#the creative impulse so many of us have

[casadegatos]

A music documentary is usually a lot of talking heads, music clips of “greatest hits” and “deep cuts” along with maybe some concert footage, fan reactions, home movies, etc. Perhaps there are some creative editing choices, or non-linear storytelling. But for the most part, music docs are pretty same-y from one to another. And there’s nothing wrong with that, I have enjoyed probably hundreds of such documentaries. I learned stuff I never knew, heard songs I hadn’t heard in decades sometimes, and sometimes gained a greater appreciation for an artist or genre I didn’t have before.

I went into Moonage Daydream expecting a music documentary, but what I got was something totally different. A basic timeline is followed, but weaving in and out of it recursively are tangents that get at the heart of what the creative process can be for an artist. Will you learn some things about David Bowie’s career and music? Yes. But you will also learn about how he saw himself as part of his art, how music, writing, painting, really all creative pursuits were inevitable for him.

Deliberately chosen songs thematically connect each section of the story. No talking heads, no bandmate recollections, no fan remembrances. Just David Bowie’s own words from interviews conducted throughout his career. He talks about what effect his spirituality had on him and his work, how emotions were or were not (variously) important to him while creating, how he relates to his own art, and how all of these things and more have changed and evolved throughout his life. You’ll hear him as a young man saying some things that he will directly contradict when he is older, but he doesn’t dismiss his more jejune observations from his youth. We are supremely lucky that he was an introspective and thorough thinker about his career and creative process. He puts his earlier commentary into perspective multiple times and we can hear how he evolved and changed his views on many aspects of his art and how he portrayed himself.

Visually, the filmmaker made some inspired creative choices. In choosing many clips of Bowie walking and showing the back of his head, the viewer is forced into his POV during some of the most candid and emotional admissions from him. The shift in time denoted by the Moon and Milky Way, accompanied by bright recoloring of some of the video footage used made it possible to see the way time was passing for Bowie and his career, and how it is passing the same way for us.

I really appreciated the way Brett Morgen avoided framing anything in a cliched way, the way many other documentaries and books about Bowie have done (the “chameleon”, etc). Those things are acknowledged through the historical footage of interviews where people said those things to him, but at no point does the film itself indulge in these cliches. As a lifelong Bowie fan, this is the documentary I have been waiting for, the one that speaks to what he really means as an artist to many of us who connected with his art throughout his career. At no point does the filmmaker judge any of Bowie’s work, he does that himself, but it doesn’t make you feel wrong for enjoying what might be considered his less than good output (what this is varies from person to person. For me, it’s Never Let Me Down). You are invited to continue to appreciate all of his art as you always have but with a richer understanding of what he saw in it himself.

I would recommend this for people who aren’t necessarily Bowie fans, people who are just casual fans, but also for people who are curious about how artists think and work. It’s more than a music documentary, it is a document of art.

[strawberryfaced]

I NEED. TO DO. OR MAKE SOMETHING. PLEASE

[smilesheartshugs]

One trop I can’t get enough of is Bart being Wally and Dick’s kid from the future. There arnt enough fics for this trope! Should I write some? Probably, but I don’t have the creative juices to write it.

But like I want Wally and Dick to find out Bart is their kid in the most absolute random way possible

Game night: Bart doesn’t think before calling Wally dad after doing something that Bart always saw durning family game nights but he doesn’t notice

Going to get ice cream: “dad you know I always get [insert ice cream flavors here that’s like ten scoops tall with an ungodly amount of toppings and sauces]” leaving Dick confused and just getting what he would normally get Wally. This is how Bart finds out his go to ice cream use to be Wally’s go to

Gotham patrol/ party: Batman notices that impulse move a little bit to much like a bat to be a coincidence. Nightwing is off in his own little bubble so doesn’t notice, Red Robin for some reason just never questions why Impulse would call him and superboy his uncles. (Let face it Tim was running on -4 hours of sleep when Bart called him uncles) and it’s not until years later when there was like a really big holiday party with all of the justice league, titans, and other hero teams and Bart just brings presents labeled for Dad, for Pa, and other family titles instead of anyone’s actual names and that’s how they find out while Bart was under the assumption that they already knew, it’s not like he was hiding it!

To many ideas and not enough writing juice

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Penguin Random House, AI, and writers’ rights

NEXT WEDNESDAY (October 23) at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, GEORGIA, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

My friend Teresa Nielsen Hayden is a wellspring of wise sayings, like "you're not responsible for what you do in other people's dreams," and my all time favorite, from the Napster era: "Just because you're on their side, it doesn't mean they're on your side."

The record labels hated Napster, and so did many musicians, and when those musicians sided with their labels in the legal and public relations campaigns against file-sharing, they lent both legal and public legitimacy to the labels' cause, which ultimately prevailed.

But the labels weren't on musicians' side. The demise of Napster and with it, the idea of a blanket-license system for internet music distribution (similar to the systems for radio, live performance, and canned music at venues and shops) firmly established that new services must obtain permission from the labels in order to operate.

That era is very good for the labels. The three-label cartel – Universal, Warner and Sony – was in a position to dictate terms like Spotify, who handed over billions of dollars worth of stock, and let the Big Three co-design the royalty scheme that Spotify would operate under.

If you know anything about Spotify payments, it's probably this: they are extremely unfavorable to artists. This is true – but that doesn't mean it's unfavorable to the Big Three labels. The Big Three get guaranteed monthly payments (much of which is booked as "unattributable royalties" that the labels can disperse or keep as they see fit), along with free inclusion on key playlists and other valuable services. What's more, the ultra-low payouts to artists increase the value of the labels' stock in Spotify, since the less Spotify has to pay for music, the better it looks to investors.

The Big Three – who own 70% of all music ever recorded, thanks to an orgy of mergers – make up the shortfall from these low per-stream rates with guaranteed payments and promo.

But the indy labels and musicians that account for the remaining 30% are out in the cold. They are locked into the same fractional-penny-per-stream royalty scheme as the Big Three, but they don't get gigantic monthly cash guarantees, and they have to pay the playlist placement the Big Three get for free.

Just because you're on their side, it doesn't mean they're on your side:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/12/streaming-doesnt-pay/#stunt-publishing

In a very important, material sense, creative workers – writers, filmmakers, photographers, illustrators, painters and musicians – are not on the same side as the labels, agencies, studios and publishers that bring our work to market. Those companies are not charities; they are driven to maximize profits and an important way to do that is to reduce costs, including and especially the cost of paying us for our work.

It's easy to miss this fact because the workers at these giant entertainment companies are our class allies. The same impulse to constrain payments to writers is in play when entertainment companies think about how much they pay editors, assistants, publicists, and the mail-room staff. These are the people that creative workers deal with on a day to day basis, and they are on our side, by and large, and it's easy to conflate these people with their employers.

This class war need not be the central fact of creative workers' relationship with our publishers, labels, studios, etc. When there are lots of these entertainment companies, they compete with one another for our work (and for the labor of the workers who bring that work to market), which increases our share of the profit our work produces.

But we live in an era of extreme market concentration in every sector, including entertainment, where we deal with five publishers, four studios, three labels, two ad-tech companies and a single company that controls all the ebooks and audiobooks. That concentration makes it much harder for artists to bargain effectively with entertainments companies, and that means that it's possible -likely, even – for entertainment companies to gain market advantages that aren't shared with creative workers. In other words, when your field is dominated by a cartel, you may be on on their side, but they're almost certainly not on your side.

This week, Penguin Random House, the largest publisher in the history of the human race, made headlines when it changed the copyright notice in its books to ban AI training:

https://www.thebookseller.com/news/penguin-random-house-underscores-copyright-protection-in-ai-rebuff

The copyright page now includes this phrase:

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems.

Many writers are celebrating this move as a victory for creative workers' rights over AI companies, who have raised hundreds of billions of dollars in part by promising our bosses that they can fire us and replace us with algorithms.

But these writers are assuming that just because they're on Penguin Random House's side, PRH is on their side. They're assuming that if PRH fights against AI companies training bots on their work for free, that this means PRH won't allow bots to be trained on their work at all.

This is a pretty naive take. What's far more likely is that PRH will use whatever legal rights it has to insist that AI companies pay it for the right to train chatbots on the books we write. It is vanishingly unlikely that PRH will share that license money with the writers whose books are then shoveled into the bot's training-hopper. It's also extremely likely that PRH will try to use the output of chatbots to erode our wages, or fire us altogether and replace our work with AI slop.

This is speculation on my part, but it's informed speculation. Note that PRH did not announce that it would allow authors to assert the contractual right to block their work from being used to train a chatbot, or that it was offering authors a share of any training license fees, or a share of the income from anything produced by bots that are trained on our work.

Indeed, as publishing boiled itself down from the thirty-some mid-sized publishers that flourished when I was a baby writer into the Big Five that dominate the field today, their contracts have gotten notably, materially worse for writers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/19/reasonable-agreement/

This is completely unsurprising. In any auction, the more serious bidders there are, the higher the final price will be. When there were thirty potential bidders for our work, we got a better deal on average than we do now, when there are at most five bidders.

Though this is self-evident, Penguin Random House insists that it's not true. Back when PRH was trying to buy Simon & Schuster (thereby reducing the Big Five publishers to the Big Four), they insisted that they would continue to bid against themselves, with editors at Simon & Schuster (a division of PRH) bidding against editors at Penguin (a division of PRH) and Random House (a division of PRH).

This is obvious nonsense, as Stephen King said when he testified against the merger (which was subsequently blocked by the court): "You might as well say you’re going to have a husband and wife bidding against each other for the same house. It would be sort of very gentlemanly and sort of, 'After you' and 'After you'":

https://apnews.com/article/stephen-king-government-and-politics-b3ab31d8d8369e7feed7ce454153a03c

Penguin Random House didn't become the largest publisher in history by publishing better books or doing better marketing. They attained their scale by buying out their rivals. The company is actually a kind of colony organism made up of dozens of once-independent publishers. Every one of those acquisitions reduced the bargaining power of writers, even writers who don't write for PRH, because the disappearance of a credible bidder for our work into the PRH corporate portfolio reduces the potential bidders for our work no matter who we're selling it to.

I predict that PRH will not allow its writers to add a clause to their contracts forbidding PRH from using their work to train an AI. That prediction is based on my direct experience with two of the other Big Five publishers, where I know for a fact that they point-blank refused to do this, and told the writer that any insistence on including this contract would lead to the offer being rescinded.

The Big Five have remarkably similar contracting terms. Or rather, unremarkably similar contracts, since concentrated industries tend to converge in their operational behavior. The Big Five are similar enough that it's generally understood that a writer who sues one of the Big Five publishers will likely find themselves blackballed at the rest.

My own agent gave me this advice when one of the Big Five stole more than $10,000 from me – canceled a project that I was part of because another person involved with it pulled out, and then took five figures out of the killfee specified in my contract, just because they could. My agent told me that even though I would certainly win that lawsuit, it would come at the cost of my career, since it would put me in bad odor with all of the Big Five.

The writers who are cheering on Penguin Random House's new copyright notice are operating under the mistaken belief that this will make it less likely that our bosses will buy an AI in hopes of replacing us with it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/09/ai-monkeys-paw/#bullied-schoolkids

That's not true. Giving Penguin Random House the right to demand license fees for AI training will do nothing to reduce the likelihood that Penguin Random House will choose to buy an AI in hopes of eroding our wages or firing us.

But something else will! The US Copyright Office has issued a series of rulings, upheld by the courts, asserting that nothing made by an AI can be copyrighted. By statute and international treaty, copyright is a right reserved for works of human creativity (that's why the "monkey selfie" can't be copyrighted):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/20/everything-made-by-an-ai-is-in-the-public-domain/

All other things being equal, entertainment companies would prefer to pay creative workers as little as possible (or nothing at all) for our work. But as strong as their preference for reducing payments to artists is, they are far more committed to being able to control who can copy, sell and distribute the works they release.

In other words, when confronted with a choice of "We don't have to pay artists anymore" and "Anyone can sell or give away our products and we won't get a dime from it," entertainment companies will pay artists all day long.

Remember that dope everyone laughed at because he scammed his way into winning an art contest with some AI slop then got angry because people were copying "his" picture? That guy's insistence that his slop should be entitled to copyright is far more dangerous than the original scam of pretending that he painted the slop in the first place:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/10/artist-appeals-copyright-denial-for-prize-winning-ai-generated-work/

If PRH was intervening in these Copyright Office AI copyrightability cases to say AI works can't be copyrighted, that would be an instance where we were on their side and they were on our side. The day they submit an amicus brief or rulemaking comment supporting no-copyright-for-AI, I'll sing their praises to the heavens.

But this change to PRH's copyright notice won't improve writers' bank-balances. Giving writers the ability to control AI training isn't going to stop PRH and other giant entertainment companies from training AIs with our work. They'll just say, "If you don't sign away the right to train an AI with your work, we won't publish you."

The biggest predictor of how much money an artist sees from the exploitation of their work isn't how many exclusive rights we have, it's how much bargaining power we have. When you bargain against five publishers, four studios or three labels, any new rights you get from Congress or the courts is simply transferred to them the next time you negotiate a contract.

As Rebecca Giblin and I write in our 2022 book Chokepoint Capitalism:

Giving a creative worker more copyright is like giving your bullied schoolkid more lunch money. No matter how much you give them, the bullies will take it all. Give your kid enough lunch money and the bullies will be able to bribe the principle to look the other way. Keep giving that kid lunch money and the bullies will be able to launch a global appeal demanding more lunch money for hungry kids!

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

As creative workers' fortunes have declined through the neoliberal era of mergers and consolidation, we've allowed ourselves to be distracted with campaigns to get us more copyright, rather than more bargaining power.

There are copyright policies that get us more bargaining power. Banning AI works from getting copyright gives us more bargaining power. After all, just because AI can't do our job, it doesn't follow that AI salesmen can't convince our bosses to fire us and replace us with incompetent AI:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

Then there's "copyright termination." Under the 1976 Copyright Act, creative workers can take back the copyright to their works after 35 years, even if they sign a contract giving up the copyright for its full term:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/26/take-it-back/

Creative workers from George Clinton to Stephen King to Stan Lee have converted this right to money – unlike, say, longer terms of copyright, which are simply transferred to entertainment companies through non-negotiable contractual clauses. Rather than joining our publishers in fighting for longer terms of copyright, we could be demanding shorter terms for copyright termination, say, the right to take back a popular book or song or movie or illustration after 14 years (as was the case in the original US copyright system), and resell it for more money as a risk-free, proven success.

Until then, remember, just because you're on their side, it doesn't mean they're on your side. They don't want to prevent AI slop from reducing your wages, they just want to make sure it's their AI slop puts you on the breadline.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/19/gander-sauce/#just-because-youre-on-their-side-it-doesnt-mean-theyre-on-your-side

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[sandersontheside]

My hot take is that if Roman were to "duck out" the way Virgil did in Accepting Anxiety, the result would be something akin to clinical depression. Roman has always been more than Thomas's creativity, he's also Thomas's drive, his passion, his desire. The motivation and ability to make art, or work, or even build relationships. All of that is wrapped up in Roman.

Sure, there are other motivating factors as we've seen in the videos on the topic. Logan motivates with the knowledge that work puts food on the table, Virgil motivates through fear. But Roman is the only one who motivates through love and joy, through hopes and dreams. Because while Patton is driven by emotion, he's more impulsive, more driven by what will make Thomas feel good in the moment, as opposed to Roman who while fanciful and emotional, is ultimately driven by plans and goals for the future.

Therefore, without Roman, Thomas would have no drive. No passion. No desire to make or do anything beyond base necessities for staying alive. No ability to see past immediate survival or imagine a possible happier future. No hopes and dreams. No spark. I don't even think Virgil's strongest panic could override a complete lack of passion for anything. Thomas would feel anxious and awful, but he still wouldn't be able to do anything.

And that's basically what clinical depression is. It's not just being sad--it's being exhausted, and numb, and unable to get out of bed in the morning because you just don't care about anything anymore. It's not finding joy in the things you used to love the most. It's feeling paralyzed because there are so many things you should be doing or you want to do, but you simply can't. Depression is, at its core, a lack of passion, joy, and drive.

[rosesnbooks]

✨Leo placements✨

disclaimer: i am not a professional and i write this posts for fun, so keep that in mind love

☀️sun in leo - these people have big hearts and they love, love attention. however, i have noticed that even though some like attention most of the time, others prefer it in an environment they can control, such as on stage, where they have rehearsed and know about the possible outcomes. they like to take care of themselves and enjoy life. they also love to spoil those they love, and their love is bright and warm. most of them are very creative and especially talented in one domain that they pursue bravely, such as cooking or writing. people notice them wherever they go, and they seem approachable and a little intense. what i mean by that is they seem excited and loud, which is lovely but too much for some people. this isn't true for all of them though; some can be shy to a certain degree when you meet them. they love talking and making people laugh, and this fuels them. they need people in their lives and cannot spend too much time alone. some time is needed for retrospect, which they usually use. they hate failing because it impacts them greatly, but many of them try to process this and continue like nothing happened. unless it is regarding matters of the heart, then it takes more time to get over someone

🌝moon in leo - they like to see the best in people, and sadly many of them get disappointed with time, but there's a part of them that never gives up on people. they are very sensitive deep down and can get hurt easily. their ego truly is an issue, but if they recognize this and work on it, they can develop healthy relationships with others and themselves. they are very creative, and when they focus on their tasks and things they love, they can excel at them and don't stop until what they're working on is up to their standards. they are curious about many things, which is why they may start a hobby and then disregard it with time if their heart wasn't really in it. when they are angry, they can be really harsh and impulsive, similarly to aries, but i feel like they feel sorry about it more than aries because whatever they said to you remains ingrained in their memory. some of them tend to be selfish because their own happiness and worries are their main priority, which isn't bad per se, but it can get out of hand. they hate to waste time and feel like their life has no purpose or impact. i noticed that they have a competitive nature, even when playing games...they just love winning.

🌼ascendant/rising in leo - vibrant, brave, optimistic, and a bit intense people at first glance. they have a strong hunger for happiness and passion. people mostly like them, but some have mixed opinions since some can feel overwhelmed by their energy and self-love. nevertheless, many appreciate their lively nature, and they are easily noticed wherever they go. even if you don't see them momentarily, you'll hear them because they are often loud and like to talk. they might have issues with overindulging in things like binge eating or spending too much money. they can have a strong desire to lead, and if not, they still want to contribute greatly to something and see their influence. they put effort into their looks if they have the time and money because they want to present themselves in the best light (for themselves and others). people usually notice them by their hair, and i'd also like to add that their eyes are very sparkly and focused, and that they may have really quick mannerisms.

🌻mercury in leo - quite expressive when they talk! humor is important to many of them, and they love people who can make them laugh. many tend to speak fast as well. their comedic timing is really good. if underdeveloped, they can be bad listeners and only want to focus on themselves and when it's their turn to talk. they also tend to have a smile on their face most of the time when speaking, just my personal observation. people are charmed by the way they communicate; they cannot help but feel warm. this placement is really passionate about various topics, and it is interesting to listen to them. they often like telling stories, and it feels like you're watching a movie play out because they are really into it and dramatic. there's a lot of passion in their speech, and while it can be over-the-top for some, many enjoy it. honestly, they are so cute. a downside could be their stubborn nature, which may limit their worldviews or general views on some things. they may seem carefree, but they are not, so approach them with kindness and respect.

⭐venus in leo - they love romance and are very loyal and dedicated partners. they need lots of excitement and adoration in their relationship to remain happy. being with someone who takes life too seriously, doesn't praise them enough, and is not really active as a person is a big no for this placement. they love praising people and giving them thoughtful gifts and watching your face light up when you open them. you'll feel super special with them if they think highly of you. they can get crushes from time to time, but if they love you and want to commit, it is harmless. they are very loving toward their friends and are loud about their affections. basically, they adore all love languages, but primarily quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch would be their top three (in my humble opinion). they also love going places with their loved ones because they have lots of energy and curiosity, and it's really fun to do anything with them. i'd also add that besides leo risings, i've found that leo venus also have curly or generally luscious hair.

♌mars in leo-very bold and a bit stubborn. they need to be active and pursue what they love in order to remain healthy and happy. they are go-getters and they love to spread their positive energy. their stamina is very good. despite their impulsive nature, they are very focused on their goals and try their best to be great. they often get what they want and might really dislike when things don't go their way, but they never give up. may be too stuck in their own ways without seeing the big picture or other perspectives, so they need to be more open-minded because this will help them achieve their goals and form healthier relationships. they are immensely proud of their achievements and especially of the things their loved ones achieved. they can get carried away by their passions, no matter how hard they try not to. their sweetness shines in this placement as well because they truly want to be friends with everyone. lastly, if you're their person, they will be extremely loyal to you

⚡saturn in leo—they may struggle with being more optimistic, putting themselves first, and taking leading roles in any area of their life. they can care too much about what people think or might think about them, so they need to snap out of it. they can be very strict with themselves and quit before even trying things out. just do it, hun; the only way out is through (sadly, but yeah). they are very capable people who already have everything they need within themselves, so trying things out even when scared can bring them lots of luck and, honestly, a better life. putting yourself out there doesn’t mean being vain, pathetic, or needy if you’re not hurting anyone in the process. this placement wants recognition deep down, but they remove themselves from such situations. i'm here to tell you that you’ll survive this and that you won’t lose your individuality in the process. you’ll gain confidence and naturally attract the people who are right for you. on the bonus side, they are often careful and responsible.

🏆jupiter in leo—people with this placement shine brightly when they are in the spotlight. they want to enjoy life and pursue their passions, and the happiness they feel during these moments is contagious. they are generous and inspiring, so many people admire them and feel influenced by them. their generosity is also admirable and fulfilling for them. they can thrive in creative environments and in those where they can express themselves. they are also often good with kids and expressing their childlike nature, which helps them enjoy life and see things more positively. basically, focusing on themselves and others is what brings them luck and joy. they have leadership potential, and at the end of the day, they want someone to recognize their efforts, kindness, and talent, and give them lots of love.

thank you for reading!💛🧡

©rosesnbooks

[ilk-insolence]

Raph Is A Great Strategist

Numerous times in the show Raph has shown to have a preference for straightforwardly punching his problems away rather than think up a more complex solution. Like how his immediate fix to getting Mayhem out of the mirror in Mystic Library was to punch everything in the bathroom but the mirror. However, when Raph understands the situation requires more in depth strategy, he’s shown to be an incredibly capable tactician.

(long post ahead!)

In nearly all the plot heavy episodes like Shadow of Evil, Many Unhappy Returns, and the season finales, Raph gets moments where he’s highlighted for his strategic thinking. In Insane in the Mama Train, he’s the one who figures out which eyeball-button goes to the front car with the dark armor, because “‘it was the only button [the Foot Clan] didn’t want me to press!’” [21:05]. He’s also the one who came up with the scheme to defeat all the (known) combatants in the train, with Leo specifically attributing Raph as the deviser during their mind meld [19:46]. In Many Unhappy Returns, after spending a single night waylaying the Shredder, Raph formulated a plan using all the tricks the team learned, seamlessly transitioning the mystic collar Leo acquired into it [19:53], to defeating the Shredder. Additionally, he’s repeatedly called for a retreat during fights, like in Shadow of Evil, Shreddy or Not (Finale pt 2), and the movie, when he can tactically recognize that a battle couldn’t be won. Each time, the show/movie implied that that was the right call, for the family to lose the fight but win the war.

And it’s not just that Raph is good at strategy when he’s pushed to be more serious; the show characterizes him as passionate about creating plans, he enjoys doing it. Literally in the first episode, Mystic Mayhem, after the turtles’ initial plan failed of getting Splinter out of the living room to touch his Do-Not-Touch Cabinet, Raph immediately started devising a new plan that involved “ten chickens [and] a gallon of rubber cement” [9:35]. It was convoluted, sure, and they didn’t end up using it, but it was inventive and the opposite of reluctant. This is also shown in Bug Busters, where Raph planned out dousing Mikey in honey to attract the oozequitoes [2:52]; Snow Day, with the idea to freeze Ghost Bear like in Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4; and Raph’s Ride-Along (and also Bad Hair Day), where Mind Raph created multiple schemes to get the criminals arrested. The show wouldn’t have made Raph be so creative with his plans if they were trying to characterize him as someone who didn’t like strategizing.

So does why Raph do stupid shit sometimes where he doesn’t think things through at all? Well, even though Raph is good at strategy and enjoys doing it, it’s clear his immediate impulse is still “punch the problem in the face”. In fact, all the turtle boys contain the fascinating dichotomy of being incredibly smart in some areas, and the dumbest teenagers alive in others. Just look at Donnie. It’s also how Raph is a loving protective older brother, and the guy who shoved Leo into a wall so hard he disappeared in one frame for shits and giggles (The Mutant Menace x). None of this means that Raph is bad at strategy though.

tldr: Yeah, Raph has a lot of dumb and, frankly, insane moments in the show, but he’s still an incredible tactician who’s plans consistently saved his family and sometimes the world. He's a great strategist.

[1864reruns]

ㅤㅤㅤgratefulness (i'm sorry, can this be over now?)ㅤ౨ৎㅤ12.9k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ2024 ©1864RERUNS

oneㅤ/ㅤtwo synopsis. luffy loves you— you know this with how abundantly clear love is in every ministration of his outstretched hand and a grin— yet your traitorous heart demands more, even though you're in no place to give him your loyalty. you know this so you do not demand his love nor to be saved, even when met with a relentlessly stretched hand.

warning(s). gn! reader, hanahaki disease, but some creatively liberated variation of it, angst, hurt/some comfort, slow burn, but does it really count if nothing happens?, unrequited love, pining and the works, background character death, blood, violent imagery, vague allusion to an unspecified mental disorder that involves eating habits (pls be careful!!!), luffy tries his best to be kind but it's cruel, reader spirals 🙏; minimal editing and proofreading (these are basically my thoughts raw and unadulterated)

from vyon. the card game they play is a vietnamese one also known as smth like thirteen in english and has too many rules to explain but it doesn't really matter :3 i was a beast at that game though i fear; this fanfic has been in my drafts for so long, it also grew into too big of a project than it was meant to be. i also had to split this up into two parts, it was getting too long, i'm sorry ＞︿＜

do not repost / copy / translate.

Once you know Monkey D. Luffy, you'll know his heart not a few minutes after. He's welded the unmoving, burning ingot to his bicep, always on display due to his amassing collection of armless vests; rubber skin melted around the golden gem, oozing past the lines of his beating heart to staple it there, an anomaly on the expanse of skin not otherwise susceptible to bullets or cannons. Your captain is a man that lives with his heart on his tongue, always ready to dictate the lay of your next move with an irregular beat that drums against the skinned men of war and an impulsivity that makes his crew scramble after him exasperatedly; oxygen taken from his cerebral arteries to his brain are stained in the grease and oil that stick to the meat he handles so carelessly. In the same endearing way, he's careless with his heart, allows for the small stuff to momentarily prick his heart, for judgement to cloud into anger before it picks up on the bitter taste of agony.

It's always easy to get a frown onto Luffy's face. Feign disinterest in his stories; make yourself too busy to help him look for strange insects; force him to shower, scold him after he does something he wasn't meant to; keep him away from something he seems interested in; starve him for more than five minutes— he makes it all exceptionally too easy. You're not audacious enough to claim to know Luffy any more than the Strawhats, especially not those that he had met in East Blue; you try not to let it bother you that they managed to meet a younger Luffy who had so many holes in his defence, whose smile threatened through skin more, who had yet to find scars in his palm from how hard he had to clench his fists.

To you, it seems unfair that Luffy had managed to uncover so many of your firsts. His unwavering presence by your side as you learnt how hard it was to live on sea, the intonations of your screaming when a marine canon was pointed at you, to live so freely away from the confines of restrictive justice, how it felt to have a hand in yours to promise forever and then some. Luffy has no preferential treatment when it comes to people he loves; he treats them all the same, no hierarchy could dream to disrupt that.

With the same sandals he uses to stomp on the faces of Marine's, he could demand food from Sanji, money from Nami, Zoro to play with him— instead, you watch him whine Sanji, food and dissolve into a puddle when his cook orders him to wait, he allows Nami's fists to fall onto his head when he makes any financially impulsive decision (or even thinks them), and he idles himself with drawing on Zoro's face with Usopp and Chopper, with the previous two of them taking the psychical brunt of their consequences. (Chopper is let off with a mere promise that he won't join in with their shenanigans again when it involves making Zoro into a fool and a growing bump underneath his hat.)

Luffy, from second to fourth gear, is tender aggression when it is love.

His form is bizarrely respectful when the door opens and light dawns upon your face; you see him through the gaps of Nami and Sanji's legs and towering forms over him, his hands on his thighs and feet tucked underneath his bottom. He slurs out an I'm sorry that lets you know that his face is definitely messed up and then follows up with an I was hungry though!

Then Nami messes him up some more for his shitty justification.

She leaves him— some caricature of her anger— on the floor with her hands on her hips and Sanji trailing after her with hearts in his eyes at her dominant display of power. As she passes Brook, he asks for the colour of her underwear and earns himself the same treatment. It's then that you laugh. Luffy snapped his head up, following after the trembling air of your laughter and then calls out your name, the syllables are all messy around his swollen cheeks and a missing tooth that will come back after a few minutes but you cannot rid yourself of the thought that it's sticky with love that you only remember hearing when you were just a babe, screaming and crying in the arms of a tired and ill mother in a hospital. You were introduced to a group of midwives with same love you hear now, their idle finger catching into both your small hands; Luffy's hand dances across the air, breaking apart your laugh with urgency and catching onto your wrist.

You're not sure if it's you who had been pulled to him or if he'd managed to catapult himself into you but you both end up a mess on the floor regardless. Limbs tangled around each other in a wave as you both fall to the deck, Luffy does not correct the length of his arm and takes to wrapping the limb around you like a vine snaked around the trunk of a tree. You don't know a start nor an end as Luffy nuzzles his beat–up face on your shoulder. "Hey captain," you raise your head to look down on him, trying to wrench a hand through the tight spirals he's coiled around you.

"I'm hungry," he whines in lieu of a response, "and I'm bored, Usopp kicked me out after I ate one of his ketchup stars." He doesn't relent with his hold on you, simply loosening the coil that you're trying to work your hand through before tightening again once your arm makes it past to trap it against your side. You don't question the fact that Usopp's ketchup stars may be laced with gunpowder or what the small dose of gunpowder may have done to Luffy's internal organs.

You guess even Usopp has his limits when it comes to his childish captain. "I can't do a lot about either of those things if you're keeping me hostage here." He looks up at you, his exaggeratedly large lips in a pout that matches the swelling of his cheeks and then says your name again, like you’ve done him wrong. It's a disordered collection of the letters again but you find you can't really do anything to fight against it. Instead, green tendrils sprout from your trapped arm, each vine wrapped in a light of leaves and strain against his extended limb before he gives in and, instead, laughs as he wraps his rubber arm around the spindly, twisted branches splitting open layers of skin on your bicep. His skin coloured against the green runner keeps the bine from wilting down to meet gravity.

You let Luffy do whatever he wants, with an expression that you're not sure you're too familiar with etched out on the lines of your face. Thinking back on it, you could've simply done as Nami had or Usopp, ignore or scold him enough into submission but his fingers catch one of the fronds and it curls between the meat of his fingertips, reaching out to tickle his palm and something soft blooms inside you. You know it must be you, not the work of your devil fruit, because as much as you've tried in your lacklustre pursuit of beauty, you've never been able to sprout any kind of flowers.

When Luffy finally lets you go, you find your way into the kitchen and give Sanji a smile. You apologise for interrupting him and tell him that you know that lunch had been served only an hour ago but, if he wasn't too busy, you were still a little peckish. Sanji shoots up immediately and asks you what you've got a taste for— you assure him any leftovers from lunch will do and he tells you, though this doesn't come as any surprise, that Luffy had worked his way through any grain of leftovers with a laugh. You laugh along with him and well, you seemed to be craving meat right now.

The plate he prepares seem to be more about quality rather than quantity, with sauce underneath the red meat drizzled across the white ceramic, a slab of meat already cut into bite sized pieces for you and a decorative herb stuck between the fatty slices but when the light oozes down into the stretch of meat, you don't think Luffy will complain too much.

You, of course, were right about that.

The shattering grin he greets you (the plate of meat, however small it seemed) with gives you the faint smell of sticky rain drenched in the light of the sun, and you almost give him your hand when he reaches out for the plate. Brook's guitar strums in the background and your heart shakes in time with his strings and Luffy's incessant chewing.

You've really no problems with Usopp asking you to help him with target practice, it's fairly common for you to help the crew with their unique fighting style— save Nami and Franky for fear of losing your life with their less than particular aimed area of damage— it's easy enough really. You don't even have to be mentally present for it; shaking through layers of flesh, vines grow across the deck of the Sunny and rise up straight to tower over Usopp as he fixes his goggles over his eyes. You keep a quarter of your mind instilled in every chloroplast that shivers across the skies so you can keep them moving but the other three quarters are focused on the card game you play with Robin, Chopper, and Franky.

You hear the snapping of elastic and your finger twitches against the back of playing cards as the particular vine shot to the left, glancing curiously at Chopper's hand across from you when he turned to Franky and accuses him of looking at his cards.

"It's not my fault!" Franky frowned, fixing his comedically small glasses to perch on his metal nose. "Your cards just happen to be in my view when I'm looking at the pile 'cause you're tiny!"

Chopper takes to this horribly (you reshape a vine that has fallen to one of Usopp's stones and keep it relentless across the wave of air) and he grows into the much less cute and broader, more human version of himself to hold his hand out of Franky's view. (Two vines snap together and they take the path to slice through air to where Usopp stands, you hear the cracking of wood as Usopp shouts at you, saying he only wanted to focus on offence. An apology is drawn out with the green arm in the air.)

"Ivy," your eyes flicker to Robin and she gestures to the pile of discarded where the two of spades had been placed on top. "It's your turn." You glance down at your hand, eyes flickering over the collection of 7's in your hand. 

"Bomb." (You feel a vine break apart into pieces, think about the fact that it's lucky you've no nerves attached to the tendrils, and keep the one down to give Usopp a little win.) Franky curses your name as Robin chuckles.

Chopper glances at the four 7's with a sense of wonderment that you're sure is too dramatic for the moment. "No wonder I had no sevens!" You give him a sly grin and watch Robin pass her turn, ignoring Franky's levelled glare behind his glasses.

In the end, Robin wins anyways, ridding herself of her hand with her final card being the two of hearts. The loss is taken bitterly by both you and Franky though you think Franky definitely takes it worse than you do as when he stands to sulk away, cards fall out of his speedos, and they leave a trail after him. Robin, in all her morbidity, laughs behind a hand as you and Chopper drop your jaws in disgust.

Chopper collects the cards, hesitating with the ones that had been on Franky until Robin points out that you've all played many rounds and there's a chance that all of them had shared the same fate. (Another vine shutters down to the floor, broken apart and particles flown across the deck.) The cards slowly fall to the floor as Chopper cries out in disgust. Shaking your head with some colourful amusement, you use the two vines fallen to pick up the cards and start shuffling them.

Responding to Chopper's call, Luffy shoots his way from Sunny's figurehead. "What're you guys doin'?" He falls graciously to where Franky had previously been sitting; his eyes are ever so impatient to glance over the cards being shuffled. "Oh," he says with great interest, "are you guys playing 'go fish'?" He leaned towards you— the cards in your possession, actually— and blinks at the shuffling. "Lemme in!"

"We weren't playing 'go fish', Luffy." The little doctor has since calmed down, taking a seat between Luffy and Robin and shaking his head. "We were playing—" he turns his head up to Robin, to which she supplies 'bài tiến lên' with the intricate accents and all, "that!"

A flash of thinking places itself on Luffy's face, crossing his arm and tapping the side of his sandals on the deck, then it's gone. "Let's just play 'go fish' then."

Chopper whines, saying that 'go fish' is boring and that Luffy always snatches more than one card from other people's hands, which is cheating, and that he doesn't want to play.

Luffy turns to you with a pout, eyebrows furrowed at the dip where his nose bridge starts and then straightened out towards the end. The two vines that had been expertly dodging all of Usopp's shots and taunting him by doing silly dances and twisting into words in the air both crumple down to the floor at the same time, they follow the curve of your spine as you double over, a breath stuttering in your throat. You hear Usopp call your name and the deck of cards slip out from the vines that had been shuffling this entire time, your hand wraps around your throat and you hack out a cough you've managed to choke on.

"Are you dying?" Chopper shoots up, frantic as you keep coughing and choking— both violent in temperament, and scampers around, shouting for a doctor.

Footsteps tap closer as a shadow forms over you, Usopp's hand patting your back ferociously comes after the sound of shoes stop.

The blur that came with tears invading your eyes gives you the confidence to look at Luffy again before you're calling Chopper to a stop. "I'm fine, just choked on air."

You don't mention how it felt like you were breathing through a cheesecloth, how your lungs feel so restricted with every inhale as you all compromise on 'chase the ace' and how easier it feels when Usopp pushes his way between you and Luffy, too intimidated to pick from Robin's hand; when you all finish up for dinner, Robin is looking at you in a way that makes you think she's caught onto how you've been struggling.

Dinner is a strange ordeal. It's characterised with its usual events: Luffy sneaking his hands into people's plates though his stands full, Usopp trying to hold his plate out of his way, Zoro tending to his glass bottle of beer, Sanji making some quip about Zoro's show of alcoholism, Nami getting increasingly annoyed by the noise around her, Brook's laughter, Zoro escalating the situation with Sanji, Chopper screaming when Luffy clears Usopp's plate and then goes for the doctor's, Robin watching the scene with the patience of a saint, Franky pretending he was better than the rest, Usopp exacting revenge on Luffy by swapping their plates. It all ends with Nami telling them all to shut up and Luffy taking one final chicken leg from Zoro's plate. You stare down at your plate and count the missing bits, Luffy hasn't really touched any of the potatoes or asparagus, so you finish them up.

Two chicken thighs sit in stark contrast to the plate, thinking about having them anywhere near your mouth makes you a little sick for some reason, the weight of them in your stomach, the taste of caramelised skins, crisped with wells of juice sat next to a tinge of burnt flesh; you push the plate over to Luffy and detest the way he can take the colour of well–done oranges between his teeth and not care about the juice dribbling down his chin.

Luffy says thanks with his mouth full of chicken; Nami glares at him and turns a more concerned face to you (that also makes you sick) and inquires about you not eating. You mumble out some excuse about not being hungry, not feeling well, having a little bit of a headache, feeling tired— something along those faux lines, you don't remember but you remember that you don't tell them the truth exactly. "Sorry Sanji," you fix into your shitty excuse after, running a hand through your hair, to make yourself feel better about the entire ordeal.

He offers to make you a more palatable porridge or soup instead.

You take a cigarette and a red apple, going to bed hungry and angry at some unknown thing that brews on the tip of your tongue.

The next island is of great interest to Luffy.

The entire crew knows that its history nor culture was not either reason behind his excitement, only the mere prospect of digging his sandals into new, uncharted land is why he's running around the deck, filling up the empty spaces with bubbling laughter. Sanji finishes up bentos for those that are leaving, taking unnecessary extra care with Nami’s, and wishing he had it in him to starve Zoro whilst Nami is giving everyone an allowance. You take two bentos, yours and Chopper's, and head out onto the deck. Luffy only seemed momentarily sad that you were going with the doctor but bounced back immediately after when the trees come closer enough to intimidate so you push down the offer to join him instead. Franky joins up with Usopp, Luffy'll run off alone regardless of who he ends up going with, Nami ends up going with Zoro (to Sanji's displeasure), and you and Chopper make plans to find a pharmacy and a library for Robin.

Being around Chopper is easy enough with this unsettling prick of poison that's forced minimal responses, curt words, a flurry of tiredness, a sickening chill through your days recently. The little doctor is a lot more mindful of changes in mood, it's not any imminent injury either so he doesn't press to know why. Out of guilt (for being a brooding asshole lately), you ask him about his rumble balls and all his different forms. He answers cheerily and you can only pick out every other word with a persistent headache as the smell in the air changes from salty skies and bloody fish to sweetened foods and something unfamiliarly clean.

It's a bright island. You hear a faint bell in the distance that is traced over with the sound of children and stall owners; Chopper's hooves rhythmically sound beside you on the pavement and you find yourself counting them in groups of four. "Ah, there." You pick up your head and turn to follow the direction of Chopper's eyes. A sign is hung on the side of the building, the library. "Robin wanted a book of North Blue diseases for some reason," Chopper mumbles to himself as you two push open the door.

It's a small bookstore, walls lined with books and the paths carved with more standalone bookcases. "North Blue diseases?" You repeat, confused, "do they have North Blue exclusive illnesses?"

Your question goes unanswered, though it looks like it opens a vault of new questions for Chopper. Books aren't of great interests to you, so you follow behind Chopper as he walks through each section and grab whichever book he tells you to bring down for him. On the way back, you tell Chopper to keep going and change your course in search of something you're not too sure of.

You stray away from the town centre and head deeper through the small alleys of the town, there's no destination in mind; without the urgency of a fights and with the domesticity of a small knit community, you wander adrift. There's a dampness in the air to the walk around a shadowed hide of the place that loosens up the tension below your ribs, many different eyes follow after your form as the heel of your shoes click against a null path; shadows ooze around the soles of your shoe and lacquer up between the carved maze of black rubber of your soles until you find your way into a dead end.

It's a little bit of a cliché to be met with a ragtag group of delinquents when you turn to go back. Your eyes trace over them. In the hand of the one closest to you sits your wanted poster.

Something blooms inside you again— it's a much more pleasant feeling than the unmoving sap of ire that's been invading lately. Each man before you is physically bigger, towering over you ominously and shadows eating you but they all have swords and guns in their hands and that's why they lose. You, to the detriment of all life around you, are a weapon in and of itself; you choke out the vitality from others and steal their nutrients. They strained against their confines as their skin blossoms through shades of blooms, you are not the merciful rubber of a human, so your constraints don't relent, they squeeze and squeeze until the bark splits apart, until blood is cut off at the source, until they wither, until you are full.

On the way back, you buy a gift for everyone with the money you hadn't used and when they take to it, all in their varying degrees of joy, you feel less bad about the dead end alley full of brothers and sons. You tell yourself, handing Zoro a gift of alcohol, if not them, then it'd have been you.

You end up staying anchored to the island for a week to your displeasure. The longer you're stuck there, the closer you are to exploding; you always keep an eye out on the log pose strapped to Nami's wrist like you could quicken the process if you stare enough. Usopp starts avoiding you out of fear you'll blow like a poorly constructed cannon, Zoro makes you train with him to see if it'll help blow off some steam, Sanji brings you iced drinks at a rate that keeps you dizzy but you always feed it to Luffy or redirect it to Chopper's or Usopp's office with a little note.

On the third day, you follow in Zoro's example and sprawl out on the deck to rest your tireless mind. You've always wondered how sleep was ever a possible option for him when the feet thundering across the deck came with obstructive vibrations, no doubt slapping any chance of sleep away from his mind, but you find that it's almost pleasant. Beats all from familiar loves translates through the groves of wooden planks and etch through the back of your spine, you feel a bone fall back into place after Nami's heels against the floor and the thunderous kick that lands where Zoro was standing manages to work its way up your head to ease a headache.

The sun burns cries into your eyes and the skies move fluidly, they don't ripple as clouds shrivel against a light blue you're unfamiliar with; even as you close your eyes, you continue to feel the burn of the sun. The slapping of weaved straw against a sticky, sweaty sole then the deck comes as you slip into sleep.

Dreams have never been so amicable enough to become a recurrent in your life; more often than not, you're shown memories all blended together into a mess that leaves you sick, the abhorrent now and the nostalgic then bleeding past their confines until you see your mother stood next to that deceitful Marine admiral, both with that same look in their face. You wake up with a start when a loud bang scours its way through a flurry images you're unfamiliar with and then your body escapes you. Your head weighs with the heaviness of the bodies dropped to the floor, arms cold as if dipped into the river Styx, bones locked in place with a restrictive pain, muscles burning, aware of every breath that shivers through your suddenly odd body.

"Owww," three Luffys blur around each other as you pushed a hand to the floor to straighten up, you try blinking away the other two, but they're glued to the captain reflecting in your eyes; he looks down at what he's tripped on and follows it back to you. Your hand is met with something curved in shape when you go to push yourself up and when you look down, you see vines underneath you. You realise then that a burst of them had grown beneath you, splitting through the lawn deck and uplifting some of the planks underneath the greenery and inching upwards towards the guard rails of the ship. They take the form of something you think you met in your most recent sleep.

Luffy has managed to crawl his way towards you in the time you spend wondering why your devil fruit had been acting up— in your sleep no less and he wraps a hand around your ankle to get your attention. "Hey, you're really cold." He pointed out, eyes flickering down to the flesh between his fingers and then trailing his fingers up your thigh as he shifts closer to you on his knees.

The touch makes you violent and tender. "Really?" You managed to puff out, giving too much air back to the world with how much you're panting, "I feel a little warm though."

Luffy hums, clapping his hand over your cheeks with gentleness he only shows to those he loves, and it feels wrong. You get an itch underneath your skin that urges you to move, move, move but you can only push Luffy away with a ferocity he'd never shown you as you tremble under the bursting of violent air hacking up your throat, your shoulders strain as you wrapped your arms around your stomach, trying to heave out something that wasn't there.

Luffy scrambles back immediately, not caring for you shoving him away, and soothes away the rattling of your core with his clammy hands on your arm. "Are you sick?"

No, you think as a retch comes up your mouth; maybe, you correct as the path is marked by drool slipping down your chin and tears streaking across your cheeks. You shake away Luffy again. He's less submissive this time, his legs open over yours to plant his knees by your thighs. You hear him call for Chopper and it's obvious he has something of a frown marked on his face; you keep burning beneath your skin, but Luffy keeps rubbing his palms over your arms like you're cold.

You realise what your vines had drawn underneath you when Chopper comes out, fretting over you as he takes Luffy's place close to you. A grave. The image makes you laugh as the reindeer instructs his captain to haul you up after you'd ignored his inquires on if you could walk; your arm bends around the shape of Luffy's shoulder and your laughter erratically convulses into a collection of coughs from the skin on skin high.

You forced into bed rest after Chopper does a preliminary round of tests on you and declares you've simply gone down with a cold. You take to the diagnosis apprehensively, though in Chopper's defence, how was he meant to accurately diagnose you if you don't tell him all your symptoms? Instead, you sit in his office and spend the minutes, all alone, trying to retch out the feeling of having a piece of hair down your throat; you claw at the blanket and keep hacking until you've got a blanket full of tears and spit. The feeling does not pass.

At lunch, you get a visit from Franky who comes by to complain that you've made unnecessary work for him. "—seriously, how did you manage that in your sleep? Were you having a nightmare?" He ranted, legs crossed and leaned back in the visitor chair in a way that pushes his skinny, hairy legs close to your face.

Scrunching up your face, you sit up. "It was the future." You rebut, in between all his fantastical stories of his nightmares and talking about how he'd never attack Sunny even if Chopper grew a mechanical, giant arm and overthrew Luffy to become their captain. "A future," you correct yourself before turning to Franky with eyes judgemental, "are you scared of Chopper?"

"You weren't there at Enies Lobby," he tells you, which serves as a cruel reminder of sorts. You think about all the scars you've seen littered on the crew's skin and wonder which ones they've collected while they were with Luffy and who knows of which. The faint, protruding marks underneath Nami's tattoo, the stitches around Zoro's ankles, the ones pulled across his chest; you wonder if Sanji's got one hidden underneath his bangs. "The future?" Franky repeats after a moment, "are you a prophet?"

"It's a working theory," you brush off instead. "Though I can see in my mind's eye that Luffy is currently eating all the food and you’ll be left to starve if you don't go back."

Franky scrambled up from the seat not a second after your words.

With him gone, you settle back onto the bed and wonder about too many things to recall.

Between the hours after lunch and before dinner, Luffy comes by. He settles himself on the bed and forces you up as well, the shifting causes another cough to burgeon in your throat and you turn your head the other way to spit it out in an uncontrolled group of four. "You're not feeling better?" He frowns.

You see now that he's holding two pieces of barbequed meat in his hand, he's got the bone in his palm as he holds it upright like a sword, juices from the flesh dripping down to his hand and the smell gives you a headache. "Do you want this?" You move your eyes to Luffy, he's got his eyebrows furrowed together and his lips straightened out in a line when you don't answer. "Both?" He looks over at you, then the meat, and then you. "You," he swallows, "you can have them," his knuckles turn red around the bone, "since you need energy and you're sick." You think he's trying to convince himself to give them up.

You reached out and watch Luffy's face turn sour as his expression squeezes altogether around a midpoint trapped in his nose; you retract your hand and watch his face relax and his body unwind, you think he's moved his hand back a little. You repeat it again a few more times until laughter comes up and dislodges the uncomfortable feel of hair set deep in your throat. "It's fine, Luffy, you can have 'em."

"Really?"

"Mhm, go for it."

He moans around a bite of meat, crying your name as he chews and says thank you. The feeling is back as soon as it left.

No one comes to visit after that. Chopper comes by before he heads off to bed to make sure you're all set for the night and tells you that he expects to be woken up if you feel any symptoms get worse. You agree to his conditions, though can barely make yourself seem like you were taking him seriously with his cute face scolding you, but it seemed to work well enough as he's gone after he leaves a cup of water by your side. Sleep lingers around the corner, shirking away from your twitching fingertips and restless eyes; you give up after a few minutes, thinking about Robin who'd been thrown on watch tonight.

After going back and forth on the details, you bundle up yourself in the blanket (not wanting to have to mimic any semblance of serious guilt to get through Chopper's less than intimidating scolding if you get any sicker in the morning) and wander to the deck. The darkness of the sea would be safe for you, twisting around every limb extended to grope your way through your chosen path and oozing out from strands of hair to empty at your feet if not for the lamp of the moon ahead of you. Its light a forecast of tragedy, reflecting off a blade that would drive through the blood of a man who faced an unlikely love with only disgust and betrayal. "Robin?" The light hangs onto your word with a vehemence to uncover your unjustifiable deeds.

"Ivy," a shudder of surprise rattles your head to duck to your shoulders as you turn around. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

You give Robin a frown, tugging your lips down. "Yeah, my weakened bones nearly fell to the floor." She huffs a laugh. "Please announce yourself before you appear." Robin traces over your palish face and your features soften into a smile when your eyes meet.

"Can't sleep?" She asks once you two settle at the side of the Sunny where you'd napped earlier today, some of your vines still wedged between planks and parts of the floor haphazardly missing. You lean your back against the side of the ship and lower your eyes to the floor.

It's a total void, welcoming you back home. "No," you answer, a little breathless. The moon doesn't shuttle into the hole of the deck and something reaches a hand out for you between the atoms of a black hole. Roots twist out, easing close to your feet and sinking beneath the soles of your shoes. "I napped a little earlier." It's safe.

Robin hummed— I know rattles through her hum— and her elbow falls onto the guard rail of the ship. For the next few moments, you regret coming out. Robin's always been more receptive to the details and fine lines; it's not surprising that she can nitpick through a flurry of fronts and covers to the feelings you want to hide. They beckon out to her, wanting to fill that hole that's grown smaller with every day she wakes up to the open seas and the lively sound of her crew. "Chopper said you were sick?"

"A cold," you sniffle, bringing the blanket closer to you. Finding some semblance of confidence inside you, your eyes flicker over to Robin but she isn't looking at you— only turns when she feels your gaze levelled on her. You hesitate, searching for something to say and land on extending an arm and opening the blanket to invite her into your bundle. "You cold?"

She laughs, "it's fine, you should go back in if you've got a cold though." Her head tilted with a smile, "it'll be bad if the night air makes you worse."

Not wanting to find yourself softened in moonlight nor her eyes, you nod and bid her a goodnight before shivering your way back into your room. The door opens and light from Sunny's hallway is swallowed into the darkness of your room before it's banished out with the slam of your door, you shuffle around odd things thrown on the floor and slip into bed.

Your sleep is broken through with intervals with coughing, curling into yourself, shivering still though you burn in the night like a sibling of a star. When you wake up, sometime in the afternoon, you're heaving and reaching out your arms all around your duvet to haul together the skin that feels like it's melted down. Your palms prick against the leaves of vines that have overtaken your room, they fluoresce around your body and branch outwards to all corners of your room. The mess all blur together as your brain thrashes in your head with every splutter, you shake and twitch, trying to make sense of anything. Skin burned raw as you attempt to kick away the shrubbery that's keeping the blanket contorted around your body.

Your throat skinned and crude with its imminent thoughts of water.

A hand reached back blindly to grope at your bedside table for the cup that Chopper left for you last night. What you find instead is the burning touch of the sun, it seeps through the micro wounds stabbed through lines of your fortune and inflames every nerve straight to your heart. Your hand snaps back towards your body, the bones shivering from the imminent heat. Your entire body twitches at different paces, an invasive and hungry need drowns your senses. You need water, you need not for this to happen, water, you need for your sleep to be calm, you need to stop burning, you want to stop losing control, water first. You want water. Water— you turn your head to find the water, you need— Luffy?

Luffy is sat on a chair that you don't remember being there and when you look a little closer, you see that your vines had granted him a throne to comfortably lay on, other than that, they avoid him like the near plague. His body is leaned forward, his chest laid against the side of your mattress and arms crossed on your bed to sleep on like a pillow. You retch up some acid and, like the bowed head of a priest, a gentle petal disrupts the stream, flowing against the tide. It's a beautiful purple colour that's light against the transition to white towards the middle and an eye-catching yellow streaking against the white; lines of a deeper hue stretch through the petal and it's oddly reminiscent of veins.

The petal sits on the puddle of stomach acid that warms your thighs, your head bowed down to stare at it; you feel your soul unfurl at the sight of it, branches stretched outwards over a riverside, the heavy head of buds pulling weighted branches down to drink from the stream. Everything else blurs with a ripple, the petal is withstanding no matter no much you try blinking away an oncoming headache. The river near dries up in your attempt to wash down this unnerving disgust; you hunger for more.

Little changes when you find out what this 'cold' truly was. The lighting in Sunny's library is several shades warmer than the light of the sun, it draws upon the hunched shoulders down to your back as you tilt your head to hear the bones crack under your ear. Four syllables, that's all your death is. A lot of words are four syllables. Anonymous; unfortunate; hilarious; adventurous; hanahaki. It doesn't mean a lot by itself, so you try giving it some context. You pretend to tell Chopper that you're dying, you have hanahaki and that it's something he can't cure in a way you'll accept and you still feel nothing. You think about Chopper's face. He adamantly tells you that he'll cure you, he'll do it. The you in your imagination tells him no. Faced with your refusal, Chopper cannot do anything. In the end, it is a grave that cures you.

Death, as it stands, was something you had accepted when you stepped onto a pirate ship. Even someone with as stubborn a character as Zoro could be welcomed in by death, even Luffy. For a while, you wonder about death. The air in the room pauses as if to grace you with the silence to ponder on it, all you hear is the sound of your own breathing.

The closest thing to death comes searching for you a few minutes later.

You've always been interested in Brook. A skeleton with nothing but a sword; he has no lungs yet still sings, no heart and still smiles, dead but human in all his actions and behaviours. "There you are." He sneaks up behind you, bones falling onto your shoulder as you think, he smiles down at you. "Luffy asked if I’d seen you earlier.” He looms over you for a moment before he's straightening back up and calling out loudly, "but I'm a skeleton so it's not like I have eyes to see anyone anyways!"

It's the two syllables 'Lu–ffy' that shakes you the most. You stifle a cough in your chest and feel it tear through your ribs instead, searching for a path out. "For what?" The breaths rattle in your chest and shudder through your words.

"He wanted to show you a beetle." He takes the seat next to you, peering down at the picture book that you have open. You wait for him to make a comment about seeing what you were reading before disregarding it all with a lack of eyeballs so he wasn't seeing it really but he doesn't say anything, so you're forced to talk instead.

"Brook."

"Yes?"

It takes a single breath to prepare you to say this, it's warm and evident that you've not yet truly succumbed to your illness. "Do you see yourself as dead?"

Death is the art of those who do not live. It's something that keeps people tethered to the moment; it's the one thing that keeps humans humane. It's evidence you've lived, no matter how full nor how long. She's beautiful in her own right.

"I cannot see myself as anything because I am a skeleton with no eyes!"

Brook does not get to elaborate because Luffy shuttles in moments later, whispering loudly. (He'd learned somewhere that you're meant to be quiet in a library when he was younger but his whispers still manage to shake the room somehow.) "You're here! I found a beetle to show you!" He tip–toes to your side, "what're you reading— oh, hi Brook! The flowers here are pretty!" He points a finger down to a sunflower; his index covers an entire petal and he strokes it upwards to the middle. "Do you think they're edible?"

He turns to you with a smile.

You meet him with the same, "their seeds are." He gasps and picks up the book to scour through the letters in search of a name of these seeds. You take in a shuddering breath and when you feel another urge to cough, you cannot stop it.

When vines splatter around the room, they uproot the place; they've always been disruptive in this way. A wave of them washes various bouts of furniture to the floor, through the pounding of your ears, you hear the sound of books thudding as green appendages snake through bookcases and rattle them at the base; Brook's chair collapses as a vine chokes out one of its legs into splinters, the world blurs into a hue of greens and purples. A hand reaches from down in your throat, you heave around gaps of allowance for air and gag, cough, retch up more acid and some tea that Sanji brewed earlier this morning in lieu of breakfast. It's unpleasant. It's ugly in a way death should not be, though you guess the dead don't get to choose how to live in the same way the living cannot choose their death.

You're hauled off to Chopper again.

Chopper's voice comes as the hollow sounds of keys on an old piano. He does another round of tests on you— this set lasts a little longer than the previous and he takes extra caution with some. He finds that your heart is a little faster than it should be, he nitpicks at the bluish tint around your fingers and notes the concerning amount of weight you've lost in the past few weeks. When he asks you, what's wrong, you tell him that that's what he should be telling you.

Hypoxia; another four syllables for your cause of death. "Some of the symptoms are there," Chopper frowns, mumbling to himself. "It's when your tissues aren't getting enough oxygen, do you have difficulty breathing?"

You placed your cheek into your palm, elbow on Chopper's desk. "You're a pretty good doctor, Chopper."

The effect is immediate, he starts blushing and kicking his legs in his seat, a hoof goes to rub at the back of his head and nervous laughter comes from him. "That isn't distracting me at all, you bastard." You smiled and watched the compliment break any semblance of professionalism in him.

He gets back on track a little while later, placing a stethoscope on your chest and asking you to cough. You're not sure exactly what he's looking for but you give a soft cough into your elbow and you can say for certain— just based off the way he jumps back and looks at you a little quietly for a second, it's nothing good. Chopper spends a few minutes looking at your fingertips, then your lips, then some other parts of skin already exposed and humming to himself, troubled.

For now, he says, he wants you to try not to exert yourself— maybe leave fighting to everyone else and focus on resting until he can figure out a better way to confidently diagnose you. His lips are pulled into a frown, hands in his lap and trying his best to be professional and keep his emotions at bay. Before you know it, your hand is on top of his pink hat and fondly rubbing over the material softly. "Thanks Chopper, I'll keep that in mind."

He nods. You hesitate for a second before you're getting up to leave so that everyone else can see that you're not dying— or maybe you should tell them you are, you're not sure you could take another session of Franky accusing you of destroying the Sunny to create more work for him.

Your hand wraps around the doorknob and twists, stopping when Chopper speaks again. "You're not hiding something from me," he accuses gently, "are you?"

Your hand tightens around the doorknob. A flash of that imaginary Chopper comes back to you— heartbroken and confused at your refusal to be cured— you steal an unnecessarily large breath from the world. "I get sudden cravings for sweet things if that means anything."

Chopper, unbeknownst to you, takes those words and carves them true and raw into himself. His eyes are unwilling to leave you for more than necessary during the times you eat together, he watches you push aside the food on your plate, tearing small bits of meat off the bone to chew on it for a couple minutes too long before swallowing. He makes note of the way you have no problems finishing up everything but any sort of meat, sliding them over to Luffy, or one of his victims.

You're met with another blossom soon after lunch. You've made a bad habit of leaving the table early to escape the smell and resign yourself to the open deck, sprawling out on the grass like Zoro usually does. You're certain you're about to fall asleep shivering but the slap, slap, slapping of your captain's sandals are nearing closer so your brain kicks awake with a start; your eyes twitch, eyelashes shuddering in the wind. The darkness over your eyes morphs into a shadow of Luffy hovering over you, head tilting with a hand on his hat— your mind supplies you with the frown— and then you hear him taking a step back and sitting down next to you.

A troubled melody hums through his lips and when you open an eye to peek at him, you see his hands wrapped around his ankles, legs loosely crossed; he turned back to you and you quickly close your eyes. Here is where you finally learn that when Luffy touches, he's never placated with a simple tap, a light knocking between skin— no, he must stroke, he drags his fingers up the side of your thigh, he shivers from the coldness of your flesh and, even then, crawls closer. Then he's silent for a worrying amount of time and for a moment, curiosity takes you over. You find yourself wanting to draw light upon the disgusted features when he's met with someone he thinks close to him is growing closer and closer to a grave amongst the roots.

He leans his forehead against yours whilst you shuffle through the despicable crawl of your heart through your bones, something shifts in you and when you reach to itch at your side, it dislodges. It takes no more than a simple flip for your entire world to shift; you think you saw Luffy hovering over you momentarily before you had snapped to the side.

A fragment of the world greets its end.

Something strangles you, a hand of a giant pressing two fingers against the sides of your neck until everything in you bursts and splatters against parts that have gone unknown until now. There's nothing new to the tremor of vine that erupts through your skin, bubbling through the surface of flesh like a geyser; the tentacles claw their way your throat until you're choking around them, searching for an allowance for air. Your knees shuffle up to find some balance, head ducked to meet the lawn across the deck and elbows digging deep into the dirt. Your spluttering comes in time with the sound of Luffy calling your name, shouting for Chopper; there's a knot tied inside your mouth, you shake away tremors and tears all the same. You erupt yet there's nothing to be burnt, it's only ash that leaves your mouth— only the colourful petals of the wisteria plant that wash over the green of the open deck, burnt in hues with blood.

The next island is a spring island, known for their sweet peaches and sweeter music.

You watched Luffy devour two peaches in his hands, the ripe skin melting underneath his teeth— pale with a dusted blush until it snapped into a bloody red, melted at the pit. Then he's gone with a rustle of mikan trees as you held out a basket for Nami to delicately place her mikans in; apparently, she'd managed to catch the attention of some peach vendor with her sweet tangerines and swindled the poor man out of his money for a basket.

The streets are lined with lively hums and a strumming of odd instruments, music escapes through every crevice of a worn-down building as Luffy jumps from stall to stall, drooling over the goods before you're beckoning him back with his lunchbox and a promise of meat after you finish this errand for Nami. On your way to the stall, you hear faint chattering that doesn't interest you but Luffy straightened up beside you and turns to stare at the people as they argue on who had managed to grow the biggest peach this year.

You sigh, grabbing hold of Luffy's collar when he stops to stare at them and drag him off to the stall vendor who had fallen victim to Nami's schemes. The exchange is easy enough— give him the basket (ignore the fact that Nami had managed to make it look like it was overflowing by artfully bunching up a cloth on the bottom and filled gaps between the fruits with flowers) and make sure you've got the correct amount of money. It's when Luffy asks the stall vendor who has the biggest peach this year that things begin to go downhill.

Rather than answering Luffy's question, the man goes on a tangent about some kind of festival for a God and how the biggest peach will be the offering to said God this year— apparently, Shumi (the woman who owns the fabrics shops) had managed to get her hands on this, that, or the other to help her husband grow a peach large enough to bring doubt to the fact that Gyupuri had managed to grow the largest peach (again) this year.

Luffy insists on tracking them both down to help the people come to a decision as he wiped away the drool on his chin. Resigned, you managed to find Shumi first with her shop being the only one in town that sold fabrics and she denies you both permission to see the peach; Gyupuri, on the other hand, is more than happy to show you to the peach he grows. He takes you straight out of town, into the forest, and then up the mountain to where there's a clearing full of nothing but flesh coloured peaches.

As you listen to Gyupuri's story on how he was merely taking after his father to grow these strangely sized peaches, you have to keep Luffy in your hold so he doesn't go running to the giant peach and take a bite out of what could be for a God. Somehow though, he manages to get a handful of flat peaches when you weren't looking and when you attempt to apologise to Gyupuri, he doesn't seem to be fazed, shoving a few more peaches into your hand and telling you it's fine.

"So, who is this God anyway?" Luffy asks, his legs wrapped around your waist and chin hooked on your shoulder as he leaned back, satisfied with cheeks full of the peach you were holding in your hand. You turn to give him a look, but he merely stares at you back.

The people here must have made a unanimous decision to answer questions from the left side of the field because Gyupuri only tells you the name of this God when he drags you and Luffy up a hill to stare at a statue of this God carved out of generic stone.

To be polite, you call the statue pretty; Luffy feels no need to be polite, so he says it's not really. When you look at him to furrow your eyebrows at him, he's already looking at you.

When you're back on the ship, money handed to Nami, you think about that moment so much that it grows moss in your mind and vines burst through the crevices of the worn–down artifact you've made out his gaze to be. You throw up everything you manage to eat and feel hollow and worthy when you meet Luffy's eyes in Chopper's office again.

There's a chill that follows your days after that.

It's persistent and stubborn in a way that cruelly reminds you of Luffy. On a brighter side, you've got an excuse to be lazy in bed though it irks your bones not to have the weight of you walking thrumming up your body. You get visits from the Strawhats, get your food delivered to you, some of the crew shuffling into your room to keep you entertained with some card games and the likes— you get Luffy consistently making his way into your room and treating it as any other room on his Sunny. He comes in, always makes himself home on the bed, and talks about what he did today. At some point, it becomes less endearing and more annoying to be treated as though you were actually dying. (You hadn't told them for a reason.)

Four days after Chopper had resolutely punished you with bed rest, Luffy decides that he was going to start sleeping in your room. Apparently, your face had translated over what your head was thinking too quickly because he starts whining, saying that he wouldn't get to see you enough if he doesn't do this and, well, since you've always had a tender, raw, skinned soft spot for the boy, you end up saying yes.

He spends his first night telling you what he was going to spend tomorrow doing and you come to the realisation that every other sentence contains you. (Going to find more beetles to show you... Chopper told Sanji it'd be good to get more meat into your diet... Zoro accidentally cut snakes and ladders in half so Nami is giving me money to see if we can find one for you so we can play... Robin said there's a really pretty flower on this next island… For you… For you...) It’s all there laid bare and you cannot face it. You hide your face into the crook of your elbow and wretch out a cough. Luffy frowns but doesn't mention it. He talks himself into sleep and you lay awake to him, trying to keep yourself from blooming throughout the night so he doesn't wake up, cold and still.

When you're startled awake with misty embrace in a dream, you see that Luffy has gone.

What he has left is his straw hat and a mouthpiece of his greatness. The straw is rough against your fingers, resembling the thorns that grows along roses and you stare at it in your lap until you can feel the roughness in your throat— just when you think you need to get water, Sanji shows up with breakfast. You eye the cigarette in his lips and ignore the settling of the tray on your bedside table, watch the smoke fight the smell of scrambled eggs and bits of bacon to take over your room.

"We're at an island?"

Sanji walks around your bed, finding himself comfortable on the couch across the foot of your bed. "We docked early this morning," you watched his smoke rise, ash falling to the wooden floor of your room, waving and grasping hands up to God. Sanji keeps himself entertained by looking around your room, his foot pushing around odd leaves and petals on the floor before he nods over to the plate. "Eat." Then he's gone.

You stare at the tray, settling Luffy's straw hat aside, you shuffle to the end of your bed and take the fork in your hands— you look at the plate until you swear you can taste the eggs in your mouth and the slight bursts of saltiness that'll come from the bacon and you have to wash it down with the glass of water he's given you. You push it aside and opt to go back to sleep.

You dream of a still life on top of a hill, overlooking a dock as the Sunny pulls back out into the sea; you thrash but find every part of you rooted down to one spot, the wind picks up and you feel tangles of what could be hair or leaves hitting against a part of your body. You're still rooted despairingly in a garden of silks and duvets when you wake, Luffy had found himself unable to keep away from your breakfast but when you sit up and look a little closer, you see a pile of the diced bacon bits shoved off to the side as he shovelled eggs into his mouth.

Shattering free from the earth with a faltering cough broken into four, you shuffled yourself up and spit out a cluster of wisteria. At this point, you do not need to look at Luffy to know what his face looks like; he turned to face you, cheeks full and quickly finishing the eggs to shuffle closer to you on the bed with a book in his hands. "You left your book under the plate."

It's a hardback children's book, pulled out of Sunny's library and coloured a light blue that resembled the sky and broken apart by a sunflower in the middle and petals around it, the title curled around the sunflower. You know that the book was left in the library when you were having your episode. The cover is smooth to the touch as Luffy gives it to you and ends up knocking his shoulders against yours in his attempt to get closer; your eyes moved over to the tray of food and you think of Sanji, who'd grown up in the North Blue where this children's story was more popular amongst the romantic commonwealth. 

He knows, you think, and it fills you with a dread that the wisteria blossoms feast upon delightfully; he knows, and he could tell everyone, the vines throb over your heart as Luffy opens the book over your lap and looks up, expectantly at you.

Myrsa was a pretty girl, enough so that praises sang for her ended up calling upon the scorn of love's Goddess. The depiction of her getting cursed is almost comical, stricken by lightning as she returns from a forest with a basket full of flowers and mushrooms. "What happens next? What happens next?" Luffy pushes his face closer to the book, tangling a rubbery leg with yours as he moves impossibly closer. "How does Myrsa beat up the God?"

It's the certainty he holds that Myrsa will beat up God that makes you laugh, it's the fact that she does not beat anything that makes you tremble, shaking coughs and petals out your throat. Luffy seems to think that the book is too excitable, trying to pry it away from you and saying that he can ask Robin to read it to him later so you should just rest. "Don't you want to know if Myrsa will beat up the God now?" You ask instead, knowing the answer will be yes.

Perhaps they were the wrong words to convince Luffy because when you're on the last page, Myrsa buried in a forgotten land and her love used as fertiliser for a field of sunflowers, he's threatening to beat up a God made up to exact revenge for Myrsa. It's a lot more cheerful than you had expected— all the characters drawn with round faces, small bodies, and black dots as eyes. It makes death seem redeemable. 

After Luffy hauls himself out of your room, in search of the God had turned Myrsa into sunflowers, you force the bacon down your mouth and bring the tray out to Sanji. You linger in the kitchen, eyes watching him as he scrubbed the dishes and danced around the kitchen, no doubt knowing why you were there. He doesn't seem to want to be the one to approach the topic just based on the way he refused to stop even for a moment for the past fifteen minutes you've been there.

You know nothing about Sanji past the fact that he's blond, he's a cook, and he used to be a prince from North Blue's Germa Kingdom.

"You know Myrsa didn't die because she had hanahaki." Your hip meets the edge of an island, arms crossed over your chest as you watched Sanji finally slow to a halt, throwing a glance over at you. He takes his cigarette between two fingers, breathing in for a moment and then takes it out, holding it out to you. "What she was cursed with, wasn't ever meant to be able to kill her."

"I know."

Sanji takes the cigarette back after you shake your head, shrugging a little as he continued. "Myrsa died."

You laugh a little, "I read the book."

There's a point he's trying to make that's as foreign to you as the notion of a love that doesn't hurt but he turns a glance to you that almost reads like he's disappointed in you and it settles nicely against the vines choking you through. You straighten up, uncrossing your arms and his visible eye wanders back over the pots he has boiling on the stove. "You liked the ending?" The ending of the North Blue story was a two–page spread of a sunflower field, a planet of bright yellows and a dull light blue, clouds breaking apart overwhelming tones of sunny golds and drowning diamonds.

A tree split awkwardly in half due to the spine of the book, curved in shape and pinched in the middle until you held the pages at the edges and pulled to straighten in down. "It was pretty," a gentle breeze running through the leaves shedding from the tree, a shiver to the wooden flesh that split apart if looked at the right way by the right man. Myrsa was beautiful, even in a death she didn't pick treated her well.

How could you hope to live when she did not?

You find a lot of things pretty now; you wonder if that's the dead crawling in you that is beginning to appreciate the life around. Robin sat on the deck with a cup of cooling coffee on a table in front of her and a book in her hand, Nami stood between her rows of mikan trees, Zoro straining under the weights of his responsibilities, Brook with a violin to his shoulder. The sky drowned over the ocean as Luffy leaned his head against you on Sunny's figurehead, his voice a soft beat over the water rushing against the hull of the ship. He's talking about Shanks and his dream and your heart aches selfishly; his skin gulps down the orange light of the dawning sun and you resigned yourself to a death loving him.

You wonder if Luffy still thinks of his dead brother, your tongue slips against the bark of your gums, and you open your mouth without thinking. "Luffy," you hear spoken into the wind, "will you tell me about your brother?"

"Sabo?" He's clapping his feet together excitedly, turning from the sky to you with a large grin on his face, "he's a part of the Revelation Army— no, wait revocation? Revenge Army? Renovation Army! Wait— that's not right."

"No, the other one." A whisper haunts the wind, 'the dead one' written in its movement.

There's a certain hesitation to his words that brings you to the realisation that being loved by Luffy is a wonderful thing. He's never been one to be articulate with words, picking the simple ones that come to mind first without a moment's hesitation but strangely the simple–minded way served him well when it came to love. Love is not articulate either— it's one of the simplest things in the world— so when it's met with someone like Luffy, it blossoms into an art form of all things beautiful.

You regret have not meeting Luffy when Ace was around. Dancing around his features is a tender skip of tightness; his shoulders pulled up to his ears, head ducked down, lips awkward and tongue thick as he told you the story of being accepted to be Ace's brother. Hues of embers fluoresce, dripping down on Sunny's figurehead as you reached an arm around him; his words are stained in blood and adoration, strained and slow but Luffy persists, his love persists.

"You should've met him!" He finishes, turning to you with a light chuckle. "You would've loved him."

Your hand falls onto his shoulder, pulling him closer despite the crawl of vomit up your throat and you leaned your head against his straw hat. "Maybe I will."

Death is another thing you think is simple. It's as easy as slipping into Chopper's office to find him hunched over his desk, his hooves holding onto a pestle as he circled the butt around in a mortar. "Ah, you're here?" He glanced over his shoulder as you walked around him and settled onto one of the beds he has in his room. "Give me a second! I nearly have your medicine ready."

"Chopper," you think you've played this out in your head before, "I have hanahaki."

His arms slow down to a halt, his face dropping by several degrees; the previous petals that made up his hopeful and cheerful expression flutter to the floor, guided by the winds you'd altered with those four words.

"Hanahaki?" Chopper's words are slow as he settled the pestle down, "I thought— but it doesn't exist?"

"Funnily enough, it died off." You tell him with a little laugh. "As more people took to the seas and chased after the one piece, less people fell victim to hanahaki." The Chopper you've told this to before in your mind was definitely less devastated and surprised to be greeted by the fact that you have hanahaki.

He's stumbling over his words, trying to pick something to focus on first as his face was scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed, and lips open into disbelief. "How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me? You'll have the surgery, right? You can trust me; I'll definitely save you. When did it first start?" Your head is pounding with the incessant questions he spits at you, unable to answer any of them as any allowance for a response was filled in by another inquiry. Suddenly, he's pulling his mind to a stop as he turned back to you, solemn and sad and asks, "who is it?" 

It's easy to tell how Luffy has touched people, Chopper makes note of the way your head tilts and you smile and it's obvious that there was no one else capable of calling upon your love.

"And the surgery?"

The look on your face, although foreign to you, tells him all he needs to know.

That doesn't stop him though, he keeps himself by your side and urges (pleads) you to have the surgery; his constant presence becomes a problem when he makes a point of forcing Luffy away from you. It's small at first, trying to distract Luffy with other things, claiming to want to be the one to watch over Luffy when you all dock so you're not given the chance, clinging onto your arms and demanding your attention when Luffy threatens to take it away from him. Then, when Luffy notices that he's been holding onto this flower for hours, fingers pinched around a sunflower stem to ask you how you get seeds from the flower to eat, and every time he's seen a speck of your colour from corners, Chopper shows up to drag you away or points a finger somewhere to shout about a meat mountain, he has a problem.

You notice it's about the meat mountain at first though.

He's slamming the door to Chopper's office after the fourth time, shouting, "Chopper! Where's the meat mountain you keep talking about?" He doesn't seem to care about the fact that Chopper is checking up on you as he stomps into the room, plopping himself down right next to you. Chopper pushes him away when your shoulders brush against each other and you're coughing out bloodied petals. His attention diverts when he hears the shaking of your cough, how you knock into him uncontrollably as your torso leans to meet your thighs, hands deep into the foam edge of the mattress. Petals splatter onto your shoes, clinging to the leather with saliva and re–painting the laces in a sickly red. Luffy’s touch is intrusive, a hand tightened on your thigh that burns your skin to ash and forces vines to splutter out your skin. They attack him, you reel yourself away from Luffy in hopes that they don’t reach him but in some disgusting way, they force themselves to new lengths to coil around his limbs. Spindling up and up and up and you can’t see his face anymore as a thick rope of vines in the shape of his hand reaches out for you, they keep moving up until you only see his hat— your back knocks against the wall. You sternly tell yourself this death is acceptable; the vines grow limp.

When you’ve calmed down enough, the first thing Luffy asks you is, “why aren’t you better yet?” And you feel as though you’re being scolded for some reason; your eyes flicker over to Chopper, fingers tangled together in front of your thighs from the corner of the room you’ve forced yourself into. When Luffy catches the wandering glances— as if you’re trying to keep him out of something— he treats you exactly how you’re acting. Like a criminal.

“Chopper?” It’s unnerving how his eyes are still on you, no trace of expression on his face, “out.”

“But—”

“Out.” Chopper throws you an unhelpful glance as he passes you to get to the door.

You’ve always had the wrong impression of Luffy— everyone that doesn’t know him has the same image; he’s a pirate that has taken down warlord after warlord, who has brought horrifying change and shifts the balance of authority wherever his feet take him. Hearing hushed whispers of him and his close affiliates in the lightened haze of booze, to distract from a tooth getting knocked out of place never does much for his image either. Though it wouldn’t be right to say that Luffy is wholly good either— he’s selfish. Selfish and impossibly kind and downright disgusting with the handling of his own needs; the sound of your name fizzing between his teeth has you startled, nodding your head back to him on the bed you’d left him at.

“You’re hiding something.” It’s not a question nor is it an accusation of any kind. It’s an observation. Luffy slides himself off the bed, his sandals comically slap against the floor of Chopper’s office, “tell me.” His hands fall onto your shoulders, one stays there and the other slides down. He treats your skin like an amusement park for his pleasure; his nails drag across the goosebumps of your bicep, pressing down on raised scars and then splashes into the palm of your hand, dragging ripples in the centre.

You hesitate, twisting your fingers together and pulling as if to attempt to dislodge the odd feeling that follows his fingertips. “Are you asking as a captain?” Despite how general expectations of Luffy remain pretty low to those who do know him, it’s also known that Luffy has a nerve in him that’s impossibly receptive to hurt. There’s a certain way to activate it and when it’s on, it doesn't quieten down until its idiot owner is pleased. Luffy scrunches his face up in an odd way, displeasured at your question as if he couldn’t believe you’d ask him something that hurtful, and his head tilts.

“Tell me.” You’re met with an unwavering stare, the hand on your shoulder tightens and there’s a hardness to it that you’ve never associated with your rubber captain— you can feel the bone in his fingers, stern and undeniable. Your eyes trace over the exposed, tanned skin of his bicep and you wish that you could force your vines through his skin to crawl into his chest and listen to the tremors that’ll run up your devil fruit from his beating heart for some kind of answer. There’s a sudden breath that’s available to you that isn’t tainted and clogged, trapped before it even meets your lungs, but it burns in a new way as you stare at Luffy, scared and terrified of a new life that’ll be forced upon you if you tell him what’s wrong with you.

You open your mouth with an excuse, but Luffy huffs and the words shrivel in your mouth, collapsing to a grain on your tongue and when you close your mouth, you taste dirt. “Luffy,” you beg, “I can’t— just, I’ll be fine.”

There’s a hint of some anger in his gaze before it turns into a haunting realisation, “Chopper knows, doesn’t he?” He pushes you aside, “I’ll just ask Chopper.”

There’s a ringing distant in your ears that chimes like the bell of the church from that place two islands ago, maybe three— you haven’t been too good with time recently. Sunny shakes like the earth as a body hits the pavement, you feel disgusting and heavy and an itch claws through your palms where Luffy’s hand has just been. You’re sure it’s Chopper he’s shaking an answer from but you hear Robin’s voice, calling for him to calm down and when that doesn’t work, Sanji cuts in. It all gets further and further away, you think about the planks of Sunny opening to welcome you back into that darkness from nights ago, you think about being choked by one of your vines, you think about the wisteria blooming whole in your lungs— you think and you think and think and suddenly, it’s all nothing. You’re dying, you think, that’s a fact, what else? Luffy is the reason. Or maybe you’re the reason.

“Luffy,” were you the one talking? “Luffy.” The voice comes again, stern and your eyebrows furrow with the same tension that the voice is carrying. “Thank you for being my captain.”

Not that it surprises you, Luffy punches you.

[ceratedfish24]

There are SO many negative nancys this season. Y’all need to cut it out. You’ve gotten so entitled.

“This was a bad wildcard” I don’t know how old you are, but I was in 3rd grade when I was taught how to give constructive criticism, and I was way younger when I learned that most people don’t like receiving unsolicited criticism. All of the players have loved the challenge of each of the wild cards. They have loved staying on their toes. If they genuinely hated it, they would have said something. Changes would be made. If it’s not interesting to you, then you can stay quiet and leave. You’ve gotten way too comfortable disrespecting people from behind a screen.

“The teams are unoriginal” Making sure that the players are having a good time is among the top priorities of this series. They are naturally going to link up with people they’re comfortable with. If you have a problem with that, then maybe you need to be put in a room with your best friends and some people you kind of know and be criticized when you gravitate towards your best friends. I don’t understand why you all are having such a problem with the concept of seeking comfort in a scary and unpredictable environment.

“Pearl shouldn’t be on a team with Cleo and Scott” well, she made her choice, didn’t she. That’s not up to you. She is an adult. She can choose who she hangs out with. Cleo and Pearl have not had significantly more of a rivalry than any other two players on the server. It seems like you’re just paying more attention to them because they’re women. Don’t try to take away from Pearl’s autonomy. Don’t try to conduct who she hangs out with. It’s really fucked up, what happened to Grian and Scar. Don’t let it happen again. Additionally, Pearl doesn’t care if you don’t think her character should be getting along with Cleo and Scott. The lore is made to fit the events of the server, and never the other way around. If you’re not creative enough to come up with a lore-reason for Pearl, Cleo, and Scott to be getting along, then I really don’t know how you’re still alive.

“Scott’s going to kill Pearl” why. Why would he do that. What record do you have of Scott betraying Pearl for no reason. The only reason he didn’t want to accept her as his ally in Double Life was because he just teamed with her in Last Life, and you all have proven just how much you’re gonna whine about a repetitive team. What history does Scott have of killing his own teammates. The biggest concern on that team is Impulse, who is notorious for holding grudges and betraying alliances. And yet your focus is on the catty two who are loyal to the core. Does that not sound like stereotyping to you? Do you even watch their perspectives? Cause you don’t act like you do.

It is a legitimate miracle that Grian is giving us another season. Be grateful, or we’re not getting another. You try coming up with balanced ideas that will last 6-8 episodes with ~15 people. See how many you come up with.

[laifromthecosmos]

Bharani Nakshatra and Fertility: The Cycle of Life under the rule of Venus

port-br

When watching films or plays that take place in the Middle Ages, you notice that some of them have the figure of the “herald”, those messengers who arrive at the location and open the letter (which looks like a parchment) and read the message aloud. The Heralds carried announcements and messages from the kingdom to the population, made solemn proclamations, verified titles of nobility, announced war and proclaimed peace. They were a preform of diplomacy. When they were going to announce something to the people, they would stand on a platform in the middle of the public square and shout the real news, usually wearing clothes that differentiated them to attract more attention.

Bharani Nakshatra (Aries 13º20' - 26º40') are the heralds of the energy of Venus, as they act as messengers or representatives of the essence of Venus in the world, carrying Venusian qualities, manifesting them in their lives and behavior. Venus is advocacy, seeks equity and is a peacemaker, devoid of aggression, but when it joins Mars, aggression and anger can be used as a tool of diplomacy (description by mike sleeping dog). In the eyes of Vedic elders, the star of this nakshatra forms the female sexual organ and thus became its symbol. This organ symbolizes the fertility aspect of life and a portal between two different worlds. In the Vedic point of view, it is described as death and birth, transformation and regeneration. It also represents restriction, care, jealousy, sacrifice, sexuality, nurturing and maternal love. Bharani carries all these attributes. It is the star of restriction that has the power to cleanse and remove impurities.

The main deity of Bharani is Yama, the god of death. Yama had a twin sister named Yami, who is considered the lady of life. Yama and Yami are a divine pair of creative deities. Yama is what connects mortality and immortality that carves mortal paths through death. In it is time and through time it describes a course for life, after the course life is absorbed into time. Yami is moved by Maya's emotions and love. Yama is mortal, but Yami is not. The procreation of mortals was granted thanks to the sacrifice that Yama made in annihilating himself, thus creating a debt (cyclic yajña). Through debt, exchange is created, and it is through exchange that the world moves forward.

There is a story that Yami fell in love with her brother Yama and wanted to have sex with him, arguing that this would not break dharma. She wished Yama to induce the embryo in her womb. It was a natural instinct that awakened in her mind and body after she reached puberty.

"She offered many arguments as to why this would not break dharma, but he knew that sexual intercourse with his own sister would go against dharma in the mortal world, where every action provokes a seen or unseen reaction. His reward for such self-control was to become chief justice of the universe." - Mike Sleeping Dog.

Bharani is a 16-year-old girl about to deflower, a baby in the womb or a person who faces the Yamadutas (heavenly angels whose task is to guide souls in the afterlife process) after death. Because of its childlike quality, Bharani is one of the most eager nakshatras. Just like a child wants to experience the entire environment, Bharani natives want to experience the environment to the fullest. There is a primal innocence in the way they experience things, people and places. They may go by instinct instead of reason. Most of your feelings and desires are so overwhelming that very little can be done to contain or calm them. Once again, the evolutionary status of the soul in question comes into play. All Bharani natives have a creative impulse within them. Females generally express this creativity through bearing children, while males attempt to be creative on stranger levels. Bharani is a nakshatra where interaction between man and woman takes place. This makes it one of the most sexual nakshatras in the zodiac. Bharani is representative of the force of nature that creates attraction between opposites. Bharani natives experiment, surrender, become victims and try to understand this force.

Bharani is the nakshatra that belongs to the first sign of the zodiac and is the first nakshatra ruled by Venus, this symbolizes the entry of the initial energy of creative feminine energy into the zodiac. Therefore, it is a feminine nakshatra. This is no longer a surprise, as Bharani represents everything feminine. It is the second nakshatra and the first female nakshatra. Just like the number “2” in numerology, it is the initiator of the feminine principle at all levels of existence. It is the beginning of duality and maya, and in it lies the essence of the complex functioning of the feminine principle. Bharani is considered a balanced nakshatra. Bharani is actually an extreme nakshatra, but it is classified as 'Balanced' due to its tendency to balance opposite extremes like birth and death. Bharani natives often lead double lives, reaching two different extremes. So, overall, their lives can be seen as balance. It is part of the Rajas Nakshatras (rajas is action to get desires fulfilled. It is the passion that drives one to action, often not getting the expected results, which leads to more actions), this can be easily accessed from the govt. of Bharani by Venus. Venus is seen as the most rajasic among the planets. Its relationship with terrestrial life processes is very strong. In a way, you could say that it is only Venus that makes life worth living. As Bharani heralds Venusian energy, its expression here is primordial, highly concentrated and explosive (all rajasic expressions). Venus is the planet of fertility, creativity and pleasure. In Bharani, these qualities manifest in the idea of ​​giving birth, both literally and symbolically. Fertility here is not restricted to procreation, but also the ability to create and nurture ideas, projects and new phases of life. Bharani, governed by Yama, also remembers that every beginning is accompanied by an end, a continuous cycle of renewal. Bharani represents the phase in which the seed is planted (the creative act that precedes growth. Being the first nakshatra of Venus, Bharani symbolizes fertility in its primordial state, the impulse to generate life. Fertility is linked to the feminine receptive nature, the ability to sustain life, something that Venus dominates. Bharani, with her association with the uterus, also speaks of the importance of gestation, essential elements of fertility. All goddesses, especially fertility goddesses, are linked to Venus.

Bharani is the nakshatra of karma and reincarnation, one of the least understood concepts in modern times, especially in the Western world. Bharani is the name of the stage where the masculine and feminine, which have arisen from a single genderless source, copulate and, in doing so, carry forward the process of creation.

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: A Cycle You Have an Opportunity to Complete

Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what resonates; don’t force a reading to fit! Readings are based on current energy; your future’s in your hands.

pile 1⇘pile 2 pile 3⇘pile 4

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Pile 1: 

What’s the cycle? [the tower, ten of wands rx, the high priestess, Indecision (Venus in Libra, 7th house), the empress (bottom of the deck), Elk rune]: hello pile one! I feel like you guys take on too many burdens at once, both your own as well as others’. You give so much until you can’t take it anymore, and this leads to a cycle of burn out. You’re well aware of this. You know when you’re carrying too much or need to reprioritize. Even though you can see the burn out coming, you cling on. Some of you get so stressed that you take sudden, impulsive actions to escape, like quitting a job or lashing out at others. I feel like the fall out or consequences you endure afterwards tend to be good learning experiences that open up new paths, but the continuous crashing is not sustainable. A few people in this pile also experience this cycle through romantic relationships, for example not being able to commit to one person and eventually losing multiple people.

Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [two of cups, Change]: this pile has such amazing intuition, but you don’t listen to it! You ignore bad feelings and red flags and try to keep working through them. There’s a lot of people pleasers or recovering people pleasers in this pile which could partly explain this habit. You don’t have to immediately act on your feelings, but if something seems off, it’s important to note what your body and mind may be trying to tell you. It’s also important to balance out your giving and receiving sides, not only doing one or the other (especially giving).

The opportunity to close it [ace of wands, the emperor rx, ten of swords, Enthusiasm (Sun in Sagittarius, 9th house), Laguz rune]:  this pile is going to get an opportunity to do something for themselves. This could be an opportunity for a personal project, to travel, or just something that will make YOU happy. However, it seems choosing yourself in this situation may feel hard, and it may upset others. You might have to pull your energy and time back from other commitments to take this opportunity. You might feel bad for choosing yourself, or others could try to manipulate you. This can include guilt tripping, passive aggressiveness, or using whatever method you usually respond to. It’s important to put your foot down against toxic people as well as your own toxic thoughts. This will also be a great opportunity to follow your intuition, and you may find it getting stronger if you don’t ignore it this time.

Extra details: fairy tale, carriage, tomatoes? You may feel like Cinderella, love the story, or similar movies. Or you may feel like you’re swept up in a fairytale when this opportunity comes to you (for some it’s meeting a new person). For those meeting someone new, they could be higher up in position than you. You may have people around you who try to attack your work ethic, morals, or credibility when you choose yourself.

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Pile 2:

What’s the cycle? [four of cups, knight of wands rx, the hierophant rx, Control (Jupiter in Capricorn, 10th house), Jera rune]: hi pile two! this pile feels very ambitious and capable. You guys have a lot of energy and talents that can be honed in many ways, but it feels like you’re put off by the actual process it takes to get to the end goals. You tend to daydream, contemplate, or brood about things you could be doing with your life, but then hesitate to actually do those things. For example, you may get really interested in certain fields of study, but then get discouraged by the academic or training process needed to work in that field. You want the end result but not the steps. You may feel stunted by society, like your dreams or creativity exceed the bounds of the “normal” paths you’re expected to take (like higher education, or a 9-5 until retirement). This cycle of piqued interest and disappointment leads to a lot of restless energy and melancholy; a feeling of wasted time, potential, and dreams.

Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [king of wands, New Vision]: this pile will not be satisfied with being bound by convention nor letting all their potential go to waste. You guys are being pushed to realize your capacity, your endurance, and that you have a lot of power to do what you desire. You already see the limits and shortcomings of how the world operates; you’re encouraged to use this ability constructively. Break outside the box set for yourself and don’t underestimate your ability to see things through to the end.

The opportunity to close it [king of pentacles, two of cups, temperance, Speculation (Jupiter in Cancer, 4th house), Mannaz rune]: there’s a few different things going on for this pile. It seems like most of you are currently in a situation that could prove to be financially beneficial or otherwise a good opportunity. It seems like a new environment where relationships are forming, for example (but not only) moving in with roommates, a family move, or a new relationship (romantic or platonic). If this isn’t current then I feel like it's on your mind. Either way, the main focus for you is patience! Patience is necessary to nurture the parts of your life you want success in. It’s especially important for this pile to support their mental health as they work towards what they want; your perception and willingness to be patient gets filtered through your mental state. By waiting when necessary, you allow sustainable avenues to channel your energy. For some of you who are entering new relationships or communities right now, I feel like one person in particular will be significant to you in these matters, such as someone who offers help in your business or creative ventures.

Extra details: Jupiter may be a prominent planet in the birth chart, as well as the signs of Cancer, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Pisces. Heavy oppositions or squares in your chart related to the push-and-pull feelings. Road blocks. Forests. Journaling, writing, or wanting to be an author. Traveling across a body of water. Feeling discouraged by travel delays (some of you may have travel delayed by family?). Wanting a career that needs a degree but not wanting to go to school. Family pressure to take conventional paths. Fear of life commitments. Some of you in relationships (or your partner) are wanting to step up the seriousness, like by meeting families.

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Pile 3: 

What’s the cycle? [four of wands, wheel of fortune sideways, queen of pentacles rx, Harmony (Sun in Libra, 7th house), Protection (Moon in Aries, 1st house), Sowilo rune]: hi pile three! You guys seem to have a generational or family cycle; you may notice very similar themes or lessons throughout your family’s relationships. There’s a cycle of relationships coming together to a high level of commitment, and then ending very significantly. This may play out as a cycle of divorces or broken families, especially where one partner cheats or otherwise neglects the family. In particular, I feel like the feminine energies in these relationships (so if not you, your female relatives/loved ones) are usually left in worse positions than before. This feels like cycles where someone is ambitious, skilled, talented, or financially stable, but after they experience a relationship, it’s very hard for them to get back on their feet. I also see this could have played out as one parent or guardian taking on more work to offset the neglect of the other parent. With this popping up as you guys’ cycle, you may notice traits of your relatives manifesting in you, or you have experienced similar relationship cycles.

Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn?: [the devil, the fool]: much like pile one, you also seem to ignore red flags. You may be drawn to people and vices that you know are not good for you. Putting on rose-tinted glasses and falling into the thrill of something new. The enthusiasm and passion is wonderful, but you must still protect yourself. Be observative when things seem too good to be true. If something feels off, identify what makes you feel that way, and also what you’re going to do about it. You may need to reflect on how you self sabotage and why.

The opportunity to close it [the magician rx, temperance sideways, ace of cups, Status (Jupiter in Taurus, 2nd house), Friendship (Moon in Cancer, 4th house), Othala rune]: this pile seems to have went through an event that made them feel destitute or powerless, and for a lot of you this is a breakup (of any kind). There’s an emphasis on relaxing and being very gentle with yourself, especially if you’re trying to make some kind of quick rebound. This is a time to pour love into yourself and find what makes you feel balanced and stable. Many of you are being pulled back towards something you’re passionate about, whether this is personal projects or your career. You may be interested in self care through creating material stability and comfort right now, as these bring a sense of security. This might manifest as nurturing relationships with family, and those of you that are focusing on material comfort may find your family helps provide that at this time. Some of you are also focused on building generational wealth, and others are directing more energy into socializing. These are all great ways to create a strong foundation for yourself that is not so easily shaken. The important thing is investing in what makes you personally safe and fulfilled. 

Channeled details: Europe (especially Southern), impatient, some may be getting drinks out a lot—especially with friends (this can include cafes), shadow work for harmful habits, gold, orange, crystals, working out, going to church (especially with family), returning to a religion, glow up, luxury, wearing a lot of jewelry or going to a jewelry store, family business, Mediterranean, dark brown hair and olive-toned skin, oceanside town, jogging/running, single mothers, generational cycles, talking to your mom or aunts more

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Pile 4: 

What’s the cycle? [judgment, two of wands rx, queen of wands, Excitement (Mercury in Gemini, 3rd house), Mannaz rune]: hello pile four! Like pile two, this pile feels stuck in a cycle of wasted potential. However, it feels you have ongoing expectations placed on you; some of you may have to look after family members or are expected to “stay in your place.” This pile’s cycle feels the most directly influenced by their environment. You might feel trapped or stuck, maybe at home or even by your own self doubts. Deep down, most of you know you could succeed at what you want and this makes you more frustrated when chances pass you by. For example, some of you may feel disappointed in yourself for not going to school for what you actually wanted to do. There’s a lot of mental energy and anticipation with no outlet. A specific detail for a lot of people in this pile: troubles physically communicating or reading in school could have hindered your studies and contributed to your present day hesitancy. It feels like you want to change the world or feel called towards a bigger purpose, but as of right now this remains a feeling and not action.

Why is it repeating? What lesson do you need to learn? [six of pentacles rx, Sharing (queen of action)]: there’s two different groups within this pile. Some of you are very generous with your time and energy when it comes to taking care of others, and you must learn when to pull back and direct those resources into your own life. There’s a tendency to always put your self on the sidelines. Others of you are very reserved and closed, but on the inside you have a lot of ideas, love, and creativity to share. You might flip-flop between a lone-wolf stance and wanting community. Fears are understandable, but don’t deny yourself space to be intertwined  and vulnerable with others.

The opportunity to close it [the magician, eight of pentacles, five of wands, Concentration (Saturn in Gemini, 3rd house), Tiwaz rune]: the overall energy for this pile is success, excitement, and talent, though I am picking up on a lot of different things going on here. For most of you, it feels like your opportunity is actually already here—or imminent. Some of you are finally going after something you’re passionate about or good at, whether in an institution (school, for example) or by yourself. Similarly, some of you may have gotten recognition for something, or been accepted into a program. There’s a strong willpower in you that’s been hampered, and I feel that something is triggering you to come out of your cocoon. For those of you that do have learning or speaking difficulties, I see you wanting to power through this. This might manifest very literally, like by having a long-delayed argument or conversation with someone that you feel you must do no matter what. Or, your opportunity may literally be working on your communication, like through speech therapy. Whatever your individual situation is, the energy got much lighter and more excited during this part of the reading; there’s a lot of positivity surrounding your pursuits! Please don’t feel you have to give up on your dreams!

Channeled details: bladerunner, “do it even if it’s hard,” boosts in confidence. Many different communication difficulties in this pile: anxiety, social/family pressure, neurodivergence, mental illness, speech impediments (this is the main one I was picking up on), language barriers, deafness, volume control. Vocal stimming or repeating oneself constantly. Sibling dynamics where one has to be taken care of by another. Unsupportive parents. Hyperfixations. Big arguments. Mediators (some of you are interested in diplomacy or law). Announcements, recognition. Returning to a hobby. Past difficulties in school. Perception anxiety. Overthinking. Strategy. Court cases. Finding things funny no one else does. Glasses, round face. Mami tomoe? Doing something for the greater good; social justice. Chess. Memes, vine. You may really like the Burger King foot lettuce meme lol?, courage the cowardly dog, Tinker Bell. Tea parties (or party planning). You may like things others find childish.

⇘⇘⇘

[sweeteaacakes]

C-can I asked for a stupid headcan about them playing Minecraft

♡》 WHB Kings Playing Minecraft.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° Sorry it took long~ I ended up writing some for the nobles too... but had to cut only for the kings because it would be too much.

»»-----------►

Satan

The griefer. He would pull out TNTs whenever he felt like it or light things on fire. It's an impulse.

Mining? Explosion. Fishing? Explosion. Building houses? Explosion.

His inventory has common things like flints and lava buckets.

You'd think he have a diamond sword, diamond armors or things like that until he pulls out a fucking rod.

Correction: enhanced blaze rod.

It has a knockback, fire aspect so it'll burn whoever is hit, sharpness, smites, bane of arthropods. You call it.

He has another one which is an ordinary rod that just deals damage and knockback.

Would use it with the people in his server occasionally. The nobles are eager to be the target of it.

Uses it to Mammon every time they meet and Mammon retaliates.

Despite being a griefer, he takes care of building and when the nobles told him he can find various materials he started mining and building along with others.

Paimon recommended using mods so he can have a motorbike in game. He is having fun building rails and riding minecarts.

“Expert” in redstone (aka puts it to everywhere + tnt + flint)

His playmode sways here and there but he has the most creative ideas when it comes to building.

Mammon

He traveled far and wide until he found the biome Badlands where there are mineshafts and golds.

Mammon is good at building and always experiments on various materials.

He always has treasures with him.

Either he takes whatever treasure is in the chest or leaves some. You better keep your stuffs in the ender chest :x

Eligos has to tell him many times to not make armors and weapons out of gold because it's not efficient when it comes to battle! TToTT)

So he just made a golden statue… various golden statues and some are built using redstones.

Mammon probably managed to put his ability in-game thanks to that.

He can activate giant hands in his server and they work as defensive walls.

if he is not in the server, he wears enhanced armors and weapons plus have many stacks of enhanced golden apple.

Implied a policy that in-game currency isn't exchangeable outside because a certain someone would have taken advantage of it.

People who can't afford a better computer can't enter Tartaros. Not because they have to pay to enter but because of the massive and detailed buildings that will overheat their computer TT-TT)

And when I tell you massive, I mean it obscures the sun. As if it was made by grand masters of constructions that will tell you “it's the average”.

They have a mod installed which allows them to have an advanced technology.

The server has a giant wall that resembles Mammon’s giant hand.

Ahem He dedicated a golden statue of MC’s bottom ♡

Leviathan

Since he can't hang someone in-game Leviathan uses instant-kill. They're gonna respawn anyway so no big deal.

I would say they have a mod to have tombs but… I can imagine Hades’ server to be proficient in potion making and animal taming.

Leviathan spends most of his time exploring other biomes such as nether, caves, ocean. Unlike in the outside world, in-game he can explore freely with minor accidents :3

He has a castle in each of the biomes.

I can tell he would love the Cherry Grove, Ice Spikes and even Savannah where there are many animals TTwTT)

He tames animals. Even tries taming monsters but those who hurt him are quickly dealt with. No hard feelings.

He seems like someone who doesn't care but he actually has insane armors, weapons and potions for competitive games.

Goes to another server from time to time carrying potions of invisibility.

Have more chances to stumble with Beelzebub than the Avisos’ nobles lol

Quickly log-out if it happens.

Beelzebub

Aye! The wandering king! Even in-game, he still wanders server to server.

His clones play too so you'll find him in various servers once at time.

You'll probably find him in unexpected places too…

He… have a fucking rod as a weapon TToTT)

Like… not a blaze rod like Satan… a FISHING ROD.

Yeah, it's enhanced. He forgot how he did it or what he put in it. He fucked around and find things out lol.

If you find him somewhere, there'll be a chance that he'll tag along with you and he suddenly disappears just like how you found him.

Just like outside, he still create unexplainable phenomena in-game TToTT

Lucifer

Just here to have fun~

Gamigin and Jjok helped him to get in creative mode so he can just fly around and stuffs~

He is just there to relax~

He builds here and there but is very slow because he needs to figure out.

So being in creative mode helps a lot so he won't have to search for them.

He goes in player mode though because he wants to feel the fun of actually playing it with others.

He does suck on mining…

Dies a lot…

He was mining and drowned in lava.

He drowned.

Fell on high places.

✨️Dumb Ways To Die✨️

He was flustered when he found out that there are wings in Minecraft! Gamigin was worried it would bring him bad memories but Lucifer didn't mind it.

He found it fun learning to fly again in a game. He crashed in various places until he got used to the control.

Belphegor

In AFK

Uses the game as background music while he does other stuff outside.

You know those videos of relaxing Minecraft music for 10 hours? Those

Don't bother to fight him. He cheats.

Asmo

Doesn't log-in often.

But when he does it's for hook-ups.

He prefers to feel the real thing and isn't very much in roleplay, especially when it comes to games.

Have various potions with him that he throws whenever he feels like.

I imagine him building a garden house? Lucifer like that. They hang together without speaking.

He builds the most questionable thing. Like strange things.

»»———-　　———-«

Author Note: Asmodeus and Belphegor's are short there isn't much known about them but I wanted to include them too TT-TT)~ Thanks for the ask ♡ I don't get much often so it's always appreciated:3

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ mini pac ｡⋆｡ ﾟ

random tarot messages

150 word readings <3

these are bite sized tarot messages with no specific questions being answered, just leaving things to chance and hopefully getting you a piece of knowledge from the cards.

pngs by @florietas

dividers by @aquazero and @cafekitsune

pile one pile two pile three

pile four pile five pile six

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‧͙˚ *༓ scroll down for the readings ⋆ִ ‧͙⁺˚

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〰 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 〰

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number one 𓂃⊹

page of wands

It's a good moment to reevaluate the source of your opinions and ideas, as soon you will feel a streak of creative energy and it'd be good to build stronger ideas before you begin to place them in reality or to manifest them onto it. Also an amazing moment to look for connections between the mundane and the divine, not waiting for explicit answers but instead, you should expect the way in which you ask questions to allow for more profound relationships with knowledge. Ideally, you’d channel your creativity in a way that enhances your freedom and expands your possibilities instead of imposing complex dogmatic beliefs to yourself.

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number two 𓂃⊹

the empress

Allow yourself to get in touch with the things that come naturally to you instead of forcing yourself to align with actions that are too detrimental for them to bring any actual value or positive impact in your life. I wouldn't take this card into the “divine feminine” approach to things, as it seems more like a calling to nurture your inner world and your personal environments by being in tune with what is genuine to you, and to the way in which you bring value for yourself. I think you are underestimating the valuable qualities you possess and how your energy can be channeled and empowered by just paying more attention to what you deem as “low effort” but can be “high effort” to others. Don't shy away from being confident in your virtues. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number three 𓂃⊹

five of wands 

Avoiding conflict at all costs is not ideal, but engaging in conflictive situations guided by your ego is no good either. Sadly, you will be provided with said tense situations so it's better that you take the time to think about how you process feelings of anger, stress and insecurity. You need to be as aware of your own feelings as much as you are capable of deciphering how others might deal with them, especially if their approach to them is outwardly aggressive. There's nothing completely wrong with impulsiveness and emotional reactions, they can lead to meaningful emotional or existential developments; only if there's time, energy and will to do so. Learn how to know when to face obstacles like these and when they're not exactly obstacles, but more of an annoying temporary situation. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number four 𓂃⊹

the wheel of fortune

Although it is impossible to have full control over one’s perceived destiny or the chaotic nature of the universe, good fortune relies on the ability to humble our needs for control. As much as it’s healthy to navigate difficult and stressful situations without allowing our emotions to have a negative impact, it is also necessary that we don’t become overly confident and arrogant when things seem to be working in our favor. There’s plenty of our surroundings that we are unable to control and many things within ourselves that are just as difficult to deal with, therefore, it is in our best interest to develop tools and structures that can function as guidance towards a consciousness state that allows us to navigate the ups and downs of life without neglecting the feelings we deal with as a consequence.

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number five 𓂃⊹

the moon

You need to allow yourself to distrust and question others. Although it's “common sense” to have good intentions, to be kind, to be respectful and so on, at this point in time we cannot truly have faith that everyone shows a tendency towards having a bare minimum of empathy or at least good intentions. It is easy to follow your intuition or your gut feelings when danger is easily perceived, but trusting your intuition is harder when there are deceptions or illusions that make it so we are almost gaslighting ourselves about how awful we are for not trusting in something or someone because there isn't anything negative in sight. Key word: IN SIGHT. If something doesn’t make enough sense to your peace of mind, it's most likely not worth making it fit into your life. 

˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ pile number six 𓂃⊹

page of swords

This card serves as a reminder to keep nurturing your curiosity, specifically by putting an emphasis on the knowledge you can acquire by being more open to hearing about others' experiences. I don’t think you are particularly interested in finding a sense of belonging by allowing people to impose their beliefs onto you, but I do see that maybe you are in need of company to further develop and deepen your relationship with knowledge. You don’t need to hurry up and become desperate to know everything about anything, you also don’t need to limit yourself and your possibilities to traditional ways of learning. At this moment, embracing the unconventional and unexpected teachings, everyday life observations and your own personal thoughts and opinions, will give you the motivation to strengthen your relationship with the more intellectual parts of yourself.

if you enjoyed this post, feel free to check the rest of my account <3 ppssst keep an eye on this blog, there's going to be some ask games and im giving away some free readings soon ;)

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[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

Clair-senses & Exercises

Clairvoyance: The ability to see the not so ordinary. Your intuition speaks directly to you in the form of sight. Images form in your mind or interpret information through pictures.

Clairaudience: The ability to hear or interpret information from spirits. Clairaudience is a way of receiving intuitive messages without using your physical ears but rather hearing messages within your mind.

Clairsentiency: The ability to sense the presence or absence of spiritual beings and feel energies.

Clairempathy / Psychic Empathy: The ability to feel another’s feelings as their own. This is different from regular empathy, which is the ability to identify with another’s feelings.

Claircognizance: The ability to just know things out of nowhere. It can tie into Precognition.

Precognition: The ability to know something is going to happen before it does, premonitions.

Clairtangency: The ability to assess metaphysical properties through touch.

Clairalience: The ability to perceive metaphysical smells.

Clairgustance: The ability to perceive the metaphysical through taste.

Artistic and Divine Inspiration: The Poets have given many names to the unprompted artistic impulses found in creatives. The Norse concept for this is oðr. The Welsh and Celtic concept for this is Awen. This is the act of receiving metaphysical or divine information through artistic impulses.

Exercises to Improve Your Clairvoyance Skills

Exercise 1

Sit quietly with your eyes open.

Focus on a still object in front of you.

In your mind, take note of the objects and furniture around you.

If you see shadows, sparks, or movement, keep focused on the item in front of you.

Sit for as long as you feel comfortable.

Make notes on what you saw and felt.

Exercise 2

Sit with your eyes closed.

Clear your mind and thoughts.

Once you feel your thoughts leave you after a comfortable amount of time, focus on your eyelids and that black canvas it is.

Imagine that blank canvas and focus your intentions while keeping an open mind.

Allow whatever images that come to mind to play out. Don’t try to make sense of it.

Document findings in a journal. 

Exercises to Improve Your Clairaudience Skills

Exercise 1

Go to a place where you are most comfortable.

Close your eyes, relax your body, and let hearing be your dominant sense.

Gently tune in to sounds that you don’t normally focus on.

Really pay attention to the layers of sounds and identify what each one is.

Document your findings in a journal or record yourself.

Exercise 2

Sit with your eyes closed.

Clear your mind and thoughts.

Once you feel your thoughts leave, focus on your eyelids and that black canvas it is.

Focus on the sounds around you and slowly try to tune them out.

Imagine an old radio with a frequency dial. Turn the dial through each station.

With an open mind take notice to any sounds chiming through. It’s okay if you hear nothing. Keep moving through each station. You won’t run out of them.

Put your intentions into each turn of the dial taking note of any sound. 

Document your findings in a journal.

Exercises to Improve Your Clairsentiency Skills

Exercise 1

Get more familiar with your energies by touching how your hands, feet, eyes, etcetera feel.

Learn how the environment feels around you rather it be the city or rural areas.

Learn how animals and plants feel from one to the next. Not everything is the same. Become aware of that. Every plant has its own pattern past the base patterns. Every animal has different markings apart from the next. Identify those traits.

Once that is learnt and recognized. Learn to feel the airs around you in different regions if one is able to do so.

Exercise 2

Visit different haunted facilities observing all the key details.

Take note of the atmosphere. How does it feel?

Take note of the emotions you feel during a tour.

Take note of the temperatures surrounding you.

Take note of any odd experiences and the people with you.

Exercise 3

Meditate with a specific spirit.

Take in the surroundings before starting.

Consider your moods beforehand. Noting them down.

Focus on the intentions for communication.

How do you feel during the meditation? What about after?

Did anything in the environment change?

Did temperatures in the environment change?

Did you feel hot or cold?

Did you feel any movements outside yourself?

Document your findings.

Exercise to Improve Your Clairempathy Skills

Ask someone you know to show you a picture of somebody they know very well, but you’ve never met at all.

Look at the picture and feel into it by observing all aspects. Focus on how this person was feeling when the picture was taken.

Ask yourself what kind of person this individual is.

Share your findings with your friend.

Now, ask your friend for feedback. How correct were you? Repeat this exercise as many times as you want with different people. Remember to keep a journal for any findings.

Exercises to Improve Your Claircognizance Skills

Exercise 1

Grab a pen and pull out your notebook. Before you start writing, ask yourself a question. What guidance do I need today? How can I find a resolution with a problem? How can I be helpful today?

Then set a timer for five to twenty minutes and write whatever comes to you. Don’t edit yourself. Express yourself fully and write whatever comes to you.

The more you do this exercise, the easier it will be.

Exercise 2

Meditate before bed falling asleep to a method of relaxation.

Clear your mind during this meditation pushing away any internal thoughts.

Focus your intention on an open mind and dreams. 

If a dream begins let it play out.

Upon waking write down your findings. Keep a dream journal taking note of anything that happens later in this world.

Compare and contrast experiences in this world versus your dreams.

Exercise 3

When topics are being discussed among individuals take note of things you know but have not studied or read about or heard about from any other source.

Document any experiences keeping notes on things if any. 

[bblovetarot]

{❀} What good things is the new year bringing you?

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄ . paid readings . ༄.

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

Many of you might be used to keeping to yourselves and often feeling down. But in the upcoming year, you'll have a chance to step out of your comfort zone. Although it may not be something you're thrilled about since you're accustomed to staying away from others, your heart will encourage you to break out of this habit. In the new year, this decision to come out of isolation is expected to bring about various opportunities for you. It's important to note that someone who used to bring you joy but is currently causing stress in your life is likely to leave. This person seems impulsive and tends to follow others rather than making their own choices. Their departure could lead to a more peaceful and happy time for you. If the described person sounds like yourself, it may mean that your own habits of holding yourself back are finally leaving your life. This change could make you feel happier and lighter, freeing you from negative energies. Some of you might engage in daydreaming as a way to cope with past difficulties. In the new year, you may become more aware of how this habit can be more harmful than helpful. The good things for 2024 is moving away from negativity and behaviors that hold you back, creating an environment where your true happiness can thrive.

Pile 2

For this year, Pile 2, positive changes are on the horizon as you break free from a cycle of self-doubt, consistently prioritizing others over yourself, and lacking belief in your own abilities. It seems like you're stepping into your power more confidently. Many of you may have grappled with insecurity issues for a long time, possibly spanning a decade, but in this year, you're overcoming significant hurdles. While some insecurities might still linger, you're handling them better and adopting a kinder attitude toward yourself, Pile 2. There's a desire for success in a particular area of your life, perhaps related to projects or a business venture. However, there's a noticeable shift in your approach as you become more patient, understanding that success takes time. Despite any impatience you may feel, thinking that others aren't recognizing your talents, you're navigating this challenge more effectively because of the newfound sense of security within yourself. You've developed a strong self-awareness, and external opinions no longer have the same impact on you – a commendable transformation, Pile 2. For some of you, there might have been experiences with failed projects, but you're now discerning when to let go and recognizing what is not aligned with your path. This newfound sense of self-assurance allows you to trust in your ambitions and their natural course. While blocked creativity may present a challenge, your enhanced patience will serve as a valuable asset to guide you through this year.

Pile 3

For Pile 3, the positive developments coming your way this year involve a journey of self-discovery. It appears that many of you may have grappled with emotional immaturity, but in the current year, you're addressing any ego-driven fears that have hindered your confidence and authenticity. There's a noticeable enhancement in your emotional intelligence, leading to increased kindness towards both yourself and those around you. This year, you're taking a measured and deliberate approach, crafting a plan and sticking to it. Some of you may possess psychic abilities, and it seems that you have a strong connection to nature, receiving profound insights when surrounded by its beauty. Throughout the year, there's a palpable growth in various aspects of your being. This includes boosting your confidence, refining your emotional intelligence, and nurturing your psychic abilities. You're focused on maintaining balance and grounding, ensuring that neither extreme dominates your life. For many in this group, the challenging period of the dark night of the soul may have been experienced in 2023, and the current year serves as a time to reflect on the progress made during that transformative period. If you haven't yet undergone the dark night of the soul, 2024 is likely the year for you to navigate through it. While not an easy journey, you're taking the necessary steps, no matter how small, that align with your personal growth. There's a noticeable effort in learning to control the ego, recognizing and addressing your deepest fears. In the past, you might have been reserved and hesitant to speak up, but in the current year, it appears that you're stepping into your power and finding your voice. Many of you maintain a close connection to the spiritual realm, and it serves as a guiding force through this transformative cycle. Communication might take a back seat, indicating a year of self-focus and solitude for personal growth.

[valentine-cafe]

could i have a berry crumble? <3 (gn reader)

thinking about being sort of... a friend of his, you're quite obviously swooning yet dense enough you yourself haven't realized yet. going out of your way to help him with things, being overly sweet, going a bit far for just a.... friend... yet it wasn't merely one sided. one day you get the idea to make jingyi some of his favourite sweets to go along with his coffee. ...perhaps, impulsively, you snuck a potion into the dough, which has the affect of making him completely and utterly honest. it catches him off guard of course, (unless he already knew, wanting to see how you'd react to his most honest desires). and oh boy, you realized you didn't think anything through, once he started spewing those words. poor, poor you, flustered beyond belief with your heart running miles a minute...what even would be your relationship with him, after this? it soon dawned on you, that when he offered you a bite earlier, and you....took it......he wasn't going to be the only one honest here.

. ˚◞♡ 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒙 𝒃𝒕𝒕𝒎 𝒈𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ꒰ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕 ꒱◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ jingyi verseless / gn reader ꒱ you're so very close to the demon who owns a popular alchemist shop. you've had so many heated moments with him - so of course you grew curious just how far his desires ran. so you decide to bake a truth serum into a gift of treats for him. just for research purposes of course. silly you, though - seems you took a bite

𖹭. content warnings◞  explicit content . truth serum / intoxication . fingering . grinding . dirty talk . penetrative sex . rough sex . some choking . 1.2k

𖹭. receipts◞  I love you so much for this request because pls I need more stuff like this for him!! and this is so creative AHHHH 

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 

he knew. of course he did.

what kind of alchemist do you take him for?

so he’d eat your sweets and refresh with the bitter coffee at the back of his throat. groaning at the essence of spells leaking into his tongue and swirling through his mind. a familiar feeling for sure. one he’d welcome if it meant messing with you.

a part of him wondered if you intentionally took the bite. the smirk on his lips took everything within him to hold back. were you so lax at the idea of his fingers accidentally brushing against your lips after he fed the sweet treat that you completely forgot your own plan?

now you find yourself in the demon’s clutches. flush into a dark comforter within his vast halls. not an imp in sight. not a peep from the bubbles of potions or the lingering scent of his herbal gardens.

only him. above you. on you. everywhere.

“and what else?”

the deep drawl of his croon twists a chord in your tummy. if not that then the way his clawed thumb stroked over your underwear would. a moan chokes your throat. your head leans back into the darkness of pillows - framed by the shadow of his long, silky hair.

“want. . . want you to claim me,” your words make you wish to scream. yet all you can do is whine as the callous skin of his thumb brings pleasure to your sensitive bundle of nerves. “w-want you to use me. stretch me out on your cock. m-my hand’s not enough. I felt it. I want it -”

your throat bobs as his free hand strokes an index along the front of your neck. a curl of his lips to match the crux in your brows.

“want what, sweet thing? want me inside of you? how do you want it?”

“rough.”

it sounds like the symbol of desperation — the sound that leaves your lips. his fingers feel devilish inside of you. curling and rubbing the pads against spots you can only question how he knew.

“rough? like this?” the slew of wet noises squelching from between your knees sends a spin to your head. an arch to your back as your fingers curl into his shoulders. tug at the loose strands of his perfect hair.

“y-yes - oh god, yes.”

another one of his laughs. low. vibrating. it makes you wish to yank him down and press your lips to him in a feverish kiss to shut him up. alas - you were too busy moaning and squirming on two of his sinful fingers.

so instead, your mind spouts out another question.

“t-tell me how many night’s you’ve dreamt of me.”

“hundreds.”

his tongue confesses. a grunt leaving his throat soon after. the taste of his lips no longer a yearn as he presses them down onto yours. eagerly sucking on your tongue for a moment or two.

“wh-what - what have - ah -” you strain an orgasm. not now. “wh-what have you thought of?”

“stretching you out. having your pretty body riding me for all you’re worth.”

his harsh, honest pant sends shivers down your spine. you clench around his fingers and try to squish your thighs together. jìngyí doesn’t seem to like that - for an extra pair of dark hands sprout from the ebony of his mist and yank your legs open.

“keep them parted. don’t act like you haven’t already creamed all over my tongue.” his words through clenched fangs leave you quivering. how can you not spasm and cum all over the both of you?

his name is a sinful prayer on your lips. he smirks.

“how many times have you wanted to do that, pretty?”

“e-every time I see your stupid face -” you wheeze in pleasure. whimpering. bucking your hips into his awaiting hand.

and oh, the demon grins this time. withdrawing and bringing his lips to his fingers. licking your honeyed essence and groaning into the air shamelessly. the sweetness of treats earlier have nothing on your cum dripping from his skin.

large, shadowy hands quickly encase your twitching thighs. driving you further into the softness of the comforter. an elongated tongue down your throat once more. interrupting whatever humiliating question nestled on your lips and instead drawing out a slew of splutters.

he takes the opportunity to ask his own.

“want me to fuck you, dearest? indulge me - hah - tell me how you want this cock.”

“i-in. . . inside. all of it.”

“and?”

“w-want you to cream me full.”

tears of frustration find your eyes. what an embarrassing confession. to be stuffed full of a demon’s hot cum until it was -

“until?”

“t-till it’s leaking. till I’m dumb.”

your head falls back into the fabric with a series of whimpers. he kisses away the wetness around our cheeks and directs your attention to the feel of his pre-cum stained tip rubbing between your legs.

“j-jìngyí -”

“save my name for when you are screaming it.”

and oh, you would. his name would slur with drool and a thousand praises. a hundred pleas as his thick cock pounded you senseless. eyes rolling back and tongue uttering out such sinful confessionals. as though he were your god, correcting your behaviour and fulfilling your dark desires.

his balls slap heavily against your moist skin. sending a lewd symphony in the air to join your choked cries and his feral grunts. he’s long since folded your legs to your chest so that he can grant you earnest wish. fuck you full.

“this what you wanted, you fucking brat?”

“a-angh - u-uhuh - jìngyí - jìnnngggyyyíííííí!”

he’ll silence your cries with a clawed hand around your throat. a rub to your sensitive nerves as he shallows his thrusts and grinds his tip against that one devastating spot.

his coffee has long since grown cold atop the small round table. but it’s not even a waste when he’s got you squirting all over him. feeling the heat of your cum on his cold skin and tasting your sweet tears. hearing your delightful cries as he fucks you in every way you’ve confessed.

and so many more.

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