#and because my parents were more affectionate and emotionally available than my dads family and parents

[knight-engale]

"you're not traumatized by being raised by parents who were way too young and were raised in shitty families themselves and who never taught you emotional intelligence and isolated you from pretty much all of your non churchgoing peers, you're just a little silly! and you cry whenever you notice any sort of shift in the way someone speaks to you and take it as a personal rejection, whether or not it was intentional, but that's unrelated"

[dizzybevvie]

Politely asks if you have any OCs, and if you want to show off their designs or ramble about them if so?

Hello anon i am about to present to you some of the most boring motherfuckers youve ever laid your eyes on.

OK SO.

In late january 2 years ago, me and my good friend Raya (@ randomstuffifindinteresting) were makin stupid unfunny jokes about the stereotype of the hypermasculine homophobic dudes with so much internalised homophobia. Thus, Chad, Brad and Jake were born.

I dont draw them seriously very often, its mostly meme redraws, but theyre very basic looking people and dont have a hell of a lot going on with their outfits anyway. you can see a majority of the memes and stuff at (@oh-em-gee-oh-sees) but theyre a little old.

[Chad, Brad, Jake(theres no yellow); and their good friends Vivere and Mori]

So Brad is kind of the favourite because both me and Raya want to smooch him LMAO. Hes 6'1, a lil chubby, got big ol tits and one of them big ol curved noses. Personality wise, he's more reserved than anyone else in the group and likes to listen more than he likes to contribute. He doesn't feel like he has many hobbies or interests because he just moves through life. He likes to be an observer. He is BIG into music though. I guess you could say its his special interest, but he certainly doesn't know that. He particularly likes women's pop music kind of as a comfort thing? Growing up, it was just him and his mom so he finds it calming. He doesn't bring it up very often though. Whenever he's zoned out at the kitchen counters you can imagine he's thinking about it. He also likes baking, but he doesnt do it enough to consider it a hobby.He's also pretty sensitive but struggles to be emotionally available. His love language is acts of service and quality time. He's for sure autistic but I dont know if he knows that lmao. He likes bracelets, especially beaded ones with coloured string inbetween because he likes to pick at them during the day. He has some weird aunts and uncles that pop up time to time, usually with no idea that he cut off the rest of his family for reasons I won't get into. They're all eccentric, but they're all very sweet.

Chad is Brad's husband and possibly the only functioning member of the group. Hes the only one who can carry a conversation outside of them, be it a starbucks employee or their upstairs neighbours. But hes also fuckin angry all of the time. It doesnt take a lot of teasing to piss him off and when he does he gets this very slight southern accent on some of his words, which only insights more teasing. Mostly from Jake. He fucking HATES Jake (affectionate). He is actively working on it though, and he has gotten a better at controlling it. He's banned from the kitchen and has been since about a month after the three dudes moved into their apartment. Safe to say, Brad does most of the cooking. Chad's definitely the strongest of the group, which is absolutely definitely not overcompensation for his height and how inferior it makes him feel. Like, realistically he knows its stupid to be that hung up on it, and no one actually cares, but his parents were VERY strong on gender roles and it stuck with him. If his dad, who would take him outside to chop wood and thats it found out he grew up to be 5'4? Chad doesn't like to think about it. His parents do know though. They're the only ones in contact with any of them, and noone is thrilled about it. Every six months or so, they'll travel up north to see their son and ask him all the typical questions. Do you have a girlfriend, whenre you getting married, etc. Not out of ignorance either, they know he's married and they often do it while his husband is in the room. His dad will often make snide remarks about his physicality disguised as jokes, too. And although Chad gets furious at them every single time, he's the best at not blowing up when its them. He'll squeeze Brad's hand whenever something happens, but thats about it. Until they leave and he has to lay down from how exhausted he is. He only lets them stay because a part of him wants to believe they'll accept him. And they dont even know about Jake. He goes to stay at the girl's apartment while theyre over. Chad's discomfort in femininity certainly doesn't last long, though, because he's the type of person who runs STRAIGHT at what he's afraid of swinging wildly. He started wearing dresses and such, and a few weeks later started doing small-scale performances in restaurants and local theaters, for which Vivere was the ultimate hypeman. He probably wouldn't wear a dress without an occasion, but hes comfortable enough to do so now.

Jake is a fucking. loudmouth. Everythings a game to him. He likes to poke at people (metaphorically and literally) to see where the limit is. Whats frustrating too is that hes good at it. He's good at finding where the limits are, what not to say, what exactly to say thatll push your buttons but not in a way thatll actually upset you. He likes to be annoying as possible. This goes hand in hand with his avid use of sex jokes. All the time. He's a big fan of the kind of comedy where you take a joke thst isnt funny to begin with, and then run it into the ground until its dead and gone. He especially likes to tease Chad because hes the most reactive,and he finds the southern accent fucking hilarious. He's your typical blonde-guy-with-mullet - He likes to drink energy drinks until his chest hurts. He vapes, which everyone else hates (except Brad, who only really has an opinion on it because Chad does). He won't say anything about it until it becomes to much for him and he breaks down, but its partially self sabotage. As is his hypersexuality. He has a weird relationship with sex in that being hypersexual is freeing from his hyperreligious upbringing, but he also uses it as a way to hurt himself. Mentally he's definitely the worse off. He's the smartest too, but chooses not to use it. He slips in and out of polyamory with Brad and Chad - they consider themselves 'dating' but it wont ever go further then that and hes free to do whatever outside of that. Its very casual, and Jake has an intense fear of commitment. Its kind of just him appearing at their door at night and asking if he can sleep in their bed that night. He's a LOT worse than he lets on. He does have anxiety which mostly manifests as him picking at his fingers until they bleed. He'll occasionally have panic attacks and the like, for which he has a psychiatric service dog that Ive only done an hour or so's research on so Ill do that soon. His name is still undecided because he had an original name that was stupid, but now hes a service dog and not just a pet i wanna change it, lmao. Despite all of the redirection and unhealthy coping mechanisms, Jake is a very loving person and his friends love him too <3! He and Brad have been best friends since year 4/3rd grade. They met because Brad was drawing and Jake came over and was like "wow youre good at drawing. can you do the keep out signs for my secret hideout?" and then Brad followed him around like he'd been adopted by an extrovert. They met chad in school about 4 or 5 yearz after they became friends.

Vivere is our resident person who could for sure intervene and fix thing but instead is going to watch it burn down. I wouldn't say shes lazy, she's more just someone who wants entertainment, and shes found an easy source. She can be pretty genuine, but she's always lighthearted. She's on the ace spectrum, but couldn't tell you where. She and Jake are best friends. Shes the bright ideas, hes the execution. They remind me of Team Rocket LMAO. She is an avid cheater of games. She has never not cheated at a board or card game. She brags about cheating but she has a poker face of steel. She'll make monopoly trades with Jake in order to fuck over the other players. Its easy to spot when Jake's cheating because he cant stop grinning, so Viv likes to set him up and encourage it to take the attention off of her ploys. Other than that, she's really into reading. Shes partial to horror, but she'll read just about anything. She also loves animals, But not the typically cutesy ones. She likes reptiles and bugs most. She and Mori have a gecko called Egg and if anything happens to him she'll run away forever /j. She also loves looking into pseudoscience, because she finds it interesting whether or not she believes in them. She is a strong believer in the principles of yes-and and will commit to a bit even if it kils her. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

Mori is tied favourite with Brad, for sure. She's 6'4 and always smiling - not a big one, but its always there. Like what can i say? she loves her friends. She likes kind of old-timey things. She has a pocket watch that never gets used but is there, on of those dial up telephones, etc. She loves collecting too, so she has an EXTENSIVE record collection that she considers her life's work at 22. She loves the sea and pirates and everything that goes with it. Mori also has a few ships in a bottle placed delicately on her windowcill. She's REALLY good with animals and trains dogs for work. She's a dog person for sure. She and Viv eventually want rats, but theres not much space in their apartment for the amount they would need and they have Egg for now. In terms of her dynamic in the group, she serves as the mediator - particularly when playing a game like Uno or Monopoly. (Side note: they had to write colours on the cards for both games because of her colourblindness. Does she know shes ginger? good question, i dont know.) Unlike Jake and Viv who are determined to cheat the rules, Mori is more flexible in the way that she'll change the rules for the group if a compromise is needed. She's the second most social competent after Chad, shes just very charismatic. She also is the Dungeon Master when they play DnD together. She's big on dice collecting. She has them all organised by colour (Vivere helps lmao) in jars and displayed on her drawers. The group is extremely tight-knit and are almost always with atleast one other member of the group, but Mori has never been spotted in just a tshirt and jeans. The pirate outfit stays on during sex /j. What does she wear for pyjamas? No one knows. Vivere refuses to tell.

Uhhhh yeah I think thats basically it, LMAO. Tysm for asking and sorry this took a while to answer. but yeah! Here's the little dudes!!!! TBH i always enjoyed OCs that dont have any magical powers or plot theyre just people livin their lives, lmao. <33

[dishwater-blondie]

Why do you suppose Gabriel is so cold to Adrien? It seems like he doesn't care much about Adrien outside of his relation to Emilie. Given how bad things are between them it's hard to imagine how their relationship can be healed in a satisfying way

I do have a lot of thoughts on this and they are grounded mostly in pure speculation. I admit the show itself seems to suggest that the majority of the affection Gabriel holds for Adrien is related through Emilie, or at least the majority of affection that isn’t implicit paternal fondness (if that even matters with someone as emotionally flaccid as Gabriel). And honestly, this kinda sucks. For people to do try to enjoy Gabriel’s character like myself, his relationship with Adrien as presented does serve as one especially shitty detail in what is already quite the shitshow. But what really bothers me is that there is immense potential for some compellingly intricate family dynamics in the Agreste household that is oversimplified by the idea that Adrien is a reminder of Emilie to his father and nothing more. Here’s an explanation of what I believe should be the situation:

I’ve already offered plenty of analysis on why I think Emilie should be a villain and the evidence we have suggesting this might be the case, so I’ll spare you all of that right now. What I’ve talked much less about is how Emilie herself could have thrown a wrench in the relationship between father and son. From what we’ve heard about her so far, we are to understand that Emilie was always the warm and affectionate parent, while Gabriel, given his rigidity and general coldness, was likely the disciplinarian. However, since it’s been theorized at length that Emilie must have been majorly responsible for Adrien’s isolation growing up (at least equally to her husband), one conclusion that I have drawn is that Emilie could have been the one making these rules, tasking Gabriel with enforcing them. That’s not to say Gabriel didn’t also believe in these rules. I’m sure he did. But it’s beyond obvious that Gabriel has an unhealthy devotion to his wife, so who is to say Emilie didn’t manage to convince Gabriel of a structured lifestyle he wouldn’t have otherwise favored? It’s possible (especially when you consider based on Audrey’s dialogue that Gabriel was probably the lower class of the two who had to work and marry his way into wealth).

But expanding on this, we also have ample evidence that Emilie liked being idolized in her own house. Why else would there be giant golden portraits, statues, and a beautiful multi-story repository/garden - at least two of which had to have been prepared before she had fallen asleep? Might we speculate, then, that Emilie liked to be the center of attention? That she reveled in this overzealous dedication Gabriel exhibits towards her? And if she likes it from Gabriel, why wouldn’t she like it from her son, who doesn’t seem to register that she had to have played a considerable role in keeping him sheltered from the world? Adrien’s isolation is blamed on Gabriel even though he has more friends and freedom now than he’s had throughout the rest of his life. Yet, Emilie is still thought of as the better parent.

To a great extent, of course, she was. At least in terms of giving her son the time of day and being emotionally available to him. But what if she closed Gabriel off from this role? What if she made him play bad cop, enforce the rules she liked while she got to swoop in with her love and comfort and ignore that she was just as responsible for the way things were? What if she facilitated these parenting roles, ensuring she was always painted in a good light and never blamed for her son’s hardship?

[I mean, look at Amelie, who blamed Felix’s bad behavior on the fact that his father was no longer around to keep him out of trouble. She’s not responsible. His dad was the disciplinarian. Not her. She can’t control her son (even though she very much is)].

Now Emilie is gone and Gabriel doesn’t know how to step into the role she’d played all their son’s life. He seems so uncomfortable with Adrien showing him any kind of affection. Like it’s new to him. Like he doesn’t know how to be what Emilie had once been. Like he even feels guilty for filling that space.

Remember when Gabriel expressed that all he has left of Emilie is the grimoire and Adrien? Well, he is obsessed with that grimoire (or what it represents, the miraculous endeavor as a whole). But he keeps Adrien at a distance. If memory is all Adrien provided for him, wouldn’t he taking advantage of that more? If he truly values Adrien only as something Emilie left behind, I feel like they’d have a different relationship. Still a very, very unhealthy one. But different. “Closer” feels like the wrong word even though I do mean “less distant”. 

But no. Adrien seems almost emotionally off limits to Gabriel. He’s not brushing Adrien off because he’s too painful of a reminder - Gabriel literally never stops reminding himself of Emilie. Gabriel brushes Adrien off because he doesn’t know how to be something other than what he’s always been - the iron fist. The bad cop. The disciplinarian. Being as loving and warm as Emilie used to be would not only force him to confront the fact that they don’t need Emilie anymore, but it would also betray the hard and fast structure of their family functions, the structure Emilie implemented to secure her place in the emotional center of her husband and son’s worlds. 

As for how to heal their relationship, I talked a little bit about this in my post about Gabriel’s redemption, but I want to add that I do think it’s imperative these dynamics are exposed and both Agrestes realize how their relationship has been manipulated and that they properly communicate about it. 

Thank you for this ask! This was some fun analysis. 

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Week Day 7: Dealer’s Choice, or, Pick Your Own Adventure

(ok I know that’s not the real title but I’m going with it)

So I’m choosing this day to do this: my personal headcanons about Ziva’a past (even though for all I know the show has already contradicted them but do I care? no):

One set of her grandparents were (Sephardic) Spanish-Moroccan. (I initially used to pretend it was her mother’s parents since we know nothing about her mom but then I remember that didn’t Tony say they were buried in Yemeni or something?) That’s why Ziva speaks Spanish so effortlessly!

(Yes I know it’s because Cote’s native language is Spanish and they wrote it in but that doesn’t mean we can’t make up a backstory for it!)

(This is something that’s always been fascinating to me because my friend’s dad is Spanish-Moroccan Jewish and he could effortlessly break into one of the like 5 languages he spoke fluently when we were kids. Plus he helped with our Spanish homework lol.)

We know Ziva was a dancer, at least until the age of about 13 whenever she wrote that “I Will” list from PPF. She only ever talked about it once on the show, that time she told the suspect she always searched for her dad in the crowd when she was on stage. They never said how far along she went, but given how driven and athletic she is, I pretend that Ziva was probably serious enough about it that part of her wanted to pursue it, but she also knew by the age of about 16 that she wasn’t going to have a choice in the matter and she was going to be following in her father’s footsteps so she resigned herself to it and made the best of it.

We know what eventually became of Ari, obviously, but given that he was in her family photos (and there was that one in PPF if just her and Ari smiling), and he was in the flashbacks in “Shiva”  at the dinner table (I think?), it seems like he really was a huge part of their life, he wasn’t just the “bastard son” who was spoken of in hushed tones. He was her brother. So in my head, given that he was what, at least ten or so years older than her? (I know someone out there knows exactly but I don’t care enough to look it up sorry), I like to think that Ari was kind of Ziva’s “protector” as she grew up in Eli’s home. What I mean is that in my head, when her mom and dad started fighting more seriously and openly, when their marriage was imploding, Ari would be the one to take Ziva under his wing when he was home visiting. He’d pick her up and take her for a car ride and they would just drive and drive for hours around the city with nowhere to go, and sometimes they could go the whole time without speaking, but those rides would give her respite from the chaos at home. 

Because Tali was younger and didn’t understand as much about what was going on, and was still kind of malleable enough that she was going to escape relatively unscathed from it all. But Ziva was just old enough to get what was happening, to get how her parents could hurt each other and that her father was not as good a man as she thought he was growing up. And she had no one she could share this with, because again, Tali was too young, and she dared not speak it to friends, because the David family didn’t talk about their problems to outsiders. (Except Eli to Vance but that was more like a humblebrag like “lol i screw around so much on my wife she finally left me, chicks am I right?”). Ari, though, she knew he got it. (If only she knew exactly how much Ari knew about their father.)

And that is why Ari’s betrayal fucked her up even more. Because she lost her brother, but she also lost her confidant.

So in their sibling dynamic, Ari was kind of the cool, worldly older brother who would float in and out of her life, while Ziva was the people-pleasing middle daughter, the one who wanted to live up to her father’s expectations and didn’t understand her mother’s overprotectiveness over them (like when she moved away with her and Tali). Tali was a bit of a wild-child extroverted baby of the family, who everyone kind of doted on, because she was so outgoing and friendly and exuberant and easygoing. 

It’s like the whole family kind of silently agreed that they had to protect Tali at all costs, to keep her lightness in tact as opposed to the darkness that lived in the rest of them. It’s why Tali was allowed to pursue music and how she was able to make even Eli cry when she sang Puccini, and would have let her study opera if she’d wanted. Ari and Ziva did their duty so that Tali could pursue her dreams for the rest of them.

I used to think Ziva’s mom was also kind of the lightness in their home in contrast to Eli’s darkness, but recently the more I think of it, the more I could see that she could very likely have been tormented by depression herself, exacerbated by living with Eli and then still under his thumb even after they broke up. Ziva has such a sadness about her, which yes is probably influenced by losing everyone she loves so early in her life, but I could also see it as classic child-of-mentally-ill parent energy, always trying to be “best” and cause the least amount of trouble, because you don’t want to do anything to rock the boat and upset your parent. You learn to be self-sufficient very early on because you know your parent isn’t physically or emotionally available to you whenever you need them, so you have to rely on yourself. And it makes it that much harder to let people in as an adult, because you’ve spent a lifetime protecting yourself.

Because Eli is such a terrible person, it’s easy to think that he trained Ziva like a soldier from birth, but I think he was a lot more insidious than that. I think he was affectionate when present but by and large was an absentee parent due to his work commitments (so he could come home and play hero when he was home, which probably drove his wife even crazier because she bore the brunt of everything), and it wasn’t until Ziva was old enough to be of more use to him (like, say, early teens) that he started planting that seed and “shaping” her to whatever he wanted her for.  

BTW I don’t think Ziva’s mom hated Ari, or even resented him, because I don’t think he would have that warm a relationship with his sisters if she had, but I also like to think that and some point she looked at Ari as a grown man and realized that He Knew about Eli, just like she did. They never spoke about it, though. 

(I think she probably felt sorry for him a little because she probably had more than a little idea of what Eli put Ari’s mother through, and how he was manipulating Ari.)

Wow I had more David Family Headcanons than I thought.

Um what else let’s see

OK, once she is finally reunited with Tony and Tali, Ziva is going to be the obnoxious parent who takes pictures of everything all the time. Because she missed so much of her family’s life that she isn’t going to miss another second.

Because I need some happy headcanons.

I had more but I forgot and these are long enough. Will reblog at a later date if I remember.

Thanks for such an inspiring Ziva Week guys! It’s been so much fun seeing all of your posts on my dashboard!

(Sorry this was so late)

[some-cookie-crumbz]

HI Crumbz, I was wondering if you have any married kidge hcs? (I say it every day but I just love the way you write about these two

NOEHNRAWOEN BLUW;E!!! Oh My Lanta do I ever!!! I’m gonna have to put this under a read more because it got Hella long!

These are all Married-Before-Children headcanons, so if youwant Kidge-as-Parents, a part two will need to be done! >:3c

First things first, they designed the house together.

·        Being universe-saving Paladins of Voltron kindaearns them some free stuff. Which includes getting to either select a home thatis currently available or taking a plot of land to build on. They decide to start from scratch and have their home built from the ground up specifically for them.

For Keith, it’s about making his own foundation – both physicallyand emotionally – for the future he wasn’t sure he’d get to have.

·        I mean, he’s married to the literal smartestbeing in the universe who loves him because he’s just him? And they get to betogether, out of danger and safe? Sign him right the fuck up, my friend!

For Pidge, it’s about having a place to call not only her own,but their own.

·        Most of their lives, they’ve been kinda livingin spaces – or literally space - that were lent to them, and that has alwaysbeen kinda jarring for Pidge.

·        Like, the Garrison dorms? Not really theirs.

·        Their rooms on the Castle of Lions? Kinda closerto being their own space/s, but it was still kinda under theYou-Are-Paladins-And-Need-A-Place-To-Rest kinda deal.

·        The house, though, will be all theirs. It willbe Pidge’s space, and Keith’s space, and just generally their space. No moreworrying about having someone else walk in on their private moments. No moreworrying about Hunk hijacking her tools to use. No more worrying about Lancestarting up a pissing match with Keith while he’s trying to train. No moreblaring emergency alarm. They can just exist together holy shit

In the time between, they live with Pidge’s parents.

·        Colleen and Samuel are respectful of theirboundaries but they encounter some of the same issues involving privacy as withthe Castle of Lions.

·        Also, the sex life? Yeah, that ain’t happenin’when the in-laws are just one door over and can hear when the motion of theocean starts a rockin’.

·        Other than that, Keith likes getting to knowmore about Colleen and Sam, as well as watching Pidge squirm when they share embarrassingstories. He likes having an extended family as fun as the Holts, ngl.

The house design is pretty simple, with a generous amount ofrooms and space.

·        It’s technically two stories but also has abasement because these two are hyper-cautious about having plenty of space.

·        They have two garages; one for regular cars andone for the Lions. Yes, I said Lions. Keith is piloting something before the end of Season 6 and anyone who disagrees can fight me -

·        They also get a fireplace because Keith has fondmemories of roasting marshmallows with his Dad and Pidge can’t deny her mansomething sentimental.

·        They have a generous living room with anadjacent work room with both their computers, desks and filing cabinets in it.The dining room table is also in the work room because they’re both workaholicsand figure it makes the most sense to put it there.

·        They have a quaint little kitchen with all newappliances – and they are all stainless steel at Pidge’s insistence – and acute little breakfast nook to go with.

·        They have one master bedroom, five bedrooms, andthree bathrooms. They select this much space specifically for familyget-togethers/ visits from the other Paladins.

Keith does all the interior decorating. Pidge doesn’t reallycare much for that stuff and she actually really likes the colors and patterns and such Keith ends updeciding to go with. She even likes the goofy, old-style Saturday Morning Pressportraits he hangs in the living room, as tacky and outdated as they are.

The regular garage becomes Pidge’s hands-on workplace andKeith is totally cool with that.

·        Keith and Pidge agree that she isn’t supposed todo particularly high-risk experiments when she’s home alone.

·        One time, he left for a diplomatic mission withthe Coalition for two days. When he returned, the entire inside of the garagewas torched and required -near-complete rebuilding. Like, even the tools were meltedinto nothing!

·        “Pidge, how did you even…?”

·        “I think it’s better you don’t know.”

·        “… Yeah, you know what? Forget I asked.”

The two of them are just naturally good at co-existing and docute shit without even realizing it.

·        Pidge could be working on something in thegarage and Keith will just slip in and get comfy with a book on the littlecouch she keeps in there for him.

·        Keith can be working on something at his deskand Pidge will come out and settle the back of her desk chair against the backof his and pull out a journal or handheld game with the volume off.

·        They can be on the couch sitting next to eachother watching television and within twenty minutes they end up snuggled upunder the little throw blanket they keep draped along the back of the couchwithout a word or acknowledgement.

·        Sometimes they’ll settle in and just listen tomusic and do basic, pleasure-tasks in the same room and just enjoy thecomfortable ambiance between them.

·        Additionally, they don’t mind doing things inrooms separate, either. Sometimes Pidge will be working in the garage and Keithwill be working out in the basement and there’s no tension or stress aboutbeing apart.

They are pretty even about splitting the chores andhousework.

·        They take turns making meals. Keith mostly makesbreakfast, though, and Pidge mostly makes dinner, just because of their wake-uphabits.

·        They take turns with the dishes in that whoevercooks the meal doesn’t have to do the dishes afterwards. Whoever starts thedishwasher doesn’t have to unload it, though, just to make it fair in that regard too.

·        Keith takes care of most of the yard work. Pidgedid her stint with the Nature Thing, she doesn’t need more. Plus, Keithfinds nature peaceful, so he actually enjoys the task and takespride in how their yard is kept. He maybe starts a little garden after theirfirst child is born and old enough to toddle around but that’s neither here northere just saying

·        Pidge takes care of any/all repairs to thingsaround the house in regards to technology/appliances/stuff of that ilk.

·        Pidge cleans the bathroom as well as mops thefloor in the kitchen. Keith vacuums their room and the front two rooms.

·        They do the laundry together. One of them startsit, the other switches, and they work together to fold and put it all away.

Okay, now to get to some of the more Romance-Centric CoupleStuffs.

·        Keith is an absolute morning person, so henormally gets up early and goes for a jog. Pidge wakes up briefly to whineabout him leaving because she was enjoying the company and warmth, thank youvery much, but he just kinda laughs her off. He’ll typically come back, take ashower, make coffee and start breakfast, and bring Pidge her cup to coerceher out of the comforter cocoon she has made for herself.

            Pidge likes to occasionally slip into the gymwhen Keith’s working out and pretend like their strangers and just openly flirtwith him. He low-key adores it and plays along.

“Hey there, beautiful. Come here often~?”

“Can I help you, Miss?”

“You can help me by giving me those digits, hotstuff~!” *winks with left eye*

“Excuse me, I am a happily married man.”

“What your wife don’t know won’t hurt her~!”*winks with right eye*

·        Date nights for them are typically low-key funstuffs. They make practical use of the fireplace to make popcorn or roasted marshmallowsfor s’mores while they watch movies or play video games or other things like that.

·        Some nights they’ll make more complicated mealstogether and sit at the dinner table and pretend they’re at some ritzy restaurantbecause they’re just two stupid dorks in love. They’ll sometimes move to theliving room and use the fireplace for chocolate fondue – the pot was a weddinggift from Hunk – and have wine.

·        The fireplace might also be phenomenal moodlighting for nights where they’re feeling a little frisky~! ;3c

·        They’re both cuddly af. Keith tends to go to bedbefore Pidge, so normally he’ll wake up with her arms and legs splayed over hisback and legs respectively, face pressed into the spot between his shoulders. Shegets super mumbley and whiny when he moves to get up. On the rare occasionswhere Pidge goes to bed first, she wakes up with Keith pulling her so herback is against his chest, his arms looped around her waist and his facenuzzled into the top of her hair.

           Keith and Pidge came to a mutual agreement that Sunday mornings are for sleeping in, no ifs ands or buts about it, and it’s actually both of theirs favorite day of the week. It’s Keith’s favorite cause there’s something nice about sleepy pillow talk with the Missus about all the nothing they’ll be doing that day, while it’s Pidge’s favorite because sleepy Keith is an adorable sight she doesn’t get nearly often enough.

·        They’re both just… so affectionate in privatebecause they feel so damn comfortable being themselves with each other!

I think that’s everything for now that I had in my mind!WHIOSDFJIBSSDAS HOPEFULLY IT WAS ALL GOOD!!!

[choric]

( park jimin - demimale, he/they ) — did you see noeul han walking down the street? the twenty-three year old has lived here for three weeks. i heard they’re an aspiring painter & a part-time barista now, time sure flies. gooey by glass animals always did remind of them, maybe it’s because they’re so audacious & charitable. though i did hear they can also be commanding & capricious if you catch them on a bad day.

hey babes drum-roll it’s admin fany here to welcome yall~ with some random info about me I guess uh so I’m 26, living in northern europe, most of the time dying bc I’m not made for these hot ass summers, other times just being distracted twelve times outta ten jsyk I’m not ignoring anyone my attention span is just in the negatives. or I’m playing overwatch. or subnautica when I’m feeling particularly masochistic.  would drop dead without tea. ye. that’s all for today folks

anyway here’s Noeul’s profile if you wanna peep also a very messy plot page aaaand I’m gonna ramble about him now uwu

tw: emotional abuse, tw: assault ( kinda brief mentions, esp the assault, I tried keeping it safe )

born in Seoul but his family moved to USA when he was barely 6. they moved around a l o t since then but stayed within the borders. save for one weird year in France back in 2010

he haTED it. all the constant moving around and starting at new schools with new people trying to get new friends and find new hobbies and leaving pretty much everything behind so often just stressed the hell out of his young self and he was in a perpetual state of over-emotional about the whole ordeal and angry and bitter and yeah. not having a good time

over the years he managed to find ways to cope with it, drawing and painting being a major thing as it was one of very few things he could just continue without any special arrangements made or it feeling different. putting all that bent up negativity on paper was helpful in itself so he stuck with it without much thought then, clinging into a lifeline of one constant in a sea of variables

later on it morphed from being less of a therapeutic activity and more one of him being able just flow with creativity, paint with a less personal agenda and enjoy it way more too ( not to say he doesn't still use it as a form of escapism too )

reading was another thing he found enjoyment in, especially during his early teenage years. that is something he doesn't engage that often in anymore however

his parents didn’t really care about what hobbies he took on ( even with painting carrying throughout the years he ended up trying a whole slew of other things too ) until it became apparent he was actually considering art as a legit career path. neither agreed it being a good idea but they didn’t flat out deny him either.. just were very patronising about it for months and by that time he had come to actual decision of going through with it out of pettiness alone lmao. which of course served nothing but to legit piss them off and led to a number of arguments they still have to this day yikes

his parents entire view on life seemed to be there was no point getting attached to anything, sentimentality was a flaw and you could just buy everything you needed again without much care for what was left behind. especially his mom had a lot of emotionally abusive ways to steer his life in the direction she wanted, but giving just enough freedom for him to think he had a say in anything. not to say she wasn’t supportive and encouraging too but he honest to god can’t tell now how much of it was genuine. she was especially fond of using subtle blackmail in form of referring to her own feelings and how his actions will upset her, occasionally bursting into a loud tirade which was then quickly pushed to the side without any apologies for making him in turn upset so boy was always just on edge. this still happens but he pretty much only communicates with her through calls anymore so, Noeul just hangs up when she starts acting up. his dad was more the type to not involve himself into his hobbies and likes or anything at all he only cared about academic plans.

that all messed him up big time in his younger years bc he was inherently just very attached to everything and everyone but now.. it’s almost the complete opposite, enough repetition and shit will stick I guess cause he has next to no sentimental feelings towards anything, in turn actually loves travelling and meeting new people now. partially also cause he doesn’t feel obligated to uphold anything or allow himself being chained down, he treats everything like it’s fleeting, but not without care– don’t assume he doesn’t care when that’s something he does in abundance actually. he just.. accepts nothing lasts forever. ironic enough he’s adopted far too many of his parent’s habits to count now but has grown more tender with the experiences rather than cold. probably a miracle in itself. hella guarded about his feelings tho

so yeah he moved to LA ( parents were at the time both living in NYC ) for art school and got that bachelor of fine arts degree, graduating just spring last year and has no desire to further those studies cause screw school he’s done with institutions for a decade

also his parents filed for divorce while he was at it. before he was even done with freshman year. wasn’t all too surprising nor did he have anything to really say about it, except the times mom called him whilst drunk and essentially blamed it on him being a bad son :/// his dad’s fucked off somewhere he hasn’t heard whole lot from him in last three years beside birthday texts and money transfers to his bank account. and subtle messages through mom about how he expects him to clean up one of these days. meanwhile mom mostly contacts just to check he’s alive & doing well financially while slipping in vague ‘if you would have just listened to me‘s and ‘when will you come to your senses’s >_>

forgot to mention his dad’s a CEO of a small airline company. don’t ask me what his mom does idk prob some manager of a huge ass successful online shop?? something along those lines

will not speak about them if asked tbh don't expect anything other than "they're alive."

does not like announcing his ( their ) wealth to the world either and tries not to make decisions that could reflect that but something always has to give in the end. like he’s just way too happy to blow money on other people no matter how subtle he tries to be about it and often like his parents buys new stuff instead of finding ways to bring his old along, some of his clothes are also a dead giveaway it’s not so much that he specifically purchases anything cause it’s designer but if it looks nice he doesn’t see it as any different buying from any other store around. smells awfully lot like privilege but he’s unapologetic in getting exactly what he wants, it’s not his problem if someone takes offence to that

kind of also hates that he’s so dependant on parent’s money still but has made peace with it by giving away and works twice as hard for his own stuff, regardless if it yields anything cause he’s not doing this whole painting thing as a means to gain money ( would like to, but alas, it’s a tricky career path ) more from pure passion for the art

and noeul def is not gonna tell them to stop sending him cash he'll just have fun spending it in all the shit they'd hate-- even if they've basically set conditions but weird enough haven't cut him off yet.  guess that really is the only thing they can give him and they know it too :)) 

so. doesn’t actually like sitting idle even tho he all but could, yet cannot happily place himself in an establishment with very strict 9 to 5 shifts and such, so if and when he takes on extra work occasionally it’s always part-time, and for own personal gratification

in the case of him recently taking on a spot as a part-time barista here in acarike ( started like, two days ago or something ) was also bc of keeping up appearances ( surely he would run out of money eventually? no, but no one needs to know that ) and getting to know some of the people around since his group of road-tripping friends have seriously decided to settle in

if anyone was wondering yes he has experience working in cafes, among other places. his parents abhorred him taking on such jobs at all cause “what was the point? are we not providing enough?” first of all did he ask?

I guess he is currently residing in the stardust motel?? but is looking for a place

for him travelling in the past few years has been sorta cathartic, inspiring if I dare say both in personal growth and in his work since he can decide on everything by himself, where he wants to go, for how long, for why etc

sometimes likes when he has company for that, other times he just needs to make a trip in solitary. altogether prefers meeting random people along the way

is a kind of odd friend, loyal, compassionate and all that but puts himself before anyone else. or rather puts his emotional and other needs before everything else. if he feels you’re the one getting more out of it than he is it’s not worth it sorry. very generous tho and sees it as his duty to help others in any way if it doesn’t inconvenience him. not unreliable but available only when it suits him. so unless it’s life threatening or emotional distress he will not drop everything for even a friend’s sake you can wait an hour or two. can make friends as quick as he drops them

might get a little inappropriately affectionate with friends. especially so when intoxicated

is an even weirder lover. he loves the idea and feeling of being in love and the emotional thrill of it. relationships are fun yeah but commitment?? not in his. vocabulary. to elaborate he lives for the push and pull and the suspense of it all and needs things to stay stimulating on all levels across the board when deepening relationships further while also being able to maintain a sense of own freedom. he craves the sort of emotional security and gratification it all brings but refuses to become dependant on it ( he knows how that will go ), furthermore does not like all the limitations it brings nor everything being perfect to the point of feeling fake??

tries to make it clear that he’s NOT looking for anything long term but even then people haven’t taken it well when he out of the blue announces they should stop whatever it is they’re doing. he always feels bad about it and tries to part in good terms but yeah :// many hearts have been broken. it’s probably even worse for the other person cause Noeul himself seems to have absolutely no problem continuing his life like nothing happened. all this has made him into a bit of a serial dater??

in whole he takes everything as they are, nothing is everlasting and he doesn’t try to make it so, doesn’t necessarily want to. values experiences but doesn’t get too hung up on letting go of them. including relationships. this is something a lot of people in his life wont understand and it’s frustrating for everyone involved sometimes but you gotta do what you gotta do. might be scared of opening up to people. of that attachment. maybe he’s actually just picky and is waiting for something out of the world magical who knows

repels all negativity as if his life depended on it like. add begone thot meme here

but can also be very confrontational so???

is actually in constant war with himself over positive and negative emotions but filters that out pretty handily. most of the time. cause uh absolutely will turn vicious and loud when angry. sensitive to criticism and personal attacks but gets over it quick enough. does hold grudges but mainly towards people whose opinion he cares about. strangers rarely phase him. has random emotion™ bursts but tbh only cries when being shouted at and/or being target of someone’s wrath-- OR when noeul's angry himself?? also lowkey dramatic but most of the time he’s just sorta chill and cheery, occasionally sarcastic but in a good-natured way he doesn’t mean ill with it. has very strong opinions on some things but doesn’t care if someone else sees it differently. as long as they’re not saying their way is the only right way. or if their reasoning is utter bullshit which he will call out then :))

negative people just make him laugh. will not take your ass seriously at all if you’re being a douche. used to take offence to these kinds of people all the time but he’s grown out of it and learned to simply ignore people who don’t deserve the time of his day. at least outwardly.

similarly used to be very.. well. lets say prone to letting people control and push him around cause that’s what he had learned to accept but whoo boy when he finally figured it out and took the reigns into own hands no one could stop him try it bitch

likes doing things in own terms in general, need for control has kinda taken off so will not take kindly to being ordered around in any manner. tries not to impose on other people or be pushy himself but cannot stand indecisiveness so. it happens. for better or for worse

in tune with his surroundings and current community of people if something’s off he can sense it and it will bug him to no end before it’s fixed. this could be anything from his room being in disarray to something going on in the city in whole

I ain’t saying he’s a psychic but actually stupid intuitive most cases WILL see through your bullshit don’t even try

…ok but lowkey into supernatural stuff and spirituality all that jazz he’s gone through it all while trying to find himself– which is a whole another can of worms we ain’t opening here

did I forget to mention noeul and co ( minho & jae ) rolled into town in this shiny big rv. he's def looking to buy a smaller car to drive around

not too keen on giving rides to strangers since this one time two summers ago that went south real fast when a guy pulled a knife on him. has a pretty big scar to show for it on his right side? tummy?? there’s a pic in the profile page if you’re curious. he jokes about it now "it adds character" but is actually terrified of that happening again so perpetually jumpy minho blames himself for it cause he's dumb

you can prob hear him coming 5 miles away with the amount of jewellery he adorns

don’t get me started on his wardrobe it’s a mixed bag and then some. gender norms belong into the fiery pits of a volcano

is equal parts a tea & coffee enthusiast basically lives off that stuff. i'm probably not even exaggerating here boy forgets to eat when he gets focused on something and just wolfs down a pot of coffee.

obsessed with watermelon flavoured lollipops probably has one on him at all times somehow magically pulls them outta thin air??

you can prob find him painting outside in the randomest places when the weather's nice

likes painting on people probably as much as painting them

it’s not an intimacy thing I swear. but. can be?? probably accidentally turns that way that’s just how he is

prefers either to focus on faces ( eyes specifically ) or nude models in general fcking @ him

this. is so long already I’m sorry omg

and that’s all I got my brains’ fried over this all but yo come plot with me pls also check my plots maybe orrr if you want me to check your plots ( I’d love to!! ) come poke me ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[kansascityhappenings]

‘Gut-wrenching’ plight: Giving up custody of children so they can get mental health help

CHICAGO — When Toni and Jim Hoy adopted their son Daniel through the foster care system, he was an affectionate toddler. They did not plan to give him back to the state of Illinois, ever.

“Danny was this cute, lovable little blond-haired, blue-eyed baby,” Jim said.

Toni recalled times Daniel would reach over, put his hands on her face and squish her cheeks. “And he would go, ‘You pretty, Mom,’ ” Toni said. “Oh, my gosh, he just melted my heart when he would say these very loving, endearing things to me.”

But as Daniel grew older, he changed. He began to show signs of serious mental illness that eventually manifested in violent outbursts and nearly a dozen psychiatric hospitalizations, starting at age 10. Doctors said he needed intensive, specialized care away from home — institutional services that cost at least $100,000 a year.

The family had private insurance through Jim’s job, and Daniel also had Medicaid coverage because he was adopted. But neither insurance would pay for that treatment. Exhausted and desperate, the Hoys decided to relinquish custody to the state. If they sent Daniel back into the foster care system, the child welfare agency would be obligated to pay for the services he needed.

“To this day, it’s the most gut-wrenching thing I’ve ever had to do in my life,” Jim said. He went to the hospital and told Daniel, then 12, that they were legally abandoning him so child welfare could take over. “I was crying terribly. But it was the only way we figured we could keep the family safe.”

Two-thirds of states don’t keep track of how many families give up custody to help a child get mental health services. But a study by the Government Accountability Office found that, back in 2001, families in 19 states relinquished nearly 13,000 children.

Today in Illinois, state records show that dozens of children enter state custody this way each year, despite a 2015 state law aimed at preventing it. And new data collected by the University of Maryland for the federal government finds that Illinois is not alone in failing to address this issue.

Mental health advocates say the problem is one of “too little, too late.” Even when states try to help children get access to treatment without a custody transfer, the efforts come too late in the progression of the children’s illnesses.

The advocates blame decades of inadequate funding for in-home and community-based services across the country — a lack of funding that has chipped away at the mental health system. Without that early intervention, children deteriorate to the point of being needlessly hospitalized and requiring costly residential care.

Until that underlying problem is addressed, child advocates say, the problem of families trading custody for treatment will never truly be solved.

Out Of Options

Daniel grew up as the youngest of four children in Ingleside, north of Chicago. As a baby, he had been severely neglected in his birth family — starved and left for dead. The early trauma Daniel experienced very likely affected his brain development, doctors said.

Toni home-schooled her children until she had to return to work full time in 2005. She said Daniel, who was 10, just fell apart.

“After six weeks of being in a public school classroom — something kids do every day — he couldn’t emotionally handle it and had his first hospitalization,” Toni said.

Daniel’s post-traumatic stress disorder and severe anxiety manifested in violent outbursts.

“He held knives to people’s throats,” Toni said. “He tried putting his fingers and his tongue in the light sockets. He broke almost every door in the house.”

In the car, there were times he’d reach over and grab the wheel while Toni was driving, to try to force the car into oncoming traffic. Other times, he would lash out at his siblings.

“At the same time, he’s a little boy,” she said. “He didn’t want to be that way. He didn’t like being that way.”

Despite Toni and Jim’s efforts to help their son with therapy and medication, the violence escalated, and Daniel was repeatedly hospitalized.

Although his doctors and therapists said he needed residential treatment, which would run at least $100,000 a year, both the family’s private health insurance, and Daniel’s secondary Medicaid coverage, denied coverage.

So the Hoys applied for a state grant meant for children with severe emotional disorders. They also asked for help from Daniel’s school district, which is supposed to cover a portion of the costs when students need long-term, off-site care. They were denied both.

“We were told we had to pay out-of-pocket for it,” Toni said.

Then one night, Daniel picked up his brother Chip, threw him down the stairs and punched him over and over before their dad pulled the boys apart.

Daniel went back to the hospital for the 11th time in two years. That’s when the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services gave the Hoys an ultimatum.

“[They] basically said, ‘If you bring him home, we’re going to charge you with child endangerment for failure to protect your other kids,’” Toni remembered. “‘And if you leave him at the hospital, we’ll charge you with neglect.’”

“If any of our other kids got hurt once we brought him home, they would take the other kids,” Jim said. “They put our backs against the wall, and they didn’t give us any options.” So the couple left Daniel at the hospital.

Once the state’s child welfare agency steps in to take custody, the agency will place the child in residential treatment and pay for it, said Robert Farley Jr., a lawyer in Naperville, Ill., another Chicago suburb.

“So you get residential services, but then you’ve given up custody of your child,” Farley said. “Which is, you know, barbaric. You have to give up your child to get something necessary.”

Taking It To The Courts

The Hoys were investigated by DCFS and charged with neglect. They appealed in court and the charge was later amended to a “no-fault dependency,” meaning the child entered state custody at no fault of the parents.

They didn’t know where Daniel was for several weeks, until he phoned from the group home where he had been placed to tell them he was OK.

Losing custody meant Toni and Jim could visit Daniel and maintain contact with him, but they could not make decisions regarding his care.

Over the next three years, Daniel lived at three residential treatment centers. One was five hours away by car. His parents visited as often as they could.

Toni spent months reading up on federal Medicaid law, and she learned the state-federal health insurance program is supposed to cover all medically necessary treatments for eligible children.

The Hoys hired a lawyer and, two years after giving Daniel up, they sued the state in 2010.

Six months later, they settled out of court and regained custody of Daniel, who was 15 by then. They also got the money to pay for Daniel’s care on their own.

Around the same time, Farley, the attorney, decided to take on the issue on behalf of all Medicaid-eligible children in the state. He filed a class-action lawsuit, claiming Illinois illegally withheld services from children with severe mental health disorders.

“There [are] great federal laws,” he said. “But someone’s not out there enforcing them.”

In his lawsuit, Farley cited the state’s own data, showing that 18,000 children in Illinois have a severe emotional or behavioral disorder, yet only about 200 receive intensive mental health treatment.

As part of a settlement, a federal judge ordered Illinois Medicaid officials to completely overhaul the state system so that kids get home- and community-based treatment in the early stages of their illness.

The deadline for the state to roll out those changes is this month.

A Law That Didn’t Fix The Problem

While these legal battles were taking place, Illinois lawmakers began their own work to ensure that parents no longer have to relinquish custody to get their kids the help they need.

The Custody Relinquishment Prevention Act, which became law in 2015, ordered six state agencies that interact with children and families to intervene when a family is considering giving up custody to get access to services.

“I think the question is: Shouldn’t government be stepping in and doing their job? And they’re not,” said Democratic state Rep. Sara Feigenholtz. “We just want them to do their job.”

B.J. Walker, head of Illinois’ child welfare agency, said the reasons for custody relinquishments are complex.

“If law could fix problems, we’d have a different world,” she said.

In some places, waitlists for residential treatment beds for kids in crisis can be months long.

But even when beds are available, Walker said, some facilities are simply unwilling or unable to take a child who has a severe mental health condition or a co-occurring medical condition.

Out of desperation, some parents will give up custody in the hope of getting their child to the top of the waiting list. But that doesn’t necessarily solve the problem.

As ProPublica Illinois reports, many foster children languish for months in psychiatric wards that are ill-equipped to provide long-term care because the state is unable to place them in an appropriate therapeutic setting. Walker’s agency is being sued for allegedly forcing children to “remain in locked psychiatric wards, causing immense harm,” for weeks or months after they’ve been cleared for discharge.

The Underlying Issue

Neil Skene, spokesman for Illinois’ child welfare agency, said there are more options for families like the Hoys today than there were a decade ago. That includes a crisis-stabilization program launched in 2017 that helps families get access to services.

When the child welfare agency is blamed for this problem, Skene said, it’s like when a pitcher comes in at the end of a losing game to save the day and gets tagged with the loss.

Some mental health advocates agree it’s not fair to fault the state’s child welfare agency for a problem that stems from a chronically underfunded mental health system.

Heather O’Donnell, a mental health advocate who works for Thresholds, a behavioral health treatment provider in Chicago, blames years of inadequate funding in Illinois and across the U.S.

Early-intervention services are either not available or not accessible because insurance companies deny coverage.

“If these kids had leukemia or diabetes, they would’ve gotten help long, long before,” O’Donnell said. “It’s because they have a mental health condition that causes their behavior to be challenging and erratic. And as a society, we sweep these conditions under the rug until there’s a crisis. We just wait for tragedy.”

“What Illinois needs to put into place is a system that helps these families early on, so that these kids never get hospitalized,” O’Donnell said.

Beth Stroul, who has been studying the problem of custody relinquishment for decades, agrees. She is the lead researcher on a new study — commissioned by the federal government and carried out by the University of Maryland — that explores why the problem persists.

Stroul said other states, including Georgia and New Jersey, have passed laws and stepped up efforts to help children get treatment while in parental custody.

“But those strategies, in and of themselves, are not sufficient unless there are home- and community-based services available that provide the supports and treatment needed to keep children and families safe in the community,” Stroul said.

The Difference Treatment And Family Can Make

Daniel Hoy is now 24 and has been out of residential treatment — and stable — for six years.

He said treatment was tough, and he would not have gotten better without his parents’ love and support. “It was never a question in my mind that my parents would always be there for me,” he said. “Sometimes it’s so hard to do it for yourself. It almost helps to know that I’m doing it for myself, but I’m also doing it for my family and for our relationship.”

Daniel now works nights for a shipping company and lives with his girlfriend and their toddler daughter in central Illinois, not far from his parents.

“I just love having a relationship with him,” Jim said. “I feel so privileged that [when] he’s having a bad day, he comes over and talks to us about it.”

Toni said, looking back, it’s shameful that families get torn apart by a system that’s supposed to be supportive.

She is grateful they made it through intact. Other families that have gone through this same thing, she said, have lost touch with their child forever. “Kids do need services,” Toni said. “But they also need the support of their families.”

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/01/21/gut-wrenching-plight-giving-up-custody-of-children-so-they-can-get-mental-health-help/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/01/21/gut-wrenching-plight-giving-up-custody-of-children-so-they-can-get-mental-health-help/