#its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[s0fter-sin]

i’d love to know how much of early day's spn subtext was deliberate or just a happy accident bc the subplot of 1x08 bugs is sam and dean butting heads about how they were raised and sam hating it while dean tells him he should accept it as they protect a family; predominantly a father and son

the father and son argue bc the son is different and not who the father wants him to be while the son feels ignored and shunned (aka sam). sam spends the episode empathising with him and telling him he can look forward to going to college to get away from him just like he did while dean cuts in to say he should stick with his family

the entire episode, dean defends john and the way he raised them ("maybe he needed to raise his voice but sometimes you were out of line"), it even starts with him and sam arguing over their illegal ways of making money and how they were brought up in the life; dean adapting to and enjoying it and sam wanting to be honest and straight

they talk about sam being sure john is and always has been disappointed in him just for dean to say john used to go to stanford whenever he could to check on him and something about his expression is so bitter; like he knows john would never express that care for him

but at the climax when they're trying to get matt to convince his dad to leave, sam is the one telling him to tell the truth and make his dad listen whereas dean tells him to lie; implying he wouldn't trust his son enough to believe him

he outright scoffs at sam and asks him what he was thinking for trying to get matt to tell the truth

the entire episode, dean is advocating for the kid to work it out (almost to just take it) and stay with his family but when push comes to shove, he tells him to lie

sam who spent years resenting john and his family for how they were raised, fell back on "making him listen"; echoing all the arguments he had with john, trying to force him to understand who he is while john's too blinded by vengeance to even begin to try. the same way sam refuses to see how they were raised and why they were raised that way from john’s point of view, hinting at how similar people they are (which still isn’t an excuse but also not the point rn)

dean winchester, the king of repression and masking (and fawning), dean who at this point is still staunchly defending john, tells a shunned kid with a harsh father to pretend in order for his father to care enough to listen to him and believe him

dean knows reasoning won't work bc he's watched it happen over and over again with sam and john

even the way matt tries to say, “but he’s my… (father)” feels like he’s coming over to dean’s point of view; that matt as a son respects his father to enough to tell the truth and no matter how much they’ve fought, that should trump everything. but dean still insists he lies. and matt tells the truth. and his father doesn’t listen

there's no way they intentionally made dean subconsciously know that a man raising his son in a mimicry of how john raised them wouldn't respect or trust his son enough to believe him about something potentially life threatening after half a season of john ignoring them about something potentially life threatening

right?

[sicksorrows]

my nanami hcs (nsfw & sfw)

idk if these are hcs or smth bc he'd look like he'd do most of these but anyway enjoy my rant on my man

sfw

he would allow you to do ANYTHING to him and I mean anything, or vice versa because he'd also do anything for you. if you ask him to do the laundry or dishes, he'd do it without asking any questions.

if you ask him for help on something he'd literally help you without making you feel dumb.

he would give you a good morning kiss every morning.

he would make breakfast for you every morning and if you didn't feel like eating it he'd persuade you anyway (I would still eat it even if I have the urge to throw up)

he would ask you to put his tie on for him before work, just so he could spend a little more time with you before he heads out--he would also give you a peck before leaving.

if he comes home from a mission and got severely injured he would run up to you right away to get his wounds treated.

he's a big spoon.

he is 100 precent devoted to you, he would remember every single thing about you, ranging from your birthday to your favourite food, to your siblings/parents name, anything.

if hes willing to do anything for you, then that means learning stuff you like just so he could connect with you better. for example you really love drawing, he would practice drawing everyday and show you it just to get the smallest reaction from you.

he is SO good at communication. say you both are having a heated argument, he would try to keep you, and himself calm, to help the situation better. and just basically be respectful throughout the way

he would never abuse you for his own entertainment, I just can't see him do that.

he gets jealous but doesn't show it, which leads me to that hes really good at hiding things or keeping things secret.

he is a soft spoken person.

brag about you to anyone he meets, or he would definitely bring you up in most conversations if it reminds him of you.

nsfw

he would so fuck you in his clothes, and it would always be the shirts because he loves the way you wear him.

he is such a switch.

he would enjoy pegging

he whines and begs, he is also a grunter.

praises you during and after sex, telling you how good you were and just basically makes you feel better about yourself.

he is slow and gentle but also pushes your limits the slightest, just to get a reaction out of you.

loves hand jobs ...

if you're sucking his dick he wouldn't make you take his full length unless you're ready for it.

oh my god he always asks for reassurance

angry sex..imagine him coming home angry from work or a mission and he just needs something to calm down, which is you. so he fucks you whilst still being angry, so you're basically his energy recharge

pulls your hair. especially during oral

into slight bdsm, (blindfolds, handcuffs ect.)

knows how to use his hands/fingers.

body worshipper.

teases or edges you.

if you're receiving backshots from him, he would be slow with you and hold onto you carefully.

if were talking about foreplay he is SLOW. he wants to savour his time with you and taste every part of you at his own pace, he isn't one to rush with it.

loves hearing you being loud, if you were quiet he'd force you to become loud somehow

he whimpers.

makes sex tapes on certain occasions..and jerks off to them later

if its a special occasion like your birthday, he would so give you birthday sex.

hes kind of the type to do semi public sex, for example; a changing room, the beach, movies, elevators

roleplays..

lastly, he is the aftercare king. after you guys are done whatever you were doing he would pamper you like a princess with seven servants. he would clean you up before himself, and make sure you feel satisfied when he finishes. when you both are clean he would cuddle you and stroke your hair as you fall asleep in his arms.

ughhh I love this man so much its actually making me go insane every single second of the day, my life is getting so fucked up because of this man. nanami is literally perfect in so many different ways, I literally have so much more scenarios or hcs for this man but I can't say it on here cuz I dont wanna get flamed...I need this man so badly I literally only told two of my friends about nanami because im worried my other friends would judge me for this. but either way i love him so so so so much oh my god the way I wish he was real, because id actually treat him like a king and not like some person who just wants him for sex...anyway...if he was real id actually give him the biggest hug ever and literally ask him out, I would not care if he rejected me, in fact id be happy that he even interacted with me because this man is so hot and beautiful and all of the above I know im out of his league, or not even his type. I need his dick inside me so badly and I know I say that a lot but genuinely I dont think his dick is enough for me, theres something about him that makes me want to have him by my side forever, I wish our souls combined and we are spiritually together. I wish that we could mold into each other and stay like that, forever. my love for this man can not compare to the love I have for anyone else. if I were to choose over nanami and my old hyper fixation from like 5 years ago, id choose nanami. and there may be some days where I just dont fuck with jjk but that may not change my love for him. I have never talked about a character this much esp it being an anime character but that doesn't stop me.

I want to give him the most malevolent, jaw dropping, hip thrusting best fucking head in the whole world. I dont care if it doesn't fit in my mouth id let my jaw lock if it had to be sucking him off. I wish jjk was an underground unknown show so I could just thirst over nanami so no one else could have him, but im glad it got popular because this is literally how I found my man. especially when I was a jjk hater and I never knew about him, but when I gave it a try im SO glad I did. im also SO grateful gege even made nanami a character, just a little ungrateful he killed him off but that okay! at least nanami existed through out two seasons. but if gege went with his other plan which was making nanami into a villain I would still hit cause oh my god the thought turns me on and im going insane about it. I literally wish I could write well, or draw well, so I could complete my desires which is drawing nanami in any way I could, or writing good scenarios with him but god gave me that ability to not draw (or write) because He knew id be unstoppable if I did, anyway, I need backshots from nanami until my voice practically runs out and the last words im left saying is: I love you, nanami.

[yandere-sins]

the whole feral scary naga thing is good👀 but do you know of a legend when a white snake was about to be killed but someone saved them, in return they became the snake’s bride? the delusional naga not only making things worst for the reader by forcing them to be their mate, but now the village has no choice but to sacrifice y/n if they dont want to starve to death (nagas in some cultures are higly respected and are important for livelihood and crops)

Oh my gosh... This is perfect... (I have heard of the legend but haven't researched it but even so it's perfect >:3)

You pet dogs and pspsps at cats when you see them, smile at the cows, and oink alongside pigs. All that and more, but you're not necessarily involved with animals as much as other people in your village. You like animals, and you tolerate them around you, but the thing that actually gets you excited is plants. No wonder you became the town's doctor as one of the few people who can differentiate between poisonous berries and digestible flowers. You are an integral part of the community. Nothing could threaten your position as a respected member and being needed by everyone.

Nothing but the damn naga you stumbled upon one day.

There were stories of these creatures, as with every belief, there are countless creatures to know of in your culture. You heard them, acknowledged them, but didn't actually believe in them. Most stories are scars for children anyway, and half-human, half-snake? Sounds impossible for you as a doctor.

For years you roamed the forests for plants for your medicine and studies. Years of never meeting anything scarier than a wild cat or a completely normal but still somewhat scary big snake. Years of walking in and out of the forest unscathed and unharmed. But you are immediately alerted when a human voice calls out to you from a pitfall. You don't recognize the voice from your village, but as a doctor, it's your duty to help.

You do everything you can, from telling them that you're there for them and will get them out of the trap and patch them up once they're out, to cutting vines to make a rope and throw it down into the dark. The possibilities of what could be down there don't unsettle you. All you see is your mission to help. When you tell them to try climbing your makeshift rope, you still expect a human to appear from the very deep, very large pitfall. Oh, how wrong you are.

Because while at first, you see the right things like hands, shoulders, a head, and hair, nothing from the waist down is normal about the suspected human clawing its way out of the trap. But it's too late now to cut the vines as its tail slowly drags itself out of the hole, the proportions becoming uncanny on a body much too big for a human and the tail much too white and standing out to be of a snake.

The real horror, though, is when you meet the creature's eyes, slits for pupils that fixate on you, dilating and narrowing as it musters its savior, its nose sniffing the air while you feel like you're going to throw up as you notice the claws, scales, fangs. The unnaturalness of this monster in front of you.

You made a mistake. A big one. The pitfall was not a dangerous creation for a human by a human. It was a last effort to save humans and keep a monster locked away in a prison it couldn't escape. You released it—enthusiastically even. The desperation you feel, knowing you might have doomed your village, is immeasurable. You can already hear their screams echoing in your ears as they are torn limb from limb by this monster, all while you'll probably die first, unable to help them as they call for you to heal them.

Both of you are staring at each other for what feels like a breathless eternity until the creature slithers—slithers!—towards you, its claws reaching out while you close your eyes, unable to watch it go for the kill. Its arms wrap around your body, and you gasp as it buries its face in the space between your neck and shoulder, your heartbeat racing as you listen to it sniff loudly, deeply inhaling and exhaling through its mouth. A mix of a purr and growl reaches your ears, vibrating in its chest and making you shiver in its grasp as the creature declares you as "Mate" before picking you up, feet dangling so far from the ground you might break a leg if you fall.

Luckily, that's not the creature's intention, and it seems delighted by you clawing at its shoulders, trying to hold on to it out of fear as it begins to carry you away. It's then that you realize that no way can you let it take you somewhere deeper into the forest. You are needed in your village! You are important! Too good to be eaten somewhere even your bones cannot be found anymore! It's a little scary, but as the creature has to lower itself to slip under tree branches and the like, you take the risk, kicking its stomach when it least expects it to create enough distance between arm and body to slip out.

You never ran as fast and breathless in your life as you did with the naga right behind you, crashing into tree trunks and hissing and growling, its claws always dangerously close to your body. You knew the forest well, but the only thing this monster seemed to care about was getting to you. It was foolish to lead it back to your village, but maybe... maybe! The warriors were skilled! The elders might know where to hit its weak spots! There was at least some hope that you could escape it!

The naga only caught up to you when you stumbled into the open clearing where your village was settled. Gasps and screams echoed around you while your face slammed into the ground involuntarily as you two collided, your body collapsing from the run. You heard the calls for the warriors, the terrified screams of the women and children, but all of a sudden, everything becomes very nauseatingly quiet.

Even with the hand of the naga pressing you down into the ground, keeping you from running from it anymore, you somehow manage to look up. What you see is almost more terrifying than all the possible scenarios you could have imagined. Everyone—the warriors, women, children, elders—knelt on the ground before you, bowing their heads, foreheads touching the dirty ground while you heard the unsettling sounds of the creature behind you, hissing and thumping its tail.

"My mate!" it declares loudly, possessively, and the people shudder in reverent fear. Finally, the oldest member of the tribe lifts their head, nodding before answering, "All yours. We will not interfere."

Their eyes fall on you, their lips silently mouthing, "I'm sorry."

You are once again picked up, settled tightly against the naga's chest, enveloped like an inconsolable child in its arms before it turns. You have to watch the villagers slowly rise to their feet as the creature spares their life with your sacrifice. The eldest shakes their head, turning to a warrior before asking how the naga could possibly escape. "I don't know," sighs the warrior. "But that's one more doctor lost to these creatures. And we tried so hard to keep this one."

"Better them than us," the eldest comforts him, patting the warrior's shoulder. "We knew the trap wouldn't be able to keep the naga from what they want forever."

Tears brimming your eyes, you meet the disappointed gazes of the village you thought you were so important to. People who gave you away in a heartbeat to appease some monster, and the bitterness overwhelms you as you realize they knew it was coming. Coming for you of all people, never telling you to leave the village and run for your life. Instead, they used you for as long as they could.

Until you rescued your own death sentence.

[featherandferns]

daylight - nine

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 9 of the daylight series | read part 8 here

content warnings: mentions of sex; mentions of alcohol

word count: 3.9k.

blurb: restless after the argument with JJ, you resort to looking through the journal you kept when you were dating Tyler. Maybe it's time to try and let the past go.

You can’t sleep.

Every time you close your eyes, you hear the argument between you and JJ echo in your mind. The horrible things you said to one another. The perfect avoidance of the truth, as if the two of you were reciting steps in a dance. The thought that everything between you might be ruined keeps you from finding rest.

Mimsy still hasn’t returned any of your calls. Never before have you felt the distance between the two of you to be so gaping. Vancouver feels like asylum that you can’t seek: it feels as unattainable as visiting heaven. You just want to be home, in your old bedroom, in your old bed, surrounded by your old friends. You want to go back to a time before JJ and before Kildare and, more importantly, before Tyler.

Tired of staring at the ceiling, you shove your sheets off and climb out of bed. Stretching, your eyes gravitate to your pin-board. JJ seems to shine brighter than everyone else, it's as if he's backlit. You're momentarily distracted by his radiant smile. By those eyes that could bring you to your knees; the very eyes that captured you before he’d even spoken a word your way. And now, when you see his face, all you can think of is that last conversation. You look away and, like a moth drawn to a flame, or a pirate guided by a siren’s call, your eyes latch on to the shoebox under your bed. 

Something inside of you has you sinking to your knees before it. You guide it out, holding the cardboard like it’s the fragile casing of a bomb. Sitting cross legged on your bedroom floor, you take the lid of the box and lift out the journal. A finger dusts over its worn cover and a solemn smile tries but fails to make its way onto your face. Your fingers crack the pages open. And then, you start to read. 

June 3

Me and Mimsy went to a kegger today. It was pretty boring and not many people were there. We mostly hung out with Kelly and Evan. I played some beer pong - I swear I’m getting better. I ended up talking to this guy called Tyler. He goes to the boys only school in the neighbourhood. He likes country music, which is icky as hell, and he’s a little lanky. I don’t think he likes me very much. We talked for a bit but he didn’t say much, and I felt like I was chewing his ear off, so I went back to Mimsy and decided to quit bothering him. He’s cute though, so it’s a shame. There’s this tenderness in his eyes. I don’t know, I guess I felt sorry when I looked in them. I feel like if he gets coaxed out and given the right space, he might be able to really open up. But if you don’t like someone, I guess you won’t jump at the chance, right? I probably won’t see him again anyway. We don’t really run in the same circles. 

June 17

Mimsy has the flu and I’m scared I’m going to catch it too. I have a photography gig in two days at the hockey club in town and I don’t want to miss it. I think it’ll be really good for the gram and maybe get me some more work opportunities. My post the other week got three thousand likes. How crazy is that? I think I need to get better at editing. That’s usually what sets people’s photography apart. 

June 19

So, the photography thing was today and it was a success! The team were really nice and the coach said he has this sister who’s throwing an anniversary get-together thing in a week or so. He asked if he could pass on my information. I finally feel like this might be something I can actually do, for money and for the long term. Mimsy’s feeling a bit better. I don’t think I’ve caught her bug so that’s a win. Tomorrow I’ll take her some soup and stuff. Oh! And that Tyler guy was at the hockey club too. Apparently he coaches the girls-only team. He was more chatty this time. The guys in the locker rooms had beers and they offered me one, so maybe he gets more talkative when he has a drink? Anyway, we talked for a while. He’s kind of dorky but it’s sweet. He’s a Marvel boy. How funny is that? I don’t think I’ve seen more than five Marvel films and this guy lives and breathes them. I ended up telling him how I thought he hated me when we first met and apparently he thought that I hated him! How funny is that!? He said he gets nervous talking to girls he likes, and when I walked away, he thought he’d messed up. It was really endearing. Long story short, I gave him my number. I think we’re going to hang out in a few days or something. 

June 26

Okay, don’t freak out but I think I’m actually really into Tyler? He’s really easy to talk to. I feel like I can say the most private stuff and he actually listens. We keep meeting up at Billy’s Bagels and talking for ages. He told me about this car crash he got into and I told him about the time me and Mimsy tried to go hitch-hiking and she was convinced we got in a serial killer’s car. He also leaves me these little notes on the receipts. Cute little things. But it’s so confusing, because he won’t make a move. Like, we’ll be sitting side by side and he won’t put a hand on my leg or pull me close. And he never tries to hold my hand. Hasn’t kissed me. Barely hugged me. It makes me wonder if I’m reading everything wrong. I’m just so tired of being the person who always makes the first move and I want him to just do something! I want to know if he feels the same way as me. 

June 28

I’m about to lose my fucking mind. I swear to God, I’m this close to being done with this whole thing. One minute, Tyler’s talking to me like crazy and making me laugh, and laughing at my jokes, and the next, he’s acting like he’s never seen me before in his life. I took Mimsy’s advice, the other night, and when we were walking back, I really dragged it out. And I stood there for ages, outside my house, waiting for him to make a move. We’d spent the whole day together. Got food, went surfing. Then he hugs me. He fucking hugs me. I was livid. I was absolutely furious. I just started walking to my house. And then, I have no idea why, I turned around and chased him down and grabbed him and kissed him. Okay, I basically ran away straight after, but I kissed him. So, great, right? Now we’re on the same page, surely? I mean, he kissed me back. Well, me and Mimsy go out the next day (now that she no longer feels like a corpse) and we walk past Tyler and his friend. I smile at him and wave and he walks straight past us. Mimsy - who said I was overthinking everything - was furious. I think she wanted to run across the road and rip his balls of his body in that moment, to be honest. All I could think about was how awful it felt. It was like last night never even happened. Did I assault him? I mean, did I read this whole thing wrong? He said he liked me, that’s why he was scared to talk to me, but then he fucking ignores me after I full-on kiss him!? I'm just so confused and losing my patience. I'm starting to wonder if it's worth all of this.

June 30

Mimsy tried to cheer me up by taking me to a kegger. Shock horror: Tyler was there. He came up to me about an hour in and asked if I wanted to go for a walk, so I said yes. We ended up at that lake near Molly’s house, and we were looking at the stars. I don’t really remember how or why we got there. Then, out of the blue, he apologised. I don’t think I’ve ever had a guy apologise to me before. He said he was an idiot for not kissing me the other day, and that he was just nervous and really wanted to. Then he kissed me, properly, and it was perfect. I’ve never felt that way before. I think he’s redeemed himself. I’m a little scared to tell Mimsy though…

July 19

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I got busy. I’ve been spending a lot of time with Tyler, honestly. We’ve been getting to know each other better. He introduced me to his friends and his mom, who apparently really liked me. I’ve been subjected to so much fucking country music. He doesn’t really compliment me though and it’s a little bit upsetting, I can't lie. I like hearing that kind of thing. Like we went for dinner the other night and I made a bit of an effort and he didn’t call me pretty once. Maybe I’m overthinking it. He’s more of a physical affection guy, to be honest. But still. It would be nice to hear it every now and then. He can handle his drink really well though. In fact, he drank Mimsy under the table the other day which was quite funny. He gets all touchy feely when he’s drunk, it’s so cute. He told me that he���s never opened up to someone like he has with me before. Told me things that he’s never told anyone else. He told me about his ex-girlfriend and how she was crazy. I feel so bad for him, that he was in that kind of situation. He laughs at all my stupid jokes. He even told me that nobody else has made him laugh so much before. I don’t know, I get all mushy when he says things like that. I feel like I’m bringing him out of his shell. He said his anxiety is a lot better since he met me, so I guess whatever I’m doing, it’s helping. 

July 24

I slept with Tyler hehe. It was so perfect. He was so caring and kept asking if I was okay and stuff, and I brought up the whole compliment thing and he apologised. He’s so good at taking accountability for when he’s done wrong - it’s so refreshing. He told me I have the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. I don’t know why that hit me so much. I just think you can tell so much about a person from their eyes. They never age. I'm scared a s fuck though because I really think I might be falling in love with him. Oh no.

August 8

I don’t really have tons to say. Mom and dad got in a big argument yesterday, so there’s that. Mimsy thinks they should just get divorced. It feels weird, thinking about your parents getting divorced. The whole two Christmases and two birthday thing. I don't know, maybe she’s right. They basically hate each other. Dad keeps bringing up North Carolina and how great everything is there. How his life was so much better. Charming, really, when I’ve spent my whole life in Vancouver with him. Really makes you feel special. Tyler’s been kind of busy lately. I keep wanting to go on dates but he just wants to stay in. He told me he doesn’t like PDA. It makes him feel weird. I want to hold his hand but I feel bad. I mean, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Besides, I get to touch him all I want when we’re at home together, so who really cares? 

October 14

Tyler hasn’t called me pretty in over a month. I told him and he apologised. He still hasn’t called me pretty. I miss how it was in the summer. It feels like he’s retreating into himself. I don’t know what’s happening. Why everything is changing? What did I do wrong? I didn't change, did I? 

November 19

I think I was overthinking it all lately. Tyler just invited me to join him and his family at Christmas on Victoria Island. He left me a little note, too, after he stayed at my house. It was really cute. It said, ‘I miss stargazing with you in the summer’. Mimsy says that maybe I need to clarify a few things with him. Set some more boundaries. He always talks about those girls on the hockey team he coaches, and whenever girls come up to him when he’s out with his friends. I like that he trusts me and wants to tell me these things, but also, if I trust him, why does he feel the need to tell me? It feels like he’s dangling it in my face almost. I don’t know, I’m probably thinking about it all wrong. I don’t know if I’ve got a stomach bug. My IBS has been crazy bad lately. It’s so annoying. 

December 6

I don’t think I’m happy with Tyler anymore. It’s like he’s a completely different person. I hardly even recognise him. We don’t really talk anymore like we used to. He says he’s really busy with school and coaching. I'm throwing myself into photography jobs to try and keep myself busy or else I just spiral. I don't want to tell Mimsy because I know what her advice will be. And I'm just not ready to face that yet.  

December 26

I leave for Victoria Island today. I’m meeting Tyler at the ferry station. He asked where I wanted to meet and I left it up to him at first. I mean, the obvious answer is the ferry station. That’s romantic. He can come pick me up. But he said, ‘whatever you prefer’ so I felt like I was putting him out by asking him to meet me at the ferry station. I don’t know. I just don’t even know if he wants me to go anymore. He hasn’t said. He hasn’t even said if he’s excited to see me. It’s an awful feeling, when you feel like someone doesn’t care if you’re there or not. Maybe it’ll be different when I see him in person. It’s been over a week since I last saw him and we haven’t been able to talk on the phone. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. I just think if I’m painfully honest with myself, I don’t want to go to Victoria anymore. 

December 27

I think it's over. 

December 29

I don’t even know what happened. I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I need to get it all out on paper and just walk away from it forever. I think that’s the only way I can even start to make sense of the last six months. It was awful. I fucking hate him and I’m so fucking confused. Jesus, I have been for the past four months. 

Tyler didn’t hug me or kiss me when I got off the ferry, but I guess because he doesn’t like PDA that’s a given. He didn’t introduce me to any of his extended family and left me to fend for myself in conversations. When we first got to the cabin, he sat on the bed and scrolled on his phone with his back facing me for an hour. A fucking hour. Then he went on Duolingo and checked the fucking hockey scores. And I just sat there for an hour after paying for a ferry ticket. Oh, yeah, cause he didn’t pay for any of my travel. When I said I was hungry and was going to get food, he came with me and got himself something. Again, didn’t pay for me. We got his favourite take out. It’s always things he wants to do. I told him I needed a nap and went to my room, and I called Mimsy who was equally as angry. I mean, why the fuck did he call me out there? I’ve never felt so disrespected, so unwanted, in my life. It’s fucking awful. Tyler texted me to meet him and I told him I wanted to stay in. He asked if I was okay and I told him I was angry, and he came to my room. And he was so fucking calm and collected it made me feel like I was overthinking it. Like I was the one blowing everything out of proportion. I told him about how I felt like I wasn’t wanted and he told me that I was. He just said it was weird seeing me in person again. It had been a fucking week. We went out with his family and I put on a brave face, and the whole time he barely spoke to me. Didn’t look at me, didn’t hold my hand, didn’t take a picture of me or of us. I hated it. When I got back to my room, he came over and laid down on the bed. And I told him I was so confused. He just nodded. And he was back to old Tyler. Chatty, familiar Tyler who makes jokes with me and compliments me. He told me how beautiful I was and how pretty my eyes are and all I could think was how he hadn’t said any of that for two whole months. How for two months I felt like I had no idea what was happening. And it made me weak. I hate myself for it but I let him kiss me. We made out and cuddled and it felt like old times, and I finally felt normal again. And then we fell asleep, woke up, and he was back to how he was the day before. Distant and cold and confusing. I think that was when I decided that maybe it was time to leave. 

When we slept together that night, it felt like he almost knew what was going to happen. All of it felt like a goodbye. I tried to enjoy it and feel close to him but I just felt so far away. Afterwards, he didn’t hold me. He didn’t cuddle me when we slept and the next morning, he barely looked at me. He just went on his phone when all I wanted was to be held. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from him, to feel held by him, and he’s never made me feel like I was. I mean, I feel more love from Mimsy than him. How fucked is that.

He walked me to the ferry station and I was wondering what to do. What to say. Whether to confront him and see if I could start a fight. Jesus, anything would do. And for whatever fucking reason, I went for the hail Mary, I guess you could say. I stood there, like the fucking idiot I am, and I told him I loved him. And you know what he said? Nothing.

He said absolutely nothing. 

Then he just nodded - like the useless asshole he is - and told me, get ready for this one, that his ‘family thought I was really nice’. 

I don’t even remember what I did then. All I can remember is sitting on the ferry and texting Mimsy, asking her to pick me up from the ferry station. 

I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why this happened, or how, or who he was. He apologised the next day. What for, I don’t even know anymore. Maybe all of it? But all I can remember thinking, when I read that text, was how I just knew he didn’t mean it. It was fucking Pavlovian by that point: he would know I was upset and apologise, and I’d forgive him and believe that he might change, and we’d carry on. What's the Taylor Swift lyric? You're an expert at sorry? That's him in a nutshell.

You want to know the real kicker? When I told him that I wanted to break up, he told me he didn’t know we were even together like that. So, I ask you again: who the fuck was he? I don’t think I’m ever gonna know. 

January 1

Happy new year. I think Tyler’s blocked me. 

February 9

Mimsy just heard from Darren P that Tyler has a new girlfriend. I think I’m going to throw up. I can’t do this anymore. I just want to forget about all of it but I keep thinking of all the little things that I ignored. All the signs from the start. How it took him to be drunk to even acknowledge that I existed. How it was always on his terms. What he wanted to do. What he needed from me. I wish I never slept with him. I wish he never touched my body. It makes me feel sick that I let him sleep with me that last night. I just feel so fucking used and dirty. Mimsy says it wasn’t my fault but I can’t shake this guilt for not leaving sooner, because the signs were always there. I mean, I thought he hated me. Why the fuck didn’t I walk away sooner?

I thought he hated me. 

That’s the final entry. 

You sit and stare at the barely filled page and then snap the book closed as if you just read how the world is going to end.

The condensing of the turbulent six months you spent with Tyler in a handful of diary entries fails to capture the mass of anxiety, paranoia and pain. The restless nights that you remedied by sprinting at the gym. The meals you skipped because you felt sick to your stomach. The parties ruined when you ended them in alcohol-provoked tears, sobbing to Mimsy about how things felt ‘off’ with you and Tyler. The humiliation you felt throughout the holidays and the disgust that lingered after your final night together. The shame that haunted you for letting yourself do all of that, feel all of that, lose all of that, to some fucking deadbeat guy. 

Because that was what it all came down to. It came down to the fact that you let yourself sit there and take it. That because you felt pity for him, and saw potential, you stayed and fought and tried. God, you tried so hard to mould him into the man you thought he could be without looking at his credentials. And now, on the other side of the continent, several months past the whole affair, you finally realise what it was. 

You fell in love with the idea of Tyler, not Tyler himself. 

It's like the revelation hits you in the head like a hammer. Resets your thoughts. Grabbing the box of things, you head down the stairs. It feels as though you’re not in control of your body. Unlocking the back door, you head into the yard. Ditch the box so you can set up the bonfire, igniting it with the lighter JJ gave you. 

You’re breathing heavily as you stare at the flames. It’s like you’ve been boxing in a ring. You guess, in a way, you have. But you’re tired of battling with the past. Fighting against the memories only to get knocked down, again and again. Wounding you so badly that you can’t face the fact that maybe someone might actually care about you, just as much as you care about them. That maybe you can trust someone. 

When you burn the first photo, you feel a little insane. You never much believed in any of the mindfulness crap Instagram wellness influencers preached. The writing-regrets-on-a-plate-and-smashing-it-up type things. But as you stand, burning the memories of Tyler - anything that reminds you of him, anything that he gave you, anything that he took - you feel like you’re coming back to yourself, piece by piece. Watching the embers lick up his face, crackling until its nothing but ashes and indistinguishable remnants feels like healing, plain and simple.  

The only thing that’s left now is the diary. You hold it in your hands like it’s a first-edition copy of the first book ever written. It feels like the manuscript, encapsulating the entire torrid affair of you and Tyler. The final artefact of your silently toxic relationship, keeping you tethered to your past trauma. Swallowing, you toss it into the metal canister. When you open them again, you see the flames already laying claim to the pages. 

And finally, for the first time, the story feels as though it isn’t yours anymore.

For the first time in months, you feel free.

read part ten here!

taglist:

@princessuki21 | @psyches-reid | @heybank | @avengersgirllorianna | @rrosiitas | @yourmumstoy | @jjsfavgirl | @void21 | @fictionalcomforts | @gsp420 | @redhead1180 | @wearemadeofstardust0 | @mrs-jjmaybank | @ifilwtmfc | @heybank | @lilyw1235 | @belle101200 | @maybankskiss | @lillell467 | please tell me if any tags aren't working - I've never done taglists before!

[olderthannetfic]

Yeah, no, this recurring "if you posted it to the archive you OWE ITS PRESENCE TO US FOREVER" take people keep regurgitating is some absolutely entitled bullshit no matter how you dress it up as ~*respect for art and the artist.*~

Ok, I never wanted to wade into this never ending wank about deleting fics because I didn’t think I had anything to add, but this comment in the comment section of one of the most recent asks on this topic sparked something for me. Probably it’s not even an original thought, but here I go.

Is it ok if an author doesn’t like their book any more, so they just start going into libraries and destroying copies of it?

That’s a bad analogy because the library paid for those copies and the author was presumably paid for their work? And also it wouldn’t even be legal for the author to do that? I hear you. I still think it holds some merit in terms of helping us think about this in terms of libraries being a place of preservation for the community, which is how people who are complaining about fics disappearing view fic archives (thus, “archive”), but I do see the flaws in the analogy.

What if a friend crafted you something as a gift, and you absolutely love it and treasure it, and you tell them so at every opportunity. Is it cool for them to take it back and throw it away because they don’t like it any more?

That analogy makes it too personal and doesn’t really work because “people should just download copies of every fic in anticipation that the author might delete it, and authors aren’t breaking into people’s houses to steal back copies of fics they have saved”? Ok. That’s fair. But I think that analogy at least conveys how personal the disappointment of a fic disappearing feels for many fans. Especially if they voiced their support to the author, it’s a big bummer when the author receives that support and then turns around and says “well I don’t think it’s good enough any more, and I’m taking it down so no one can enjoy it.” But I agree, that’s not a perfect analogy either.

How about an analogy I think I have heard before, one in which an artist created a piece of art and donated it to be displayed in a public space for the community to enjoy, then subsequently decided they wanted to remove it from view and destroy it. I think even if they were legally within their rights to do it, most people would still look at it as a pretty lame thing to do. This analogy doesn’t fully satisfy me, because public art on display doesn’t feel fully analogous to fic in an archive for me, and depending on the piece and the setting there may not be the same expectation that it’s going to be preserved there.

I think all of these analogies taken in combination kind of start to convey why this is a big deal to people. And as many have said, it’s not that we don’t acknowledge it’s the fic writer’s prerogative to delete, or that we feel entitled to the work, or that we don’t realise we can and probably should download our most favourite fics. None of that changes the fact that to take down a fic is taking back a gift and removing something from a community archive dedicated to preserving that media. Anyway. This is my beer-fuelled rant complete with three separate analogies that really contribute nothing to this very done-to-death discussion. I’ll go be quiet now.

--

Eh. I don't think people are confused in quite this way.

Some of them are upset because a few "Never delete!" people actually say aggressive or aggressively stupid things.

A lot of them want to never feel judged, and that includes by hearing that other people are upset.

But a poisonous and idiotic breed of them don't value fic and are mightily offended that other people do.

I get these clowns on here all the time. I haven't blocked all of them, but they're all dumbasses and they all sound the same. "Ooh, it's just casual!" "Ooh, I'm so mature for not having feelings and it totally isn't a mental illness symptom, how dare you?!"

Listen, dudes, wanting to destroy your hobby stuff is not a moral failing. But treating your hobby as "just a hobby" and "It doesn't matter" means you're a boring person. Come cry in the notes, but it won't be any less true.

Art is something to be passionate about. Preservation is something to be passionate about. Life in general is something to be passionate about.

Destroying art is sometimes part of art. Thinking it's pretentious to care deeply, however, makes you a loser.

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

I Still Love You.

Okay, hi, yes, I am real, I do exist haha, anyway, I'm suffering in college but I miss writing for my cowboy so I'm gonna try to do some magic with this prompt from the lovely @photo1030 about our cowboy and us getting into a fight, the first fight, after they start dating.

SO

Let us start!

Warnings: Arguing obviously, swearing, Arthur feeling bad, you feeling bad, female reader, possibly 18+ themes. Modern Arthur AU

Definitely maybe projecting a little bit of myself into Y/N here but we aren't gonna mention that.

Also don't you dare make fun of me I haven't wrote much recently so my noggin doesn't work, all I know is homework

You scoffed, continuing to wash the dishes in your sink as you listen to Arthur rambling on, trying to make you 'see reason' as he put it.

Usually you couldn't find a single thing wrong with Arthur. For the most part he was the perfect man. Of course, he had his flaws, as all humans do, but you guys had NEVER had a fight before, but lately...you couldn't help but fume at him.

He was just....You loved him, and you loved being around him and typically nothing about him bothered you but....

You couldn't help it.

He was just so damn...Stubborn! All the time!

No matter what, he always had to be right. Doesn't matter exactly what it's about, but he has to be right, even if it's something that YOU know more about.

"Jus' listen to me Darlin', it'll be so much easier for us to do this if we jus'-"

"I told you Arthur, that's not it, that's not gonna work!"

You sigh and turn around, leaning on the lip of the sink, your arms crossed as you look at him.

"You know, JUST as much as I do, that if we want to move in together at some point that we should invest in a place for BOTH of us, not just me moving in with you or you moving in with me."

"It'll save us money if you jus' move in with me-"

"And it'll save our relationship if I don't feel like I'm a visitor in a place that I didn't purchase. That's YOUR apartment, with YOUR decorations, YOUR pots and pans, YOUR shower curtains, EVERYTHING is yours, and even if I brought some of my stuff in, it's not MY place or OUR place-"

"So now our relationship needs savin'?"

He snorts and copies your body language, crossing his own arms as he stares down at you.

"You livin' with me, regardless as to if it's at your house or my apartment is the same as us buyin' a place together, and our relationship is just fine, it don't NEED savin'. At least I didn't think it did until ya said that."

"Oh my god, you are such a stubborn jackass."

You grind your teeth, standing up straight.

"It doesn't need saving, not YET. Arthur, a place of our own, together, would be better for the both of us, and you KNOW that."

"We would save much more money if we just moved in to one of the places we ALREADY own-"

"That wouldn't be OURS-"

"We would MAKE it OURS darlin'-"

"Arthur, why can't you understand-"

"Why can't YOU understand, I'm tryin' to save us money in the long run, money we can use to save up and buy a house later down the line, when we need one."

"Jesus, Arthur! How am I supposed to even move in with you in the first place when all you can do is try to prove you're right about everything all the damn time!"

You throw your hands up in defeat.

"You just have to always, always, always be right, don't you? You can't just understand or accept that someone else MIGHT be right!"

"You know damn well that ain't true!"

Arthur stands straight himself, putting his hands on his hips.

"I ain't tryin' to prove shit!,"

He pokes you in the chest, right under your collarbone

"I'm TRYIN' to make things easier on us! I'm tryin' to do somethin' good for the woman I love, but clearly you ain't very appreciative about it!"

"I would be, if you didn't always have to be so damn pushy, always 'oh well actually we should do this its smarter' shut UP Arthur, shut UP. It's not always your way or the highway!"

You smack his hand away, scowling at him as he shakes his hand and puts it back on his hip.

"You know how awful, how fucking stupid you make me feel, all the time!? Even when I'm RIGHT, you make me feel stupid because there's always some other way that we can do things that you always deem 'better'. What is it? You just don't like the fact that I can do things? That SOMETIMES, I have good ideas?"

"What? What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You know what I'm talking about-"

"I don't!"

He groans in frustration and moves to your fridge, opening it to get a beer out.

"Oh, and you're gonna help yourself to my drinks too, right? That I paid for?"

"This ain't even yours! I bought these, I brought 'em over for me when I visit! You don't even like this brand, hell you drink them fuckin' fruity drinks, the what....the Smirnoff or whatever the fuck it is."

He pops the bottle cap off.

"'Sides, what's the matter? You ain't never been upset about sharin' with me before."

"It's not the point!"

You groan and move past him into the living room.

"The point is Arthur, you always have to be right. Always. You make me feel like an idiot. Even if I know something more than you. Hell you'd tell me I was wrong if I was talking about what I majored in, in college."

"Oh I would not-"

He states, following you into the living room.

"You just did it again! Just there!"

"I ain't doin' shit!"

"AND AGAIN!"

Arthur gives a huff and puts his drink down on the coffee table, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand.

"Look, Darlin', all I'm sayin' is, if we make a budget and live together at my place, or at yours, we can save up money, and EVENTUALLY get a place together. a NICE place. A GOOD place, that's big enough for us, and what I HOPE is eventually our family."

"Why can't we buy a place that's already a good place?"

"You have to have MONEY Y/N!"

Arthur closes his eyes briefly, and crosses his arms again.

"Christ, Y/N do you ever fucking listen?"

"Oh like you're any better-"

"I am!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you!"

The two of you stare at one another, fuming, both of you clenching your jaws.

"Get out."

You murmur softly.

"Get out and go home."

"Really? You're gonna kick me out?"

"Yes, go!"

Arthur stares at you for a moment, and then moves around the couch and takes a seat, kicking his feet up on the coffee table after grabbing his beer.

"No. Not until we talk this through. I ain't lettin' either one of us walk away angry."

You angrily groan and turn away from him, going to your bedroom. You slam the door shut behind you and lock it.

You take the time to breathe, putting your hands through your hair, trying to keep yourself from being too angry.

You move to your bed and take a seat, letting yourself think.

Granted, yes, neither of you had been extremely awful to one another, but you had said some pretty mean things, and after sitting there for about twenty minutes you started to spiral.

That was a dick move of you. A dick move of him too but...what if....

You shouldn't have said anything like that to him, calling him a stubborn jackass, telling him to fuck off, you shouldn't have said those things.

You think it over more and more, and the longer you think about it, the guiltier you feel.

Accusing him of taking your food, when you always share your stuff with him anyway, intentionally starting a fight basically.

Its another ten minutes of thinking about how you'd yelled at him, and then you can't take it.

You unlock your door and come out to find Arthur still on the couch, his arms crossed as he looks up at you.

"You done throwin' a temper tantrum, Y/N?"

You go to speak and surprisingly you find yourself choked up.

"I'm...I...I'm sorry, Arthur I..."

You can feel yourself beginning to tear up and you try to wipe your eyes without it being too obvious, but Arthur was able to see it clearly.

"Woah, hey-"

He's quick to get up and move to you, taking your face in his hands.

"Whatchu cryin' for Darlin'? It ain't that big a deal, it's jus' a spat, that's all..."

He keeps his voice hushed, doing his best to try and soothe you.

You just can't help but feel...absurdly guilty, and all the sudden, worried.

"You aren't gonna run away from me, are you?"

You question, looking up at him.

"You aren't gonna leave me?"

"What? What on earth, no!"

He pulls you closer, bringing your head to his chest, wrapping an arm around your head.

"Jesus, Sweetheart no, I'm not leavin' you, it ain't that big a deal, it ain't that bad...it was just a little spat, an argument, couples have 'em all the time...."

He murmurs, and quietly kisses the top of your head.

"I shouldn't have called you a jackass, and I shouldn't have told you to fuck off, and I'm sorry-"

You ramble on, hugging yourself tightly to him.

"I'm really happy you want me to move in with you, I want to move in with you, I love you, I don't mean anything, I don't want you to back out of it, I don't wanna push you away-"

"Darlin', Y/N, please, calm down, okay, sit with me."

He gently guides you to the couch and sits with you, still holding you close to him.

"Sweetheart, I'm not breaking up with you, you haven't pushed me away, and you certainly aren't gonna cause me to back out."

He chuckles quietly and kisses your head again.

"It's just a little argument. That's all it is, that's it. It's nothin' to break us up over. Couples have fights all the time, it's alright."

"I know..."

You breathe out quietly, his voice was certainly soothing you.

Pulling away from him, you look up at him.

"I am sorry though, I am. I shouldn't have said those things....We should talk, seriously talk, take a minute, and CALMLY talk about the whole housing thing we want to do, I don't wanna argue about it anymore..."

"Sweetheart, it's okay, really it is."

He smiles and takes your hand.

"We can sit and talk, that's okay, but you don't have to apologize, I do. Alright? You're right, I tend to try and prove I'm right, and that ain't fair....So we'll talk, okay?"

He smiles at you, and he brushes some of your hair away from your face, looking you in the eyes as he does. That little smile of his is always enough to make your heart melt, and in this case it does plenty to soothe those worries that had so easily snuck up on you.

"Honey, it's alright...really, I mean that."

You nod and breathe quietly.

"I am still sorry Arthur."

"So am I, but I promise...nothing bad is gonna happen between us, okay, nothing."

He smiles.

"Well, good things will." He adds, and chuckles quietly. "We'll sit down and talk, and for tonight-"

He moves, and puts his finger under your chin, making you look up at him.

"I'm gonna take care of you, alright? I'm gonna make sure, you have a good time tonight, we'll have a movie night, and I will make dinner, you're favorite even."

You can't help but chuckle and lean in, kissing him softly.

"Thank you, thank you Arthur, I love you so much and I'm so...so sorry again."

"Stop sayin' sorry, okay? We're both idiots."

That makes you chuckle, and you lean your head against his shoulder, scooting closer.

It was a good feeling, knowing that if you had further arguments, which, you would, as couples do, you could work things out....that he wasn't going to abandon you.

He's a good man, and you...are good too.

[everestica]

How some of my favorite characters celebrate your birthday in honor of my birthday today! 

 

Furina

So Excited, she loves decorating for it and trying to find a really good gift for you. Luckily for her being the past Archon has its perks and she can basically go anywhere and get anything, though it might be hard avoiding you the whole day so she will say she's sick and then throw a huge party for you and by huge I mean just the two of you! Even so she always somehow knows what you like and what one of the best gifts to get you is.

Dazai Osamu

 Loves when it’s your birthday, and loves the birthday pranks he can pull at you when you're at the agency. But no worries he will always have a surprise towards the end of the day, you always end up having 2 kinda parties, one at the agency, and one when you get home with Dazai. He’s a smart man and he can basically read your mind sometimes and always knows the perfect gift to get you, even if you never mention it to him. 

Tachihara Michizou

He’s normally pretty busy on your birthday but as soon as he gets home he would love to just have some one on one time so that he can really celebrate you, probably has things that he got for you over the year tucked away in his closet, and always ends up having a bunch of stuff that he thinks you’ll like! At least tries to remember what you like to do/what you like to eat for desserts and stuff on your birthday so it will be more of a surprise for you when you see it sitting on the table.

Blade 

Says he hates birthdays and any sort of celebration when it comes to anybody else but will celebrate it behind closed doors. All those times that Kafka and Silverwolf go shopping in different places, he is too, but he’s just getting small things that will end up being for some sort of holiday, but by the time it is christmas or your birthday he always has quite a few little things so he tries to separate them evenly between the holidays, especially if your birthday is close to the holidays! If Kafka and Silverwolf ever find out he’ll never hear the end of it. (And he always says he never has a favorite, we all know that’s a lie) 

Firefly (Penacony Spoilers!!) 

THIS GIRL!<33333 I love her so much if you can’t tell. Anyway, She doesn't come from a lot and doesn’t have a lot, so instead she celebrates your birthday by taking you around Penacony and taking you to her special spot where you guys just talk for hours. She prefers more quality time when it comes to showing her love anyway, so it’s a win win. Though she will have a small dessert and some small gifts for your birthday, She gets things that mean a lot to you or you have mentioned, though most of your gifts are also symbols of dates, or when you met. 

Lilia (In honor of him saying happy birthday to me this year) 

Lilia has celebrated a lot of birthdays in his life, but yours is always a little different. Of course he has to start the day by scaring you in some way, he wouldn’t be Lilia if he didn’t! Diasomnia by this point has already all said Happy Birthday by this point. Another person who has collected things throughout the year and likes to give them to you, some you might not know what they are and when you do figure it out it may or may not be like 200 years older than you, it is fun to see what you end up getting for your birthday though! 

Ruggie 

It’s more or less really just a gift from Leona with him, but this is also the only time he will share his food with you! He also has experience in the kitchen so he is able to basically make anything that you would want to eat for your birthday, so don’t be surprised if when you get back to your dorm there's a little cake or something sitting on your table and him sitting next to it, covered in flour. His gifts though, again will be smaller things that he probably collected, only a couple things will actually be money bought and it’s leona’s money, but it’s the thought that counts with him.

Luke Pearce 

Another one who loves your birthday, and also, Like Firefly, likes more quality time when celebrating. So instead, he loves traveling and will let you pick the place you go and you’ll have a whole trip planned for your birthday or a couple days later! When it comes to actual gifts he will find things on the trip that he thinks that you’ll really like from past conversations. You once mentioned that you liked snowglobes like 7 months ago? Somehow he remembers that and now you have a cute little snowglobe from wherever you traveled too! 

♫ - Please if you are going to repost any of my works anywhere else, ask permission first! There will be almost a 100% chance that I will say yes as long as you just ask and give credit! Thank you for your understanding!

[thefreakandthehair]

happy (belated, sorry!) birthday to @henderdads!! this was supposed to be just fluffy but y'know. the hurt/comfort monster got me. I hope you had a perfect day! <333

can also be found here on AO3!

stars and satellites (will always bring me home)

---

Eddie tries not to think about his birthday. 

He and Wayne have an agreement to let it pass with little to no mention, save for his 16th birthday when he’s able to start driving and his 18th birthday when he hands Eddie a few singles and tells him to go grab himself his first legal pack of cigarettes— and to get one for him, too, since he’ll be at the store anyways. 

It works for Eddie and he goes as far as to hide his birthday from his friends for as long as he possibly can. Gareth, Jeff, and Frank still have no idea. The new found family he’s been adopted into since averting the (apparently third or fourth) Apocalypse don’t know, despite being asked by just about everyone at least once. It’s a fine-tuned skill, evading the question and changing the subject. 

“Hey Eddie, when’s your birthday? Did we miss it already this year?” Dustin asks at Will’s own birthday party. 

Eddie smirks. “Roll for insight, Young Henderson.” 

“Alright, got a die?” 

“Nope, darn!” Eddie pretends to pat the pockets of his jeans before shrugging and walking away. 

Nancy is the hardest to fend off but unless she finds his birth information through the microfiche at the library, he’s stalwart in his stance. She might, though, and that’s his only real concern. But by and large, his friends let it go, chalking it up to one of Eddie’s many quirks and occasionally joking about it when someone else’s birthday rolls around. The one person who won’t put it down though? 

Steve Harrington. 

Steve I Throw Parties For Everyone Harrington. Steve I’m Going To Annoy You About This At Least Once A Week Harrington. Steve Is It Today? Is It Tomorrow? You Seem Like A Winter Baby? Harrington.

And truthfully, Eddie can’t find it within himself to be genuinely mad at him about it, despite having snapped at everyone else who’s dared to ask more than once. Eddie grants Steve a pass for reasons he’s not quite ready to evaluate just yet, reasons he knows he’ll never tell, reasons that would require the same security clearance that knowing his birthday would because knowing his birthday would mean knowing this past. He’s not sure yet if he wants everyone— or anyone— to know about his dear old dad. 

In true The Universe Must Be Sentient And Actively Hate Me fashion, Steve happens to ask him again on his actual birthday. Steve’s backyard is glowing in the bluish tint of the full moon, stars twinkling in and out behind rogue clouds and smoke billowing from the joint they pass between them up towards the sky. It’s cold— early February in Hawkins is no joke— but Steve and Eddie have discovered an affinity for the cold breeze against their skin, finding it grounding and centering in its own way. 

“So, when’s your birthday? Is it getting close?” It’s a question Eddie’s heard no less than twenty times in the same cheeky intonation, Steve having learned not to expect anything besides an out of pocket response. What he doesn’t expect is silence. Steve never expects silence from Eddie. 

He turns to look at Eddie and sees him sitting in the same patio chair he’s been in all night, right next to him— too close, but not close enough at the same time. One leg is drawn up beneath one thigh and Eddie looks up at the sky, pointedly avoiding eye contact. If the moment didn’t feel as heavy as it does, Steve would find himself staring at the muscles of his neck and the way his throat bobs when he swallows. It is heavy though, and Steve can only focus on the weight of the space between them. 

“Hey, you good? You know I’m just fucking with you, right?” Steve asks, passing the joint back to him as an excuse to pull his attention back from the sky above them. Of all of the things Steve’s imagined having to fight for attention from, the moon was certainly not one of them but he supposes that tracks for Eddie. Nothing about Eddie is according to plan. 

Eddie takes the joint and carefully avoids Steve’s eyes, keeping his glance at his hands before returning to the stars and taking a deep inhale. Another few hits will make this all go away, he thinks to himself. The day had been difficult— memories he’d rather not have creeping up and wrapping themselves around his limbs like living vines.

Steve watches little bits of smoke curl out on his exhale and he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. 

“Ed, seriously, I’ll stop asking. I’m just teasing, I’ll quit it, just stop with the silence, dude. It’s… weird.” 

“Why?” Eddie asks, quietly. It’s just a single word but he’ll take it. 

“Why is it weird?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Because you’re not quiet. You don’t do silence unless something’s wrong.” 

“Maybe something is.” 

Steve sits for a second, his brain running in circles around itself. You fucked it up, c’mon, you kept asking, you knew better, why’d you have to keep prying, now you made him uncomfortable like you swore not to do—

“I can smell your brain overheating from here, Steve. Relax. It’s not you, I promise.” Eddie chuckles humorlessly under his breath and he makes a spontaneous decision, an impulsive decision he might regret but there's a little part of him that finds it hard to believe he'll ever regret sharing something with Steve.

“Then what is it? What’s wrong? Is it, y’know, End of the World- related or…?” Steve’s voice trails off. Part of the reason they’ve come to have these nights smoking in the cold, alone together, is that exactly: End of the World- related invisible scars. But Eddie just shakes his head no and sighs, placing the joint down on the glass patio table. 

“It’s today.” 

“Huh?”

Eddie turns to face him and raises both eyebrows. “It’s. Today. My birthday. It’s today.” 

“Wait— shit, really? And you’re telling me?” Steve’s heart pounds in his chest, not blind to the gravity of Eddie telling him his closest kept secret. 

Eddie shrugs and smiles without it touching his eyes. “Guess so. Take it to your grave, please?” 

“Well yeah, man, I don’t make a habit of going around and telling people’s secrets. But… thanks? For trusting me?” Steve reaches the few inches to Eddie’s shoulder and lets his hand rest there. It's contact but it's not enough. It’s never really enough, but it has to be. He has no reason to think Eddie feels the same way about him and he’ll be damned if he loses his best friend— second only to Robin, but that’s besides the point. The point is, he rests his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and lets his fingers move in slow repetitive circles into the fabric of Eddie’s jacket. 

“You’re welcome. It’s just— I have some… not so great memories attached to my birthday so I don’t celebrate it. Rather it just not exist, to be honest.” 

“Well, since it’s a big secret, you could just make it another day, y’know. We’ll all respect it and you can, like, create new memories and start over.”

Eddie glances down at Steve’s hand wandering, absentmindedly trailing his fingers along the base of his neck and to collarbone. Fuck his birthday, and fuck the horrible memories Clyde Munson had poured into it. The way his heart tumbles from his chest into his mouth negates all of it. 

“Really? Any suggestions?” He breathes, relieved that Steve doesn’t pry. He’s learned enough about Steve’s own childhood though to imagine why he doesn’t. For all of their outward differences, Steve gets it. Gets him. 

Steve watches Eddie’s eyes widen before they glance down at his hand and back up, filled with something that looks dangerously like hope. Steve, in turn, feels something dangerously like hope. 

“Maybe the day you woke up? In the hospital? I don’t know, I can see you liking the whole phoenix thing. Rebirth into something beautiful or whatever.” 

Eddie’s breath catches. Beautiful feels like an overinflated balloon floating precariously through the woods in Steve’s backyard— cheerful and buoyant, but always at the risk of catching on too sharp of a branch and tumbling back down to the hard ground. 

“Beautiful, huh?” 

“Yeah. It fits you.” Steve’s hand wanders again, this time intentionally, to brush a piece of Eddie’s hair behind his ear and cupping the side of his face. 

“Steve…” He whispers as they move slowly— achingly slowly— together, as though attached by an invisible thread. And maybe they are— the little red string of fate that’s been pulling them closer and closer since the day they met. Close enough now, finally, for Eddie to know how Steve’s lips feel against his, how his hands feel in his hair, how his heart beats in his chest when Eddie presses one hand there to tether himself to reality with nothing. No one but his stars watch him find his way back home, to Steve, where he should've been all along.

Eddie’s new birthday becomes April 2nd, the day he’d woken up from the induced coma. Eddie and Steve’s anniversary becomes February 9th, his old birthday. He can’t imagine a better way to create beauty out of ashes.

[adamnablelittledevil]

Hello,Can you rank your Armand favorite relationshipw and why ? (I just love reading opinions , nothing serious)

Hi!

Fistly, thank you for the question! I get sometimes sending messages can be uncomfortable and you may not receive the nicest answers, but you don't need to explain yourself. Whether is a fun or serious question, asking my opinion or sharing your own: I LOVE talking about this universe and always welcome it.

Anyway, now to ranking!

P.S. This is long and contain spoilers. These opinions are based on the sequence from The Vampire Lestat to The Vampire Armand and aren't necessarily permanent.

Lesmand / Armandstat

Favorite relationship on the books as a whole for basically three reasons: it's always interesting (even on its smallest moments), they are deeply mirrored so it provides a compelling dynamic and is often intense. They are two sides of the same coin and parallel one another so much in terms of personalities and experiences. From their first interaction, it already seemed that they knew each other their whole lives because they could read one another like an open book. There is this mix of unconscious, but immediate recognition, understanding, curiosity, care, attraction, insecurity, fear, anger and frustration because they're the only ones that fully get each other. It's one thing to know someone for what they share or you observe, but you only fully comprehend somebody when you have a lot in common like they do. Still, that's terrifying because you're completely bare, vulnerable and forced to confront stuff you want to run away from. They have a lot of sharp dialogue and arguments where they throw the hardest truths on the other's face and they know how to push each other's buttons from day one. Yet, the fascination, affection and protection are still there and they always stay somewhat close. And that results in a lot of first class tension: what brings both together also pulls them apart and they're often fighting so many conflicting emotions (as a duo and individuals) because they keep going back and forth. Obviously, they're far from perfect and have both tremendously hurt one another verbally, physically and with Claudia's death (which Armand's is responsible for). But even then, they were never enemies or rivals. I get why people would use such words, but I think they would need to hate or wish bad things for each other to be classified as such and that's never happened. Even if they did something to give that impression, it wasn't genuine and they made themselves suffer in the process too. There was definitely hate for words said and things done, but for the person it was always love. Through the good, the bad, the ugly and the complicated. This dynamic defies definitions and there aren't enough words in any language I know to fully and precisely categorize or desxribe even it. For better or worse, they're on a league of their own and I've never seen anything like it on books, movies or TV shows.

2. Armand x Bianca

I love Bianca. She's been such a great addition and it's a breath of fresh air whenever she appears. It was so satisfying to see them being friends, connecting and Armand having something that was entirely his own without Marius being involved (though considering the pattern of this book, it will probably change). I also enjoy the fact they met and bonded as humans, you know? There's something lovely and unique about it since most pairings had one or both parties already being a vampire on their first encounter. And another sweet thing is that even centuries later Armand still emphasizes how he'll never forget her. They have become really special to me.

3. Armand & Riccardo

Usually relationships where one is a small or Marius is somewhat involved don't work for me, but that's an exception. Riccardo isn't as developed as Armand and part of this (creepy) palazzo where Marius keeps several teenagers/children in, but you do know enough to grow attached to him. Actually, given the situation these boys are in, I ended up caring about the ones who don't even have a name. And despite the proximity Marius has to them, the kids have friendships of their own. Obviously, this isn't the healthiest environment and they all deserved better, but I'm so glad they had each other and a sense of family (specially because some of them don't even remember their own relatives well anymore). That brings me some kind of comfort. There are these moments when Armand gets emotional thinking about how much he loves them all and would die for them and when he almost does and they're all (with Bianca) crying and Armand is surprised by their reactions because they loved him so much... It really moved me So, I adore them.

4. Armandiel

The Devil's Minion chapter is one of my top favorite pieces of The Queen of the Damned. Its best aspect is seeing Armand on his self-discovery journey and how Daniel was just patient and supportive. And that's so important, because a big part of Armand's characterization is how he has no sense of identity. He's gone through so much trauma since early and formative years and always adapted to please others or even make out alive. This made him lose key parts of his memory and every sense of self and he definitely needed that. So, to see Daniel not tell him what to do, but instead let him try new stuff, see what he loved or not, on his own terms and pace and Daniel just going along with him... It was wonderful. The only downsides is that I believe Daniel deserved more individual development and it was rushed. Twelve years deserved more chapters, probably books plural. That said, I bet the show will take its strong points and only elevate their story. And I can't wait because I've already lost my mind with them on season 2 (they have my favorite scene on the show, by the way).

Honorable mentions:

Armand & Benji + Sybelle

Haven't seen a lot of them, but Armand opened his book saying he was full of love and excitedly talking about these children he took in. There's also this moment he asked David if he liked his kids and he just sounded like a proud dad. It was adorable. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of them.

Armand & his family

There's been very little of them and I doubt there will be more, so I can't talk about their relationship per se, but the chapter they say goodbye is devastating and beautiful. Those recent posts of me losing my mind were because of it. I've never cried so much with art and rarely cried like that even in real life. It was an experience I'd never had before and an emotion I didn't know was humanly possible. I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually touched to the point of exhaustion. It's been the best part of The Vampire Armand, if not of the whole chronicles. And it will stick with me forever.

[angelwishess]

Something More.

Your smile has begun to cut into your cheeks and your skin is starting to feel more like plastic than flesh. Tell me, Kyra; Are You Alive?

Your skin is beginning to crack, cover it up with paint. Don’t disappoint, they’re all waiting.

This is actually unfinished and i totally gave up on it but uuuhhh im gonna post it anyways because Kyra lore !!!!!! Yippeee !!!!!!!

Written from Kyra’s point of view, kind of like an inner monologue ig?? Idk lols teehee

WARNINGS: Dehumanizing & Self-depricating thoughts, mention of men being creeps but its pretty brief and not detailed

‘To be something more’ indicates you must be ‘something’ before being ‘more’.

If thats the case, then I can never be anything more than what I am. Because I am nothing.

I have no desire. No will of my own. I have no wants or dreams. I do not speak for myself. And I do not live for myself. I am something that is to be used for the sake of my family and my people.

Something like me, can never be more. That simply isn’t what I was meant for. That life was never to be mine.

I was made to sit still, and let the stares of others burn holes into my flesh. Heavy eyes clouded with intentions that are impure lingering on my skin. To not react whenever they reach to get a touch of me. To not pull away my hand when they lean down to kiss it, despite knowing they never had any innocent intentions to begin with.

I was made to exalt my country, to be a figurehead, a display of beauty and perfection. To never show any fault nor flaw— to be inhuman, in the eyes of everyone else.

Am I human? Am I even alive?

…That is something I no longer know.

To be human… What does it mean to be human?

To breathe? Is it to feel? What seperates us from the beasts of the wilds? Is it our skin?

There must be something more. But whatever it is eludes me. Maybe, it’s because I must not be human.

Why else would they treat me this way? They look at me as if I am not alive. Am I something to be desired? After all, I myself cannot desire. How selfish of me would that be… Can you imagine?

For me to… Dream. To want.

…I still want more.

Maybe I am human. Or maybe theres something wrong with me. Even now, I still want. I want adventure, I want to feel the wind on my skin, I want to travel to far off places and dip my feet into the sea.

I want to meet people, I want to try new things… I want to leave this place—

…Ahh.. How terribly selfish of me…

I’m sorry, father. I know you only want whats best for me… You do, right? Thats why you tell me to do all this? Thats why you keep me here. You’re just… Protecting me.

I promise to throw away all these disgusting thoughts. This is my duty, after all. My only purpose. The only thing that gives me purpose… I don’t have much other than this. I am what everyone else says that I am, and that is all that matters.

[alrightbuckaroo]

Happy Friday, my loves! It's been a minute since I've seen this tag game go around and it's been even longer since I participated. Seems like the perfect time to change that. As always, please feel free to use this as a jumping off point for all the wonderful words that have been written. Don't stop with just this list!

Take my hand, take my whole life, too by @heartstringsduet

With each wrinkle, each scar, each crease, each spot, their rings, their hands tell the stories of their lives together.

throw me on a hurricane (i'll ride it to the coast) by ArsenicInYourPudding

This is, in fact, TK's first rodeo. Carlos is lucky that he's there anyway.

Protect me by Karaxuno

“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” TK asks, struggling for a second to find the words for what he wants to say, “Space to grow?” “With you, I’d take a closet.” Carlos teases, his fingers dancing away from his shirt sleeve and instead tracing up and down the line of TK’s jaw. “Been there, done that, let’s find a house.” TK grins, unable to stop the little laugh that bubbles in his chest. Or, post-S2-fire TK and Carlos look for a place together, and house shopping has its ups and downs.

Among my stillness was a pounding heart by @tailoredshirt

TK took a deep breath. “I think we need to talk about what happened last fall. With the loft.” Carlos’s brain was skipping around from one feeling to the next like a pinball. “With…when we broke up?” “Yeah.” “You…want to talk about the breakup,” Carlos said slowly. “While I’m proposing to you.” TK squeezed his hands. “Yes. Please.”

I hold onto the night you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me by @irispurpurea

"I have lost everything!" TK roars, and it feels so good. "Isn't that the whole point?" Or: It's the beginning of Season 4, and TK and Carlos are broken up again.

The Light of Our Life by @carlos-in-glasses

After an awkward conversation, Carlos buys TK a bearded dragon and fears it may be a parting gift (Coda for 4x12)

See Me (All of Me) by @bonheur-cafe

A fractured heart and a plea to be seen. Otherwise known as: the apology from his mom that Carlos never got, but deserves.

Make Me Laugh 'till I Die, I Stand Beside You With Pride by @lemonlyman-dotcom

A coda to the ending scene of 4x06. TK has a moment of insecurity; Carlos reassures him and, in the quiet safety of their bed, confesses an insecurity of his own.

tried and true blue by @reyesstrand

"She knows," Owen says, his eyes almost too sincere for TK to handle. He clamps his molars together and just stares at his father, because if he lets himself think too hard about all the ways his mom is still here, somehow, he'll probably burst into tears. Owen gives him a sad smile. "She does, TK. She used to talk about when you'd get married all the time." There's a pause, and TK curls his fingers tighter around his mug, letting everything simmer between them. "When I got married," TK quietly repeats. "Not if?"

and because there's a new chapter on the way, I'm going to recommend my shameless collection of smut, something to give each other (things are about to get so casual)

No pressure tagging everyone above and:

@captain-gillian, @carlos-tk, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @basilsunrise, @butchreyes

@nancys-braids, @never-blooms, @mikibwrites, @lightningboltreader, @herefortarlos

@honeybee-taskforce, @guardian-angle22, @freneticfloetry, @fifthrideroftheapocalypse, @strandnreyes

@sheholdsthemoon, @actual-sleeping-beauty, @whatsintheboxmh, @welcomehometk, @reasonandfaithinharmony

@welcometololaland, @eclectic-sassycoweyes, @rmd-writes, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @theghostofashton

@orchidscript, @paperstorm, @emsprovisions, and of course here's an open tag for anyone who just wants to share!!

[wuucchoo]

ch 17 and the misconception some people have about it...

so we are at ch 250 ish in jjk, and many things had happened. Like, MANY. But I still see people with the 'Megumi was about to summon Makora against Todo' argument, and whether or not its a joke - its getting tired as hell.

So, I'm gonna throw this essay into the void that is the internet coz I wanna rant about it >:(

(•̀⤙•́)

In this chapter, two students from the Kyoto branch were briefly introduced. The third year Aoi Todo, and the second year Zenin Mai. 

These two went to the Tokyo branch a little earlier than the intended schedule for the goodwill event because they wanted to check out (bully) the first years, since these kids (Megumi and Nobara) will replace the third years for the event this time around.

Todo wanted his last goodwill event to be memorable, so he wanted all the best fighters to be around. But since two of the third years ran away to establish their own fight club while Yuta went on an adventure somewhere in Africa, Todo’s dream of a memorable goodwill might be a little blurry. So he had to go and assess (bully) the first years, so he may know what to expect.

Todo’s intention was clear from the start - he was only there to test whether the Tokyo branch first years are worthy enough to fight. So he asked Megumi his type of woman.

Honestly, if he was there to assess the first years, I think he should've asked Nobara her type as well but he just treated her like she was invisible the entire time. (¬_¬")

Anyway, Megumi gave him an answer and Todo didn't really like it.

But why?

If we go by what Todo states as his reason, the only one that was clear was that he thinks that Megumi’s answer was boring. Which is fair, people find different things boring - we all have our own preferences and stuff. I personally think that Megumi’s answer was good. Not just good, actually - his answer was the best I heard when it comes to such questions. But what exactly was it that made Megumi’s answer ‘boring’ in Todo Aoi's eyes?

I think the answer is that megumi’s answer was too good, actually. 

The problem with Megumi, in Todo’s eyes at least, is that he thinks TOO MUCH. There are too many thoughts in this kid’s head, too much brain cells interacting with each other in there - that Todo finds boring. Now, I'm not saying that Todo is a dumbass - between Tokyo and Kyoto he and Megumi are the only one who managed to have a perfect 10 when it comes to classroom learning.

His ‘style’ of intellect is probably just completely different from Megumi’s. If Megumi answered with a surface level attraction - for example;  he 'likes big butts and he cannot lie' - immediately after Todo asked him, Todo wouldn't have found it boring (he would still attack, of course). But because Megumi thought about a proper answer honestly and seriously, for way too long, Todo got offended. He likes brainless and quick answers better.

The moment Megumi hesitated to answer, he was already 'boring' in Todo's eyes.

When Todo asks someone this question, he's not only gauging their personality - he's also assessing their fighting style based on what and how they answer.

And Todo's preferred combat style is no brain, head empty, just punch punch kick - just what you’ll expect from the very same man who showed Yuji how to do a black flash. A state of being that’s the very embodiment of brainless concentration resulting in drooling and a punch stronger than your strongest punch. Given how Todo's CT works, he does strategize and think about his next moves - but not to the extent that Megumi does. Todo strategizes while he fights, Megumi strategizes and then fights. I'm not saying they fight exclusively like this! Its just the gist of their differing fighting style.

I'm just trying to get to something and putting all these in mind is important to get to it.

From the moment that Todo showed a sign of wanting a fight, Megumi’s thoughts were how he could avoid conflict and diffuse the situation. He never viewed todo as someone he had to defeat, but a problem he had to solve. Which is an insult for this guy Todo, who came into their school looking for a fight.

Even when Todo landed that first punch on Megumi, making him fly across the hallway, his thoughts were still about how to diffuse the situation - because his plan was to keep his distance from Todo. Todo was a problem, not a real enemy. Up to the point when Todo used his body to bulldoze through a building, Megumi's plan was the same. Nullify, not fight. Diffuse, not escalate.

It only changed when Todo asked him if he was even trying. Which irked Megumi, because he was trying. Trying to diffuse the situation, that is. And not fight. Which can be deduced in his choice of shikigami, he chose the defense type and not the offense ones - like his dog and the owl. Granted, the frogs had Nue's flight ability - but it's clear that Megumi only chose to summon it primarily to try and incapacitate Todo. Not fight him.

Which leads us to the actual point of this whole essay

Some people had been clowning him left right and center for 'trying' to summon Makora against Todo, which would actually be funny - if it was true. I mean, imagine summoning your untamed murderous pet against a high school bully, at the risk of killing yourself too btw.

Hilarious, right? (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

But, uh, Megumi didn't do that.

What happened was Megumi actually ‘wanting’ to fight Todo, not just deescalate the situation, and Todo felt that change.

Ever since Todo started that fight, Megumi never thought about fighting him - and Todo knows that, that's why he thinks Megumi is boring. Because he ‘thinks’.

They are in the school, among classmates and colleagues, unarmed and unprepared - there are literally so many things to consider before Megumi could even fully commit to a fight that he never asked to be a part of. There are absolutely zero reasons (in Megumi’s head) why he had to fight an upperclassman from a sister school out of nowhere. That was why in that 5 seconds fight that they had, we only ever see Megumi on the defense.

So when megumi decided not to think and just go with it, Todo felt that change in him. It wasn't general Makora that Todo felt, because Megumi had to do a hand sign and a chant in order for that shikigami’s presence to be felt - as can be seen when he first did that thing at the juvenile detention center. Sukuna only felt a strong shikigami when Megumi started chanting. 

When Yuji first ate a finger and Megumi did the hand sign, Sukuna didn't react to it because Megumi didn't do the chant. 

This is the only page that showed Megumi about to fight Todo seriously, and there is no hand sign in sight.

So, how in the world would Todo feel the general’s presence when Megumi did not do a hand sign and a chant? Do people think that Todo's spidey senses are stronger than Sukuna - that all it took for Todo to feel its presence was for Megumi to think about it? That's… huh.

With all that said, no, Megumi was not gonna summon Makora against Todo (an ally) just because of a school fight. He was just gonna do what Todo had been urging him to do - and that is to fight for real. Megumi fighting for real does not mean Makora is about to jump out of the shadow because he never used Makora to fight - Makora has always been a last resort. When shit truly hit the fan. All those instances against Sukuna, Hanami, the whole Shibuya fiasco and Sukuna about to possess him - were all Makora level threats because Gojo was not around.

I have so many rants left in me so next I'm gonna rant about how every time Megumi considered summoning Makora it is justified (ง'̀-'́)ง

[inhuman-obey-me]

Flowers for a Devil

Because Asmo didn't get an official birthday event story this year, which we think is pretty unfair as the last in the brothers' cycle, we made our own birthday story and art 😤

Asmodeus has always loved surrounding himself with flowers, but this year, he's gotten really into flower language. So as a surprise for his birthday, everyone decides to throw a flower-themed party, and they all get him different flowers that they thought would suit him!

(story and flower explanations below the cut)

SOLOMON

As Asmo insists on ringing in his birthday, Solomon finds himself dragged out clubbing the night before

But seeing as they would be out together, he figures it would be a perfect opportunity to give his pact-mate his gift right at midnight

He offers Asmo a narcissus, which earns him a little bit of an eye-roll, though he laughs it off

"Well, yes, it does mean egotism of course. But it also means 'stay sweet as you are.' Happy birthday, Asmodeus. Never change."

MAMMON

Mammon was dragged out the night before as well, though a bit more willingly, as part of Team Party People

Not quite having thought it through as much but not wanting to be outdone, he gives Asmo his flower as soon as they get home at the end of the night

His is a lovely little yellow flower, called a coreopsis

"It means 'always cheerful.' Because ya always try so hard to make everyone happy. We notice, ya know. Happy birthday, Asmo!"

BEELZEBUB

Initially, Beel had planned to wait to give his flower along with everyone else at the party, but by morning, the sweet scent of it has him worried

Not wanting to accidentally eat it during the day, he gives it to Asmo first thing at breakfast

The Avatar of Lust squeals with delight at the amethyst tones of the forget-me-not

"Happy birthday, Asmo. You're a great big brother to me and Belphie. So this is to show that I really admire you."

DIAVOLO

The young prince is so excited to give his gift that he actually gets to the party early

Once he arrives, he seeks out Asmo right away, grinning widely

He proudly hands the stalk of white delphinium blossoms to the lustful demon, and gets a smile almost just as big in return

"These are for you, Asmodeus. According to human realm traditions, these represent a happy nature. I hope you'll continue to share yours with the entire Devildom! Happy birthday!"

BARBATOS

The prince's butler, of course, comes not far behind his liege

He smiles politely at the birthday demon and hands forth the blossom he brought as well

Upon seeing the daylily in his hands, Asmo immediately takes the "coquetry" flower as license to flirt shamelessly with his fellow pact-holder

"Ah, please don't misunderstand, I'm afraid this doesn't mean I share your particular inclinations. But the meaning of it certainly reminded me of you. Happy birthday, Asmodeus."

THIRTEEN

Though she's not especially close with Asmodeus, she still decided to drop by the party

Not one to show up empty-handed, she makes sure to have a flower for him too

To be on the safe side, she chose an orchid, which he's certainly happy enough to receive

"Love and beauty is basically, like, your thing, right? So this is for you! Happy birthday!"

MEPHISTOPHELES

At Diavolo's enthusiastic invitation, Mephisto deigns to join the party and its theme

However, since he's not very fond of the brothers, he settles on gifting a sprig of candytuft to indicate his indifference

Asmodeus, however, is only familiar with its more positive meanings -- sweetness, joy, and beauty -- so he's perfectly pleased by the selection, to Mephisto's confusion

"Don't tell me you're happy about a gift like this? You lot truly are bizarre. Anyway, I'm told it's your birthday, so happy birthday."

SIMEON

Simeon is next to approach the Avatar of Lust, with both other angels following along behind

He presents the flower simply, but Asmo is immediately fascinated by the odd pink petals at its base

Having known him for a long time, Simeon thinks the lady's slipper and its meaning of capricious beauty sounded just right for his friend

"We actually wanted to get some Celestial Realm flowers for you, but we didn't get a chance to go back. Still, I thought this one would suit you well. Happy birthday!"

RAPHAEL

Raphael, having also known Asmodeus a long time but on slightly less friendly terms, is a bit more awkward about his gift as he approaches

Nonetheless, he smiles as he gives his flower, reiterating Simeon's apology for not being able to get one from the Celestial Realm

He doesn't mention the meaning of the anemone, letting his bittersweet feelings towards the former angel go unspoken -- a forsaken affection, new beginnings, and protection from evil

"Here, this is for you. I hope you like it. Happy birthday, Asmodeus."

LUKE

Luke is quivering a bit behind Simeon, though more out of shyness now than the fear he used to have towards the demon

He thrusts the stalk of little flowers forward, and yelps audibly when Asmo starts petting his head in thanks

Shouting once again that he is not a dog, he mentally reaffirms the lesser-known secondary meaning he found for the gifted white hyacinth -- "I'll pray for you"

"Um, I heard they used to call you the Jewel of the Heavens...so I got you this flower that represents loveliness. Happy birthday, Asmo!"

BELPHEGOR

Belphie is less inclined towards the outright partying, so he waits until Asmo pauses to get a drink to give his gift

He has his brattiest grin as he hands the flower over, and although Asmo rolls his eyes and tells him to stop it, he very clearly actually thinks it's cute of his youngest brother

Despite that, Belphegor had chosen the white hydrangea for him means togetherness and sincere feelings, perfect for family -- though, fittingly, it also represents vanity

"Here, a flower for the most narcissistic member of our family. Just kidding. Happy birthday, Asmo."

LEVI

Sensing his chance, Levi also takes the opportunity to present his flower to Asmo

He tries not to be too jealous of the beautiful bouquet that his brother has gathered, though the Avatar of Envy can't help but think he could never be popular enough to receive all that

But after all, his envy is equally driven by admiration, and the variegated tulip precisely represented things he admires about his brother -- his beautiful, charming eyes and his popularity and fame

"Happy birthday, Asmo! I heard about this flower from the anime I was watching last week, I Accidentally Ate A Poisonous Flower and Now I've Been Reincarnated As A Demonic Princess?!, and thought it sounded just like you. I hope you like it!"

SATAN

It's at this point that Satan realizes that almost everyone else has given their flower, and he's determined to at least beat Lucifer to it

He had studied books on flower meanings for a solid month trying to select the perfect one, and is confident he's chosen the perfect one to describe Asmo

Though the citron flower he gives means "ill-natured" beauty, he hands it over with begrudging affection, which his brother immediately teases him for

"Argh, this kind of thing is exactly why I chose this! But it does mean beauty as well, just like you. Happy birthday, Asmo."

LUCIFER

As the party winds down, Asmo has a pretty sizeable bouquet in hand, and he's excited to show it off to his eldest brother before they head home

As he does so, he looks expectantly at Lucifer, who just smirks, because of course he has a flower ready too

He gives Asmo an alyssum, which the younger brother is familiar with but looks at with some confusion -- worth beyond beauty?

"It means exactly what you think it does, yes. Remember that in this next year. Happy birthday, Asmo."

[on7u]

summary: u piss in the woods wit flirty and annoying ellie

cw: peeing in the woods? she teases u, thats literally it.. its fluffy um also i didnt know how to word it but whenever u see '_its' just say the first letter of ur name or first syllable wtv sounds better 2 u :3

a/n: this is my first big writing thing ever please excuse its shittyness if u can 😞🙏 its also really bad so actually dont even read this im just having a moment of weakness where i post. anyways MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI!!!!

you and ellie were searching for a place for you to pee. the woods were scary, you couldn't go alone! (”el come with me? i know you don't have to pee just what if a bear gets me?”) and there was no way you could just pee anywhere either.. (”right there?! what if an ant crawls up my ass or a thorn pokes me? no lets keep looking.”) that's how you two found yourselves walking through the forest you were originally just patrolling through, to find the perfect place for you.

“god why can't you just squat and go.” ellie groaned, looking at her foot in the puddle of mudd she just stepped in. you didn't respond, pushing your finger into her back to signal her to keep walking. she complied with your silent request, continuing to navigate through the trees to find something her picky friend might approve of. her eyes lit up at what she thought might satisfy you, taking a step towards it.

“oh how about th-” she was cut off by her foot sinking into what seemed like a poorly built groundhog's nest, as it crumbled under her weight. her entire leg sank into it and she let out a groan at the less-than-ideal position she found herself in.

you gasped and yelled out, “bellie!” as soon as she fell, grabbing her arm to stop her fall which proved to be pointless as the fall wasn't nearly as far as you thought it would be. ellie stopped caring as soon as the word fell out of your mouth. She looked up at you and smiled, squinting at the sun in her eyes and letting out a weak laugh. You frowned, letting her arm out of your grip.

god she has never looked more attractive in her life.

“what'd you call me?” ellie asked, reaching for you again when you started to turn around and walk away.

“nothing,” you responded curtly, narrowly avoiding her grabbing hands. “i'm gonna pee now.” you mumbled, squatting behind a bush.

“did you call me belly?” she asked, lifting herself out of the hole and dusting herself off.

it took you a while to respond out of embarrassment but finally, “it was an accident.” you said meekly. ellie snorted.

“what if i started calling you tits?” she suggested, turning around when you got up and pulled your backpack back on.

“it wasn't like the body part, it was like ellie with a b.” you grumbled, already tired of this conversation. it truly was a slip of the tongue! well, maybe you came up with the nickname in your head because of ellie's sweet tooth but still! ellie nodded, acting like she understood.

“aah so i should call you _its then.” she said, throwing her arm around your shoulders. you almost stopped in your tracks. as the two of you got closer with time, ellie had become more physically affectionate towards you but she had never given you a nickname. this had you confused because why was your heart beating so fast over a nickname derived from the word tits? why did your face feel so hot? why was ellie’s skin or your own making her feel so antsy now?

it was usual for you to not say much but what wasn't was for you to not push ellie away or make a face at her or groan. she looked for your face and grinned.

“you alright _its? you're feelin’ kinda hot.” she said, fanning you with her free hand. you whined and bat her hands away.

“yea i am hot.” you shove her arm off your shoulder and walk ahead of her to genuinely cool off, even if her raspy laughter from behind you made it hard.

[wolfpawzjakey]

Jason as the legacy of Poliʻahu, Percy as the legacy of Pele.

They are not only the sky and the sea, but also ice and fire.

Hawaiian goddess of winter Poliʻahu. Hawaiian goddess of fire Pele.

Really just 100% in on Percy and Jason always saying fuck it and throwing the differences they have between them to the wind and smooching despite how “fire and ice” they are supposed to be with each other. Like????? These guys have loads and loads of things that should be mountain sized hurdles between them and they’re still smooching hardcore?? I’m here for that.

But in all seriousness, sing the legacies of rival goddesses of fire and ice is kinda sexy tbh right? These two people who can never mix by natures law and yet they come together as one anyway? Steamy is like the perfect word to describe it with because that’s what the two things do.

And it’s perfectly form fitting too. You have Percy, loud and in your face, a catastrophe and danger that can take away life in massive quantities BUT he is also grounds for new life. Fires do so much for ecosystems, they can knock them down but rebuild them greener and lusher than years before. Fires also bring people life in so many ways. You can cook with fire, make water safe with fire, and it warms you to your core during cold winters. And Jason, he’s a cold and calculating type, it’s different in its own way, ice can be an invisible killer, something you drive over without noticing. It can kill slowly and uncaring without shelter and the heat of a fire. But ice is something people are enamored with. We’re ever encapsulated by the beauty of a snowflake, we adore how is can refresh us on days so hot we feel like we’re being baked alive, and ice brings joy to most when it’s season is here. The childlike joy of building snow sculptures and playing in it, the comfort is not like that of fire but it’s perfect in its own way.

I just love this actually.