#thats genuinely all i have to look forward to in life
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Do I want better? Yes
Do I deserve it? No
#so here ill stay until i finally get the sweet release of death#thats genuinely all i have to look forward to in life#thats the only thing i am currently looking forward to#and im engaged#and having a house built#but i feel so far detached from it all#i just want to kill myself#there's nothing else i want#just death
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#delete later#every week is the same as the last. i need it to change. please#and not in a worse way again. i need it to change for the positive. please.#im going to be in my hometown in a week. i dont want to. but i need to. i dont wantttt to. i wont have a living situation sorted and#they're going to be weird about it and i don't have the ability to field that stuff positively bc all my positive thinking is going into#not having a breakdown so its gonna fucking suck. and im sngry and feel guilty im not moving closer but i caaaaaant without#things getting way worse mentally but i feel terrible about it bc i feel like i dont have an excuse for living so far away now#even though i dont NEED an excuse but i wish i had one. and im not allowed to die which is fucking annoying but its still working#as a coping mechanism so thats fine. im also. really upset that the insect thing ive been looking forward to for months i cant do.#it feels like a real kick in the face for wanting something. it was like my one thing to be excited for when everything felt#like it was falling apart abd then things fell nore apart and instead of insect joy im going to visit family and bask in that pool of grief#so. that's great. its just shit. and the only emotion i currently have access to is frustration and a bit of grief so thats also#not ideal. and im both dissociating so much and am painfully present which is a fun combo. shit just sucks abd theres no way out#currently. so i gotta go through it but im bad at that so im just miserable. might try to figure out a way to get the weoghted blanket#to hometown bc going without it is going to fuckinh suvk big time#i also need to have a hard conversation with someone who is way more into me than im into them rn. idk whether its bc i cant#access emotions rn or a genuine thing so im gonna have to communicate this bc otherwise it feels like im leading her on abd thats#shit. see thats one thing that is solidly in my court. like thats a my fault thing. everything else is just a shit situation#god life sucks sometimes. my mum always said things come in threes. i think im up to like thing five at this point
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost
#rat rambles#oni posting#like I guess I just rly love that oni both manages to commit to being a tragedy while also leaving a world still in motion#like Im glad that olivia didnt get a bittersweet ending and instead got a fucking miserable one#while at the same time the dupes are still left there to keep moving forward#well ok more so I like how the narrative shifts into smth quite beautiful when seen from the dupes perspectives#which is also why I like that the dupes are rarely talked abt directly in the lore logs#idk I just feel like a seed is planted wouldnt hit as hard to me if the dupes were talked abt more#its the same sort of incedental storytelling that I like abt the rest of oni's writing ig#also I just think them being a major part of the lore logs would rly take away from the greater horrors and tragedies of gravitas#like idk I think it would have been a lot more boring if a third of the logs were just jackie going so yeah I tortured dupes some more#it makes the pre end of the world world feel so much bigger while still mostly remaining within gravitas itself#enhances the feeling of glimpsing into a past world#like every now and then I think abt what oni story could have looked like and am filled with joy at what it is now#I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good#it honestly makes me almost wish there wouldnt be new lore but I do think theres room for more#as in theres plenty of room to make shit up and also we need to see more of the scientists pls#as for actual quote unquote plot stuff idk just give me like one jackie and olivia college year video transcript or smth and we're good#theres other stuff that make me lose my mind but for narrative consistency I think itd be best to not touch those two too much#especially olivia I rly think she doesnt need almost any new content the only stuff Id want with her is if it expanded upon jackie#because rly jackie is the only character I think would super heavily benefit from elaboration even if I stand by her not needing much#as Ive said a billion times just smth small to show us her in a more casual setting and we're golden I think#show me that woman being genuinely happy so I can fill in the blanks as she slowly gets crushed by the consequences of her actions#shes a part of this tragedy too and god damnit I want to see the life she ruined along the way of ruining many others#I want to see a woman whos eyes once shined and then when the lights have dulled I want her to say it was worth it with no conviction#metaphorically ofc I dont actually want to see most of it because thatd go against the narrative philosophy already established#rly all this means is I wanna see jackie and olivia doing laundry together or smth#oh also I hope they specifically give otto a whole other log just to clear up my pronoun woes#idc what its abt just have them talk abt their gender offhand or smth#just mi-ma being like how do you do young man and otto is like they and mi-ma is like ah yes young they
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── ˙✧°📷 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚! 3 (𝙏𝙥𝙖𝙛𝙡 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙗𝙡𝙚)
Drabble three! of Torn pictures and frozen lenses couple!
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content: fluff, comfort, period pain, crying, cuddles, Jungkook being a softie
note from cherry: i'm obsessed with this couple rn and i got my period today soo thats the inspo.
I need to be held by koo so bad :,(
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8 full hours of Jungkook working go by extremly slow on days he wouldn't be seeing you in the hallways,
This morning you'd stayed in bed due to feeling sick and dizzy, he let you sleep with a kiss to your forhead
The drive back home, all he was looking forward to after a long exhausting day was seeing you, quietly winding down together
Instead, he'd open the door to you curled up on the couch, stuffed hello kitty clutched in your arms,
"Baby?" He sighs, swiftly taking off his shoes and coat, crouching down in front of the couch
Upon further inspection on your bundled up form, you laid there in his hoodie, tears streaming down your pretty, sleepy face
"hey kook" you sniffle, wiping your tears with a small smile,
He knew exactly what was wrong, all the signs pointing towards it,
"Come here..my poor little lady, your period came right?" he speaks into your hair softly once managing to get on to the couch, pulling you into his lap,
His head nuzzles into your hair, big palms stroking your back, pressing you against his chest
You nod, completely burned out from the pain of your cramps, reaching all the way to your lower back, the pouding headache you have only worsening from having cried so much
"Its alright, come on i'll hold you"
"i missed you" you sniffle again, pressing your head into his chest and inhaling his sweet masculine scent
He humms, "i missed you too, its so boring without my favorite bad student" joking at that, he knew full well how much you improved, having spent hours together
He did miss you though, a lot
However, from the sound of your increased sniffling he could tell that this wasn't the right time,
Not at all
"you think im so stupid don't you?" you cry softly into his chest, feeling so overcome by anger and sadness,
His heart clenches a little; guilt quickly catching up to him
His hand moves to the back of your head, caressing your head so carefully,
The other one lifts you by your chin, making you look at him through sad teary eyes
"Shh i´m sorry baby i´m sorry.. i didn´t mean it, i was just joking. You're so smart baby.. i´m sorry" his gentle voice is accompanied by the many kisses he places all over your face
A small but sincere smile creeping up to your face immediately
"Hmm okay" you giggle and he smiles too, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and index finger
The rapid change of emotions almost making him giggle aswell,
What a cute mess he has got.
"Come on, let me get this pretty girl into bed"
quickly you're clinging on to him like your life depens on it, with a kiss to your temple he lays you down into the comfy, pillowy sheets,
Wrapping his arms around you from behind to sneak his hands on your lower tummy, pressing and caressing there to sooth the pain with pressure,
"Thank you kook" you say, stoking his arm,
He responds by placing a kiss to your hair, then moving his head down to rest on your shoulder,
"Did you eat? Want me to make you a nice sweet treat?" his suggestion sounds so good, not haven eaten all day because of feeling genuinely sick, too dizzy to even do anything other than to lay down,
"Couldn't yet.. but, please do.. that would be so nice" you hum, turning your head to kiss him lovingly,
He takes the kiss, smiling into it while continuing to massage your lower tummy,
"let me take care of you pretty, just lay here and look cute while you wait" he winks, hugging you tight and pressing a last, long kiss to your lips before standing up from the bed
#jungkook x reader#redcherrykook#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook fluff#bts fanfic#bts jungkook
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
#dune#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#chani kynes#jessica atreides#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#rabban harkonnen#vladimir harkonnen#stilgar#alia atreides#irulan corrino#im so crazy im so feral holy shit#okay im going to bed now#its 1 am lmao#ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back
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just a short smut fic about Leon bc I have history tomorrow and I am about to explode i need to get my mind off of it!! no thoughts about history just Leon !!!
warnings: none! just pure smut with fem!reader
topic: thigh worship bc!! thighs!! i love thighs!! chubby skinny thin toned soft thick IDC i love thighs. so does leon he told me that himself !!!!! Leon Kennedy loves eating you out thats it thats the plot
Leon is a sucker for thighs. He loves thighs. Worships thighs. Could spend hours on your thighs, sleeping on them, kissing them,
but his favorite thing is being between your thighs <3
Leon is a messy eater. You found that long time ago. No matter his mood or energy level — it always ends up messy. Now, Leon has his beloved way of eating you out.
Face sitting
When Leon proposed this idea at first, he was a bit shy, just a bit. His first words were “suffocating between your thighs would be a way to go I wouldn’t complain about.” with that smirk of his. Took a bit to actually get you to sit on him like he’s a damn chair, ended up with him pulling you all the way down, but you’re sitting, so that’s what matters!
When you sat on his face, he thought he’s in heaven. Grows pussydrunk so fast, doesn’t care about his thick cock throbbing in his pants, growls when you try to touch it because why aren’t you focusing on his tongue !! (he ends up cumming in his pants in the end btw)
Slurps, sucks, kisses, nibbles — he LOVES (your) pussy. Leon is a (your) pussy lover. He moans like a damn whore when you grind against him. Sometimes he wraps his hands around your thighs to make you grind against him, eating you so passionately he forgets about the world outside <3 He just loves being used by you!! that’s his life dream!!
“That’s it baby, best pussy in the whole world, lovin’ it s’ much, god,” the crack in his voice is just.. chefs kiss. Sometimes it feels like Leon talks to your pussy instead to you, but you know he loves you as much !!
He doesn’t stop even when you cum, he has to pull out at least two orgasms out of you before he even considers letting you go.
“Cmon.. baby, just one more, know you can do it,” He mumbles between the sucks. He says it for the third time today. You end up completely fucked dumb by his tongue <3 But when he finally stops, he always ends the session with a small press to your clit,
“Sorry baby, not my fault you taste too good.”
Obviously the session doesn’t end there though. Now it’s his time. But not before he presses soft, loving kisses to your thighs, marking them up, gripping them so possessively but still gently. When he’s satisfied with the sight, he finally takes his pants off and lets his cock spring out, hard and leaking for you <3
But no, he doesn’t fuck your pussy. He knows you’re overstimulated! He’s not that cruel!! But he fucks your thighs. Damn, your thighs, he just loves them. He presses your thighs together — he LOVES and lives for the sight of it. And then puts his dick in front of those soft legs, guiding himself between your thighs before finally pushing forward, letting out the loudest whine you heard.
“Shit, s’good, goddamn, you were made for me,“ He genuinely starts babbling, just as fucked dumb as you are. Moving his hips lazily but desperately, covering your inner thighs with his precum. And when he finally cums on your thighs and pulls away, he turns you around and just stares at the art work he made. to him, the sight of your thighs covered in his seed is a damn piece of art.
“Princess, can I take a photo? Looks so pretty, all mine,”
He ends up taking a photo of your thighs like this, his hand resting there and gently squishing the soft flesh, as if marking you as his. You just know he’s gonna jerk his damn soul off to that photo when you’re not around.
End! Phew, that took a minute. I have a history test tomorrow, I will scream my lungs out. Wish me luck or smth </3
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil#resident evil smut#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy smut
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YOU. YOU GET IT
I think a reason I dont particularly like the first Xmas episode was bc they tried to make fry seem selfish for being upset about his family being gone, like I know it was more about how leela was an orphan who also grew up completely alone and alienated but jeez dude let the man be sad about spending the holidays with no family aside from Farnsworth
That aside the final part of that episode where its revealed his mother was dreaming about him? Fucking heartbreaking dude, that episode is one of my favorites. I forget its name but the episode about fry's dad and the common cold also hurts, maybe not as much. Futurama is a silly show but when it wants to make you sad it really hits you where it hurts.
So real on game of tones being sadder than jurassic bark, jurassic bark made me mildly sad but game of tones really dug into fry's loss and it ripped my heart out
Why's it always the fry episodes man 😔
Every character gets their one “big sad” but Fry is the only one who truly can’t reclaim what he lost. Leela had a terrible childhood but she eventually gets to reconnect with her family, Bender gets to forget about his son, etc.
But Fry can’t have his family back. And his family can’t have him back. And they don’t pull punches when reminding you that Fry’s family never even found out what happened to to him. While I don’t think Jurassic Bark is the sadder than his family members all grieving him in their own ways and Fry grieving the family he’ll never see again, the saddest scene in that episode is the one where his dog attempts to drag his family to where he’s frozen and it doesn’t work.
Everyone else can find a sense of closure in tragedy. But all Fry can do is pick himself up and move on, which always manages to do with a smile on his face after some well deserved tears. Dude Fry trying to run into his home in Game of Tones after being pulled away from the last memory he had of his family, only for it to be gone because he has no more memory of them after that moment is gutting. It’s great!
#fry is such a good fucking character. like genuinely#hes just so silly and fun but also so profoundly sad#imagine you go about your normal day in your empty life and then wake up 1000 years later with the realization that everyone youve ever#loved died centuries ago. and now you're in this completely new and unfamiliar world with absolutely no one even remotely familiar#fry was ALONE alone. he has every reason to grieve and hurt but the show doesnt dwell on it too much and thats perfect#he gets his happy ending. he deserves his happy ending. he gets a full and happy life with people who love him#the future feels like the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him#ive spoken too much im sorry i just absolutely love futurama its one of my favorite shows#another episode that i dont think was really meant to be sad but is sad anyways is the one where they go forwards in time looking for a#backwards time machine#and they just travel to the end of the universe and essentially experience exactly what fry experienced#and i know its not that deep but something about having to keep going foward in time until it all resets#because they couldnt go backwards#its not really their original group. like if you think about it this new universe doesnt have our original leela or hermes or amy#they died millions of years ago ans these guys are new#anyways ill shut up now sorry
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Chapter One The Bear & His Honey
Summary: Carmy + Winnie meet, He obviously tries to weasel his way into her heart by cooking for her.
A/N: Eeeep! I am sooo excited to be writing again, i've written fic's since like 2010 & stopped for quite a while, But Carmen has awoken the beast in me once more LOL !!! It's not without much thanks and love to @daysofyellowroses - Her encouragement & excitement for my ideas has inspired me in the most beautiful way. Give her a follow please! Her fic's genuinely are sososooooooo good that they made me want to start writing myself again, The theme and overall organization of her works is immaculate, I admire her works so much! I highly encourage any Carmy lover to take a look!! She is also such a doll!! And so so sooo sweet!!!
Anyhow, I love longer fics - this chapter is nearing 6k words & it initially started as a one shot, so reader be warned I am very wordy!
Warnings; Cursing, ehh I think thats it? Oh! Smoking Cigarettes & The green stuff, but thats all! *We will be getting VERY spicy, angsty, and sickeningly fluffy in this story - if that isn't your cup, ask me anything if you like my style! I am only writing for Carm at this second, but I will be writing ACOTAR & likely other things as I wet my pallate - it's been years for me, but if you have an idea that you want to throw my way, or just wanna talk (even if you just need someone!) I'm here for you peeps! Without further ado- let the show begin.
(Comments + Reblogs + Kind critiques are not only appreciated, but heavily encouraged!)
𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!
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One
I took a deep breath, the dry, late winter air sticking my nostrils together momentarily- fuck. I hate this god-damned weather. I shuffle across the street, my boots mushing through the late-winter Chicago slush. I slosh into the alley, my boots squelching with every step. I trudge across the street, nearly gagging at every soggy step, feeling my socks ever so slowly become wet.
I sludge my way finally to the (god-blessed, shoveled) alley across the way, that connected The Next Page to the street in front of it, and hear a muttered “fuck” & my eyes lift from the locked spot on my salty, wet boots. They meet the side-profile of an undeniably handsome curly dirty blonde male, my eyes rolling, as he pats his pockets down. I assume he forgot his light.
As I approached him, I piped up. “Missin’ somethin’?” I flick my pink lighter to life with my thumb, My eyes meeting his large blue ones. He leans forward, gently lighting his cigarette between my thumb and the flame. “Thanks” he muttered, sucking on the cigarette between his lips, his eyes locked on me.
“Y’ smoke?” he questioned. I shook my head gently, “Not cigarettes, but I’m bout’ to eat, s’why not?” I slipped the small tin from my pocket, pulling a shorty from the box. I put it between my lips, leaning in close, touching the joint tip to the burning end of his cigarette gently, and took a slow drag once it was fully lit.
“Work here?” I motion at the building next to us with my chin, smoke spilling from my lips as I speak. His white t-shirt made me guess he could be a line cook or a bus boy at the restaurant that had been crowding the block the past few months. He nodded, a large puff of smoke leaving his lips, the edges of his lips upturning a bit into a smile.
“Mhmm, own it.” he said casually, taking another drag, my eyebrows raising. “Hmm,” I hummed, smoke puffing from my nose obviously in the winter air. “Wow, from the shirt- thought you’re a busboy, quite the humble owner mm’?” I teased, a smile dancing on my lips as I pulled another puff of my joint. “Yea- guess so” he teased, shrugging lightly.
“My boss comes by once in a blue moon, so either you’re a grade-A asshole, or have crippling OCD and you think your business is gonna fail.” I teased, blowing smoke past his left as I leaned against the brick wall. He chuckled, “Alright, well- Sugar says I’m OCD whatever the fuck that means, so you got me” he shrugged. I laughed. “I can so see it, what’s your name?” I asked.
His eyes flutter to my lips, before meeting my eyes again. “Carmen.” He replied, putting his cigarette back to his lips and taking a deep drag. “Winnie..” I replied nibbling the inside of my lip gently. Carmen. Carmen. Carmen. The word echoed in my mind like an invocation. “Winnie” he repeated, smoke spilling from his lips in tendrils.
“Full name?” He questioned. A heat rose to my cheeks and I rolled my eyes, gaze flicking to my sneakers as I took another drag of my joint. “Winnow. Shut up, if you laugh, I’ll cut off your dick. My parents were never married, not sure what they were thinking.” I mutter, the tips of my ears heating in embarrassment. “Mmm” he hummed.
I look back up at him, “No slick comments?” I asked, genuinely surprised. He shrugged. “Winnow is pretty, people make fun of that?” He questioned, dropping the mostly burnt cigarette to the ground and crushing it with his chef's clog. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. “A dude named Carmen, not used t’ people pokin’ at your name?” my glance meets his.
His arms were now crossed over his chest, his delicious biceps becoming more prominent. “Go by Carm, mostly” he shrugged. Carm. “Hmm.” I hummed. “Carm. Suits you.” I said, my eyes grazing over the tattoos adorning his arms. “Yeah?” his tongue grazed his lips, a smirk pulling at the corners.
“Mhhmm” I reach out, my finger brushing over the ‘773’ on his arm. “From ‘round here huh?” I questioned, my eyes meeting his blue ones once more. “Ye’, east side” he said, to which I nodded. “Sorry, don’t know too much, from New York.” I said, my arms crossing over my own chest.
“Yeah? Where about? Did culinary school out there.” he replied. “Rochester” I nod, my accent coming out slightly. “Ah, alright. Like yourself a garbage plate?” he teased. I laughed, a real laugh, something few and far between these days. “Wow, so you really went to school out there eh’? I do actually, know how that came to?” I asked my fingers finding a loose string on my jacket to fiddle with.
“Not at all, thought it was a myth- you really eat that shit out there?” he joked. I giggled. “Don’t make me hit you, Yes! We do, so story goes, frat guys stumble all drunk in to Nick Tahoes, and they tell the line cook to give ‘em the plate with ‘all the garbage’ on it. And so, since it was closing time, they took all the carby leftovers they were gonna throw out, and threw em on a plate- the guys loved it” he grimaced playfully “eugh! Guys never heard of a burger?”
I laughed again “there is a burger, Carm! mmm,” I hum my eyes closing and head falling back at the memory of such a comfort meal. “oh my god, mac salad, cold! Has to be cold, Carm, then you do baked beans,” I paused at his brows furrowing “Don’t look at me like that, asshole” I shove his shoulder playfully, earning a chuckle.
“No- nope keep on explaining your… catastrophe” he teased, I gasped, feigning a shot to the heart. “Wow, Carmy, you know how to flatter a girl huh? Insulting the indigenous dish of her homeland?!” I joked, causing him to really laugh. A beautiful sound I wanted to hear more often. “Ok, ok, so then you add the homefries, then - the house chilli, ohhh my god!” I groaned my head falling back “Soo, so good, then, you add on a burger patty, or a hotdog, or both if you feel frisky” he laughed again, his eyes crinkling adorably.
“How often do you feel frisky mm? Or are you a more tame girl?” he teased. I smacked the side of his jaw gently with a large bashful smile adorning my lips, “Carmen! You do not ask a lady how often she gets frisky!” I giggled, poking his muscular chest gently. “Ok, ok, keep going- or is that the end of the abomination?” he questioned and I dug my knuckle into his chest playfully.
“Nope!! Then you add chopped onions, ketchup, and mustard!!” I grinned and he grimaced jokingly. “Holy Jesus, your breath could knock out an army after that I’d bet” he teased earning another true laugh from me. “I swear, you own his place? If you thought you were busy before- add a garbage plate to the menu, and you’ll be rich, Carmen” I adjusted the Saint Anthony chain around his neck gently, so the pendant was facing front.
His cheeks got a bit flushed. “Well, i’m makin’ a new dessert menu, if you wanted to come in and check it out, How bout’ I make you a garbage plate, well, the Carmen-Garbage plate, we don’t do chilli here, but I think you’ll like what I pull together” he offered.
I took another drag of my joint, contemplating. “Alright. Shops been slow today so, Mel won’t notice if I sneak an extra few minutes in” i put out the nub on the wall, before dropping it and crushing it under the toe of my boot.
“C’mon” he nods, pulling open the large metal door that leads into the kitchen.
Read Chapter 2 Here!
#The Bear#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto#carmy berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#the bear hulu fanfiction#jeremy allen white#jeremy allen white fanfiction#carmy berzatto x oc#carmen berzatto fluff#carmen berzatto smut#carmy berzatto smut#the bear fic#the bear fx#carmy#im so scared pls tell me if this is any good LOL#thank you for reading ily#you are amazing never forget it
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Here is part 5 of me watching all the x-men movies in order with commentary from when I was texting my friend about it
fifth: dark phoenix
(ps i was told not to watch it but i made a commitment, I WILL watch all the x-men movies)
charles her parents just DIED and ur promoting ur school? i mean i know u want to help but give the girl time to process man
"it's a gift" SHE JUST KILLED HER PARENTS IDK IF SHE IS REALLY FEEING GIFTED
WHY IS HANK NORMAL AGAIN COME ON
oh nvm i guess he's blue again
mystique looks so much worse her wig and her makeup do not match what she looked like previously
why did kurt need a helmet and jean didn't? she is literally in the vacuum of space she should be dead rn
bro charles and raven are sooo out of character based on the previous movies, why did they just switch motivations and personalities???
oh hey dazzler!
i truly do belive that charles is trying to help jean and the other students, he just goes about it horribly
one thing i do like abt this movie is charles characterization, he comes off as really wanting to help and being a genuinely good person, he just can't admit his faults and SERIOUSLY messes up a lot
bro i know all of these actors can be good why are they acting so poorly?????
did the director just choose their worst takes??? like what??
so Jean is a God now?
girl i don't think they are afraid of u be ur so cool and powerful but because you killed a woman
WHOA SCOTT AND MAGNETO ARE SWEARING SO MUCH
HOW CAN THEY DO THAT
bro who are these side villains?? і gotta admit the guy with the dreads he can move is pretty cool but who is the girl lookin like negasonic teenage warhead???
THESE EFFECTS ARE SO WILD
WHATTTT IS HAPPENING
the effects of jean making him walk were so gross i literally had to fast forward a bit they look so bad and uncanny
i know that's kinda the point but i cantttttt
jean i wouldn't trust weird alien lady if i were u
yoo charles admits he's wrong for once in his life!! let's go!!!
i do love all the beast content in this movie
THAT WAS SO AWESOME
KURT JUST DROPPED HER IN FRONT OF A TRAIN
YES!!!
i know he seems all innocent but in these movies he was in the fighting rings
he has DEFINITELY killed someone before
i love him so much
overall this movie is bad but this fight scene is SICK
LIKE ERIK JUST CRUSHED A TRAIN CAR THATS SO COOL
"i had a change of heart" erik we all know you are just down bad for charles and you will do anything if he asks u really sincerely
you can't fool me
charles and jean are so father daughter core
i mean he's not a great dad but they sure have the dynamic
CHERIK COFFEE SHOP AU YEAHH
bro do u know what the name of that cafe is
the french says "vieux copains"
THAT LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO OLD FRIENDS
THEY ARE AT THE CAFE OF OLD FRIENDS
well that movie was... bad
there were some good parts
but overall it was not good
it wasn't even funny bad like origins wolverine
this movie was NOT funny and if i'm being honest i only watched it for that scene at the end cuz i saw gifs of it on here
#actual post#x men#charles xavier#x men dark phoenix#dark phoenix#jean grey#hank mccoy#beast xmen#mystique#kurt wagner#nightcrawler xmen#nightcrawler#raven darkholme#dazzler#scott summers#cyclops#magneto#erik lehnsherr
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I went to library con (lol its not called library con but thats what i called it. Its American Library Association Annual which is funny bc they call it ALA and I was like...that shitty anime con???) this week in san diego to promote the comic I worked with Terry on "Eat your Heart Out"
I got jumpscared seeing the big banner. My art has never been on anything bigger than art center presentations lmao
We handed out signed copies and it was honestly pretty fun. I have a ton of bookmarks as well if anyone wants one.....if you can find me in real life LMAO
I also got to be on a PANEL like a big professional lmao And met Josie Campbell an animation brethren and we were like "LETS GO TAG! LETS GET THOSE NEGOTIATIONS!!!!" (Reminder that The Animation Guild is due to negotiate with studios in August so please support us!!!)
Downside was is that some of my sunburns are still really fresh (most of them are in gross peeling stage and some are...kinda painful) so I was a bit sweaty and uncomfortable...and now I'm paying for it bc i feel really under the weather.
BUT. lol my issues aside (it was my own damned fault getting burned the weekend before)
It was really fun!
Librarians are really cool lol Especially since I tried to get into that field during my unemployment last year and a half it was interesting hearing what they had to deal with as Librarians for children or teens (The teen librarians kept talking to me about Slam Dunk and One Piece *u*)
There's also this huge emphasis for book sellers in getting your books IN libraries. Books in actual physical libraries does so much for the value of payments of the book (which in turn pays the authors and artists that work on those books).
And how much librarians and libraries do for the industry as a WHOLE. I learned that back in the day when english manga was coming out they were binding the books REALLY SHITTY and its funny bc I DO remember that. The quality was really bad. And because librarians complained about it, because a book circulates through a lot of people rather than if you buy a volume for yourself, the book will get damaged really fast if the book is made poorly. So Viz had to change HOW they bound their books and you can definitely tell now how the quality is so much nicer.
Anyway it was really cool lol And also since it took place at the San Diego Convention center it was really cool to see what SDCC looks like when its not an absolute cluster fuck of people and noise lol I saw where I slept on the ground outside to get into Hall H and we were treated to a dinner at Roys which I'd only ever seen in passing lol (ALSO ROYS WAS SO EXPENSIVE!?!? And I thought the onigiri was like...the salmon went INTO the onigiri....so that was the dish. but it was...a ball of rice onigiri shaped with some salmon ...and it was REALLY good salmon and the misoyaki was good too but.....i was expecting really expensive onigiri and was oddly disappointed it wasn't....that.......anyway)
ANYWAY ANYWAY lmao. Our comic comes out in August 13! I've finally seen the finished product and it came out so well. Yknow that thing where you see your art from a few years ago and you want to crawl into a hole and die? Well lol I still feel that but also I don't because it honestly looks so good and its nice seeing it all in one whole place! The coloring came out really nice ! And I can't wait to see what Claudia did in the second half of the book
Oh yeah I also got a comped train ticket to get me down there and I got to ride the Amtrak which was pretty cool! I ...was EXHAUSTED on both trips down and back so I slept most of the way lmao But look at this guy!
Lol ALTHO I was genuinely surprised that when we came back from san diego the train just goes in reverse.
On shinkansen the seats on the train are able to turn around so you're always facing forwards. So it was a little disorienting at first. I also wished I had an ekiben on the way down.
Its cool I can get an ekiben in august when i go to japan lmao
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feeling like maybe screaming as loud and long as I can and falling to the ground and hitting it until I start bleeding or I finally get some attention whichever happens first. who's in
tf is up with me and randomly bursting into tears on weekend afternoons
#been trying so so so hard to keep busy and not let everything get to me but unfortunately i have run out of steam so i will now lose it#this happens like once or twice a week its fine tomorrow morning ill have my facade back up and pretend its all fine again#at least its the evening so i can just cry for an hour and go straight to bed. i rule at this emotional regulation shit im winning#oh my god. face in my palms and muffled wailing. its not even that bad at all im generally doing well i have so much going for me#just feel so fucking lonely in my life. and im doing my best to combat it im going out to social shit and calling friends often#but so much of the time! it just makes me feel more alone! bc theres such a lack of closeness or connection its so surface level#dont get me wrong i love my friends but there are things i need. like emotional support. and closeness. and preferably some hugs in there#and i cant get it from them and thats fine i respect boundaries and i know its mostly my fault for feeling so alone bc i dont communicate#well enough and ive tried to get better at it but i cant do it in isolation it cant just come from my side i need someone to seek it out#hey man is it so much to want to feel seen and safe around other people. i mean i guess it is. can anyone fucking hear me#and im so sick of being disabled and how big a barrier it is and how its shaped all of my experiences im done with it!!!!!#but its forever!!!!!!!!!! jesus fuuuuucking christ.#its okay tho im doing what i can for now. and its late evening on a sunday and im on my period and ive had a long week#so its perfectly fucking respectable to feel like shit. and genuinely i will feel better tomorrow. ough.#and i know im not the only one having a bad time. i wish i could do more to help my friends that are but i dont know how. man#ahhhhhhhhhhh. okay. well at least i got pretty much everything done i wanted to today. and anything i missed isnt important#im gonna shower and read and cry a little and go to bed by 10 i think. and then climbing to look forward to after work#i feel bad for saying that now. i dont have superficial friends. just different needs. but i still get a lot out of being friends w them#and i do feel some closeness to some of them sometimes its not like i never have. my insecurity doesnt help i have no object permanence#and my perspective rn is warped bc im upset. but its okay. i know i dont always feel like this. just um. somewhat frequently#sigh. okay yeah showering#sorry 4 ventposting again....relapsing in a moment of weakness. im very tired. i hope that isnt a rat i can hear in the kitchen#.diaries#.vent
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A part 3 to this
(I mean I didn't expect to make this a little thing but you guys seem to want it 🙂 So I don't mind carrying on this little AU story I've got going on)
Sebastian out of Azkaban
It had been close to 3 months now, since Sebastian had been staying with Garreth. He was feeling some normality in himself again, thanks to Garreths aid, and was back on his feet. Garreth sat at his dining room table, enjoying the morning sun coming through the window, Sebastian wandered downstairs after getting ready, Garreth looked over at him.
Garreth: Morning! *smiles*
Sebastian: *small smile* Hey.
Sebastian wandered over and sat at the table with Garreth, also turning his head to take in the sun and sighed.
Sebastian: I feel good for the first time in a long time..
Garreth: Thats great, Pal *warm grin*
Sebastian: Thank you, Weasley. Again, I don't know what to do to make it up to you.
Garreth: Naah, you don't have to thank me, and you don't have to do anything *smiles* Got everything I need, I was happy to help you. You're my friend.
Sebastian: *smiles* It means alot, truly.
The two sat for a moment, Garreth narrowed his eyes slightly at Sebastian, leaning forward in his chair.
Garreth: Are you ready to talk more about Ominis?
Sebastian ears perked up just hearing his name. this journey that Garreth had taken him on made him do a lot of thinking, he'd forgiven, and he felt some peace, and understood why Ominis and MC did what they did, though it was hard.
Sebastian: I think I am..You havnt told me much.
Garreth: I thought it would be too painful..
Sebastian: It would have been, but I'm ready.
Garreth: Well..I havnt seen him in a while, but we keep in touch. He doesn't live too locally anymore, not far though. And he doesn't know you're here, but he knows you're out of Azkaban. He wrote about it in his last letter to me.
Sebastian: ....I see. I hope he doesn't hate me..
Garreth: He definitely doesn't hate you, Ominis really struggled, Sebastian. After you got sent away, he wasn't himself. He hated it, but he knew it was the right thing to do for YOUR own benefit, do you understand?
Sebastian: I do..I do NOW anyway..It was awful in there..But, I think I needed it, Dark magic was taking over my mind, my soul, everything *sigh* I was angry and clouded when I first got out, wanted to find him, of course after I tried to find Anne first, the night you found me outside that bar, I'd just been drinking, after discovering she'd died...
Garreth: *nods his head in sympathy* I've wanted to talk to you about all this stuff..But my main focus was just getting you normal and stabilised, I didn't want to bring up anything that may have caused pain, and you never said anything, so I left it be.
Sebastian: I know, and I appreciate that. I just hope Anne knows, wherever her soul is, how sorry I am.
Garreth: I'm sure she does, mate. *warm smile*
Sebastian: Yeah *sits for a moment* So, Ominis? Married? Kids? How is he?
Garreth: He's good, lives a nice peaceful life, not married, no kids, but he's happy.
Sebastian: I'm glad he's happy. I'd love to see him.
Garreth: Well..When I last sent him a letter, I asked if he'd like to meet, he's going to be in the gardens in Hogsmeade later today, that's where I told him to meet me..Are you truly ready Sebastian? Have you forgiven?
Sebastian: Yes, I have, honestly! Oh my god *big genuine smile* I've, missed him, so much.
Garreth: Then we'll go together, Leanders coming too, but me and him will wait at The Three Broomsticks while you go and get Ominis, yeah?
Sebastian: *smiles and nods his head*
Garreth: I can trust you, right? You really are OK?
Sebastian: Gaz, you've helped me massively, I really am..I'm ok. *thankful smile*
Garreth: *warm grin* Good..
Later that day, after giving Sebastian a pat on the back, Garreth and Leander made their way to the Three Broomsticks from the town centre, as Sebastian wandered towards the gardens his heart was in his throat seeing his old friend, Ominis sat there on a Bench under a tree, looking prim and proper as always, Sebastian couldn't believe it, he was so overwhelmed with emotion seeing Ominis, his lip was shaking as he approached, standing in front of him. Ominis looked up, knowing a presence was there.
Ominis: *smiles* Garreth?
Sebastian: ....
Ominis: Garreth? Is that you? *stands*
Sebastian: Ominis..
Ominis let out a small sharp gasp, both of them frozen solid for a moment, before Ominis reached out, his breathing shakey as he felt Sebastians face, Sebastian looked at him, a tear falling down his cheek.
Ominis: S-Sebastian?
Sebastian: *sniffles* Ominis.
Tears started to stream down Ominis's face as he grabbed Sebastians' shoulders.
Ominis: Sebastian, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Sebastian: *starts crying himself, pulling Ominis in for a hug* It doesn't matter anymore, it's ok..
Ominis: It..Its no OK..It was never OK *hugging him back* Oh Sebastian *cries more, holding his old friend*
Sebastian: Ominis *clinging to him* It's so good to see you again.
The pair sat on the bench for a while, chatting. Sebastian told Ominis everything that Garreth had done for him and his emotional journey.
Ominis: *sigh* Garreth is an angel for that.
Sebastian: Really is, heh. Oh God, I'm so happy to see you. You look so well..I'm glad you can't see me *chuckles* I aged like damn milk in that place, you've aged like a fine wine.
Ominis: *chuckles* Oh shush..Sebastian, I can't tell you how happy I am, I'm so glad you've forgiven me for the decision I made, because I never truly forgave myself for doing that.
Sebastian: The past is the past, I just want to look forward now *smiles*
Ominis: As do I, old friend *smiles*
~
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy headcanons#ominis gaunt#hogwarts legacy drabbles#sebastian sallow#ominis gaunt headcanon#sebastian sallow headcanon#garreth weasley headcanons#garreth weasley
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Have you played through Natlan a little bit yet? Because I love it except for one thing. Does the Archon quest feel...off to you? At least the first act. Specifically the character introductions and character acting?
Funny thing actually i JUST finished it last night!
Well uh spoilers ahead
I think its... alright-ish? Act 1 basically sets you up with the basics, the characters, the culture, the traditions, and lore so we know whats up. Cool. We are literally being fed information because we are tourists and i can excuse that.
Idk how to feel about traveller and paimon literally going 'ah look, an opportunity has arised, its time to do our thing and help with this major event'. I mean yes thats how its always been but mentioning it doesnt... help... it just points out a flaw.
The characters are fine enough imo. I really expected Mualani to have this super hyper attitude and squeaky voice we usually get from an 'everyone loves me' character but shes suprisingly mellow and i appreciate that alot. (May change with Citlali though and im not looking forward to it)
I do not like how it is very Tell not Show. Because you know what keeps being shown? The fact that Kachina is A CHILD. Maybe she's not an actual child who knows but hyv is clearly infantilizing her. Case in point:
The chief of the tribe literally asked you for ID because you are strangers hanging out around her. He literally said 'a good feeling isnt gonna be enough for your parents to trust these people'
After the chief knew who the traveller is, he said he could trust Kachina to go to the Stadium to sign up and not get into trouble. She HAS to participate because she has an Ancient Name and you can barely trust her to go to the stadium???
Kachina mentioning how she can't keep excusing her age for being a bad warrior. So she KNOWS shes young and either she or other people in the past has excused her for her performance because of her age.
The genuine actual side by side of her first match up. You know a child vs a massive buff man. Maybe it's just me but her kit is clearly not made to DPS and hyv making us fight these opponents with only her kinda makes it feel so much like a drag.
Everyone around her keeps saying oh shes actually really good, she almost made it last time, shes super powerful just lacking confidence. Well we dont really... see it. When the tournament started and we play as mualani and kachina all i can think about it 'yeah mualani is gonna do all the fighting here' and it adds to the idea that kachina literally did the bare minimum. But then suddenly we get a really cool cutscene of her defeating a 3 times winning veteran. It is not believable to me.
Also now that she's won we are literally sending her off to fight the abyss where she has a REAL CHANCE OF DYING but we gotta be ok with it because she can get resurrected? Are we not supposed to be concerned that we are sending a child to war with a real chance of her dying?
It is such a tonal shock and the traveller or paimon barely says anything about it so WE are supposed to be fine with it too? It probably is culture shock but like... SOME people still sees Clorinde as a killer despite doing her job as a duelist, how do you think those people will think seeing THIS tradition.
As for the bit where we go with mualani while we wait for kachina to come back from war, it was... alright i think. But the manufactured 'chillness' is there, like you can tell theyre trying their hardest to potray this tribe as the chill surfers one. Its also obvious they want us to like Atea. While she looks a lil overbearing i appreciate that they were being subtle about her 'my life isnt gonna last long so i am doing this dangerous task', they had to explain it anyway for mualani but i think them not stating out right at first that 'woah you werent going here because you can use the hotsprings again!' is a good choice, that is a good show not tell i think.
For now though the entire thing simply feels off because i feel like there's no stake at all for us. If kachina loses? Then she doesn't get sent to the war, thats kind of a good thing seeing how she did ended up 'dying'. We've met the archon but for some reason hasn't asked about our siblings or anything and the only reason we are staying is because its the right thing to do. Thats it. I think it's just... alot offered to us but none with actual value to the traveller personally.
While you can argue that fontaine is exactly like that, that we only stayed to help lyney with his trial and everything else because its the right thing to do. Lyney is fatui. Neuvillette is a dragon. And furina is an absent archon. Theres an air of mystery around how fontaine works and these people have MASSIVE connections. You almost want to stay to see how it'll turn up, what information will show up.
Natlan on the other hand revealed basically everything to us in the first 2 acts. Natlan gets abyss attacks because they dont have strong leyline connections. The fatui wants the gnosis and literally will just fight the archon for it. The archon is chill and kind and is the reincarnation of the original archon because we were told that. The facking traitor from night-wind is obviously the Ororon guy lmao. So what IS left to speculate? To look out for?
Like wow she's gonna carve us an Ancient Name? Why lmao. What for? We can purify the abyss we are not dying in the Night Kingdom.
Shrugs idk feel free to fight me on this. I am just a lil jaded because i literally cannot take the archon seriously when shes literally just called 'Archon' with no special title or anything
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Okie-dokie! SOOOOOOO!! It's That Time for me to Yap more about My Favorite Blorbo, One OF My Favorite comfort characters: Pearl Splatoon 2 HEHEEHEHEHEEH XDDDDDDDD And ALSO!!! A bit of lore as well for Hooked on to You story! Now Then...
Pearl in Hooked on to You and the way I see Pearl? Gender Comforting Character. Pearl in my view is He/Shey/They, Nonbinary Lesbian! Nonbinary Butch or He/Him butch! Whichever!
The reason I'm saying this? Is that Pearl is a Comfort kin character of Mine. Ever since Splatoon 2's Testfire Splatfest: Cake vs Ice Cream, I was a fan. I LOOOOOOOOOVE Cake!! One of my favorites and Pearl's favorites being Strawberry Cake which is also my favorite! So already on to a GREAT AWESOME Look and why I choose the team.
Then it was on Splatoon 2's official release date that I played it, and went on Hero Mode 2's Sunken Scrolls. The tale of how Pearl join in the Singing Competition in Calamary Country and unfortunately was disqualified due to HOW ABSURD and LOUD Their voice was? I felt seen.
See, I am a HUGE YAPPER and can be quite loud and whatnot and there has been plenty of times that I've been told to stop it. That I shouldn't be that loud or that I am getting annoying with the way I talk or ramble or yap about, and the thing is? I just like to yap and yap around XD Especially when its like one of my favorite things ever, this case of course, Splatoon!
So already with the first Sunken Scrolls that talks about Pearl and Marina's little bits of Backstory? I was HOOKED on with Them already.
And then more Splatfests came to be....
I was Team Mayo (I like Mayo), Team Flight, Team Vampires and so on and forwards. It wasn't til Team Fantasy where I first time join a Marina's team. Either way, I go by what I feel and such based on the question and theme, and genuinely every time that Pearl would talk in why He would pick that choice? I would follow cause it was so much familiar! So in a sense, She was the most relatable ;W;
And then finally, Octo Expansion came to be! And Her backstory, the Punk story and how much He was trying and trying so much to deal in with what SHE WANTED to write and sing? Oh my gosh, SO MUCH Same here! Many times wanting to be myself and be unapologetic about it and decided to go with it! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Truly amazing. And obviously that didn't stop in Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion, It came to be Final Fest: Chaos vs Order and I was Team Chaos. Because I truly believe that when it comes to Life, You really can't get ALL the order and that while Change is indeed scary, its something that inevitably comes and such. Its hard and easier than done for sure, but its why I Love being in the Present. I still have quite the power to also take in and see what I CAN DO! When it comes to like per say, what I MUST do in the Present and actual time (yes, I was also Team Present for Grand Fest XD)
Is also why I decided to go and expand on more to Pearl's backstory in based of True Experiences I lived when growing up. Certain experiences being quite that I look and are bitter about, but it is what it is Y'know? I can't change the past and surely there are bitter moments, but thats is why on to the Present is best to SO MUCH take ahold of those experiences and do what You can do!
As I see myself I wanted to represent as well those kinds of feelings. I'm one that is quite comfortable within my gender in how I like to feel and I want that to be seen in that case. Which is also why I gave in within per say also somewhat giving Pearl my body type too! Except that Pearl is shorter XDDDDDDDDDDD But hey! He's a SHORT QUEEN! YEAAAAAAAAH! THE MC PRINCESS!
But yeah! Reason I like to ramble about Me being seen with Pearl And having The lucky chance to do so via writing or drawing, Even gameplay Why Not XD Is something dear And Comfy! And I believe it's quite amazing to see anyone as well be on The Same feeling or Just being seen! Cause any of You That relate? HELL YEAH!
#splatoon#splatoon 2#pearl houzuki#hooked on to you au#off the hook#skies rambles#skies is yapping about her favorite blorbo and tied comfy character#seriously i like so much to ramble about Pearl#there will be more yapping too about all of my comfy and favs characters coming soon XD
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zia, could I request an aaron warner x reader where he kills a spider for you 😪
I LOVE THIS REQUEST SM😭😭 i HATE bugs so i scream if i see many esp spiders ☹️☹️ had to do this immediately TYSM FOR THE SEND EIR 🫶🩷
this is a drabble hope thats ok🤞🤞 (is 1.1k a drabble….)
tw: spider stuff, and anti-spider themes🕷️🕷️
aaron warner doesn’t sleep peacefully. — or at least he didn’t, until he met you. now every night by your side is enough to have him sleeping soundly.
or it usually has him sleeping soundly when you don’t wake him up with your screeches.
“aaron! help!"
aaron is jump started awake at the sound of your distress. he look to your aide, you weren’t in bed. his first instinct was to grab the pistol he kept in the drawer of his night stand, and assess the scene for danger.
“aaron, please come quick!”
as soon as he locates your voice, aaron is charging into his office. he slams the door open and thrust his gun forward, expecting the worse; someone hurting you, an intruder, or you were brutally injured.
but it was none of the above. because low and behold, there you were — standing on top of his desk chair screaming for your life, pointing at something on the surface of his desk.
he’s so bewildered it takes him a good second to process what the hell is going on. in his vision, he didn’t see anything or anyone that could be described as dangerous or potentially life threatening to you.
he lowered his gun, “love, what’s going on?” his voice has both concern and confusion.
you snap your head toward him, relieved to see he finally woke up and arrived in the office. but then your face shifts to a look of distress, remembering the whole reason you screamed bloody murder.
“aaron! you’re finally here!” you cry out relieved.
“is…is this a joke?” he genuinely does not understand the source of your distress.
you scowl, “is your girlfriend being in danger a joke to you?”
“i’m not seeing any danger here, love.”
“are you blind? there's a spider on your desk! kill it quick!”
aaron waltzes over to his desk, next to you, who is standing on the chair freaking out and pointing. he follows your line of vision, and it takes him a moment, but then he sees it. it’s a harmless little spider, about an inch or a little more big.
he can’t help but grin at your dramatics. you woke him up out of bed, just to kill a spider.
“it’s not funny.”
“no, no, you’re right. it’s not funny, sweetheart.” his face opposes his statement. he’s holding back a chuckle, badly covering it by pretending to wipe his face.
aaron can’t help himself; he lets out a deep chuckle. he found it absolutely amusing that you were so distressed over a mere insect. he knew he should take your fear more seriously, but you looked too adorable when you freaked out.
“oh my god!” you squeal, “it’s moving, kill it now! use your shoe or something!”
“i’m not wearing shoes. you pulled me straight out of bed with your commotion, remember?”
“fetch one of your shoes!” you state like it’s the most obvious thing.
aaron frowns, he looks almost offended, "i refuse to use one of my costly shoes to squash a bug."
you groan, “then shoot at it for all i care!” you snap at him, waving your arms sporadically.
aaron rolls his eyes at your dramatics. he was not willing to shoot holes through his vintage wooden desk for the purpose of killing a spider.
“how about i just capture it, then let it go free outside.” aaron compromises.
you gape at him, “so it can lay more spider babies?” you say as if it was blasphemy.
your boyfriend shrugs, “or i could leave it. i mean, it’s not doing any harm, why should i remove it?” aaron says with a teasing voice.
your eyes widen, “no, no!" you quickly wave your hands to stop him.
"okay, fine, just get rid of it, quick!” you relent, deciding it was better than leaving the spider in the office.
he nods, then scans the room for a jar. he finds one that he uses for pens, and swiftly empties its contents on another surface. he grabs a paper then takes long steps to stand next to you.
aaron crouches down a little to get a better look at the spider. he acts like a predator about to pounce on its prey. you can’t even bare to look anymore, you cover your eyes with your eyes. in one move the makes his attack and traps the spider into the glass.
you peak out through your fingers and see aaron has got the little critter. you shiver as you see it move around the glass, realizing its trapped. you can’t stare at it too long before you get grossed out, so you cover your eyes again.
aaron uses the paper he grabbed to slide it under the jar, along with the spider. once he has it, he quickly flips the jar over, and continues covering the top with the paper. the beast itsy bitsy spider was captured.
once you saw he was contained, you let out a sigh of relief, much more calm now that aaron has got it.
aaron turns toward you with the spider jar in hand. “see, this little guy won’t hurt you.” he then brings the jar closer to your face.
you shriek, trying to back away, almost offing off the chair in the process, “get it away!”
aaron laughs, reaching one hand on your wrist to stop you from losing balance, “okay i’ll release this guy outside so he doesn’t bother you anymore. but first get off that chair before you hurt yourself.”
you roll your eyes but do as he says. aaron’s using one strong arm to wrap around your waist and bring you down. always the gentleman when it came to you.
you start shoving his chest, “ok, ok, now seriously get rid of that thing. make sure you go far.” you articulate to him. you did not want that ugly thing coming back.
now aaron is the one rolling his eyes, nodding that he understands and will make sure to do so. then he leaves out the door with the spider jar.
outside, aaron made a good distance from the base, hitting part of the woody area that surrounded it. he finds a rocky area before he kneels down on one knee, setting the jar down.
he turns the jar upside-down and removes the paper. — but he doesn’t lift the jar just yet.
“apologies for this, but can’t let you go crawling around scaring my girlfriend again.” he grins to himself a little, “after all i never said i was opposed to squashing you with a rock.”
then aaron dies just that, he grabs the nearest rock, lifts the jar, and squishes the spider.
aarons stands up and dusts himself off. what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, he thinks.
plus, aaron can’t deny he loves helping you when you’re a damsel in distress, even it the distress in question is a tiny bug.
he then turns to walk back to base, but when aaron turns, he’s see a figure standing there.
of course it was kenji.
kenji’s eyes are wide. “did i just witness a murder?”
aaron facepalms himself.
sorry but spiders are not safe in my fics 😋😋
#𝐳𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬#aaron warner x reader#x reader#reader insert#reader imagine#shatter me#aaron warner#x female reader
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