled not knowing he was holding his breath for her approval. Hours went by as Ao’nung was a bit difficult to teach especially when snarky remarks were being tossed back and forth. Tsireya constantly smacks his hand when he does something wrong after being told repeatedly not to do that. Or he groans in frustration while dropping the earring flopping backwards onto his back. Tsireya could only give him apathetic looks. Through all of that they finally finish the set of earrings made for you. They both release a sigh of content before falling back at the same time.

“You plan to do this how often Ao’nung?”

“...every night”

She sits up so quickly, almost giving herself whiplash. Looking at Ao’nung with a gaping mouth and furrowed look.

“AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER”

“WHAT DOES MAKING STUFF FOR HER MAKE YOU THINK I LIKE HER?”

Tsireya looked at him like he was crazy. She threw her hands up in exasperation while huffing out.

“HAH, YOU’RE BASICALLY COURTING HER YOU SKXAWNG”

He choked on his words, courting? He gave his sister a flabbergasted expression.

“I’m leaving, I can't stand this conversation anymore. I need to go drop the earrings off”

Tsireya mocked him as he walked away heading towards your family's Mauri. As he’s walking, he looks down to the earrings in his hands. Thoughts run through his mind, Will she like them? Will she throw it away? Will she wear it? Distracted by his thoughts he didn’t realise that he had reached the Mauri. He started fidgeting with his creation worried that you may be there. Just before he took another step, Neteyam had stepped out of the Mauri. He turned his head, catching Ao’nung in his line of vision. His once relaxed face turned stiff. Ao’nung grew nervous seeing your brother walk slowly towards him.

“What are you doing here Ao’nung”

His voice is firm and demanding.

“I was uh, was wondering if I could give this to y/n?”

He held out his hand to reveal the delicate handcraft. Neteyam looked puzzled, not understanding why. He could see some flaws in his craft as he tried to shape it into a feather look and the weaving looked a little messy. He gently took the earrings from Ao’nungs hand making sure to handle it carefully. Ao’nung shoulders dropped in relief that Neteyam accepted his request.

“I cannot assure you that she will forgive you with this”

Ao’nungs expression grew grim.

“I know, but I will keep trying”

Neteyam looked at him with a pleased face. He was glad that someone was willing to try for you. Many men in their past clan didn’t make many advances towards you due to your deafness. Seeing that there was someone here making an effort provided him some peace. He bids Ao’nung off, entering the Mauri he trudged to your hunched over figure. He taps his foot beside you, catching your attention. “A certain boy came by '' Your ears pointed down, turning away from him, focusing back on your basket weaving. He sighed, he went and sat in front of you. “You know you cannot avoid him forever. I know he said some upsetting things but all of us have now become a bit acquainted for the most part” You stop your moving hands, lifting your head to meet his stare. “Yes you guys have but not me. I am not ready to face him yet.” Neteyam pursed his lips, he took one of your hands and placed the earrings gently in your palm. “He came by to give you these, you can tell he made them” You bring your hands closer to your body, studying the accessory. The beautiful colours resembled your actual feathered earrings except these were shiny and reflective. You noticed the small cravings on the side trying to resemble the feather details. Your lips curled into a faint smile.

Neteyam noticed and smiled, he gave you a small ruffle on your head before heading out once more. As he left, you got up from your spot and walked over to your space. You had a small trinket box where you stashed away your things. Carefully placing the earrings into the box, you look at it once more before closing. You pondered why he had given you a set of earrings. Continuing your basket weaving, you stayed in thought about the different possibilities on why until the sky grew dark.

_

As a few more days passed, everyday Neteyam or Lo’ak would give you something made by Ao’nung much to Lo’aks dismay. Each item was beautifully made even though there are some small mistakes you can spot out. The other day, Neteyam had brought in a delicate top covered in intricate designs. Tsireya definitely helped him with that. Your mother had told you that there was a big celebration tonight and wanted you to join. She knew you weren’t big on these types of things but thought it would be nice for you to join in one every once in a while.

The celebration was nearing, you thought long and hard about what you should wear. You look towards the collection of accessories that Ao’nung gifted you. You missed Ao’nung, but you were scared to approach him. You took this chance to wear everything he made for you as a sign of forgiveness. Putting on the bracelets, the earrings, neck pieces, and the beautiful top. Lo’ak had walked in to grab something but saw you wearing Ao’nungs “ugly” creations. He gave you a furrowed look with his eyes peering at you. “You’re really gonna wear his things?” He saw you give him a brief nod. He could only sigh, “If he tries anything tonight don’t hesitate to grab me okay?” Smiling, you gave him another nod for reassurance.

Heading to the main gathering area, you feel deep vibrations under your feet as you come closer to the celebration. You see bright lights from the fires illuminating the entire ground accompanied by the shining moon. You move your head to see your father talking to somebody, they turned their head a bit and you realised that it was Norm. You missed him dearly, you carefully snuck up behind him before jumping on his back. You felt his body jolt, he turned to see your extremely happy face. He gave you a tight embrace before pulling away. Your face changed from happy to confused. “How come you are here uncle?” Seeing those words he gave you a toothy smile. “I finally figured out the hearing aid situation” Eyes widening with tears slowly forming on your bottom lashes. “This isn’t a joke is it?” He gave you another smile while shaking his head. You jumped into his arms once more as tears were finally released from your eyes.

“Do you want to test them right now, see if you can hear the music?” You nod vigorously as you wipe your tears away. Norm carefully picked up the wooden box and opened them to reveal the small hearing aids. He gently placed them into your ears adjusting the sizing to fit. Putting on the lowest level of volume, he turns them on. You weren’t sure how to react, emotions were everywhere. Ears twitching to the small sounds around you, the people chatting, the crackling of the fire, the booming music. Tears welled in your eyes once more, you turned to Norm, ramming into him giving him another hug as your cry in his chest.

“How do you feel kiddo?”

Your eyes widened at his voice, “I can hear you, I can actually hear you” He chuckled lightly as tears threatened his vision as well. You quickly turn to your father, you run to him and grab his arms. “Sempu try talking”

“Nga yawne lu oer Ma’ite”

His voice sounded more fatherly than you thought it was. Deep voice with raspy undertones. You lean into his body, overwhelmed with joy. You grab the rest of your siblings and your mother to hear all their voices. As a family you shared your tears of happiness, you finally felt normal.

Ao’nung and Tsireya arrived late due to Ao’nung worrying too much about his appearance and Tsireya constantly reassured him that he looked fine. As they joined the clan they head towards their parents first notifying their presence. He noticed his mother with a smile on her face while looking in a certain direction. He followed her gaze stopping on you, you were dancing with your younger sister Tuk. His eyes open like saucers seeing you decorated with all his creations. Purple hues appear on his cheeks and ears as he continues watching you dance with such positive energy radiating from you. Tsireya smirked, elbowing his ribs.

“Go. Ask her to dance with you”

He swallows his saliva in nervousness. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

Tsireya laughs lightly.

“I’m sure she will, plus she’s wearing all your things”

Ao’nung begins walking towards your dancing frame. His cheeks still warm as he watches you dance with such grace and freedom. As he got closer, you noticed him coming to you. You stopped dancing and signed to Tuk to go to Kiri. Once he was standing right in front of you he couldn’t muster a single word. You watched as he stood silent, you were hoping he would say something but nothing came out. A small pang of disappointment filled your chest. You turn to walk away until his hand grabs your arm. You move your head slightly just to see him out of the corner of your eye. “Would you like to dance with me?” Eyes widening from the question. You give him a shy nod trying to avoid his gaze. He guided you near the centre, softly grabbing your other hand. You felt weird being in the middle of everything, you kind of wish you were back dancing on the sidelines.

Ao’nung sensed your slight discomfort, so he decided to dance first. He did a couple moves here and there, a few being a little silly to make you more comfortable. You finally are confident enough to start dancing as well. You moved swiftly and rhythmically to the beat. Ao’nungs movement falters, watching you fall into the music once more. He was slightly confused not knowing how you knew the rhythm so easily. But he forgot about it immediately as you grabbed his hand pulling him closer to you.

From afar both pairs of parents watch as their children enjoy their night. Neytiri settled beside Ronal while watching her son and her own daughter dance together. “They seem good,” Ronal smiled, agreeing with Neytiri.

“Your daughter is a very bright girl despite the difficulties she faces”

Neytiri watched you with a gentle expression.

“She is isn’t she”

An idea surfaced in Ronals mind, she was sure it would stun Neytiri.

“How would you feel about me teaching her the ways of a healer? I know my daughter is the next Tsahik but I think it would be good if y/n learned about healing”

She whips her head to face Ronal with shock. Neytiri knew you weren’t much of a hunter or warrior so healing made sense.

“You would do that for her?”

Ronal nods.

“Anything for a future daughter”

Ronal hid her laughter seeing Neytiris reaction. Both mothers had become close over the couple weeks. The celebration had slowed down, everyone settling into chatting amongst themselves while their children ran around. Few decide to eat niktsyey as well and enjoy their drinks. You and Ao’nung decided to settle down as well, sitting with the rest of the chaotic group. Ao’nung sat close to you but without Lo’ak giving him the dirty eye. He shifted a tiny bit closer to you just to get on Lo’aks nerves. As for you, you were fidgeting with your fingers while watching the children play with each other. A small group of children you recognised as some of your students. They pulled your arms wanting you to play with them. You sign to Ao’nung quickly saying you’d be back before getting dragged away by the kids.

He watches you as you run around with the children chasing you and one on your back. Ao’nung felt as if he was on cloud nine just observing you getting along with the kids so well. He knew you would make a great mother someday. Rotxo nudged him teasingly.

“You definitely like her, can’t deny it now”

He swats Rotxos hand away, giving him a small hum. Not once has he taken his eyes off you, you looked amazing in his crafts and he felt proud. Lo’ak had thrown a pebble at his head but he didn’t even notice, too entranced with his sister. You finally wave to the children off before sitting beside Ao’nung once more. The rest of the night was filled with talking and laughter especially because of Lo’aks and Ao’nungs bickering with each other. You haven’t told Ao’nung about your new hearing aids, wanting to wait to be alone to finally have an actual conversation with each other. But throughout the night you kept increasing the volume as you get used to the sounds. You heard what Ao’nung sounded like but not clearly due to the other chatter around you.

As everyone slowly starts to head back to their Mauris, you took Ao’nungs hand and guide him to the shoreline. He was a little confused but followed you anyway. As you reach the shore, gently bring him down to sit with you. You make your body face him, you look into his ocean eyes that are shining in the moonlight. “I forgive you” You watch as his eyes widen and a smile settles on his lips. “You do?” Giving him a gummy smile you nod briefly. His expression dropped just a little, “I’m sorry for saying those cruel things, and for not saying anything. I don’t think you’re a freak, you are unique and beautiful. I’m sorry for making fun of your siblings as well, the silent treatment was well deserved for me.” Grabbing his hand, you give him a look of compassion. “All is forgiven and forgotten okay? It is alright now” Giving him a wide grin you quickly sign, “Can you say my name with your actual voice?” Ao’nung gave you a puzzled expression but went along.

“Y/n?”

Your smile widened, eyes turning in crescent moon shapes. “You have a lovely voice” He blinked a few times not understanding how you heard him. Seeing him confused you exhale in amusement. You slowly remove the headpiece that was covering the hearing aids. You turn your head to the side to show him the small device. Ao’nung tilted his head still confused on what the device has to do with your hearing, especially when he doesn’t understand tawtute machinery. You chuckle at his expression, “My uncle made this device to help me hear, it took many long years to perfect for me. But I can finally hear everything… even you.” Ao’nung felt his cheeks and ears warm up from your comment from earlier about liking his voice. His tail wagging unintentionally behind him.

“No wonder you were dancing beautifully to the music”

This time your cheeks were set aflame hearing his gentle voice and compliment. You buried your face in the palms of your hands feeling embarrassed. As you try to avoid his gaze, he feels happy knowing he had an effect on you. He gently caresses your hands, bringing them down to his lap. Ao’nung gazes into your golden eyes that seem to light up in the dark. Studying your face, the glowing specks, your unique striping and your soft lips. Mustering up his courage, he slowly leans in, inching closer and closer to your face. Your eyes flutter closed anticipating the possible kiss. Feeling his hand on the side of your cheek, the soft touch of his lips finally connect with yours. The kiss was gentle yet passionate under the moonlight. The nervous feeling in your system vanished as the kiss lasted longer. Pulling away to catch your breaths, you look into each other’s eyes before breaking out into quiet laughter. Purple hues still visible on your cheeks.

Sitting together in silence, bodies facing the ocean with your tails entangled. Listening to the waves crashing against each other, and the animals chittering through the night. Head resting against his shoulder and his head resting on top of yours. You felt at peace slowly dozing off to the sounds of Ao’nungs breathing. Ao’nung peaked at your face, a small smile forming on his lips thinking, how did I get so lucky?

_

Years passed, you became an experienced healer assisting Tsireya with her continued Tsahik studies. As well as continuing teaching the small children sign. Ao’nung became a strong warrior, earning multiple markings. Not only that, you became mates. Ever since that night, both of you were inseparable. Ronal adored you, more than Ao’nung or so he said. Your brothers also become strong warriors within the clan. Lo’ak followed the Metkayinas ways as Neteyam continued the Omatikaya ways. Kiri and Tuk both joined the gathering groups although Tuk was training to be a warrior. Ao’nung was also able to finally give you those Ilu lessons which went wonderfully apart from distracting each other. As Fänau, he finally got together with Zoprrì. Both of you were still close friends, much to Ao’nungs disagreement. Everything was finally in place.

[hadesoftheladies]

"you are killing a baby"

i am killing a fetus, not an infant. an egg is not a chicken. potential is not actuality.

"you are murdering an innocent."

it doesn't matter who is innocent. a hungry lion may be innocent in wanting to eat me only because it is hungry and may not have the cognitive capacities to exercise something like restraint or conscience. that does not mean i should not defend myself from harm. it is still self-defense. all animals are expected to protect themselves first and foremost. you are just so used to the idea that women (especially mothers) are supposed to sacrifice their lives for their children in order to be good people--like they aren't human beings with self-preservation instincts.

harm equals anything that threatens the life or health of a person and pregnancy does both.

"your body was meant/designed to do this"

miscarriages are as natural as pregnancies. why do you think the placenta exists? pregnancy sickness? the female body can grow a person, yet also has resistance mechanisms for a pregnancy.

also, just because i have genes that make me a good runner doesn't mean i have to become a marathoner. like think for a second.

"what will the father think?"

women don't owe men or society themselves. i know that's very hard for you to grasp but there's no time like the present to start. there is no ethical way to make a woman a commodity or government assigned asset for reproduction or sex.

"the baby is conscious"

so is the lion in the hypothetical. also, that's debatable. also, what are your thoughts on veganism? since you care so much about the suffering of conscious beings (that is beings with selves)

"but animals aren't humans. they don't deserve the same rights as humans because of their lower cognitive capacities"

great. now apply this ethic to babies and mentally disabled people and then try to explain to me why that has to be different without mentioning how you feel or your religion. :)

"a baby has more potential than an animal."

okay, and why does that potential automatically mean better or more valuable? higher cognitive capacities haven't stopped wars and mass murders have they? (and i would argue that bringing a child into a violent world increases their chance of becoming unhealthy or complicit persons, so you can almost know what the character of your child will be like for certain based on where you're raising them).

"a baby has a soul"

there are two kinds of dualisms within christianity: thomistic and cartesian. cartesian dualism has gone out of fashion even amongst christian theologians and philosophers.

Substance dualism, or Cartesian dualism, most famously defended by René Descartes, argues that there are two kinds of foundation: mental and physical. Descartes states that the mental can exist outside of the body, and the body cannot think.

'Thomistic substance dualism' (TSD) centers around two beliefs: 1) the rational soul is an immaterial substance, and 2) this immaterial substance is the human person.

aside from the fact that both of these philosophies are rife with problems, I think thomistic dualism is the stronger of the two. the rational soul is, in a way, a word for the self.

regardless, both of these describe a self as a soul. so i'm just going to define a self.

The psychology of self is the study of either the cognitive and affective representation of one's identity or the subject of experience. The earliest formulation of the self in modern psychology forms the distinction between two elements I and me. The self as I, is the subjective knower. While, the self as Me, is the subject that is known.

a self is a centralized consciousness with their own memories, introspection and reflections. we know through neuroscience, psychology, behavioural science and sociology that a person or self is formed via experiences (where memories and impressions are gathered, how people learn), language and socialization (economy, history, family, culture) and possibly some genetic expressions (although i think this is more about capacity than actualization).

this is why things like dementia or alzheimer's are so scary and difficult. when a person loses memories, they lose aspects of themselves. when a person changes their environment, they also become different people (even while maintaining some similarities with their past selves).

this is mirrored in popular media, characters that lose their memories lose versions of themselves. this is also why, when you look at stories that feature a multiverse, the same character becomes a different person in different lives. in short, you are not born a person. you become one, and although your self remains singular and centralized (even with age), that self still changes. both the self and the people around the self create the self.

this is also why socially isolated individuals devolve and become mindless or sick (and even have reduced lifespan). certain higher human capacities like "conscience" or "empathy" can be socialized out of a human being, as well. i'd even go so far as to say that children begin conceptualizing themselves as individuals only when they begin to sense the presence of other human beings. they cannot conceptualize their own identity without the presence of other people. they probably don't know they are a self until they recognize other people and then realize they themselves are also people, and people are individuals.

legally a person is:

. . . an entity that the law recognises as having its own distinct personality. This usually means one that is able to act in its own right, and capable of possessing legal rights and liabilities, including individuals (or "natural persons") and corporate organisations.

my point is, how can a fetus with virtually no experiences (which born animals have), no language or skill (learned) to introspect or reflect (or abstract), possibly have a self? when they are not exposed to the outside world? certainly they have the capacity to develop a self, but as established earlier on, potential is not actuality. so legally and psychologically, a fetus is very likely not a person.

but we do not need this to be true to justify abortion regardless, because an innocent person is still causing harm, whether directly or indirectly. so the woman/girl has every right to resist.

[myobsessionsspace]

He could never have been a villain, never anything but the greatest hero, leader, man on the show…

no matter how you word it

Now I don’t usually post much on Rick Grimes alone, cos Queen Michonne takes up all of my heart. This is Danai & Michonne (and Richonne) stan Space FIRST💅…

BUT I stan Richonne and can stan them DOWN because one half of Richonne is WORTHY of Michonne.

Second to Michonne, Rick is my favourite character. Why am I lying it’s their unborn baby(s) conceived during TOWL ep 4😜

Rick was the ‘officer friendly’ the ‘by the book’ family man, didn’t lose his temper with his wife to the point that THAT annoyed her, loved his son inside out and sideways. Did his job with everything and took a bvllet for it.

In the new world, though many bumps along the way, people he butted heads with, power plays, differences had with words and fists. Ultimately this man took charge and led people, protected people, sometimes from themselves and NOT by preying on the week, selling them out or culling them. NOT by lying and backstabbing, siding with the bigger bad, imposing a tax and enforcing a rule by fear, follow my rules or die by my hand, violence against any and all.

remember how and why Dwight’s face ended up that way 😑 why the women are dressed and distressed, why the doctor was there and what happened next? Why we even sweated The Saviors for too damn long?! The plain difference between what someone chooses to do and what they do when they have no choice or what they chose to do because they feel it must be done.

No, RICK GRIMES stuck his neck out for people he knew for days, weeks or months. He would do for someone he met a week ago the same as someone he’d known for years.

Pillow talk after risking their necks to helps several communities survive including people that tried to take their lives and their community

He protected and loved a child as his own, protected and loved the wife that created said child with his BEST FRIEND & PARTNER. Some wouldn’t, many wouldn’t.

Along the way he turned strangers to family, protected himself and others with everything he had in him. Used his bare hands and mouth to the end lives of those trying to end his and his loved ones.

Never once gave up on his children, after every antagonist that he encountered he they took a little more from him, broke him a little more, the last even took him from his family for YEARS, left him physically disabled trying to be with his family.

Rick Grimes may have blood on his hands, HIS INCLUDED, but it has always been to protect or defend his family, protect or defend those that couldn’t. He started out as a Sheriff’s Deputy and ended up a Survivor. The only person that he ever can be compared to as the other side of the same coin is the other half of his heart, Michonne.

No other character man or woman, dead or alive, on the show or a spin off, a protagonist or antagonist can rightly and justifiably claim that.

different leaders then RICK flaws and all

It’s impossible to make Rick Grimes into a villain, to liken him to one, because at his core Rick Grimes is just a loving father, a loving husband, partner and friend, a protector and a survivor. NOT at the cost of others but for the benefit of others. He puts others first each and every time.

That’s why his character is THE main character. Why he is one of the most loved characters active or not and why his & Michonne’s continued story is THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ❤️‍🔥

[pjshermann]

Why does Lucien's daughter hate Jude? When they meet, I think it is at the hospital, she says something like "Look who it is, Daddy's pet" and Jude is embarrassed. The other daughter tells her off and is friendly toward Jude. Did Lucien over praise Jude? Brag of him during family dinners because Lucien was Jude’s workplace law mentor/boss ? Jude is, of course, disabled and did this make Lucien over protective? Lucien's narky daughter has attended rehab and isn't a lawyer like her sister, so perhaps she sees Jude as some kind of family interloper, a cuckoo, the 'son' her dad wanted (and Harold feels a ping of jealousy when Lucien visits Jude in Greene Street after Caleb's attack). Using the word 'pet' too in a negative way feels like she is mocking Jude and giving him a low status. Just thinking of this brief scene.

I was very confused by this passage as well, especially since it just felt like it came out of nowhere. But I think you’ve answered your own question already haha there are certainly two scenarios for why Portia hated Jude in this scene

We all know Lucien and Jude had a very close relationship that went beyond just a simple boss-employee or mentor-employee bond.

Lucien was always the one to tell Jude how proud he was or how significant his case winnings were. He was the one who recognized Jude’s extraordinary abilities and recruited him to Rosen Pritchard. He was always telling Jude to take care of himself, to go eat or sleep after a long day of work. Lucien came to visit Jude after Caleb nearly killed him, and Lucien often visited him in the hospital after his suicide attempt. He called multiple times just to talk to him, just to chat. He cared for Jude’s health a lot, but he never treated Jude like a child or as someone to be babied. He recognized Jude’s want to prove himself capable and to be treated as an adult and respected that as much as he could.

But even as much as he respected Jude’s independence, he still took on a very parental role towards him. Before Jude begins dating Caleb, he’s one of the people who pester him about being single. He even says to Jude “I just think that I’d like to see you settled down with someone.” which is very similar to Harold’s own words of “We’d like to see you with someone.” Now that’s sort of abnormal for a boss to care about, isn’t it? But Lucien and Jude were close, and Lucien saw Jude as a responsibility of his, possibly even saw him as a son. Lucien’s admiration and care for Jude was so obvious that Harold even noticed and felt a little jealous that someone else had taken on such a parental role towards Jude.

So yes, one possible reason for her attitude towards him is Portia is jealous of Jude, or jealous of her father’s relationship with Jude/how much her father admired him. She could even see Jude as being an intruder of sorts, poking in on what is meant to be a family affair when he isn’t family.

But I also think that perhaps Portia was just feeling upset that day. After all, her father is in the hospital after suffering a debilitating stroke. Not to mention her own life doesn’t seem to be going well, seeing as she’s constantly going in and out of rehab. Jude mentions that he’s met Lucien’s daughters before, and even the younger one obviously recognized him enough to call him by name and express her condolences for Willem. He is surprised when Portia looks at him with hatred, which could possibly indicate that she’s never held animosity towards him before, at least not outwardly. She might’ve just been snappy that day and found a target to take her anger out on. Maybe her words were what she actually feels towards Jude, maybe she just wanted to be snarky. We just don’t know enough about her character to make a certain conclusion.

This ask reminds me of how I was thinking just the other day about how much I love the background characters of A Little Life, the ones who show up for just a split second or so. Shout out to Felix i love u and your punk rock band ! Shout out to Judge Sullivan for being a fat fuck !

[waxdream]

Trigger warning - adoption, suicide, trauma, objectification.

I need to talk about adoption in Flatland. I'm adopted, so the details of this part of the story are a bit hazy due to dissociation. But like, Abbott has so many little points in his book that it impresses me. I can't tell if he did it on purpose, but if he did, damn am I impressed.

I went to the foundling museum in London a few years ago. I cried a lot, seeing the stolen items, and the exhibition of 'adoptees/orphans/fosterlings in comic books' that was downstairs. That was my favourite museum exhibition ever. My item I had from my birth mother is a candle that sits on my shelf. It's blue, and I didn't know what it was for a long long time, until one day I was about to throw it away. Luckily, I asked my adoptive mother if she wanted it, and she told me what it was. I almost threw part of my history away.

Which leads me into flatland, and the equilateral triangles. A class of adoptees. The only adoptions mentioned in the book are forced apon triangle families by the state for 'angular purity', and in order to give higher class people with an inability to have children the chance to adopt. In a modern context, I would take this as a scathing read of the adoption system. Only lower class, male children with desireable qualities are eligible for this kind of class crossing adoption, and the birth family celebrate it. The lower class is indoctrinated into thinking that 'this is for the best'.

In the UK at the time of my adoption, I've been told the desirable child was a white baby girl with no obvious disabilities, blonde hair and blue eyes. My foster carers were ineligible to adopt me, and the cynic in me believes this was because I was considered an object with 'desireable' qualities. The shadow court in my mind says 'it could have made some rich middle class family very happy' when I'm feeling grumpy and objectified. Luckily, a charity helped fund my foster (now adoptive) family's court battle, and a law change in the second year of it allowed them to win. I got lucky.

I see a lot of parallels between my own adoption and the adoptions in Flatland. People saying 'it's for the best', who don't realise that many adoptions take place because poor, mentally ill and young people can't take care of children because of lack of support and money. The scalene triangles in Flatland could have raised the equilateral merchant class, given enough resources and better schooling. Just like how A square is able to Tutor his grandson Hex - a lawyer teaching someone of a higher class skills he himself does not necessarily need to know.

I can't help but think about how those trinkets didn't stay with the foundlings who lived in that house. How I almost threw my candle away. The triangles have the physical reminder of their shape, and yet still, they are told they are different. They are regular, not like those other triangles, "you're one of us, you always have been", a square father might say to his new son. "We deserve to have you". And then, when the triangle grows up, and his wife (who's own father was a square) gives birth to an irregular triangle, the filth of that triangle's DNA is shown once again, despite the outward appearence of regularity. That's what my own adoption feels like. I always waited to be revealed for the imposter that I was. But I wonder if in a way that feels cathartic for them - like the immense relief I felt when my adoptive mother saved my candle from the trash. It's proof that your adoption exists, that you exist as a complex, multifaceted shape.

I wonder if the pressure of being regular was removed from that man's shoulders when his son was not born a square, but a triangle. Maybe his wife divorced him and he remarries within his original class - a safer, more understand place. Is that a happy ending? Is there a happy ending for adoptees? I never used to think there was. I used to think my life would end soon. Not today but tomorrow, or other similar things I'd tell myself. "I'd be content if I died today" would be said often by the regular triangle.

I wanted to be a hexagon when I thought about what shape I'd be. But no, the humble equilateral triangle is for me. He was not born a girl like I was. But perhaps they're also non binary like me.

Noone is born thinking they are tainted. You're taught that by other people. The regular triangle is told to their face they are normal, and nothing is wrong, that their adoption never affected them. When the regular triangle realised they're trans and autistic, and had that validated, that's when they felt like a real shape. Not a doll. Not an object. I still feel tainted sometimes. It's hard not to when society teaches you your DNA is wrong. And sadly, I think that's a feeling so so many of us feel - adoptees and non adoptees alike.

Your DNA is not wrong. That's a lie. It's a dangerous lie that permeates modern society, not out in the open but under covers. Every time someone says 'it's not the same' in regards to adoption, it's a perpetuation of that lie.

If your feelings are that adoption as lesser, you need to seriously examine your mindset. Because it's a mindset that holds DNA as sacred, as important. And having that mindset is something that easily divides us as a people - it's giving an inch. What's important is who we are, our life experiences, the things that make us different from each other and the points in our lives that shape us. Society shapes us. Racism and patriarchy and homophobia and ableism - these negatives do shape us. DNA has a place in who we are too, but my point is that there's so much more to it than that. The friends we discover, the things we learn, growing as people, the beauty in the world.

And I had to learn that the hard way, because the only thing that society teaches adoptees is that they're replacements. Second best. Whatever other words you have for 'btech birth kid'. Just know, any fellow adoptees, that none of that is true.

I'm happy to answer questions, because I doubt my point is coming across as well as I wanted. The triangles have got me feeling sad, and I haven't even researched phrenology yet. To clarify all my points, adoption feels sucky, racism is awful, you are more than just what society tells you you are, I am the triangle (apart from all the marriage stuff - replace that part with learning I'm trans and autistic, it serves the same purpose in my narrative).

[harrowclare]

PLEASE HELP US HELP OUR FRIEND'S FAMILY

URGENT IMMEDIATE NEEDS:

Siraj and her family need $500 to secure a truck in order to move herself, her disable husband, and her 5 children to a safer location.

In addition to this, she needs new shoes, and one of her sons needs access to emergency medical supplies, including colostomy bags. Long-term, they need food, water, and enough money to relocate permanently.

MORE INFO & BACKGROUND:

Siraj and her family are currently in Nuseirat, weighing their options. it is difficult to relocate with so many kids and an adult with a disability, and they have already had to do it twelve times. we are hoping to ease their troubles by helping them get access to a truck, as mentioned above.

Siraj keeps us posted, and despite everything her spirits are high. she was excited to let us know that she used some of the funds to buy an avocado as a treat. please, if you have anything to spare, help us help our friend's family. a reblog also goes a long way.

for updates on how the fund is going, and news from Siraj and her family, Beth, who runs the gfm, posts on instagram, and you can follow her here.

from the gfm page:

Siraj is a 32 year old mother of 5 children. Siraj met her husband Mohammad and married him in 2010 while she was attending Al Asqa university in Gaza, where she graduated in 2012 with a degree in public and media relations. She and Mohammed opened their own business, a clothing store, and worked very hard to provide for their family. They had a successful business and a beautiful home they shared with Mohammed’s family as well. When they first started their business it was an online store, but they were in the process of opening a physical storefront last fall. When their home was destroyed in October they also lost all of the merchandise they had purchased to open their store. Their home was in Nuseirat in Gaza City. The family was at home on the 17th of October when their home was hit. The entire family was trapped and injured in this event. Mohammed suffered an injury to his foot and has been disabled ever since. The parents also had to go through the horror of digging their babies out from the rubble and trying to get their injuries treated. After they lost their home in October, they have been displaced and ordered to move 12 different times. You can imagine the physical and emotional toll this must take on someone. This family currently lives in a tent somewhere southeast of the city. They do not have the means to move again should they be ordered to at this time. The long term goal for this family is medical evacuation for the child Eyad, as he is suffering the most. Realistically medical care for the entire family is needed.

LEARN ABOUT THE CHILDREN UNDER THE READ MORE CUT!

Their oldest children are twins Maya & Yazan who are 11. Siraj has told me that Yazan had dreams of being in the Olympics and mom said he competed in swimming and martial arts and horseback riding. Maya is a gifted artist who misses her school and classmates. Their second son is Eyad who is 7. Eyad is special because he requires medical supplies that aren’t available to the family right now; a colostomy bag, which the family is forced to improvise for him, as none are available. Having a need like this go unmet will cause more issues for Eyad in coming days and his parents are distraught that they can’t care for him. He could suffer from skin breakdown from having his waste touch his skin without these supplies. Part of the funds we raise will be saved for future medical supplies. Siraj will keep some funds on hand to purchase things for Eyad when they are available. Next is Ibrahem, who is only 3 years old. Ibrahem is a toddler who should be at the playground or the chalet with his cousins and instead has to make due at camp. Baby Ahmed just turned one in July. He has spent more of his life dodging bullets than he has got to spend feeling safe with his family. The last reported costs at Rafah crossing to Egypt were $5000 -$7000 per person. All funds are going directly to this family. Funds that are withdrawn now will be used to purchase needed items like food or repairs for their tent. Any withdrawn funds that are left will be saved to purchase future supplies when they are available and for future living expenses. It is our intention that the children will continue to benefit from this fund should something happen to their parents.

photos are from "before".

this campaign is run by one of Siraj's family members who lives in the US, with the help of one of my best friends, who is assisting with writing in English and posting to social media. my friend and Siraj have been getting to know one another over the past couple of months, and we have all come to view her as a friend. for her birthday, we all sent her a video wishing her a happy birthday, and she was delighted to see the faces of people on the otheer side of the world who care about her. this is very personal to me. please please help if you can.

[unnervinglyferal]

Im back after being busy for fuck knows how long doing stuff.

Im glad to see the new baby is doing fine!! I remember Stinkbug everytime the baby my mother is babysitting comes over. I get the good ol baby fever and gotta remind myself that neither Di or I are prepared for that sort of thing the way we wish it to work out. Gotta keep myself on birth control.

Speaking of all matters reproductive and hormonal, some days ago I had to take care of Di because once again I've discovered that you can get yourself the symptoms of a light brain concussion by fucking (and/or cumming) too hard when youre fatigued. My poor boyfriend laid there with a migraine after vomiting. Had me worried out of my mind but once we had a nap, took a painkiller, ate some pasta, drank some water and got some fresh air, he was a bit better.

His knees still hurt tho. And my back in unbearable. Remember my thing about doing questionable stuff in the shower?? Yeah, didnt learn the first time. Little miss broken shins went and actually screwed someone on the shower this time. Or rather, I got screwed in a shower and my back fucking haaaaated it.

Also completely unrelated but I think I had forgotten to tell you Di had his own "reverse Feral", as in, far (brazilian but lives in Dutchland) foreign internet best friend that goes on his own main character misadventures, and asks him advice instead of giving it. His name is Upbeat and he also has that dry, aware, deadpan, silly and likeble vibe, although he probably also thinks he's terrible, ugly and unlikeable although you guys are not. I think you guys would get along. And he also is into dominant fat girls.

I know I should tell you to not do that again, but the two of you actually managing to fuck each other to death or at least injury is actually kind of impressive. But do not do that again.

Also yeah I can't tell you enough, do not have a baby yet. I'm not even being a hypocrite about it, we too would be so fucking fucked if it weren't for the finnish welfare/healthcare/social service systems. The finnish system works to ensure that nobody ends up homeless unless they specifically go out of their way to do so, not because they care but because that's cheaper for the state than having a homeless problem. My medications and disability support come through welfare, the old family matriarch is on state pension, maternity care and child support come from the system. With the famous "baby box" thing you can choose between the baby goods or a specific sum of money, and we're applying for the money this time because Stinkbug's newborn clothes are still perfectly good.

Needing the baby support funds for grocery money, and having our second child wearing hand-me-downs from the day she's born (we still don't know the sex but I'm hoping for another girl) is about as rough as life in Finland gets, if you don't go out of your way to fuck your life up. We couldn't do this anywhere else.

Also don't fuck your lover to death. And don't fuck in the shower, that's not good for you.

[secret-engima]

Konoha’s orphan system

BACK AT IT AGAIN BOISSSSSSS. So a few people expressed interest in hearing me ramble about my HCs for Konoha’s orphan welfare system (aka more reasons to hate Sarutobi Hiruzen), so I GUESS I’M DOING THAT. Before we get into this, just know these are 100% HCs that only acknowledge canon long enough to kick it in the nuts. I *did* try to make it reasonably canon compliant so that it could work for multiple aus (yes ppl can use these HCs in their fics if they want, just credit me pls :)) but canon is barely compliant with itself so…

With that out of the way. ONWARD.

The Konoha Orphan Welfare System was established by Tobirama sometime before the First Shinobi War, likely around the time there was a population boom of civilian inhabitants that were not tied to any shinobi clans. Now shinobi clans all have their own system for caring for in-clan orphans (some better, some worse), but the civilians, and specifically the rising population of civilian born shinobi … didn’t have that. If the parents died and there either wasn’t any close family to take them in or the close family that remained were somehow unable/unsuitable for it, then you had kids on the streets and that is both against the literal reason for Konoha’s founding and also a security hazard, so Tobirama set up the orphan system in a way that could be expanded upon as the population required going forward.

The first layer of the system are the Konoha orphanages. While there was likely only one or two to start with in Konoha’s early days, by now there have to be more. Depending on where you estimate Konoha’s total population sits (I have been informed that canon references like- 80k exactly once?? But I don’t remember and I cannot find it on the wiki so *yeets*) I’m going to spitball and say there is somewhere around 10 large orphanages in Naruto’s time. That is probably nowhere near enough orphanages but in CANON we have Literally One so baby step improvements people.

Now, when a child of civilian or shinobi parents is orphaned, there’s a call put out in Konoha (and *only* Konoha, again, ninja security concerns) for relatives who can come take the child. If no one steps forward in a week’s time, then the child is put into the orphanage system. During wartime, this layer of the system tends to get overcrowded for … obvious reasons, especially with refugee children like Kabuto being shuffled into the orphanages alongside born Konohans. Any child from infancy to age 6 (academy starting age) lives in these orphanages under the care of the Matrons who run it, some of whom are civilians, but a good portion are actually retired shinobi (male and female, similar to nurse, the term is gender neutral in this context), I will come back to that in a hot second. Now, during wartime, again, this system can get backed up and so you’ll have kids above the age of 6 still living there as was the case with canon Kabuto. But when *not* clogged by a refugee/orphan influx, the next stage of the system are the Orphan Apartments.

At the age of 6 (or when there are openings during overcrowded times), kids are sat down by the Matrons and given the choice to join the Ninja Academy or not. Obviously since this is a shinobi village they are encouraged to take that route, but they are actually allowed other options, and kids who have things like physical disabilities are sometimes encouraged to stay out of Academy instead. Whether they are in Academy or not, they are then moved out of the orphanage they live in and moved into the Orphan Apartments.

Orphan Apartments are multistory buildings funded by Konoha and consist of a base floor with a common kitchen, common washroom for clothes, and storage room for extra blankets/bedding/etc. The floors above that are small, one room apartments, 11 per floor, as well as a group shower room (the apartments have water closets). 10 of these are given to the kids, one per apartment (barring twins/triplets/etc, who share an apartment), and the 11th belongs to the Floor Caretaker. The Floor Caretakers are all retired shinobi who have some reason for no longer being able to take missions, either ones who willingly chose to retire (rare) or ones who have lost limbs or suffered some other kind of disability and are no longer considered fit to serve on missions above a D-rank.

The Floor Caretakers are in charge of making sure the 10 kids on their floor are fed and healthy, as well as teaching them basic life skills like budgeting their orphan allowance, how to safely use appliances like washers/dryers, how to cook basic healthy meals, etc. They also help them with schoolwork if necessary and crucially, for the Academy students, teach them additional chakra exercises, weapon basics and other skills that the clan children would already have been taught, in order to help ensure the orphans aren’t all left in the dust by their counterparts. For Academy students living in the Orphan Apartments, they will be there until they graduate, at which point they will be moved to a genin apartment complex (there are lots of apartment complexes that cater to a specific rank of shinobi, with each rank having a set rent based on the average “a shinobi of this rank should be able to make at *least* enough to handle this on top of food” income. Of course, if an orphan is adopted pre-graduation, they will move instead into the home of their new family, freeing up the apartment for another orphan out of the orphanage.

Speaking of ADOPTION.

Any child in the orphanage or orphan apartments is up for adoption, obviously, but most adoptions don’t happen until a kid moves into the orphan apartments and has been added to either the Academy track or not. The Floor Caretakers compile regular reports on each kid on their floor to show to interested (and vetted) potential parents. Many clans choose to add new blood via adoption of a promising orphan rather than relying on marriage (though it is likely if the orphan marries later it will be to someone who has the clan blood), and will send discreet shinobi members to observe (spy) on the prospective kids for a second opinion rather than solely rely on the Floor Caretakers’ reports.

Children who are not on the Academy track tend to get adopted out more often than their shinobi counterparts, this is because children who are not going to Academy are instead encouraged to become an apprentice of one of the many professions keeping Konoha running. Adults who take an orphaned apprentice also become their legal guardian in the eyes of Konoha, until they have achieved mastery or reached the age of 17, whichever comes first, and are required to be able to adequately house, clothe, and feed any apprentice they seek to take before they are allowed to adopt/apprentice them.

Shinobi clans will often keep a close eye on non-Academy orphans as much if not more than Academy orphans, as each clan does have civilian specialties to pass on and enough shared resources to enable the adoption fairly easily. Apprenticed orphans are expected to work to pay off their “debt” to Konoha for 5 years, during which up to a third of any income they make will be taxed to Konoha. As apprentices *are* paid during the latter half of their apprenticeship, it’s usually expected that the apprentice will still be living with and at least partially provided for by their guardian/master during those years of service and so aren’t at risk of being taxed right out of house and home or anything. The point is to make more artisans and masters of needed crafts, not create a homeless population that poses a security risk remember.

Orphans who are either Academy students or apprentices can also be Sponsored. A sponsor is different from a formal adoption, and adopted orphans don’t lose their Sponsor if they are adopted down the line. Sponsors are … well basically anyone who has good standing in Konoha and at least *some* money to back it up. These can be retired jounin, retired *ANBU*, civilians who’s family have been in Konoha for at least 3 generations, or businesses who have been in Konoha for more than twenty years (and also aren’t owned by a new resident to Konoha, again, paranoid ninja security reasons). Sponsors can only sponsor up to three orphans at a time. A Sponsor will provide additional funds for clothing, equipment of the orphan’s intended profession (shinobi tools/protective mesh for Academy students, tools for any apprentices of a certain profession), as well as additional learning opportunities.

To use an Academy student for an example, a sponsored Academy orphan will be able to petition their Sponsor for money to pay for better equipment, and if they take an interest in a specific skillset, the Sponsor will use their influence to help procure additional training or mentorship in that skillset. An Academy orphan with a sponsor who takes an interest in becoming a kenjutsu practitioner, for example, won’t have to wait and hope their future genin sensei is proficient in a sword. Instead they can petition their Sponsor, who can then use either money or connections to secure a teacher in kenjutsu. Sponsors, in turn, can expect something in return once the Academy student graduates. For civilian Sponsors this is *usually* just being given priority by that shinobi for any missions they put forth in the future (or a discount for services rendered if the orphan is a civilian apprentice instead of a shinobi). Business establishments also get discounts or priority treatment from the orphans they sponsor. Some businesses that employ shinobi on the regular as security intentionally Sponsor orphans who only want to become career genin or chuunin, since those are far more willing to take “boring” long term jobs than a shinobi looking to climb the ranks and become a jounin (and are less likely to be pulled and sent off on a risky A or S-rank down the line).

Jounin who are retired also use this system as a roundabout way of passing on their skillset or encouraging talented young shinobi without having to worry about actually adopting a kid. ANBU agents in particular don’t necessarily have time or the mental balance to adopt a kid, but if an orphan catches their eye, they can Sponsor them to help them get the resources to excel, whether or not that kid ever grows up to join ANBU.

Okay so. With all that- mostly covered and hopefully I’m not forgetting any gaping holes in my worldbuilding, you might be wondering “how does Naruto’s and Sasuke’s horrible childhoods fit into this???” To which I say:

Shimura Danzo and Sarutobi Hiruzen.

Remember that bit I said earlier? That *all* orphans in the orphanage and orphan apartments are up for adoption so long as they live there? Remember how I also mentioned that *clans* usually have their own in-clan system for dealing with clan orphans and so those don’t get put in Konoha’s system? Welllll.

To start with Naruto: Naruto by rights *should* have never entered the orphan system, since he has a godfather (Jiraiya) and presumably a godmother (I do not know if it’s *canon*, but the fanon I see everywhere is Mikoto, which makes sense considering she was canonically good friends with Kushina). But Jiraiya is a (horrible no good waste of space) spymaster who lives on the road and Mikoto is an Uchiha, which Danzo has been subverting for years and in fact was still subverting *while* the Kyuubi was rampaging everywhere. Iirc he’s the one who ordered the Uchiha to not engage and instead stay back and guard the civilian bunkers, which led to a lot of rumors (that he also started) about the Uchiha’s “suspicious” involvement in the Kyuubi attack. Hiruzen is a pushover when it comes to his old “friends”, we see this in canon, and especially to Danzo, so it’s no wonder why Mikoto was never allowed to claim custody of Naruto even if you fanon that she was his godmother and had a legal right to him.

So what about the other clans? Minato was incredibly popular and beloved, the other clans by rights should have been fully willing to take Naruto in, even with the whole- Kyuubi Jinchuuriki business. But then you have to consider the Politics™ of the situation. Jinchuuriki are considered less people and more living nuke repositories. We see this all over canon, in literally every village. If a Jinchuuriki’s identity is known, they are shunned and feared. So handing Naruto over to another clan would not, politically, have been seen as giving a child into the custody of someone who can raise him, but rather handing *one* clan the keys to immense power that the other clans wouldn’t be able to fight against. Massive power imbalance. Which Hiruzen wouldn’t want in the wake of the Kyuubi attack and then like 3 years later the Hyuuga Incident, and Danzo certainly wouldn’t want because he’s a paranoid old coot who thinks that the only person who can be trusted with ultimate power is himself. So Naruto is, politically, kind of impossible to adopt without majorly upsetting the power balance of the clans.

So. If we want to be *generous* and assume Hiruzen didn’t default directly to sticking Naruto in a shoddy apartment on his own when he was a literal infant, what he probably did was try to loophole his way out of the situation by not revealing Naruto’s parentage to anyone if he could help it and submitting Naruto into the orphan system during the high influx of post-kyuubi orphans in the hopes that Naruto would skate through unnoticed until Hiruzen could either arrange for a civilian family to adopt him or just hope that Naruto can slide by unnoticed in the system until he’s a genin and leaves the orphanage/orphan apartments.

Cue red-eyed t-posing Danzo meme. Because of course Danzo wouldn’t want a “weapon” like Naruto to fall into the hands of cushy civilians. Danzo is at fault for the entire campaign to smear and isolate and then kill an entire founding clan of Konoha, spreading the rumors that Naruto is actually the Kyuubi in human form or other such things is absolutely within his preferred method of isolating perceived problems. So Danzo has a few key people leak Naruto’s existence as Not A Normal Child throughout the village, causing a grieving, traumatized village to pick him as their scapegoat of choice, which meant Naruto would never be adopted by civilians. Because the civilians would either hate him or be too afraid of the reprisal of their neighbors if they went near him. With the civilian option shredded, and also the anonymity that could have let him skate through the orphan apartments unadopted until his genin years also destroyed, Hiruzen’s options are then “have this child raised outside the system entirely” or “give the child to Danzo and Root” and Hiruzen at least had the braincells to realize giving his old friend who has tried to murder him in the past a *whole entire Jinchuuriki* was a terrible idea. So into a slummy apartment all on his own the toddler goes. As for why it was a slummy apartment and not being raised by Hiruzen himself?

*Points back to the clan power imbalance thing*, *points at Hiruzen being a pushover doormat who let Kumo behead a HYUUGA TWIN BROTHER OF THE CLAN  HEAD to avoid conflict*.

As for Sasuke, very similar deal. Konoha’s system was never set up with the total annihilation of a clan in one fell swoop in mind. A mass genocide like that was just- never meant to happen. Sure clans can dwindle and die out during wartime (see- the Hatake clan), but that was not an instant process, there is supposed to be time for a dwindling clan to see the worst coming and prepare for it, make arrangements for what they want to happen to any orphaned kids if the clan adults all die out. Sasuke didn’t have that, and the Uchiha *had* no system in place. Arguably if they had a system for such a catastrophe in mind it likely would have been an agreement between them and the Senju, that either clan would take on the orphans of the other if the worst should happen. But by that point the Senju clan is just Tsunade, who has already run for the hills years ago.

Once again, Sasuke got treated less as a child in need of help and more as a political piece that no one could claim without causing a riot among the other clans for the imbalance. Now I’ve seen different fanon on if Sasuke grew up in the empty clan compound or had an apartment in Konoha, and canon has … literally *both* interpretation depending on *what flashback episode you are watching* so either Sasuke got taken out of the compound and moved into a genin apartment that Hiruzen paid for out of guild (not orphan apartments because again, anyone in there is available for adoption by legal default), or Sasuke just had to suck in up and live with ghosts for 6 years, which did his head NO FAVORS.

ADD TO THIS is Danzo again, who categorically would not want Sasuke to get help of any kind. Because Sasuke is a loose thread that he can’t take care of himself. Canonically, before Itachi leaves after the clan is dead, Itachi goes to Danzo and says something like “you do anything to Sasuke and I will come for your head and air all of your dirty laundry to Konoha on my way in”. If Danzo is seen taking Sasuke into ROOT, or killing him, or harming him, then Itachi will come for him. But if Sasuke is just … benignly neglected by Konoha as a whole to the point of death or defection … well that’s not his fault. His hands are tied.

I could *also* at this point go on a long ramble of my personal hcs that it’s REALLY INTERESTING that Shippudden introduces the glorified radar seal keeping track of any intrusion into Konoha and yet Orochimaru (who has worked with Danzo before to commit inconvenient warcrimes) and Sound Four (who work for Orochimaru) managed to get in multiple times specifically to try to kidnap and subvert Sasuke (thereby taking him out of Konoha without Danzo being to blame and making it far more likely he will be killed by a third party and thus is no longer a loose thread in Danzo’s machinations). And yes I know it’s actually just an example of Kishi’s swiss cheese worldbuilding but I just went on a 3k rant about an orphan system I made up wholesale to deal with those holes SO. But I think I’ve rambled enough for one post so I will leave that there.

[thebiscuiteternal]

The entire story is brutal and worth reading, but I want to point out some of the fact points interspersed in the second part, because they highlight just how fucking little the assholes who built this post-Roe-reversal system care.

Research indicates access to paid family leave is linked to a decrease in infant deaths and better economic, physical and mental health for new parents. Currently, 13 states have some form of paid parental leave to care for newborns. No states that banned abortion offer paid parental leave.

In 2019, nearly half of Tennesseans lived in a child care desert, an area that has three times as many children as licensed child care slots. In Mayron’s city, Clarksville, more than 3,000 children in 2023 qualified for government assistance for child care, but 941 were unable to access it. Between 2011 and 2020, 13 bills aimed at alleviating child care burdens were proposed in the Tennessee legislature. All of them failed.

In Tennessee, a family of four making less than $39,000 a year should be eligible for food stamps if their current bank balance is under $3,001 and they share their household with a person over 60 or with a disability. Tennessee’s child poverty rate ranks among the worst in the nation, in part, because families who qualify for government help aren’t getting it. About 1 in 10 families eligible for food stamps aren’t receiving them. According to researchers, the program requirements are too punitive and complicated, leaving such families shut out. In 2019, the state was holding nearly $800 million in unspent federal funding designated for temporary assistance to needy families. Since then, monthly benefits for eligible Tennesseeans have barely risen, from $277 to $387 in 2021. That ranks among the lowest in the nation for temporary cash assistance.

[gryficowa]

Something irritates me about the fact that I don't earn money and I don't have a bank account (Because without earning money, opening an account doesn't work… Yes, I found out the hard way, it's also depressing that many fundraisers barely reach the middle, let alone the very end)

I have a second degree of disability, so getting a job is almost impossible, I know, it also annoys me that PLN is often not as high as, for example, Euro or dollars, which makes it difficult to pay collections with this type of currencies, but yes, it may be possible to work around it somehow , unfortunately, I can't donate to the collections, that's why I'm sharing them, because that's all I can do (Besides boycotting and sharing information)

I also have a problem with describing so that more people can reach the collections (That's why I started doing SS and such, or writing short sentences), because unfortunately, ASD and social phobia took their toll (And trauma… You know, I was a strong victim of Internet criticism , to put it mildly, the same in real life)

So I'm sorry if my writing description for collections (Link) seems like I don't care, I care a lot, which makes my mind go blank, it's easier for me to reblog collections than to share them, but I can't always do it do it, because not every person has a collection on the blog and then I have to paste the link to the collection, but also write something and then this happens, my mind goes blank, I know, it seems like such a trivial problem and it is, but it can be annoying when you want to help, I can't describe this problem (Because I can't describe my feelings in many moments) , so not only can't I donate to fundraisers, but my mind does it, and if I succeed, I still have this in the back of my mind: Will it turn out that I don't care? Is that enough? Did I describe it correctly?

It's times like these that ASD and social anxiety disorder are at their worst

And no, I don't have a pension, they didn't give it to me because they thought I was too disabled, so yes, I have a second degree of disability and I can't work (Or only under certain conditions, or in short, nowhere, because there are no such conditions) , but I don't get a pension, and I'm not likely to make money on YT (Especially when it belongs to Google, and when you reach the threshold, Google will also start earning money)

I don't plan to draw on commission either, because I don't think I'm at the level to do it yet

So yes, no matter how much I want to, I can't donate to fundraisers

I still live with my mother because, mind you, I don't earn any money, so I don't even have my own apartment (And apartments in my city have sky-high prices)

I have money in my wallet because I collect it, or someone gives it to me, and even then it's not much and I can't send real money for collections that mainly use bank cards, and for that you need a bank account

So no matter how much I would like to, I can't help in this way, I can share (Although, as I mentioned, my mind is mocking me) and reblog fundraisers, and also reblog information, but I don't have the option to donate to them

If I could, I would send most or all of the amount, but I can't

I saw how the collections are slowly coming, it is most visible with many Palestinians, but also with Sudan and Congo (with the third one the most)

The fact that people have to wait so long for the collection to end is terrifying, many of them are from March or even earlier, and they are still far from reaching the end of the collection itself

I remember one of the collections with a father who had a small child and a pregnant wife, later I saw this child already burnt (And a photo from this collection, when it was still alive, it was a baby), the thought that these people might not survive the end of the collection, or their families themselves is heartbreaking

I remember father sending this collection many times with this baby in the photo, that's why I recognized that it was the same baby, the fact that many people might not have survived to the end of the collection (including children) is terrifying, and I can't do anything about it to do, because I don't make money and I can only share collections, which are barely moving forward anyway

There are so many collections that have barely moved forward for months, and scammers who want to take advantage of it all don't help

Share collections, even if you have no money and don't earn anything, they should reach people who can help, because many people don't even know they exist

[thefutureisus2020]

Top 12 Melissa Schemmenti x Reader Headcanons

1. She won’t admit this but she fell in love with you the moment she saw you. It was your very first day as the new Librarian at Abbotts.

1.2 She does feel guilty about how standoffish she was to you for the first few months before you brought in your Nonnas homemade ziti.

2. The second time she realised she’d developed a crush on you was when she walked into the hallway and saw you comforting a young child with a disability who was being bullied but two classmates and sadly their mothers. It took both Barbara and Mr. Johnson to stop you from going over and smacking the mothers

3. Your smile is her favourite thing about you. She knows somethings wrong when you don’t smile or you give someone that fake smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

4. The sound of your voice soothes her. She loves being about to curl up next to either on the couch or in bed and simply listen to you read from whatever novel you have on the go.

5. She respects your boundaries, particularly when it comes to PDA. It does take all her will power not to hunt down your ex who treated you badly

6. The smell of your shampoo is something she never gets sick of. It always lingers on your pillow, which is a great comfort when you’re not able to spend the night.

7.Meeting your family is the only thing that scares her. She’s heard stories from your friends about how your 5 younger brothers are protective of you. She doesn’t blame them one bit, you helped raised them after your mom ran off.

8. Her favourite family member of yours is your nieces. They latch onto you as soon as the two of you walk into your fathers house. The two young girls remind her of you and looking at photos of you at the same age it makes her long to have a baby that looks just like you.

8.She’s counted everyone of your freckles and loves every one of them. Particularly the one on your lower back that when kissed makes you moan.

9.When she’s had a long or stressful day at work she knows she can count on you to make her feel better. Particularly when you’ve made fresh chocolate cupcakes with dark chocolate and raspberry icing

10. When you meet her family for the first time she’s beyond scared because they weren’t fans of Joe or Gary or even a woman named Sarah who you refuse to admit exists. But your fears are put to rest when everyone instantly loves you. You find out when that your Nonna (fathers mother) grew up down the road from Nonna Schemmenti and they were friends for years before they lost contact.

11. When you explain to her that you can’t come over for date night because your youngest brother Simon calls you in tears after being dumped, her heart swells knowing how kind and gentle you are with him.

12. Melissa loves how much your brothers adore you but she does pount when they call you to complain about one of the other siblings, particularly when she’s on top of you sucking on your neck.

13. She tells you she loves you on the 3rd date. It slips out after you offer to make her the best Thai food she’ll ever taste.

14. The only time she’s cried in front of you was when you walked out of your bedroom wearing a beautiful floor length baby pink gown. You had agreed to be your twin brother Marcos bestwoman after he finally pops the question to his long suffering girlfriend.

15. After a 3 years together Melissa asks you to marry her and she’s overjoyed when you say yes

[hargrove-mayfields]

It’s Disabled Billy and Steve Week

Day 2- Family

My prompt: A family reunion with Billy

Quick content warning, there is discussion of child abuse against a baby and abusive head trauma.

-•-•-•-•-

“Watch out, big bump in the sand.” Argyle warns, in his signature slow drawl.

He’s pushing Billy in his wheelchair, across a beach, heading towards a reunion for Argyle's family, the first since the couple had moved back to California.

The Gaspar family isn’t the biggest, just Argyle's mom, her two sisters, and their kids, the oldest of which have a few babies of their own. It’s still a lot bigger than any family affair of Billy’s, but those became obsolete when Billy was still just a couple of months on this earth.

Everything fell apart around then, the family split into bitter chaos and hatred. See, back then Neil had done something that couldn’t be hidden or ignored. He shook Billy.

All it took was a few seconds, but to this day he’s never regained function of the right half of his body. It’s cerebral palsy, hemiplegic. Along with the paralysis he’s got to worry about seizures and a whole list of cognitive problems, memory loss the most prominent.

Billy’s mom is his full time carer. Now that Max and Will are all grown and leading educations of their own, Ima Joyce can stay home with Billy and help him do all the things he either can’t do anymore, or never learned how to.

Argyle is a big help too, always bringing over giant casserole dishes of food for Billy and his adoptive family, or lifting Billy into the bath. It’s sweet, and fills a void that his childhood had left.

Billy wants to repay some of that with the simple things, tasks he can manage- giving cuddles, trying his specialty pizzas, visiting his family. Still makes him nervous, to be faced with his boyfriend's entire family.

Argyle tells him that’s normal, that he’d been terrified the first time he sat around a table with Max, Jane, and his secondary caregiver, Murray, at the same time, but it seems different. Billy’s terrified of not just making a bad impression, he’s worried about something like having a seizure on the beach in front of Argyle's baby cousins.

And, at the moment, he’s scared of being dumped on his face into the sand because of these bumps Argyle is pushing him over.

“Told you the power chair would’ve been better.”

“I tried my best, dude. It died before I even got it to your room. Like, tires locked, beeping sounds kinda dead, man.” Argyle doesn’t even sound defensive, he just laughs about the absolute train wreck that was their morning.

“Just tell me this thing is close..” Billy keeps complaining, only to be reassured right away by Argyle.

“Right around the corner, blue sky. Just follow the smell of tia Evelyn’s carnitas.”

Another thing that Billy really enjoys doing with his boyfriend is exploring his culture. Argyle hadn’t really been too open about his Mexican roots, since when they met Billy was in the midst of a custody battle between Hargroves and Byers. He said it felt wrong to talk about family when Billy hadn’t really found his own yet.

Now that it’s been a few years, and things are a lot better, Argyle likes to share certain dishes and songs passed down by his family that Billy just loves. It’s his favorite part about living in California instead of Hawkins.

In the same way that Mrs Byers taught her boys to speak the language of their Tanakh, and Billy loves to listen, he loves to hear Argyle and his family speaking Spanish, although he can usually only mentally translate a few words or less.

Argyle's mom is the first to spot them now, calling as they make their slow approach to the perfect spot between the trees, where they’re all set up on a few picnic tables pushed close together, “¡Hola cariños! ¡Finalmente lo lograste y mira, trajiste a tu novio!”

Billy catches that she’s relieved they both made it, but that mostly comes from Argyle's next words, where he restates what she says. That’s they’re tactic, to make sure Billy is never left out.

“Yeah, we’re here mami. Me and my boyfriend. And not just that, but we brought my super delicious world famous brownies!” Argyle sounds excited.

His mom, however, does not. She puts her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrow, “¿Las normales, cariño?”

“Uh, Billy these are plain brownies.. right?” Argyle leans forward, looking at the tray of brownies Billy’s been steadying for him in his lap, a look of sudden worry on his face.

Now Billy’s just confused, but he goes along with it, answering, “Yeah? What else would they be?”

“Well…” Argyle looks sheepish, and Billy realizes just what other kinds of brownies Argyle would be making.

Howling with laughter, he exclaims, “Argyle, you did not!”

Bring pot brownies to a family gathering that is. But by the looks of it…

“It was a mistake, my guy! And uh, I ate the whole tray myself ‘fore anybody else could get messed up.” Argyle defends, face flushed a subtle but deep red, but somehow that just makes it worse.

Accidentally mixing up the trays is one thing, but eating all the evidence? Billy is stumped. Shocked. Almost in awe.

“How?”

Starting to regain a little humor about it, Argyle asks, “How what, sunshine?”

“How are you alive?” Billy clarifies, genuinely curious.

And then there’s another blow to every assumption Billy had made about life ever, in the form of Argyle proudly declaring, “Back in the day, I could eat two trays.”

All Billy can do is stare and look horrified, somewhat unsure if Argyle was joking or not. He’s too bad at social cues to distinguish.

But Argyle moves on, turning back to his mom to explain to her and promise that no, this is not a repeat of last time.

“Si, mami. Sin marihuana esta vez. Prometo.”

“Esto es un alivio. Quiero que te comportes lo mejor posible para tu novio hoy.” She seems to be satisfied with that answer, kissing Argyle's cheek and stepping aside so they can enter the imaginary boundary line of the party space.

Billy’s Spanish skills aren’t good enough to pick anything out this time, leaving him to wonder, “What did she say?”

Argyle shrugs, “Just something about making good impressions.”

That’s confusing. Billy’s actually a little worried he’d imagined last year's picnic while in a hospital fever dream or something. He doesn’t sound very confident as he says, “I’ve met your family though.”

Argyle tells the whole truth now, probably sensing Billy is getting stressed, “Right. She meant me though. That whole tray of hashies fucked me up pretty bad. Mama doesn't want me ruining the party in front of you.”

Billy is understanding, but also, he’s kind of surprised. He didn’t expect her to think Argyle was the problem.

After all, he’s not the one in a wheelchair, who can’t even hold a plate of food for himself, or sit through the whole family party without falling asleep. Maybe it’s leftover fear from being shoved around the house in an uncomfortable hospital lent wheelchair and never let out of the house by his biological family, but Billy is sort of used to being the one people don’t like.

For some reason, maybe because he hasn’t felt this way in a long time, Billy doesn’t hold back in expressing that.

“She’s scared about you ruining it. I’m scared about myself ruining it.”

Argyle shifts the dynamic from standing next to Billy, to crouching in front of him, a gesture that Billy only feels comfortable with when it’s someone he’s really close to. It brings them to an intimate space to talk about this problem neither of them really realized was a thing until now,

“Wait, what? You don’t got nothing to worry about, babes.”

Invited to talk about it, Billy spirals, “What if I get sick or somethin in the middle of everything and we have to go home, and everyone’s upset at me, and-“

“Baby. Mi angel. That’s not gonna happen.” Argyle declares passionately and confidently, holding the hand Billy has feeling in, “They love you. They’ll understand.”

Billy wants so badly to believe it, in spite of whatever irrational part of his brain flared up today, “Promise?”

“From the bottom of my heart, dude.” Argyle promises, impossibly romantic and heartfelt.

Feeling better, and ready to socialize in the way Argyle's family does best- food -Billy smiles, “Could you wheel me to the food table?”

“‘Atta boy!” Argyle kisses his hand, and stands back up to push Billy over. On his way, he calls, “Mami! Pass me a plate?”

“¿Qué dices, mijo?” His mother playfully purses her lips and waits for his answer to her demands about his manners.

“Por favor?” Argyle corrects himself.

The smile she wears is unmistakably full of love and joy for her boy, getting him a paper plate and waving him over, “Of course. Come, come.”

By the end of the day, Billy doesn’t even remember why he was worried. He leaves the beach full of love and good food, and with an invitation to the next one. The little cousins all loved him, one even crawling into his lap to play shark watcher with him.

They accepted him. All of him, abled or not. And one day, when he and Argyle decide they’re ready to take things to the next stage, these folks will be his family too, as William Reuben Ocean Byers-Gaspar.

~~~~~

Thanks for reading! It’s time for todays charity highlight!

This time I’ve chosen The Arc.

The Arc is a US based organization specifically designed to advocate for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Their board protects the civil rights of those with IDD and is working to break down the societal barriers that intellectually and developmentally disabled individuals face.

These include areas like criminal justice, healthcare, employment and education, and travel. The Arc works to provide resources directly to disabled folks so they may advocate for themselves, self-identify issues with language easy for them, access care, and feel safe and protected.

Most importantly, they work directly with disabled individuals to set their standards and align their goals with what disabled people actually want and need. This allows disabled members of their board and staff to be heard, not talked over or told what to do or say.

Fighting against inaccessibility and advocating for the legal and social rights of disabled people is something I’m really passionate about. The Arc is one of my favorite organizations and I’d appreciate if anyone would like to check them out.

So, if you’re interested in supporting The Arc, there are several ways. You can donate money, sign up for their news updates, share your story about programs in your life as a person with IDD, or access and utilize the resources on their site!

For more information or a place to donate (not required of course, I just want to give the option), click here for a link to the site.

[yellowstonewolves-main]

But also, aborting a disabled fetus is not like aborting a baby for being a Scorpio. It's usually an informed decision based on women asking themselves how much and what kind of domestic labor they're comfortable with doing and making decisions in hopes that they won't have to do more than that. I don't think it's substantially different than someone deciding to become a gen ed teacher instead of a special ed teacher, or a general babysitter versus a carer for a service that provides respite for kids with disabilities.

We think it is different for two reasons. First, we see abortion as an extreme option that needs special justification instead of as a value-neutral choice. Second, because we do not see domestic labor as real labor. A man marries his housekeeper and the country's GDP falls, and we as leftists lose sympathy for any frustrations she has with her labor conditions as a parent.

The domestic labor conditions for people with developmentally disabled children are inhumane really. Like, 24/7 physically hazardous lifelong labor in some cases. It's so reasonable to not want to do that. To want to have ample time to read and bathe and pursue hobbies. To want to go to the grocery store without it being a whole thing. To want to avoid being physically bitten or scratched, to want to avoid handling someone else's bodily fluids every day forever. To want the ability to retire. To want to avoid the traumatic emotional labor of supporting your child through medical emergencies and end-of-life care. Even for the people who can afford 24/7 caregiving coordinating that care is a huge stressful responsibility especially when half the professionals are insufficiently trained and experienced. If in order to believe that "Disabled people aren't a burden" you find yourself arguing that "Caregiving isn't real, difficult labor" then your respect for disabled people is based on pure fantasy.

It's so frustrating to see people who will straight up ADMIT that they could not last a day as a nurse or carer or CNA and turn around and judge people for not wanting or being able to do THAT SAME LABOR BUT ALL THE TIME FOREVER!

Oh but there's a chance they could end up in that position anyway? Really? Yeah you can say that about any reason people choose to get abortions! Oh you had an abortion because you didn't feel ready to have a baby when you were homeless and alone now you're financially stable and have a partner and want to have a kid? Ugh, you shouldn't conceive because you could lose all your money and your partner could die and you've proven you can't parent under those circumstances :(. This kind of family planning is not a referendum on your fitness for dealing with extreme circumstances, just on whether, if you had the option, you'd get an abortion in order to avoid them.

TLDR: If you would't bark at someone for choosing not to adopt a special needs kid but aborting a disabled fetus is eugenics to you you are not as pro choice as you think you are!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

for the nights and days of life by @mochalottie longass notes for chapter nineee:

-Beard! Jake is such a funny image. It’s long and flowing, maybe he braids it Omaticaya style.

-Baby Spider’s return!! God I missed him and Jake’s little lab bonding time. It's such a clear image in my head, same as their little hammock is to me. I always love when a scene is so tangible for me.

-Me and Jake holding hands and never forgetting what Tsantu did. We will never get over it and we will never forgive him.

-You’ve got metaphors on top of similes in this chapter, babe. How many ways to describe Jake’s eyes bingo. I'd cut some. I tend to go harsher with my edits for Andrei, but I've never done that for you so idk let me know if that's not your vibe! I think I had one person ask for harsher long notes and it's on my docket, but it was not you!

-HAHA Kiri and the other kids constantly reminding Jake about how cool every scar they have is while he goes into cardiac arrest.

-KSKSKKS Lo’ak is so LITTLE COMPARED TO THEM. HE’S ONLY TWO. HOW DID HE BECOME BABY? DID YOU DECIDE HE SHOULD BE BABY?? DO I JUST NOT UNDERSTAND THE PASSAGE OF TIME??

-I adore the Max and Norm cameo it is flawless, I hope they keep sending each other shit. I am unclear as to what they mean by can they use some of it. Do they mean as evidence against the RDA? That’s my best guess.

-Neteyam: yay what a great day to finally hang out alone with my best friend and brother!

Spider: let’s go into this scary area.

Neteyam: oh.

-Lol of course Spider found hIS MOMS dead body and ship because he is literally Eywa’s favorite and least favorite. He’s the main character. All the shit happens to him. You know that funny saying, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, that's Jake comforting Neytiri and Spider. "Eywa gives her toughest battles to her strongest soldiers."

-The fear of having a disabled child, or even just a chronically ill child balanced with letting them live their own lives? It’s such a great concept to explore in Spider, and I love Neytiri doing it. Jake was human, he’s used to them, but Neytiri would have never seen a kid break an arm or an ankle or dislocate a shoulder or anything like that. It's horrible and scary for any person to see happen to their kid, but yet you know the kid will be fine. For Neytiri there is none of that background knowledge and comfort. It’s such a painful but interesting concept I adore it every time I see it.

-I also like audibly cooed at her making Jake foods he likes all the time because she wants to make up for food on Earth being shit all the time. That is the sweetest thing I've ever read gOD I love jeytiri.

-Jake snorting himself awake has me dEAD, simply cACKING, but also it’s so sweet because you kNOW his ass never slept deeply after the war, or before on Earth. He only sleeps deeply in the cuddle pile and I’ll cry. Him and Neteyam both, Neteyam will wake up at the slightest sound uNLESS he's in the family cuddle pile.

-Neteyam and Spider are the twins that came to literally like, stab Jake in the heart occasionally by reminding him of Tommy. You kNOW sometimes they cuddle or run off together and he can’t breathe for a second because they look like two different kids of a different species.

-You fucked up, potter is the british version of putter. I’m laughing when the British or Irish slang slips in. I only mention it because of your authors note saying you were trying to catch them all lol.

-Oh my god Neytiri going to say goodbye and reassure Paz that she has Spider taken care of? That has my entire heart and soul.

-Hilarious of Neytiri to specifically call human technology stupid names. That’s so funny. She’s like “Jake, someone is calling you on the stupid dumbass square.”

-Jake and Neytiri now must keep up the ruse of science being a swear for years to come. Norm says science on a call one time and they all gASP and cover Spider's ears.

-Norm and Max better come back with the RDA, like they sneak aboard and come to apologize to Jake and fuck shit up in person. I know that isn't the point but I miss them deeply.

-Neytiri at all times just lowkey at defcon 1 just like, always on the fucking razors edge. She is so full of unhealed and unchecked trauma and PTSD it's almost hilarious.