#zivadavidweek2019

[slouchingprovocatively]

ziva david week 2019 day 2: favourite episode ↳ recoil

i almost died. but you didn’t. you gotta trust your judgment, ziva. moment you don’t, it won’t be almost.

[indestinatus]

If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two For the girl that I knew

She Used to Be Mine - Sara Bareilles

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Appreciation Week Day 1: Underrated Friendship

OK, I had a totally different idea for this one initially (and if I have time tonight maybe I’ll make another post), but here it goes for now:

I don’t know how “underrated” this is, but I really liked the relationship between Ziva and Damon Werth.

(All screencaps in this post courtesy of NCIS Source.)

They meet under inauspicious circumstances, of course. He is their main suspect and has just beaten the crap out of the entire team, including Ziva. 

Yet instead of feeling fear or anger, Ziva is immediately drawn to Damon, because she recognizes something in him: Trauma.

Even before we find out that Damon is a super soldier, that he’s been experimented on and manipulated through the use of steroids to do someone else’s bidding, Ziva is sympathetic towards him, recognizing a look in his eyes she’s probably seen in countless friends and colleagues as a soldier -- and even in herself. Being so focused on your mission that you can’t leave it behind.

For instance, once Werth is in custody, there is that moment with Abby where she freaks out over the attack, losing her marbles over her friends being hurt, and in turn losing it on Ziva when Ziva expresses sympathy for Damon’s situation. That brings the infamous line where Abby accuses Ziva of being an “emotionless” assassin, compared to the rest of them who presumably have feelings, which gets right at the heart of Ziva’s own pain. Because we know she’s not emotionless, just like Damon isn’t, and she sees in him what she assumes the world sees of her. That on the outside she appears to be the perfect soldier, following orders without remorse, but we know that on the inside she feels so deeply that she essentially feels alone, like no one can understand her.

Which is why she is so desperate to clear Damon’s name. 

He’s a marine who gave his life to serve his country and is now being tossed aside to cover up someone else’s mistakes, just like Ziva’s been used by her father and Mossad to serve someone else’s agenda, been trained her whole life to be the sharp end of someone else’s spear, without any consideration for her own desires or choices.

Which is why it’s so important to her to not only plead his case and get to the bottom of what really happened, but also show him that someone out there does understand what he’s going through. Both the trauma of what happens in a war zone and when you get home -- and what it’s like to have everyone make assumptions about you and write you off. (As the conversation with Abby painfully demonstrates.)

So when they finally figure out what is happening to him, that someone is harming him, Ziva is determined that she can get through to him, and insists on meeting with him, even though it is a risk to her safety. 

Which proves to be true, when they have their “Pulp Fiction” moment and he Hulk Smashes his way through the hospital room:

What has always struck me about this scene is how preternaturally calm she is in this moment. This guy who probably weighs twice as much as her comes charging at her, and sure, she’s probably internally worried that she’s going to get hurt, but she isn’t scared of him. And not in that “Ziva is a badass who takes no shit” kind of way, but in an overwhelmingly compassionate, “this isn’t who he is” way. It is incredibly vulnerable and raw, but again displays this whole other side of her that we only get glimpses of. 

The show often glosses over Ziva’s own military service, but how many men (and women) do you think Ziva has known in her lifetime who have ended up exactly like Damon? Guys who were once your best buddies whose brains ended up like “Swiss cheese” to quote this show, due to their PTSD and whatever else they’ve suffered with as a result? Friends you wish you could have helped but lost along the way?

I feel like that is exactly what drives Ziva to fight for him so fiercely from the outset, and why she takes an unusually silent, open approach with him. 

She gave him a chance when no one else would.

(Because life gave her a second chance when by all accounts she never should have had it.)

Like, I even love that of all of them, it’s Ziva and Gibbs who get dressed up all fancy to take Damon to his medal ceremony, and how disappointed they both are when it gets cancelled.

They want to stand by him. (That’s a whole other post -- how Ziva and Gibbs “get” the military duty aspect more than any of the other combination of team members, because they’re the only two who have served and understand the commitment and personal sacrifice that entails firsthand.)

Bonus cap: Ziva in fancy clothes:

Anyway, this first episode is mostly Ziva-focused, obviously, because Damon’s brain was all scrambled, but I loved how it showed their instant connection, which is highlighted in his future appearances in season 7.

It’s a short one in “Outlaws and Inlaws,” but it packs a punch.

Once again, Damon finds himself accidentally on the wrong side, this time because it turns out his boss is a mercenary who has hired him to kidnap Layla and Amira (under the guise of “rescue,”) but I love that as soon as he sees Ziva there, he goes from “oh no I have to save my friend!” to “oh SHIT we gotta fix this” when Ziva tells him what is in fact happening. Like, screw all his coworkers, if Ziva tells him something’s wrong, he’s with her 110%. I love how deep that trust is.

And I like how he changes sides immediately at this too. We only see him briefly in this episode, but he’s totally ride-or-die for Team NCIS, thanks to Ziva. 

Then in his last episode, he and Ziva actually get to team up on a mission!

And they’re all cute and fun and flirty but in a totally friendly way!

(Not gonna lie, if Ziva couldn’t be with Tony, I would have been fine with her having a fling with Damon. He was hot and nice and kinda worshipped her, what’s not to like? But I digress.)

I just really appreciated how he was this dude who could easily have been a macho meathead, but instead he’s sensitive and struggling with his demons, just like Ziva is, and the reignite this kinship over their shared history of trauma:

“My friends who know about these things tell me it is a science. Trauma intensifies memory, which can make it feel ever present.” “There a reason for that?” "Perhaps to teach you, so you do not allow it to happen again.” "I keep getting stuck in my own history.” "Look, the last time we saw each other, you were in control. You helped us. Even after everything you have gone through, you can move forward. You can find the right path, Damon.”

(transcript courtesy Springfield)

In the context of the show, this is months after Somalia, and Ziva is still grappling with what happened to her there, along with everything that happened to her in her life before she came to NCIS, and she’s trying to reconcile who she wants to be with her past. 

But she’s doing the work. That’s the important part.

So when she reunites with Damon, sees him struggling with his own past and his own choices and possibly heading down the wrong path because he can’t find his footing in civilian life, she’s sympathetic to his plight. Because she was lucky enough to have NCIS to fall back on, something to help guide her and give her direction in her life when she left her old one. Damon doesn’t have that kind of support system, and like Ziva went from being in a highly specialized unit where everything was life-or-death, to living an aimless existence just trying to get by. 

I love that Ziva tries to mentor him in a way, or even act like a sponsor of sorts, showing him that trauma manifests in different forms, but that there are ways to get through it. They are not defined by their experiences or by others’ expectations of them, and all they can do is work hard to honour their choices and live up to their own expectations of themselves.

I love that they took what was probably this one-off character in season 5, and used his backstory to mirror Ziva’s, and help her work through some of those feelings herself. 

I’d like to think that Damon and Ziva kept in touch over the years, checked in with each other with a quick text every couple of months or years to see what they’re up to. He was an unexpectedly cool dude, and I’m glad we got to see Ziva show compassion to him when no one else would, because that is such a huge part of who she is. She fights for those who don’t have a voice.

I’d totally be cool with Damon coming back one day!

[zivaweek]

Welcome to ZivaWeek’s inaugural “Ziva David Appreciation Week.” Inspired by @zivadavidweek’s 2015 event, ours will take place November 24-30, 2019.

For the following seven prompts writers, gif makers, artists, editors, and all other content creators are invited to show us their talent.

PROMPTS:

Day 1 (November 24) - An Underrated Friendship

Day 2 (November 25) - Favourite Episode(s)

Day 3 (November 26) - Favourite Zivaism(s)

Day 4 (November 27) - Most Badass Moment(s)

Day 5 (November 28) - A Quote You Associate With Her

Day 6 (November 29) - Your Hopes for Her Upcoming Episodes

Day 7 (November 30) - Free Choice

RULES:

You do not have to participate in every day. Please come and go as you please. Further, if you’re not feeling inspired by one of the prompts above, feel free to change it. As long as you tag your contribution with #zivadavidweek2019within the first five tags, we will reblog your post. Lastly, this is meant to be a positive event to appreciate a character we love. Please be kind and respectful of others.

If you have any questions please ask! Although it is not necessary, it would be appreciated if you follow @zivaweek and please signal boost this post. This blog is excited to host this event and hopes to make it an annual event.

Credit to @zivacaps​ for the graphic���s screen cap.

[benditlikepress]

Ziva David Week Day 2: Favourite Episode(s) 

Out of the Darkness / Into the Light

@zivaweek

Now I of all people can't believe I'm quoting episodes from the most recent season of NCIS as my favourite Ziva episodes

I'm not visually creative but I did write a fic set after these episodes and also had Some Thoughts tm on my way to work this morning

I think what made these episodes so special for me was how Ziva took centre stage. Now of course Ziva has had so many amazing centric episodes before (Recoil, TorC, Shiva, etc) but what's unique about these two is that we access them via Ziva and Ziva alone. In pretty much every other Ziva-centric episode, we access Ziva's story through Tony's eyes. Usually a staple of Ziva-centric episodes is her shutting down and refusing to acknowledge her feelings. While I think Tony definitely served his purpose over the years as a vehicle to access what Ziva was thinking, I'm so grateful that the writers finally found a way that they could stay true to who Ziva is while being able to tell her story solely through her eyes. It's also reflective of the ways she's changed over the years - as we learnt from her diaries in She, there is this whole other intensely emotional side of her that we so rarely got to see on screen before and I'm glad we're getting more of an understanding of it now.

More rambling thoughts below the cut >>

In staying true to Ziva's character, I also think they did a good job of revisiting the storylines and conflicts that were at the heart of her time on the show. Her ties to her family and Ari, her relationship with Gibbs, her ideas of morality, questions of motive and whether Ziva can be trusted, her relationship with Tony and her desire for a home and a family. I think the only thing they didn't touch on was her divided loyalties between the US/NCIS and Israel/Mossad, although there's only 1 hour 20 minutes to work with!

While I loved Truth or Consequences and Reunion as episodes, I had a big issue with the resolution of that storyline in that we got so little in terms of the after-effects of what Ziva went through when she was held captive. Aside from (to an extent) Good Cop Bad Cop and that tiny conversation with Tony in Masquerade, it was a huge missed opportunity. Ziva's trauma is never something the show took the time to explore in depth and it is weirdly satisfying to see her now - to see her openly struggling with mental illness, talking about it with people, trying to get better. After everything she has gone through Ziva needs time to heal and I'm so glad the show has acknowledged that.

Another element of how Ziva's emotions are vocalised in the episodes - it seems surreal but these episodes are pretty much the first time we hear first-hand from Ziva what Tony means to her. When you think about the sort of significant emotional conversations the two of them had, it was almost always Tony who was baring his feelings ("couldn't live without you", "in your life", "contents priceless", "post elevator us", "i'm fighting for you", etc). With the exception of the last words she ever said on-screen to Tony, Ziva was always about the unspoken. Think about all the people who have spoken more on Ziva's feelings for Tony than she has over the years - Ducky, Abby, McGee reading from her diary, Dina Bashan, even EJ to an extent. To hear directly from Ziva that she considers Tony her family in the same way as we have seen Tony fighting for her over the years is so special.

On the topic of family, Ziva spent much of her later years on the show pondering her future and her ideas of permanence. 7x07 "I came to NCIS to settle down, to make a home for myself" / 8x14 "I want something permanent. Something that can't be taken away." and talking about how she thought the prospect of kids and a family was far out of her reach. To see her now, knowing exactly what she wants, recognising that she has a family and fighting to get back to them is such valuable growth. I really hope her next episodes can end with her reunited with them and ready to move onto the next chapter of her life.

Getting to see mum!Ziva fighting with everything she has for Tali, seeing how many years she has spent protecting her and Tony from the people trying to hurt her, seeing how much it's killing her being away from them, all good stuff. I can't wait to see Ziva reunited with her little girl.

I don't think the episodes are perfect by any means but I think they did well at paying tribute to who Ziva is as a character and echoing back to her previous time on the show. There are so many incredible parallels in these episodes to past scenes:

Ziva remembering Tony in the bullpen, paralleling Tony remembering Ziva in the bullpen in 13x24. I've spoken about this before but I think Ziva seeing a young Tony rather than the Tony that she 'knew' can actually have meaning beyond just "he looks up like Ziva did in Tony's scene". It reminded me of when Tony was looking for Ziva in WTF/PPF and he's at Ziva's old apartment block from her childhood with Adam and he sees teenage Ziva. It also made me think of how Ziva was in PPF, how she believed that she brought all this misery onto people. Almost as if she was remembering Tony from a time before she met him and everything that went wrong between them happened.

(Bonus:) The way Ziva looks at Tony's desk with a little grin when she walks in before looking at her own desk is the exact same thing she does when she first appears in 3x01

Ziva holding her necklace, paralleling Tony holding Ziva's necklace in 13x24. This one is my favourite. The way the two of them both grasp for the necklace - their connection to their family, when they are worried and want support. Tony is watching the house fire on screen clutching Ziva's necklace like a rosary praying she's safe. Ziva is having a panic attack from missing their daughter and she clutches her necklace as a way to ground herself. The way both of them seek comfort in the same way just ughh my heart

Ziva's "no, I will not be convinced", paralleling Tony's "no, I can't" in 13x24. They're both arguing and fighting for each other, the way they both desperately say "no" is so sad. I wouldn't say Gibbs wasn't aware of the lengths each of them would go to for the other, and that arguing with them was useless, but (especially in the case of Ziva) he still wanted to protect them.

Ziva coming down into Gibbs basement, paralleling when she killed Ari in 3x02. I have a LOT of mixed feelings about the retconning of why Ziva killed Ari and I still see it as her having a genuine desire to protect and show loyalty to Gibbs. In a way that is exactly what she's doing in 17x01, she's resurfaced after all these years because someone knows they can get to her through him. Her loyalty to Gibbs is a constant even as everything else changes.

Ziva telling Ducky "it's complicated" when he asks about Tony, paralleling Ziva saying to Tony "Complicated, complicated, complicated. You know in America, I have noticed they use that word as a code for 'if I explain it you would not agree, therefore I will use the word complicated and hope you stop asking.'" in 4x22

McGee telling Ziva it's a "miracle" to see her back from the dead, paralleling McGee asking Ziva "do you believe in miracles?" when they think Tony has died in 5x01. I watched 5x01 the other day and I just thought this was a cute throwback

[why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee]

Day 2 (November 25) - Favourite Episode - Jet Lag

[kandaandapanda]

I just realized

That Ziva was 22 (almost 23) when she started at NCIS. At that point she was fluent in 5 languages and an all-around competent badass. I’m 23... what am I doing with my life

Also, Tony is at least 11 years older than her... same age gap as my grandparents

[zivaweek]

Hi, I hope you’re enjoying all the great content. If you or anyone else wants to create something, please do! Just tag this account or message it to me because I don’t think I’ll be checking the #zivadavidweek2019 tag after tomorrow.

there’s a @zivaweek going on?why no one tell me??

[slouchingprovocatively]

ziva david week 2019 day 1: an underrated friendship ↳ courtney krieger, identity crisis (because every other friendship i love is pretty rated, and ziva initially disliking her so much but coming to joke with her and get her number to teach her is adorable)

[slouchingprovocatively]

ziva david week 2019 day 3: favourite zivaism ↳ family secret

[slouchingprovocatively]

ziva david week 2019 day 5: a quote you associate with her ↳ gone

[slouchingprovocatively]

ziva david week 2019 day 4: most badass moment ↳ out of the darkness

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Week Day 6: Hope For Her Future

My hope for Ziva’s future?

That she will one day dance with the man who truly loves her.

(screencap credit here)

I want Ziva to find peace. 

I want the threats against her and her family to stop.

I want her to find the things she wanted before “Shabbat Shalom” knocked everything off course forever: to find her something permanent, find her place where she belongs, find her purpose once again.

I want the writers to let her ride off into the sunset with her daughter and her partner.

Ziva was used as drama bait for years. It’s time she gets her happy ending.

I don’t need much. Do I want to see her and Tony get to be sexy and domestic and sweet and comforting? Of course. Do I think we’re going to get to see that? Not really, because this is not their show anymore and they will never be on it long enough outside of guest appearances for the fans to get everything they’ve dreamed of.

But I want to know that she’s living her best life off-screen somewhere. Where she gets to take her daughter to school every morning, and go to a job that fulfills her (lol like that mini-fic I wrote after the premiere), and come home each night to the man that she’s loved in one way or another for the last 14 years. 

Where she still has bad days, but the good days outnumber them, and luckily now she has the support system to cope with her wounds.

Where she gets to see the friends she left behind all those years ago, and gets to be a part of their lives, just like they will with her.

I want the bad guys of the world to take notice, and collectively move on from Ziva. There are a million other fictional people out there to terrorize, guys, leave Ziva alone already.

I want her to get to live in the city she loves for awhile out in the open, stopping at her favourite cafés and strolling the sidewalks with her family, and walking everywhere and drinking it all in. But then I want her and her family to move back to DC because home is where the heart is, and their hearts are with their found family too.

I want Ziva to get the ring and the piece of paper that seals the deal and make a home, and drive a hot car and get a dog, and dance to her heart’s content.

I just want Ziva to be happy.

That’s all.

[benditlikepress]

Ziva David Week Day 3: Favourite Ziva-isms

* "Will you tell me her name if I find the pirates copy of ARES?" "Pirated copy." "That's what I said." "No, you said 'pirates copy'. A pirate is a person, like Captain Jack Sparrow." "Who?" "Johnny Depp." "He's a pirate?" "No, he's an ACTOR. How did we get here?" "I drove."

* "I hit a stone wall." "Brick wall." "No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly."

* "I like computers. And.. that stuff.... you do with.. the yarn." "Knitting?"

* "He couldn't keep it in his damn pants." "Keep what in his pants?" "... You're kidding, right?" "Dancing?" "Yeah. Dancing."

* "Does a bear sit in the woods?" ".. Are you the crackerjack team on this job?" "Look, I know I got the bear thing right."

* "I can understand your feelings of alienation." "Everyone is avoiding me! Do they think I'm going to lose control, just enter the building and massacre everyone? I am being treated like a leopard."

* "It's yard sale day." "I see. And do Marines sell their yards often?"

* "I've hung a net." ".... I do not know who Annette is, or why you are so proud of killing her."

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Week Day 2: Favourite episode

I’m gonna cheat here and pick 2, because they go together: Hiatus Part 1 & 2.

(Once again, all screencaps courtesy of NCIS Source. Part 1 and Part 2)

I love Ziva in these two episodes, because we get insight into her feelings in a way we haven’t really so far in the series at this point, and I think it sets up so much of what comes later on, arguably even into the present day.

Yes, the story focuses mainly on Gibbs’ and his amnesia, and Ziva doesn’t have as large a role in these episodes as she would later on, but her scenes pack a punch, and her presence is what ultimately brings the Gibbs they all know and love back. 

We get to see Ziva run the whole gamut of emotions, from lighthearted to devastated to snarky to angry to compassionate, and each moment is allowed its own time to shine. It’s quite surprised watching this with the benefit of hindsight to see how integral her role is to the story, especially towards Gibbs, given that at this point she is the newest team member. As we come to learn, though, she also has the most unique connection of any of them to their fearless leader.

I love how the episode opens up with the Three Musketeers on what they think is just another stakeout, teasing each other about movies and generally being idiots.

I mean, how adorable is Ziva when Tony makes the “Sound of Music” reference and she lights up, because she loves that movie? It’s a shame Tony shushed her when she was about to belt out the theme, because as we now know, Ziva’s got some pipes on her. (If only you knew, Tony.)

Ziva was allowed to be jokey and funny and even girly at times in the early episodes, and it’s moments like this where you can actually see how young Ziva is, despite her demeanour. She is competent and professional, but she is also only what, 23 at this point? Most young women her age are still hanging out with their friends at bars on weekends between studying for finals or working their entry-level jobs, whereas she’s trying to save the world from bad guys. She’s so serious so much of the time that it tickles me when we get to see this playful side to her, and not in the “flirty with Tony until he starts sweating” kind of way, but in an almost childlike, joyful manner.

Of course, it’s short-lived in this episode, because Gibbs gets himself blown up right in front of them and all hell breaks loose.

After that, we see Ziva go right into professional mode, and we bump into the first of many conflicts about the outside world’s assumptions about her.

Ducky is the first (of many) to question her ability to feel affection and compassion, when he is astounded that she didn’t ask the paramedics which hospital they took Gibbs to. Ziva rightfully answers that she had a job to do, that once she made sure Gibbs was being taken care of by medical professionals, she then moved onto her job, which was to immediately secure the crime scene -- which is exactly what Gibbs would have done. She knew he was in good hands so she worked on what she was good at, because she had a mission to accomplish.

(lol sidebar, I had my first aid recert the other week and the trainer was emphasizing how your job as first on the scene is to administer cpr until the medical professionals arrive, but when they do take over, your job is done, you can’t carry that with you because you don’t have the training they do, you do your best and that’s enough -- and I feel like that’s exactly the mindset Ziva has.)

Of course, once Ziva pointedly tells him she was a little busy dealing with a fucking explosion to remember to ask which hospital Gibbs was at, Ducky absentmindedly says that Tony or McGee will know, and that stings, because it’s the first of many implications that she doesn’t care enough, and they do. Which we all know is false, but this is a running theme in the show (as we talked about yesterday with Damon’s episode) about how the Ziva the world seems to see isn’t who she really is inside, and she struggles to show herself in ways people understand, because she isn’t outwardly demonstrative in the manner that, say, Abby is. 

“Ziva I’m not implying you don’t care. I know you care.”

It’s too late though, because the words have already sunk in. You don’t care. We all know that’s not true, and Ziva knows it’s not true, but that is all people see of her, and it rattles her.

Never mind that a year ago, before she moved to the US, that would probably be seen as an asset to her father, an indication that she can detach to get the job done. But as we now know, she never really could detach -- she just repressed. That no one would have questioned whether she cared enough to remember which hospital her coworker was at -- but that’s also because no one probably cared enough about her as a person to question her own motives. 

But now she has something to hold onto. She cares about these people, and she cares what they think, which is why it’s so frustrating when she doesn’t seem to be living up to their expectations.

I feel so much for her here, because we know that she is just doing her job. The best thing she can do right now is to investigate, like she’s been trained to do for the last year, because that is what they need to do to help Gibbs. But her cooler head prevailing kind of exposes the downside of how close their unit is, because when her doing her job is seen as suspicious, it exposes them to greater troubles in times of crisis like these.

Meanwhile, what impresses me so much is precisely how quickly Ziva jumps into action. She is really fucking good at her job. This job that she chose, for the first time in her life, and one she loves. She gets shit done, fast. She is the one who secures the crime scene, directs technicians to their posts, surveys what equipment they need and where, all before Ducky gets there. She has absolutely flourished under Gibbs’ wing, and even just this short time later, she is already demonstrating leadership qualities.

Case in point: when they’re back on the ship, Ziva is the one who is able to survey the scene of the explosion and identify its similarities to a suicide bomber, both because of her own experience growing up in Israel and being a part of Mossad, I’m sure, but also because she has been observing and studying over this past year. While McGee is sick at the sight of blood, unable to really do his job to its fullest here, it’s Ziva who kind of takes charge, and plays second to Tony’s Agent in Charge. (No slight on McGee -- it’s just further evidence of how Ziva has taken to this, and that her background is an unfortunate asset to her in this kind of work.) I think that Tony recognizes that, too.

Yet, a quiet moment that is oddly beautiful is when they are at the crime scene, and Ziva notices that it’s raining.

It’s such a tonal shift from the rest of the scene, but it’s like the rain is so soothing to her, especially in that moment. I’m not quite sure why this stands out so much, why they made a point of her being comforted by that. Is it because she would welcome the rain on the rare times it happened when she was a kid? Is it because it’s going to wash away the wreck of the day? Does it offer her a clean slate? Who knows! She just seems transfixed in a way that is un-Ziva-like.

So it goes for both of the episodes: It is Ziva’s professionalism that actually helps them, and we really see her investigative skills shine. I imagine that is because the work gives her something to focus on when everything and everyone else seem to be falling apart. But the great thing is that this is the whole reason she came to NCIS, whether she intended for it to be or not: she is making choices for herself and thinking for herself. She gets to take charge on leads and check into things that don’t feel right. She has gained an independence of body and mind in DC that she never really knew she needed when she was still working for her father. 

She’s on a roll, here. She’s fired up about the case, not only because it directly involves Gibbs, but because she’s looking at the puzzle and knows something isn’t right. “What is wrong with this picture?” she asks, because she realizes the track they’re on doesn’t make sense, regardless of whatever issues are going in within the team. And when she points all that out, I love that Tony has her back: “Damn good summation.” Because he can tease her as much as he’d like, but he had no problem admitting when she is right, and that’s what he needs.

And another thing I love about this, because I am Tiva trash (although this isn’t a Tiva episode) is that it quickly becomes evident how bonded Tony and Ziva are, too. Not just in a romantic sense, but professionally-speaking as well. For instance, from the outset, Abby is quick to remind Tony that he is not Gibbs, even though as senior agent he is in charge. There’s an air of petulance to it, knocking him down for being too haughty, but the thing is, he is doing his job. (In retrospect, these are... really not good episodes for Abs.) So other people joke about Tony impersonating Gibbs, but Ziva is the only one who backs him up, and not in a dramatic, show-y fashion, but through her actions. She doesn’t doubt him, she follows his lead, she does as she’s told not because she’s a doormat, but because she knows what they have to all do to move the investigation along, and she knows that Tony knows and that is why he is ordering them. (That may be the impetus for a fanfic I wrote years ago lol.)

In turn, it also becomes obvious how much Tony has come to rely on Ziva, too. Throughout the episode, she becomes the one he bounces ideas off of, confides in over his suspicions that they’re missing something.  He knows that Ziva is the only one who doesn’t resent him, doesn’t make fun of him for throwing ideas out there, actually treats him like he is their boss, albeit in the interim. It’s not just because they like to flirt or get into each other’s pants, it’s because they’re both professionals and recognize that in each other, especially in this time of crisis.

But, they are indeed in a time of crisis, and all this emotional upheaval does eventually get to our baby agent.

First, we had the accusation by Ducky, and then later on, after an ill-advised attempt at black humour to Abby to defuse the tension, she is once again painted as an uncaring robot. (Like I said... this is not Abby’s finest hour.) It all leads to her mini-breakdown in the bathroom, when everything comes to a head. I’m struck now by how soft the scene is, how positively young and vulnerable Ziva is -- splashing her face with water, eyes full of tears, trying to get a hold of herself. How despite her no-nonsense demeanour, she is barely an adult herself, not that far removed from her girlhood dreams and traumas. And the very thing she does to be helpful -- sticking to the task at hand -- is what is isolating her from everyone around her.

She is hurt. 

Hurt that she is misunderstood. Hurt that people she’s come to consider friends  don’t seem to trust her. Hurt that she has no one to confide in.

We rarely see Ziva cry on this show, and this might be the softest moment she ever gets to experience. The memories she replays as she stares at her reflection -- Ducky insisting Tony and McGee would know when she wouldn’t, Abby’s anger at her -- are what she worries she reflects to the world. It is so heartbreaking to watch.

What it demonstrates, though, is how lost Ziva is without Gibbs there. How they all are. But what this arc does is show that Gibbs is the only one at this point who truly gets her. He did from day one, the second she pulled the trigger on Ari. He saw who she really was, the depths of her convictions, and he’s offered her a safe port in the storm of her life. And now on her own, without him to steady her course, she’s adrift. Because I think what these episodes show is that yes, Ziva has grown immensely and been allowed to blossom at NCIS, but she’s done so because Gibbs’ guidance to their whole team has given her the safe space and confidence to be who she is. Without him there to give her a safety net, she’s back to being just another soldier.

I don’t mean that in the sense that she does everything for him despite what the show will imply years later. What I mean is that like anyone else lucky enough to have a supportive parent, Gibbs’ presence in her life has given her the reassurance to be who she is, not who the world thinks she should be. Without him there, she is weighed down by others’ perceptions of her, and she starts internalizing them. (Which, holy shit, ends up coming back in season 17. Is this our first glimpse of anxiety-ridden Ziva?)

She is desperate to get him back, because that is the only way to get herself back

“What can I do?”  “Remember!”

Which is why she is the one who later confronts Amnesiac!Gibbs in his hospital room, because she is so desperate to get him back, to get herself back. It is so significant to the show’s canon that Ziva is the one to finally jog his memory, and again it is not a slight against the other characters, or an indication that she is better than them all (although personally I do think so because she is my favourite after all).

It’s not that he doesn’t love the others as much, or that his longer and deeper history with them isn’t as important. It’s that he and Ziva shared a profound experience together unlike any of the others, and that forged a deep connection. The second Ziva pulled the trigger on Ari, she sealed their fate. (Again which is why I hate the season 7 retcon of her actions, but ultimately the end result is that she shot him to save Gibbs, so it still mostly tracks.)

That leads to her even-bigger breakdown, because everything she’s been holding in for the last few days -- and ultimately for the last year -- comes to a head. Yes, she’s hurt over Gibbs’ accident and everyone’s dismissal of her, but really, she’s hurt over what happened with Ari which she’s never been allowed to process. She can’t deal with it at home in Israel because Ari was a loose cannon, a traitor who needed to be terminated. She can’t deal with it in DC, because there he was a villain who took the life of one of their own. 

But to her, he was her brother. The brother she loved and who she thought loved her, the one she grew up idolizing and shadowed professionally, the one she fought tooth and nail to save until she realized there was no choice. And she is never, ever allowed to grieve that. For fuck’s sake, we later learn that their own father ordered his execution. I would guess there probably wouldn’t be much thought to, you know, trauma counselling for his family, including Ziva, for what he put them through, or dealing with having to be the one to stop him. I imagine Eli’s advice was to forget about it and move on, which is part of why Ziva had to get the fuck out of Tel Aviv. 

(Sidebar: in my head canon, in the later years at some point post-Tiva, they’d be sitting around talking about things and the subject of Ari would come up, and Ziva would kind of clam up about it, and when Tony would ask her about it, she’d be like, “I know you guys don’t want to ever hear about him, because he was the monster who killed Kate, but... he was also my brother. He was the guy who taught me how to ride a bike and took me for car rides just to listen to music for hours and hours when things got bad between my mother and father and I can’t separate that from who he became. And I can’t ever say any of that out loud because what he did was awful but... he was my brother.”)

“What are you talking about?” “Ari! Ari killed Kate. And I... I killed Ari.” “... Your brother.” “Yes.” “You killed your brother to save me.”

This is just such a huge moment for them.

Because for Ziva, that is probably the first time she’s said those words out loud since it happened. And it’s probably the first time she’s let that grief spill out of her.

Probably the first time someone has comforted her for her loss.

And it is so, so important for her that someone recognizes that. That someone acknowledges the magnitude of what happened, of how it broke her. Of how she’s still broken.

That is the only moment of warmth anyone has shown her all episode, and frankly all series to date.

This isn’t Ziva with no feelings. This is Ziva with feelings so deep she can’t handle them, and they come bursting out in a giant fit of anguish. It’s such a monumental moment for her character, because it reflects all of what has happened in the season leading up to this point. Ziva hasn’t talked about Ari at all since she joined NCIS, since that moment in the elevator where Gibbs recognized what she did for him, and why she needed to break free and start over in DC, far away from her father. 

Because I imagine that to her father and Mossad, what she did was treated as professional. That she did her job.

But this wasn’t a job.

She killed her own brother to save another man.

A man who was a total stranger to her, but one who she knew to be good, and more importantly, the confirmation that her brother was not good, that he was not the man she thought he was, and that if she didn’t stop him, he was going to ruin other people’s lives.

(No wonder Ziva is still consumed with anxiety almost 15 years later.)

Ultimately, the reason Ziva’s breakdown triggers Gibbs’ memory again is because she gives him something to come back for. Gibbs was lost without Shannon and Kelly when he was in his first coma in 1991, and all these years later, his doctors have said that there’s no good reason for him to still be stuck in the past in his brain, because his injuries were not severe enough to warrant it. But he stays there because he can’t live without Shannon and Kelly. But here is Ziva, the woman who saved his life, chose his over that of her own family, and she is laying her emotions bare in front of him. And she needs him. That protection he offered her that night in his basement gave her a reason to live, and him as well. 

Reminding him of Ari was reminding herself of what she did, how she was in pain just like he was, and she needed a light to guide her way back. And it turns out he needed that too.

(Can you tell this is one of my favourite scenes ever?)

Ziva have him a reason to come back.

Which he does, thanks to her, and eventually they do solve their case, even if it ends in disaster, which in turn prompts him to leave the job behind. 

(OT: I have always loved how much trust Gibbs puts in Tony in his absence, how he entrusts Tony with the team when he decides to “retire”. TONY IS A GOOD TEAM LEADER AND THAT IS THE TEA. He did not deserve the crap he got from Abby and McGee about it. Again, Ziva is the only one who recognizes it.)

“I owe you, Ziva.” “I’ll collect, Jethro.” 

This is just so soft. Again, Ziva is still in a raw state, and she’s teary-eyed as she watches him give his goodbyes, then eventually to her. (Also, thank goodness this is the only time she calls him “Jethro” because it just sounds weird coming from any of the agents.) It is the most sincere and the most loaded of the goodbyes, because they have just shared another monumental experience together, alone, and it cuts deeply. 

Which is why today, in the year of our lord two-thousand-and-nineteen, we are still dealing with the aftermath of this. 

How their relationship is still this charged and steeped in personal trauma but also in this wartime-like spirit of saving your comrade in arms. 

How it’s natural that Ziva feels so hurt at Gibbs “abandoning” her (whether you agree with her or not), because once upon a time he was the person who saved her soul and help her heal, and gave her the opportunity to follow her own heart and her own path, and she ended up feeling lost without that. (Again, it’s up to you to believe if that is truly the case, but I think the point the show has made is that Ziva believes it, which this episode cemented.)

How Ziva is still riddled with guilt and self-doubt, who still believes she is a lost cause when people accuse her of being unfeeling. 

How Ziva’s heart is actually so huge, and it’s a miracle she found her place in NCIS so that she could start letting the world know it.

It’s just... I have so many feelings about these scenes, and I could still talk about it for hours, but Day 2 is almost Day 3 and I gotta get this posted.

But I had to get this off my chest, because these episodes are SO IMPORTANT for her character. We learn a little bit about her and a lot about her heart, and she takes the lead as the emotional centre of the story for the arc. Because she remembers. 

----

Also more unrelated thoughts about why I love these episodes:

Ziva was allowed to be funny and lighthearted early on and I miss it. 

“What if those were Gibbs’ guts smushed all over that room?” The colour would be more coffee brown than red.” ZIVA! ZIVA IS SO FUNNY! Ah, gallows humour. I understand Abby was upset but THAT WAS A DAMN FUNNY JOKE. Again, Ziva was allowed to be so much funnier in first few seasons and it’s a shame the show wrote that out of her and replaced it with more trauma.

(Also the slap-fest was such a token male fantasy and it was gross. Stop it, Show.)

(But Abby deserved it a little because she was hysterical.)

“Never doubt an Israeli about diamonds” I don’t even know if that is an actual thing or just a Ziva-ism they made up, but, lol, Ziva sure does know a lot about diamonds for a girl who lives in cammo half the time. I know her dad taught her a lot about them bla bla bla secret slush funds I don’t care, Ziva is girly sometimes. Someone better put a ring on it.

We get to see Ziva use her considerable language skills in this episode! 

Including French!

Ziva can and will fuck your shit up:

[pro-bee]

Ziva David Week Day 4: Favourite Badass Moment

There are too many moments to name, because Ziva’s default mode is badass, let’s be real.

However, I enjoy these two moments in particular because of how they parallel each other.

(Screencaps courtesy of NCIS Source)

“The Americans will never trust your country again.” “It was easier than I thought, making you talk.” ... “How do you plan on proving that?” “I've been with NCIS for a year. I'm not just a killer anymore. I'm an investigator.”

- Shalom, season 4 episode 1.

(Transcript @ Springfield.)

I LOVE THIS MOMENT!

It’s not just because Ziva physically kicks this girl’s ass, although she does. But it’s because she kicks her ass figuratively too, playing her at her own game and setting a trap so that the woman confesses, without Ziva stooping down to her level.

It shows how much she’s learned in the short time she’s been in DC, and how quickly she’s adapted to her life there. And how much she values those skills. Ziva is renowned for her physical skills, but she’s a smart cookie too.

Which brings us to...

*image not available*

(Sorry, Tumblr’s search function sucks balls and I can’t find screencaps anywhere and I can’t screencap from my on demand so woe is me. If anyone has a link to a gif or cap, hook me up!)

“Actually, you're right on time. I transferred your assets, yes. But I also alerted Interpol. So when your people go to retrieve their money, they'll be arrested.” ... “Tell me: when I made the offer to you back there, were you playing me from the beginning? Or did you actually consider it?” “I don't kiss and show.”

- “Into the Light,” Season 17, episode 2

(Transcript @ Springfield)

It’s classic Ziva in season 17!

Holding bad guys at gun point! Playing on their weaknesses! Thinking 5 steps ahead and playing them at their own game! And a classic Ziva-ism for good measure! 

IN 2019!

We are blessed.

Don’t fuck with Ziva, y’all. You try setting her up and framing her, she will kick your ass.