#thats not a healthy coping skill

[notreyev]

okay. what meds do you think they'll put nureyev on post-canon? i think for an antidepressant he's on welbutrin because SSRIs made him feel Void. and probably a mood stabilizer too

[swiftfootedachilles]

mickey fans who think ian is bad/toxic/"worse" than mickey (or any other character for that matter) is so funny because like. how do you think mickey would react to you saying that. the whole appeal of mickey is that hes a flea-invested rabid dog that keeps crawling back to ian no matter how bad it is for both of them. thats the whole point of their dynamic. they treat each other like shit, run away to lick their wounds, then mickey drags himself back to lay at ians feet, and ian takes him back every single time because he knows nobody is ever gonna care for him like mickey does. mickey blatantly states in the show that he would extend his prison sentence if it meant staying with ian. if he can obsess over ian unconditionally then so can anyone else idk

[sugar-spice-everything-vice]

Carl is bad at expressing himself and dealing with emotions;

but i think the fact that Carl, lacking resources like therapy, still manages to find a proper way to let out his emotions like breaking shit instead of lashing out at people around him and resorting to self destruction in the way hes seen his siblings do speaks mounds to the kind of person he is and to how much effort he puts into himself and becoming a better person even though it doesnt seem that way at first glance

[arolesbianism]

Shakes Tali oh so hard. Smth smth just desperately wanting to not have to be strong and to have someone take care of you and hold you but being so ashamed of wanting that and so ashamed of being in pain. Smth smth looking into the face of death and forcing yourself to dig out your own grave because at this point it feels easier to make peace with dying than to make peace with living. Smth smth sitting in a room with the people you love and realizing they love you and feeling so sick that you almost throw up

[fortunemars]

Beh me when I see someone defend ppl who neglect their daily lives and friends family and relationships to play games as (not directly quoted) "a distraction and coping mechanism to avoid (insert stupid doomer take on life)" and I'm just like.

Page break, rant below

Dude Idk about you but if you're so addicted to your games that you're refusing to leave the house or talk to people or do anything other than game, then you have some serious things to think about. Bc yes it can be a coping mechanism but there is a point where it does more harm than good.

Defending gaming addiction and saying that guys who play games 24/7 and neglect everything outside of their screens are just "struggling with coping with the horrors of life" is such an amazing way to 1- make neglected partners feel like absolute shit by telling them it's a coping mechanism and implying that getting upset about it makes them the bad person (cause that happened to me) and 2- tell people that it's okay to doom scroll through games 24/7 and ignore the world around you instead of giving them ways to ACTUALLY cope.

Yes you can cope by playing games. No you should not cope by ignoring the world around you and neglecting everything else.

Give people options to do instead, don't brush off the bad parts of a bad coping mechanism and just say it's okay bc "at least they're coping".

Btw this is absolutely not to say you can't have a hyperfixation! I'm ND, I know how intense those can be and I know how often I can get stuck doing something without even considering the outside world. What I'm talking about here is willingly choosing to ignore everything except your game so you don't have to deal with it. Avoidance is the worst thing on earth and we should not condone it in any way.

++btw I say "guys" and "men" this whole post, I just want to say that I know that isn't fair bc it's possible and very common in all genders and all types of ppl. I'm heavily biased in this conversation and I'm acknowledging that while also acknowledging that ANYONE can be neglectful or abusive especially in this way and I don't excuse any of that.

All people can be toxic, not just men and not just cis men, so don't let anyone get away with this shit bc you think it can't happen bc of their gender. Abuse does not conform to gender roles, it can happen to anyone and be perpetrated by anyone, gender doesn't change that. There are way too many people who are told and convinced that they were not/are not being abused because it doesn't match what people's idea of abuse looks like and that's horrible. Please don't downplay shitty treatment because of a person's traits.

Remember that You are the most important person in your life, you need to value yourself because if you lose yourself then there is no you to live through. Please don't avoid leaving someone who treats you like shit cause you don't want to be intense or drastic or "too much". It's not worth it to stay with someone that's hurting you. There is no excuse for abuse, you do not deserve to be hurt.

If it's safe for you, if you have somewhere to go or people able to protect you then please do not stay with a partner that is hurting you. No amount of pain inflicted on you is okay. You're never required to accept an apology, especially if there is no change. At the very least, try to accept help and ask for support. I know it can be hard to disconnect emotionally and that doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes we just need help, that's completely okay.

(and if it's not possible for you to leave safely then that's okay too, remember to stay as safe as you can, protect yourself and reach out if it's possible. You are never less valid for staying with someone if you cannot escape, you're never less valid because you've been abused. We love you and we want you to be safe, safe and alive.)

[sleepless-rants]

I see a lot of people say that they dont like dainsleif because his manipulative to the traveler, and while obviously everyone's entitled to their opinion I personally think thats the whole point.

This man watched his homeland crumble to dust, watched his people either die or turn into monsters and was cursed to immortality and robbed off any chance of relief and has had to live with it all for five centuries while his body slowly caves in on itself and its gotten to the point where he's not even seeking redemption. What can he do other than manipulate and guilt trip the one key to closure he thinks they have left into helping him with his plans?

And on a side but not unrelated note this goes for literally every other khaenri'ahn as well in my opinion. How do you expect them to care about other people and have healthy communication skills/coping mechanisms ™  after all that shit even if it was their fault or they desreved it etc etc. Im not saying its exusable im saying its understandable. Forgivable even.

[geekygothamite]

I think Tim is the type of person who cant stop working for the life of him. Like that boy has one hobby and thats skating, he stopped photography when he bacame Robin. Everything else he does is related to work. Either Robin stuff or CEO stuff.

He works the whole day. He eats while working. He catches up on the latest news and stock prizes while doing his morning workouts. He makes his to do list in the shower. Before he goes to sleep he plans this weeks agenda.

When hes banned from the cave or goes home from Wayne enterprises he still works. Just by doing less traditional work like for an example he'll use google maps to learn gotham city streets by heart. Or he'll research potential bussiness partners/rivals.

Only when hes with young justice does he stop, but hes mostly too busy to be with them.

Bruce also does this to a certain degree, but he spends his free time picking up new skills which are also usefull as batman, but those also include things that are just recreational.

Tim does it as some sort of coping mechanism. When he was young he felt absolutely useless since he was abandonned, but now he has a purpose and has (mistakenly) learned that he can do anything if he puts in enough work.

Its not healthy by any means, but if he does all this work by himself he cant be replaced or left to die alone.

[part-time-zombie]

Night Owls

pairings: platonic intrulogical

summary: logan only really lets himself unwind when he's sure he won't get caught or interrupted. he should have known remus would catch him in the act, and he can only hope he'll keep a secret.

tags/warnings: crude language, i know what the summary sounds like but this is not a smut fic, I just don't know how else to word it

word count: 2267

a/n: this summary makes it sound worse than it is. logan just wants to chill out in his onesie without being laughed at, thats all.

Logan didn���t get very many chances to relax. There was always some crisis or argument or problem that needed to be solved, resolved, and fixed, and Logan was usually the only side with the means and the skill to get the necessary work done. It seemed like every day had something else that required his attention and energy, and he was in desperate need of a proper break.

He knew he’d never be able to actually take some time to himself during the day. Everyone else would be awake and coming up with another disaster during those daylight hours, and he’d inevitably have to put aside whatever he was doing to take care of it.

He had tried to simply remain in his room so he could have some time to himself, but he would usually just get summoned in the middle of whatever he was doing. Even on the off chance that he wasn’t, he still preferred to spend his free time in the living room, where he could have better access to his preferred snacks and shows on a far more comfortable couch.

Even if the day passed peacefully through some impossible miracle, there was no way Logan would be able to relax unscathed. If any of the other sides were to actually see him in such a state where he openly indulged in the few things that he still enjoyed, they’d never let him live it down. They had made that point clear enough already after he was caught wearing his unicorn onesie, mocked for dressing like Sherlock, and judged for his enthusiasm regarding his favorite jam. If it made him look anything other than serious, it would only be met with shame and criticism.

Fortunately, Logan knew a means of ensuring that he would be able to properly relax without anyone ever noticing. At least, it would significantly reduce the odds of him being found out or interrupted. None of the other sides stayed up particularly late with most of them in bed before 11:30, courtesy of Logan’s repeated insistence on a healthy sleep schedule. What better time to enjoy some peace and quiet than when no one else would be awake to bother him?

Logan didn’t make it a habit of course. Regularly staying up so late would only have a negative effect on his health, and frequent outings would only increase the chance of someone eventually walking in on him and catching him in the act. He made great efforts to minimize the regularity and duration of these nights, only taking time for himself once every other month at most, and only when the stress and frustration became too severe for him to manage otherwise.

Limited chances to enjoy his free time also meant he had to make the most of every opportunity he had to unwind, treating it as if it would be his last chance to do so. He would partake in every hobby, interest, or habit that brought him joy at once, sometimes testing combinations of coping mechanisms to find the ones which worked best. Logan even took inspiration from the other sides, testing their own de-stressing techniques on occasion. While he didn’t fully understand it himself, he did somewhat share an appreciation for Virgil's tendency to sit on non-chair surfaces. To Logan it felt like a chance to let himself be somewhat silly on occasion, which worked especially well when he was also wearing his onesie.

Roman and Patton's methods also held their own merit, though Logan did slightly alter the finer details to better serve him. He wasn’t comfortable with singing, much less on serenading himself in the mirror, but positive affirmations and motivational encouragement were definitely enjoyable, even if they were on some prerecorded podcast he was listening to instead of genuine praise. Comfort food had proved itself successful many times now, though Logan obviously favored crofters over the cookies Patton preferred on any given day.

Tonight Logan had decided to indulge in some of his favorite habits, even if only for a few hours. After ensuring that everyone else was asleep for the night, he crept downstairs and wasted no time in making himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged on the floor in his unicorn onesie and enjoying some crofters fresh from the jar with a glass of wine to chase it with. He wanted to watch some Doctor Who tonight as well but he felt the sound from the tv would be too risky no matter how low the volume was. Logan chose to work on a sudoku puzzle while he ate instead, resting in blissful silence as the apartment settled around him.

Only, that wasn’t just the sound of the apartment. There was a heavy and rhythmic noise from upstairs, slowly but steadily coming closer to him. It almost sounded like…

The footsteps started down the stairs before Logan had a chance to react. He ought to change back to his normal outfit and sit properly or at least come up with a good excuse, but he didn’t have the time to do either before the intruder came to a stop at the foot of the stairs.

Remus stared at Logan with a mix of surprise and amusement on his face. He was, rather fortunately, wearing a black tank-top and boxers, and was far less embarrassed at being caught in his sleepwear than Logan currently was about his own attire.

“I can explain…” Logan started, cringing at having been caught by Remus of all sides.

“Explain which part, exactly?” he teased, a sly grin on his face. “Do you wanna start with the onesie you said you don’t wear anymore, or you squatting crisscross applesauce like that while you’re hunched over a jar of jam in the middle of the night?”

Logan internally chided himself for being so reckless. He should have known that at the very least Remus was bound to wander the house at night if no one else. In hindsight, the fact that he didn’t run into this problem sooner is astounding.

Logan got up from where he was sitting, rather awkwardly given his position, and tried to think of some way to convince Remus to not tell any of the others about this. He knew this was a fools errand, though. There was nothing he could say or do to make the chaotic side keep any kind of secret, especially one so humiliating. Still, for the sake of his pride, he had to try.

“What’s the matter there, brainiac? Dead cat got your tongue?” Remus joked, leaning against the railing in a manner that effectively blocked Logan's way back upstairs.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” he urged, keeping his voice down to prevent the others from waking as well. “I doubt you’ll listen to me or really even care, but I am asking you nicely to just keep this information to yourself. I’d rather the others not find out about this, please.”

“Why does that matter?” he asked with a shrug. “So what if you’re actually a total fucking dork under that stupid tie. Do you really need the others to take you seriously that damn badly?”

“Yes,” Logan answered, almost forgetting to whisper in his desperation. “If I am not taken seriously, then I will not be respected. And if I am not respected, I will not be listened to.”

“Oh, who fucking cares about all of that? No one respects me at all and I still find my own ways to get my point across, don’t I?” Remus replied, arching an eyebrow in a knowing expression.

“That’s because you’re more showy about it, you’re loud about your needs in a way that I can’t be,” Logan explained, shoulders sagging in defeat. “I can only be heard through respect.”

Remus just stared back at him, an odd half smile on his face. It seemed like Remus didn’t hear him or was simply ignoring him like last time, which he half expected by now. It was clear that Remus didn’t care about him anyway. Logan wanted to just go back to his room and will this whole situation away but even if he would do something as cowardly as that he couldn’t, not with Remus barricading the stairs. He hoped that just this once, Remus could be reasoned with.

“What can I do to convince you to keep quiet about this?” he asked, already regretting this decision. Entering a bargain like this with Remus would only end poorly, but he had no other option.

Remus’ half smile twisted into a devilish grin, eyes lighting up with opportunistic enthusiasm. If Logan didn’t hate this situation before, he certainly did now.

“You’re really fucking stupid enough to bargain with me over your damn pride?” he scoffed.

“No, I’m desperate enough to negotiate for my privacy and respect.”

Remus gave him a look at that. Not one of mockery or scorn like Logan first predicted, but rather one of disbelief and intrigue.

“Alright, then.” he started, finally moving from his spot by the banister. Remus lazily meandered to the kitchen, searching around for something to eat. Logan considered hurrying back upstairs while he still could, but he decided against it. If this is Remus expressing a willingness to cooperate, he wasn’t about to pass it up.

After finding his desired snack Remus headed over to the couch and sat down with a self-satisfied hum, lapping up large handfuls of peanut butter right from the jar. “If this matters so much to you, we’ll start there,” he said, mouth still somewhat full. He patted the couch next to him and Logan sat back down, though somewhat hesitantly. There was no telling how this would go.

“Every now and then when I get bored and restless I tend to just get up and wander around the place, see where I end up and all that. Sometimes I get a snack, sometimes I watch a movie, sometimes I just end up walking in fucking circles until I stop thinking. But I’m pretty sure that whatever shit you were doing just now was something else. If it’s so important to you that you want to make some crazy-ass deal with me over it, you can at least tell me what it is.”

Logan didn’t like where this was headed but if it will make Remus understand, then he may as well try. He didn’t have much else to lose tonight, after all.

“Sometimes I need to de-stress, and this helps. I know that if anyone were to see me like this it would only lead to more ridicule, so I try to ensure a certain level of privacy.” Logan explained, not looking at Remus. He probably looked pathetic right now, a foolish mess that’s for some reason still wearing his damn unicorn onesie and probably has jam all over his face as well.

“Huh.”

“What?” Logan asked, finally looking up at Remus’ face.

“So those jokes really do something to you after all, then? Here I thought you only got all pissy when no one gave you any attention, but you actually don’t like the nicknames either.”

Logan felt like kicking himself. As if Remus catching him in his onesie was bad enough, now he also knows another weak spot for future torment.

“Please keep the jokes to a minimum around the others,” he begged. “at least regarding this. If they were to find out about me acting this childishly, I’d never hear the end of it.”

Remus smiled back at him. Strangely enough, this smile wasn’t mocking, or devious, or carrying an underlying tone of amusement at Logan's misfortune. It was genuine.

“Don’t sweat it, nerd,” he said with a dismissive wave. “If it bothers you that much then I guess I’ll keep my lips sealed. On one condition though.”

Logan tensed immediately. “What condition would that be?”

“Invite me to the next one, of course,” he said, bouncing lightly on the couch. “Oh, and let me stick around for the rest of tonight too, however long you’re planning on staying up for.”

Logan didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Why?”

“Well, wandering around an empty house at night eventually gets boring,” he explained. “Not to mention kinda lonely sometimes. If you’ll let me chill out with you like this every now and then, I’ll not tell anyone about it. You’d better keep wearing that onesie though, it’s a fun look on you. Or you can wear nothing at all, that works just as fine.”

Logan took a moment to process this. Sure, there very well could be the chance that Remus is tricking him, but he seems so sincere about this that he couldn’t help but want to believe it. If he were being honest about this potential arrangement, it wasn’t the worst deal anyway.

“You promise not to tell anyone, and ideally not to mock me about this either?” he asked.

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Remus said, drawing an X over his heart as he spoke.

Logan sighed. He hoped he didn’t regret this in the future. “Fine. But if you change your mind and betray my trust, I will never forgive you.”

Remus eagerly nodded, extending a hand still covered in peanut butter. “Shake on it, then?”

Logan tried not to cringe at the idea. “I’ll just take your word on it this time.”

Remus shrugged, licking his hands clean before grabbing the remote and putting on Doctor Who. Logan nearly chuckled to himself at that, conceding that the deal may work out in his favor.

@keitaisghost @yuckypuppie @britt-ish123 @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @new-zee-land @can-i-take-a-stab

[violentviolette]

genuinely nothing i hate more these days than the word "supply"

"narcissists need supply" "npd is the need for supply" "how to get supply" "what to do when u have no supply" ect ect into infinity. it's so unbelievably ableist and othering and disingenuous and the more i see other ppl with npd adopting this language the worse and worse its getting

"supply" is not some unique need that only we have. it's validation. it's attention. it's acknowledgment. its feeling valued and wanted and seen. it's a human need that literally everyone on earth has and requires for healthy mental stability. it's why isolation is considered torture for humans. but calling it "supply" as a shorthand because u dont want to write out all those specific words is a horrendous decision that only adds to pathologizing ur entire self and worsening ur disorder

the reasons people with npd seek out that normal human need in unhealthy and maladaptive ways and cannot generate those feelings internally is what makes things different for us. abuse means we were never taught how to properly develop healthy feelings and skills surrounding those base needs because they were used against us and exploited in abusive ways. thats what makes the way we seek it out and our inability to cope with its lack disordered symptoms. but the thing we are seeking, the validation and attention and acknowledgement, is not some "other" thing that only narcissists need and needing those things at all is not what means u have npd. npd is not at all, in any way, "the need for supply" and to say so is being hugely ablest.

there's been this trend of taking ablest language and stigma's against us because narc abuse ppl have flooded the lexicon with these terms and so they're the most well known and putting positive language around it and just using it like it's fact devoid of any critical thought or nuance. u see it with supply, with malignant or covert and overt narcissism, narc rage, ect. like. this stuff is othering and ablist and stigmatizing af at best and flat out incorrect at worst. there is no way to meaningfully reclaim that language and use it to describe our experience

the push to use buzzword language and label every emotion had by a cluster b with a Moniker does absolutely nothing to actually help ppl with these disorders better understand and learn to cope with them and in fact is actively harmful and patholigizing. u stop engaging with the actual real specific things ur feeling because u stop naming them, u put distance between the uncomfortable truth and urself by slapping a title on it and not fully engaging with it. all the while othering urself and ur needs. ur now no longer just a person with specific needs ur a "narcissist who needs supply" which gets watered down and misunderstood until everyone has a different meaning of the words and u cant have a useful conversation about peoples problems and struggles and the support they need

people with cluster b disorders are normal people. we are human beings. the emotions we experience, even the disordered ones, are human emotions that everyone is capable of. our needs are normal human needs that everyone has. the specifics of them will be different, the exact how and when and why will be different. lots of it will be disordered and unhealthy and incorrect by nature and need to be reevaluated or relearned or adjusted. but the core base emotions and needs that we have are *normal and human*

[fixfoxnox]

Headcanons on how Jackson deals with past life memories? Or any triggers he may have?

Love love love offering Paul Jackson headcanons for you guys, especially sito heacanons!

How Jackson Copes

Art of Jackson was done by the amazing @meralasan so if you haven't already, please go check them out!

Warnings: Discussion of ptsd, implied self harm, alcoholism, phantom pains

I've talked about it a bit before, but Jackson and Roach had one major key difference in being reborn.

Roach never told anyone about his memories, whereas Jackson tried to tell everyone

When Jackson was old enough to talk he would try to tell his parents and his siblings. They all just thought he was a kid with an overactive and very dark imagination. None of them believed him.

None of them but Jackson's grandmother.

She was an older woman who realized while listening to her grandson that he knew a lot more then any kid with just an active imagination would.

Because of this, Jackson actually had someone in his corner who he could talk to about his past life, and this is something that helped him work through a lot of the issues that were still weighing at Roach when they met.

Thats not to say Jackson was free of everything, but he was doing much better coping then Roach was with the change.

Where they were similar is in their desire to get back to some semblance of normalcy. For Jackson that was returning to the military.

It certainly wasn't a healthy way to cope, and over his time he realized that things would never really be how they once were.

That's what hit him really hard and caused a lot of problems for him. And reminders of his past life because a bit problem.

Generally speaking, for a while he didn't really make any progress. He was sort of stuck in a rut where he just did everything in his power not to think of his past life. This included on several occasions getting himself drunk to help ease the pain of memories.

Certainly not a good way to cope, but one that he did pick up for a bit. That was until Griggs and Roach realized that he'd developed a bit of a problem.

He was sent to mandatory therapy where they essentially worked to help him get through the drinking problem. It worked in helping Jackson find better and healthier distractions, like sewing and embroidery (both skills he picked up from his grandma)

When Jackson lost his leg, he took the opportunity to leave the military. It wasn't helping him and he realized that by staying he was just holding himself back from healing.

Jackson started getting tattoos as a form of self expression. It was suggested by his brother who is a tattoo artist and honestly helped Jackson a lot.

There were months after Jackson left the military where he had extremely low moments. Moments of calling Roach so that someone would be on the phone with him to keep him from doing something he would regret.

Eventually he turned those impulses toward the tattoos. Any time he found his mind going down that path, he'd call his brother and set up an appointment.

Working out also helped him. Keeping his mind and body active and working up his adrenaline was a good way to help him transfer from military to civvy life.

Really Jackson just had an amazing support system that helped his transfer go a lot smoother and helped him get on his feet. So by the time Roach rejoins the 141, Jackson is doing extremely well

Of course he's still dealing with ptsd from both of his lifes and the occasional, though much less often then when he first lost his leg, phantom pains from his leg.

But he does pretty good. The only major low point he ends up having is when he hits 27 and has officially outlived his first life.

He has a full spiral this day and Roach ends up finding him drunk out of his mind and throwing and trying to destroy anything military related in his house.

After that incident, he goes back to therapy and, in the end, finds himself doing much better then he ever has by the time everything happens with Roach and Makarov.

As for Jackson's triggers:

Loud noises can be pretty bad for him, especially right after he lost his leg. I feel like he probably has some hearing loss from the explosion, so anything that is actually loud enough to get past the hearing loss probably fucks with him a lot

In the realm of loud noises, its pretty common for him to have in headphones or earplugs of some sort to just help take the edge of things off.

Intense heat. If its too hot outside he genuinely has to stay inside, otherwise the sun on his skin will freak him out. Similarly he really really hates having a fever because the heat freaks him out. All of this is from when he died in the nuke

Absolute no no to planes and choppers. He'll sooner swim somewhere then try to get on a plane. It definitely caused some problems when he rejoined the military, and several times when he was forced into a plane, Roach had to help him through panic attacks.

Throwing up. All he can think about as he's heaving is is first life and feeling blood and bile forced from his throat as he crawled out of that crashed plane. Of seeing his friends choking on their own blood as they died.

Also something rather simple, but Jackson struggles a lot with anything burnt. Burnt smells all smell mostly the same to him, and all his nose picks up is the smell of burning flesh from after the nuke. Anything gets burnt and Jackson is like to be dry heaving in the yard within a few minutes which only triggers him further.

Another simple thing, but any sort of news network is pretty hard for Jackson to watch. If he isn't fully focused, he finds that the voices become blurred in his head and before long all his mind will hear is that stupid broadcast that Al Asad had going while he and the other USMC boys tried to find him.

[lycanr0t]

something ive been thinking about all day is how autistic characters are never allowed to have their autistic traits be negative. I don't mean in a "this person is evil/bad bc theyre displaying an autistic trait" way, i mean like... sometimes for instance a character may not know they are autistic, they may be a generally bad person with flawed views and ableist mindset. They may also be autistic, but do not have any healthy coping skills and their general life experience means the way they cope with negative emotions is via being a bad person (directly abusive or otherwise).

whenever characters who are bad people get headcanoned as autistic for example, the autistic traits are always generally nonthreatening and cute in their portrayal. something like a special interest or flapping. Its never like. this character has immense sensory issues they do not know about and being overstimulated makes them lash out because they do not know whats wrong and certainly dont know how to deal with it in a healthy way.

its challenging really. because of course there are very real ableist stereotypes and tropes that one wouldnt want to play into, but i do think that there should be space to explore these things in a way that accepts that not all autistic ppl are good people and. they will still behave like an autistic person and have autistic traits. you cant separate that from them. and thats worth exploring.

[rin-and-jade]

How does someone know the difference between being a system or just having a really fluid/unstable personality/identity? like In bpd or in any way

In the eyes of the inexperienced, this really is a tough job to know wether a person is a system, or just having an unstable foundation of self (bpd) but thankfully for you, I know how. As a system myself who is a bpd holder, with another friend i have with bpd itself,, i will give you this comprehensively detailed (but compacted) answer:

Am i a system?:

There are some highlights that shows someone is one by having a plethora amount of dissociative symptoms, constant shift in identity, unexplainable memory gaps, people seeing them as inconsistent within various aspects (likes and dislikes, etc), places felt unfamiliar, caught yourself having different accents and handwritings and even walking, feels like you are not control in your body, alters as voices that are consistent with it’s own opinions and preferences.

Do i have bpd?:

While it looks similar when compared by a system, there are some different features it represents itself by unable to be consistent due to not having any genuine value in preference and etc, constantly influenced by other people, have episodes of identity crisis, needing comfort from people, constantly unhappy with its current self, devalues itself thinking it is unworthy of any kindness, fear connections, have a high degree of distrust, lives up to the motto: “i am the problem”, highly likely being passive aggressive and isolating due to no healthy social skills, black and white thinking, can have episodes of “im the best”. The similarities that it can have from systems can be seen by some form of dissociation and or anger issues to cope as well as negative voices.

Do i have both?!:

You absolutely can and thats the least wanted option i could wish for yet still unlucky enough to draw this lottery.. anyway, this is a bonus answer. Be it a holder (like me, which means no one else is affected and im jealous af) or in the genes (the collective is affected) i doubt it has any difference so from my perspective, it can look as having dissociative symptoms as well as cognitive dissonance, obviously have alters, more likely to split due to the nature of bpd’s constant distress and questioning (yeah its a thing, thats me right there), also a general sense of distrust especially due to severe trauma, obsessive with Favorite Person, tend to always rely on someone in filling their needs or helped due to 0 independence (it might be different for others, maybe the opposite by trying to be super self sufficient), still have identity confusion, poor memory alongside with gaps. Basically overlaps the two as the general idea but i did some examples, its not the whole list because its way too many..

Nonetheless, this might still be helpful to you as i believe,, this is my own view of what is a system and or bpd so im still reccomending you to do extra research, and goodluck in doing so! (Im sorry for not writing the whole thing)

- j

[shinobufied]

Male gamers gotta be the weakest, whiniest, most annoying people of all time. 

They see that Ghost suddenly gets a giant burst of interest after mw2′s release (mostly from girls) which also automatically causes the sales of the game to skyrocket and instead of using that opportunity to talk about the lore and complexity of the character that they supposedly love so much they start crying because “nooooOooooO ghost is a cold emotionless badass killer he doesn’t smile >:(” (because apparently thats how humans work in their eyes?). They complain about the girls not gEtTing hIm because they think he’s hot and therefore not get his writing when THEYRE the ones projecting their weird toxic masculinity views onto him, completey ignoring his writing and also lacking the emotional intelligence and literary analysis skills to properly analyse any character whatsoever. 

They whine about the 2 recent God of War games because they miss the old, brutal Kratos that went around slaughtering people with no second thought. They complain because the “wokefied” him and apparently “weakened” him when they completely ignore the beautiful writing behind the 2 games. When you listen to them the recent games ruined his character and contains horrible writing while in reality the two recent games created such an amazingly written character arc for him. They didn’t ruin him, they fleshed him out even more, made him a proper character with proper inside conflicts who faces the consequences of his actions, learns to heal properly and how to deal with his conflicts in a proper healthy manner. 

That’s how you write a decent character, it’s so well executed and they’re still not happy. 

Because “nooooOOoooo Kratos just slaughters everyone and is bloody, he doesn’t care u ruined him and made him soft. >:(” Which, again, is just their weird projection of toxic masculinity onto a character and I could probably go into detail, theorizing that that’s probably their way of coping with the toxic expectations for them in society but that would blow this post out of proportion. 

All I have to say is: 

No, it’s not the stupid girls on the internet creating silly fanart of your favourite character or leftism that ruins your favourite media. They don’t ruin writing and make it unenjoyable. It’s you that has unresolved issues and should sit down and ask yourself why you’re so mad that your favourite “sigma” is showing emotions and dealing with them. It’s you that should question why your favourite character being associated with femininity is making you so upset. 

Maybe you should pause to actually read and learn about the characters you supposedly love so much, I promise you’ll find yourself happier and much more at peace. 

[starboydreamy]

if you can just live one more day thats enough

if you can look forward to one thing and live for that one thing no matter how big or small thats enough

also youre allowed to use your coping skills no matter what (as long as theyre somewhat healthy) if it helps do it if it helps make things a little better do it

[tosxah]

12. what is your muse’s most helpful coping skill, healthy or unhealthy?

random head canon asks

It's probably no surprise but killing or fishing. Killing for fun, for entertainment and also to relieve stress. Fishing to relax. I wonder if its because it gives him control. I'm possibly wrong but I dont think we see childe exhibiting any other skill than killing (and cooking).

sorry i go on a slight tangent about his trauma below?? thats kind of relevant???

Maybe it makes him feel like he can relive his time in the abyss as a child over and over again, the time in his life where he possibly went from some kid in a village to the youngest harbinger who was still just a teenager, he met skirk, he learnt to fight. It changed his life but I do believe it gave him a lot of trauma. PTSD doesnt always come in flash backs, sometimes it can present it self as self destructive nature where the person is trying to capture that experience to understand it better. Childe has had a very very unique experience, I wonder if he tries to understand why by doing the same thing over and over, by fighting and killing.

[vadvis]

prev reblog actually read some more of what op was saying in the replies and something something about integration being "necessary" for healing and some bullshit called "final fusion" being the goal? stand by what i said before hope they get the fuck outta whatever communities theyre getting fed this bs from. integration therapy is horrifically retraumatizing and there is an almost absolute zero chance to experience something like "final fusion" unless you start when youre like. probably below 10 yrs old? before you hit certain developmental milestones surely. not to syscourse post in 2024 but the hell you all saying talking about "fusion" like this is dragon ball be serious for a sec. "functional multiplicity" i have dissociative identity disorder. just say living with DID. like you would with any other disorder. swear to god people treat this shit like there's a "correct" way to live with it or something. honestly looking deeper at the replies on that post i kinda get a different picture painted that this person might just be REALLY pro integration and stepped on some toes in anti integration spaces. which can and should exist imo. again. its an intensive form of therapy that i have never personally known anyone to go through "healed" in any way, just retraumatized with different dissociative experiences. christ man. symptom management and healthy coping skills thats all it is dude stop treating this disorder like you need to cure it or that its even *curable* in the first place. this is long now but man i did NOT realize people with this sort of mentality still existed. hope op finds some healthier social circles