#been trying so so so hard to keep busy and not let everything get to me but unfortunately i have run out of steam so i will now lose it
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angelluv16 · 1 day ago
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Fading Between Us
Max Verstappen x reader
✩: You try to reach Max, but he keeps shutting you out. When another argument ends in silence, you realize you’re the only one still fighting to save something that was already gone.
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pairing: max verstappen x reader
request: no!!
warnings: Angst, Breakup, Arguments
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You could feel the shift. It wasn’t sudden—it never was. But as the days passed, you couldn’t ignore it anymore. The distance between you two had grown so wide, and you were standing on the edge, waiting for him to reach out. But Max never did.
You sat on the couch, phone in hand, scrolling through the messages he’d sent you earlier—short, detached. Nothing like the long conversations you used to have, nothing like the connection you used to share. Every word he sent felt like a duty, not a conversation.
When Max finally walked in that night, it was the same routine—no eye contact, no hello. You could hear the exhaustion in his footsteps, see it in the way he hung his jacket on the chair, but you needed him to look at you. You needed him to talk to you.
“Max,” you said softly, trying to catch his attention. “Can we talk?”
He didn’t look up, but you could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw tightened as he pulled open the fridge. “Not right now, Y/N,” he muttered.
You swallowed, trying to fight back the hurt. You weren’t asking for a lot—just a few minutes. Just for him to open up, to tell you what was going on in his head, to let you in.
But Max wasn’t listening. His eyes stayed focused on the food in the fridge, his back to you. And that was when it hit you—that quiet ache that had been building for so long, now crashing into your chest.
“Max, please,” you tried again, your voice cracking. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, but I can’t keep feeling like this. You’re here, but you’re not. You won’t even talk to me.”
He turned sharply, finally meeting your eyes. “You don’t get it, Y/N,” he snapped, his tone sharp and defensive. “I’ve got a hundred things on my mind right now, and I don’t have the energy for whatever this is.”
You took a breath, trying to stay calm, but the frustration was building, like a slow fire igniting in your chest. “I’m just asking you to open up, Max. You’re shutting me out, and it’s killing me. I’m right here, trying to understand, trying to be there for you, and you won’t even let me in.”
His eyes darkened, and the walls went up, fast. “I’m not in the mood for this, Y/N,” he said, voice cold now, like he was already done with the conversation. “I don’t have time to explain everything to you.”
The anger was there now, bubbling to the surface, but you fought it back. You didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to yell at him. You just wanted him to see you, to feel you. You wanted him to care enough to let you in.
“I’m not asking for a lecture, Max,” you said quietly, your voice soft but heavy with the weight of your emotions. “I just want you to talk to me. You don’t have to carry everything alone. We’re supposed to be a team.”
Max’s eyes flashed with frustration, his hands tightening into fists by his sides. “I don’t need anyone to help me, Y/N. I don’t need you telling me what I need. You think I want this? I didn’t ask for any of this!”
The words stung, sharper than you expected. Your chest tightened, but you swallowed it down. You couldn’t let him make you feel small, not again.
“You don’t get it, do you?” you said, your voice trembling with the tears you were trying to hold back. “I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to show up. But you’re too busy with everything else, with your fucking career, to care about the person who’s supposed to be there with you.”
Max’s expression turned hard, his jaw clenched. “I’m doing my best, okay? But I’m not going to sit here and explain myself to you. I don’t owe you that.”
And that was it. That was the moment when everything clicked. All the pain, all the hurt that had been festering for months, it all came crashing down. You couldn’t do it anymore.
You stood up, your hands shaking with the weight of what you were about to say. “I can’t keep doing this, Max. I can’t keep waiting for you to show up, for you to care enough to actually talk to me. This—whatever this is—it’s over.”
Max didn’t say a word. His gaze locked with yours, but there was nothing in his eyes now. No apology. No regret. Just cold, suffocating anger. He didn’t even move.
For a moment, you thought maybe he would speak. Maybe he would try to stop you, to say something—anything—but he just stood there, silent and still. The silence between you two felt like it was swallowing everything.
You didn’t wait for him to break it. You couldn’t.
You turned away and walked out, the sound of your footsteps echoing in the empty space between you two.
Max didn’t stop you. He didn’t say anything. He just let you walk away.
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Taglist: @anamiad00msday @Ale-522 @meadhbhcavanagh @fulla02 @fanficfanatic77 @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @lottalove4evelyn
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sirxlla · 2 days ago
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hi so there's been this gif going all around twitter and i saw a buddie prompt but i was wondering if you could find a way to make it buck x fem!reader instead? maybe reader is away for work and buck is just going insane missing them? just whatever you deem fit. (the tweet: https://x.com/bucksnaturals/status/1883622497956044895?s=46 )
THANK YOU in advance and if this goes against anything just ignore and i am so sorry ☹️🫶
Thinking Of You
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Warnings: NSFW, self-care (him taking care of himself 😉)
Prompt: above but here is the link they are referencing -> the tweet: [request anon] I love this prompt sm. Its so good. 🙌🏻
Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.
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-With that said it's all under the cut-
Buck always hated when you had to leave for long business trips like this. Why the hell couldn't they just have the business meetings over Zoom like they did during COVID? Fucking hell, it was awful not coming home to you every day and waking up next to you every morning.
"Awwww, there's my man. How was work, Baby?" You asked as you struggled to set your camera up to face time call him, one of Buck's shirts tucked into your silk sleep shorts. You sat back on your bed as you looked at the screen of your iPad.
"Work's really not the issue, Honey. You've been gone like almost a month, and it's just really shitty without you here, and Eddie moved to Texas, so I'm just really feeling so isolated."
"Well, I might, if I get lucky, get to come home early, and it's all we can hope for, right?" You felt really shit for how long this whole entire thing was going on for. A coworker had quit and made everything so much harder for you and almost tripled your work.
"It's hard to sleep without the smell of you. It's just hard to relax without you by my side, you know the weight of it?" Buck held his phone up so you could see his face a bit better after he rolled over in your shared bed.
"I know, Buck. I'm like that, too; sleeping alone has been awful. I'll be home as soon as I can. I promise but I can maybe help with everything else. So my perfume is on my bedside table, I forgot to bring it. Spray it on something, maybe? And I have a weighted blanket in the hall closet. Those should help. Sleeping in your shirt has helped me so much. I bought myself a weighted stuffed animal, and it helps me a lot. I know it sounds dumb-"
"No, it doesn't sound dumb. I really appreciate it, Honey." He interrupted before he saw the clock behind you, noting that it was 3:30 a.m. for you. You should be in bed, and he's keeping you up by bitching to you about missing you; you looked so tired, dark circles hung under your eyes.
"I'll let you go, okay? You look so tired, Hun. I will take your suggestion and see if it helps. You need rest, and I guess I do, too."
"Yeah, it's late. I'll let you go but let me know how that goes. Okay, Ev?" You said as you grabbed your iPad; maybe you could lie down before getting up in a few hours to go back to work.
"I will, I love you, Sweetheart." He smiled as he looked at the screen of his phone and your sleepy face.
"I love you, Buck." You whispered as you struggle to keep your eyes open. "Bye."
"Bye." He whispered back before he hung up reminding himself to remember that pretty and tired face of yours. He went to the closet and grabbed the weighted blanket and the perfume; he opted for spraying it on one of the tank tops you wore to bed, laying it on the pillow beside him before heading to sleep.
Both you and Buck called nightly, and he'd spray your perfume on the tanktop before bed, then he'd be led off to a blissful sleep.
It was the middle of the night, and he panted in his sleep, pushing his hips into the bed to try to relieve the pressure between his thighs. Your breasts pressed against his face as he breathed in the sweet smell of your perfume. His skin felt like it was on fire, his eyes flitting back and forth as his dream progressed into him pounding his hips into yours. This left him tossing and turning until he woke himself up.
Between him, the wind outside, and the moon that crept in was extremely obvious how horny he was.
It wasn't a surprise to him considering that dream. God damn it, he missed you so much and it had been for so long, it felt, and not just the sex but everything. That dream made it unbearable.
Fucking hell, he wasn't one to masturbate but damn it, tonight it was impossible to think of anything else but you; as long as you lingered in his thoughts, then he'd never get a lick of sleep due to his current stiffness.
With his eyes still closed, he reached his hand over to your pillow to that tank top that sat on top of it, bringing it to his nose and breathing it in, which just made the ache turn into a throb. It caused him to let out a deep growl in his throat. His left hand held the shirt to his nose, his eyes closed as he found his right hand massaging his chest like you often did during or before sex. You knew how much he loved it.
In his mind, he pictured your naked body, your hips, the look on your face as you rode him. He moaned as his hand moved down to the space between his skin and his boxers slowly using his thumb to circle the tip of him, the same way you would. He imagined the exact shade and color of your eyes, how you focused on his face when you gave him any bit of intimacy, which made it clear to him that you care for him and how he's feeling.
Buck growled and whimpered into the tank top as his imagination started to feel like his reality. Your hand down his boxers slowly pumping him, your eyes and ears noticing his every reaction and sound. He pumped faster but slowly enough to tease himself the way you would.
You always took him to the edge of oblivion before allowing him to finish. The thought caused him to push his hips higher upwards as he groaned and whimpered at the feeling.
He wouldn't be able to do it as well as you, but he'd damn sure try. Evan continued to think of you, your kisses down his body as you lowered yourself down to his weeping tip, swirling your tongue over it like a lollipop with your eyes open to watch him as your hand pumped him. Your expression eager for him to climax on your tongue.
Before he knew it, he felt white pleasure wash over him, his hand and underwear were covered in arousal, and he felt a lot less pent up.
"I'd've done that if I knew you needed it so bad, Ev." You said as you set your duffle bag down, a smirk in your tone. "It's nice to know you think of me though."
A blush covered his face as he realized he'd been caught pleasuring himself to the smell of your perfume. He pulled his hand from his boxers before swiftly heading to the bathroom to clean himself up.
You changed as he was gone, slipping out of the shoes you'd been in all night. That red-eye flight was catching up to you and the only thing you craved now was Evan to be near you while you slept. Changing into one of his shirts and nothing else besides your panties, you flopped onto the bed with a huff.
Evan came out of the bathroom with a look on his face like a kid that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar, his heart hammered in his chest as he came to lay down with you.
"I- I- I can explain." He started with a nervous tone. You knew he didn't usually masturbate, but to you, it was whatever. It was fine; most people do it.
"Shhhh..." You smile as you cuddle into his chest, hooking your leg over his hips. "I'm glad you think of me, Ev. It's kinda sweet."
"Sweet? You just caught me jerking off with your tank top." He was astonished; most women he'd dated were so not into this kinda thing and most definitely didn't think it was cute. They saw it more so as maybe this guy was a creep. He was confused.
"I don't mince my words, Evan. I meant what I said." You said as you cuddled into him. "I'll leave you some better stuff if I go out of town again, okay?" You mumbled into his chest, pulling him even closer than before.
"Alright?" He was still so confused but relaxed, and he felt how calm you were and how steady your breath was, which caused his heart to steady and ease its worry.
"Mmm hmmm..." You mumbled as you fell asleep pressed against your sweet dork of a man.
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sturniololuvz · 3 days ago
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Hiii! Can you do one where Chris is a single father of a little girl that’s like barley a year old and he’s kinda struggling doing it alone but refuses to ask for help until his brothers find out how stressed he really is
yess this one is so cute / kinda sad
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“The Struggles of Fatherhood”
Sturniolos x chris’s daughter
Earrings : none
Chris Sturniolo had always dreamed of being a father, but nothing could have prepared him for the reality of single parenthood. With his little girl, Y/N, just barely a year old, he found himself navigating sleepless nights, diaper changes, and endless rounds of baby food all on his own.
At first, he tried to take it all in stride, thinking he could handle everything. “I got this,” he’d tell himself, even as Y/N cried for the third time that night. But as weeks turned into months, Chris began to feel the weight of the world pressing down on him.
He’d wake up in the morning, groggy and exhausted, with Y/N babbling in her crib, her bright smile a reminder of why he had to keep going. But the moment he’d change her diaper and pour her breakfast, the stress would creep back in. There were dishes piling up, laundry that never seemed to get done, and the constant worry about whether he was doing everything right.
Despite his struggles, Chris kept a brave face. He didn’t want to admit that he was having a hard time, not wanting to burden anyone with his problems. He loved Y/N fiercely and wanted to be the best father he could be, even if it meant doing it alone.
One afternoon, as he sat on the floor surrounded by scattered toys, Y/N crawled into his lap, reaching for his hair and tugging playfully. He smiled down at her, but inside, he felt a wave of frustration. He glanced around the chaotic living room and sighed, trying to push back the overwhelming emotions.
Unbeknownst to him, Matt and Nick had planned to stop by for a surprise visit. When they arrived and saw the state of the apartment, they exchanged worried glances.
“Chris?” Matt called out, walking into the living room. “You home?”
“Yeah, just in here!” Chris replied, forcing a smile as he stood up with Y/N in his arms.
Nick’s eyes widened as he took in the messy room—dirty dishes in the sink, laundry strewn across the couch, and Y/N’s toys scattered everywhere. “Wow, looks like a tornado hit!”
Chris chuckled nervously, brushing it off. “Yeah, you know how it is with a baby.”
Matt’s expression softened as he watched Chris bounce Y/N in his arms. “You okay, man?”
“Of course!” Chris replied too quickly. “I’m just busy, that’s all.”
But as Y/N squirmed and let out a little whine, it became clear that Chris was barely keeping it together. Matt exchanged a knowing look with Nick, who nodded in silent agreement.
“Let’s take her for a walk, Chris,” Nick suggested. “You could use a break.”
Chris hesitated, a knot forming in his stomach. “I don’t want to impose. I can handle it.”
“Dude, we’re your brothers,” Matt insisted gently. “You’re not imposing. We want to help.”
Finally, Chris let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of his pride crumble. “I just… I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden. We care about you and Y/N,” Nick said, stepping closer. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Chris looked down at Y/N, who was now babbling happily in his arms. “I just want to be a good dad,” he admitted, his voice breaking slightly.
“And you are,” Matt assured him. “But it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
With a heavy heart, Chris nodded, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. “I guess I’ve just been too proud to admit that I need it.”
“Let’s get some fresh air and have fun together,” Nick said, smiling. “You and Y/N deserve a little break.”
As they set out for a walk, Chris felt the tension begin to lift. The weight of single parenthood was still there, but now, he had his brothers by his side. He realized that asking for help didn’t mean he was weak; it meant he was human.
That day marked a new beginning for Chris, one filled with support and love. He was still learning how to navigate fatherhood, but with his brothers there, he knew he wouldn’t have to do it alone anymore. Together, they would figure it out, one step at a time.
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ninyard · 21 hours ago
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just because i feel a little cuckoo crazy about Jeremy rn i want to go back to chapter 15 again because i have so much nonsensical rambling left to say
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Just him. Fierce, strong, positive and powerful Jeremy. Perfect Jeremy. he who can do no fucking wrong. Perfect athlete. Star player. and a disappointing cigarette between his lips. Did he start to smoke as a rebellious teenager? and him being conscious enough so the smoke doesn’t blow back at Jean.
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Redemption, perhaps. There was more to it and Jean KNEW it. He’s trying so hard to be a good person, to make up for his mistakes. His fall from grace before he’d even gotten there. This stain on his reputation that he tries so hard to be different from.
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Jean didn’t elaborate and Jeremy had never liked him more. This grief is so fucking rough. It’s not like Andrew killing his mom to protect Aaron. It’s not like finding out Grayson was killed to keep Jean safe. No motive, no reason, only Jeremy’s brother being let down by him when all he needed in that moment was someone there for him. And that’s all Jeremy sees - a moment where he failed his brother. This was not supposed to happen, and this was his fault, and this is something he can never, ever change.
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Not you! Not like that! Cat is so healing for Jean. Touch and love. The way she so casually kisses his palm and all he’s knows in violence but he can still say no, not you, this isn’t the life that was ever supposed to touch you. It’s all he’s known and STILL he knows it’s not what he deserved. Because he KNOWS that it never worked, it was never meant to work, it was just cruel and unjust and he could never do that to someone he loves. Someone who shows him love like she does.
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Who’d question it once USC got involved? They signed you, Jeremy, the moment your brother fucking died because you were too busy getting off to save him, reduced down to you being a whore and that’s it. And look how hard he tries to be known for something different. But a whore and a slut is all he’ll be known for. It’s sex, and Fraser likes to be mean and rough, but fuck, how did he feel seeing WHORE written all over Jean’s notebooks? When Annalise said he was ending the way he started, when he read the rumours and knew to see past them because at some point in his life that’s all he was known for, too. Is he against the idea of Jean as much as Jean is, because he knows his reputation comes with their relationship as much as Jean’s does?
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This hurt, this hurt a lot. Imagine having seen your friend at this low point in his life, drunk and high out of his mind, making bad decisions and becoming a bad person. And now he’s reliving trauma he hasn’t been through in four years and he leaves for a few hours and comes back smelling like alcohol and bruised up from bad decisions with a bad person. She had every right to be concerned. Not a day like today. Not after everything.
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I SET THE PRECEDENT. It’s not “these rumours are incessant because people have always believed them” it’s “these rumours aren’t going away because of course they must be true. Their captain is a slut, and look at where his fucked up decisions got him. Of course they’d sign another one”. He takes so much blame and fault and so much onto his own back because he feels like he deserves it. He needs redemption, right? He needs to do something good to make up for the bad. And he can’t fight back. There’s nothing he can do except just take it.
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“They are not your partners”. Because Jean was fucking betrayed and destroyed and hurt by his partner. it’s not partner meaning hook up or date, it’s partner as in protector, as in the one to keep you safe, as in the one by your side. Your failures are my failures. And Jean being so worried after seeing Jeremy in such a state earlier thinking he’s seen this before, he knows what he’s looking at. Jean, who asked “is cody safe?”. But Jeremy still lying so easily because he can’t tell Jean that the violence in sex is… acceptable to him? Normal? Is it? or is he also just used to heavy hands and finishing with bruises?
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This feels like a crumbling of Jeremy’s facade, i think. Like everything he’s been portraying himself as, the person he’s been trying so hard to be, is going to be ruined for Jean in a moment because he asks him about that part of his life. About the coke. It’s easier for him to say he partied than it is to say he destroyed himself mentally and physically for the sake of what, escape? A break? And now Jean, who’s supposed to see him as this unbreakable character in his life, his unmoving and indestructible partner, is going to see through his skin and bones for what he’s always seen himself as; an addict, a slut, a disappointment. A terrible brother. A bad influence. It’s the moment his facade fucking cracks in two and it’s so necessary, it’s so fucking late for his truth to come out, and he’s laying himself bare in front of Jean who needs to see this, hear this, more than anyone else.
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thewhumpcaretaker · 2 days ago
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🝊 Curse in Two Bodies: 9 - I'm Sorry 🝊
Masterlist | Summary: Adelais tries and fails to apologize for his behavior towards Ninlen earlier. Ninlen tries to apologize for...well, just about everything. TW: lots of shame, lots of talk about not wanting to eat, possible financial abuse by a parent
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A: Im sorry (message deleted)
N: I saw that. You’ve done it twice now.
A: Great
N: Are you okay?
A: Yes. God, you’re insufferable.
N: I’m sorry. I know I have a way of getting over-concerned with other people’s business. I’ll try to work on it, during our time together. We have to work effectively as a team, and that can’t happen if I’m fussing over you. Again, I’m sorry. 
A: Stop apologizing. It’s not like that.
A: Do you actually mean these little speeches?
N: Of course
A: But why? You haven’t done anything to me. I don’t think anyone has been this nice to me in years.
N: That’s a fucking crime.
N: I don’t understand why they couldn’t get anyone for you other than me.
A: Ha! Seriously? Maybe we *are* strangers.
N: Wait. Did it bother you, when I said that?
A: No! What do I care? It’s just not fucking accurate, okay? Maybe you don’t know shit about me but I know you. Did you know I had access to your files before you even got here?
N: I did not know that, no.
A: Credit report and everything. You grew up in Korsaivar. You dropped out of school at 14. And your checks are going into a joint back account, and then right back out again. Someone’s robbing you blind.
N: No one’s robbing me. I’m providing for my mother. I dropped out to start working fields in Montagleo for her.
A: Yeah, that too! You’ve been working the fields since 14 and you have no savings! What do you buy??
N: That’s…I genuinely don’t know how to respond to this level of economic unawareness but I understand that this is not an issue you’ve likely encountered firsthand. I’m centering myself in patience.
A: See, insufferable.
A: I know how poverty happens, you dunce. But you’re providing for your mother and nobody else on one of the few living wages that doesn’t need a degree. Like…that’s hard labor and it’s not for nothing. People go to the Montagleo fields to feed a family of three, and you’re not even married. It doesn’t make any sense. You’re just, what, giving her full access to buy anything out of your bank account?
N: She’s not well. It’s difficult for her to work.
N: She was disabled by my birth.
A: ??? That’s not your responsibility tho, you couldn’t have even prevented that
N: Nonetheless, here we are. So I want to handle it. 
A: I guess do what you want to do? Still seems like you’re being had. Idk
N: How would you feel if I said *your* parents are taking advantage of *you*?
A: After the past few days, vindicated
N: Well, I’m sorry for that, truly.
N: You’re more insightful than I give you credit for. I’m sorry if I came off harshly.
A: It’s okay. Let’s talk about something else.
N: What’s your favorite magic to practice? You must have had some amazing tutors at the palace.
A: Haaaa are you actually trying to get to know me?
N: If you wouldn’t mind it, I would like that. Up to you. You can ask me anything too. 
A: Honestly I don’t like any magic, because I suck at drawing mana. I’ve never liked the feeling of the second veins.
N: That surprises me. You mean the sensation of it?
A: Not exactly. It’s just so…not mine? I know it’s supposed to work off of my intentions. But it’s not me doing it and so unsettling. When you build a machine, you apply force and it moves. Even if different parts keep it moving, like an engine, you kickstart it. Magic isn’t like that at all. It’s something inside my body that’s not me, doing…maybe what I meant to do but maybe something else. That’s the worst part. 
N: It is like that, you’re right. You’re…occupied with a force beyond yourself. I guess I never had much that was mine, so it’s not a big deal to me. But I can understand why it wouldn’t be enjoyable, if that’s important to you.
A: Thanks for getting it. I talk nonsense sometimes.
N: No, it makes sense. Do you like machines then?
A: Yeah! I’ll have to show you the garage at some point. I’m just too tired today.
N: Have you had something to eat?
A: No. My throat hurts and it feels too much like the curse. Keeps messing with me. I’ve been staring at a bowl of soup this whole time.
A: Really not looking forward to our transfer. 
N: I’ll skip dinner tonight. I can go a day - it’s not fair for your throat to be double sore.
A: No. You’ll get sick if you go hungry. You spent too much time with me earlier. 
N: It’s okay if I do
A: The guards will make us transfer anyway. 
N: I don’t know. If neither of us cooperate, they may as well just leave it until tomorrow. We have a chance.
A: Ninlen, if I don’t get to atone in some way for at least ten minutes, I’m going to smash everything in my study
N: Atone?
N: Where is this coming from?
A: Just forget it. Get yourself beat up, if that’s what you love so much. It won’t matter.
N: I’ll give you the curse without a fight if that’s really what you want. 
N: Please feel better in the meantime though. You really need to eat. Maybe something cold, if hot isn’t working. Do you want ice cream?
A: Fuck you fuck you fuck you you’re making me cry
N: What? I don’t know how to say the right thing…
A: IT’ NOT LIKE THAT
A: I DONT DESERVE IT
N: I’m coming upstairs.
A: NO
N: Okay, um, never mind. I don’t understand what happened so quickly… Please take care of yourself. You really don’t deserve to be punished. I’m sorry.
[hours pass]
A: I didn’t mean to ruin things. Can we talk like this again tomorrow?
N: Nothing is ruined. I’d really, really like that. 
Taglist: @inhurtandincomfort @paingoes @bluelolblue @zillobeastrevival @violets-whumperflies
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girlivealwaysbean · 4 months ago
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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soupblr · 4 days ago
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the one thing i keep coming back to is that in the present i feel all the same amount of hope and good feelings toward them but every time i go back in our messages it's soooooooo fucking obvious to me that there was WAY more lying and hiding shit than i was allowing myself to be aware of. like pretty much no matter what random date i pick, there's a big fucking red flag waving in my face. i feel so stupid sometimes because i literally. do not understand. how someone could be this shitty toward me. and not have been doing it on purpose. i can only understand not wanting to admit that... even if acting on it was no problem. and that just crushes me
#x#i really don't understand what i did to elicit that kind of treatment#as if you fucking hated me whenever i wasn't doing shit that benefitted you#like all i have ever wanted was to see you thriving and you HATED me for that. why??#everytime i tried to help you move forward there'd be another knife in my back and 'i didn't mean to'#no real apology no appreciation for me in the first place.. no change. no consideration of my feelings. always all about you#even to the point that the times you have harmed me become about you and how you feel guilt. so exhausting i wish i had seen that sooner#like you cannot handle to be in a relationship with someone who genuinely believes in you to that extent bc you don't believe in yourself#and you hate that you don't believe in yourself. you hate being faced with anything like that#or something... i don't get it. i wish i had someone to support me the way i supported you. because i don't and i never have.#and now i don't have the energy to be that person for myself. because i gave that away. it all hurts way too much#i would have loved you no matter what you told me and still you hide yourself from me (and from yourself)#always. pushing me away. do you hate yourself that much?#you hide everything unless i have already make some previous indication that i will accept it. never open up to me or trust me#i am realizing that. like i have tried to trust you over and over and over#and had that trust broken so many times. it feels like you only trust me with things that are 100% though. and no effort to build that#that hurts a lot too. i feel like i barely know you#that's another thing that's going to bother me forever probably. i was so hurt that the person i wanted to see me barely looked at me#but you were too busy shielding yourself and you always have been. i wish you could have let me be your safe space.#it's really sad to me that you seem to truly think you have no power in the world. and you don't even really want that to be false#because to acknowledge otherwise would make you face all the ways you have failed yourself#so you keep hiding. i don't get it i don't think i ever will. don't you want to live?#every time i have seen you claim power or take your power back i have been cheering for you so fucking hard but that core belief#still just doesn't change. like is that a shield?#if the world is always against me and i have no chance. better not to try right?#then i never have to feel bad about not taking a chance or making an effort. or when i do and i fail anyway#i always hope the best for you and i really hope you can find a secure identity outside of victimhood. that's all
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tojbnuy · 3 months ago
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since you guys are asking sooo nicely here is a part 3 teehee. part 1 part 2 . art by @ _3aem on twt!!
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bestfriend!satoru who’s always buying you new jewelry. esp with your initials on them, you’ve got bracelets and necklaces in golds and silvers because he knows you like both.
bestfriend!satoru who calls you at night and will always convince you to turn it into a facetime. he doesn’t think you realize just how appealing you look with your hair down, big glasses on and a thin strapped pyjama top. said straps falling down your shoulder as your busy talking and he’s trying so hard to listen but how can he when your tits just look so good and from this angle he’s got a clear view. ‘toru are you listening?’ ‘yeah pretty carry on’
bestfriend!satoru who hates it but finds himself feeling slightly insecure when you’re engaged in conversation with nanami. he knows nanami can actually converse with you about the books you read and some of the movies you watch, something satoru’s been meaning to catch up on so you could have these conversations with him instead. he’s complaining to suguru as nanami hugs you goodbye and everything just gets worse when you walk over with the most adorable smile only to tell him that nanami was taking you to the theatre. why the fuck do you want to go to the theatre?
bestfriend!satoru who knows how childish it is but the next time nanami is in the room satoru has you pressed up against his body, his hands firmly gripping your ass as he looks dead into nanamis eyes. ‘ouch toru too hard’ ‘so sorry pretty girl your ass is just too perfect’
bestfriend!satoru who asks you for lip balm but he always means he’s going to kiss it off of you. plenty of times he’s left with your lip combo pressed onto his lips and chin.
bestfriend!satoru who places a blanket over the two of you when your friends are over. his index finger playing with the hem of your tiny shorts. when he sees you listening too closely to nanamis boring ass stories he grabs a handful of your shorts and hikes it up until the crotch is pressed directly against your clit. he smirks at the hiss that leaves you . ‘y/n you okay?’ spoken aloud and now everyone’s staring at your flushed cheeks and the firm grip you have on his bicep.
bestfriend!satoru who is mean and he knows he is but he can’t stand it when you go all quiet with him. he noses at your cheek and presses little kisses all over your eyelids as you try to keep a stern face. ‘sorry baby it was an accident, let me kiss it better?’
bestfriend!satoru who has an obsession with your lips. yes he may be obsessed with many things about you but your lips are truly his kryptonite they are his downfall. he cuts you off mid sentence a lot just to give them a quick peck. sometimes he even licks them cos he’s a perv. ‘toru you can’t keep doing that’ ‘but why baby? i just find you too cute’
bestfriend!satoru who smiles like a loser when you include him in your monthly photo dumps.
bestfriend!satoru who adores when you seem equally as annoyed when he gets female attention. he’ll elongate it for the fun of it sometimes just so you’ll get mad and that means you’ll probably be sleeping at his house tonight. you know because everyone else is wasting his time.
bestfriend!satoru who bites random parts of your body. your tummy is a frequent victim. sometimes when you’re on the phone and his head is laying your lap he’ll turn over and bite your tummy. then your thighs. sometimes fingers too.
bestfriend!satoru who is a ‘where my hug at’ warrior. as soon as he enters the function he expects a big hug from you. and if he doesn’t get one he is at you in a heartbeat ‘baby where’s my hug?’ and his hands are roamingggg all over you, not an inch of you untouched.
bestfriend!satoru who knows sometimes all you need is a little reassurance. no one gets you like he does and sometimes you truly just need to hear His voice telling you you’re okay. sometimes you crave him just like he constantly craves you.
bestfriend!satoru who drags his index finger across your lips as you sleep. sometimes even sticks his thumb between your parted lips.
part 4 !!
tag list : @haruhatake @moncher-ire @startwithrecords @ranatherealestsigma @chjinua @whozeurdaddy @sukuxna0 @purp1eha1o @tibibibi123 @jjkysnk @missthatgirl @greensunflowerjuna @macchiatoast @suechii
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zevrra · 3 months ago
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𝐢. 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬
synop: you and vik get caught “messing around” in the lab by jayce; who surprisingly wants to join in on the fun.
wc: 1.8k
includes: straight smut, p w/o p, fem!reader, jayce x reader x viktor, slight vöyeurism, oral (m receiving), slight dirty talk, threesome, bottom!viktor
extra: part 2 is here! reblogs are appreciated <3
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“don’t worry,” you whisper, fingers twirling along a red tie before smoothing down the front of viktor’s vest. “i sent jayce out on an errand run and he won’t be back for a little bit. just enjoy this v.” you add with a hum.
viktor looks up through his pretty lashes at you. he leans back against his desk, practically sits on top of it to keep weight off of his leg, as you two stand inside of the lab. he had been working far too hard recently and the only way you could keep him distracted long enough not to think about anything involving his work was to pleasure him. it was the same way trying to get him to sleep every once and awhile, when he would sneak into your room. you had never suggested doing it in the lab though…and the thought thrilled you just as much as it thrilled him; even if he thought it was a terrible idea.
“w-we shouldn’t. not here in the lab and what if—” viktor mumbles but his words end in a soft gasp as your fingers begin to untuck his shirt from his pants.
“viktor,” you chirp as you fall to your knees in front of him, unbuttoning the front of his pants and pulling them down ever so slightly. “you need to take a break. be a good boy and just relax.”
your fingers are just grabbing the hem of his underwear when the door to the lab is being thrown open and jayce’s large figure enters the room. “hey, i was looking for this thing you asked for but i—“ jayce had begun to speak, his eyes pointed down as he entered the room, before he finally looked up and caught the two of his friends in the act.
you freeze in your spot, eyes widening as you stare at jayce from the floor. a scarlet red blush is spreading across your face, you can feel the heat on your cheeks in an instant and you’re sure you match not only jayce’s shocked face but viktor’s as well; and you can’t even bring yourself to look up at him. you probably stay like that for a little longer than you should’ve until jayce clears his throat and you and viktor alike scramble from each other.
“we!” you start as you stand up straight and as quick as you possibly can. “wait it’s not what it looks like! we were uh just uhm—“ you ramble before looking at viktor to help dig both of you out of this hole. but he’s busied himself with trying to zip his pants back up, making it far more obvious if it hadn’t been already. you sigh, turning your face off to the side to stare at a small spot on the floor, unable to look jayce in the eye.
“do…you do this often?” jayce’s voice cuts through the built up silence in the room like a knife.
you shake your head quickly but viktor speaks up for you instead. “never in the lab.” he mutters.
“it’s unprofessional, we get it, let’s just drop it and forget this—“ you begin to add but the sound of the door closing with a lock interrupts your rambling. when you finally bring your gaze to jayce, his eyes are soft but clear in their intentions. and it was his turn to no longer be able to look at the two of you.
“can i…watch?” he whispers under his breath.
and with three little words, everything changes between all three of you.
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now, jayce leans against the lab’s desk as viktor leans back against his chest. jay’s strong hands fully support viktor as you’ve returned to your spot in front of him. you had never in your life thought jayce might have been interested in whatever you and viktor had going on. maybe you just assumed he already had a lover and never brought it up again. but now his hazel eyes stare down at you, just as viktor’s amber eyes also watch you, both with a hunger to their eye. it almost made you nervous, being watched, but your fingers once again hook around viktor’s underwear and pull down, ignoring the jitters that hum under your skin.
your hand wraps around vik’s semi hard cock and you give it a soft tug, rubbing right up the shaft until the tip. there was a new feeling in the air around all 3 of you. breaths being held, eyes watching ever so closely, the slight tremble to your hand. it had been different when it was just the two of you enjoying midnight meetings but now with jayce there too…it felt far more scandalous and naughty.
“tell me what it feels like.” jayce whispers, purposely placing his chin into the crook of viktor’s neck, as his hands slowly run up along vik’s chest.
your own hand continues to move against viktor’s shaft, stroking him slowly up and down, moving to press your lips against his head.
“mmph, her fingers are a little cold,” viktor replies with a low groan. his chest rising and falling in quicker succession as he begins to get turned on. “but it feels good.” he adds. and his honesty makes you smile a little.
you move your hand faster in return to his praise. trailing your fingers along his head, pressing your thumb into the slit of his cöck, where he’s growing sensitive and causing him to gasp softly. you take the moment to lean forward and capture the head of his cock inside of your mouth. drinking in the sight of viktor’s eyes fluttering, his fingers tightening onto whatever he can grasp, as your mouth wraps around him.
“keep going viktor.” jayce instructs as you watch him place hot, heavy kisses against vik’s throat. one of his hands groping his thin chest and waist.
“w-warm! it’s so warm and wet,” vik breaks. he’s fully hard now as you suck on his head, making him whimper at the feeling. “feels—ah—really good.” he adds with a groan as his eyes return to watching you.
you can feel his thighs tighten as you swallow more of his cöck, continuing to use your hand to stroke up to your lips. you watch every expression that crosses viktor’s face along with jayce’s fingers that slowly begin to take off his vest. strips him of his vest and then works on unbuttoning his brown shirt underneath.
jayce keeps laying hot kisses along the back of his neck and on his throat, slumped over and threatening to swallow all of viktor’s thin frame.
the sight makes you somewhat giddy and excited to see what jayce does. but it never distracts you from making viktor feel good as well. sucking a little harder, spit bubbling up at the sides of your lips as you sink further down onto his lengthy shaft. your eyes are almost falling close to help you focus as you swallow more and more of him, but jayce’s voice catches your attention once again.
“she looks so pretty like that, doesn’t she, vik? makin’ you feel so good.” he whispers against just as pretty, pale skin. his words cause vik to stutter, hips lifting up and forcing you to swallow the rest of him. and you do so with ease.
you truly wouldn’t have guessed jayce was so good at dirty talk but you welcomed any surprises at this point. viktor simply whines in response, head hanging low, gaze still on you as you continue your routine of sucking him off.
jayce stands to his full height then, hanging over viktor just enough so he could turn his face and capture his lips. viktor’s eyes widen in response but he does nothing to stop jayce; no, instead he’s melting into the kiss. you watch with eager curiosity as their tongues clash together, jayce easily winning in the battle of dominance, as one big hand of his moves up to gently caress viktor’s throat.
fuck, was it hot watching them. you can feel your pussy throbbing at the sight just as you can feel yourself growing wet against your panties. you squeeze your thighs together, slipping a hand down below to press your fingers into your core. the best you can through the pants you wear for the moment but the pressure is enough to make you groan. you move your lips faster along viktor’s shaft, sucking harsher and sloppier to bring him closer to his end.
the change of pace and jayce’s tongue surely has viktor coming undone quicker than usual. for he breaks the kiss with a harsh whine. “i’m close!” vik gasps, tossing his head back onto jayce’s shoulder.
jayce presses a quick kiss against his jaw before his hazel eyes return to watch you suck viktor off. his eyes are hazy and full of lust as he fixes his intense stare on what you do; which makes you shiver with newfound pleasure under his sight. his strong gaze makes you press your fingers into your pussy once again, seeking any form of satisfaction you could get for the moment.
“look viktor,” jayce instructs as his hand smooths over viktor’s lower abdomen. “she’s touching herself.”
viktor’s breath hitches in his throat but he moves his own lust filled gaze down to stare at you. with both of them returning to stare at you, you palm yourself harder through your pants. moving your hips in sync to every bob of your head, needy and desperate as things evolve, all the while you moan around vik’s cock.
it’s all too much for viktor as his hips lift and he thrusts wildly into your mouth. “going to—!” he cries softly, body tightening, throwing his full weight back against jayce.
but jayce is quicker. one hand grabs your hair and pulls you off of vik’s twitching cock before he takes his hand and wraps it around where your mouth had just left. “stick out your tongue. i wanna see the mess he makes all over your face.” he grunts, pumping his fist quickly along vik’s entire shaft. his hand is much bigger than yours and it wraps entirely around viktor with ease, and it makes vik lose all control he might’ve pretended to have.
but you do as your told and swiftly stick your tongue out to catch whatever you can. all it takes is viktor staring at your tongue and jayce’s hand jerking him off to finish his orgasm. viktor forces himself to watch as he comes, fingers grasping and gripping onto anything he can that’s near him as he tumbles over the edge with a sharp cry.
your name, along with jayce’s name, leaves viktor’s lips in a pathetic whimper as he comes. can feel the sticky substance coat your tongue, cheek, and chin with each rope jayce rubs out of him. all the while viktor and jayce watch as he makes a mess across your lips and face, never once looking anywhere else.
not until vik is completely spent, limp against jayce who holds him up effortlessly. the only noise now in the room is the shared panting between all three of you. you lick your lips, trying to clean yourself up just a little, before it was your turn to break the silence.
“let’s keep going.”
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a-b-riddle · 10 months ago
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Part Six
Can't stop thinking about reader finally giving the boys a taste of their own medicine. And hurting my own feelings in the process of it all. I wanted to make this a baddie reader chapter, but its just a saddie reader chapter. I played Down Bad by T.S on repeat while writing this. Y'all need to thank @blueladys-world for being my ventor for this part.
None of them came the next day to pick up the box of everything you had collected. By everything, quite literally everything. Birthday cards and gifts. Keepsakes from your time together they had given you. Even going as far as returning lingerie they had given you. You didn't want any trace of them in your home anymore. You were gonna have to work hard in rebuilding it to be your safe space once again.
You were surprised that someone from the expo had DM'd you. Renée was an author who had tried to stop by to your stand, but got too caught up in the day. She was in London, working on her next series installment and wanted to pick your brain. Writer to writer.
The two of you agreed on a time. She had mentioned wanting to try this restaurant the last time she visited and you already knew you would be putting that meal on a credit card. It was a bit of splurge, but after the past week you deserved it. You could even wear that sexy black number that had been collecting dust in your closet.
By the time you were done getting ready and squeezing into your dress, you looked more ready for a date than dinner with a colleague.
A colleague. You had a colleague!!!
The knock on the door pulled you from your girlish glee. You didn't need to guess who it was. Your friends knew to text you before they came over and Renée had agreed just to meet you at the restaurant.
It was one of them.
You didn't even t bother looking through your peephole before you opened the door to find Johnny standing there with a floral arrangement of your favorite flowers.
Johnny began to speak, afraid you were going to shut him down immediately no less. But no words came out. His eyes traveled up and down your body, taking you in.
A vision.
You wanted to snap at him that your eyes weren't located on your hips. But damn if it didn’t feel empowering seeing Johnny’s gaze gloss over.
"Fuck me." He swore, gathering his bearings before realizing you were dressed. In a sexy black dress and heels and makeup and oh, fuck you were going out. "Where are you going?"
"First off, none of your business," you said holding a finger up. "And secondly, what are you doing here?"
"Listen," "Bon-"
"The box is right there." You said pointing to a large cardboard box on the floor. "That's everything."
"If you just let me make it-"
"Up to me?" You cut him off again. "I'm over it. Really."
"Just give me a chance."
"Either you haven't spoken to the other two to know I am well and truly done with this situationship, or you’re hoping some half-ass apology and flowers will let you get a last fuck in and the skedaddle. So hopefully if it was latter, hopefully the former answered that for ya.”
So if that's all you came here for, I've got to get going. My reservation is at seven and it's rude to keep a friend waiting."
"It's been a week and you're already going on a date?" He accused.
"Who said anything about a date?" You didn't outright say it wasn't. Where would be the fun in that? “It's just dinner with a colleague.” You didn’t want to lie. It wasn’t a date. But you didn’t need to say it was a woman. “Hardly a date.”
“Look at the sight of ye!" He said, taking the opportunity to take a quick look at how deliciously your ass filled that dress. “A fookin’ dinner with a colleague. Like one of us would show up to a briefing like that.” You opened your compact. Not needed in the age of cellphones but loving the feminine touch.
There was something so... seductive about using a compact mirror to apply your lipstick.
“Kyle does have the legs for this dress.” You said, applying that lipstick he loves. That same shade that looked beautiful on your lips. The same lipstick you would mark all over Johnny’s body. “Believe what you want. Not my problem anymore.”
You put your compact back in your purse along with the lipstick in case you needed to reapply it after dinner.
Johnny's eyes zeroed in on your lips before his eyes met yours. That's when you felt it again. That undeniably spark of chemistry that you had with him. With all of them. That feeling that sucked the very breath from your lungs and for a moment all you could see was the man in front of you.
"Bonnie," he said placing his hands on your neck. His thumbs stroking your cheeks softly. "Just one more chance." He begged, his voice breaking. "I'm a fucking git, but I won't let you go again. I won't leave." You knew that when it came to promises, Johnny had proven that even if he didn't mean to break them, he had forgotten he made them in the first place.
But in that moment you didn't care. Even after everything, Meredith was right. You had loved them. Everything else had ended so shitty. John had blamed you. Kyle had only shown up until it was too late. And Simon. The last time you would ever hear his voice was after he said such cruel things to you.
No.
If you were done with Johnny, you won't let the last time he fucked you being a quick, rough fuck doggystyle before leaving you naked and alone in your bed.
No. The last time with Johnny needed to be good. It might make it harder to finally leave, but you needed this. You needed to know that he could still make love to you and not just fuck you like an animal in heat.
"Johnny?" You asked. Your mouth dangerously close to his. "I don't want you to fuck me."
"I don't have to," he said, starting to take a step back to give you some space before your hands reached his. Holding him in place.
He can't let you go. You couldn't let him go. Not yet. Just one more. You needed just one more time to get him out of your system. The closure you needed.
"Make love to me." You begged, your eyes pleading. "I need to know that I wasn't just something you wanted to fuck." You don't move as his eyes search yours, looking for reassurance. When you nod, his mouth softly touches your own.
His hands travel along your body, but never fully leave you. Sliding your neck to your back. Pulling your body closer to his. A hand placed on your hip so tightly he's afraid you might disappear.
There's no rush, no haste in his touch. His mouth not eager to devour you.
He's slow. With his hands, his tongue. Even when he picks you up and walks to your bedroom with your legs around his waist.
He doesn't throw you on the bed.
Not this time.
He lays you down. His body laying on top of yours. His hand skimming along your bare thighs, but not daring to travel any higher.
But damn you needed him. You wanted love making, but if he didn't get inside you soon, you weren't sure you could let him go after this. You weren't sure you would be able to leave.
"Johnny," you whimpered, pulling away from his mouth. "Please." You took his hand, putting it between your thigh. Aching for any friction.
He obeyed without hesitation. If you told him to get on his bark, he would in that moment. Anything to make you happy. Anything to keep you.
"Got to get you out of this dress first." He resting on his knees before he began to slide the black satin from your thighs to your stomach. You maneuvered, helping him undress you leaving you in nothing.
"I thought you liked the dress." You couldn't help, but tease. Your hand finding its home on the back of his neck, pulling you to him once more.
In a tone lacking any note of humor and in all seriousness, he looked at you. Really looking at you. Taking in how your smile reached your beautiful eyes before he said, "I want you bare to me when I take you."
You felt your stomach flutter at his words before he began to take off his clothes.
He joined you again. His body relaxing when they got between your legs again. His mouth traveled from your exposed neck to your nipples. Sucking and flicking them with his tongue until your back arched. Pressing harder into his mouth.
Your hands tangled in his soft brown hair before you boldly guided him to your already dripping core. He slid down your body before his hands began to push your knees apart until you were fully expose to him.
With your knees bent, Johnny settled on his stomach, placing soft kisses on your soft inner thighs. God, did he love seeing you squirm. He smiled at your tortured expression before looking down at your sex. "There she is." He said before placing a kiss on your pussy.
It wasn't sloppy. He wasn't diving in and licking at your center like so many times before. He was kissing it just as tenderly as he kissed your mouth. Slowly building it deeper and deeper. Adding tongue. Breaking away to readjust his head.
The delicious ache between your thighs began to become to unbearable. "Need you inside me." You panted. "Johnny-"
"Shhh." He soothed. "Got to warm you up first , Bonnie." He said before slipping his finger inside of you. One was all it took before your head settled against the pillows again. When your body relaxed, he added another. He would need to add three to make sure you were good and ready.
His digits stroked that spongy spot inside of you that made your toes curl. "You're barely fitting around my fingers." Johnny was a good 6 inches in length, but the girth is what always did you in. It hurt to take anything past his head into your mouth. If you fucked him without any preparation, especially after a week of no sex, he would tear you into too.
His tongue caressed your clit, your eyes squeezing shut as you felt your first orgasm creeping up on you.
"Johnny." You moaned, your fingers running through his soft brown hair.
"Give it to me, beauty." He panted. "Come on my face. Squeeze my fingers, Lass." He begged before his mouth went back to you.
It was like lightning. Your body now sensitive after being forsaken for so long. Your vision blurred and before you could process it, Johnny was sitting on his haunches between your legs, stroking his cock.
You could only nod, dazed and barely keeping a grip onto the reality of what this was.
The end.
He leaned forward, his cock nestling against you. You knew this was going to be nothing compared to his fingers. "Tell me if I need to stop."
You smiled, mockingly. Reminding him, "Not our first time together, Johnny." just our last.
"You were wrapped tight around my fingers." He gave a half smile before kissing your forehead. The gesture like a knife twisting in your heart. "I just don't want to hurt you."
"I'm ready." You brought your legs around his waist again. Pulling him to you, your arms wrapping around his neck as your mouths meet.
He presses into you. The head of his cock sliding inside just one or two inches. You body contracting around him in a small spasm. He swallows your moan and lets you adjust. He pulls away before looking down where the two of you meet.
"I could die like this, Lass." He said, his breath coming out unsteady as he tries his best to control himself. So close to just burying himself inside of you to the fucking hilt. "Seeing you like this is this first thing I want to see when I make it to the other side." You let out a choked cry as he pushes deeper inside you. Another inch. And another. And another until you're taking all of him.
He slurs something that sound like "fuck", but you are in too much of a daze to care. You arch into him, trying to get closer.
His thrusts are slow and deep. His pubic bone brushing against your clit making you whine and squirm. Begging for more.
You're not sure how long he had fucked you like that.
You needed it to stop.
You couldn't handle it. The softness. His words.
I could die like this, Lass.
Your lip quivered as you told him you wanted to be on top. You needed a moment. A chance to create a bit of space before he shattered your world yet again.
He pulled out. His absence already making you ache for him again before he settled beside you.
You squatted above his cock. Your feet flat against the mattress as you grabbed his hardness and slipping it inside of you. The sound you let out was pornographic. A high pitched, soft moan slipping from your lips as he buried himself inside of you again.
You placed you hands on his chest. Using the leverage to ride him. Your arms serving as barrier for you to get your bearings.
You used his body just as he had used yours. Throwing your head back, you moved faster and faster. Readjusting so your hands went from his chest to his stomach, giving him a better view of your connecting bodies.
His hand slips between the two of you, thumb pressing against your clit, and you tighten even more around. A needy whimper coming out of your throat. The sound mixing in with the sounds of his labored breathing and slapping skin as he begins to fuck up into you.
Even though he had been doing all the work for the last several minutes, you felt the tension start to creep into your calf.
"Fuck fuck fuck." You screech, barely able to hold yourself up any longer. "Ow." You hissed as the cramp took hold.
"Leg cramp?" He asked, not even faltering in his thrusts. You pathetically nod before he takes it upon himself to flip you on your back again.
"I'm going to do this every chance I can." He promises, pressing a searing kiss onto your exposed neck. "Any chance you'll give me." You can't take it. His words, his mouth, his fucking cock. It's too much. "I'm going to show you how much I want you. How much I want to fucking worship ye. Do anything to make you feel good. Not going to leave you again like that, Bonnie."
You reach for him again, pull him into a searing kiss just to shut him up. You need him to shut up. You couldn't take his false promises. You wouldn't survive it. Couldn't.
"Shit." His thrusts quicken, his thumb returning to your swollen bud. Flicking it in a way he had crafted into an art. He buries his face into your neck and you know he's getting close.
You weren't too far behind.
He didn't want to come, not yet, but this was fully out of his control. It was pathetic. A week without sex and you had him nearly coming in the first ten minutes.
But that's what you want. To see him lost in the idea that you would stay.
"Johnny." You groan out. "Please. Cum inside me."
He draws fast, beautiful circles around your clit that immediately push you over the edge. You shut your eyes tight, squeezing him like a vice as you come in strong waves, continuing to push inside you.
in out in out in out.
Deliciously clenching around him tighter and tighter until he can't take it anymore.
"Fuck," he says again, and you see it in his face, and you see it in his face, the second it's all over for him. You want to sear the image in your head. Keep it there forever. Knowing you'll never see it again. The way those enchanting blue eyes squint nearly shut before closing in complete ecstacy.
His mouth would open. A moan caught in his throat that he isn't ready to let go.
His hand closes around your hip, holding you to him while he presses as far as he can go, and it's only then do you feel his cock twitch in quick, jerky movements. He moans out your name before taking your mouth into a searing kiss.
"I fucking love you." He says. "So fucking much."
He was still under the blanket when you returned from the bathroom. You picked up your clothes up from the floor. Looking at the clock realizing you had less than five minutes to get out the door before you would be late for dinner.
"What are you doing?" he asked. You couldn't look at him. Hearing the panic in his voice almost made you stop. Tell him it really was just dinner with a colleague. A woman. That you would be back. Beg him to wait until you came home.
"I can't cancel on the dinner." You said slipping your feet into your heels. "This was a mistake."
You weren't sure why you said it. You weren't sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself. If you wanted to hurt him or make him think you regretted it when you would truthfully do it again. You would do it again and again. You would never stop.
Like Johnny, you could have died in that moment, but for a completely different. Where he would be content, you would be saved from the pain. The pain currently coursing throughout your very soul.
"Lock the door behind you." You say as you practically sprint out the bedroom. Only slowing in your stride to snatch your purse off the kitchen counter before running out. The door slamming behind you.
The restaurant was nicer than you expected. The wine alone was the price of an entree. You didn't seem to be phased at all and were relieved when Renée insisted on picking up the bill.
Your dinner had been delicious and the conversation even better. Renée wrote fantasy romance and wanted to pick your brain about a Why Choose. You had nearly spent out the over priced wine you weren't even really enjoying. Oh the irony.
"It's like all the rage now, but it's hard to make more than one appealing as the love interest. You should have seen the Goodreads comments on my last book. So many people bitched about my FMC not ending up with a character who was quite literally her adopted brother."
"So," you took a breath trying to find the words. "I'm going to be honest. I only read your latest book and I loved Luka. But I can't compare him to other MMCs you've written about so I don't know if they are similar or different. But what I can say is that I'm seeing like this trend of MMCs where they are all this dark-haired, brooding or mysterious character who dislikes mostly everyone and is only soft for either a select few or only the FMC."
"I think if you are going to write a Why Choose you need to think of guys you wouldn't mind falling in love with." You couldn't help, but think of what drew you to your boys. "One could be the leader. Someone who isn't afraid to have his neck on the line. To make sure everyone else is taken care of and being strong enough to handle the stress of that. He would be big on words of affirmation. Lifting the FMC up. For me, it would be someone that I know will take care of business. He's confident in his decision. That confidence would extend to me." You clear your throat. "If I was the FMC, that is."
"Okay." She nodded, pulling out a pen and notepad. "You don't mind if I-"
"I don't write about polygamy." Crossed that bridge. Currently trying to burn it. "So feel free."
"Another could be the one who it's so easy to fall in love with their charm. The one who falls to his knees. Wanting to worship every inch of her. The one who makes her laugh. That one to make her forget about the sadness that creeps into her bones. The one to hold her whenever he could. He's about quality time and physical touch."
"So different love languages." She said, her pen quickly scribbling.
"Yeah." You said, leaning forward. "Then there is the gift giver." Your mind went to Gaz. Most of the gifts and trinkets in the box sitting by your door had came from him. He had gotten you new earbuds when yours broke. When you were being harassed at your gym, he had bought you and him a membership at a different one. "The one who would give her the world if she asked for it. If you're going with a high fantasy then maybe the one to take note of something at a market that the FMC had been eyeing and he bought it for her. Just someone who takes notice like that."
"So acts of service would fall with all of them then you think?"
No. Simon had been the one who probably spent the least amount of money on you. He didn't praise you like John. He didn't even try to attach himself at your hip like Johnny.
But if you needed something fixed, he would come fix it himself. He'd be damned letting a strange man into your apartment. And alone? Fucking forget about it. The one who hated any sort of cardio activity outside of fucking you, but didn't hesitate in attempting to keep up with you when you wanted to go on a run and get some fresh air. If you needed something done, he didn't pay someone else to do it. He did it. If you wanted to do something, he made it happen. He made you safe.
You couldn't bring yourself to say explain it. Your eyes begin to itch. Warning you to think of something else.
So instead you just told her yeah. That they would all commit acts of service. And even in your hypothetical explanation of characters that haven't even been written yet, Simon was still the ghost among them.
"Lucky fucking girl." Renée said setting down her pen.
"Yeah." You said, downing the rest of your wine.
You walked home. The cool crisp wind feeling like it was whipping your exposed skin. It was soothing as the ghost of Johnny's touch still seemed to burn you.
You had hoped that you would get some closure, but you just felt hollow. You came twice and still manage to leave unsatisfied. Johnny wasn't malicious... he was Johnny. He wasn't like the others. Simon would never apologize and John and Kyle wouldn't try to keep reaching out after you told them know once.
Johnny couldn't stand you being mad at him. He never could. He would beg and beg for your forgiveness. You didn't regret fucking him one last time. He needed to know that you were well and truly done. There was no going back from this.
"Hey, Love!" You were pulled from your thoughts at the sound of a voice coming from a source you couldn't see. You perked up, quickly scanning the dimly lit street before your eyes settled on a cluster of shadows just across the street. "Yeah." The slurring voice said again. "Talking to you gorgeous!"
You resumed your trek home. Now picking up your pace. "Don't be like that! Where ya off to?" The voice followed you. You kept your gaze straight. You were three minutes away. Three minutes and you would be at your building.
Three minutes.
Three minutes.
"What's the rush?" Another voice joined the cacophony. "Just want to have a chat."
You turned. They were maybe twenty feet away. You kept your eyes glued to them as your started to make a run for it.
You had made it about ten feet before your body collided with someone. Firm hands gripped your upper arms, steading you as you threatened to fall back.
You sucked in a breath of air, ready to scream when you looked up. It was too dark to make out the man's facial features. He was tall. His head eclipsing the street lamp just behind him. You shook beneath his hands. The voices behind you now silent.
"Keep walking." You didn't need to see his face. You knew that deep timber voice anywhere. He released you from his grip before letting you pass him.
"Just wanted to have a chat." You heard one of them try to reason. "No harm done."
"No harm done yet." Was the last thing you heard Simon say before you broke out into a full fledged run.
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ramonathinks · 1 year ago
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(18+, minors/blank accounts dni)
jealous ex husband gojo who just can't keep stand seeing you with someone else. he hates that you gave up on him, hates that you don't wear your ring anymore even though he does and he wears it proudly.
"you have a date tonight, the girls tell me." busted. you cringe and eye you little daughters, only six the both of them but you told them to keep quiet about the situation.
"yes..." you reply, anxiously awaiting his response.
you could just picture his face now, nose a bit flared and lips pursed. with clenched teeth he said, "alright, have fun." but it wasn't that simple.
he always kept close watch on you and it made you nervous with how simple it left the conversation. "well, i could come pick the girls up before then. about 8-ish?" he asks and you say yes before hanging up.
gojo was always too busy which was what led to the divorce. you'd both married young, 20 and stayed together since but when the girls turned 3 you had enough and just left. he wasn't being there enough for you or the girls and it hurt.
when he pulled up you cursed yourself for getting ready so early. your hair in long curls and a knee length skirt with a small slit on the left leg. he didn't bothering knocking or waiting for you to open the door, he had keys and you knew this so you continued with your makeup.
he was standing there watching you but you ignored him. or tried to but he walked closer and closer until he was right in your face. "how beautiful, you are." he held your jaw and forced you to look at him.
"why don't you ditch this date and come with me?" he asked, bringing your lower reign to his. "don't you miss me baby?" he nipped at your skin and the memories and feelings were coming back.
you had to be strong. you swallowed and pulled his back from you. "you have to stop this, im sure you have someone out there satoru, but she isn't me." you tried to walk off but he grabbed your wrist and brought you to your bedroom.
"y/n, so you think anyone can make you feel as good as i make you feel? don't you know i love you? my feelings never left and i know yours haven't." he rubs you through your panties and kisses you on your lips.
"everything can be different now." he promises, easing his way between your legs. his heavy cock entering you slowly, it was only the tip so far but it was splitting you open. you'd been without sex for two years and now tears were in your eyes.
"you think he can fill you up like me?" he adjusts himself and enters more of his cock into you. he was still so big, you were choking. you could feel him in your tummy and in your throat.
"you're always going to be mine, so stop running." he told you as he jerked his hips. "stop trying to let this go baby?"
"satoru—"
"mommy! the door!" one of the girls yelled.
"shh," satoru brought a finger to your lips and leaned forward to make love to your mouth. it was too much and you both were drooling after just a few minutes, he pulled himself out of you and looked at his wet cock.
"think about what i said." it was hard to forget. you clenched your legs together after you cleaned yourself up, not even wanting to face your date.
not even wanting to face your ex-husband either.
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pepperyduck · 3 months ago
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pins & needles
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summary: how various jjk men react to ur new/unnoticed piercings! incl. nanami, gojo, geto, choso
warnings: veryyyyyyy suggestive (esp in nanami's), (new) piercings, geto's & nanami's is a new relationship type thing. excuse any typos pls😞. 18+ mdni!
a/n: i got like 3 new piercings over the weekend, this is just self indulgent and cute methinks. also tyyy for 700 :3, i'm trying so hard to get over the writer's block. love u all!
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choso + smiley piercing!
"i've never been happier to see you," choso groans as soon as he enters your dorm, kicking off his shoes at the door. though his voice is monotone, you can infer he's tired, worn out from a day's work and fighting curses.
"rough day?" you scoot over in bed to allow room for your boyfriend, smoothing out the sheets and flipping your blanket up.
"very." the singular word is the only response choso gives before beginning to strip his uniform right in front of you. as you're watching intently, choso gets almost completely naked before grabbing some clothes he'd left over; a pair of baggy pants and an "i heart my girlfriend" shirt that you gifted him, and lazily putting them on.
"i did something today, cho," you inform him, and choso’s attention immediately snaps to you, eyes showing that he was obviously wondering.
"what’d you do?"
you give him a bright smile, all the teeth in your mouth shown to him, the shiny ring glistening atop your pretty gums. choso’s brows furrow together, his pupils coming to realize there was something new in your mouth, something different about your smile.
"what’s…that?" he asks, stepping closer and closer and eventually sitting on the bed with you. you giggle at his curious looking, his eyebrows still knitted together in an inquisitive way.
"a piercing, silly," you inform him, carefully flipping up your top lip to show where the jewelry went through the frenulum of your inner lip.
"does it hurt?" choso leans in even more, straightening his eyes with the freshly pierced hole in your mouth.
"not really, just a little bit," you tell him, letting go of your lip and pressing a quick peck to choso’s lips. it catches him off-guard, choso’s face lights up red because he thought he couldn’t kiss you. smiling triumphantly, you pull away from your boyfriend.
"it—um—it looks really pretty on you." choso compliments, "can i kiss you again? please?" and he’s so sincere and sweet, always asking permission for everything. so endearing, really, even with his deep, dark voice.
needless to say, when he kisses you again, choso is making sure to flick the jewelry all around with his tongue, faintly enough to not hurt the new wound. and it becomes a habit from thereon.
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gojo + bellybutton piercing!
"i missed you so much, baby."
satoru is on top of you, arms caging you in while you lay underneath him, smiling and feebly grasping the biggest part of his bicep. it had been over a month since you'd seen your husband, he'd been away on a business trip for far too long.
"did you miss me?" his words are drawn out and dramatic, like always, like he was teasing you—but he was practically always teasing you.
"yes, satoru," you blankly reply, "i missed you."
just before you can roll your eyes, gojo's kissing you, a bit enthusiastically, but you quickly melt into his touch. as annoying as he could be, you loved him, you missed him. you had longed for him the moment he left—that was a fact you couldn’t deny.
as quickly as he meets your lips, satoru leaves, disconnecting himself to trail down your torso that was draped in a way-too-expensive t-shirt of his. but the one thing that doesn't leave you is his eyes, he keeps an intense stare on your face as he moves lower and lower towards your waistline. his fingertips dance along your sides before pinching the fabric of the bottom of the shirt and slowly lifting it up.
his eyes are no longer able to stay on yours when he catches a glimpse of the sparkly blue rhinestones on each ball of the jewelry stuck through your navel. of course, you chose the shade that best matched satoru's eye color.
"no way!" satoru exclaims, beaming with a new-found excitement for the little hole in your tummy, "you actually did it?"
"yes, satoru," you repeat, threading your fingers through the white tufts of your husband's hair.
gojo's nimble fingers come to play with the jewelry—the size comparison comedic from how large his hands are. he studies the now fully healed wound, moving the jewelry all around and practically forgetting the previous heated mood.
"do you like it?" you somewhat nervously ask, intimidated by the tedious investigation of your bellybutton.
"yes, duh," satoru dramatically quips, "you think i should get one next?"
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nanami + nipple piercing!
kento had tried so hard to ignore it.
you didn't mean to distract him, really. it was a simple mishap at first, not wearing a bra when kento came over. but after the first time, he didn't seem to mind, he was gentlemanly enough. his eyes stayed averted—when you were looking at him, at least—so you took it as a green flag to remain braless when he was at your house without worry.
but nanami's only a man.
so here you are, after work, after your boyfriend had come over, ranting to him in your kitchen about your boss and whatever bullshit you had to put up with that day. but your words land upon deaf ears, noise drowned out by the sight of the little hearts poking out from the shirt you're wearing. he's sat at your dining table, legs lazily spread as he half-listens to you.
"—like, what?! what else am i supposed to do in that situation?"
for the first time in your venting session, you lock eyes with kento, noticing how they flash up quickly from...your chest.
"ken?"
"um—yes?" he chokes, a little too obviously for him to not be embarrassed over.
a smug smile rests over your face, nanami was caught red handed, ogling at your boobs and the cute heart-shaped jewelry that adorned them.
"what'cha staring at?" trailing closer to him with a teasing tone in your voice, you're killing him, embarrassing the poor man as the seconds roll on. kento doesn't reply either, only a raspy breath leaving his lungs as his response. his face heats up and his expression drops, shamelessly glancing down at your chest once more—one, two—counting the peaks of your nipples through the shirt.
"i'm sorry," he finally chokes out, unable to keep his eyes from flashing up and down, to your eyes then to your chest, again and again.
without any words, you slot yourself between nanami's legs, inching your chest closer to his face. it was so funny how easily his stoic persona disintegrated under your presence. he'd never been this close to your chest—to you. and it's intoxicating to him, he's ashamed how he loses himself by simply being eye level with your boobs.
but that guilt quickly washes away when you take his hand and place it perfectly to cup your tit—index finger and thumb resting right around the pretty jewelry under your shirt.
tdlr; that's the first night your boyfriend stays over at your place.
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geto + clavicle piercing!
"you look lovely tonight."
smooth as ever, geto compliments you, his voice dripping with a sweet nectar. your insides warm up despite the harsh cold outside, the thick coat draped over your frame doing little to combat the weather.
"thank you," you whisper and smile at him, stepping into the door of the fancy restaurant suguru had chosen for your date. third date, to be exact.
once you're at your table, suguru helps you shimmy the bulky jacket off your shoulders, revealing the tasteful, deep-cut top you had chosen for your date—along with the two studs on each side of your collarbone that your clothing showed off rather perfectly.
it takes suguru a few moments to notice once he sits down. he tries to strike up conversation, relying on the simple questions and responses he can utter without getting too distracted. however, within a few minutes, geto is cracking, eyes every so often flickering down to the gems that aligned your clavicle so prettily. he can't help it, because with every slight movement you make, the jewelry sparkles in the dim light of the restaurant—it's hard to ignore.
"are you okay?" you interrupt your previous dialogue when you take note of geto's increasingly hazy replies, and how he seems a bit spaced out.
"yeah," suguru swallows deeply, "i really like your—um," his pointer finger vaguely motions to his own collarbone, and you have to look down at your chest before you realize what he’s talking about.
his mouth is dry. he’d already thought you were, like, the sexiest woman on earth, but this, oh this, was just too much. geto was unsure as to why he found the piercings so distracting, so hot, but nonetheless enjoyed the view he had.
"oh, thank you!" you giggle, smiling brightly and ghosting your fingers over the piercings—you’d honestly forgotten that this would be the first time he’s seen this much of your body, and the piercings ended up being the perfect touch to make suguru lose his mind.
and he can't wait until he's able to feel on 'em, too.
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mminghaos · 2 months ago
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best friend seungcheol whom you have a crush on, but never told him. he doesn't know it either and y'all just bicker all the time as bsf, one day all of it changes when you finally say you found a match on some dating app. he realises it and bam! hot and heavy shit go down.
bitter crush , choi seungcheol x f!reader
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SYNOPSIS: your bestfriend doesn’t know you’ve had a crush on him for years, but when you mention matching with someone on a dating app, everything changes.
WARNINGS: smut, fingering, kissing, teasing, mingyu as the failed date lmfao
requests are open, do send some in!!
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you’ve been friends with seungcheol since high school, watching each other grow up — first jobs, first kisses, and everything in between, sticking together through the highs and lows. your friendship is built on bickering and teasing each other like it’s second nature. but now, the bickering feels different.
“i matched with someone on that app i told you about,” you say, placing your coffee down on the wooden table of the café you and seungcheol are sitting at.
you’d decided to give a dating app a shot, hoping it would help you take your mind off seungcheol. maybe meeting someone new will help you move on, or at least distract you from the constant thoughts about him. but so far, it’s just more of the same — swiping, chatting, but none of its ever seemed to match the energy you share with him. you might as well move on, since seungcheol has is own hookups and girlfriends, and none of them will ever be you. its frustrating, the way this burning crush for him is always shimmering beneath the surface, gnawing at you. this is going to be the death of you — that’s what you always tell yourself.
“so you’re telling me you’re out here swiping on strangers?” he responds, his voice laced with something you can’t quite place. “what happened to the whole ‘not needing anyone’ thing?”
“it changed.”
“really? that’s weird.” he says, his eyes never leaving you. “thought you were too busy to deal with anyone new.”
you roll your eyes, trying to brush it off. “yeah, well, apparently im not as busy as i thought.”
you’ve never been the type to casually date or get involved with someone just for the sake of it. but lately, things feel different. seungcheol’s always been there — constant, reliable, and annoyingly perfect in his own way — and it’s hard to ignore how your thoughts always circle back to him, no matter how many times you try to push them away. you’ve never said it out loud, never let him in on the truth of how much he’s been occupying your mind, and the idea of dating someone else? it almost feels like a joke. you’re not really here for some random guy who doesn’t know you like he does. but the more you try to distract yourself, the more you realize how little it helps. no matter how many matches you get, no conversation ever seems to compare to the effortless back and forth you share with seungcheol. it’s like you’re chasing something that doesn’t quite exist, and each swipe only makes you feel more frustrated. but you can’t exactly admit that, not to him, not to anyone. so you keep trying, hoping maybe this time will be different, even though you know deep down it won’t be.
“so, who’s this guy?”
you shrug, trying to keep your voice steady. “kim mingyu. he’s nice. we’ve met a few times before, actually — works at that bar down the street.”
seungcheol leans back in his chair, his arms crossed as he watched you. he clears his throat. “just don’t pick some random guy who doesn’t get you, alright?”
“what, are you jealous or something?”
“no.”
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the date with mingyu went well. you two got along really great — there was no shortage of conversation, and the chemistry was comfortable. you both enjoyed the meal and found common ground in ways that made the evening feel lighthearted and easy. it was nice, actually, to just relax and enjoy someone’s company without any pressure.
even if the date was good, you and mingyu both agreed that you should just be friends, neither of you feeling the sparks you were hoping for.
you walk into your apartment, slipping off your shoes and placing your keys under the mat. its quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. you head towards the living room, where seungcheol is sprawled on your couch, sorting through the groceries he offered to pick up for you earlier this week.
“you’re back early,” he says, glancing up with a smirk. “thought you were gonna be out all night with your… date.”
you roll your eyes, not really in the mood to talk about it. “it was fine,” you reply, shrugging as you drop your purse on the counter. “nothing special.”
seungcheol raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “really?”
you let out a breath, trying to sound casual. “yeah, well, turns out i’m not as interested as i thought.”
he tilts his head, looking at you like he’s trying to figure you out. “what do you mean?”
you hesitate, leaning against the kitchen counter, fingers tapping against the countertop. “we got along, i guess. but we just decided to be friends.”
“huh.” seungcheol shrugs, clearly unconcerned, though there’s something in the way he watches you that makes you pause. “so you’re saying you don’t feel any connection with him at all?”
you shift, rubbing the back of your neck. “it’s just… not there. but whatever. i’m fine.”
“you sure?” seungcheol presses, his voice dropping an octave, and you can’t help but notice how close he’s sitting now. “because i’m sure someone else would love the chance to—”
“ugh, please.” you cut him off, trying to brush it off. “i don’t need some random guy to be interested.”
he smirks, clearly not buying it. “really? sounds like you do.”
you bite your lip, trying to hold onto your patience, but it’s slipping through your fingers. you know he’s teasing, and usually, you’d laugh it off, but tonight feels different. there’s a tension in the air that you can’t ignore, something that’s been building for years. frustration bubbles up inside you, and before you can stop yourself, the words spill out.
“cheol, i like you, okay?” you blurt out, your voice trembling slightly, surprised by how easily it all comes rushing out.
he pauses, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processes your words. there’s a moment of silence, and you feel like you’re about to suffocate under the weight of it. his gaze flickers to your face, then down to your hands, then back to your eyes, as if trying to figure out what’s really going on.
“wait,” he says slowly, his tone less playful and more cautious now. “you’re not drunk, are you? had drinks or something when you were out?”
you quickly shake your head, trying to steady your breath. “no, i’m not drunk. i just—” but the words feel clumsy on your tongue, and suddenly, you’re unsure of how to take them back.
“i shouldn’t have said that,” you mutter, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. “this was stupid, i’m sorry. i don’t even know why i—”
you start rambling, trying to downplay the confession that’s just slipped out. each word feels like it’s digging you deeper, and you just want to take it all back. “i mean, i don’t even know what i was thinking—this is—god, i’m so—”
but before you can finish, seungcheol pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you, stopping just a few inches away. his eyes still lock on yours. the silence stretches, and you feel your heart race, your breath catching in your throat. you want to say something, to apologize again, but all the words are caught in your chest.
“stop,” he says softly, his voice low, but there’s an intensity in it that you can’t ignore.
you open your mouth, wanting to explain, to take back the awkward confession, but the words jumble in your mind. “it’s just… i didn’t want to make it weird, and now i’ve probably ruined everything—”
seungcheol doesn’t say anything, just watches you with an unreadable look in his eyes, waiting for you to stop rambling. you go on anyway, trying to explain yourself, even though you can feel yourself getting more flustered with each passing second.
before you can continue, he steps forward, his hand gently cupping your face, cutting off your words. you freeze, eyes wide, but before you can process anything, his lips crash onto yours, effectively silencing you.
the kiss is deep and urgent, like he’s been holding back too. your brain barely registers what’s happening as your hands instinctively move to his chest, but the tension that had been building between you both for so long snaps. everything goes quiet in your mind, and for the first time tonight, all the chaos and nerves fall away, replaced by the heat of his kiss.
the kiss lingers for a moment, intense and raw, as if neither of you wants to pull away. your breath mingles with his, the world around you blurring until there’s only the feeling of him so close, so real. your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears, and you can feel the tension in his body as he holds you just a bit tighter, as if he’s afraid you might slip away.
when he finally pulls back, you’re left breathless, your forehead resting against his as you both try to catch your breath. his hands are still on you, one gently holding your face, the other resting on your hip, grounding you.
“you really don’t make things easy, do you?” he murmurs, his voice a little hoarse, the teasing edge back in his tone, but it’s softer now, more affectionate.
you don’t trust yourself to speak right away. all the words that had been stuck in your chest before are now lost, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him so close, his touch still lingering on your skin. instead, you look up at him, meeting his eyes, trying to make sense of everything, but before you can say anything, he smiles slightly, a genuine, soft expression.
“i didn’t realise how much i liked you until you told me about that guy,” he admits, brushing his thumb over your cheek gently. “i was too stupid to notice.”
you dont get to reply because his hand moves down your back, pulling you closer, your chest pressed against his. the room feels warmer now, charged with something you can't ignore. your hands find their way to his chest, pushing lightly at first, unsure if you should pull away or let it happen. but he doesn't give you that chance.
his lips return to yours, but this time, there's more urgency in it, his kiss deepening as his tongue brushes against yours. you let out a soft sigh, the tension that's been building between you two for what feels like forever finally snapping. he groans, his hand moving to your neck, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss further. the heat between you both grows, and you can feel every inch of him pressing against you, making your pulse quicken.
seungcheol's voice is low, almost a whisper as he takes a step back, hands resting on your waist, grounding you both. "do you want to keep going?" he asks.
you nod, your heart racing, but your mind is clear. “yes.”
he doesn't say anything more, just nods and gently takes your hand, leading you through the apartment. when you get to your room, he lays you down on the bed gently, his hands never leaving you.
seungcheol hovers over you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation, any sign that you’re unsure. you can feel his body close to yours, the warmth radiating off him. “are you sure?”
“yes, cheol.” you let out a light laugh, pulling him closer. “im sure.”
his lips trail down your jaw, each kiss softer than the last before he moves to your neck, his teeth grazing slightly over the skin. you let out a soft sigh once he pulls back after reaching where your shirt starts. before he can say anything, you’re reaching for the hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric over your head.
seungcheol takes a moment, his gaze lingering on you before meeting your eyes again.
“you’re so beautiful,” he says, unclasping your bra and slipping it off. “god.”
his hands find their way to your pants as he trails kisses down your chest, each one growing more desperate as his lips move lower. the warmth of his breath against your skin sends a shiver through you, and you can feel your heart race with every gentle press of his lips.
eventually, he pulls your pants off, discarding them somewhere on the floor behind him. “please.” you breathe out
“hmm?” he responds, his fingers slipping just under the band of your panties. “what do you want, baby?”
“need you inside me, please.”
he glances down at you, lips twitching up into a smirk. “patience.”
“no, no, no— cheol, please—” you whimper out.
“don’t worry, you’ll get what you want.” he cuts you off, pressing a light kiss to your collarbone.
when he finally stops teasing you and pulls your panties down, tossing them god knows where, you’re already a mess underneath him. every nerve in your body is on edge, anticipation building as he slides two fingers through your folds. “fuck, you’re soaking wet for me, baby.” a low groan escapes his lips, his restraint wavering as he fights to hold himself back.
he slowly pushes one finger into your pussy, giving you a moment to relax before he adds another and starts to curl them into all the right places.
“cheol!” your head falls back against the pillow, hand going to grab his wrist for some sort of stability.
“yeah, you like that?”
you’re already so close — just from the way his fingers move inside you, hitting every spot that sends sparks shooting througu your body.
you nod over and over again, hips rising to match the rhythm of his movements. “don’t stop— fuck— please, im so close.” 
your breath hitches, and you clutch at his arm, desperate for grounding as the sensations overwhelm you. every stroke of his fingers feels like its pulling you closer to the brink, and the tension in your body winds tighter with each passing second. “please—” the word slips out as a whisper, barely audible. your legs start to shake, the pleasure coursing through you almost too much to bear.
before you can even warn seungcheol, you’re coming undone all over his fingers, hips bucking up at the same time.
“god, thats so hot.” he mutters, but you’re too out of it to know if its to you or himself.
"you alright?" seungcheol asks softly, his hand resting on your hip as he looks down at you with concern. his touch is gentle, almost hesitant, as if he's checking for any sign of discomfort.
you nod, your breath still ragged, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "yeah, i'm good. just... didn't expect that." your voice is breathy, the lingering effects of the moment still making your body tingle.
seungcheol smirks, clearly pleased with the reaction. "you sure you're not too overwhelmed?" he teases, his hand moving to brush a strand of hair out of your face.
you laugh softly, the sound shaky but genuine. "im fine" you reply, looking up at him with a playful glint in your eye. "was that your way of saying you like me too?"
“it was.” he smirks, eyes locking onto yours. “think you can go for one more round?”
he really is going to be the death of you.
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pixie-felix · 2 months ago
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a/n: this fic has nothing to do with food.
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why yes I did make these GIFs especially for this fic thank you for noticing
Something to read while we're waiting for the results of the no thoughts/hard thoughts poll. If you want a soundtrack, Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher fits pretty well (no daddy kink in the fic though).
word count: 1.4k
Smut under the cut, minors dni.
comfort eating.
You’d been staring at this damn code for so long you might’ve burned it into your eyeballs. Somewhere, in the distance, you’re vaguely aware of the apartment door opening and closing, and someone calling out that they're home.
But by now you’re so obsessed with trying to find whatever formatting fuck up you made, that even the metallic jingle of keys falling into the “let’s-not-lose-this-shit” bowl doesn’t bring you back into the real world.
It’s not until your laptop physically moves out of your hands that you realise. Chan is home.
Sitting on his heels in front of you, he gently picks the computer up off your lap, his expression a mixture of concern and understanding. One workaholic recognises another.
“Is everything backed up?” He too knows the pain of a well meaning friend trying to help by tidying up, and accidentally erasing hours of hard work.
“Cloud and hard drive. And external hard drive. Possibly tattooed on my retinas also." He nods and carefully sets it on the side table, snorting quietly when you get to the part about your eyeballs. The little crease between his brows remains though.
“You told me you were going to take today off…”
You'd only meant to do a few lines of code, just to check for errors and maybe add a function or two. And yet here you are, sitting in the exact same spot from this morning, neck and shoulders aching from being hunched over your laptop for…
7 hours.
Chan rests his chin on your knees, head tilted to the side as he looks up at you like a lost puppy.
“Baby…”
No. Wait. Puppies don't sound like that. Or look at you like that. Or rub soothing, promising circles with their thumbs on the bare skin of your calves.
You're suddenly very aware still in your pajamas. If you can call it that. Really it's just one of Chan's old t-shirts, the fabric worn soft, always smelling like him even though you slept in it- and not much else.
Yeah, Chan's definitely not giving you puppy eyes.
The wolf is here tonight.
And he wants to play. You can tell from the subtle smirk that quirks the corner of his mouth when you audibly swallow.
“How… how was work?”
“Long. Busy. Tiring.” He punctuates his sentences with slow kisses on your knees, the closed mouth kind that still manage to feel anything but chaste. “Jisung dyed his hair blue. Felix's is no longer blond. Hyunjin cut all his hair off. Someone said something about a kiwi fruit and now the stylists are all freaking out.”
His tone is light, almost absent minded, but his touch has progressed from soothing circles to something a little firmer, a little more… demanding. And as his hands slowly creep up your legs, you're fairly certain you know what he wants.
“Chan…”
“Yes, baby?” His lips stretch into something that could almost pass for an innocent smile, if it wasn't for the fact his fingers have worked their way up to the hem of his t-shirt, slowly teasing the fabric further up your legs.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“Well…” his fingers sweep under the fabric, inching closer and closer to where arousal is bubbling in your belly, still carefully punctuating his words with kisses on your skin, “I figured, since we're both so... stressed…” his fingers finally brush against your panties and you shiver. “I could help you relax a little.”
“Wh-what a-about you?”
He’s tracing, teasing along the edges of your underwear, watching you bite your lip to keep your cool. He likes it when you try to stay quiet. It makes it so much more satisfying when you start crying his name like it's the only word you know.
And then the bastard licks up your thigh, tugging your panties down and saying the magic words:
“I thought I'd indulge in a little comfort eating.”
You didn't make it to the bedroom. You barely made it off the sofa. Instead, Chan just yanked you forward, laid back on the rug, and now you're riding his face in the middle of the living room. Making the kinds of noises you thought only existed in hardcore porn.
His arms are locked around your legs, holding you in place as he grinds you up and down on his tongue. Your hands are twisted into his hair, partly for balance, partly as an anchor… but mostly because when you tug on it Chan moans into your cunt and that feels so good.
He's already tongued you through one orgasm, licking you out like you are his favourite candy. He's so drunk on your pussy that he's murmuring the kind of filth that would usually make him blush -m’ baby tastes so GOOD, w’nna drown in thi’s pussy- though his words are almost completely obscured by the wet, sloppy sounds of him giving you the messiest head you've had in months.
It is amazing, and it's incredible, and Chan is clearly having the time of his life as another orgasm coils in your belly, ready to spring. But he's playing games with you now, teasing you with the gentlest flicks of his tongue, keeping that high juuuust out of reach.
Really, it's his fault that you can't help but yank his hair a little harder, grind down on his face harder, and then you're out of control, jerking your hips back and forth on his face until it hits.
And oh boy how it hits, gushing all over Chan's face, ripping all your dignity away as you buck your hips into his tongue, chasing the high rushing through you from your head to your toes.
You don't always squirt, but Chan loves it when you do.
His moans almost drown out yours, so loud he's practically shouting, definitely disturbing the neighbours with the string of enthusiastic cuss words and filth pouring off his tongue (that's right baby, cum on my face, fucking drown me in your cunt, jesus fucking christ-)
It takes you a minute to come back to yourself, Chan still desperately eating you out, working his tongue all over you like he's trying to lick you clean.
But the more he uses his tongue the wetter you get, the more your hips shake, and the closer you are to another orgasm.
One you're not sure you can handle.
You try to lift up a little, give him space to breathe, and your man straight up growls at you, yanking you back down on his face and sucking on you harsh enough to make you yelp. Reminding you who is in charge, he grazes your clit with just the gentlest scrape of his teeth...
And that orgasm you weren't ready for? Hits you like a railway train. You're aching and overstimulated and absolutely powerless to do anything other than thrash around and cry as Chan keeps sucking on your goddamned clit like the devil himself couldn't stop him.
You might've blacked out for a second. Or three.
It's only when you finally come to a gasping, shuddering stop that Chan finally gives you the two gentle taps on your ass that mean you can get off his face now (safewords aren't really an option when your mouth is full).
Except you're so worn out from relentless overstimulation that it's less of a dismount and more just you collapsing in a graceless heap, legs shaking and thighs aching from being held apart for so long.
Boneless and pliant, it's no effort at all for Chan to scoop you up into his arms and carry you princess style to your shared bedroom. You're barely awake as he tucks you into bed and crawls in beside you, nuzzling your hair as you curl up into his chest.
You've almost asleep when a Very Important Thought occurs
“Channie…”
“Yeah baby?”
“You didn't get to cum. Don't you need to cum? Y’wanna blowjob or sumthin’?”
Chan huffs a quiet laugh into your hair. You're so cute when your words are all sleep slurred.
“I already got what I wanted.”
You’re mumbling something about not playin' fair and don't w’nna be selfish, but you're practically unconscious anyway so he just kisses the top of your head and pulls you closer into his chest.
“You can make it up to me in the morning, if it bothers you so much.”
*It turns out that you will in fact, not be making it up to Chan in the morning. Because when he finds all the carpet burn on your knees, he has a minor breakdown and refuses to let you do anything all day.
Urgh, I feel like this is way, way too short, too rushed, and just generally had the potential to be so much better 😂😭 But I wanted to get it it out of my drafts before it gets lost in the poll fics. I wrote this on my phone, so it's probably riddled with spelling and formatting errors 😂 please forgive me. It's hard to write when the house is full and privacy is limited. Just 3 more days until the No Thoughts/Hard Thoughts closes 👀 thank you to everyone that's voted or shown interest, I hope my writing doesn't let you down.
p.s. I was gonna start this fic with the following GIF but not everyone wants a giggle with their word🍤 so that wouldn't have been very cash money of me.
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hard thoughts poll
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afterglowsainz · 5 months ago
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we used to have more | oscar piastri
part 2 part 3 part 4
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
summary: while working as community manager in formula 1 you have to follow a rule of no fraternization with the drivers, which keeps you and oscar from being together
fc: different girls from pinterest
warnings: some characters have names (because there’s only so many y/f/n that i can use), some mentions of oscar’s girlfriend as her ex
a/n: so i have this one shot called guilty as sin? (that you should totally go read) and i’ve been thinking about expanding on it a little because i keep getting ideas around the same concept so welcome to an au version of my own fic in smau format, enjoy!
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yourusername another season, another year of trying to make f1 fun for the girlies🎀
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lissiemackintosh do you just casually serve face like this on a random thursday?
yourusername occupational hazards 😝
username my girl is back !!!
username she’s so classy i love her
username i need the girlies that find her clothes to find everything in this dump asap!
username my icon
username y/n please stay in f1 forever thank you❤️
username oh to be a woman in f1
username FINALLY
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f1gossip mclaren’s oscar piastri was seen this weekend next to y/n y/l/n (the community manager of f1 social media) on different occasions. the people who sent us the videos said that oscar was the one that looked for her and approached her every time
tagged oscarpiastri and yourusername
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username yeah no
username pls lord let this be fake news
username he. approached. her. every. time.
username idk they look kinda cute together
username hoping and praying this was just for content or something
username nooo y/n is one of the f1 female icons, dating a driver would be such a setback for her 😩
username pls if she wants to date a driver then it’s her business, doesn’t take away everything she’s done for women in motorsports
username i love y/n and oscar separately, together …. uhmmm
username omg my faves!!! i hope they date they’d be so cute together 🥰
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oscarpiastri back to my roots in baku 🏎
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username good luck this year 🧿🧿🧿
username manifesting a championship as we speak 🕯
username ugh look at him i just KNOW a future F1 champion when i see it
username omg the ex girlfriend liked 🫣
username are we about to see episode 37283 of them getting back together after breaking up? 😅
username he looks so cute in that go-kart🥺
username let’s go oscar 🍾🍾🍾
landonorris 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽
oscarpiastri 😉
username nonchalant king!
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lissiemackintosh’s instagram stories
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[caption 1: milesbaldwin, declanmurray] [caption 2: yourusername my 💗]
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yourusername always hustling as you can see 🧘🏽‍♀️
tagged milesbaldwin
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username so beautiful 🤩
username the outfitttt >>>
username my fashion icon fr
milesbaldwin working hard or hardly working? 🧐
yourusername you’re one to talk
milesbaldwin i’m being attacked here pls defend my honor declanmurray miguelsossa
lissiemackintosh y/n is right miles you took two naps in one hour while we were making content
milesbaldwin !!! declanmurray miguelsossa
declanmurray girls be nice to miles
milesbaldwin 😁
declanmurray it’s past his bedtime
miguelsossa 🤣🫵🏽 milesbaldwin
username i love their friendship😩
username wtf oscar’s ex liked her post and unliked it 😭
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f1gossip mclaren’s oscar piastri was seen this weekend with his ex girlfriend at the paddock together, emerging rumors of possibly getting back together after six months of breaking up
tagged oscarpiastri and exgirlfriend
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username not again
username does this man doesn’t know there’s other women alive?
username guys leave him alone he’s competing for the trophy of who can get back with their ex the most times
username but … but … y/n ….
username i thought they were together too 😩
username i honestly prefer him with y/n than back with his ex for the millionth time
username guys they’re holding hands… it’s over
username my guy really lost the game of getting over your ex
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