#the adventures of captain fabian

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price in a smoking jacket -

The Adventures of Captain Fabian (1951)

[contentabnormal]

This week we present Vincent Price as Simon Templar in The Saint adventure "The Shipboard Mystery"!

[connecting-the-stars]

Thistlecaster has infected me so much that after my collection of ideas for fics that had everyone or focused on solo one character, pieces of my doc had some drafts with Thistlecaster and then it became paragraphs and now half of my doc is Gorgug and Fabian fluff and angst. Lmao

I keep bouncing between adding to my unnamed dabbles for Snow Quest in the mountains unconnected to anything in s3 with lots of fluff and pining and Space adventure with Fabian joining an already established Bad Kids.

[heytherecentaurs]

I think Izzy on Adventuring Academy is correct that “chaotic” is an adjective disproportionately attributed to women players. Aside from Ally Beardsley, but that’s a whole other discussion regarding queerness and women in nerdy gaming spaces.

That being said here are some examples of men who are chaotic players:

Lou Wilson - Besides the Fabian almost dying example mentioned in the Adventuring Academy episode, we have Pinocchio’s whole hotdog bit, the pole dancing on his own nose, and his entire presence in the first episode. (“I’m the prince of Shoeberg, motherfucker”) Then there’s Squak who loves starting chaotic shit. Even Gunnie has to get in on the chaos.

Caldwell Tanner - If you’re not listening to Naddpod you’re missing out. He is incredibly chaotic. The shenanigans Beverly gets into is peak chaos. (Also Emily Axford is there to egg him on.). Early examples include a bullywug mating call and goofing a god. Even as a DM he’s chaotic. Look at Trinyvale, which is designed through pure chaos. (He, as video game character Gex, said the immortal words “I’m young, hung and full of tongue” which will live etched into my soul forever.) The world isn’t flat, it’s a cube!! Then there’s Hungry Dave in Hot Boy Summer who flings Frisbees and eats a spell. (Zac, Murph and Jake are also very chaotic in this too.)

Freddie Wong - D20 fans know him from Mentopolis in which he killed a police captain and has super hard testicles. But if you listen to Dungeons and Daddies you know he’s pure chaos. He takes huge cartoony swings and they are usually chaotic. Truly one of the most uncontrollable players out there. I’m more shocked when Freddie makes a grounded decision than a chaotic one.

Brian Murphy - I know what you’re thinking. “But but but he’s the rules guy. He’s a plot hound.” True but he’s also very chaotic. He makes the choice to eat the dragon that ate his dad. (Delicious in Dungeon style) Also Barry 6 has unhinged chaos moments equal to anything Emily does. What about Cody Walsh? Everything he does. He sold his soul in .25 seconds and smashed his face with a brick. Then there’s Jens Lyndelle, quite possibly the most wretched and chaotic piece of shit ever invented. Murph is sneaky chaotic. Yes he loves being a plot hound but so does Emily. The story and the game mechanics are vehicles for both of them to behave chaotically.

In a lot of these examples these guys are playing with Emily Axford and bringing a very similar energy. Yet she’s the one labelled chaotic. Lou is the more chaotic of the duo in ACOFAF. Caldwell and Murph match her freak on Naddpod. So, I do think there’s a disparity here and it does seem sexist. When Ally started playing they were a more female-presenting queer person. Or as they’ve phrased it, they “come from lesbianism”. So, I think you can certainly view it as a sexist label that stuck. But also let’s not overlook how queerness is viewed through the patriarchy as a feminine trait. Like misogyny and homophobia are spidermen pointing at each other. So it comes as no surprise the very openly queer person whom we watched transition on D20 is also labelled chaotic.

[let-me-sleep-or-die]

Anyone ever notice how similar Lydia Barkrock is to Gorgug? like just

Gorgug is a barbarian but is somehow the most gentle member of his party, the most thoughtful, easily the most in touch with his emotions. He only uses his rage to protect the people he cares about, his family is incredibly important to him, and his friends are family.

Lydia is another gentle giant. She is in a constant state of rage so she may protect her son (and the rest of the world). She is kind, she is nurturing she is a loving mother to Ragh and to everyone else who needs her. She also loved her party.

She and her friends set out to stop a fiend, to save the world. She’s clearly smart, even if she doesn’t have the classic knowledge that is associated with it she’s obviously intelligent. She didn’t need to know all the history, she had her friends for that. And then she was the last one standing, the only one alive, her friends were dead and she was holding the thing that killed them right next to her heart.

It makes me wonder if Gorgug could end up just the same. If the bad kids didn’t survive an adventure, he was left alone with his anger, his artificers instinct and a family to avenge. He uses his rage to protect people, he doesn’t like just lashing out, he makes machines so he can connect with loved ones, so he can understand the world. He’s so smart, but he doesn’t have to know all the history, he’s got Adaine and Riz for that, he doesn’t need to know about the way gods and the nine hells work, Kristen and Fig are right there. He doesn’t need to lead the Owlbears, Fabian his trusty captain will light the way.

What if they all were gone. And he was left,

a hole in his heart, an ache and a gentility not caused by an absence of anger, but by a deep deep understanding of it.

What does he do then? I think he does the only thing he can

after all

He’s Gorgug, he keeps going.

[emiko-matsui]

Okay, I just need to get something out of the way when it comes to the Kipperlilly conversation nobody's brought up yet, which I think is insane. Almost all of The Bad Kids would be more powerful if they didn't have their tragedy porn tragic backstories.

First of all, this doesn't apply to Fig and Gorgug because if Fig wasn't Gorthalax's child she would be a lot like Kipperlilly and not the ruler of hell. I wouldn't say Gorgug has a tragic backstory, he's got a pretty normal growing up experience with ups and downs.

Let's start with her #1 nemesis, Riz Gukgak. She's so jealous that his dad was murdered and that gives him an advantage in the adventuring life. To be crude, no, it doesn't. What would give Riz an advantage in the adventuring life would be living with someone who has a direct contact to all the government's inner workings and conspiracies. Now that would be an advantage. That gives you connections and clues that no one else can get. This is not what happened. What happened was eating cereal with water for breakfast, what happened was not getting an opportunity at college, what happened was a 9 year old who stopped sleeping, what happened was not your secret agent dad giving you an advantage in the school conspiracy because he's dead. Otherwise he fucking would've.

And now Kipperlilly's new #1 nemesis, Kristen Applebees. She was ostracised from her religion for her sexuality, she achieved sainthood, and raised a dead god back to life. None of this would've happened if she hadn't been raised in The Harvestmen. No, it wouldn't, but what would have happened if Kristen had been straight? Disgusting thought, yes, I know, but let's talk about it. A Kristen who never left Helio behind would have so many more fucking advantages than the one with Cassandra has. If she had followed her birthright she would be the only chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods. Sol is the biggest god in Spyre and Helio is his son. Helio does not have a chosen one anymore because Kristen left. It's not a title that's just given out, it could only have been Kristen. You know what's an advantage? Being the chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods, being a god's spoken favourite, and deified by all of that god's followers. Now that would be an unfair advantage. You know what's not an advantage? Being homeless at 14 and being at the mercy of your ex-girlfriend's uncle for housing, dying and having absolutely no one there for you so you're only option to survive is to trust your own abilities enough to raise yourself from the dead, and failing school because of biased teachers.

And what of Adaine Abernant? The Elven Oracle? Her tragedy porn tragic backstory is surviving an abusive home. Now I just have to imagine that Adaine would have it a lot easier than most students, an incredible amount of unfair advantages, if her old money parents paid for every wizard whim she wanted, kept her diplomatic immunity so she could do literally anything she wanted without consequences, and gave her a direct contact into the heart of the Fallinell government. Now that is what I would call an insane amount of unfair advantage. I would be furious at this rich kid who's never had to work for anything myself. This is not even close to the case. She's barely passing classes because she can't afford the material you're required, she goes to the guidance counsellor for panic attacks, and she's being hunted by her home government. I'd say that's about every single thing in her life working against her having it easy.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster. He's complicated since he is very privileged already. He gets 5000 gold a month just for existing. He's the captain of the Owlbears because he killed the previous one. He lives alone in a mansion. Yeah, that's pretty privileged. His parents are also so severely fucked up that if they hadn't been filthy rich they would've been absolutely horrible for him. If he had parents who unconditionally supported him and stayed with him through everything, then we could talk about perhaps the most powerful person in Elmville. In Solace possibly. The most feared pirate in history who single-handedly dismantled a monarchy and fights against armies on his own is at your beck and call, does whatever you ask him to, and loves you more than anything. The greatest swordswoman in the world, that bested the most feared pirate in the world, the daughter of one of the most influential elven families and immortal will do anything you ask her, loves you to bits, and would cheat any rules for you. To have that would just be insane. You can argue that Fabian already has unfair advantages because of his social status and inheritance. This is true, but this is also true within his own adventuring party. Now his parents aren't helping him with anything and are determined that he reach his legendary status on his own. Otherwise talk about a fucking advantage.

All this to say is that if Kipperlilly got all of The Bad Kids tragedy porn like she wanted she wouldn't have been better, but she would've made them better. There is an adventuring party out there in the multiverse that has a secret agent at their disposal, the only chosen one of a Sol religion, Bill Seacaster and Hallariel Lomenelda unprompted in their corner, and a seer with unending resources and diplomatic immunity. These would've been people you start a platform about adventuring not being fair for everyone because of. The people you went against was a homeless kid, a kid with an anxiety disorder, a trust fund kid, and someone with PTSD.

I've seen your posts about Kipperlilly being wrong for her validation, but right in the fact that The Bad Kids have been given larger plots and mysteries because of their families and circumstances and I don’t want to fucking see another one. When you make that I want you to think about the adventuring party they would've been without their backstories. The insanely powerful and privileged adventuring party that almost happened. Their life got made worse, not easier because their life could have been so fucking easy. Kipperlilly can take all the tragedy porn she wants and then maybe realise that that's not what makes the adventurer. That the reason she's mad at The Bad Kids is the only reason she can even tangentially compete with them.

[milkcos]

lemonade mouth/band au! more notes under the cut

lemonade as in like the disney movie! so there are a couple like clear comparisons but mostly it's the bad kids get stuck in detention together except they form a band instead of an adventuring party

fabian > no equivalent (olivia vibes)

the most popular kid at school who is both in dance and on the football team. somehow gets decent grades as well. no close friends, but a lot of people who know him and want to get on his good side. kind of depressed, and his dad's currently in prison. he started playing the guitar as a way to show off and then genuinely started enjoying it

adaine > mo

she's a concert violist (playing the viola) always an accompaniment for her sister and is striking it out on her own for the first time. her family is very upset about this, and consistently puts her down so she'll go along with they want her to do. also she recently transitioned to going to public school for the first time, making her the new girl.

kristen > no equivalent

she's recently ex mormon, got out of her parents house (currently living in her car) and without all of her former friends stuck in a student president position that she got when she was still with the religion. questioning her sexuality after one too many encounters with the soccer team captain, tracker. used to be on the church choir, was a bit too enthusiastic about it.

gorgug > no equivalent (charlie vibes)

he's got like one or two kinda friends (mainly fig). extremely busy with his classes and with marching band and self isolating as a result. he's stressed out about living up to his parent's name (they run a very successful electric engineering company). signed up to work as a sound tech for the theatre department bc one of the female stage managers is very cute (zelda) and then discovered that he rlly like it.

riz > no equivalent

no friends! (other than maybe the AV club + penny) too used to burying himself in work at both his part time gig and with his insane amount of extracurriculars. started playing the piano bc he heard it helps with memory retention and overall cognitive ability.

fig > stella/wen

she's the cool loner skater kid who is the floater friend mostly? she's got a maybe relationship with ayda, who she loves to annoy at the school library. very interested in making her own music not very interested in school. freaking out over her parents getting remarried. her mom enrolled her in music lessons when she was younger, and it's one of the only things she can talk about with her mom these days.

[stacy-fakename]

I’m sorry, but my type-a ass cannot be against the Rat Grinders. They’re essentially the kids that couldn’t get the special treatment from teachers and get by on stumbling through tests and happening to get an A without studying. The Rat Grinders feel less like people who cheated the system, and more like the kids who aren’t naturally gifted or lucky, and have to spends hours on end studying, doing extra homework and extra credit, losing their social lives and free time to catch up with the kids who can just breeze through it. Fig never went to a single class or did any homework but gets away with it because the coach, lunch lad, and vice principal are her dads, Kristin and Riz did literally the worst thing their respective class can do, Gorgug actively works to avoid using the main feature of his class whenever possible, Adaine became the Oracle through seemingly happenstance, and Fabian’s rich family bought his way into the extra curricular he’s now the captain of, and all of them skipped half of freshman year! Obviously we, the audience, know that they worked their asses off to get through school each year and to get where the are today. We know they earned every little good thing they have! Fig has worked so hard to become the rockstar she is! Kristin literally brought back a god! Riz in a supergenius detective! Gorgug is an incredible barbarian and artificer! Adaine works so hard to help all of her friends survive a toxic system! Fabian slaved away to earn his achievements himself instead of letting his father’s legacy be his identity! But think of it from an outside perspective, without all the knowledge that only the audience has! These random kids stumbled into three adventures that let them skip grinding for XP, got to miss half a year with no consequence, get special privileges and quests because they are related to or friends with the faculty, never do their assignments or go to class, became popular because of their privileges, and now randomly start spouting micro aggressions towards halflings? If I was one of the Rat Grinders, I’d be pissed off too! I’ve been both the gifted kid, seemingly effortlessly breezing through classes and befriending the entire faculty while secretly going through terrible struggle and stress, and the kid desperately trying to game my way through a system built to harm me while being furious at those who seem to thrive in it, and I can’t help but feel empathy for both. I don’t think the Rat Grinders are evil, cheating monsters who plan to destroy the Bad Kids out of spite. I think they’re just kids in a harmful toxic school system that have a lot of righteous anger at their lot in life, that has sadly been misdirected. Idk if this ramble made sense, sorry for the wall of text!

Edit:Introducing Ivy Embra, the first Rat Grinder to actually be antagonistic to anyone in any way! Also introducing Oisin Hakivar, a super nice guy who’s willing to take advantage of his generational wealth in order to help a fellow student! So the first Rat Grinder to actively be nice to someone too! He likely did something with the ice mephits, but he still seemed genuinely sympathetic and helpful to Adaine!

[punchspeedchunk]

Got the Sketch pretty much done, no real BG because I got distracted drawing other shit once all the Gob Squad were in.

They are fighting a Category 2 Krasus here. Which is also a Lizrog. Because DnD re-uses art elements I guess. I took liberties on top of that also. Riz just ran clear across the arena to distract it by slashing it's belly with his sword so the others could ambush it. Shmim is leaning over to ask if he's good lol.

ANYWAY, specific context under cut because it's A LOT And if you need context for the context, you can find it all in THE BIG AU DOC

So, when Fabian’s and Riz’s kids are still young, someone brings up the fact that they’re all old enough to compete at the Adventuring Olympics if they want.

This is a thing that is held every 5 years in High Court, and you have to be both old enough (25 and older) and high enough level (16 or higher) to compete. Fig is the one to suggest it, since she realised the last time that there is an event that the Last Stand was based off, and they could absolutely kill it.

The Gob Squad hear about this and go ‘bet we could beat you lol’, and then Adaine points out this might be true, but Riz is in both their parties, and he would have to pick one to compete with, which wouldn’t be very fair.

Riz goes ‘why not both?’

There is a LOT of debate over this, until they check the rules and find out that while there’s nothing preventing him from signing up with two adventuring parties in that event, it’s not something anyone has ever done successfully - as in, anyone who’s done it has been unable to compete in their second match due to exhaustion/injuries acquired.

Riz goes ‘bet. I won’t even be using any of my Fae powers, im doing this pure rogue’

The Seven Maidens also get in on this because they think it’ll be fun and they will NOT be outdone by the Bad Kids and Gob Squad.

So the event is endurance based, with rounds of monsters that adventuring parties have to take on. They go into the arena with a limit on their weapons, items, steeds/vehicles, and rations. It’s both easier and harder than The Last Stand - they don’t have to answer questions or keep a proctor safe, but there is no limit to the rounds of monsters they can face. 

They just have to last as long as possible, and their round ends when no members of the party are able to fight any longer, or the nominated team captain calls that they’re done. The monsters they are facing are generally more dangerous than the ones they dealt with in the Last Stand as well.

The organisers, looking at Riz, then looking at his adventuring rap sheet, decide that the Gob Squad’s round will commence on the first of three days' competition, and the Bad Kids will go on the last day, so that there is as much time between his rounds as they can give him. They do not expect him to do any better than any other competitor that has attempted two rounds with different parties, but he has good stats, and he’s got a reputation they want to utilise if at all possible to get better engagement with the games (They are looking at suspending them indefinitely after this year due to a lack of engagement. Higher level adventuring teams had grown bored of the games, audiences were bored of watching the same parties compete, and fresh blood hadn’t decided to compete during years of turmoil with wars looming all over the place).

So, Gob squad come in with very little reputation ahead of them, everyone is expecting them to last maybe twenty minutes to a half hour, most teams do like an hour and a half roughly. There is some curiosity over the fact that they don’t seem to have much gear on any of them, except for the big guy sitting in what is essentially a mech-suit.

The mech suit is something Shmim developed over several years after that one concert where both Bad Kids and Gob Squad fought off the cultist invasion. He got the idea of having a mobile battle station that could concentrate his bardic magic when DJing so he could turn it into really hard hitting attacks (imagine, if you will, concentrated, amplified Dubstep attacks - Psyonic monsters get their eardrums and brains scrambled, they never stood a chance).

He burns one of his famous DJ identities and outs himself as the Artist known as Avalanche when he plays a full set for the entire duration of their fighting… which turns into HOURS. Not only is the Mech basically his Bardificer battle platform, it provides cover/shielding/pack support/a rest spot for the rest of the party as well.

The others are stashing their packs on this thing and grabbing items as they need them, leaving them free to run the field without dealing with their bags. There’s a little nest platform on the top back where they can sit and have a drink and a snack when tapping out, and while the mech is not fast, it is an absolute tank, so it takes hits pretty well, and even when it’s mobility is compromised, it’s an effective shield, and Shmim can still keep the tunes flowing and the bardics coming.

The other advantage to running a constant music set is that Shmim can use it for communicating strats and targets to the other Gob Squad members. Certain tunes will herald formations for different enemies, and sometimes just act as hype tracks for individuals (Every Gob Squad member gets a highlight when their song comes on and they get to wreck shop on their own).

Basically, everyone in the stands is losing their mind. Who the FUCK are these guys? They’re just a bunch of goblins, how are they wrecking so much shit? Why do they have a guy who can barely be seen unless he’s in a melee attack? How is that stoner guy doing so much damage with that longboard without breaking it? Did that one with the over-sized wizard hat just fucking re-animate the T-Rex they killed to fight for them? Is that safety goblin saying a prayer to a Dwarf God??? HOW has the tiny dance bard not been eaten by anything yet how is their Bard a famous DJ what the fuck is HAPPENING holy SHIT did the fucking business rogue just take out a Wyvern SOLO???? (Of course, any Goblins watching know who these guys are and expected no less. After the events of 'The Long Road Home', the Gob Squad are known as The Goblin King's High Guards, so OBVIOUSLY they're going to smash it).

It’s like, 4 hours and 45 minutes before they’re out of spells (They had been eating dragon livers to replenish spell slots, as well as just keeping their strength up. Who needs provisions when you can eat your enemies as you go?) and finally dropping from injuries and effects from enemy spells and stuff. Riz and Dex are the last ones on their feet, and they could keep holding stuff off until they fall completely (Shmim’s out for the count but has tunes still auto-playing from what’s left of the mech-deck), but they call it for the sake of having already smashed the Olympic record at the 3 and a half hour mark.

Needless to say, the Gob Squad become absolute fucking legends (outside of just Goblin culture that is). It’s a lot for the other competitors to live up to, and most don’t until the Seven Maidens take their turn right before the Bad Kids on the third day.

Riz rests the whole of the middle day in the Fae Wilds, not because he wants to use Fae magic to heal up and recuperate (He doesn’t, he thinks that’s cheating) but because he can use the time dilation of just being in the Fae Wilds to get extra rest.

So when Riz comes out on the field with the Bad Kids, he’s basically fine, only a single level of exhaustion to hobble him, and the Seven Maidens threw down the Gauntlet by beating the Gob Squad time by two whole minutes.

So obviously the Bad Kids have to beat that.

It takes Five hours and fifteen minutes before the Bad Kids call their match, and it’s only because they ran out of revivify materials and Kristen is at 1 hit point. None of them are actually down, they just have various status effects they can’t shed and figure they did good enough smashing the record to absolute pieces and making it hard for anyone else to match.

Plus Fabian and Riz want to go back to their babies, who were in the stands with Pok, Sklonda and Kari, getting more bored and squirmy the longer the match went on. 

The organisers are sweating bullets, they were pulling emergency monsters directly from other planes of existence just to keep this match going, they never anticipated something like this, if the Bad Kids hadn’t called it, they were looking at the prospect of just straight running out, and that would have been embarrassing as hell for the prestige of the Olympic Guild.

[thistlerock]

Fabian being the most popular kid in school and the captain of the bloodrush team (since freshman year?? I feel like we don't acknowledge enough that this is insane) and also a straight a student is already incredibly funny to me but the fact he personally killed toxic masculinity (in his opinion) and is, in my opinion, at least a little queer, makes it even better.

Like GOD he's so stereotypical teen movie big mouthed rich jock but he's also not that at ALL and he respects women and he loves his friends so much and he's genuinely such a sweet kid and I love him. I like to think there were guys (especially on the owlbears) who, for maybe a week, were like wow Fabian dances now that's gay (derogatory) (and for the record I know he was flamboyant before but BEFORE he was still trying to be a macho champion guy so it was different but now he's /just/ flamboyant) but Fabian exorcises the toxic masculinity and homophobia out of them. How does he do it? I don't know. It's magic. He's magic.

Im a qpr Fabriz + romantic Mazey/Fabian truther so its extra funny to me that Fabian is like this. Incredibly cool popular hot guy that everyone likes and probably a lot of people are attracted to that throws banger parties and his girlfriend pulls out twister at said parties and doesn't drink (good for her) and is apparently considered unattractive (i like to think this is a. Fantasy racism thing? The less human or elf like a race looks ((like orcs, or goblins, or, well, minotaurs)) the worse off they are) and he also has a fucking loser "boyfriend" (I think they'd prefer the word partner but why would other ppl know that) who YES has a glow up in junior year and is semi-popular but he's certainly not who you'd except Fabian Aramais Seacaster to kiss. Also I'm pretty sure Riz is mostly popular amongst people who are objectively bigger Highschool hierarchy losers than him on the basis of being younger and not being part of the most impressive adventuring party in school lmao.

Speaking of Fabian and Mazey she's taller than him thank you very much. Tall beautiful athletic girlfriend and scrawny short king partner Fabian is the happiest polyam bisexual in the world /j

[deconstructthesoup]

Okay, early (EARLY) predictions/guesses for the new PCs in Cloudward, Ho:

-Lou's is gonna have some of that "chaotic entitled" nature. He said that after playing Squak in ACOFAF, he's decided that all of the PCs he makes going forward will have that, which we definitely saw in Pinnochio and Deli---but the two seasons he's appeared in since have been returning PCs (though, let's be real, Fabian was the jumping off point for our slutty, alloaro author bird boy), so we may get to see more of that. That being said, I would also love to see Lou capture some of that good old Kingston Brown energy again, which we did see with Jammer in MisMag 2.

-Based on the "I think I gotta go on one last adventure" line in the trailer, I'm guessing that Siobhan's character is going to be older, kind of in the same vein as Iga Lisowski---someone who's been worn down over the years and has no interest in adventure, but gets swept up in it anyway due to Plot Reasons. If that's the case, I'm genuinely excited to see it, because most of Siobhan's PCs (outside of The Unsleeping City, of course) have either been teens or very naive to how the world works, and it'd be cool to see her play someone with a lot of street smarts and experience under their belt again. I miss Iga.

-Murph is absolutely going full nepo baby again, and it's gonna be a delight to witness. I want to see him be cocky, I want to see him be entitled, and I want to see him be as cringefail as his dice rolls allow.

-ALLY IS AN ARMORER ARTIFICER. Let me repeat---ALLY IS A GODDAMN ARMORER ARTIFICER! I know that there were NO class reveals, but you cannot tell me that "my grandmother gave me a giant mech suit" is anything other than concrete proof that Ally is gonna be playing an artificer, WHICH IS A REQUIREMENT IN A STEAMPUNK SETTING! I'm so fucking excited!

-Emily's gonna be a baddass merc, and she's gonna be hot. Nothing else I can say, hearing that accent in the trailer made my mind stop working.

-No idea who Zac is playing---maybe another ship captain, maybe some sort of scoundrel-type in the same vein as Pip, but we shall see.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price in a smoking jacket //

The Adventures of Captain Fabian (1951)

[wlwinry]

wait wait please tell me more about the thistlecaster tangled au

oh boy oh boy im about to explode. prepare for a deeply silly heartfelt au that hovers in the back of my mind so very often

gorgug is (approximately) flynn, fabian is (approximately) rapunzel

by this i mean that they fill those two roles not that the personalities perfectly align

but to backtrack a little to that age-old worldbuilding: fabian, youngest (adoptive, but who cares) son of cathilda the black falls grievously ill as an infant. devastated and desperate, cathilda and fabian's older siblings (princess maeve, prince kieran, and princess rory, though theyre not super relevant to the au i just care about them a lot) hunt for magical cures high and low and eventually find an ancient healing blossom blessed by Galicaea, goddess of the moon, and Cassandra, goddess of the night and of mystery. some say that the flower came from the tears Galicaea shed when her sister first died, but that's neither here nor there...

the royal guard sneaks and fights through the wards around the flower and brews it into a healing draught, one that restores the infant prince's strength--but as he heals and grows bit by bit, the royal family notices a shocking change. fabian's hair, previously a pale silver, has turned moon-white. writing it off as a simple change, the likes of which frequently occur with infants, queen cathilda announces that her baby is healed and the kingdom rejoices

except word reaches bill and hallariel seacaster, fabian's biological parents. you see, they didn't want to deal with a child on their adventures, so they dropped him off on the shores of their former friend's kingdom.

a magical child, however...that's not a burden. that's an opportunity.

hallariel tricks her way into her palace to try and siphon some of fabian's magic, but finds it tied to the boy's blood and hair. so, of course, she steals him back. don't worry, she left a note thanking cathilda for taking such good (temporary) care of him, but she and bill have quite the client list looking for the magical youth, healing, and immortality a child with the healing power of a god can bring

cathilda hunts them down to no avail. the hangman (the ship) stops sailing, hiding in a cove shrouded by the best wards money can buy. fabian grows up in a cabin of that ship, never stepping foot off of it and never seeing another person beyond the clients his doting (ha) mama and papa bring in

cue the lantern celebration, a last hope from the royal ceíli family that their last little one will find his way home

cut to nineteen years later. thief duo fig and gorgug need one last score to be able to leave the kingdom behind with more than enough money to pursue their dreams once they end up Anywhere But There. the score in question? the crown of the lost prince

things don't go to plan, though--they get caught on the way out of the vault and end up splitting up, unable to reach their meeting spot now that (junior) captain of the guard riz gukgak is on their tails. fig heads for the forest sans-crown, gorgug heads for the shore with the crown, and when he sees what looks like a shipwreck in the middle of a secluded cove he decides to trust his gut and sneak aboard.

the problem is, of course, that the second he's on board, the glamour fades and the ship is clearly whole and hale. not that he gets much of a chance to process this, though. he gets brained over the head by a large, heavy blunt object, shoved into a closet, and then is blackmailed by the most beautiful man he's ever seen with the longest hair in the goddamn world to take him to see the floating lights in return for the crown. always a man of honor, gorgug agrees, and the ethereally beautiful stranger introduces himself as fabian

and he is. shockingly easy to fall in love with. mesmerized by the outside world. determined to experience as much as he can in the short few days he has without clients. deeply melancholy. maybe a little too fearless

he shudders whenever gorgug holds his hand, like he's not used to the touch. to the comfort

gorgug thinks there isn't much he wouldn't give to see him happy, escape plan aside.

(cue the whole adventure. all of it. except fabian doesnt lose his magic like rapunzel does bc i always thought that was silly. he does THINK that that's where his power stems from, because that's what bill and hallariel always thought and told him)

(also, this is a fabian who wasn't trained, bc bill decided he made a better asset when he was unable to fight the people they sold his magic to. you know, if he ever decided to escape. a lot harder to do that when you can't fight back)

(this au was originally conceptualized with transfem!fabian but really it can be done either way)

(the scene where eugene is totally speechless when he first sees rapunzel? that, but thistlecaster)

(the hangman [dog] is pascal)

[thecoddaughter]

Rat Grinders Facts and the Implication of Those Facts:

They were the High Five Heroes. They have hated the Bad Kids since Freshman year. They had at some point rebranded (unsure if that was before or after Lucy died). They are not popular. They are boring power grinders.

Since Lucy died, they have: produced a rock star who fakes half his fame ("Sorry im getting mobbed for autographs"), a Sol televangelist's grandson, a great-great-great grandson of an ancient blue dragon, a secret bloodrush star, and the chick who found the rouge teacher/is running for president.

THEY ARE TRY HARDS. AND COPY CATS!

Before even junior year, The Bad Kids are stacked outside of just their adventuring feats...

Fig: the archdevil of rebellion, lead of Fig & the Cig Figs, daughter of the Blood Rush coach, daughter of the vice principal Fabian: captain of the blood rush team, son of infamous pirate Kristen: fallen chosen of Helio, lives with the school counselor, quirky Adiane: the elven oracle, adopted daughter of the school counselor, very well connected sister Gorgug: drummer of Fig & the Cig Figs, dated Zelda (one of the Seven), blood rush team Riz: that strangely connected kid, friend of the the Seven (through Penny), quirky

[figgypopidol]

The Bad Kids Alternate Universe:

Adaine Abernant daughter of the ambassador from Fallinel failed her Hudol entrance exam due to ... complications and enters Auegfort Adventuring Academy as an Inquisitive Rogue putting her talents of remaining unnoticed by her parents and sister to use.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster son of Captain Bill Seacaster enters Auegfort Adventure Academy a year late at 16 as an Oath to Glory Paladin determined to write his name on the face of the world through his great deeds.

Fig Faeth thought she was a wood elf but has found out she is actually a Tiefling and with her horns coming in quite nicely a rage has built up in her causing bouts of Wild Magic, as a Wild Magic Barbarian Fig is here to rage against the machine.

Gorgug Thistlespring is a half-orc raised by gnomes and has always been bigger than everyone and everything around him. As a Shepherd Druid Gorgug is determined to use his size and strength for good, protecting the innocent and small around him.

Kristen Applebees is the chosen of Helio and while the natural course would be to be one of Helio's many clerics Kristen has the gift of gab and chooses instead to enter Auegfort Adventuring Academy as a College of Eloquence Bard.

Riz Gukgak is a goblin who has always been smart, inquisitive, and too small but as a Battlesmith Artificer, there isn't anything Riz can't find a solution to.

[rellsingsovern]

all that glitters (is bronze)

Fabian came to school on the first day of junior year looking worse than he ever had, and Max is pretty sure that’s the exact moment the crush started.

-

A series of chapters from the POV of one Max Durden during his junior year at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, getting lit with his party, (accidentally) uncovering the fact that something is up between the barbarian and the sorcery teacher, and dealing with the fact that he’s got a massive crush on Fabian Aramais Seacaster, Maximum Legend and Captain of the Bloodrush team. (read on ao3 at rellsingsovern!)

Chapter One: September

Fabian came to school on the first day of junior year looking worse than he ever had, and Max is pretty sure that’s the exact moment the crush started.

Like, Fabian had been attractive forever. You’d have to be blind or maybe dead not to notice that. It was an indisputable fact, an inextricable law of the universe; magic takes spell slots, gravity pulls you to earth, Max was a drow, and Fabian Aramais Seacaster had always, always been stunningly good-looking. Simple and true as that. Max could acknowledge Fabian’s objective hotness even though he’d never really been into him like that.

It’s just that… he looked so different from the last time Max saw him, dragging Gorgug and Riz around his house party in the beginning of summer, before the endless night that had gone on until just two days ago, and it made Max’s heart flip around weirdly in his chest like it never had before when he looked at Fabian.

Max had only ever really spoken to Fabian after Fig and Gorgug had left for their tour in the spring of sophomore year. Like, he had seen him around in the halls throughout freshman year, enough that it was a shock when Fabian came back to school a week after prom with one missing eye, but neither he nor any of the Bad Kids were warlocks, so he had never shared a class with anyone except Kristin when the cleric, warlock, and paladin classes would have joint lectures. And even then half the time he would skip to smoke in the parking lot with Fig and Ficus.

Fabian turned up to smoke occasionally, loud and boisterous personality apparent in every step and every too-long drag he took from a cigarette, and he’d end up chatting to Max about unimportant shit without Fig there to direct his attention to. It wasn’t uncommon to see him at the local Thrallmart sometimes, a little less loud but just as boisterous, complaining about being dragged to the store by his party but laughing along with them as they went up and down the aisles together. They would always give Max and his party a wave when they crossed paths but Max was usually too busy shoplifting along with half of his own party while the other half scolded them. He had always extended informal invitations to the Bad Kids to come to his parties (they were some of the most infamous kids in school, after killing a dragon) but it wasn’t until earlier this summer that Fabian had taken him up on his offer.

It had been months since Max had seen Fabian at his party, and his silver hair was longer than Max’s was now, pulled up into a (cute) messy ponytail, and his clothing was distinctly less solesian and more elven than he used to dress. Max could count the amount of times he’d seen Fabian without his bloodrush letterman on one hand and most of them were after his adventuring party came back from saving the world from the Nightmare King, but he was wearing an obviously elven-made jacket around his waist, swirling patterns like ripples of water across the fabric. He had apparently traded the wide-bladed, curved, pirate-y weapon he used to carry for a sleek, straight sword that shimmered like a diamond in the newly returned sunlight.

Fabian carried himself differently too, more deliberate and graceful than last year, stepping lightly and quickly across the quad, and Max was almost too busy trying not to obviously stare at his sculpted arms to notice any other details. Almost.

There was a full fucking tire mark across Fabian’s face, going up across his cheek and down past his chest, disappearing under his tank top, various other marks and burns scattered across his face and shoulders. He looked like a sandstorm with a vendetta had grown legs and kicked the ever-loving shit out of him, red dust clinging to his dark skin and along his legs and torso, the muscles of which Max could see even under the fabric. Bandages were wrapped around his forearms and knuckles, the image of a classic fighter, and Max couldn’t tell if they were supposed to be red or if it was dried blood soaked into the fabric making it so. It’s probably blood, Max thought vaguely, too busy looking at the loose strand of silver hair falling in front of the swordfighter’s eyepatch, the edge of the scar visible even from this distance, his high cheekbones and slender yet powerful shoulders…

“-hearing me? Max!”

“Huh?”

His view of Fabian’s dust covered face lighting up as he saw something across the quad was abruptly blocked by a human hand waving in front of his face. “Have you even been listening to me? Gods above, it was hard enough to get you here on time, we cannot start this year with you missing the assembly again and not knowing anything that’s going on.”

“In my defense, I only missed last year’s because Arruzhir’s wild magic went off and teleported us half a mile into the Far Haven Woods.” Max responded, a little slower than he should have, attempting to shake the image of Fabian’s radiant smile, wider than he had ever seen, out of his head, as Topaz, the owner of the hand, stepped out in front of him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him.

His party cleric’s stormy gray eyes scrutinized Max, militaristic in the way that everything she did was, symbol of her tempest god stamped onto the hammer she carried. She twirled it idly in her hand, jaw set as she searched for something in his expression.

Over her shoulder, Fabian Aramais Seacaster threw his head back and laughed, sitting at a table with the rest of the Bad Kids (was that a trash bag he was holding?), and Max immediately felt his heart skip several beats and hoped his face didn’t flush maroon.

Gripping her hammer in her fingers, Topaz thankfully didn’t change the topic. “You know you could’ve stood to find your way back sooner.”

“Nah, we couldn’t’ve.”

“Singer is a druid.”

“And?” Max muttered, only half paying attention to the conversation at hand, eyes drawn like magnets to Fabian, who had started talking to Gorgug, gesturing to a jagged sculpture of metal in his arms.

“And? The fuck do you-”

He looks like shit, Max thought wildly. He looks like he got run over. There’s blood all over him. Are those acid burns or road rash?

“-and it was so embarrassing, being the only one in the party to even be there, and I know none of us are fucking A-team adventurer’s, but can we at least get through the first semester without skipping too many important school events?”

He wasn’t nearly this cute last year. What, he grew his hair out and lost the letterman and got run over and that’s what it takes? Why am I feeling like this?

I should go talk to him. Ask about the summer, ask what he’s doing later-

“Max! Valkur’s sake, what are you even looking at-“

“Wait, hold on-“ Max started, but it was too late. Topaz had turned around and followed his gaze right to the table of Bad Kids.

“… Are you serious? A Bad Kid?”

“Hah,” he breathed out, aiming for casually nonchalant and landing somewhere around extremely forced. “Wh- what do you even mean?”

“One of them’s obviously caught your attention.” She said, ignoring the way Max sputtered in protest. Grabbing his arm none too gently but looking at him a little softer, Topaz marched him towards the doors of the academy, which were just past the table. “C’mon, we’re meeting Rouge inside. She brought those dwarvish candies that you like. You can gossip about your crush with her.”

“I never said anything about a crush.” Max muttered, but allowed himself to be led across the grass and stone, heart speeding up with every step taken towards the table where Fabian sat.

“Arruzhir and Singer are asking what the plan is for tonight, can we go to yours after school? Or have you decided to try out for Thunderclash again this year after all?”

Max had played Thunderclash for the last two years at Aguefort, starting out with the desire to distance himself from his non-athletic mechanically inclined older brother, and had stuck with it just because he ended up being good at kicking a ball into a goal, not because of any particular interest besides. Over the dark summer he had toyed with the idea of trying it out again but found the idea of having more time to spend with his party much more enticing.

Topaz, his best friend, had encouraged him to at least find an extracurricular to replace it, but Max hadn’t landed on anything that drew his attention one way or another.

Fabian locked eyes with Max as he passed, giving a little wave and a grin. The tire mark looked even worse up close, the burns even harsher, the messy silver ponytail even cuter, the glinting gold of his eyepatch even more magnetizing.

Not gold, Max thought, stomach flip-flopping again. Bronze. It’s darker than gold, but not duller. Suits him better.

“Actually,” he said. “I think I might go for Bloodrush this year.”