#thats. genuinely fucked up im sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dsi-os · 4 months

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Do you have any proof of your living situation?

...I'M NOT SURE WHAT PROOF YOU'D WANT..??? like the post says, we've lost our house and we're currently living with our aunt?? me and my parents all together?? and we're working to get a new place??? my mom has a tough job, my dad does too, and i havent gotten the chance to get a job like theirs, so i've been doing commissions. all money has gone to food and supply as nothing in this house belongs to us, so we cant use it. im honestly not sure what proof youd want??? do you want to see a picture of us in a house that doesnt belong to us? do you want to see the house we lost?? you make no sense, person on the internet :( literally the only thing thats changed is that we were able to get a phone finally, and we found a house we might be able to buy, if not rent. we appreciate all donations and comms and have literally been living off of it. im not sure what you want.

#dsi talks #really...?#has the internet really.. gotten so bad that we need to question if people are homeless now..?#uh.. yeah. we legally have no place to live and are living in a house that doesnt belong to us in the slightest.#im genuinely so shocked that someone would honestly ask this.#people really... fake this shit????#you think im faking this?? dude???#thats. genuinely fucked up im sorry

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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siren

#bakuspecial #cw: nudity #cw: body horror #monster #siren! I think. they're bird to me #I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description #and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings #lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At #(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao)#but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman #but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry #I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human #even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm #...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin #and got startled #its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip #I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man #its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways #now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku #have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat

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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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it just struck me how my queerness is essentially just me going "hmmm... nah <3"

#gender? nah <3 #romantic orientation? nah <3 #sexuality? nah <3 #someone hands me a form that asks what i am and i just fill in 'n/a'#i simply couldnt be fucked! with literally any of it!#honestly the somewhat recent aroace realization has been So freeing #i didnt know how much stress the constant performance caused...#and also now that i KNOW it was a performance? oh boy looking back is so fucking funny #absolutely unprompted #damn sorry past me... they really didnt know...#they were out there trying so hard to conform lmfaoooo #pretending to pine while genuinely thinking they were pining....#trying to want a relationship while being So fucking stressed out and put off by the concept...#i may have been. somewhat of an idiot <3 #nah jk i wasnt! thats just how it is growing up in a romance oriented world #now all i have to worry about it making friends!!!#no more trying to flirt with cute cashiers! no more feeling Unnecessary Pressure!#im free....

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.

#bpd #like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular #and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache #my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T #but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person #or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me #like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down #and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and #saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that #or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment #like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel #but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no #what i *want*. bc what i desire is love #but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions #idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support #and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me #there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay #and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else #i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this #i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone #and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other

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eggbagelz · 10 months

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gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me