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high-functioning-lokipath · 3 years ago

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SH - John Watson x Reader - Better Late Than Never - Words: 2,679

A/N: This was the prompt: Reader went to med school with John, she liked him but never told him so. John gets deployed and they lose contact. A few years later they meet again because of a case.

"C'mon, Y/N," John laughed. "If you don't study for the test tomorrow, I won't give you the ice cream I bought!"

"Is it Death By Chocolate?" You replied, raising your head only slightly from it's spot on the floor.

"Maybe," He replied with a smirk. The two of you were in your dorm, trying to study for the quarter finals. You were in your 6th and final year of med school. You'd met about halfway through your 2nd year and had instantly become close friends. Small displays of affection were normal between the two of you, the type that best friends would share without giving a second thought. John didn't have a clue, but you had developed quite the crush on him. You never told him, though, for fear of messing up the one good friendship you had.

"John!" You groaned, dramatically sprawling out further on the carpet. "I think my brain has died." You had been trying to remember everything you'd studied and were coming up blank.

"Hm, I'm studying to be a doctor, not a coroner, but I would say time of death was somewhere between 6 years ago and now," He teased, leaning over you from his nearby perch on your futon. Pretending to be mad, you threw your foot up and kicked his leg.

"You git!" You exclaimed with a grin.

"Oi!" He replied, dramatically tumbling to the floor next to you. You both lost yourselves in a fit of giggles. You stopped laughing and just stared at him when your brain caught up with your eyes and you had one of your "moments". He looked so happy lying there next to you, laughing his head off. His hair was a mess, his jumper had gotten abit twisted and was creeping up his torso, and his eyes were bright with tears of laughter. "You ok, Y/N?" He asked when he noticed you had stopped laughing.

"Yeah, just thinking," You replied quickly.

"Ok, as long as it's nothing serious," He said. "Really, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me. You've been zoning out more often recently so," He looked away, a bit embarrassed. "I was worried."

"I'm fine, John," You replied, not having the guts to tell him what was really on your mind.

About a year later, only 3 months after graduation, John called you. You still kept in touch, although you lived in different cities now, and your feelings hadn't changed. John had dated a few different girls but nothing ever worked out. You, though? You had gone on one date but left halfway through when the guy wouldn't shut up about himself and asked if you were splitting the check. John had told you he had applied at a small clinic near his apartment so you assumed his call was to update you on that. "Hey!" You said, picking up immediately.

"Uh, hey, Y/N," He said, sounding fairly upset. "Look, I," He sighed. "You remember that I enlisted a few months ago?"

"Yes," You replied, a lump forming in your throat.

"I've just gotten my deployment letter. They're sending me to Afghanistan. I leave this Friday." Silent tears streamed down your face and you found yourself unable to reply. "Y/N? Are you still there?" He asked.

"Yeah," You choked out. "Yeah, I'm still here, John. I, well, I guess I should wish you well then." You pinched the bridge of your nose and breathed deeply, trying to get ahold of yourself.

"Look, I know you're not a fan of the military but can't you at least congratulate me? This is something I wanted after all."

"Is it? Is it really?" You nearly yelled. "You didn't sound all that cheery two minutes ago when I picked up the phone! Besides, how could I congratulate you when all I can see is you getting blown to bits out there!"

"Sorry," He replied immediately. "That, that wasn't fair of me to ask." You both were silent for a moment before John spoke up again. "I'll write."

"Not with that handwriting you won't, " You replied, falling back into your regular banter.

"I'll try to make it legible for you," He promised. You nodded, though he couldn't see you, and started crying again.

"Alright," You said. "Can I drive over Friday and see you off?"

"Best not," He said. "I think it's better for both of us, yeah?" You reluctantly agreed. The two of you chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. Shaking off the foreboding feeling that had settled on you, you continued with your day and started planning your first letter to him.

The first few weeks went well, his letters arriving regularly on Friday's without fail. Then one week it came on Monday instead, the next on Wednesday, and soon two weeks passed without a letter. When you finally received it, he said that they had gotten to a point where it was getting harder and harder to safely send a receive mail. He asked for you to stop all letters and promised to find you again when, or if, he got home. That night you wrote him one final letter but, of course, never sent it. You were determined to move on with life now but you promised yourself to never forget him.

"Good morning, Molly," You said walking into the hospital with her. You'd moved to London and gotten a job at St. Bart's, working in the outpatient clinic. A few weeks after starting there, you'd met Molly while on break. You exchanged numbers and started meeting in the cafeteria if you both had breaks at the same time. In time you met Sherlock. What an experience that had been. He immediately deduced which department you worked in, how long you'd been there, where you went to college, when you went to college and he even figured out that you'd been in love with someone in uni and never got over them. Needless to say, you were impressed. Ever since then he texted you occasionally for confirmation on medical related hypotheses.

"Good morning, Y/N," Molly replied.

"Have you heard from Sherlock recently? I haven't gotten any texts from him in the past few weeks." Molly chuckled and nodded.

"I've heard from him. He has a new flatmate. A doctor too!"

"Wow!" You replied. "Good for him! Let me know next time he comes by so I can meet him. I'd like to know who my replacement is," You teased. Molly giggled and you continued chatting as you walked over to the elevator. As the doors were about to close, you heard someone yell.

"Hold the lift!" You slammed the open doors button and Sherlock ran in. He nodded at you and you let go of the button. The doors started to slide closed again when another person called out.

"Sherlock!" You froze hearing that voice. You tried to get the doors in time but missed.

"Y/N?" Molly asked, worriedly. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!" You nodded and leaned on the wall, trying to get yourself together. You decided to ride up to Molly's floor and see if Sherlock's friend came up on the next lift. Sherlock kept staring at you, confused, while you sat there waiting. A few minutes later, he came storming in the door.

"Sherlock! What were you thinking? Why didn't you hold the lift for me? I had to wait for the next one which happened to-"

"John," You gasped, amazed that it actually was him standing in front of you. "John!" You exclaimed, jumping up and running over.

"Y/N!" He replied, a grin spreading on his face. His smile faltered quickly though. "I," He said. "I need to be going. I forgot I had an appointment. Yeah. That's it. I'll see you at the flat, Sherlock." John quickly limped out the door and off to the elevator.

"He's the one, isn't he?" Sherlock said after a few moments. You nodded sadly.

"Why'd he run off like that?" You asked.

"Well it's obvious he didn't have an appointment. That leaves two possible reasons for his lying. One he could be-"

"Oh shut up, Sherlock!" You cried. "I know why he left. I-" You cut yourself off, choking back a sob. "Just sod it all! I need to go to work. I'll see you at lunch, Molly." You ran off, down the hall and to the elevator.

"Molly, I know that look in your eyes," Sherlock said once you'd left. "What are you planning?"

"The perfect set up. Now help me-"

"Molly," Sherlock interrupted her. "I may not understand a lot of things related to the topic of human relationships but I can tell you this, if either of us were to get involved, we may be maimed." Molly nodded in agreement.

Weeks went by and you worked harder than ever, taking extra shifts whenever you could. Your boss finally told you to take a week off to recharge. After much arguing, you relented and headed home for a week. Being alone all day, however, left your mind wandering. Thinking back to what might have been. To occupy your time, you decided to catch up with one of your good friends who lived nearby. You hadn't had the chance to hang out in some weeks but you texted each other every day. When you didn't hear from her yesterday, you worried but figured she probably was just tired. "Maybe she'll have some good advice for me," You told yourself. Knocking at her door, you checked your phone again to see if she had replied yet. Now you were really worried. You grabbed your spare key to her apartment and went in.

"What do you want?" Sherlock said, answering his phone.

"Sherlock, it-it's Y/N. Can you," You paused, taking a shaky breath. "Can you come down here please? I need your help. Lestrade's already on his way."

"On my way," He replied, grabbing his coat and scarf. "What happened?" As you explained to him everything, he grabbed John's coat and tossed it to him. John was mildly confused of course, but went along.

"I went in and found her in the bathroom," You told him. "I'm probably missing something obvious. I'm sorry," You cried.

"No, you're doing fine," Sherlock said genuinely. John looked at him surprised as they got into the cab, still not aware of who was on the other end of the call. "We'll be there in 7 minutes."

"We?" You asked. But Sherlock hung up before he answered.

"Y/N?" Greg said, coming up behind you. "I hate to say this but, we're going to need a statement. Do you want to wait till Sherlock gets here?"

"No, it's alright. Let's get it over with." A few minutes later, you'd told Greg everything you knew and he'd gone inside with the others to investigate. A cab pulled up and Sherlock rushed out. "Sherlock!" You exclaimed running up to him. As you approached, you saw another person getting out of the cab. "Why did you bring him?" You hissed.

"He's my assistant, flatmate and, if I have deduced correctly, a friend of both of us," Sherlock said.

"Look, that was years ago, I don't even know if-" You started whisper-yelling. You got cut off though when John walked up. You noticed he was limping again.

"John," Sherlock said. "I believe you're acquainted with Y/N. You're much better with people than I am," He stated briefly before going into the apartment.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," John said once Sherlock left. You nodded, sitting down on a nearby bench before your legs gave way from exhaustion.

"She was a good friend of mine. I don't know what could have happened." John was quiet as he sat down next to you.

"Sherlock will figure it out. If anyone can, it's him," He finally said.

"That is for certain," You replied with a dry chuckle. "So how did you meet Sherlock?"

"Oh, well, you remember Mike Stamford?"

"From uni? Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he introduced me to Sherlock. We were both in need of a flatmate and he matched us up." John paused for a moment, brows furrowed. "That sounds much too much like a bad dating ad. Mike got us together."

"Nope, that's worse," You replied chuckling.

"You understand."

"I think so," You finally replied. "So," You paused. You were so desperate to ask him more but you weren't sure if this was the best time. "Oh, well, nevermind. Glad that worked out." You quieted again, staring off down the street. John looked at you for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Right, yes. So, what have you been up to?"

"Work. I got a job at St. Bart's about 2 years ago. That's how I met Molly and therefore Sherlock." You were silent for a moment before adding one more thing. "I've missed you, John."

"I've missed you too," He admitted. "I'm sorry I didn't write or call when I got back. I-" He sighed and absently rubbed at his leg. "I couldn't. I was scared, if I'm being honest."

"Why? What happened?"

"You know we got sent into a very dangerous area. That's why I had to stop writing to begin with. But then, well, I got shot."

"Your leg?" You asked since he had been limping and rubbing at it.

"Ah, shoulder actually. The limp is psychosomatic. It comes and goes when I'm particularly worried or upset."

"Oh, I'm sorry," You said, not completely sure of what to say.

"I've been back in London for about a year. I looked you up actually. I found out you were working at Bart's. That's why I ran into Mike that day. I was in a park nearby, trying to work up the nerve to go and see you."

"Why didn't you?" You asked. He looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's ok. I should be honest." He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled nervously. "I was afraid of what you'd think of me. I didn't come back as some 'war hero'. I'm a washed up medic who can't even walk correctly."

"It's psychosomatic, right?" You asked, tilting your head slightly.

"Sherlock says so."

Well then, you have nothing to fear." He looked at you questioningly. "You know I never cared about the military so I could honestly care less if you came back known as some 'war hero' or not. You're not washed up, just look at you! Out here solving mysteries with the world's only Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes! And you can too walk right! You're just too scared to."

"I'm not so sure-" You interrupted him by leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. Pulling away with a giggle you got up and ran a few feet away.

"You'll have to come here to get another!"

"Oh, you devil," He grinned. He got up and walked over to you quickly, picking you up, spinning you around and giving you another kiss. You laughed happily and leaned on his shoulder.

"See? You did just fine!"

"I suppose I did, didn't I?" He chuckled.

"Oh, John," You giggled. "I should have told you a long time ago. I love you, John Watson." He smiled from ear to ear.

"I love you too, Y/N L/N. But a crime scene isn't really the best place to do this at."

"Why not? We giggle at murders all the time?" Sherlock suddenly butted in.

"How long have you been standing there?" John yelled.

"Well," Greg suddenly said, a few feet away and holding up his phone. "This video is already 4 minutes long, so," He trailed off.

"John," You said, not taking your eyes off the two other men.

"Yes, love?" He asked as you reached for his hand.

"Let's get 'em." You then spent the rest of the afternoon chasing Sherlock and Greg around the neighborhood, enjoying their girly shrieks, until Mycroft showed up and put a stop to it. Later that evening, you and John were enjoying some Chinese takeaway back at your apartment.

"I really can't apologize enough for leaving you in the dark, Y/N," John said. "I should have written," He chided himself.

"It's alright, John," You assured him. "Actually, you just reminded me of something. Wait here a moment." You ran off to your room and pulled an envelope out of a small box in your desk. You returned to the living room and held it out to John. "This is for you. It was my last letter but," You paused, blushing lightly. "I never mailed it."

My Dear Captain Watson,

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're staying safe and helping as many as you can. I hope -

Oh what am I writing. John, there's something you should know and I wish I could tell you in person but better now than never I suppose.

I love you.

There. Feel free to never write me back again or return this with a 'Dear John' letter. Well, you know what I mean. I wish I could have said it better or sooner but I was scared to lose your friendship. Now I'm more scared of actually losing you.

John, please return safely. Even if we never speak again. The world should not be without John Watson.

All my love,

Y/N

"Y/N," John said, tears in his eyes after reading your letter. "Why didn't you send it?"

"Well, you had asked me not to write anymore since it was dangerous and," You paused, shaking your head sadly. "I chickened out again."

"Well, I guess what they say is true then." You looked at him quizzically as he pulled you close to him and leaned his forehead on yours. "Better late than never."

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

@gaitwae

#sherlock bbc #sherlock #john watson x reader #john watson #sherlock imagine #sherlock fanfic

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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Do you think both Tim and Bart, could be in the autism spectrum?, idk what to think

Tim in his origin story and even thereafter shows so many signs of having High Functioning Autism that I personally just consider him being Autistic. He has so many freaking traits for Asperger’s, that I literally googled symptoms as I read, and he displayed the majority of the traits.

Bart on the other hand I don’t really think he has it. I feel like he has ADHD for sure, given that I have it, I can relate to a lot of stuff with him so I can just tell, plus look at the symptoms and look right back at him, it’s pretty obvious, but ADHD hasn’t officially been said to be on the spectrum quite yet, but some people believe it should be. But a lot of the more Autistic traits, I feel like are covered simply from the fact that he was raised in video games from the future and went to the middle stages of puberty when he was two years old.

People can want to think of Bart as Autistic if they want, because there is stuff there if it really will comfort you. But I can only speak for me. I don’t think Bart is Autistic, and in my personal opinion I feel like if they were to make him Autistic it would make his story mean a lot less as it was built up just to suddenly go “No all this unique stuff to him isn’t why he’s like this. He’s just Autistic. His origin doesn’t matter pretty much at all now” and I have that opinion as an Autistic person. But again, I see the comfort in it. But it’s not for me, since it goes against the entire point of his origin in regards to setting him up and what makes him unique to begin with.

Also obviously writers write the characters differently. But given that Tim was going to be announced as Autistic at one point in time, before they decided not to, not because they thought he wasn’t, but because he was going to be handled by another writer.

And plus I feel like going to their stories as written by their creators, as well as the stories written to show people who they are, are the best source to really go “Yes, I believe this person has this”.

Though, their are some people that just give people Autism in their headcanons cause they think it makes them cuter. Which is really freaking ableist and annoy the hell out of me. Sometimes they do it just to excuse the problems with some of their favorites behavior when sometimes they’re just actually meant to be rude, and it again feels very ableist or manipulative by using a real disorder people have in that way.

But as far as my personal opinions, as someone with both Autism and ADHD, and a lot of knowledge on the characters.

That is my view on rather or not I think they have Autism.

Tim Drake does have Autism, specifically Asperger’s, as he displays a lot of traits as written by his creator and in his “this is the character do you like him yet?” stories. Plus he was literally going to be announced as officially Autistic before something got in the way, and they never said he wasn’t Autistic, implying it was just yet to be said.

Bart Allen does not, as a lot of his more awkward, ignorant (for lack of a better word) behavior is covered by the fact he was raised in video games from the future, and is a teenager with legitimately no life experience hanging out with people who have actually lived 14 years or more. However, does directly seem to have ADHD genuinely, which also explains other things as there’s a lot of crossover. Plus I believe a writer nearly outright said he had ADHD as well, if it wasn’t outright.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Bart Allen #Impulse #DC Comics #Young Justice #Young Just Us

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awhitehead17 · 4 years ago

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Universal Signs

Chapter 13 / Previous Chapter

Also on AO3

A/N: This story is still alive, I promise! I apologise for not updating sooner, it wasn't intentional that I leave this story for 3 months before updating it, so again I apologise. As a warning, there is a character being sick and a bit of violence at the end.

Enjoy! :D

It wasn’t surprising when they find Tim sleeping next to them on the seat. The human had his eyes closed, face buried into the blanket covering him and was letting out the occasional puff of air through his nose.

Kon observes that Tim looks different when he’s sleeping compared to when he’s awake. While sleeping his face and body were relaxed, any tension he’s feeling is non-existent and he looks at peace. When Tim’s awake Kon could see how the human holds himself tightly, like he’s expecting to be attacked or expecting something to happen to him even after all this time. It’s sad that the human only ever seems to be truly relaxed when he's sleeping.

Deciding that Tim obviously needs his rest, (again why do humans sleep so much?) he gets up and carefully picks Tim up. He uses his telekinesis to stabilise the body as he begins to carry him out of the room. Tim lets out a high pitched noise and much to Kon’s surprise the human seems to curl in towards him instead of trying to get away.

He takes Tim to his room and gently places him down on the bed, once he’s let go Kon covers him with the blanket, making sure it’s tucked in around him. The human sighs and relaxes again, as if satisfied with the new arrangements even in his sleep.

Happy that Tim hasn’t woken up and continues to sleep peacefully Kon leaves the human’s room and heads back to the common room where his crew were still watching the entertainment screen.

“Tim’s asleep.” Kon states as he settles into his original seat. The other two turn to him and nod at the obvious statement.

“There's a lot going on for him at the moment,” Bart says frowning with concern, “I can’t imagine what he went through being held captive at the hands of the Demon’s Head.”

“Nothing good that’s for sure.” Cassie comments. “I always heard stories while on Themyscira about how much of a monster the Demon’s Head is, they always warned us to stay clear of the League no matter what.”

Kon can relate to that. There were similar stories and warnings said on Krypton too, by the way Bart is nodding he’s had similar experiences on Keystone as well. Kon really rather not get involved with the League of Assassins if he can help it, Rao knows what punishment will be inflicted on Kon and his team if the leaders found out about Tim and his involvement with them.

He has to praise Tim however, even though the human has obviously been through a hard and tough time, he still in fact managed to escape the clutches of the League, something that isn’t heard of. A human had managed to escape the universal assassins. That isn’t going to go down well meaning Tim has a target on his back and knowing the League, they aren’t going to stop until they find him.

There’s something special about this human. Kon doesn’t know what it is, but perhaps he’s drawn to Tim in a similar way that the Demon’s Head was, however Kon’s intentions were to help Tim, not enslave him.

“Now we know about this, we can be alert and we can protect Tim to the best of our abilities.” Kon declares looking at his team. Admittedly he's grown attached to Tim, he doesn’t know why but since the very start all he's wanted to do is help the human. He’s protective over him, wanting to return him home after he was wrongfully kidnapped from Earth and forced into something awful that no species should ever have to endure.

Cassie shakes her head. “There is word out already about a human in this part of the galaxy, meaning species are going to be weary and suspicious no matter what. Whether we like it or not, it won’t be long until the League catches up to us, we’re lucky we haven’t encountered them yet.”

Kon sends her a hard glare. “What do you suggest then? We’ve already had this conversation and we know the League are coming. By the time they reach us, we could already be back on Krypton, safe and sound and somewhere where they won’t attack us.”

Cassie returns the look, not backing down. “And what do you think the leaders are going to do as soon as they find Tim? If The League wants Tim, the leaders won’t hesitate to hand him over to ensure no wars or conflict happen, they have no reason to protect a human. Not only that, what about us? We’re going to be punished, severely, after they find out what we’re doing.”

“It’s not like we can abandoned him Cassie.” Bart joins in the conversation, the Speedster looks between the two of them. “It’s not his fault they’re after him, we’re all he has until we can get him home. Of course having the League on our tail isn’t ideal, but I suggest we keep going, if something happens then it happens. We deal with the situation as and when we need to.”

Kon silently thanks the Speedster for his support. He understands Cassie’s concerns but Tim doesn’t deserve to be just abandoned on some planet and left alone to defend for himself. With his lack of knowledge on the universe, he wouldn’t survive more than a couple days on his own.

Cassie’s gaze darts between them, clearly thinking about the options there are. Both Bart and Kon are set on helping Tim out in this situation and will do everything to maintain his safety, even if that means risking their own. She knows she’s outnumbered.

Eventually she sighs in resignation. “Okay fine, I have gone along with it until now and will continue to do so, but know I still think whole situation is going to end badly for all of us. What do we do now?”

“Continue as normal,” Kon says, “we carry on collecting the items, which we have almost completed now anyway, and then proceed to Krypton. Once there we work on getting Tim home safely.”

“If the League make an appearance?”

“Then we deal with it.”

A heavy silence falls between them all as a new threat looms over their mission. Kon has to admit that he never expected as big as problems they are facing now after picking Tim up, however it wasn’t one he could change so he has to deal with the consequences of his actions.

“Exactly!” Bart suddenly exclaims. He jumps up to his feet and waves his arms in the air in a show that he's back to his usual energetic-self. “We do what we always do: roll with it, take each mission at a time. We’ve had problems before and have never let that stop us!”

Kon takes a breath and decides to change the topic. At this point they were just repeating the conversation. “Right, so Cassie, how long until we reach the next planet?”

-------

Their next stop happens to be on one of the busier planets in this part of the galaxy. It’s one of those places where you stop as you’re passing through, whether that is a break from flying, whether your ship needs repairs, or your team needs to stock up on items. There are many different species are constantly coming and going from here and a good benefit to the planet is that there are many different markets full of a variety of items throughout the universe.

As he’s done many times before, Kon parks the ship down in an allotted area and shuts the ship down before turning to his team who were sat at the table behind him.

“We’re here for the seventh item we need to collect for the leaders.” He states walking over to them, he stands before them and leans against an unused chair, looking at them individually. “We’re now on the planet Athoes, known mostly for its trading business and markets in the galaxy. This will be a good opportunity to stock up on items we need on the ship too.”

Cassie and Bart nod in understanding while Tim blinks at him. At this point it wasn’t surprising any more, they had only woken the human up from his sleep just before landing, they’ve learnt that it takes some time before he’s functioning normally again after waking up.

“The item we need to collect is called Forin, this is a liquid substance that originates from the planet itself. Now I don’t know where we’ll find this, but it should be somewhere in the market.”

Cassie leans back in her chair looking thoughtful. “So we split up? Go in twos and try to find the Forin as well as getting stuff for the ship at the same time? We can meet back here sometime later to see what we’ve gathered, and go from there.”

Kon nods seeing no problems with that plan. “Tim, you can come with me.” He tells the human who is only beginning to look more alert now. In response Tim merely nods. Kon turns to his team mates, “Be careful, especially with everything that's going on, just be alert for anything.”

Cassie rolls eyes while Bart grins and nods, before becoming serious. “Take care of yourselves as well. If they are looking for us then we all need to be prepared.”

Kon nods, listening to his friend’s words. After that the four of them leave the cockpit and prepare to leave the ship for their next collection mission.

Exiting the ship they spilt off into pairs, Kon and Tim as one pair and Cassie and Bart as the other. Kon had wanted to keep an eye on Tim, especially after everything he learned about the human earlier, plus leaving him alone with Cassie didn’t feel right considering how wound up the Amazon is over the situation. No offense to Bart, but Kon couldn’t trust him to not leave Tim on his own. The Speedster would get too excited over something, zip away and accidently abandoned Tim as he does so.

He and Tim walk around in silence for a long time. The human seemed to have an aura around him which is telling Kon to back off. Tim’s face seemed to be set in a scowl and as they travelled through many of the markets on the planet, nothing seemed to interest him.

Kon shakes his head, human’s and their moods are very confusing. It didn’t help that Tim wasn’t talking, Kon had no idea on what he could say or do to try and make things better for Tim. He has no idea on what Tim went through during his time with the League, obviously nothing good, but Tim had been fine up until they told him about who exactly it was that he was kidnapped by.

Kon didn’t like this version of Tim. He wasn’t smiling, or grumbling to himself about ‘space is fucking weird’ or even taking an interest in their new surroundings.

Perhaps his mood switch was because of the information he now knows? The sleep he had earlier hadn’t helped for whatever reason, maybe Kon should try and get Tim to talk about it. Like that time he did about when he shared his story about when he was kidnapped from Earth. Bart had said talking is supposed to help after all.

He comes out of his thoughts and finds Tim a few steps behind him, Kon waits for the human to catch up before walking again, this time making sure to stay at the same pace as Tim. “Are you okay? How was your sleep?” He asks in the end, finally breaking the silence between them.

Tim sends him a dark look, one that immediately tells Kon he wasn’t alright. Tim’s tone was clipped and short when he snaps at Kon. “I’m fine.”

Kon frowns. “Are you sure, you seem off. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“There is nothing to talk about, back off Kon.”

Kon knows that isn’t right. Nothing to talk about? Is Tim being oblivious to what’s going on, or does he not care? Or could he just be grouchy still because he hasn’t woken up yet?

“Well if you do want to talk, I’m happy to listen Tim.” Tim’s disbelieving snorts makes him huff. “What now?”

Tim lets out a low chuckle and shakes his head. “It’s funny that’s all. You know, while talking does help with things, it doesn’t solve anything or make the problems go away.” He looks at Kon, his eyes glinting a sharp blue as they observe him for a moment before turning away again. “What I’m going through is hard to describe, my mood changes constantly and being in a completely foreign environment isn’t helping.”

Kon looks away from the human and focuses on all the different species around them as travel through the market. He doesn’t know how to respond to that.

Tim sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do Kon, I appreciate everything you have done, I really do but sometimes it’s just…” he trails off with a wave of his hand.

Kon wants to comment about it, ask for further detail but the scowl on Tim’s face hasn’t disappeared so Kon refrains from asking. He has a feeling the situation will only worsen if he does ask. Humans are certainly a very confusing species.

They travel through the market and even explore another one in silence. Kon takes the lead while Tim follows him around, clearly not knowing what to do or what to look for. To his frustration Kon doesn’t find any Forin, he hopes Cassie and Bart are having more luck than he is.

More time goes by and it’s only a little bit before they have to head back to the ship to meet the others. By that point Kon still hadn’t had any luck collecting Forin but fortunately he’s been able to pick up different items for the ship which they need.

Tim’s mood hadn’t changed during that time either. He still hadn’t really spoken to Kon and still seemed disinterested in everything around them. Kon had been able to get him to smile at one point though. They had passed a stall which sold some familiar looking treats from Krypton. Unable to pass up the opportunity Kon brought some and excitedly offered them to Tim. They were little colourful squares mixed up of different flavours,

The human seemed cautious at first and after a smell he put one in his mouth. Moments later Kon beamed at the blissful expression that crossed over Tim’s face. The two of them shared the treats between them, only barely managing to save a couple for Bart and Cassie, before they continued searching the market.

On the journey back to the ship, Kon doesn’t stop looking at the variety of stall around the markets, he’s still keeping his eyes open for the Forin. One stall in particular makes him stop however, they didn’t have what he needed but these items looked intriguing. They were black bands of sorts, each having a different design and looked like they were made of a stiff material. If Kon had to guess these bands could be worn on a wrist or ankle.

Kon’s mildly aware of Tim hovering around next to him. The human is clearly waiting for Kon to be done with the stall so they could continue heading back to the ship.

He’s in the middle of a discussion with the stall’s owner to purchase one of the bands, when he suddenly feels rapid tapping on his shoulder. Kon glances over his shoulder to find Tim’s hand repeatedly hitting him while his focus is on the crowd in the market.

“Tim?” Kon says, turning to fully face the human.

Tim’s eyes instantly snap to him as he speaks and the tapping immediately ceases. The human levels him with a hard look. “Kon we need to go.”

Kon shoots him an odd look before turning away to face the owner again. “Yeah one moment Tim.” He definitely wants one of those bands, if Tim could just wait a few moment then they can continue back to the ship.

Tim lets out a huff. “No Kon. We need to go, like right now.”

Sighing Kon turns back to Tim to find him once again staring out into the crowds within the market. He takes a moment to observe the human, finding him more tense than usual (that’s pretty impressive considering what he’s been like all day). Kon picks up on the frantic edge that Tim’s voice has taken.

Something’s must be wrong. Tim’s still staring out into the distance so Kon follows his eyeline and freezes on the spot, now understanding the context to Tim’s words.

Through the crowds they spy a green-skinned being, maybe a Martian, adorning complete dark grey attire with a very distinguishable symbol imprinted into the sleeves of his tunic. Despite the uniform he’s wearing, it’s easy to pick him out from the crowd because everyone happened to be giving him a wide berth, no one daring to get too close.

Kon swallows. “Yeah it’s time to go.”

There was no mistaking that symbol.

Kon didn’t understand the grey attire, he had only ever seen them wear all black, but that symbol was more than enough to get him moving. Sending the stall owner a tight, apologetic smile, he straightens up and reaches out for Tim, grabbing him by the wrist. Without thinking about it he starts dragging Tim through the crowds in the opposite direction to the Martian. Perhaps they could loop around to get the ship? Any means to avoid being in sight and risk any contact what so ever. Though if there’s one then surely there’s more. Kon’s surprised they haven’t bumped into them yet.

Letting himself be guided through the market, Tim speaks up behind him. “On the ship, the workers all had different uniforms. Majority of them wore black and carried weapons, however on the occasion I would see different beings wearing different coloured uniforms. Sometimes dark grey, sometimes dark green, midnight blue and even a dark burgundy colour. I never found out what they meant though.”

Kon grits his teeth and continues dragging Tim through the crowds. “It’s not important. The fact is that they are here and there’s probably more of them scattered around. We need to leave this planet immediately before we get noticed.”

“What about Bart and Cassie?”

Kon could only shrug at the question, though his stomach feels heavy. He doesn’t like being separated from his team like this, when there’s an imminent threat and he has no way of contacting them. “They’ll be fine, hopefully they’ve found the Forin and haven’t yet been seen. We just need to hope they’re already back at the ship considering it’s time we all meet anyway.”

They continue travelling back through the market, slowly making their way back to the ship. They get a few disgusted looks thrown their way as they barge past different groups of beings, especially when Kon nearly knocks over a stall after having to quickly dodge right to avoid another League of Assassins member.

“Shit, Kon, we’re being followed.” Tim tells him breathlessly from his left.

Kon glances over his shoulder and sure enough there were two League members following them. Kon curses. They’ve been spotted now they have very little chance of escaping.

“Run,” he says without thinking about it, “run!”

Not waiting for a response Kon darts forward, no longer caring about being subtle or pushing past species or not knocking over stalls. The sooner they get to the ship the sooner they can get off the planet and make an escape from the League.

It’s only when the ship comes into sight that Kon slows down enough to focus on his surroundings once again. He’s expecting Tim to be by his side and his teammates beside the ship. Clearly he had expected to much because none of those things were what he saw.

His team weren’t in sight next to the ship and Tim wasn’t by his side. Upon seeing that his human companion wasn’t next to him he abruptly stops moving and frantically starts looking around. Tim wasn’t anywhere in sight.

“Kon! Kon-el!”

The scream gets his attention and he looks back the way he came. How far behind was Tim? Without hesitating Kon sprints back the way he came, retracing his steps should lead him back to Tim especially if the human keeps screaming his name.

Rao, he feels terrible! It’s only as he’s running back to help Tim that he remembers of course Tim wouldn’t be by his side, Kon has superspeed! Tim is human, he doesn’t have any special abilities and Kon just left him behind without second thought.

It only takes moments to find Tim. A large space in the middle of the market had been made from where others had either fled the scene or where they have moved to create an area for the fight happening at the centre of it.

Tim is there with two League members, fighting to break free of their holds on him. The members were clearly trying to pin the human down but Tim’s making it difficult with the way he’s frantically squirming in their hold.

Kon barges his way through what crowd has stayed behind to watch the scene and immediately joins the fight. He dives in and knocks one of the members off and away from Tim. As he hits the ground Kon jumps onto him and throws a ferocious punch to his head which lands with a sickening crunch.

When the body underneath him stops moving, either dead or unconscious (Kon wasn’t really thinking about it in that moment), he spins around and goes for the other one which has now climbed on top of Tim and had the human’s wrists held in his hands.

Kon tackles him off of Tim and they go rolling to the side. Fortunately Kon ends up on top and just as he had done with the other, he brings his fist down against his head rendering him unconscious. As soon as the body goes still Kon sweeps the area in search for Tim and finds the human climbing up to his feet.

“Tim! Are you okay?” Kon asks worriedly, rushing over to the human’s side and helps him to stand up.

Tim coughs and brushes dirt off his clothes and glances around at the two bodies. “I’m good thanks. They grabbed me from behind.”

Kon hums and quickly scans Tim, seeing if he is in fact fine. He’s grateful that he doesn’t find anything wrong with Tim. He reaches out to take Tim’s wrist again, planning on dragging him back to the ship and not let go until they got there. “Come on, before more appear.”

He doesn’t want to think about how easy it had been to take down those League members. Weren’t assassins supposed to be skilled and unbeatable? How had Kon easily knocked them unconscious with a punch? The element of surprise probably helped but there’s more to it than that.

There’s also the question of why they hadn’t been able to pin Tim down easily, especially considering his weaker species. Were they trying to avoid hurting him? Trying to restrain him with little injury as possible?

Kon shakes his head, he’ll have to work out the details later on. For now he grabs Tim’s wrist and turns to start making their way back to the ship when he’s immediately cut short. There in front of them were three more League members.

Kon turns the opposite way only to find two more standing behind them. Next to him Tim tenses and presses in close against Kon. “We’re surrounded.” No matter what direction they look in there’s a League member standing there staring right back at them.

“Kon, what do we do? There’s no way we can get past this many.”

Kon doesn’t respond to Tim’s statement. Tim’s right of course but he doesn’t want to admit it, the speckle of optimism that they’ll get out of this fine flickers inside of Kon but he doesn’t know if it’s enough this time round.

He looks at the variety of members surrounding them. They’re all different, all different species all with a variety of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. If Kon was to exploit one, he’d only open up the strength of another.

An idea comes to mind and Kon glances up. He huffs when he sees more figures above them, flying in the open air. So flying away isn’t an option. He had the idea of simply grabbing Tim and flying them out of there but with League members in the sky, it isn’t happening.

Eventually one of them steps forward, speaking to them in a short authoritative tone. “The human needs to come with us.”

“That’s not happening.” Kon immediately retorts back.

“If he refuses to come then we will have no choice but to use force.”

Well it’s a little late for that, Kon thinks to himself. Next to him he hears Tim mumble to himself, “Like that’s stopped you before.”

Kon has no idea how it happened but within moments they’re battling one another. One moment they had been talking and then the next they’re engaged in combat. As he fights the members he tries to stick close to Tim but it’s difficult to keep an eye on the human as he tries to not die.

He knocks a couple members down before getting grabbed behind and slammed into the ground. Before he could grasp what’s going on hands wrap around his neck and begin to squeeze, he scrambles against the hold on his and just as he’s about to throw them off using his telekinesis a golden rope appears and wraps around the neck of his attacker.

His attacker is then abruptly thrown off him with a yell. Kon scrambles to his feet and looks up to find Cassie there, beating the guy into submission. Once he stills she turns to him. “We were wondering why you both were late, it’s a good thing we decided to try and find you both.”

A blast of air meets Kon and suddenly Bart is there standing next to him. “Well this meeting is a lot sooner than anticipated.” He blurs off again before Kon could reply.

The fight between them continues and Kon has a hard time locating Tim in the midst of it all. As he begins to worry about the human having already been taken away from them he hears a shout from his left and Kon glances over there just in time to see Tim flipped over a League member’s back to land hard on the ground.

Kon makes a move to go help Tim when suddenly Bart is there tackling the guy off Tim. Unfortunately it doesn’t go according to plan. Keeping a hand on Tim the member snaps his other arm out and grabs Bart by the head. The Speedster yelps in surprise however before he could do anything another League member tackles him from the side making them both crash to into the ground. Kon watches as they grapple for a moment but when it ends the League member is standing up and Bart lies unmoving on the ground.

From his position Kon couldn’t see what had been done to make the Speedster go unconscious. His heart pounds rapidly inside his chest as despair washes over him. “BART!”

A force hitting his side brings him back to his own situation and Kon quickly deals with the member currently fighting him. A few quick punches and the use of super strength the member collapses to the ground and doesn’t get up again.

Within that short time, the League have managed to get a hold of Tim and Kon stares as they begin to drag the human away. They have hold of Tim’s arms, locking them above his head as they drag him across the ground away from the main fight.

With Tim’s arms captured in a hold his only leverage is his legs and Kon watches as Tim digs his feet into the ground to try and cease their movements but his efforts were futile. He thrashes and squirms in their holds but they don’t let go.

It’s only when a shout from behind him gets him moving. “Go after him! I’ll handle these!”

Knowing and trusting Cassie to have his back Kon breaks forward, sprinting towards Tim and the figures dragging him away. Anything that attempts to stop him, Kon instantly strikes down, his mind now set on the mission of getting Tim back and free of those hands.

Unfortunately this single mindset would be his down fall.

With his focus purely on Tim, Kon failed to see the League member coming at him from the side. It’s when pain explodes from his torso that he realises his mistake. Kon takes a sharp breath in as his whole body lurches. Sudden vertigo washes over him and unable to get his balance Kon stumbles, collapsing on the ground moments later.

Curling up on his knees, he cries out as his side throbs, his whole vision blurs together, nausea stirs inside of him and everything becomes hazy. A muffled yell which he thinks is his name comes from somewhere in front of him but he’s not able to comprehend it. Everything hurts.

He eventually looks down, eyeing up his side where the pain is coming from, only to wish he hadn’t looked. At what he sees makes the nausea he had been feeling comes to the front full force and unable to prevent it, Kon vomits making a mess of the ground in front of him. Everything only becomes more painful as his body seizes, a series of spasms wrecking through his frame as everything inside of him comes out through his mouth.

When his body finally stops seizing he tries to take deep controlled breaths to get his thoughts together, however every breath he takes only causes his side to throb in pain. He prepares himself again and looks down to where a large piece of Kryptonite is embedded in his left side.

He takes in another sharp breath and lets it out. One of the only things that can harm him, that could kill him, and he’s been stabbed with it.

He could feel the effects it’s having on him thrumming through his body. He could feel that he’s already weaker, his senses are dulled down to almost numbness and his powers are basically non-existent now.

Forcing himself to look away from his wound, Kon looks back up and surveys his surroundings through blurry vision. He’s alone. There’s no one around meaning that Tim is no longer in sight and that means the League have taken him.

Kon lets out a yell, one that indicates both pain and anger. They’ve gotten Tim even after Kon told the human that the League wouldn’t get him. That Kon and his team would protect him. They failed in the worst way possible, Rao knows what they’ll do to him once Tim is back in the clutches if the Demon’s Head. They need to rescue him.

With that in mind Kon moves his attention back to his wound. He could still feel his body getting weaker and knows that it’s only a matter of time before his body gives out on him. He needs to get to the ship before that happens.

Gritting his teeth he wraps a hand around the piece of Kryptonite and in one motions rips it out of his side. Screaming in agony Kon throws the kryptonite away from him and clutches his side with a hand while taking long breaths in an attempt to stabilize himself.

Eventually he forces himself to get up to his feet which is an almost impossible feat. He staggers a few times but eventually gets himself standing upright. Now he needs to find his team and get to the ship.

Stumbling along, Kon heads back the way he originally came. He could feel himself swaying from side to side but he stays determined to find his friends. After what feels like eons, he finds Cassie sat on the floor hissing as he presses a hand to her shoulder. Bart’s body could be found to her left, the Speedster still apparently unconscious and unmoved.

It worries Kon. Cassie is injured too, meaning they found something that can only hurt an Amazon and if Bart is still not awake, they’ve obviously done something serious to him.

“Cassie…” The Amazon looks over at him, blood and dirt covering her face and clothes, her eyes widen at the sight of him.

“Kon?”

Kon staggers over to her and shakes his head in defeat. “They’ve got him, they got Tim,”

A flash of anger washes over Cassie, despite her attitude towards the human, this is something she wouldn’t have wished upon him. Still holding her wounded shoulder, she climbs to her feet and eyes Kon up worriedly. “We need to get back to the ship before we collapse. We’ll have to carry Bart between us.”

Somehow they manage to gather Bart’s unconscious body and carry it between them. The entire experience was tedious and painful, every step felt like torture and Kon wanted nothing more than to just give in to the darkness that’s threatening his vision.

They barely make it back to the ship. Kon fumbles to open the doors up and once inside he locks it before he and Cassie struggle with Bart’s body up the stairs and into the medical room. They deposit the Speedster onto the bed in the centre of the room before falling to the ground themselves, lacking the energy to stay on their feet for any longer.

“Call for… emergency…” Cassie speaks up brokenly. “Not another… option… Kon.”

Kon grunts and once again stumbles to his feet, having to use the walls for support. He makes his way out of the room and heads for the cockpit, having to lean against the wall to help keep himself upright the entire time.

When he gets there he stumbles over to the dashboard, promptly falling onto it once there. Using the last of his energy he slams his hand down on the emergency beacon. The alert will go to those on Krypton, letting them know of their location and the fact they need help. With that in mind Kon can’t fight against it anymore and lets the darkness take over.

#universal signs #Tim Drake #Kon-El #cassie sandsmark #bart allen #Young Justice #fanfiction #angst #fights #character being sick #bit of violence #injuries #again sorry for not updating sooner #it wasn't intentional #hopefully the long chapter makes up for the wait!

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greycappedjester · 4 years ago

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I love ur hq series, and i was so excited when i recently found out u wrote DC too!! Your writing is so good and i love what you do with characters and plot!! It made me think about how some of the dc characters (mainly Bart) would interact with hq characters (if u have any thoughts on this feel free to share :) but overall just wanted to say good stuff 👍

Ooooh, I both love this question and it’s a hard one because I think about those two fandoms soooooo differently. Let’s see:

Well, first thing I thought of so my obvious answers would be Dick and Hinata since they are the most friendly people on the face of the planet so they would probably get together well. But, also they just use their optimism so differently. Dick uses his almost like a shield or a weapon--defiant optimism and hope almost. Whereas Hinata uses his more blindly and when things get serious, he basically snaps into hyperfocus. They’d get along and be able to talk easily; but, I think they’d have a lot of trouble understanding each other--more so, actually, then they’d have trouble understanding the people who act more dissimilar to them.

Bart...okay, I love Bart a lot, legit one of my favorite comic characters along with Dick. But, I’ll also admit my favorite characterization of him is Young Justice and the same one I use in my story so optimism as both an act and a purposeful goal to cover for a deeply, deeply pragmatic and survivalist mindset. He just really, really wants to be seen as a “light, hopeful” character even if it’s not always intuitive. With that, I think he’d actually relate with Suga the best (or, okay, Hq at Hogwarts’ Suga) even if I think they wouldn’t talk as much as just have a silent understanding there.

Jason and Iwaizumi would get along really well--both have that protective bluntness going on and are just such Gryffindors. I really....I actually just now want Donna and Yachi to get along and have Donna just play that awesome, cool, older girl role model for Yachi, I think they’d both enjoy that. Actually, Donna would also get along fabulously with Bokuto and Iwaizumi as the often “sane, direct” friend to optimistic strategists that hide things behind smiles (or smirks in Kuroo’s case). Kuroo and Jason would also get along for a time before they drove each other insane. ....Jason and Roy plus Noya and Tanaka would be an absolute dream for the four of them and a nightmare for anyone close by.

I have no clue who Tim and Barbara would get along best with, but my bet would be Oikawa, Suga, and Akaashi to have just deep theoretical conversations about the other world. Kenma and Tim would be able to be gaming buddies, so there’s that. Kageyama, Hinata, and Lev (plus Noya and Tanaka) would think Jade/Cheshire is coolest person ever...and they’d be right. Saeko and Zatanna would also have wonderful girls drinking nights (while Lilith and Akiteru tried to keep the peace)

...hands down, the ones who would get along best though, Hinata and Kory (Starfire)--those two would click immediately and find a way to trade text messages through alternate dimensions. The world would be better for it, albeit possibly burnt to a crisp at the presence of two actual suns in such close vicinity.

Thanks for the ask, this was a fun thing to think about.

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years ago

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1x12 - School lies

I’m back! It wasn’t my intention to take so long between the last recap and this one, but long story short, I was sans computer for a few days, and doing these on my phone is no fun.

So anyway here we go. Recap after the break.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

That looks like the most unpractical key ever

Nothing gives more the idea that this a party of super rich kids than the fact that they’re drinking in martini glasses, and not red plastic cups

Refreshing to see Nate being the one chasing after Blair, and I know she’s not avoiding him of her own volition, but he deserves it anyway.

Not that it wasn’t obvious but it suprised me that Chuck actually admits to Blair that the sight of her and Nate make his stomach turns.

I love Serena’s bathing suit

Someone should have told Dan that is annoying he keeps taking Vanessa to all these parties she isn’t actually invited to. 🙄

Gotta give it to the headmistress if she actually thought she could expell 2/3 of the Junior class

Blair’s rant with the headmistress is hilarious, it also sounds like the plot of a coming episode, about being innocent and then doing the stupind thing someone and the doing the stupid thing with someone else and pretend she have never do the stupid thing before

Nate and his heartfelt letter to Blair, aww. Poor Chuck, still plotting, still getting nowhere, and I can´t help but feel a bit bad for him every time Nate makes an insinuation about his night with Blair, he ain’t pulling that indiferent face very well.

Sorry Rufus, but I kind of agree with Lilly on this one, he did send her mixed messages.

Seriously Dan stop taking Vanessa everywhere.

You can always count with Chuck to tell it like it is, though I do feel for Dan here, mostly because I can relate a bit, private school ain’t easy when you’re not part of the rich kids group.

Dan is so frustrating because even when I agree with him on principle he the way he says things to Serena, always trying to make her feel bad for being from “that wordl” annoys the hell out of me

For all Vanessa’s morals that was invasion of privacy, no but really how easier everyone’s lives would have been if Serena hadn’t met Dan Humphrey.. or more exactly if he hadn’t met her.

Vanessa telling Chuck that he’s sick, and yet she still takes the money. The sad fact of life that we can all have our morals, and yet money is still money.

Dan and Serena really did have a variation of this conversation time and time again, it’s so tiring. Like the particulars may change but at the crux of the argument there’s always the same thing. 😪

Blair calling what Nate did the most romantic thing someone has ever done for her... I don’t even know what to say.

I feel really bad for Serena, because I just can’t help thinking how crappy every guy in her life must have been to really believe that Dan Humphrey is the best thing that ever happened to her, and a bit worrisome that she believes he’s the most important thing in her life.

For all her faults Lily does loves her children.

Nice Vanessa, you still preached and acted all morally superior, but that was nice.

I’ve always loved the scene between Blair and Vanessa in the cafe, it’s one of those moments I actually like Vanessa, and I love Blair reluctantly doing nice things for others. Also that was a good joke on Chuck

Yes Serena! he’s making it and upstairs downstairs thing, he always does, he always will.

And so the first death of Rufly in favor of Derena on this show.

Nair is back on again... for now.

So, I actually ended up liking this episode more than I thought I would. It’s one of those episodes that I looked back as filler episodes, with a typical high shcool drama plot, and yet there are some interesting bits here. On this rewatch I realized that this is a very Serena episode. Sure it’s focused mainly on her relationship with Dan, and I’m not a fan of the show making it like a big part of the reason Serena leave behind her wild ways was because of Dan, while in reality that was something she had decided to do for her self and she deserves recognition for that.

That being said is true that Dan was a big influence on her, and sometimes that’s good and sometimes not so much, it’s good to have someone that inspire us, that encourages us to be the better version of ouserlves, and Serena sees Dan that way, and it’s positive for the most part, the sad part is that he laces it with a dosis of judgment and he always frames it as if she should be ashamed of having a privileged life, among other things. This episode is very telling in this dynamic and also the importance Serena has gave to the presecen of Dan in her life, and seeing her talking to her mom about it is such an emotional moment for many reasons. It lowkey let us know how damaged Serena really is, and how love has been really lacking in her life.

She clings to Dan because all of her life she had been gettin attention, being loved and adored, for all the wrong reasons, for very superficial reasons, and for her Dan is the person that really sees her, he wants to be with her because he likes her, the Serena that’s an actual person, the Serena that can be this amazing person, the better version of Serena. She was starving for that kind of understanding, so much that she gives him the center place of her life, and she wants it to last forever, because with Dan she feels her life is better, she’s better. There’s of course a lot of red sings on this way of thinking, she stil hasn’t learned how difficutl it really is to live to the expectations of Dan and the pedestal he puts her. But this makes it easier to understand why despite everything that happened later, she still sees Dan this way, and the way she feels here is why she sees this period with rosed tinted glasses later all.

Going back to her scene with Lily, I’ve always seen people calling her selfish for this, for telling her mom to pick Bart over Rufus, and yes it’s inherently selfish, but also again very telling of how her mother’s love life and how incosistent it made their lives really affected her, and Lily understands this, and that’s why she agrees to marry Bart, because she realizes how much she hurt her children, how Serena seems to be finally happy and in a positive way no less, and she owes it to them, and that’s why she sets her own happiness aside, because she had put it above her children for so long, and I’m glad she did, and it also was a moment of personal growth for her, and most likely I don’t think Rufly would have made it very far here, they weren’t ready yet it was too soon, and on a more selfish level the union of Bart and Lilly was the birth of another relationship I love a lot on this show. So thanks Serena.

And last bot not least this episode brings Nair back, the triangle between Nate - Blair - Chuck gets all set up for the next week episode, so I really won’t get into it now, just felt like mentioning that it was actuall nice seeing Nate put the effort for once, he’s a simply guy, a very typical guy in fact the kind that likes the girl when she doesn’t like him back, yet I felt for Blair getting the love, attention and romantic gestures she always wanted from Nate, and I’m glad she got it, it was after all the dream she had for them growing up. Their relationship is doomed obviously, even if Nate never find out about Blair’s affair with Chuck, the fact was they were getting back together for reasons that weren’t sustainable on the long run: she out of nostalgia and childhood dreams, him because he saw her as a novelty, a new Blair. Once a mistmatch, always a mismatch.

Random bits I noticed:

That shot of Lily on the restaurant watching everything around her really reminded me of that scene in Titanic where Rose is having lunch with her mother and some other ladies and she sees this little girl learning about manners and suddendly it’s clear as day how much of a never ending cycle of appareances that life is, how exhausting and how much of a prison that life is.

That classic car Rufu’s drive off was lovely, where can I get one?

#gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #1x12 #school lies

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atopearth · 4 years ago

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Xenogears Part 1 - Fei’s Experiences & New Meetings

The classic 90s anime style is really beautiful! I wonder what happened though, something contaminated a ship and it caused all the controls to go out of control, forcing the captain to self destruct it since it even killed all the evacuees?😣 And then some lady rose from the wreckage? It's kinda crazy how the Kislev Empire and Aveh country could fight for so long that they don't even know what the initial reason for war was anymore. So, Gears are the gigantic humanoid robots that both countries excavated from ruins and used their newly developed technology "Ethos" to repair and use these ancient Gears that are really useful for war since it reduces the need for man to man combat. Hmm so our MC Fei has lost his memories and had been taken to Lahan by a black hooded guy... I thought Dan was being crazy to suggest that Fei take his sister Alice away from Timothy (since they're getting married tomorrow) but it seems like there's more merit to it than I thought... Since even Alice thinks that if only Fei was born in this village and that if they had met earlier, then maybe things will be different... I wonder if Timothy knows, he seems like a nice guy too... Omggg, I feel so bad for taking the bird egg lmao, especially since the bird pecks you to give it back... And now Yui is cooking it!! Ahh, I feel bad loll.

Well, I expected Timothy to die but I didn't think that Alice, the chief and many other people ended up dying because the Gear Fei knew how to use went out of control... That's pretty saddening. To be fair, it wasn't exactly his fault since Lahan was getting attacked by Gears, but I guess if he listened to Citan and didn't fight, everyone would have been able to evacuate properly.. you can't blame Dan for hating him. I think his confrontation with Elly was pretty telling though, shows how much he's given up on life after losing everyone and having others hate him... Okay, the jumps/platforming in this game kills me, I'm so bad at it that I want to quit lmao. Anyway, Fei's outburst on Elly trying to blame the Gears for the destruction of the village was saddening to watch, like it was obviously their fault but it was also his, but he couldn't accept that it was he who killed everyone important to him. It was pretty heartbreaking. It was obvious that Elly was a part of the Gears who ended up emergency landing at Lahan and caused this all to happen, but it seems like the words she shouted at Fei were also directed at herself. She seems to have been unable to accept that she needs to take responsibility over other people's deaths in her past too? Well, all we know now is that somehow Fei knew her name before she even said it, so they must know each other in the back of their minds, especially since Fei knows how to pilot a Gear, but Citan is also important in this since he seems to know what or who Fei is to an extent? I guess Fei's fate is doomed to be surrounded by the Gears no matter what, since he had to use it again to save Elly. It was pretty saddening that Fei told Citan to shoot him if he were to go out of control again though. Citan was really perceptive to realise who Elly was, and it was kind of him to tell her to go back before she gets into trouble and causes pain to Fei. It was nice of Elly to want to apologise to Fei after realising how terrible she was for trying to shift the blame to Fei when she was the one who caused the tragedy. I didn't really realise what was the difference between surface dwellers etc, but I guess people like Elly are rulers of people like Timothy and them?

It honestly took Fei a while to realise that leaving Weltall (the Gear) around would endanger Lahan since both Kislev and Aveh obviously want it lol. But it's nice that Citan finally explained to him properly that they need to fix it and move it away as far as they can to protect the rest of the people. Took a while for Aveh to get them, but I wonder why Grahf wants Fei to "awaken"? Obviously no one cares about razing Lahan, so doing it to awaken Fei was no problem for them, but why do they have to go through this trouble? Lol at Bart the pirate guy, so rash and silly. Getting stuck underground due to quicksand does not sound fun... But to think that Citan knows the guy on the pirate ship, and his name is Hyuga? Hmm. Ohh so the thing Grahf said about killing God wasn't too insane, since apparently humans and god got along in Paradise until humans ate the forbidden fruit for knowledge and got kicked out, so then humans went to get revenge and somehow made god injured enough to go into sleep? But right before god went to sleep, god made right hearted humans and that's their ancestors... Hmm, so then Grahf is from the humans before? If Balthazar called Weltall a slayer of god, maybe it's one of the Gears back then?

Ohh, so Bart is really some form of royalty! It's a good idea for him to try and create a new power aside from Aveh and Kislev to make things more balanced, since right now, all they continue to do is try to one up each other until the other can't anymore. But it seems that Aveh's Prime Minister Shakhan has captured Bart's cousin because she has half of the puzzle to some sort of treasure? Lmao at the cups floating instead of being picked up by the pixel characters hahahaha. Also, it's nice to know why they're pirates, since it's true that considering their manpower, money etc, they would never be able to excavate ruins at the same rate as the other countries, so they've gotta steal it instead. Surprisingly, Bart was much more mature than I thought. His exchange with Fei after Fei got mad and ran off was really...understandable. I think I really liked the part where Fei said that Bart likes to fight, but Bart says that no one really likes to fight, it's because they all have reasons to fight that makes them have no choice but to fight. I also agree with Bart that the best way to "help" the children from Lahan now is to end this war. I like this part though, Fei may seem annoying but he's just really lost and confused right now, so it's nice to see everyone try not to force him but tell him their perspective. I'm amazed at how proactive Citan is and how responsible he is though. I'm glad he's got his own Gear now! So Shakhan killed Bart's father right before Kislev and Aveh could come to some sort of a truce? That's terrible... Glad to know that Margie/Marguerite seems to be doing well though. Kinda crazy to go into a random house and there's a guy saying he wants miners without families so that if they die, he doesn't need to pay compensation to them...like, wow. Omgg at the thieving kids though! We have to give them 1000G right now to get stuff later on😭 I'm so poor after getting ripped off at the restaurant and the inn, sighh. I thought the inn was 40G for the whole party but it was per person!! Insane!! And then the food!! The food was 300G! Even more expensive than the stay at the inn!! Sigh. This place is so cool though! I can run around with a balloon and a kid laughs at Fei for having a balloon even though he's an adult lmao. Also, loll if you drink the alcohol from a shop, the screen goes wonky because Fei is a bit tipsy or drunk hahaha.

The moment I heard about a tournament, I knew Fei would have to enter. It's funny though that guards would slack off from their post and watch the tournament, so that's the best opportunity to get Bart to go through the sewers and save Margie. Dragon slaying slacker or beloved slacker sounds like a great anonymous name to use in the tournament though hahahah. I'm shocked that Dan is in the tournament, like wow, he's beating adults?! Dang. Anyway, it was pretty depressing to see him bash up Fei for revenge but still not being able to satisfy his hatred, it's understandable though... I wonder who that Mysterious guy was, but honestly, whether it be Ramsus or this guy, they all seem to know Fei. Ramsus was an okay boss though, combos are pretty cool now that I know how to use them lol, never realised you could save your AP by not using it all up when you attack. I didn't think Elly was here though, it was nice of her to save Fei and them, but it was also kind of Fei to tell her to escape with them. As expected though, she's definitely got her own reasons for staying, and it would probably be really bad if she deserted Gebler. I think it was really nice to see that Margie is really faithful to Bart and wants to help him as much as she can, but she feels bad that instead of helping him out, she seems to cause trouble for him instead, which is saddening... But, I think her being safe is a form of support for Bart so I hope she stays safe... I have to admit though, that Chu-Chu stuffed doll she took with her actually being alive and in love with Fei was so random lmaoo, now Fei has a weird fan?

Sending Margie back to Nisan was more emotional than I thought. It was nice to see the variety of reactions towards it, such as the Sisters being so happy to welcome her back, whilst other townspeople are having an important meeting to talk about what they should do if Shakhan were to retaliate etc because Bart kinda "stole" her back. I think the symbolism of the one winged angels in the cathedral was pretty cool, the whole idea of God being able to create perfect beings but choosing not to so that humans would rely on each other was kinda nice; just like how these angels need the other's wing in order to fly. Oh wow, the portrait of Mother Sophia really does look like Elly... I wonder if Citan saying the brush technique of the painting being similar to Fei's means that he painted it or something... It makes me wonder if Elly and Fei are modified humans or something so their life spans are long🤣 Sophia is the founding mother of Nisan huh? 500 years ago...hmm, I wonder if it's related to the legend of the "old humans" and the "new humans". Maybe the "old humans" created by the God back then are people like Fei who don't grow old or die or something haha.

Ohh, both Citan and Sigurd are actually from Solaris (where Gebler is from) and they call foreigners "Lambs", people who are used as slave labour, and they left because they disliked Solaris' doings... Hmm, I wonder if that means the Emperor that Citan thought about in his memories or something is the Solaris Emperor, and he's actually a spy from there coming here to find a way for them to invade or something. That would be pretty crazy, especially since he made a family (Yui and Midori) here... Oh okay, I'm glad they're expanding on what exactly the Solaris Empire is because I've been a bit confused. I never thought that the capital of Solaris was actually in the skies above though!! No wonder why they look down on "surface dwellers", it's like as if they're their own gods since they're in command of distortion fields called "Gates" that allow only them to tread through to the capital. Ohh, Sigurd is actually a "lamb" and was used as a test subject and then escaped by airship (so I guess you can leave and go to Solaris by airship huh?), wheras Citan was actually born in Solaris! Whaaat! Pure Solarians are rare, so they just steal surface dwellers to like have children?! Crazy, absolutely crazy. I didn't think the place Ramsus and Elly came from would be too crazy compared to Aveh and Shakhan but omg, I think they're more insane now lol. I'm not sure what or how bad Ramsus is exactly, but if Citan and Sigurd both revered his ideals and followed him willingly because of his dreams and visions to change the system in Solaris and kinda make test subjects and lower citizens like them have more equal standing and opportunities, I wonder if he lied or did he kinda like brainwash them and take advantage of them due to their weaknesses? Hmm, so the higher up Sigurd and Citan went, they found out that Solaris uses people as human guinea pigs to test out drugs that change people's personalities and make them more aggressive and draw out their latent abilities, which I assume would be beneficial for war? I wonder if that means that the reason why Elly couldn't leave with Fei and them is because she's been affected by drugs like "Drive" and the other variations, and she might die or have withdrawal symptoms that she can't control if she were to leave? I see, so Citan realised that Ramsus was the same as all the others, instead of prioritising rank, he just prioritised skill, in the end, his methods and everything didn't hope to change people's lives for the better, he just put in his own way of ranking them instead.

Hmm, with Gebler on Shakhan's side, it will definitely be troublesome trying to get Fatima Castle/Royal Capital Bledavik back considering the difference in their forces. Ohh, that's a good idea! To use the Kislev Gears they have to lure the smaller Western Guards to think that Kislev is invading! Interesting to know that Vanderkaum was demoted and will be easy to deal with because he's a simple guy and doesn't know how to deal with Gears LOL. Anyway, executing the plan tomorrow is so quick!! It's kinda interesting that Fei will be leading some Gears to cause a diversion with the main unit at the Kislev border so that it'll be easier for the others to infiltrate the capital. Aww it's so cute how Sister Agnes talked about how Margie should prepare herself to be the future queen alongside Bart. Honestly, I think the connection between Bart and Margie is undeniably deep and loving, so I'm all for it! On the other hand, it was nice to see Bart being doubtful whether he's really suitable to be king, since it's normal to think like that, but it was really sweet to see that Sigurd's desire to come home was what gave him motivation to save himself from his kidnapping + brainwashing in Solaris, so it should be natural for Bart to want to go home to his kingdom too.

Miang and Ramsus are a thing?! Anyway, she seems dodgy...I thought she was going to be an unimportant character, but it seems that she actually has her own objectives. Omggg those rocks with the running jumps, so frustrating!! Lol, I wanted to throw my controller loll. Anyway, I feel bad for Elly... She was forced into using 'Drive' to protect her team, but it changes her personality drastically, and it makes her unable to control herself... I'm glad Fei helped her come to her senses but I worry for her since she doesn't feel like she has anywhere to go aside from staying in Solaris, even though they just really want to use her as a weapon due to her potential. Loll at Maison coming to the rescue for Bart using his crab looking robot that can fly, but then the motor died or something so they had to jump away lol. Miang seems much more vicious than she looked in the beginning though, she literally called Shakhan a puppet and said she didn't care who was the puppet as long as they were obedient to Gebler. It's really saddening how wrong everything went though... What was that OP gear that Ramsus wanted to destroy? And did it really kill everyone on the Yggdrasil..? Maison and Sigurd are such good people though... It's kind of nice that Ramsus actually treats Sigurd as an old friend that he trusted back in Solaris, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I feel so sad though, not only did the guys on Yggdrasil sacrifice themselves to protect Bart, but even Maitreya and them who went with Fei on the mission sacrificed themselves for Fei. Why are they so kind and faithful?

Anyway, I'm quite enjoying Xenogears, I think the journey and adventure is actually really fun, but also very emotional. Right now, Elly and Fei's interactions are probably my favourite because of how similar they are to each other, yet they make the other realise things about themselves that they could not find within them. They bounce off each other nicely to show their feelings, their guilt and their sadness really well. I also really love how active and strong Bart is. Initially, I thought he was rash, but really, he's actually quite level minded, and very kind. You can see it in how much the others respect him and believe in him. Citan is still more of a mystery for now, but he is a helpful guide for everyone. But yeah, I love the variety of everything, whether it be the tournament, playing mini games etc. The only thing I hate is all the platforming lolll. Battle system isn't the most interesting either, but I'm just kinda here for the story anyway so it's all good for now lol. (edit: I’ve taken a break from playing Xenogears for a while because it’s so clunky and tedious but I’ll see when I go back to it haha XD)

#xenogears

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thepenultimateunicorn · 4 years ago

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Notes from my Samarkand reread

I basically marked up my whole book (yeah I write in my books sue me) and there’s honestly too much to be said in one post but there were some things I forgot about until rereading, particularly odd character tidbits that might be relevant to any fanfics I attempt to write, and also some stuff that made me do a double take either cause it was funny or I have questions about it or I didn’t absorb it fully the first time or cause it lines up suspiciously with the next two books.

Under a cut cause longposting and incoherent

Mrs. Underwood makes an offhanded comment about Nat looking for the chocolate spread for breakfast. This is almost entirely conjecture, but I do find the idea of Nat liking Nutella cute.

Nat is a swimmer. He took lessons twice every week as a kid with the Underwoods, and in the months leading up to summon Bartimaeus it mentions he swam every morning to improve his stamina and to “grow strong in body”. Summoning has a physical element to it, so being athletic is actually vaguely relevant to magicians. This is a long-winded way of saying I don’t think Nat is as weak and pathetic as we tend to think of him. Idk how much he continued exercising into books 2 and 3, but I find it doubtful he would have just stopped entirely especially with his fixation on remaining in control and staying strong in front of his demons. He’s kind of portrayed as frail and out of breath in parts of Ptolemy’s Gate, but that might be more due to exhaustion than him being a wimp? The bottom line is, he’s not about to get into a fist fight or anything, but I think he could probably take Artemis Fowl if he had to.

In conjuncture with the swimming point, Nat apparently took classes with commoner kids, but was too awkward to make friends early on, and by the age of 8 they were actively avoiding him due to his status :(

Nat knows how to play a lyre (yeah yeah I guess I’m just rehashing his education regimen but this stuff was all things I’d forgotten).

Music also appears to be a trigger for Nathaniel, since it leads to ‘distant memories’ resurfacing, presumably of his life before the Underwoods. This makes me wonder if maybe one of his parents was a musician. Or maybe they just had a lot of music playing in their house. Either way, Nat is sensitive to it.

“You don’t want to die just yet, do you Nathaniel?” StroUD?????

Nathaniel’s birthday is in November. He’s most likely a Scorpio. Could be sagittarius but assuming the first book still takes place in November, but after Nat’s birthday, I’m going with Scorpio. I don’t even believe in astrology, so idk what the significance of this is but it seemed funny.

“Do you beat him?” “Rarely.” is in fact in the book and not just a graphic novel addition. Anyway, Underwood? We’re going to have words.

“He made swift progress with his studies, for his mind was fired with hate.” Ah, spite, the best motivator. Also, what a mood.

“Too much hate is bad for you.” “Why?” The fact that Nat just does not get it...I stan an emotional illiterate.

Nat at 12 and Ptolemy at 14 are the exact same height, according to Bart. Either Nat’s a bit tall or Ptolemy is a bit short. Given the fact that people are on average taller than they used to be, and also Bart labels Nat as very average, I’m rolling with Ptolemy being short by our standards. Kitty at 13 is also slightly taller than Ptolemy, and ergo slightly taller than Nat.

When was Bart’s last pre-Nathaniel summoning? He knows what a Yellow Pages book is, and is familiar with kids playing marbles (both things that started late 1800s/early 1900s as far as I know), so presumably sometime within the last century? I’m really curious what his other adventures during the modernish era looked like.

“Ambition is all very well, my lad, but you must cloak it. If it is too obvious, you will find yourself brought down in flames before you reach your twenties.” StROUD????????

“I shall get that stamped at the ministry directly and you will then officially exist. However, don’t go getting above yourself.” wow such an ego rush, being publically acknowledged to exist. If it isn’t obvious the reread doubled my hatred of Underwood.

Think it’s interesting to note that at the Prime Minister’s address, there are other apprentices and they appear to know each other and the magicians. Nathaniel not having any kind of peer group is an oddity even among magicians, and more so than his powers singling him out, it’s probably because Underwood forcibly isolated him.

“His face mottled with rage, he took two quick steps in Nathaniel’s direction, his hand raised to strike. Nathaniel flinched, but the blow did not fall.” Nat flinches. Underwood has done this before. If he weren’t already dead I’d kill him myself.

I only relate to Underwood once in this whole book and that’s at how upset he is when Lovelace breaks his best teapot.

Nathaniel ran straight into fire, toward Jabor, just because he thought there might still be a slight chance of saving Mrs. Underwood. My heart.

“He was going to his death. Which would have been fine, except he was taking me along for the ride.” I know this isn’t necessarily foreshadowing but why are there so many references to Nathaniel dying in this book? The comparison to Ptolemy and not living very long, most magicians not being as ‘suicidal’ as Nat? The two quotes I marked earlier? Was Stroud really laying the groundwork that early?

More evidence for Nat being high-int/low-wis; he just takes off his pants while swapping into the grocer uniform and when Bart tells him not to put the uniform ones on because he didn’t realize he’d taken his off, Nat just...goes with it? And doesn’t question why Bart is telling him to just ditch his pants????

I forgot that Nathaniel straight up murders someone in this book. And not even in that usual way of children’s stories where the villain’s own mistakes do them in??? Nat just. lobs some mild explosives at him like huh let’s see what this’ll do. (granted Schyler was trying to kill him but it’s still not usual to kid’s books)

“Surrender to my tender claws” “Nathaniel went white” Nat is so freaking scared of Bart? Earlier he was having nightmares about Bart eating him. It really makes their relationship that much sadder.

Bart shouts Nathaniel’s name in the hall at the end. How did nobody hear that and connect the dots? Then again I guess nobody noticed much of Bart towards the end. Nat did manage to pass him off as a foliot.

The reality distortion toward the ending reminded me of Annihilation (a spell turning to flowers, a chandelier turning to a flock of birds). Feel like it could be aesthetically interesting if they ever make that movie.

Devereaux flinching when a literal twelve year old approaches him. How did this man become Prime Minister (yeah yeah, I know, a coup and nepotism, but still)

That’s about it.

Also feel like the climax of this book could have been speeded up if someone had a gun. It wouldn’t be as dramatic but it sure would be funny. Let’s see the Amulet of Samarkand try to defend against bullets.

Okay that’s it.

Also Nathaniel deserved better.

I’m done.

#the bartimaeus sequence #amulet of samarkand #bee reads bart #this was a TIME #the book was so good I've missed this series so much <3

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batfamily--headcanons · 6 years ago

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My Thoughts on Young Justice Season 3 Episodes 1-6

I’m just going to start this off by saying that I love Young Justice. I watched it when it first premiered and I grew up with it, which means that I have been wanting a season three since it was cancelled. When this new season was announced, I was over the moon with nothing but excitement about its return. So these are my thoughts on episodes 1-6 of this season, spoilers ahead if that wasn’t obvious.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first three episodes because I didn’t really care about the whole Markovia storyline. Looking back, they weren’t necessarily bad episodes, but it wasn’t what I was hoping for. We didn’t see that much of the team in the first few episodes after being off the air for so many years. I wanted to see Bart, Jaime, Tim, Zatanna, and all the old favourites.

However, I did like what happened with the League and I am loving Black Lightning's storyline. I am liking this new dynamic between Brion, Violet, and Forager and the fact that Dick is now realizing that he’s the adult in this situation. Being a grown up does suck, I relate, Dick. Of course, there was a huge development in M'gann and Conner's relationship with that proposal. To be honest, I’m shocked that they weren’t already engaged, but I am happy for them, they deserve a happy ending.

Can I just say that all of the mentions of Wally break my heart every time? I mean, I know that he’s probably trapped in the Speedforce and that he’ll probably come back, but still. Artemis living with Will and helping to raise Lian makes me so happy, because Jade isn’t around. At least Lian has two people who love her so much are helping to raise her. I’m also loving Will's character this season and when he called Dick out on needing a Wally West substitute, I was living for it.

The episode with the Harpers and Dick as security guards was honestly my favourite so far. I would watch an entire shows about them being over the top security guards to be honest. "To the SUV" is now something I yell constantly when I’m with my friends. It was just a fun episode of Young Justice, and as much as I love the more serious episodes, it was nice to have some fun.

I will admit that I am very confused about all of these clips of Gar acting like he’s a civilian and him being in a shitty sci-fi show. If I’m remembering this correctly, he was in season two and he was on the team. Yet, Bart and Jaime act like they don’t know him when they’re watching the show on TV. I’m sure all will be revealed soon enough, but it’s just distracting enough to take me out of the show for a few minutes.

The most exciting thing about these six episodes for me, was by far seeing Jason, Damian, and Talia at the end of that episode. I have wanted to see Jay on this show since we saw his memorial hologram, which confirmed that he existed in this universe. Going into this season, there were three things that I wanted to see more than anything. I wanted to see Jason, I wanted to see Damian, and I wanted Bart and Jaime to become canon. The fact that I got two of those in one episode is incredible.

I will admit that when I realized it was Jason, I started shrieking uncontrollably, and given that I live in a dorm I’m sure many people heard. Not five seconds later, there was Talia with baby Damian. Never in my life have I reacted so strongly to something. Jason and Damian are so rarely portrayed outside of the comics, which is probably why I was so excited. I also feel like that answers the question as to who my favourite Robins are.

All in all, I really enjoyed these first six episodes. It’s so good to see my favourite team back in action and I hope that we get to see some more of Bart, Jaime, and the younger team soon. I also hope that we do see more of Jason this season because I need that in my life. The two new episodes just went up and I’ll watch them as soon as I can and I’ll hopefully have another review up soon. What did you guys think of the beginning of this season?

#dc comics #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #young justice #young justice spoilers #yj spoilers #jaime reyes #bart allen

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possiblyimbiassed · 6 years ago

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In need of a Pilot

Come to think of it, maybe even pirates – no matter how lawless and independent they might appear – must sometimes be in need of a pilot, when sailing in unknown waters? :) In this meta I’ll go in-depth into the meaning of “pilot” and play around with some mirrors and metaphors, and I’ll also try to read them as code. Because I think we have a puzzle to solve in BBC Sherlock (as I said here). And I also believe there might be a signal message in TFP telling us to pay attention to code.

As I mentioned in the discussions around the ‘golf-whiskey-x-ray’ message in TFP (X), a “pilot” can mean at least three different - although related - things:

1. The most obvious meaning of the word is a person who flies an airplane, a.k.a. the “captain”. In an aircraft, the pilot and the captain is usually the same person. There might be one or two co-pilots as well, but the captain is the Pilot In Command. In TFP, the lonely little girl on the plane tries to wake up the pilot, who seems to be deeply asleep, but (for some reason) she calls him “the driver”. The four stripes on his shoulder epaulets tell us that this is the captain.

The plane is flying on auto-pilot at the moment, but the girl will need a real, living pilot to be able to land. This is one of the two aircraft pilots we’ve seen in BBC Sherlock this far, and his face is hidden, we never get to see it - who is he? I’ll get back to the substitution of “pilot” for “driver” later in this meta.

The other pilot of this show is the one who in HLV was supposed to take Sherlock on a deadly mission to Eastern Europe. But the orders were changed, and instead she flied him back home again.

In his gay Victorian fever dream Mind Palace scenario in TAB, Sherlock identifies her as Lady Carlmichael. In that scenario he also suspects her of being the murderous Abominable Bride, right? But The Bride actually turns out to be Moriarty in disguise. Or, maybe we should say, homophobia (= Moriarty) disguised as heteronormativity (=‘Mary’)? So apparently, this lady is simply the captain (four stripes) of the aircraft, who has just landed it safely.

2. But in BBC Sherlock, there’s also The Unaired Pilot, which refers to the 60 minutes long pilot episode of Sherlock that was never broadcast. And in this case I believe “pilot” stands for “test pilot”; a (supposed) test to investigate if BBC was interested in producing Mofftiss’ show. You can read about the differences between the Unaired Pilot and ASiP here. (X) @ebaeschnbliah has recently written some very thought-provoking metas comparing the two episodes (X, X, X). One of the interesting differing details that @ebaeschnbliah discusses is the fact that in the Pilot Sherlock claims that he can identify “a retired plumber by his left hand”, while in ASiP this has changed to “an airline pilot by his left thumb. Hmm. Plumbers are never more mentioned in the whole show. Why make such a completely unnecessary change, unless it’s meant to somehow draw the attention to the pilot?

I think my favourite ‘feature of interest’ in this comparison, however, is made by @kateis-cakeis, who recorded a whole video showing how the entire episodes of Pilot and ASiP are perfect mirrors of each other. (X) This isn’t really something we’d expect from a TV show, is it? I mean, from the Pilot and to the first ‘real’ episode there would logically be some changes - and hopefully improvements - in scenery, props, costume, plot points, dialogue etc. But an exact and complete mirroring of the two? Why would the show makers go to all that trouble for something seemingly insignificant? Unless there’s a message...

And if The Pilot and ASiP are perfect mirrors, what’s that message going to be? Well, I would guess: mirrors, mirrors, and more mirrors. :) Because, as we know by now, this show is full of mirrors, metaphors and coding. And (as I explained in this meta) the last component of the ‘golf-whiskey-x-ray’ message to the ship Sherlock and John were traveling with in TFP is “x-ray”, which in marine signals means “Stop carrying out your intentions and watch for my signals.” Or, in other words: they’re telling us to stop whatever we’re doing and pay attention to code.

In ASiB Sherlock tries to figure out the code to Irene Adler’s locked telephone, in order to get access to some compromising photos. But if we see telephones as metaphors for hearts and Adler as a mirror for Sherlock, representing his libido, it must rather be his own heart that Sherlock is investigating, searching for concealed information. At the first attempt he tries 1895 for a code, since this is the number of hits at which John’s blog has stopped:

But it fails; apparently Sherlock’s heart (= Irene’s phone) is not stuck in the year 1895, even if he later sets up his Mind Stage in Victorian times (TAB). Because at the end of TAB Sherlock tells John that “I’ve always known I was a man out of his time”. And S4 shows us that he does indeed get out of it. But since it’s John’s blog that is stuck, maybe it’s rather John than Sherlock who is stuck in old-fashioned thinking and values?

Later on in ASiB, Sherlock uses Bart’s lab to x-ray Irene’s phone.

(Please note the warning sign for radiation to the left; metaphorically there’s apparently some kind of danger associated with this investigation. Later on we also learn that this phone is protected by explosives). This is the only time in the show that we have it confirmed that someone is x-raying something. And, as I said above, “x-ray” is code for “pay attention to code”! Sherlock’s second attempt at code-breaking is his home address on Baker Street, 221B:

Why did he think this was the code? Maybe because he thought Irene would know that 221B means a lot to him? I’m not sure what 221B is supposed to stand for as a metaphor, but maybe his relationship with John? After all, both Sherlock and John seemed to move in to Baker Street the same day, even if Sherlock was first. But also this code is wrong; Sherlock doesn’t seem to be ‘locked’ inside 221B either. In fact, we see Sherlock go to a lot of other places in the show, although 221B is always his ‘base camp’ of operations.

Sherlock’s third attempt results in the number 1058, because this is the number Irene tries to enter on Sherlock’s false replica of her phone.

But it fails too. I’ve tried to look for a possible meaning of this code number, but the only thing I could come up with was that it’s an error message for computer games, related to an ‘anti-cheat’ program. :)) (Maybe someone else has a better explanation?)

It’s not until the fourth and last possible attempt, however, that Sherlock manages to break Irene’s code; “I am Sherlocked” is the message:

So this is what happened to Sherlock’s libido (mirrored by Irene), right? I take it to mean that if Sherlock is ‘sherlocked’, he’s locked within himself! Which would be consistent with the coma theory or EMP theory that Sherlock (at least from HLV an onwards in the show) is comatose, trapped or locked inside his own mind. I made a brief research of the word ‘locked’, and found no less than 17 different occasions in this show when someone or something was referred to as being locked in (or locked out). And for some reason, Sherlock’s favourite case is always a “locked-room mystery”. The main message I get out of this is that Sherlock is living inside his very own version of reality. Like the little girl on the plane in TFP - another Sherlock mirror - he’s locked in and trapped high up above, all alone in the sky. Or like Eurus in TFP (who is the little girl on the plane) he’s locked up in a (mental) high-security, isolated prison.

Anyway - back to the meanings of the term “pilot”. Apparently the ‘pilot’ of this story isn’t Sherlock. Because Sherlock’s mirrors are never a pilot; his mirrors need a pilot. The fact that the producers call their test episode ‘unaired pilot‘ also makes me reflect on something: What if ‘unaired’ means that this particular pilot is actually not airborne, but more associated with a particular ship? ;)))

3. Which brings us to the third meaning of this word; pilot as in Marine Pilot. Or, to quote Wikipedia: “A marine pilot is a sailor who maneuvers ships through dangerous or congested waters, such as harbours or river mouths. They are highly experienced ship handlers possessing detailed knowledge of the particular waterway, e.g. actual depth, direction and strength of the wind, current and tide at any time of the day. The pilot is a navigational expert for the port of call.”

Oh wait – a sailor you say? Ariane deVere has an interesting take on this word, based on her transcripts from TSoT:

SHERLOCK (still looking at John’s phone in 221B): Uniform fetishist. “All the nice girls like a soldier.” JOHN: It’s “sailor.”

Which, according to Ariane deVere, is based on this song:

All the nice girls love a sailor, All the nice girls love a tar; For there's something about a sailor -- Well, you know what sailors are!

Bright and breezy, free and easy, He's the ladies' pride and joy. Falls in love with Kate and Jane, Then he's off to sea again --

Ship Ahoy! Ship Ahoy!

Doesn’t this remind you slightly of someone we know? A kind of ‘serial dater’ who has been around in the world, called ‘three continents’ – something? ;)

In the case of a marine pilot, the captain of the ship is not the pilot; the pilot represents an external authority. But the captain is obliged to listen to the pilot’s recommendations and let the pilot navigate the ship accordingly, through the harbour or the difficult water passage.

In a certain way, I think a marine pilot is also similar to a conductor of light… We’re talking about someone who guides you through unknown waters, someone who can offer you support when you’re out of your depths. In the International code of signals, the first component in the ‘golf-whiskey-x-ray’ code in TFP - “golf” - means “I require a pilot.” So, who is Sherlock’s navigational expert when it comes to the deep waters of human emotions and social interactions? Well, I don’t have to spell it out, do I? :)

At first in their relationship, I think Sherlock saw John as merely a kind of assistant or side-kick, however attractive he found John.

But as time passed, Sherlock came to realize that John was actually a true friend – his only friend, to boot, and someone who used to stimulate his thinking process:

By TSoT, however, when it was already too late, I think Sherlock had the picture crystal-clear about just how essential to him John had become:

But in this show - as shown at the beginning of this meta - the pilot is also called “driver”. We don’t actually see John driving any kind of vehicle until after the wedding, when he drives his own car in HLV, in TST when ‘Mary’ is going into labour, and later when he drives the Aston Martin to save Sherlock. ;) And yet, before that there are several John mirrors identified as “drivers” (I won’t go much into why these are John mirrors, since it has been discussed repeatedly):

a) The cabbie - taxi driver - in Pilot and ASiP. Dressed similar to John, he is trying to murder Sherlock. As has been discussed before, being murdered in BBC Sherlock can be seen as a metaphor for falling in love (and I think this fits perfectly, seeing as this is Sherlock’s very cynical and sinister view of love; to him it’s a ‘vicious motivator’ and a ‘dangerous disadvantage’). The same way it has also been said that drugs is a metaphor for ‘the chemistry of Love. We also know from Pilot that the brain is the only thing that Sherlock values in himself; he regards his bodily needs and desires merely as his transport:

The body=transport metaphor has also been discussed a lot, for example by @sagestreet (X). In the Pilot Sherlock gets drugged by the cab driver Jeff Hope and taken to 221B to be killed (but John aborts this by shooting the cabbie). But if the cab is Sherlock’s transport (=body), and Hope (=John) is the driver, I believe this means that in the Pilot John is driving Sherlock’s body into a relationship (=221B),drugging him with the ‘chemistry of love’ so that he’ll fall in love. :)

b) In TGG (the case of the Bruce Partington plans) a tube guard expresses sympathy with the train drivers, who have to live with people committing suicide by jumping in front of their trains (“strawberry jam all over the lines”). And this is foreshadowing, because it was exactly what John had to witness in TRF, and then live with for two years.

c) In ASiB there’s a driver whose car backfires, and he can’t fix his engine; he’s “getting nowhere”, and he’s dressed like John. @loudest-subtext-in-tv (LSiT) has written a lot about the metaphorical meaning of this (X - scroll down on the google drive to a document labelled Reply Heartbreak Music in The Hiker Scene).

d) There’s one driver mirror in particular that draws my attention, though, and it occurs in TEH when Molly and Sherlock are talking to the train guy with the funny hat (quotes based on transcript by Ariane deVere; my bolding):

MOLLY: Couldn’t he have just jumped off? HOWARD: There’s a safety mechanism that prevents the doors from opening in transit. But there’s something else. The driver of that train hasn’t been to work since. According to his flatmate, he’s on holiday. Came into some money.

Aha – so the driver has a flatmate, has he? But he is no longer at home with the flatmate - apparently he’s gone somewhere...

SHERLOCK: So if the driver of the train was in on it, then the passenger did get off. HOWARD: There’s nowhere he could go. It’s a straight run on the District Line between the two stations.

OK, my interpretation: They couldn’t go anywhere, because of the hetero norm the line is straight. But if they could manage it together, then the passenger would get off. ;) And eventually Sherlock and John discover that there was indeed an un-finished station down by Sumatra road, where the passenger (and the whole compartment) could get off.

And then much later, in TST, we get this conversation with Mycroft about the old tale Sherlock is telling, ‘Appointment in Samara’, where a merchant is trying but failing to defy Death:

(For the record, there are at least two places called Sumatra: one is one of the world’s largest islands, located in Indonesia, and the other is a remote place in Florida, USA. Nearby the latter is a historically interesting site, which used to host people who had escaped from slavery, and the Brits were also involved at some point. There’s also a Sumatra road in London with an un-finished tube station, but it’s located in Hampstead, quite far from the Palace of Westminster)

Getting off at Sumatra means that the bomb will explode though, doesn’t it? So who’s this passenger that the driver (=John) will let get off? Who is this dangerous pirate terrorist?

They’re very similar, aren’t they? Dark, curly hair, high cheekbones... It’s no coincidence, I believe, that Moran’s face is superimposed over Sherlock’s in the very moment Sherlock recognizes his face.

If water is a metaphor for emotions, and air a metaphor for intellect, I think it’s obvious in which areas Sherlock desperately needs his pilot, isn’t it? In the water he needs him to navigate, while in the air he needs him for the landing. ;)

So, in summary: John is the Pilot and the Driver, who is navigating Sherlock’s transport through the murky waters of Sentiment. The Unaired Pilot is all about John. Yes - things may explode, but if they can only tell themselves a better story, overcome their fear and get to Sumatra, they’ll be able to land safely and might even fool Death.

Tagging some people who might be interested: @sarahthecoat @tjlcisthenewsexy @ebaeschnbliah @fellshish @gosherlocked @loveismyrevolution @sagestreet @sherlockshadow @darlingtonsubstitution @devoursjohnlock @tendergingergirl @kateis-cakeis @csi-baker-street-babes @88thparallel @timilina @dieseldrakilis @sherlock-overflow-error @elldotsee

#metaphores in sherlock #The meaning of pilot #mirrors in sherlock

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agameofme · 6 years ago

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Hiraeth

There’s writing that you have to do--as in, you’re obligated to do it--and then there’s writing that you need to do, as in, it’s just sitting there inside you, weighing you down, gnawing at the inner walls of your mind, needing to be expunged so you can do the writing that you have to do.

This is writing that I need to do so that I can get back to the writing that I have to do.

On a recent afternoon I got off BART at the stop near my home and there were Girl Scouts outside at a little table, selling cookies. In an instant an entire scenario played out in my head. I walked up to them, smiling, expressing enthusiasm about getting to buy some cookies, maybe making a comment about how much we all love Thin Mints, though I bet they hear that all the time. I bought a few boxes, wished them well, and went on my way. But none of this actually happened. Instead I just turned away and started walking toward my apartment. Reason being that I figured if I did, in actuality, approach them with the intent of buying cookies, the fact of my obvious transness might, perchance, have made one of the girls noticeably uncomfortable, or perhaps a parent of one of the girls, and I would pick up on this and then I would feel uncomfortable for having made them uncomfortable, and then the whole exchange would be tinged with awkwardness, and I’d just want to end it as quickly as possible to relieve their discomfort at me and my discomfort at their discomfort, and I’d walk away regretting that I’d put any of us through that. Of course I realize that there’s a chance that these particular young people and their present parents are perfectly comfortable around trans people, that there’d be no fleeting “How do I explain this to my daughter later?” flicker across a mother’s face, no girl hesitating awkwardly, caught in a moment of uncertainty about how to address me. But I can’t know for sure, and so even if I tried to approach the situation with the casual, carefree attitude that I wanted to, the fear of the possibility of things becoming awkward would be rattling around in me so loudly that I couldn’t hide it, and my fear of potential awkwardness would awkwardly poison the whole interaction regardless.

This happens all the time. This is how I live my life.

Last month, Bruno Ganz died. I love Wings of Desire, and his performance in it. Like his angel, Damiel, I sometimes feel like I’m observing life, but not really participating in it. I exist at a remove, wondering what real closeness and connection and participation in life are like. I know they can be wonderful.

“I wish I could see your face, just look into your eyes and tell you how good it is to be here...to smoke, have coffee, and if you do it together, it’s fantastic.”

The film punctures the lie that time heals all wounds. For many of us, the waiting and waiting and waiting is the wound.

Bruno Ganz was only a few years older than I am now when he made Wings of Desire. I don’t know why thoughts like that so often occur to me, but they do. I think maybe it’s because I’m so aware of time slipping away from me, time that I never get back, and I really want to start living before I die.

Today, and yesterday, and the day before that, I woke up starving for touch. Often the first thing I’m aware of when consciousness comes to me is a kind of ache in the body, like my skin is the frozen surface of a lake, and there’s warm water far, far below that could bring such relief, but it needs a warm touch on the surface to bring it floating up through the cold, to infuse my skin with life once again. This is one of the ways I am wounded by time.

Anyway, I want to tell you a story.

(Bionic Commando, NES)

It’s actually not about the person I met when I was young, though I wish it was. I’d have only very kind things to say about them, but to write about them would not be a kindness. And so, like so many stories that purport to be about someone else, this is actually a story about the person telling it, and the effect that the other person had on me.

Was I young many years ago, when this story I’m about to tell you happened? I don’t know. I mean, yes, I was, and I am. I’m very young. Young like Yorkie in San Junipero. Her body may be 60 or so, but she’s not really 60, because she’s experienced so little. In the virtual world of San Junipero, she has the freedom to be herself, a young woman looking to form connections and find love for the first time. Even there, her complete lack of experience surprises the woman she clicks with, but still, with Kelly she finds acceptance. She can let her walls down and be honest about who she is, what she’s missed out on her whole life, and what she needs now.

Now I’m physically 42 but really I’m no older than Yorkie. I go on dating sites like Bumble and I can’t help but be extremely aware that I’m very different from most of the queer women on there, not just because I’m trans, and visibly so (though that certainly significantly limits the pool of people who might want to even meet me for coffee), but because I’m so inexperienced, and so guarded, and so aware that it takes a special kind of person to make me feel safe, and able to be honest and real.

Of course, I have had long, close relationships before, but that was before I transitioned, and despite all my efforts to pretend otherwise, there was always a barrier between me and my partners, because those relationships were all predicated on a fiction, the role I tried so hard to play while gender dysphoria carved up my insides. I was profoundly uncomfortable with my body, and didn’t really inhabit it throughout all those years. It was as if my soul was hiding away, trying to make itself as small and as removed as possible from the anguish of reality, possibly curled up into a tight little ball in my left pinky toe, barely present in the real world, always seeking escape into books and songs and movies and video games.

Now I’m uncomfortable with my body for an entirely different reason: it seems to prevent people from seeing me for who I really am. I’m definitely in less pain having transitioned, and there’s a relief in living with the integrity of being honest with the world about who I am, but still, the world can’t see me clearly. I’m misgendered constantly, and because I know I’m not clearly seen by the world, fear factors into every decision I make. I’m never free of it. Do I dress the way I dress because this is how I want to dress, or do I dress the way I dress because I’m trying to make myself invisible, because I’m afraid of drawing potentially hostile attention to myself? I don’t know, and as long as fear remains present, I can’t know.

Whether or not it’s true, I feel as if I exist entirely outside the marketplace of desire as a queer woman, and that the only times people want me are when they see me as something I’m not. One woman I dated briefly repeatedly misgendered me and even admitted to me once that she fantasized about me being a man. One woman made a pass at me by saying that she saw me not as a woman or a man but just as a person. How can I be present in a relationship if I know that I’m being seen and desired expressly as things I feel like I’m not, and not as who I am?

Loneliness is hallmarked by an intense desire to bring the experience to a close; something which cannot be achieved by sheer willpower, or by simply getting out more, but only by developing intimate connections. This is far easier said than done, especially for people whose loneliness arises from a state of loss or exile or prejudice, who have reason to fear or mistrust as well as long for the society of others.

--Olivia Laing, The Lonely City

So. Let’s talk about Alex.

I’ve written about Alex before. I don’t know if i’ll write about Alex again. Some writers are fond of saying that all of us who write essentially write the same story again and again and again, but I’d like to have a new story to tell. I know Alex wants that for me too.

It was several years ago now that I met them. I was in a weird place at the time, having just gone through an intense defrost cycle on my heart. After focusing on transition and not giving much thought to relationships for many years, I’d had an encounter that made me painfully aware that finding love, closeness, and connection was supremely important to me.

There’s a great deal I can’t tell you about Alex that I wish I could tell you. What I can say is that they just had a particular kind of sincerity about them that put me at ease. Very few people can do that. I didn’t feel the anxiety around them that I feel around so many people. I didn’t mind just existing in silence with them. Time with most people drains my batteries. Time with Alex recharged them.

Alex did and still does things that I admire greatly, and I find them fascinating as a person, and I wanted more than anything to engage in the endless process of getting to know them. In the 1990 Hal Hartley movie Trust, a character asserts that respect, admiration and trust equal love. I don’t know if it’s as simple as that, but I do know that all those ingredients were there.

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I could tell that Alex knew what suffering was in their own way, and that they struggled sometimes, which is essential if I’m going to be able to relate to someone, but Alex wasn’t wounded in the same ways or the same places that I was wounded, which is also essential. If you put me next to someone who’s like me, there’s just a chasm between us. All we can do is spin our wheels. Alex was someone I could relate to and understand, and also learn from.

Anyway, it eventually came to pass that Alex knew how I felt, just as I knew that Alex would never see me the way I wanted them to see me. The circumstances of this dual revelation would make for a more symbolically fraught movie scene about the anguish of a lifetime spent feeling invisible than anything I could concoct in a work of fiction, but I won’t go into the particulars. Suffice it to say that the next night, Alex and I met, I guess in the hopes of clearing the air. We sat on Alex’s couch, and Alex put their arm around me.

I suppose that’s the sort of thing you might do if you grow up in a somewhat healthy family that teaches you that your love has value.

The effect it had on me was the feeling of years and years and years of ice melting away, warm water rushing to the surface, my skin and my soul awakened in a way they never had been before. I simultaneously wanted to kiss Alex and to fall asleep in their arms. I wanted to sit there talking and laughing quietly while letting phrases like “I love you” slip out of my mouth, and I wanted to cry, to let loose all the grief that I’d carried around with me for so long and had never been able to share with anyone. I actually did laugh at the sheer wild luck of it all, of finding myself in that moment, and I laughed, too, at the wonderful surprise of discovering, after spending all my life in moments that I couldn’t fully inhabit, that really being there, right there with Alex, was the easiest thing in the world.

If I died tomorrow, and it turned out that, like in Hirokazu Koreeda’s film After Life, I had to choose just one memory to take with me, that would be it, the time I spent in Alex’s arms that night.

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When I left, it felt as if the whole world was vibrating. That’s not an exaggeration or some kind of metaphor. I mean that it felt to me as if everything was humming, as if all of existence had become charged with life, or perhaps as if all of existence were always charged with life, and for the first time I could see and feel it, because for the first time I was part of it.

Maybe this is what Sam meant in Gone Home when she said she felt like a shook-up can of soda. Maybe almost everyone experiences something like this when they’re young, and they learn that they can be loved. But I still haven’t learned that. I’m still waiting for my first mutual experience of it. I don’t expect love to mean undergoing a massive spiritual experience every time the person I love touches me. Not at all. I want to get to a point where being held by someone I really like doesn’t feel like winning the goddamn lottery. But when you’ve waited for it for as long as I have, it’s powerful, when it finally happens. I don’t expect love to be grandiose. For the most part, my time with Alex wasn’t grandiose. It was low-key friendly get-togethers, conversations over drinks at bars, playing games together, or just working quietly on our own things in the same place at the same time. That was all it had to be.

Of course, I knew even as I was sitting there with Alex, being brought to life by their warmth and their presence and their touch, that they didn’t mean for it to affect me so profoundly. They were just trying to comfort me, their friend, in the hopes that it might be easier for me to let go, to move on, to just be friends. The next day they texted me and asked me if I was feeling better. What could I say? That the night before had changed my life, that it was the most incredible thing I’d ever experienced and that I was, if anything, more full of yearning than ever before, that all I wanted was to hold them and be held by them?

I said that yes, I was feeling better, and left it at that. That was years ago now, and in all the time since, I haven’t met anyone else yet who has felt like a chance to me the way Alex did.

Sometimes some of my friends say that monogamy is bullshit. The people who say this around me, though, are always attractive people for whom love and affection and touch are widely available around the city in or the planet on which they live. When people ask me if I’m poly (as they occasionally do, I suppose because I’m a queer-identified woman living in the San Francisco Bay Area), all I can do is laugh. I can’t even find one person I like and who likes me who I want to know deeply, with whom I feel safe, with whom I can be vulnerable, with whom I can take my time to form a bond of closeness and trust. If my life were completely different, if the world taught me to move with confidence rather than fear, if the world taught me that I was seen rather than invisible, would I be poly then? I can never know the answer to that. We are all shaped by our experiences within the world, the messages the world sends us about ourselves, and if the world sent me different messages about myself, I’d be a different person. But I do resent the attitude among some that polyamory is inherently more enlightened or radical than monogamy. I think that in this world, where people so often use other people and then dispose of them, there’s something radical about ordinary devotion to one person, between two people who know each other deeply, trust each other completely, have seen each other at their worst, and still support and rely on each other.

The other question I get, I guess because of my lack of experience, is whether I might be asexual. But I’m not. When things are firing on all cylinders, I’m definitely sexual. But I really need to feel safe and seen with someone, seen and desired as the woman I am, and the world doesn’t make me feel that way, so it takes time for me to feel that way with an individual. Over and over again on the dance floors of life, I see people seeing each other, desiring each other and being desired, and I feel invisible, and I’m still dancing on my own.

Alex felt like home. I’m still looking for home. Not the exact same kind of home that Alex felt like. Everyone’s love makes a different kind of home. Just a home, one where I feel safe and seen, with someone I trust and respect and admire and can learn from and have fun with and be myself with, a home where I’m inclined to let down the walls that I have spent so long building up. In a world where everything about my life is complicated, feeling the way I did about Alex was the simplest, easiest thing. I know it doesn’t stay that way, but it seems to me like a good place to start.

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kc-meets-dc · 6 years ago

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Okay, a couple things. But first...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Okay, now that I’m through freaking out, let’s begin...

This season is AMAZING!!! We are only three epsiodes in, but, my God, I am HOOKED ALREADY!

So, Kaldur went from being the leader of The Team to leading the DAMN JUSTICE LEAGUE??? YES!!! And then Batman? WTF, man?! You, Arrow, and your damn sidekicks can’t just leave like that!!! What about Arrowette and Spoiler being on The Team? What happened to that??? It hurts even worse knowing that the original photo of them standing with Tim, Cassie, Bart, Jaime, and Traci from this was titled “The New Team” when it was first released.

Oh, also, apparently Tim decided to just TELL EVERYONE HIS SECRET IDENTITY??? Isn’t that Batman’s one rule? Never tell ANYONE your secret identity? Either that or Cassie just forgot about that rule in the moment, since it was pretty obvious before the season even began that she would know it anyways.

And I’m just gonna fast forward a little bit to CONNER PROPOSING TO M’GANN!!! WOOOOOOOO!!! WE MIGHT BE GETTING A SUPERMARTIAN WEDDING THIS SEASON AFTER ALL!!! (Think I can get Weisman to look at my ideas for their wedding from my original script?) Oh, btw, I am digging M’gann’s new design! Seems like she’s finally come to grips with the fact that she’s a White Martian, and you know what that is? Growth!

So, Artemis just... Lives with Roy? Or, Will, I guess? I’m trying to figure out what the name change could mean. From what I can tell, there aren’t any superheroes named Will related to Green Arrow. There are only two examples of the name being used in correlation to that superhero I could find: his son in the Arrowverse and, the more likely reason why Roy’s calling himself Will, Will Harper: one of the names Roy’s father in the comics was called by. Also, I really like Roy/Will with a beard. It suits him. And I love his last line there. “Well, Richard, I mean Dick, who are you here to recruit this time?” Absolutely perfect, and probably/hopefully not the last time Dick’s name is used to also call him a dick this season.

Goddamn, Dick is good at the stealthy stuff. And how the hell does he have all this amazing tech? Probably courtesy of Barbara, or perhaps Lucius Fox. Idk. Might even be both of them. No confirmation that Barbara is paralyzed, but then again we never see her onscreen, so I imagine that’s the writers’ way of telling us they’re gonna save that detail for a big dramatic reveal later. Though, I imagine it won’t really be all that dramatic for the vast majority of us. Oh, well.

HOW MANY TIMES THIS SEASON ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH CHILDREN DIE??? First Ana on Rann, then, for like two seconds, Halo, then those four kids Vertigo Boom Tubed away probably, then Halo again for another two seconds, then Otto. WTF, fisherman dude??? Plasmus was HELPING the heroes! That means he most likely WAS NOT a damn monster! I really hope what Black Lightning told him sticks with him, because goddamn was that a stupid move!

Also, GAR AND QUEEN PERDITA??? Um, HELL FREAKING YES!!! And they met at Wally’s funeral! I knew she’d attend that! I made a post about it and everything! Oh, and speaking of our favorite missing (Not dead! NEVER dead) reheaded yellow speedster...

Now, we move on to the part we’ve all been waiting for... Wally! I think that there are clues being shown to us via the images in the credit sequences in regards to him getting resurrected in the future! I’ve figured out the first two. The first episode’s image is Brucely holding a Kid Flash doll, and, good lord, they could not be making this any more obvious. The image from episode two is Sphere: possibly a hint that the New Gods will have a hand in whatever brings Wally back. Then there’s the third image which I can’t make any sense of...

A house. More specifically...

I think it’s this house: the one Miss Martian and Superboy now live in. Notice the part of the house furthermost towards the bottom of the image. Put a jeep in front of that, and you’ve got what they’re showing us in that last credit image. Now, showing this image makes no sense whatsoever for the third episode, as the house only appears in episode one, so they must be trying to say something else by showing it to us: namely something to do with Wally’s future resurrection, if there truly is a connection between the images and that happening. Perhaps they’re saying that Superboy and/or Miss Martian will also have a hand in bringing him back? Miss Martian seems the more likely answer, as I believe that’s most likely her jeep in the credit image. But, then again, that jeep wasn’t there when we were shown the house when M’gann and Conner were both home. So, whose jeep is it then? And what might the owner have to do with Wally coming back in the future? I guess we’ll have to find out later.

Finally, I’d like to bring up one more point in why I think Wally will definitely be coming back. After Otto is killed by that fisherman douche, Halo says she can’t heal him because he wasn’t alive anymore. And the most curious thing about Wally’s death is that Jaime’s Scarab never said he would die. He specifically (And also, I think, very carefully on the writers’ part) said he would CEASE. Halo can’t heal dead things, but maybe she can heal ceased things. What if Wally didn’t actually die? I’m not saying he was sucked into the Speed Force like everyone thought before, since the Speed Force doesn’t exist on Earth-16, but maybe Black Beetle’s MFD just turned him into pure energy. That’s kind of what his death looked like. He just faded away into blue light. What if that energy is still there? And what if Halo can reform that energy from the spot Wally died back into Wally? Ohhhh, this is very exciting! Very exciting, indeed!

I’ll probably be making more posts about today’s episodes throughout the day, but for now I’m gonna go back and rewatch the episodes to see if there’s anything I might have missed. It’s a habit of mine, don’t judge me.

#young justice #yjspoilers #young justice season 3 #young justice outsiders

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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New 52 TEEN TITANS #3 Read Along - The fact this got made is still shocking.

It’s been a while since I done one of these. It’s probably been since last year or so. This isn’t so much of a formal review where I try my best to explain why something doesn’t work, with tons of back references, or interviews, and contexts, and such. I might do some of that, but I’m mostly just writing this along the same time I continue to read it.

I’ve already done the first two issues, and if I can I’ll link them in the post somewhere.

Basically, this series gets about everything wrong about the returning Core Four for this reboot. They made Cassie the tomboy a “girly” thief, Conner the punky flirt a creepy emotionally numb stalker, Tim the insecure dork a super genius that blew up part of a freaking skyscraper, and Bart the teen with an attention span problem into an arrogant jerkwad loudmouth.

With the origins later given in the series, the boys are revealed to not reaally be the characters we knew at all in a more literal sense. This Conner is a clone of an alternate version of Jon, not Clark and Lex. This Tim Drake, is literally only Tim Drake in name only, as that’s the name this teen got in witness protection. And this Bart Allen, isn’t even related to Barry.

So these are versions of the characters that are them in literally name only, bar Cassie (sadly). Although, they’d later retconned Tim’s origin back (which doesn’t make sense). But what else can I compare them to but the originals?

A really common criticism of this series, and one that’s pretty dang valid in my opinion. Is just how unlikable everyone is-- or at least the Core Four, because I feel like we can all be honest and say that most people just read this for the Core Four, and sometimes Bunker. (Like Bart’s condescending here. Like “I’m Kid Flash, girl.” Maybe I’m just reading it too 1940s, but it comes off as really dickish.)

I mean seriously, how many people do you know talk abut Skitter? The original characters that Lobdell came up with are really hit and miss for me, mostly miss. Because I find Skitter so forgettable, that even though I’ve read the first few issues of this series just for entertainment value, I still forget she exists. She could’ve been so much more interesting, but he just doesn’t give her much.

To me, a good character has a personality that you can notice, grab onto, and have lots of unique stories with, that simply work, not even because it causes a great drama, but just because the perspective the character will have in any situation depending on the circumstance will be interesting.

Which is one of the reasons why I find Tim an interesting character, because his perspective is one that’s very interactive with any given circumstances but will still work for me. An insecure, super hero fanboy, that’s doing his best to be brave, but is secretly scared, with the cleverness to do things, but the anxiety that he can’t. Which the circumstances they give him, like having to make sure he proves he should be Robin, having parents at home, not feeling like he’s good enough, constantly seeing others better them him. It’ll just make him an interesting perspective to read from that won’t get too repetitive in any way that interferes with the enjoyment, because there’s a lot of levels you can take his harsh feelings, or things to interact with, that it won’t always be predictable what’s going to happen with him, and you want to read to see more.

With this series and quite a bunch of other original characters made, they have soap opera writing. Which works with fleshed out characters like the iconic 80s incarnation of the Teen Titans, but when the new characters don’t have a well-formed personality that you can really grab onto and gain constant interest and intrigue from, you just have a lame duck.

When your main character’s traits are “I’m angsty and sad”. No one is going to be able to invest themselves with that. They need to be more third dimensional and genuine to make them a character you want to pick up each issue for.

This series even with the old characters fails at that, by making them into absolute butchered heaps of rotted rump rather than their full personalities.

At least the art is pretty creative early on in it’s second page, I will give it that.

Then there’s Bunker--

--who I really want to like, but just can’t find myself enjoying.

A lot of these characters I’m unfamiliar with I want to like. They’re minority characters with very interesting concepts, but writing so flat that it ruins any chance of paying attention to them. A common curse when it comes to POC and a bad writer like Lobdell.

But Bunker actually has a personality, but the reason why I can’t find myself attaching myself to him is because he feels like an uncomfortable stereotype character. An outdated one that you’d see in the 80s or 90s to either seem inclusive or use as a joke rather than a true deal character.

Bunker is a flamboyant, religious, fashion involved, gay, Latino. Something that feels like you’d really bet he wouldn’t be if he wasn’t gay or Latino, because it’s just all based in stereotypes. Like if the pages weren’t colored, and you didn’t have the context he was gay, you’d probably still guess what he’s supposed to be just because of how much they involve stereotypes with him.

However, despite the stereotypes, he is the one most people can remember from this series beyond the core four, because he at least has a personality, and they actually try to build up a unique mystery to him, that would make you want to continue to know them.

And there is something about his confidence and religious beliefs, and determination that does feel very genuine, and makes you actually like him despite the stereotypes.

You want to know what makes you able to tell he’s a better made character than the other relatively new, to straight up new characters? You can actually talk about him, and have a lot more to say about them then his backstory, two personality traits, and angst. Even if his personality seems limited at first, they still write it in a way that’s genuine enough that you can get more out of it, a lot like what I was describing with Tim earlier.

He still feels like a character that you could write a solo about, and with a good enough writer and personal life, would actually make for a very rereadable series, because you just enjoy seeing him on his journey, because it won’t always be the same exact things. He has loyal personality traits about him, but depending on his circumstances, it won’t be the same side of him you’re seeing, and it won’t feel contrived. He has potential to become a true third dimensional character, and not one that just feels like he looks like one, but isn’t really.

But that depends on where the writing goes with him-- and I can’t remember where it goes. But take away the dated stereotypes and there’s actual good potential with Bunker. Making your character feel like another decade’s minority caricature is kind of a turn off when it comes to feeling comfortable reading them.

Which is why some don’t tend to like him.

There’s not a lot to say about this quick page of Cassie, besides the fact they make her come across as apathetic and nuts. She’s also mildly sexualized given it looks like she’s posing for a fashion shoot and not just closing a door, which feels pretty typical of the team that made this book.

And because of Lobdell’s bizarre writing and tone changes, I don’t know if this is supposed to be taken as serious or comedy, because of how abrupt it is, and how a fight broke out right after and we find out the old guy is Tim somehow convincing someone he isn’t like-- 15? I think he’d be either 14 or 15, not because that’s how Lobdell intended him to be, because I believe in a now lost interview he said Tim was “probably” 16 or 17. However, they didn’t settle on Tim’s age till Damian was near thirteen, meaning Tim would’ve been either fourteen or fifteen here, depending if Damian was eleven as I remember, or ten at the start of the New 52.

And here’s some more out of character Tim, because New 52 is what you get when you skim through Red Robin without any context, and being edgy is still really popular with the teenage demographic at the time.

This is a Tim that blew up a building, is an incel towards Cassie, and is overall an arrogant prick.

How Lobdell thought anyone thought any of a good idea is beyond me, but I figure he’s just not self-aware enough to realize that he just made one of the most unlikable protagonists I’ve ever seen, and absolutely bastardized who was once a mega-fan-favorite.

Although, this is pretty cute and in-character. It’s something that definitely fits in with a classic Tim comic, but down let this make you think Lobdell knows how to write Tim, because he makes it really obvious all the time that he doesn’t really.

And that’s basically everything relevant that happens in this issue-- not a lot when you actually read it, and not just me spouting off the proverbial mouth as I try my best to mentally process this freaking comic.

Conner doesn’t even show up, most likely because he was the only one with a solo, that Lobdell was also writing (you can probably guess accurately what the quality of that was too).

A lot of it is just more of the same, and it’s tedious, although it’s tedious nature is not so much on Lobdell, as he’s said in interviews before that it was editorial or a publisher (I can’t remember to be honest) that made him not have them previously know each other. So he had to work from that.

Which goes to show just how much DC knows how their characters and teams work, given the reason why Young Justice worked so well was because Tim, Conner, and Bart, already had stories where they duo’d up, and teamed up before they were even official. Which allowed them to have a preconceived friendship, they could build dynamics that were naturally built off of their unique personalities, which made everything feel natural and good to go when they did have an official team comic.

Here you have a Tim, that’s supposed to be very much a rookie of only one year, acting like he’s the greatest protégé talent ever, searching out for metahumans and coincidentally running into them, just to make some kind of story that would explain them being together for a team.

I’m not saying they have to redo the duo stuff again, because I’m pretty sure most readers already know their dynamics, and as for new readers, it doesn’t take a lot of time to say “We’re just good friends that like hanging out” does it? They have issue zeroes for each comic for a reason, they could’ve easily had a nice summary there if they wanted.

New 52′s obsession with trying to fit everything they can in, but have everyone still be relatively new, made everything a mess.

Like isn’t it weird that Superman only started being a super hero FOUR YEARS before Tim was? Doesn’t that sound entirely too squeezed in?

Then because they messed with the characters so much it works less for old readers as well. Like they have Tim, only a year in, acting like all the out of character elements of Red Robin, with an origin that’s a Bizarro styled mirror of his original one, with nothing that made him the popular character he used to be.

Same for the others.

New 52 is partially scary, because it shows just how little they know about what made them work.

I’m not against reboots in comics as a concept, they do need some modernization, and clean-ups every now and again, but you have to keep what works in there, or else the reboot will be a total failure. And paint-jobs and fan service like Rebirth aren’t gonna work either, when the heart of it all is still just so bad.

All this is a lot easier to say in hindsight, but DC Comics really has to work towards remembering their mistakes if they actually want to get better again. They’re doing a bit better at it, as forced and contrived as it can be sometimes. So they are getting somewhere.

But this is only the start of a Didio-less era. Looking like good things are coming, and little presents that truly make it seem true, is something that’s only going to last for a little bit. They have to still do the work, and learn what worked for their characters in the first place, and reremember who they all are.

Otherwise sales will just get worse again.

But I’m genuinely hoping they’ll at least begin to learn from mistakes. No one gets a win otherwise.

Oh, and he’s the entirety of the fight advertised on the cover. “Red Robin vs. Bunker”.

They stop fighting right after this.

It’s the comic book equivalent of clickbait if I’ve ever seen it in my entire life.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Red Robin #Bart Allen #Kid Flash #Cassie Sandsmark #Wonder Girl #New 52 #Teen Titans #DC Comics #Only tagging them because odds are those are the only tags people will check

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